If you were a director, what would your trademark be?
Mine would be the lead character running while wearing a snorricam rig.
Mine would be casting Samuel L. Jackson on every film.
Long single shot takes (or long takes that are made to look like single takes with CGI) for no apparent reason and offer nothing to the overall effect of the film other than to quell my own ego boosting mastabatory needs
>>64012057
My movies would take 12 years to make.
>>64012787
this. backstage in Birdman felt pretty real.
Ridiculously long POV sex scenes with A-list actresses
>>64012057
Only pleb directors use those kind of techniques.
The camera should be as still as possible.
>>64012057
Mine would be at least one character eating crabs legs in every flick
>>64012920
Ozu, go to sleep.
At one point in the movie one of the actors stares into a turned off television and I would film his reflection on the screen.
All my lead actresses would have a scene in which they suffer some kind of non-sexual distress which causes them to convulse and vocalize as if they were having an orgasm:
INTERIOR: Kitchen. HANNA is sitting down to eat a SALAD. Just as she is about to swallow the first bite, the vibrating phone in her skirt pocket goes off, startling her. She begins to choke.
HANNA: [gulrp. [*cough*] ungh. unnn. UNg!
Panic quickly sets in. Her body begins to convulse from acidosis and laryngeal spasm. Subvocalization rise in pitch toward squeals. Finally, as her eyes begin to roll back in her head, she throws herself against the corner of the countertop, self-inflicting a Heimlich maneuver, which causes her to expel a cherry tomato.
She falls to her knees:
HANNA: [gasp] Oh, god.
The banality of the crisis upon her, death is averted.
>cast myself as the main character
>cast hot women
>long as fuck sex scenes
>>64013307
If you're a successful director I'm pretty sure you can manage to fuck hot women/actresses without having to include that in a movie and pretend to be fucking them in front of a crew.
I'd put some creepy ayy lmao shit in the background or in the dark, without any explanation or attention from characters to it
>>64013259
After I get away with about five of these, Kurt Loder and Armand White would finally notice, write it up, and I'd have to quit because every actress in Hollywood would be looking for the "fake orgasm" scene in my scripts. Those five scenes would become underground film school classics that everyone wishes they would have thought of, and my films develop a cult following even though the only reason the get watched is for the fake orgasm scenes.
Hidden dildos.
My movies would have five Acts.
>>64012057
Gratuitous male nudity
>>64012057
i would have every maincharacter taking a dump in every film i make. following them into the toilet seeing them sitting. farting. shitting. wiping. i wouldnt be too graphic but it would let the audience really connect to a new degree because everybody shits every day. yet all movies are shitless. this is unnatural. iam all about shit realism. shitting is the emancipation of humanity towards the illusion of a shitless society
>>64012869
Top Kek
>>64012787
>not enjoying a fun intro
I'd shove some kind of reference to the opening scene of The Dark Knight Rises into every movie I make
Whether there's a scene framed just like CIA and his friends in front of the plane, or a line from the scene, or even someone watching the "You're a big guy/For you" exchange on a TV
>>64012920
This, a wobbly or quick cutting camera is the worst thing to ever happen to film
assless chaps
>>64013259
write another scene
>>64014848
i guarantee you someone is going to actually do this.
just wait 10-15 years, it'll be the most worthwhile for you in human history
>>64014848
>>64015388
I actually want to do this, like making some characters be dress like CIA or doing his pose. Along putting weird images of planes in the background that are there for a second and later are gone.
>>64014848
I've daydreamed of being a director and putting Bane/CIA references in my movies.
I should kill myself.
>>64013307
go to bed Wiseau
>>64015974
Holy shit I thought I was the only one
>>64013259
Post more man, i like this.
>>64015974
Don't do it man, we need /tv/ to save cinema, and we need you.
I actually sit and think about this more often than I should. I should decide on a few.
>>64015916
I wanna make a movie that occasionally slips in individual frames of the DKR opening
Not too many, maybe just one or two, but at the very least it'd be enough to make sure people pay attention during my extremely deep art classics
I'd always have one of the main male actors wear the same clothes as CIA in a scene or two. I'd always find an excuse to have them wear it.
>>64012057
mine would befeet
Some kind of purple lighting that appears in a scene.
You know how Errol Morris has the Interrotron?
Well, I'll use a device called the Cockotron where an actor, while being filmes, will look at a video display of my big fat cock.
In truth, directorial trademarks (not to be confused with overall style or themes) are overrated and become in-jokes and pandering before too long.
