Predictions will be screencapped and archived to be posted after the movie comes out
>>63444617
Will outgross Avatar.
>>63444617
>a literal memesaber
100% guarantee Luke says "Rey, I am your father"
>>63444692
>implying Luke isn't kylo ren
Finn dies in a battle with Kylo Ren
Baneposting will be replaced by something even better.
>>63444617
Finn is Rey's mother.
>>63444763
>"Rey, I am your father. Also, I am Luke"
-Kylo Ren
Will be an enormous piece of shit and the biggest disappointment in the history of humanity.
Rey is Rey's mother.
>>63444893
I'm genuinely excited
>>63444617
Kylo ren kills his father han solo
>>63444831
it's already replaced, oldfag
kylo is han and leia's son
rey is luke's daughter
kylo turns to the light over the course of 7-8-9
rey turns to the dark over the course of 7-8-9
snoke is not any based EU character but just a new shitty character they completely made up
han solo dies
kylo can see the history of force artifacts by touching them, hence his being a "relic hunter", and searching for luke's babykiller
>>63444617
The movie ends with the party (Rey and whomever is/are with her) finding the remnants of what used to be some important Jedi place that they've been looking for and is infused with the force that they enter using a giant aztecesque staircase inside a location so sheltered it might as well be an interior.
Screencap this.
JJ Abrams is John Boyega's father.
Audiences will have to shield their eyes from all the lens flares.
There will be a different cut for the Chinese market, where Boyega will have less screentime.
>>63444617
Everybody no longer bothers The First Order and just instead moves to some backwater shit hole of a planet to become eye surgeons, using the force to gravitate and the light sabers to give cheap but effect eye surgery on patients.
>>63444617
Hehe.. meme
Bland and unobjectionable, preying on manchild nostalgia. Camrip will get posted late on December 15th or early December 16th. /tv/ shitstorm.
Poe-Finn-Rey love triangle, Poe "wins."
Rey is Han and Leia's daughter.
Kylo is Luke's padawan who was like a son to him.
Han dies in touching scene where he tells Chewie to always take care of Rey.
Luke revealed at the end as Rey and Poe bring Finn to train with him.
Lightsabers will be in the movie.
>>63447829
Hmm, I'm skeptical about this.
>>63445072
sounds good actually
>>63444909
but this is not episode I anon
It'll be a legitimately good addition to the series, landing in the rankings as followed:
V > IV > VII > III > VI > II > I
Kylo is Han and Leia's son.
Only romance subplot is Han/Leia meeting when they haven't seen each other in years because the fall of their son to the dark side stressed and ultimately broke their marriage (Finn and Rey are platonic).
Rey is Luke's daughter.
Han gets killed by Kylo Ren.
Snoke is Plagueis.
>>63444634
This
Isn't the predominate theory that it will be a shot for shot remake of New Hope?
>>63445227
don't forget added <asian actor> scenes
Luke is evil, but he is not snoke.
Rey becomes his apprentice.
Kylo Ren turns back to the light side over the 3 movies and redeems Rey, his sister. Yes they are the Solo Twins.
Snoke dies like a bitch in Episode VIII
All the people complaining "it's only TIEs and X-Wings" will be happy to see a hangar full of new experimental rebel fighters in the background. They're "not ready yet" and will show up in the next movies, but toys of them will be made beforehand.
BB-8 at some point has comedic difficulty moving on an escalator or treadmill-like surface
Spinning remains a good trick. Captain Phasma will spin in her ship. Rey will spin constantly, no less than a grand total of 23 times in the film. This is mostly because of her use of a staff, but spinning is spinning.
One of the pilots will say "there's too many of them" or some variation, but it will be a TIE pilot instead of a rebel
>INSIDE SCOOP - THE HOTTEST MEME SCENE IN TFA
When Kylo kills Han he will remove his mask first. Adam Driver is much taller than Harrison Ford and they will be standing next to eachother in a wide shot. This will lead to such innovative memes as
>If I take my mask off, will you die?
and
>You're a big Kylo
86% on Rotten Tomatoes, outgrosses Avatar but only barely
>>63444617
How can people be upset about Han dying if he's wanted to be dead since Empire? He doesn't give a fuck about your fan wankery over his character.
>people will unironically be upset about this.
>>63445856
>Poe-Finn-Rey love triangle, Poe "wins."
Explain.
>>63448620
Finn dies in Episode VIII so Poe wins by default
>>63448761
>"It is as I feared... The force has awakened"
Time travel is going to play a huge role on this.
Rey is going to end up getting knocked up by booga boo, leading he'll to her desperately searching for her father to train her how to 'force abort'.
Like explains force abortion was outlawed long ago by the Jedi temple,but instead he could teach her to open a rift in the force which could take her back to a time where abortions were legal.
Unknown to rey, luke is actually disowning her and sending her back several decades to his shit planet of tatooine where she will live a miserable life.
Once she arrives, she recalls her father's instructions to seek out watto the kind for help. Now heavy with child, watto takes poor rey and makes her his servant thinking he could get a second slave for free once the baby was born. He rebrands her as Schmi but allows her to keep her last name. Upon child birth, a fluke accident in the force let the baby keep his mother's superior white skinned genes. Ever thankful, Schmi and her son Anakin are forced to live as slaves for the rest of their lives to the flying space kike.
Screencap for when the movie comes out pls
Luke will say
>Rey, I am your father
>>63448966
Execute em
>>63448620
Poe + Rey just like Han + Leia.
Boyega is just smoke screen, middle america isn't going for a black white interracial relationship
>>63448518
cap this
Why is everyone saying she's Luke's daughter now instead of Han and Leia's?
>>63444617
It will not be the highest grossing opening of December let alone all time.
