How many times do you think Yoda masturbated while living alone on Dagobah?
How does he even reach his Yoda cock?
Does he have to do Jedi flips to wank himself off?
Did Obi-Wan's ghost sometimes watch him?
He's 800 years old, he finds that kind of pleasure disgusting, filthy and unworthy of his time.
>>64176298
whereas maz kanata is 1000 years old and loves her some wookie cock
>>64176378
Maz is a whore slut, don't compare her to Master Yoda
>not using the force to fap
>>64176563
What happens when you force too hard, huh? What happens when you force your cock right off that little green body of yours? Yoda didn't use the force, he found some frogs or something to fuck. Yoda loved anal.
>>64176378
She said it herself, she's no Jedi. She's tainted by the pleasures of the flesh
Hard to fap when you can have Force ghosts spontaneously appear and want to chat. Why do you think he went crazy on Dagobah?
>>64176240
Most important there here, desu.
He was so happy when luke came to the planet.
>>64176240
>>64176645
my sides
>>64176240
wew lewdlad
>>64176645
Yeah, he could lift spaceships out of swamps with ease, imagine if he got too excited and ended up ripping off his Yoda cock.
Where did he shit too?
He was used to civilised life back in the Jedi city but now lived in a mud hut in a swamp.
Do you think he ever went into that Vader tree to take shits and piss off the Luke Darth Vader ghost that lived in there?
>>64176760
He would force shit and send his turds rocketing into hyperspace.
>>64176760
yoda a seasoned master of self suck jedi banzai technique can easily perform an auto fellatio and use his hirohito jedi master cum blast to spray his wrinkly self gay face with green slimy yoda cum from his girthy yoda chode. allegedly mace windu would pay to be instructed in this ancient practice and studied yodas self suck humiliation for years; sexy nugger co
are we witnessing the birth of an epic new meme?
>>64176240
http://www.theonion.com/blogpost/dont-tell-me-youve-never-wondered-what-yodas-penis-10695
I have always wondered the same about Chewbacca.
Does he wank off like a human or does he just lick his dick in front of guests like my dog does?
I wonder in what ways you could use the force to get yourself off.
You could use it on a sex doll and make it move like a real woman for instance.
>>64176298
>>64176701
>tainted by pleasures of the flesh
Kill yourself you prudish fuck!
>>64176240
>implying his species even have "cocks"
[citation needed]
>>64176378
the wookie thing was a joke man.
The dialogue was like this:
Maz: Where is my boyfriend? (As she approaches Han, obviously referring to him)
Han: Chewie is outside (Deflecting her approach)
Maz: I love that wookie (An attempt at a rebuttal)
>>64176240
D-do you think he ever rubbed one out to Luke?
>>64177908
>implying rubbing Yoda wasn't one of Luke's training lessons
>>64177908
I think he had a bus load of clones sent over from Kamino and would just order more when he had force fucked them all to death.
>>64176240
>How many times do you think Yoda masturbated while living alone on Dagobah?
Zero. Force blowjob! Eeeeeeeee-he-he-he-he-he-he!
>>64177969
This was why Yoda had deleted the clones from the archives?
Sex doesn't exist in Star Wars.
>>64176723
>>64178094
Yoda looks like he's enjoying himself a little too much.
>this thread
How many times do you think he raped Luke? With his superior force abilities, it would have been easy for him to render Luke unconscious or immobile. All I can imagine is Luke lying on the ground motionless while Yoda crawls all over him, penetrating all of his orifices with his little penis. Why do you think Luke started wearing black and acted all melancholic in RoTJ?
>>64179686
at least 50
why do you think he has the ptsd stare still
>>64179990
>>64177839
Why would she ask Han where Han is when he walks in the room
>>64180061
Yodas are hermaphroditic, self pollinating and lay eggs.
>>64180213
Yaddle is clearly female though
>>64180249
Did you see any boobs on it?
No, it's just a Yoda in drag.
>>64180118
It's the same as when parents say shit like, "Who's my special boy?" Obviously they're talking about their kid, but they phrase it rhetorically.
When you get old enough, you stop feeling the need to as much.
It's like your body knows you're too old for children. Why bother putting on the pressure?
When you're old, it just feels like each day melts into the next.
You're just waiting to die.
I pity Yoda for living 900 years.
The last 200 must have been painful. Each morning he awakes, he must have thought "I have to do this one more time".
I know you're all young, but once you pass 50, you start feeling Thanatos calling.
>>64180314
i want to die
> R2-D2 lets out a little trademark scream when he masturbates
> C3P0 just says 'Oh dear.'
>>64180283
>>64180345
That only means you're an adult.
If you're around 30, though, you still have time.
Go maximum Jew mode and get as much money.
Then take a few months off each year to travel.
You may not see the need but trust me when I say that location is tied heavily to emotion. New places means no emotions.
If you're always sad, then the places you see everyday drip with that sadness. New places means new emotions.
Also, foreign places have cheap whores. That's good.
>>64180463
>Then take a few months off each year to travel.
Just avoid Dagobah
>>64180506
them dagobahan whores tho
jungle planets have cheap bitches
>implying he didn't tap that sweet yaddle ass
>>64180586
That's his pangender son/daughter you sicko.
>>64180586
>>64180314
Yeah right. Old people are popping V-pills and bumping uglies any chance they get, in retirement homes.
As soon as these people pop a boner and find some vegetable oil, they're fucking like out-of-shape flesh rabbits.
>>64180824
>>64176240
Watch out with threads like this OP, the janitors are on fire tonight.
>>64181021
The desire to feel young is stronger than sexual desire.
They don't want to feel old.
That's the hardest feeling of all.
>>64181051
>They do it for free
>>64176240
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oOL8TRzmKxI
>>64181116
I get it's Christmas time and you're on some downpoint because of whatever inward evaluation you're doing. But spare us the bullshit faux insight and just spill your heart out on /r9k/ where people can jerk off to your hopelessness.
>>64180061
