lets try to be nice to each other just this one time
Luke isVader's son
>>63475730
Fuck off Yank. You love spoiling shit when you're in the position to
what are hastags?
>>63475730
>mfw shitposting in the theater
>>63475777
Time Traveling French Canadian Robots from the 80s.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdQ8V9--KaI
I will delete 4chan from my bookmarks next week.
>>63475828
You'll still come here though. You know it, I know it, everyone knows it.
As soon as I'll leave the theatre I will start shitposting like never before
>>63475852
Yeah I know right?
Anyway, got my tickets for the 19th, I can survive without you faggots for 2 days.
>>63475822
That's Astor man, not hashtag.
He taught me to not play in an abandonned factory in a Matrix-like future, I owe him my life, so have a little respect
Does anyone have a good filter list to avoid the coming star wars shitposting onslaught?? I dont care about spoilers.
>>656376106
I SWEAR IF ANY OF YOU FUCKERS COME INTO /V/ I WILL CRY
Finn dies
Ford dies
>>63475753
Snape kills Han.
>>63475730
THERE WILL BE TRAGEDY
THERE WILL BE COMEDY
THERE WILL BE ACTION
CHARACTERS WILL DIE, MAIN, SUPPORTING AND MINOR
THERE WILL BE HIGH SPEED SPACE BATTLES AND CHASES
THERE WILL BE LIGHTSABER BATTLES BETWEEN THE JEDI AND THE SITH
YOU'RE GOING TO CUM IN YOUR PANTS EVERY MINUTE OF IT
There, movie spoiled.
>>63475730
Why do you care? The mods will shut every sw spoiler thread, otherwise our new japanese overlord won't see those good Disney shekels
>>63475730
Why? Cause it's gender politics might surprise you?
>>63475730
ok :^)
Han dies by Kylo Ren's hands, in a lame I am your father callback, Rey is Luke's daughter. Also the movie is shit.
here you go, apart from what is already known
leia is searching for an ancient sith temple for a weapon to destroy the first order. needs lukes help, sends poe to find luke.
korr tells them where is luke and dies.
heroes wanna go to luke, but are attacked by pirates. go to maz's planet as prisoners, maz recognizes han and frees them (maz is a jawa btw)
maz gives insight: luke built a jedi temple, earlier and trained kylo but mysterious knights of ren killed everybody and kidnapped the boy
knights of ren revealed to be an order of pinocchios, basically androids that vader built in the past
snokes origin and role not really explained, most of the time dude just chills in a lava cave around many crystals on the first order planet. he's reptilian-looking, maybe a little bit like plagueis but def not plagueis. he's a "guardian" of the sith or whatever
then - leia reveals that there are 'twin' temples and you need to control both to have access to the weapon. luke, in solitude, defends one of those temples.
it becomes pretty clear than first order has already captured the second temple.
a fight ensues, hux, despite what snokes says, gives an order to turn on the weapon. failure, kylo kills hux, the sky turns red, the whole planet literally burns down, the ice melts, its true nature is revealed, the whole planet is a weapon.
han doesn't die.
hux dies
finn loses hand
poe ded
maz kanata ded
cheers
lol ok
>>63475795
Enjoy your Amerishoots
>>63477657
fck u ashoe
>>63477657
needs to add that he is killed by his son kylo ren honestly
Have my ticket for next week (December 16)
Sometimes it feels good to be French
>>63477745
This
>>63475873
Same t.b.h.
>>63477768
thanks
>>63477730
>he thinks word filtering will save him
welcome to the chinese image board
>>63475730
I'll watch the movie for FREE at the movie theater december 16, I will spam /tv/ with spoilers about star wars 7 probably in real time, and then all the time the next few days (from work as well)
I will spoil also on the other boards just to be sure.
there is no way this movie is not going to be spoiled... no fucking way, not on MY watch
>>63475730
First thing I will do when I go see it is post all spoilers in here.
I'm completly serious.
Even bought a tripcode for that very reason.
>>63478299
You're doing Satan's work, anon.
Do I need to watch the old Star Wars before watching this? Might just read wiki to save time
>>63478299
Thank you brother.
>>63475908
Kylo kills Hand Solo
Snoke is plaguis
Rey is the Jei, Finn obviously isnt
>>63478405
Most people have already predicted that.
>>63475730
Here's a crazy concept, stay the fuck off any board that may spoil something till you see said something. Or is your life really that pathetic you can't wait a week or so?
I can only hope the OP is intentionally trying to get people to spoil star wars. I really, really don't want to believe there's a marketing executive sufficiently braindead to believe this level of condescension in marketing isn't going to backfire hilariously.
>>63478520
The disney shills are spamming similar shit everywhere they can. Because they need as many asses in seats as possible for as long as possible to feel like they can revitalize the franchise.
>>63478570
The studio has put out fake spoilers as a means of misdirection and to confuse those who wish to ruin the movie.
>>63478611
Which will be irrelevant once camrips start hitting the internet.
>>63478734
and that's after people see it during official release day.
Anyone who sees it beyond the 18th is fucked. People on the street will be talking spoilers.
>>63478611
Is that what they did for attack and revenge as well or are you too young to remember that?
>>63478611
This is true. Sad part is the fake spoilz all sound better than what I think will happen.
So has the plot been leaked yet?
>>63478797
>This is true.
Do you have proof Disney shill?
>>63478816
It's A New Hope revamped and modernized sprinkled with Empire, Return of the Jedi moments, overladen with Disney-esque and flick elements.
You're welcome.
>>63477761
Tu le sais ;)
It always does to be quite honest.
>>63478299
God speed, Anon.
>>63478816
yes, it's a remake of Nutrek 1 and Nutrek 2
>>63478832
Yeah. Got fired recently. Knew too much. Gag order would destroy me in court. I know it's memed to death but it's distractingly similar to 09 Star Trek. I think it will get the same reception. Just enjoy the Internet for the next two weeks.
All these SJW blogs and bull shit articles leading up to it pale in comparison to what the Internet will be like once this stupid unnecessary entry comes out. I'm pretty sure normies will "like it" the same way they liked Jurassic world. But the butt hurt from fan boys and the response from SJW force might just upset the whole of the Internet.
I'll just say it now. I don't think anyone will believe me- but Boyega really is the most enjoyable character.
>Inb4 I have succumbed to the kuke side.
He's just gets the best parts and is the cipher for the audience to relate to.
Merledies
>>63475730
I hope it got spolied in the same fucking night of the premiere, fuck dammit fucking manchildren cunts, what do you wanna do? Suicide if you know the end?
go fuck yourselfs fucking idiots.
>>63478917
Apart from when your capital city gets fucked up by sand niggers
>>63478981
Post your proof pleb
The leaks have trailers and teasers to back them and you just have your pr script
>>63478981
>I know it's memed to death but it's distractingly similar to 09 Star Trek. I think it will get the same reception.
So it's just as I predicted. A 6.5-7/10 film that will please most people, but won't be groundbreaking.
Fucking JJ.
It sounds also that SJWs will be upset? I thought this film would be hailed as "progressive"?
I hate this shit, it's nobodies responsibility other than your own to avoid getting spoiled. If I get spoiled on it before watching it, like has happened to me on many other films, it's no fault but my own and I won't bitch to anyone about it.
>>63478611
so either the spoilers are real and disney shills are trying to discredit them or the spoilers are faked by disney shills...
either way, who cares? How can you expect anyone to care?
>>63477296
>maz is a jawa
I really don't think JJ will mess with existing lore revealing what a jawa looks like under the robes. Star Wars autists will cut their dicks off and send them to JJ in protest
>Poe dies
Isaac is the only good newcomer to the series, besides Serkis, so I don't see them doing this. Or at least I hope they don't
>>63479094
It's a mix of both.
>>63479042
what leaks? post a link
>>63475730
>Don't spoil star wars
Didn't Lucas already do that with the prequels anyway?
>>63478299
I salute you and tip my fedora in your general direction good sir
>>63476507
hello reddit. billionaire is brand newwwwwwwww everything eid adoe dis vbrand newwwwww now aiam al triping on that asfadnac efleore asfofef . . .. . . .. . flecd cegeofe ewih nvoie floe flec ahys sjofrpe elrowo
>>63475730
Luke actually died, Hamill's character in VII is really Luuuke
>>63479114
Again, who cares?
Marketers and trolls alike don't seem to realize when its this clear they're play both sides against the middle like this, people lose all interest in the product/conflict.
No one sane has high hopes for this movie.
>>63479168
>No one sane has high hopes for this movie.
That's just you.
>>63479160
But not Luuuuuke?
>>63479199
no that would just be silly
>>63475730
Get fucked, stay off the computer if this meaningless bullshit means anything to you.
>>63475730
lol reddit
did everyone forget that 4chan spoiled harry potter books? SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDore
>>63479197
Prove wrong.You can't
>>63479261
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4x_WUb68RQo
>>63479042
I literally have no proof. I don't even get my pay stubs or w4s until after the movie came out. I got to see an early screening without all the digital finalized effects.
>>63479061
Yes it is rather progressive. But it's pandering as fuck. It's a little crazy. I think people didn't notice this in trek because it's always had a multi cultured cast. JJ tries to re do this effect. The articles will likely be about the backlash from fans and die hands not liking it. Imagine the boyega backlash but on steroids and pcp and meth. Every article will stack on the one before it. Plus there are a few "hurr durr this is why men are no good at running the Galaxy XD" bits that I can only hope got trimmed out.
Can't prove anything and for that I accept that I am a forever faggot. I just really wish I didn't agree to even be a part of the movie. There's no fun in it if you can't even tell anyone you are working on it. Everyone thinks I've been working on some Jim Carey bull shit movie or something. It's whatever. Lesson learned.
>>63479261
... yea, that didn't start on 4chan. We still had /l/ when half-blood prince came out.
>>63475730
I've already spoiled myself with this movie.
I kind of feel terrible about it, but I can never let things surprise me. I can't remember the last time I went into a big budget movie without first finding out all the twists.
>>63479078
hello reddit!
>>63479284
If you are legitamite then I'm gonna be pissed seeing this.
Please tell us how you would rank it among the six star wars episodes before it?
>>63475730
yea right it's getting close to the time where i have to avoid the internet until I watch it
>>63479355
Exactly what about taking personal responsibility and not being a whiny bitch is Reddit? If anything asking for other people to avoid spoiling shit for you and making it a fucking facebook event is the sort of hugbox shit Reddit does.
I hate how everything about this movie except the Plagueis stuff (if its real) feels like awful uninspired fanart that rips off ANH.
>>63477296
sources? Most of that is new. Maz is a jawa? 2 temples? and lol, knights are robots yeah right try again.
I remember someone spoiled the ending of Red Dead Redemption for me on fucking /fit/ before.
Gonna have to ditch the whole site for a few weeks Tbh lads.
>>63479563
why? the spoilers for this are things you already know are going to happen
>>63475730
>Caring about spoilers for a children's movie
>>63479405
Before this comes out I woulda said
5>4>6 then 3>1>2 just like everyone else. But then again I'm not the most fond of 6 so I'd say- and that's with finished effects it's probably on par with 6. But very slightly less so. There's not a lot of weight to it. There is a doomsday scenario in the final act but I didn't care. I kind of wanted the First Order to win by that point.
It's hard to be mad about it because it's just as serviceable as it is disappointing.
Just my opinions here:
Surprising good elements-
-Hux is based as fuck. He's just good at being bad. Pol will love him.
-Boyega is the most relatable and feels like the viewer character. People act very Star Warsy around him and he gets some good comedic bits where "you white people are crazy" punchlines actually land.
>Poe is not in it as much as you like but when he is he does move the plot forward.
>Boyega gets the best scene in the movie.
Surprisingly bad/made me sad:
>they treat Rey like she's really special the whole movie but it just doesn't land. She's cocky when she fights but she doesn't fight anyone cool. That actually still goes to boyega.
>Ren is a terrible villain. Up until he finally takes his mask off. (Props to Adam Driver for keeping the mask on for 95% of his scenes). He's a bit of a piss baby so it's satisfying to see the Finn V Ren fight.
>Worstly it's Han Solo. This is pretty unforgivable. You can tell JJ was just playing with his action figures here. Ford is just too old. I'm not mad at him but he's really just being Old Man Ford and not Solo. It's an indulgence they didn't need and it's just JJ jerking off in front of us. He should have only been in it the same amount of time as Leia. Who I can confirm is called Queen and then she corrects Finn to say "General". I winced.
>>63479787
baloney. too vague, easy to fake.
Describe Snoke.
>>63475795
>>63475916
Hehe . . . meme
>>63479947
He's not referred to as Snoke. He's in it about as much as palpating is in Empire. He's being set up as a major villain for one of the characters in 8+9. Ren is his representative. It's kinda established that Ren doesn't even like him and will face him in 8 or 9.
His presence feels like it is merely to sell action figures and build hype. Similar to thanos in MCU
You want to fight spoilers?
You need to dilute any actual spoilers with tonnes of fake spoilers. If everyone plays along with this game, the real ones would be indistinguishable
>>63480019
You did not describe him at all. Height, weight, color, sound, location, anything . Just a random guess at how much he's in the films.
Nice try. Even with Palps in ESB you coulda said he had a dark robe with big eyes but looked mostly human.
Will accept no backpedaling. You are full of poo.
CAMRIP SCREENCAPS ARE OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DARTH JARJAR IS REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HE WAS BEHIND ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>63480007
I admire your persistence
>>63480193
probably set up on a script to search for star wars threads and post.
>>63480184
I kindly suggest you return to reddit.
>>63480150
You do know he's a cgi character right?
Like I said I watched a version without finished effects. So yes, he is in a robe. And you only see him in hologram video phone thingies on the star destroyer.
As far as facial appearance, he is supposed to look like that art from the children's book. But he's in such a small part it's pretty inconsequential for now.
>Two days vip advanced tickets
Go fuck yourselves
Who /vip/ here?
>>63475730
You better stay off the internet or you will be fucked.
>>63480236
Probably, but that is still way more effort than I would actually give.
>/tv/ will literally be memeing about thier favorite hit movie star wars for the entire month plus years to come like they do with tdkr
god this board is so pleb
>>63480296
Like I said, here's the backpedal of extra info. Not believing a word.
Would have believed if, in first, post, you said he was atop a tall dais or pedestal, as that is how Serkis and others have described shooting the Snoke scene.
Also, you could have described his voice. Again, not believing you. Also you could have put a single quote in somewhere, but nope. Not from a single charater. You read the same spoiler PDF everybody else did and made up some details.
>>63480408
Ok. Why does it matter how much effort they did vs. your willing effort?
>>63480471
>be anon
>hate popular things because they are popular
>also hate hipsters
>does not irony
>>63480484
That wasn't me who described the dais or whatever. You're confused and mixing up your shit posters. I didn't mention smoke until I was asked to describe snoke. I haven't back pedaled on anything. Idiot.
>>63480653
I think he just doesn't want you plebeian star wars tourists here 2bh
>>63480669
Right. Serkis mentioned the dias as being a big part of the snoke scene. when asked to describe snoke you instead made some guesses as to how much he's in the film. When called out on it you made some guesses about snoke. None of them included anything disprovable, even after seeing the movie.
You're a poor bluff. I've only replied to you.
>>63480736
lol. so posting in the star wars thread will help make the star wars thread go away.
>how24chanpls
>bringbackSAGEPOST
>>63480504
It's hypothetical. I was just admiring his autistic commitment to shitposting
>>63480997
No need to admire, you're doing a good job all on your own.
>>63481018
Thanks for your support
Luke is the son of that black guy.
RACEMIXERS GET OUT REEEEE
Han's son betrays the rebels, and they have to decide between killing him or nuking Boston
>>63481038
Always up to help the less functional.
>>63481063
fuck
>>63480786
No Dias scene. Can confirm. You can't.
>>63477296
Works for me
>>63481584
yes I can
When do you think we'll be seeing confirmed leaks? I'm seeing the movie on the 16th. Do you think Disney will come after me if I live tweet the movie?
>>63483525
no
be sure to put it in a cincise, copypasta form so that we can spread the fire.
