What the fuck did i just watch? no seriously, what the fuck?
i dont know where to start with this monstrosity of a flick. if it wasn't for the obvious faces and lightsabers it would just be the usual high budget flick with the thinking that fancy effects and explosions will make a 'movie' good. fucking wrong.
i couldnt tell if it was at the start, beginning or end due to the lack of structure and plot - infact im still struggling to see what the plot was? the whole thing dragged out to see some old fuck standing on the cliffs - greeeaat.
what really fucking me off was how they mocked the dark side to be a laughing stock. that pathetic joke making the clone troopers run away when kylo was throwing a tantrum.
-kylo was meant to be the evil sith boss but actually got KILLED by a girl using a lightsaber for the FIRST FUCKING TIME. the fucking dindu put up a good fight, they both have zero fucking knowledge in using one, let alone the force in general. what the fuck?
how can anyone possible criticise the prequels with pieces of liberal shit like this one? there were no characters in TFA with any presence, or something that made you think 'wow i like this guy'. the prequels had mace windu, anakin, obi wan, darth vader, darth maul, etc. what did this one have? the characters were fucking dull as fuck, im actually angry as im typing this i just cant get over what i just watched and i need to vent it somewhere.
trust disney to fuck up this bad. i dont even need to mention (but i will anyway) the obvious racism with the dark side being all white, and the 'goodies' being a melting pot of spics, chinks, dindus, females etc. how can this racism even be allowed?
sadly ticket sales determine the success of a film, and so people will feel obligated to think this flick was good but in reality it was tediously boring, which lacked a plot, characters with any redeeming qualities, and made the dark side a joke.
3/10, uttter garbage.
Anyone that says different is a fucking mindless consumer, a Redditor, a feminist, or a child/manchild.
Nothing about this was good. It was a remake of ANH. The characters were forced. Acting sucked. The villain was a little bitch, and his "crossguard" lightsaber was literally the most retarded thing I have ever seen. It felt like a Marvel movie. It had a cliffhanger ending with 10 unanswered question by the end. Rey was a fucking Mary Sue.
>Implying the prequels were bad
Episode 1 was a 5.7/10. Episode 2 was a 7.2/10. Episode 3 was an 8/10.
>buh buh the acting wuz SHITTT!!!
hello Reddit! It was actually nuanced and if you can't see that you have no place here. I was not the best, but the actors all played their roles decently well.
The overarching story was one of the best I've seen. The movies were on par with the originals, which are honestly overrated desu.
Can you remember anything from TFA? No. Plain looking cast, stupid plot. Terrible, and if you say different, you again have no place here.
>tfw it will still never touch Avatar
Fucking lel.
I liked the movie,it was a fun watch
>>64602033
hello reddit!
>>64601058
>implying this isn't the best Star Wars film
>implying any of the other Star Wars films were good
>>64601058
>>64601423
Le hi le reddit le lel
>>64601058
Hey man that's your opinion and you're entitled to one but here's a few things worth considering:
>kylo was meant to be the evil sith boss but actually got KILLED by a girl using a lightsaber for the FIRST FUCKING TIME. the fucking dindu put up a good fight, they both have zero fucking knowledge in using one, let alone the force in general. what the fuck?
Rey was set up to have martial arts experience and specifically experience with weapons early on. Finn was a trained Storm Trooper and one scene clearly shows the First Order train Storm Troopers in close-range combat. Also Kylo was struck critically with a bowcaster, a weapon so powerful they make a point of it on three separate occasions in the movie
>there were no characters in TFA with any presence, or something that made you think 'wow i like this guy'
Actually at my cinema all the characters were pretty well received. As an audience we actually understood Finn and Rey's motivations, we can sympathize with them and they complete a character arc. Poe seemed cool
>the prequels had mace windu, anakin, obi wan, darth vader, darth maul, etc... the characters were fucking dull as fuck
AhahahHAHAHAHA. Oh, you're serious?
>i dont even need to mention (but i will anyway) the obvious racism with the dark side being all white, and the 'goodies' being a melting pot of spics, chinks, dindus, females etc
>females
That's not racism pal
And Han, Leia and Rey are all white, while there was only two white bad guys shown. Numerically the good guys are whiter. And the fact that Finn was formerly a Storm Trooper shows the First Order don't discriminate on race either. The nerve, right?
>>64602466
>As an audience we actually understood Finn and Rey's motivations, we can sympathize with them and they complete a character arc
What arcs? Rey letting go of the retarded notion that her parents are coming back which feels incredibly unsatisfying because her personality is literally "I'm good at everything and everybody loves me"? Finn's sudden turn to pacifism because killing is bad before slaughtering a hundred stormtroopers and yelling in extasy about it (and then being reduced to cheap comic relief for the rest of the movie)?
The characters and the plot were literally beyond shit tier. It says a lot that an emo sith was by far the most compelling new character
>>64601058
you watched a marvel movie
>>64602756
Finn starts the movie terrified of the First Order and cowardly (Poe sees through him: "You need a pilot"). He lies about being a part of the Resistance to meet his own ends of escaping the First Order. In the end his affection for Rey causes him to overcome his fear, infiltrate a First Order base and even square off against Kylo Ren, which he did knowing full well he was outmatched.
Rey is initially hopelessly obsessed with the naive notion her parents would come back for her. She refuses to take Anakin's lightsaber because she doesn't want to a hero - she just wants her parents back. In the end she learns to put the past behind her and become the asset the Resistance needs her to be.
Meanwhile, Qui-Gon Jinn goes from... to...
>>64601058
The whole Boycott Star Wars was a false flag that "forced" all the critics to give it a blank check.
I tried to warn everyone that the official opinion on Star Wars should be that it was a Hack Job ripped from Dune and Lawrence of Arabia.
JJ even acknowledged Dune with Von Sydow being the leader of the Desert Rebels (Fremen), he even had the Tie fighter get eaten by a Sandworm.
Po was literally a Kyle MacLachlan look a like.
>>64603110
cont -
Kyle MacLachlan in the middle
>>64602756
>>64603096
And let me just add that if the character arcs of the two main characters in a Disney movie weren't obvious to you maybe you should stick to something more your speed. Dora the Explorer, perhaps
>>64603110
Nah mate. It was fun and people enjoyed it.
Oh no wait, FALSE FLAG makes more sense
>>64603218
That film would not have been given a universal green light by the critics, if the Boycott Star Wars shit didn't appear.
The critics just didn't want to be seen as racist leaning, this Boycott just made their job so much easier, and Disney so much richer.
The people who propagated Boycott Star Wars are shills.
>>64603217
I'm not saying they weren't obvious. I'm saying they were shit and not a tiny bit engaging. Wow, an all powerful Marey Sue stops thinking like a retarded 5 year old, that sure felt fulfilling.
And Finn's arc is based on his friendship with Rey which is even less believable than Anakin's and Padme's relationship. They meet on Jakku, she beats the shit out of him and literally 10 minutes later they are best friends because they talked about the Resistance for 30 seconds and ran away from some TIE fighters. Bullshit.
>>64601058
konichiwa reddit !
>>64603462
I always thought this. No one believed me though.
>>64603813
I remember a couple of anons who said as much, but I am the only person who sees sand dunes everywhere.
>there were no characters in TFA with any presence, or something that made you think 'wow i like this guy'
I thought Poe Dameron was all right, though he got "killed" off in the first 5 minutes and then only showed up for another 5 at the end when it turned out he was alive.
Otherwise, I agree with your post.
>>64601423
FUCKING MEMESTER PISS OFF
>>64601423
>Mary sue
>Hello reddit
>Episode 3 8/10
Nice opinions there bud. I rate them meme/10. Getting a bit adventurous in your independekt thinking in some parts though, remember not to stray too much from the /v/ circlejerk opinions, someone could call you a redditor :^)
>>64601058
Worst thing is, even the prequels had memorable scenes.
Phantom Menace: The pod race, Maul fight
Attack of the Clones: coruscant car chase, Dooku vs yoda
Return of the Sith; space battle over Coruscant, Vador vs Obi wan...
There's basically nothing I can remember of worth this scenes in TFA. And don't talk about the new vilain. Dear god.
It was a good movie, but tbqh it let me down based on the hype "fans" were giving it.
Kylo was a shit villain. I know he's not really meant to be a villain villain, just a tortured soul and pawn of Snoke, but I never felt that the good guys were in danger for one second when he was attacking them.
Starkiller Base was blown up like a bitch easily. It was very anticlimactic.
>but muh callback to the original
This is current year, I expect something deeper and more sophisticated.
Not a top 5 action movie in 2015 in my book. Still a decent flick.
>>64606576
yeah but the podrace and coruscant car chase are fucking retarded if you actually go back and watch them
they make no sense and add barely anything to the plot, or at least nothing that could've been added in a better way
The prequels were much better written, they had actual characters and story, not a bunch of memes and one-liners that lack any emotion or coherence. Luke is a cliched everyboy "hero" that goes through an absurdly rapid transformation between the fifth and the sixth episodes. Anakin's emotional instability and his exposure as a psychopath are gripping; and his doomed relationship with Padme is touching. In the "original trilogy" Han, Leia, Darth Vader and Obi Wan are complete meme characters, nothing about them is remotely believable or human. And why doesn't anyone care about deaths in those movies? Leia's planet destruction, Luke's stepparents' death, all of the blown up rebels--the list could go on--all the deaths are forgotten moments later.
As for direction, the movies from the "original trilogy" were mostly incoherent, badly edited and full of logical problems. The prequel trilogy is a work of a "vulgar auteur".
I feel neutral about the series overall, and honestly don't care about trolling or contrarianism. Here are my sincere rankings:
1. "Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones"
2. "Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace"
3. "Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith"
4. "Star Wars"
5. "The Empire Strikes Back"
6. "Return of the Jedi"
7.
8. "The Force Awakens"
Episode 7 isn't even a Star Wars movies. It is a Marvel flick masquerading as one.
I just watched this and I spent the entire movie repeating the words "This is reddit, this is memes, this is reddit, this is memes..." under my breath.
I fucking hated it. I was writhing around on the floor in front of my seat for the last 30 minutes it was so painful.
Ayy quirky space movie lmao
If you liked it you're in the wrong place
>>64601058
>Evil Sith Boss
The Sith died during episode 6.
The Sith are gone and Kylo isn't a Sith and will never be.
Deal with it.
This just proves TFA is literally JUST the type of rehash I was expecting, it's nothing but a glib facsimile.
If Star Wars was all I had access to as a child in terms of sci-fi I probably would become one of those crazy fanboys, but thankfully I had access to anime from very early on in my youth years that my mental balance is very stable.
Seriously, if you have watched Akira, you'd realize just how sophisticated anime is and it blows away anything Star Wars would have to offer.
A lot of people mention Ghost In The Shell, which has just enough of sexuality in the mix to draw in the western audience I suppose but I must say that Ghost In The Shell is not even in my top 10 anime, not even close, that's just how deep the world of anime is.
Some anime is so disturbingly mature like Fractale that I wish it would challenge the system and submit it as a Drama category in the Oscars just to bitchslap the snotty Academy.
It's not just the level of maturity and sophistication anime has, it's also quite original, entertaining, and visually fantastic. I would regard anime as the highest form of cinema art-form.
But hey, me preaching about anime won't do you any good, you gotta go out and see it for yourself just how much you are missing.
The recent one I would recommend to check out is Sword Art Online which is light and easy to get into anime for the first time yet appreciate it as much, but if you want the heavy stuff right off the line check out Guilty Crown in which the plot is so complex and twisted that you'll need extra oxygen pumped into your brain in order to comprehend everything, and if you want amazing visuals and a gripping drama that also has awesome mecha battles Aldnoah.Zero is the shit.
Seriously, if you know anime like I do, Star Wars looks like it's something for little kids.
>>64606576
Memorable scenes:Han Solo meets his son, General Hux speech before blowing an entire star system. Also, Coruscant Car Chase wasn't memorable.
>>64601058
>what really fucking me off was how they mocked the dark side to be a laughing stock.
If you don't think the dark side is a laughing stock, you don't understand Star Wars, the most entry level of cinema.
>>64603110
Hanlon's razor you dumb idiot
>>64608172
>The prequels were much better written
FROM MY POINT OF VIEW, IT IS THE FORCE AWAKENS THAT IS BETTER WRITTEN
>>64606576
>using "memorable" to mean "good"
I remember the day my house burned down, but it wasn't a good day.
>>64601058
>i dont even need to mention (but i will anyway) the obvious racism with the dark side being all white
Try actually looking at the first order officers and technicians.
>>64603813
That's because false flags are kooky krazy and the only people who actually perpetrate them are conspiracy theorists themselves
>>64608344
>Han Solo meets his son
maybe
>General Hux speech before blowing an entire star system
I literally can not recall a single sentence from that speech
>>64608617
he didn't say memorable = good. But memorable and shit is still preferable to okay and completely forgettable.
>>64608344
>General Hux speech before blowing an entire star system
I nearly busted out laughing. His overacting was just ridiculous.
>>64601058
>malnourished scavenger Rey fights off two men twice her size
> malnourished scavenger Rey, who one might assume has hardly piloted much at all on Jakku, easily outmaneuvers two TIE fighters while flying through a scrapyard and though the inside of a Star Destroyer, even doing a “back-flip” maneuvers to destroy one of the TIE fighters
> malnourished scavenger Rey is a master mechanic that can quickly identify problems with complex ships, like the Millennium Falcon, that she's never been on before
> malnourished scavenger Rey gets full on Force-vision from touching a lightsaber; hears Obiwan speaking
> malnourished scavenger Rey has never used a gun before, fumbles at first, then suddenly starts dropping storm troopers left and right like she’s Jesse James
>Kylo Ren, highly trained through years of study as a Jedi, a Sith, a Knight of Ren, can barely mind read Rey, yet she mind reads his mind easily in return
> malnourished scavenger Rey does a Jedi mind trick on Stormtrooper guard out of nowhere
>Trained Force user Kylo Ren has trouble pulling a lightsaber towards him, but it rockets towards malnourished scavenger Rey from 40 meters
>100-pound malnourished-scavenger-turned-barely-trained swordwoman beats a 200- pound highly-trained Sith/Jedi swordsman
>>64609840
I don't see how any of this is worse than kid Anakin beating a bunch of expert aliens at a sport humans can hardly even compete in on his first try.
It seems fairly in line with Star Wars lore that latent force ability is OP as fuck.
People who can't understand a Disney film should probably kill themselves
>>64610236
Mary Boo Hoo Sue Loves You
>>64601423
Why would anyone want to have a "place here"??
7/10 for getting me to reply to pasta
>>64603151
>Using that fucking Luke smily
Pathetic. episode IV is beautifully shot
*cough* Ep 4 Obi Wan = Ep 7 Han Solo *cough*
>>64611858
Maz teaches Rey more about the force more than Han did.
>>64610236
>kid Anakin beating a bunch of expert aliens at a sport humans can hardly even compete in on his first try.
>on his first try.
Watch the fucking movie you mong. It's outright stated that he raced multiple times before and even crashed Watto's pod
>>64608259
Is this some sort of cringe copy pasta? It sounds like those retarded kids from youtube recommending crap and thinking they are special.
ITT:
>yes! I've been waiting years to shit post about this movie.
you guys knew you weren't gonna like it, why watch it?
>>64602756
>>64601058
>>64601423
Borderline illiterate.
Overall, I agree that the movie is shit, but:
Kylo Ren didn't die, he just got slashed. He was still breathing and conscious there on the ground, propped up on his arms, and the Supreme Leader sent the GENERAL to go get him.
I thought Kylo Ren had great menace at the start of the movie but his first tantrum hurt it badly and the rest just all evaporated the second he took off his mask.
I also really liked Finn at first, though I thought the big super dramatic "lower rifle, shake head, obvious insubordination" thing was stupid and we should have seen something more subtle, but once he hopped in the TIE Fighter he just became a big useless blob of unfulfilled dreams, a character concept loaded with potential squandered so we can have a comic relief character who fails at everything and constantly has to be rescued by Rey.
>trust disney to fuck up this bad. i dont even need to mention (but i will anyway) the obvious racism with the dark side being all white, and the 'goodies' being a melting pot of spics, chinks, dindus, females etc. how can this racism even be allowed?
I want /pol/ to leave.
>>64608473
>darth vader was a total laughing stock in the OT guys it's ok that his grandson sucks hilariously at the force
>>64610236
>she's not a mary sue she's just like anakin in the first movie
everyone hated his mary sue ass too, you just didn't give a shit because you're pushing an agenda
>>64608813
>overacting
thats exactly how hitler got when he was inflamed. they went full balls out nazi
>>64603096
Qui-Gon's character can be summed up primarily as "parental". At the start of the movie, he's like a dad to Obi-Wan, but a dad who's getting ready for his son to leave the nest, trying to step back and let him do things but still trying to make sure he's off to a good start.
With Anakin, you see the same fatherliness expressed differently, since Anakin's 9. Qui-Gon becomes quite protective of the boy very quickly, from making additional bets to free him to holding off Darth Maul at the ship to defending the kid to the Jedi Council. He was about to be an empty nester; now he has a new child to parent all of a sudden.
Now, even so, this sets up Qui-Gon as a supporting character, not really a protagonist. The real protagonist of Episode I is Obi-Wan -- or it should be. The only thing fucking this up is the fact that Obi-Wan's nearly absent for all of the Tatooine section. If he had gone into Mos Espa WITH Qui-Gon, both characters would have been greatly improved, and the movie would be properly focused on Obi-Wan and his relationship with his master, as it should be.
By the end of the movie, the experience has made him more like Qui-Gon, realizing his master was right about most of those things they kept disagreeing about throughout the movie, and ultimately forcing Obi-Wan to take on the parent role himself with Anakin, like a big brother forced to care for a younger sibling after both are suddenly orphaned.
Centering the movie on Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon's relationship properly would have done so much to improve it. Very little actually needs to change outside of that change on Tatooine; some dialogue could be cleaned up a bit to explain things a little better, but the plot points and characters are fine outside of Obi-Wan's Tatooine absence.
>>64603096
Finn's just a cowardly buffoon who falls in love at first sight. It's a pity, too, because there's SO MUCH that could have been done with this AWOL stormtrooper concept, with him struggling to fit into civilian life, straining to overcome his conditioning, plagued by the conflict between a lifetime of indoctrination and a sudden attack of conscience. Instead, as soon as he decides to be a good guy, he's just a goofy coward who can't do anything right. The confrontation with Phasma on Starkiller Base should have been tense and powerful for Finn, severing the final tie with the life he had before, standing up to the authority figure who ruled his entire world since birth, but every segment of that confrontation is played as pure comedy, to the detriment of both Finn and Phasma. What a fucking waste.
Every step of Rey's arc feels entirely forced, like Abrams is just checking off Campbell boxes. She runs into BB-8 and cuts him free as her "save the cat" moment so the audience will think she's nice. BB-8 and Finn show up with the call to adventure: BB-8's mission to get back to base. She refuses the call for a reason a child would have figured out was bullshit a decade ago, only to later have her reason for refusing magically melted away by a little old crone (supernatural aid) telling her "hey, they're not coming back", which Rey accepts unconditionally and without argument. The aforementioned crone literally never appears or is mentioned again after giving the the magical object to the heroes; we never see or hear about Maz again after "I need a weapon!" "You have one!" And of course she's captured by an enemy using an ability we never see him use again after this in order to force the belly of the whale beat, after which she IMMEDIATELY breaks free on her own and shortly thereafter crushes said enemy.
The steps of Rey's arc can be sequenced, but there's nothing tying them together. It's not a story, it's a laundry list.
>>64601423
holy fuck is this pasta? I spit out my drink at 8/10. Very well done.
>>64601058
You posted it again.
Great job, you fucking autist.
heres your (you)
Please ban me from this board.
>>64610236
Here we go. the only way for you cucks to defend Reys blatent Mary Sueism is to either attack anakin as a Mary Sue or Luke. You're not changing anything by doing this
