>Attenborough: Here we see a fine specimen of ctenophora, engulfing its prey
>*footage of a jellyfish catching its prey*
>American narrator: THIS IS ONE SERVING OF JELLO YOU DON'T WANT TO MESS WITH, BECAUSE YOU DON'T EAT THIS JELLO, THIS JELLO EATS YOU
>*crash zooms of the jellyfish moving towards the prey, makes eagles screeches as it dives in, camera shakes everywhere, prey screams in fear like a human*
Explain this, Americans.
I normally find European anti-american sentiment boring and reactionary, but this is totally justified. Fix your awful nature programs you yank fucks.
>>62972685
It's so fucking true. I never understood why Americans do that. I guess their nature shows are for children? Adult Americans don't want to learn.
>>62972685
>Explain this, Americans.
We don't take television as serious as you. Shocking I know.
>>62972685
lmfoa'd
>he watches nature docs with narrators
![1419688705930[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/z6GjEk3.png "1419688705930[1].png")
>>62972775
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kP8Wv8x5TL0
>American nature shows
>watch episode one of The Hunt with voice work by Attenborough
>remember these threads
>while a mantis is eaten, they play both a high pitched "uh oh" and then a splat sound when the chameleon hooks it with its tongue
Explain this, OP.
>>62972685
>despite its impressive length the centipede is nimble navigator, and some can be highly venomous
>>62972775
>We don't take television as serious as you.
Do Americans take anything seriously?
>>62972840
>Nascar sounds
I'm fucking dying here
Attenborough:
>Dwarfed by the vast expanse of the open ocean, the biggest animal that has ever lived on our planet. A blue whale, 30m long and weighing over 200 tonnes. It's far bigger than even the biggest dinosaur. Its tongue weighs as much as an elephant, its heart is the size of a car and some of its blood vessels are so wide you could swim down them. Its tail alone is the width of a small aircraft's wings. Its streamlining, close to perfection, enables it to cruise at 20 knots. It's one of the fastest animals in the sea. The ocean's largest inhabitant feeds almost exclusively on one of the smallest krill, a crustacean just a few centimetres long. Gathered in a shoal, krill stain the sea red. A single blue whale in a day can consume 40 million of them. Despite the enormous size of blue whales we know very little about them. Their migration routes are still a mystery and we have no idea where they go to breed. They are a dramatic reminder of how much we still have to learn about the ocean and the creatures that live there. Our planet is a Blue Planet.
Pic related:
>OOGA BOOGA WHERE DA WHITE WOMEN AT?
>>62972858
Not really. Not until you crash an airplane into our buildings.
I don't even think it's because americans are dumb or anything, it's literally just because tv execs in the US are genuinely retarded.
UK TV >>> US TV (with the exception of HBO)
>>62972685
>whaa whaa why don't all people have their thing the way I do
There aren't even any real documentaries on the American mainstream tv channels, or at least there weren't when I was there. They only have "the 10 most deadliest animals" or "the 10 most poisonous predators", as well as "extreme fishing" or "duck dynasty", which is all as Op described. It's ridiculous and seems to only gather to the action greedy manchildren that americans are. These top 10 shows even extend into "top 10 most violent court fights". What confuses me the most when watching these shows is that they have "experts" commenting on every one of these things, but they are just some idiots they seemingly picked of the street with no more qualification to talk about these things other than having attended a 101 law class in college once or because they saw a courtroom from the inside once because their deadbeat child's father shot up a licor store. Fuck american tv.
>>62972840
those fucking sounds
>mantis moves its arm
>*SCHWING*
>>62972840
>Screaming sounds as the cockroach runs away
Fucking jesus
>>62972880
UK TV
>>Dwarfed by the vast expanse of the open ocean, the biggest animal that has ever lived on our planet. A blue whale, 30m long and weighing over 200 tonnes. It's far bigger than even the biggest dinosaur. Its tongue weighs as much as an elephant, its heart is the size of a car and some of its blood vessels are so wide you could swim down them. Its tail alone is the width of a small aircraft's wings. Its streamlining, close to perfection, enables it to cruise at 20 knots. It's one of the fastest animals in the sea. blablablahblahblah
European TV:
>...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQOBfbBUJgw
>>62972685
National Geographic's documentaries already were like that, now I imagine they'll become 10 times worse after the Murdoch acquisition
lol americans are stupid
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKWElUrTLMY
jesus christ
>UK David Attenborough
>tries to be reasonable
>focus is on the animals, less on the drama
>very little manipulation from sound track or tacky handholding; lets the audience decide what they think of things
>US David Attenborough
>makes pretty much no effort to be reasonable; jumps straight to treating them like the scum of the earth who should hurry up and kill themselves, and is always looking to pick a fight (clearly not due to a difference in attitude, like some people claim; some of the absolute dumbest, most selfish, most ridiculous arrogant and lazy animals from his shows are from UK documentaries, and he gives them far more respect than they deserve)
>BLEEP
>orchestra blaring in the background, trying to dictate what the audience should feel at any given scene
>feels like reality TV
Why are US David Attenborough documentaries so terrible?
>>62973160
>Finders keepers buddy
>yfw Americans have to deal with rats gnawing their ass
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0t2VPBF6Kp4
>>62972909
>Rare Bernards
Mah nigga
>>62973096
>Murdoch acquisition
Fuck, don't remind me about that
Who /Felix Rodriguez de la Fuente/ here?
https://youtu.be/xZxyP_Ditjg
>>62972858
Not really. Not until the next planned school shootings.
the truth is, and its a generalising statement but the average american just isnt that intelligent, like morrissey said, american tv is for children. they need bright colours and over the top tv to keep them entertained, tv is more serious in the uk
>>62972775
This explains so much.
>>62974314
American TV is based on keeping people's attention as much as possible, which means lots of flashing lights and quick cuts.
The BBC puts out 99% total garbage, but because they're not funded by popular opinion and ad breaks, they're capable of making actual shows.
>>62974360
well you got me to reply, well done
thats absolute shite and you know it, the quality of any bbc programme is 10 times better than american. just look at camera work and picture quality on the bbc, americans use hand held recorders or some shit because it looks real bad
i assume youre american? its only natural you are going to side with your own tv, but youre wrong and thats fact. american tv is childish and shit
>Watch UK version of The Chase
>4 chasers who are generally friendly and full of bant, would be mates with (except maybe Mark)
>presenter is lad-tier
>light hearted telly
>contestants are normal people
>watch US version of The Chase
>presenter is some blonde bimbo who deliberately cheats by asking chaser's questions slowly
>only 1 chaser, the worst 1, who is made out to be some massive villain
>questions have a bias towards USA when theres a british chaser
>completely over the top reactions to EVERYTHING
>shouting and screaming and high fives for getting a single question right
>really, really painful telly
why do americans do this?
>>62974387
I'm British, m8. 10 times the quality of an ADHD sufferer's wet dream is still total shite.
Stop watching fucking gameshows and Bargain Hunt.
>>62974360
fuck off, Americans make shows, the BBC makes television
>>62972840
>>62972991
And here I was expecting nudity... That's in my to watch list
>>62972840
Imagine this same TV show now focused to millenials
>Skrillex music
>Narrator explaining how some insects are homosexuals and how that's normal in the world
>Download this app to play as a Mantis
>HOLD UP ......SO THIS IS SOME KINDA OF ..... KILLA MANTIS
>>62974451
UK Deal or no Deal is unwatchable for me cause of all the reasons you stated about the US chase
Show could easily be 6 minutes long
>>62974662
kek
>>62973239
It's funny because rats are not native from americas, they came in European ships
>>62973160
I'm surprised they called "parting shot" and not "final bitch slap"
>>62972840
imagine it being your job to edit those sounds in
as an American I agree. I can't tell if American shows are meant for kids or what.
Hidden Kingdoms is GOAT
>>62972840
That was pretty cool. Not even mad.
>>62974662
>download app to play as a mantis
I laughed
>>62972840
It's actually real
>>62972685
God bless America
>>62972840
holy shit
>those lawn mower sounds when the centipede hunts the cockroach
>>62972775
>don't take television as serious as you
>clap to fucking shows
https://youtu.be/QOqphJSWaKg?list=WL&t=89
>>62974782
for scientific purpose i require the name of this female specimen old chap. Pic very related
To be fair, Planet Earth and Life in America just had different actors recing Attenbourough's narration.
And we used to have good nature shows, but the American population has embraced idiocy over intelligence.
I blame the Culture Wars of the 80s/90s, wherein American conservatives pandered to the lowest common denominator by bible thumping and decrying intelligence while putting ignorant shit kickers from middle America on a pedastal.
Your typical "dumb redneck conservative" stereotype is a recent phenomenon, spurred on by this media push. Conservative politicians used this base for most of the 90s, which is why most of your politicians during the time were moral police.
Luckily, the GOP seems to realize that this tactic was a bad idea (a democrat majority legislature during the bush years, then a democrat elected president, twice, and a black one to boot), and is switching gears to appeal to a more educated, intelligent voters.
Tl;Dr - american television wasnt always shit until media/politics began pandering to the lowest common denominator in the 90s-00s, but that's changing and in 20 years or so American media culture will have vastly improved
>>62977230
>Luckily, the GOP seems to realize that this tactic was a bad idea (a democrat majority legislature during the bush years, then a democrat elected president, twice, and a black one to boot), and is switching gears to appeal to a more educated, intelligent voters.
Trump completely destroys your theory. A fucking creationist is right behind him in the polls.
No, the GOP is dead set on killing itself and sitting out a generation at the executive level.
>>62972685
I have to have a middle ground.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ic9n_LKyOYk
>>62972824
>get rekt
>"Y-Y-YEAH WELL YOU'RE A FATTY!"
God DAMN son you got fucking destroyed. Your assbone's been shattered into a million little bitch shards and you'll be crying weenie tears until the end of time, by the looks of it.
This is easily the greatest doc the brits have ever made.
http://jihadology.net/2014/05/17/al-furqan-media-presents-a-new-video-message-from-the-islamic-state-of-iraq-and-al-sham-clanging-of-the-swords-part-4/
>>62977648
>her knickers will drop like a sack of bricks
![megalodonlogo[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/6qlDzDn.jpg "megalodonlogo[1].jpg")
Reminder that this aired on the "#1 nonfiction TV channel"
>>62977592
Not really. Trump is going to flounder some time next year and Carson (who enjoyed a bump for a bit) is sliding downwards particularly after it was revealed he knows jack shit on foreign policy.
Trump will go the way of Ron Paul. The rabid fanbase won't show up to the primaries, expect the end result of the 2016 GOP primaries to be Rubio or Cruz. Trump will stick around because of his massive ego, but despite hype he won't go anywhere.
At some point Rubio or Cruz (most likely Rubio) will challenge Trump to back up his assertions or call out his claims and that will be the end of Donald as a viable candidate. Meanwhile whoever calls him out gets a huge boost from middle america.
>>62978574
> shit that will never happen: the post
>>62972840
This centipede is a predator
>>62974667
Yep, Deal or no deal is garbage, but its a terrible idea for a show though
>>62972840
This shit is unwatchable.
