>tfw cinema charges $16.95 for two crab legs
>tfw butter sauce is an extra $5
>butter sauce
Jesus Christ America
>>63109017
>buying fucking crablegs at a movie theater
where the fuck do you live
>go to local cinema
>get shot before I can even order my crab legs
Every time
>>63109270
Ya who the fuck buys crab legs anymore? You're a pleb if you don't get the white truffles and caviar
>>63109270
What kind of shit cinema do you go to? Almost every one in my state sells crab legs.
It sucks that they search my bags at the local Regal now after the shootings
>at local cinema
>they run out of riot sheilds
>have to use the bullet proof vest like a fsg
Was devesasted desu
>The filet mignon doesn't come with complementary cabernet sauvignon
>tfw the water pressure in the cinema showers is very low
>>63109116
>americans
the french invented dipping lobster and crab in clarified butter chump
>Go to the shower stalls
>prep my valve
>people looking at each others dicks
>occasionally the people in there will jokingly make out with each other
>don't join in
>people say I'm a homophobe
>turn my shower on cold and hit me with wet towels
>push me in the girls locker room
>movie attendants just laugh
>my cinema crush says she'd never date me after that incident
>go to local kinomatographique ziggurat
>have to crawl through barbed wire mud pit while avoiding spot lights just to get to the ticket counter
>had to kick an elderly woman in the face to get ahead
>finally arrive at the booth
>perform the ticket ritual
>my incantations are off kilter
>banished for 2 weeks
>>63109017
>go to cinema
>don't have enough money for crab legs
>get kicked cause "no singles" policy
>tomorrow is penis inspection day
>>63109017
Why would you want that at a movie theater??
I just blew a massive fucking load
Why do r9k rejects spam here?
>>63109381
Wine is shit, grow a a palate.
>Go to local kino house
>Literally everyone is ordering crab legs now
>Oh well, I won't be that guy who dislikes them just because everyone else does
>Conveyor belt moving especially slow today
>My cousin, whom I brought to evade the no single policy, is getting restless
>Tell her to settle down or the cinema guards will kick us out
>FINALLY reach to cinema diner
>Order two trays of crab legs
>Everything going smoothly, even have that conditioner I like in the cinema shower
>Take seat to watch movie
>In order to reach the increased demand for crab legs, the theater skimped on the quality
>Mfw they probably weren't even king crab
>Mfw the the butter sauce was too watery
>Mfw the designated cinema shooter didn't even kill me
>>63109017
>tfw they kick you out because "no singles policy"
>forgot to clap at the end of the movie
>immediately sent to penis inspection booth
>failed
>not allowed back for 2 months and have to get daily penis inspections
>tfw no singles police inspect the theatre for lonely autists
I swear to god I can't even go outside alone anymore without being harassed.
>complementary beverage service does not include spirits
>yank the tablecloth and storm out of the theater
>manager comes by and offers me two free ticket vouchers that can't be used for new movies
Fucking America.
>>63109464
you left out the falcon, did you leave him at home that day, is the poor thing sick?
>forgot to wear socks
>use the hand dryer on the back of the seats to warm my feet
>cold air comes out
>>63109505
No he got banned because he started pecking and scratching during a group penis inspection
>find my seats at the local flicktorium
>can't see shit, smoke from cigars everywhere
>guy in a fucking top hat sits down in front of me
>>63109270
Their pretty popular at most non shithole theatres....
>have to pay extra for bringing in my companion mirror
>the chair ball keeps vibrating so I spill some of my marshmallow fluid
>the fire exit guardian keeps throwing me the evil eye
>the guy sitting next to me doesn't care about the movie and tried to steal my trident
>someone has left a big stain on the floor my clothes have absorbed massive amounts of liquid
going to the movies aint what it used to be....
>in cinema showers
>group of black guys come in and start making fun of me
>they steal my towel and clothes
>have no choice but to run out of the kino hoping I don't get spotted
>make a break for the emergency exit
>get tackled by security guard
>lose control of my bowels and shit all over my legs and the guard
>he starts beating me and even some of the people around join in
>pelted with empty crab leg shells as I walk out
>at the cinema
>its time for the mid movie dance recital
>been dreading this all day because I didn't practice at all
>after the croise devant we were supposed to entrechat quatre towards corner 3
>I went corner 2 instead
>afterwards the cutest girl in the room told me I have no ballon
>the Chad she was with performs a grand jeté and drags her away to fuck her
>everyone saw
>they two little kids behind me threw pieces of their beef wellington at the back of my head for the rest of the movie
>was too beta to tell them to stop
just fucking kill me
>>63109652
>theatre bull made me lock myself up
When did this become regulation?
>Head to local cinema
>Bring step son to avoid NSP
>Mfw when he scored better than me at the penis inspection
>>63109270
Me? I'd serve crab legs.
>>63109333
>>63109607
>look it up
>it's actually really common
>you weren't memeing
REEE I FEEL SO FUCKING CHEATED
>>63109017
Infected with the G-Virus, more like infected with the Feels-Virus
In all seriousness I spent like 40 dollars on a burger and fries, two drinks, and fish and chips at a theater all of it mediocre as fuck.
>>63109550
wearing just sandles without the socks is rough
>Trampling over the charred corpses of The Regurgitated ones I spot a cinema vendor located in a palace outpost on the other side of the marketplace
>I confidently walk up to the whore in the stand and try to exchange my sins for a couple of tickets
>She sells me the tickets but wont let me in unless I leave my dumbrella in the stand
>snickeringdrunklings.rod
>Well inside I notice that I'm the only one wearing fine-dine clothing
>I'm trying to find my seat but I trip and land on a designated meat space
>Everyone is pointing and laughing at me
>"MEATY MAN! MEATY MAN!"
>The collective room feeling makes my eyes start to boil
>They crowd keeps shouting and now the random frequency waves are slowly disassembling my brain at an unprecedented rate
>When life gets tough I tend to look for an escape but the room has already discombobulated and there's no way out
>Avengers: Age of Ultron starts playing and my body freezes up
>I stay a while and gather my thoughts
>>63109270
>he's not american
>>63109381
>not drinking a trappiste beer with your filet
ur fault t b h sinpie
>go to my favorite theater
>put on seatbelts
>they dont have calculators without integration
>frog thread
>nobody posts the one picture ive been looking for so i can save it
>go to cinema
>unable to silence the inter-dimensional chiming of the destiny siren so usher won't sell me my ticket
every. time.
>new gf's Dad owns theater
>go to movie one night
>get in free
>no towel charge in shower
>drop off pants to be pressed
>again, no charge
>gf takes me to private seating area
>usher brings us gyros, no charge
>offers to relace my falconer's glove
>no charge
>lights go down
>gf's hand goes right to my lap
>fucking pop the biggest boner
>she starts stroking it
>then leans over and knobs me
>cum buckets
>trailers end
>feature presentation begins
>it's a chick flick
>run out of theater
>run home
>no pants
>no falcon glove
>gf txts me we're broken up
>cry myself to sleep that night
What the fuck? I don't get these dank memes anymore
