>Get me Brad Pitt!
>He's unavailable, Sir.
>Then get me his non-union mexican equivalent!
Just admiring the shape of your skull
>>64274744
have they ever been in a movie together?
>we need a native american who can ride on a horse
>but we ran out of money
>I know just the man for the job
>>64274773
First post best post
unfunny as fuck man. He's actually a better actor than Pitt.
>Alright there's a problem everyone
>We still need someone to play a lead girl for three movies in a row in one of the biggest franchises in existence. Thing is we already spent everything on persuading Ford to come back also that BB-8 droid cost us like 800 million dammit. What do we do?
>Well we could just cast..
>No. Listen, I said we really don't have any money.
>Okay. Sorry sir. Why don't we call..
>Do you not understand? I really mean NO DAMN MONEY. ZILCH.
>Fine, I still have 200 dollars in my wallet, I'll go call that one skank I saw play a topless cadaver a while ago
>That'll do
>>64274857
>get me the cheapes most miserable black man
>you wouldn't believe who I got
>>64274744
>I need a woman who can grab the attention of the 4chan crowd
>Sir, this one is autistic and cute
>we completely ran out of money in our budget
>Get me someone who will work for food
>>64275189
doesn't he need money to pay for the A L I M O N Y?
>>64275257
He is paying with his very soul at this point desu senpai
>>64274773
Who said anything about slicing you up? I just wanted to carve a little something into your forhead
>>64274744
wow my gf said the same thing basically when we were watching sicario
actually more like this is the actor brad pitt wants to be, but i understood it the other way
>i need an actor
>who shall i use
>>64275515
my dog?
my cleaning lady?
>>64275515
>my cellphone lost all contacts except for two
>i need an actor
>>64274744
quit making this thread faggot. It wasn't funny the first 30 times and its not funny now
![jean-reno-3[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/yChLnQW.jpg "jean-reno-3[1].jpg")
>So we have a typicall french character, who should we call?
>>64275576
I guest I can't use my penis either.
mhh. penis, that reminds me of something
>>64275515
>I need an actor who is willing to fuck my wife while I watch
>when you want Patrick Wilson but want to appeal to the Reddit crowd
>>64275626
>>64275607
but it IS funny fampaitachi
>>64275189
leave him alone
Stop forcing your home made meme so hard it didn't take let it go
>>64274845
Uh, Snatch?
>>64275701
Reddit loves Patrick Wilson
>we n-
>say no more, he's waiting outside
>>64275672
I just need to put my wife on sexual scenes to humilliate myself, that will be my signature from now on
>>64275066
BRAVO DISNEY
>>64275626
>Eugh, eh-hello?
>Sir, I mean Monsieure, we need a french character in our movie
>Aueh, oui okay
>Also I need someone to fuck my wife
>Oui I said okay already didn't I Anglais
>>64275839
What sexual scenes has she done in Burton's movies?
>>64275066
>play a topless cadaver
>>64275066
>It's a Daisy has to pretend she's had less crack and dick in the past eight years than Carrie has had her whole life episode
>>64275066
DELETE THIS
>>64275607
>>64275769
![MV5BMTgyOTI3MzcxMF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNzIwNzQ3OQ@@._V1_SX640_SY720_[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/PFMstHW.jpg "MV5BMTgyOTI3MzcxMF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNzIwNzQ3OQ@@._V1_SX640_SY720_[1].jpg")
>>64275834
>actually I meant-
>he's also here
>>64275984
What do you think Carries pussy feels like?
>>64276076
YOU AND YOUR TURTLE FRIENDS ARE DEATH
>>64276105
like a mix beetween tuna and sweat flavoured gelatin
>>64276105
salty milk and coins
>>64275965
vincent cassel is the evil french character actor
>"We need a fat gay englishman to play himself for several hours and just bumble around in front of the camera."
>"Say no more familia, I know just the man."
>>64275626
>not this guy
>>64276076
> Right, but we al-
> He's literally sitting across from you as we speak Sir
>>64275769
oh it's taking
>>64276204
>>64276172
>a place where thousands of nerds have exploded
>>64276563
thats a big pussy
>"ok we need good bantz but nothing else"
>"We've got the director for you, sir."
>We're rebooting Twins
>Sir they're being flown in by helicopter as we have this conversation.
>>64276676
>We signed Tarantino but now we want to get rid of him
>say no more I have just the right person
>>64274744
that will hurt in the morning
>>64276820
lol
>>64276820
took a while
>>64274857
JUST
>No wants this role on this shitty flick, who should I call?
>>64275066
Fucking choked so bad on my water. It was terryfying.
>>64276373
he is turkish desu senpai
>>64277482
>who should I call?
WE HAVE JUST THE CAST FOR YOU
>>64276780
>Based Negan
>>64274744
so glad Brad Pitt didn't get the role
>>64274744
>Get me Morgan Freeman!
>God damn it anon you're handwriting is fucking terrible.
>>64279357
*****your
>Get me Will Smith!
>Done.
>>64275066
ayy
>>64274744
could have been this fella
>>64280267
>His non union english equivalent
>>64275066
MORE
>>64276820
>>64276965
>>64277245
what happened between these two?
>now who can we cast as this sneaky politician character...
>we got just the man, sir
one of these was pretty funny but i don't remember what it was
it had the when you _ but want to appeal to the _ crowd, but with a slight meta meme twist
>We need someone to play as a high-ranking military officer
>Got your man sir
>>64280267
>>64280304
>Quinn and Alejandro are tasked to travel to Colombia to chace a major druglord
>it aint me start playing while they land @ Medellin
>they have a 72 hrs manhunt in the barrios and jungles chasing cartel's mamarrachos
>they fight eachother every fucking second Alejandro in spanish and Quinn in British, but are effective af killing 3rd world sicarios
>Quinn tryes to doblecross Alejandro somehow near the end of the movie
>Alejandro puts his gun on Quinn's chin and asks "QUIERES MORIR PENDEJO"?
>cut to black roll credits
>"TO BE CONTINUED" SHOWS UP THE SCREEN.
i'll pay trillions to see this
>I need boobs for this scene
>But sir we can't afford Eva Green
>But we do have someone waiting outside
>>64274744
>we need a britbong to play an real antihero edgy action guy
> say no more
>>64280663
but she never does nudity
>>64280688
Who said anything about nudity?
>>64280663
>she will never do nudity since no one will offer her major shekels to do it :(
>>64280476
>RAMIREZ
topkek
>>64280432
krysten ritter has 0/10 feet. they're truly grotesque, like a bunch of little frankenstein monsters.
>>64276780
>Didn't understand the "joke" that formed the basis of Twins.
>>64280718
Why would you want Eva Green if not for nudity?
>>64276076
I poke my head out of the gutter for one freakin' second and fate shovels shit in my face
Cool actor but Sicario was death boring. I don't understand what they were thinking?
>>64280830
She's a decent actress if you compare her to all the other talentless skanks in hollywood nowadays.
>when you want the 4chan memes, but can't afford them
id rather look like del taco than Brad pitt.
>somehow this meme went from being about cheaper version of AAA actors into being about actors who are typecasted frequently
>>64274945
>better actor than Pitt
That's not hard desu senpai.
>>64275181
>The studio demanded we include an actor who is also a rapper
>Uh sir, Ice Cube is currently booked in various movies and T.I isn't in the movie business anymore
>But who can we call?
>I know a rapper who even won an Oscar too
>Who could that be?
>>64274857
what movie?
>>64275066
She looks better there than in any pic I've seen of her before. I can actually see some Portman in there.
>>64283951
That isn't Ice T
>"Quick I need somebody to play a German officer in my WW2 movie."
>"I have just the man for you"
>I want that midget from Game Of Thrones!
>Peter Dinklage is unavailable, sir.
>What about the other one?
>I'll make the call.
>>64274744
>Nolan: We need an actress who looks mediocre as fuck and has a big fat mole on her forehead, oh, she also should be terrible at acting, have I mentioned that?
>You will be suprised sir, but we got just what you need
>>64276780
ok they are at least related right?
>>64284278
Top tier kek tbqh(to be quite honest)
>>64284311
i would be seriously uncomfortable meeting someone who looks that similar to me
>I want our film to attract the nihilism crowd.
>Got you faÍŹm.
>>64276105
sand
>>64274744
>Listen, we're making a live-adaptation of the Hunchback of Norte Dame. However, most of our budget went to the sets and we need to save $$ on cgi and make up
>>64284285
>we want the Dani Daniels audience
>"We need to cast this foreign fellow. But he can't be French or British."
>"Let's just hire the current flavour of the month German actor."
>>64275181
>tfw no movie adaptation of the Roonventures
it's like they hate money
>Can we get Chris?
>No
>>64284278
>>64275066
>>64284501
He is Austrian you pleb
>>64274744
>Get him on board
>Say no more, sir
>>64284570
>>64284501
>Did you get ahold of Christoph yet?
>No Mr. Tarantino
>You tried his email right? H-he doesn't always check his voicemail
>Mr. Tarantino I'll try again but I really don't think he has time right now, he's busy with that Bond movie
>>64284570
>Austrian, German, Swiss
>implying there's any difference
>implying normies don't remember them as "That German guy from that movie"
>>64284599
>>64274744
>We need the absolute best looking and most suave fuck we can get right now
>say no more family I know just the guy
>>64276820
10/10
>>64275965
Fucking loved him in Trance.
>>64275834
His fee per day is 5000$
Also check his imdb, 36 roles near the end of 2015 and more in 2016
>>64276820
>>64279482
>We need laurence fishburne!
>Done.
>We're in the 90's and we're doing something
>She already said yes
>>64276820
>>64280821
Jesus Christ.
>George said no
>Brad said no
>Matt said no
>>64284629
Except Roth is in most Tarantino flicks
>>64284599
KEK
>>64286286
goddamit
>Get me James Dean's autistic nephew!
>say no more, senpai
>>64274744
he looks a little bit like Leonardo Dicaprio tbqh senpai
>We need a man to portray a right fucking cunt.
SAY NO MORE
A
Y
N
O
M
O
R
E
>>64275777
His brother looks like Brad Pitt and Zach Braff had a baby together.
>>64279357
Martin has great hair genes, especially for a Britbong.
>"It's a progressive film so the main character needs to be black but you know, not too black."
>>64288751
He's good but he's no david lynch
>i want chris hemsworth to be in my film
>he said no
>>64284629
And to be fair Tim is much better actor
>>64284223
he gives no fuck being typecasted, Til silverman on the other hand
He goes where he is sent
>>64275116
lol
>>64276820
This is advanced /tv/ posting
I'm impressed
>We need a tv show villain with a master plan
>We got you senpai
>>64292414
At first I thought that was minor-villain-that-is-an-Irish-gangster
>>64280558
FUCK I want to see this so badly now
>We got a lot of stars in this film. But there really needs to be somebody round out the cast. Can we meet his quota?
>>64274744
Del Torro is a better actor than Pitt
>We need an actor to lose their arm
>Say no more
>we need a Jew with an undeserved sense of superiority
>you got it, goyim
>the director wants paul giamatti but this script might be one of the worst things anyone will ever see
>i've got just the man
>Implying Brad could've done Dr. Gonzo justice
>we need a henchman. He should be Scottish or Irish or something
>>64280663
Never seen someone so attractive but so repulsively annoying looking before
>>64284535
Who's the guy next to Dany?
>>64275834
>>64276076
>>64276376
>>64280663
>We need to cast the role of Natalie Portman's assistant
>How about Kat Dennings?
>No, there's no way we could convince the audience that a testosterone-fueled and hormone-driven being like Thor would choose Natalie over Kat
>It's cool, we'll just make her look frumpy as fuck the whole movie
>>64284535
i find this pic more funnier than I should
>>64297563
DB Cooper
>>64297717
She banged another assistant right?
Taking a "really hard dump-look" done for many years will make any man with square jaw bone into
Plan Brat Guillermo Di Caprio Pit.
Try it, it will bring you many women..and maybe an role in AAA Hollywood crapfest.
>>64297717
she always looks frumpy as fuck, her only redeeming quality is her massive rack.
>quick we need a fat guy as a main character get me john candy
>no sir he is dead
>fine than get me Chris Farley
>no sir he is also dead
>fine this guy will do
>>64295176
Considering how many movies he's been in where he's lost a limb and the fact he has barely aged in 30 years, I put forward a motion that he is not actually real
>Get me the greatest living actor after Daniel Day-Lewis retired
>right away sir
>>64276076
Oh look it's TR-8R
>>64284285
Someone never saw La Mome but it's ok to be pleb
>>64275607
> I need an actor to ruin a beloved franchise
I love this thread.
>>64276105
Velvet that's had milk spilled on it and not cleaned up
>>64276820
>>64286402
> filename
you glorious bastard
>>64284182
He isn't nominated for an Oscar smfh tbqh fám
>>64284488
Nigga she's full Liza Del Sierra
> Ronny Cox's agent is pretending he's dead, we need someone who the audience will hate even if he's playing with kittens
> it just so happens sir
>We need someone to play Seabiscuit
>She's outside sir
>>64299914
You foul for that
>We need an unfunny jew fucking faggot that will ruin our film for next to nothing pronto
>Got your guy, sir
Is there such a thing as budget actors/actresses?
>>64300022
lol hes italian/german and catholic
>>64276105
Imagine a bunch of squashed bananas in a large bowl
>>64276780
Is that the guy form the watchman ?
>>64285957
Galifianakis. top kek!
>we need Jesse eisenberg immediately
>he's busy right now filming a movie sir
>what about that guy who tried to sell us that shitty Ghostbuster 7 script earlier today can he act?
>smdh say no more sir
>>64288845
Is that a real person? It might be the drugs but that looks like a cartoon.
>>64297731
I love it, Jon snow or whatever his name is has the perfect facial expression too
>>64275181
you mean just autistic
>>64275757
tachi is plural, you're talking to one person
>we are making an oscar bait movie but we need to make it painfully clear
>he is waiting outside sir
>>64302710
who is this
>>64274744
top kek monty!
>Mr. Smith, would you like a cold drink, sir?
>Sure
>Plug her in, Tony.
>i need a cheap and recognizable asian
>say no more
>>64302814
i don't get it
>>64276342
I fuck your sons face
>We must get Matt Damon to play the role n this great action movie
>Sir, he is tied up with the Bourne trilogy
>Fuck i really wanted a Boston douche for this
>I think I might know just the guy
>we need an blonde actress with a mans voice past her prime
>on it
>He's available sir
>>64302851
As a /tv/ meme connoisseur it worries me that you do not know about the margot robbie has a fridge body meme. Please work on becoming more familiar with /tv/ culture.
>>64275066
>teh Rei is a normie slag
NO...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
>>64303063
sorry. is there a /tv/ meme wiki or subreddit i can use to catch up on all the latest memes
>>64303068
She's British? What do you expect? All the classy and talented British Actresses are all in their 80s now.
At least he's not a fucking cuck like Brad married to that skeleton
>>64275181
She's adorable :33
>>64275834
He literally just does movies for weed money
>need a guy who can pull off being a narcissistic career politician, but I can only pay them with a gift card to Men's Warehouse.
>say no more.
>>64300613
looks perfectly normal to me.
>>64286286
wtf her feet look like british teeth
la primera regla del club de la pelea es " no hables de club de la lucha "
>>64302710
That doesn't look anything like Eddie Redmayne!
>"Get me David Spade, Rob Schneider, Kevin James and Chris Rock on the line! They're not gonna believe the idea I've got this time"
>>64274857
even his facial expression screams JUST
>>64275181
Best grill
>"We need a bottom of the barrel, flat, dull, but most importantly, unpaid extra for this shoot we are doing."
>"Say no more, he's waiting right outside trying to get his dollar out of a vending machine."
>"Uhh, was there any other option?"
>>64302814
LOL
>>64302710
that's not meryl streep
>we need an abomination against god, but we blew our cgi budget
>say no more
>>64303063
One person desperately posting it again and again doesn't make it a meme.
>>64274744
...
>>64276342
hey, he's a goddamn national treasure.
>>64295627
John Adams actually pretty good senpai
>>64281385
Good joke.
>>64302814
>We need someone to play a monster, but we can't afford any make up or prosthetics.
>Done, next.
>>64302814
kekking
>>64274744
Benicio is actually Puerto Rican. He also is in the union I believe.
>>64302814
"what's wrong daddy?!"still would
/tv/ reccomend me some young actresses, who are also good or ok looking
>>64306154
Should've been a pic of Ron Perlman, m8.
>>64305951
yes, I guess that's why she cries on twitter about fridge posting.
Must be one guy
>>64305794
I cant tell if that is shooped or not
>>64306312
Drop me a link f.am.
>we need a guy that we can kill halfway the film
>I know a guy
>>64306406
he should play enigmatic detective Manny Pardo t b h
>>64275769
>meme
why does everything have to be a meme with you kids?
>>64304288
THE GREATEST HUG
![Angelina_Jolie_2_June_2014_(cropped)[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/3IkxsPV.jpg "Angelina_Jolie_2_June_2014_(cropped)[1].jpg")
>we need to cast a strong female character but we don't want to be bothered to actually develop her character to be strong
>I see what you mean
>>64302710
I'd like to get my sides back please thank you
>>64276105
Royal Albert Hall
>>64276105
punching smoke
murrikans, I have the hobby of translating shit into spanish and I can't for the life of me understand what the fuck is gosling saying here
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0xGEXyq5XmO
something you don't sound dumb but come on
context: the big short
>We need a desperate beta guy to make Brad Pitt to look even cooler in most of his scenes, a pure contrast character.
>I've got just the guy, sir, his brother told him to camp outside the studio for the last 2 days and beg for parts.
![zeljkoivanek11[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/2OvfKx8.jpg "zeljkoivanek11[1].jpg")
>we need someone to play this shady politician who is secretly part of the conspiracy
>there's only one option
>>64306627
"Yeah, you got a sound byte you repeat so you don't sound dumb, but come on."
I don't think you have any business translating anything to anything—not even as a hobby.
>we need the biggest whore possible
>op's mom's already on the casting couch, sir
>>64300613
it's fine, he's just a nigger
did someone ask for a doctor?
>>64306716
dude don't be mean, sometimes you just don't understand something because it's too trimmed.
>>64275181
what is she wearing wtf
and that expression
thats autism
![MV5BMTQwMjAwNzI0M15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwOTY1MTMyOQ@@._V1_UY317_CR22,0,214,317_AL_[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/yEJkHVF.jpg "MV5BMTQwMjAwNzI0M15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwOTY1MTMyOQ@@._V1_UY317_CR22,0,214,317_AL_[1].jpg")
>damn, this script is so bland, especially for a comedy movie
>should we re-write it?
>nah, just let me make a call to that guy who makes those funny faces
>>64306716
alright what about this one?
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1Ih3C0L9dgo
"bear stearns was in a death spiral and the fed ??? at sail"
>We can only pay them with food
>>64274857
>Dr. Pavel, I'm Alimony.
>>64306519
She is absolutely fucking gorgeous though
I'de love to just have a long flirty conversation with her
