>Leonardo DiCaprio reportedly gets raped by a bear twice in his new film The Revenant
>In a scene early in the film, DiCaprio's character Hugh Glass is viciously attacked by a bear who then flips him over on his back and proceeds to molest him.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3341375/Leonardo-DiCaprio-raped-bear-TWICE-new-film-Revenant-actor-looks-poised-finally-achieve-Oscar-glory.html
>they HAVE to give me the oscar this time
>>63222238
>the bear is the literal embodiment of patriarchy
BRAVO
R
A
V
O
>>63222238
One bear rape = nomination
Two bear rapes = Win
Is this finally his year?
>dailyfail citing drudge as a source
where did it all go so wrong
>>63222325
probably
>>63222238
So Bridger and Fitzgerald were, respectively, 19 and 23 years old at the time of the incident. Which one is the old as fuck looking Tom Hardy playing?
>>63222279
>>63222238
>Leonardo DiCaprio gets raped by a CGI bear, twice.
Just think about that for a minute.
>>63222359
I bet you have bbc3 running in the background
>>63223890
so do you think a guy in a greensuit fondola leo for realism
BIG
>>63222238
oh sweet jesus please be true!
>>63224025
Christ, what horrible writing.
>>63222238
>Leonardo DiCaprio reportedly gets raped by a bear twice in his new film The Revenant
>In a scene early in the film, DiCaprio's character Hugh Glass is viciously attacked by a bear who then flips him over on his back and proceeds to molest him.
>>63222238
daily reminder: listen to the episode of the dollop on hugh glass before the movie comes out
>>63224060
It's an Onion article. Mildly amusing.
>>63224025
>27 inch
BIG
>>63222238
Looks like Leo's getting the BBC (Big Bear Cock)
>>63224025
The writing is just the icing on the cake here.
hasa diga eebowai
Da burrrs
That soundsunbearable
>BBC
>Big Bear Cock
>>63225717
le well played carlos mane
le well done little hispanic kid who wears le blue sweater
>>63222238
Men can't be raped though
>>63224025
>Grin and bear it
>>63225717
What the fuck... Why is everything wrong? Between this and WARM DINGUS in Tortellini's new flick, I'm losing the desire to watch anything new. This is fucking retarded.
That's not beary nice.
>>63224025
>a pint of Barry's putrid ursine semen flooded his ruptured chest cavity
>>63222238
>Leonardo has to resort to bear rape in a desperate attempt for an oscar
absolute madman
>>63222317
So if the studio denies bear rape occurs, does that make them rape apologists?
>Bear is a transsexual ostricized by the other bears
>bear is the real victim
Bravo kikes.
FOTY
O
T
Y
>>63224025
>the unconscious bear was later destroyed
fucking hell
>yfw he doesn't get an Oscar
>>63224025
>Barry's 27-inch phallus, armed with guard hairs as sharp as red hot needles, shot through Gilks' rectum
>>63222238
> Studio DENIES Leonardo DiCaprio is 'raped twice by a bear in his new film The Revenant' in actor's latest bid for Oscar glory
good one OP!
>>63224025
>The lighter side
God bless the Onion
putrid ursine semen
>>63224025
fucking kek
> using animal rape to get an Oscar
That is offensive, son. Rape is a horrifing ordeal.
What the fuck?
>>63224839
>mfw I Ctrl+F'd burr as soon as I opened the thread
>>63222238
Apparent the second rape is much longer.
First rape:
>he is being mauled by a bear
>mid attack the bear gets confused by the bear skins he is wearing and stops biting him and starts fucking him instead
>dicaprio screams and fights but can't escape
>eventually the bear cums while letting loose a great roar and leaves dicaprio lying in a ditch
>he recovers enough hours later to drag himself away
Second rape;
>much later dicaprio encounters the bear again
>he screams and fires his rifle as the bear charges him but he misses
>the bear knocks him down and begins to bite, claw and maul him
>then, recognizing the scent of its former lover the bear stops it's attack
>it flips dicaprio over onto his belly and with one great paw tears his pants away
>dicaprio screams "No! Not again! Not like this" but the bear, slobbering with lust begins its violent assault
>the camera slowly pans back to the bears hips driving down with incredible force over and over and over again
>dicaprio begins to cry "Just kill me! Just kill m-" but is cut short as the bears monsterous paw moves over his face to silence his screams
>his mouth sealed by the leathery flesh of the paw the camera zooms in on the tortured eyes of dicaprio staring out helplessly between the great claws
>the camera then pans up to show the slobbering face of the beast roaring and grunting, it's savage eyes rolling in pleasure as it takes it's plunder
Give him the Oscar.
>>63230855
>>dicaprio screams "No! Not again! Not like this"
I'm dead
>>63230855
>the bear gets the Oscar over Dicaprio
>the bear in the film is a female
>>63222238
The bear is a metaphorical symbol for the Oscar committee
>DiCaprio also gets naked and sleeps inside a dead horse in one scene for warmth.
>>63224025
No way this is real. A bear killing/eating humans? Yeah that I can see
Bears raping humans? Why would they?
>>63231351
You big dummy.
