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Anonymous
2015-11-24 05:29:47 Post No. 62993887
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Anonymous
2015-11-24 05:29:47
Post No. 62993887
[Report]
>want to see The Force Awakens in theaters
>book seats at only theater in town without No Singles Policy
>$2500 + tax + white privilege fee + tip
>arrive at theater two weeks in advance
>pass through security checkpoint
>they find suspicious lumps during the patdown but the xray and cavity search reveal it was just my 200+ pounds of fat rolls
>tip the security officers
>move on to mandatory privilege checkpoint
>I'm female and kind of poor so I fall just under the Maximum Privilege Rating
>permitted to move on to the showers
>guy behind me exceeds Maximum Privilege Rating, sirens start blaring in non-triggering feminist voice "RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE"
>ignore it, tip privilege checker and move on to the showers
>women's showers are full, have to use gender-neutral trans-inclusive showers
>strip down
>500lb+ pangenderqueer demilithosexual won't stop yelling at intersexed Down's Syndrome otherkin for stare raping xzor
>finish showering, tip showermates
>move on to concessions
>get double order of crab legs, extra-large bucket of tahini, and 64oz apple juice
>$300 + white privilege fee + tax + tip
>they're all cold
>whatever
>finally make my way to theater
>take my seat between the birdcage and the designated shooter
>two nan0b0is sit down next to me, one opens smuggled-in jar of peanut butter
>I am extremely allergic to peanuts
>die
>reincarnated as /tv/ shitposter
