>>1108111
Alright, I thought you must have moved back to this board. Left this message on the last one you made but kept it /tv/ related.

Just remember that nobody will ever care about where you went in life besides yourself. The people you run into or the memories you have on your travels might end up becoming the things that stick with you for the rest of your life. Now get out there and live it.

If you want something in life, reach out and grab it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7ArZ7VD-QQ

Traveling can be pretty individualistic activity. Actually it is most of the time.

You are just hearing too much of those yappy "yaaay I travel to meet so many new people like omg everyone was friends with me and so beatiful and I have so many new friends, like wow!!!"
That's complete bullshit mostly.

Oh well I guess I'll copy my response here too.
>>1108126
>reach out and grab it.
Easier said than done. But that is exactly what you have to do. right? If you don't? Well you get nothing.

Watched the movie. Great movie in a lot of ways. At the same time felt a little cringe. Not sure if the cringe was correct or not.

>>1108129
I had a gut feeling I was reading too much into that. But still there are so much interaction you have to do with other people. From the airport to the hotel. Getting lost and asking people how to go somewhere. Especially not knowing the language is hell. I'm scared to make myself look like a retard trying to explain something without knowing the language. And I know in those places the more out going/confident you are the better the experience and it helps with many things. Like fighting off scam artists or beggars. I know scam artists target shy and quiet people.

>>1108132
Guess we'll double post the whole thing, ha.

>But at least you know it has to be done. Some folks dilly-dally their entire lives away because of the way you're feeling right now. I've been at that point too, ya'know? Not wanting to go places because I won't know anybody or I might get lost or something bad will happen. That's kind of the excitement you start to feel when you abandon those thoughts of it automatically being a bad thing. I don't know anything about techniques for social anxiety outside of regulating your breathing, drinking water or finding some way to meditate and clear your head when things become too much. I'd personally try and care less as it really is that more freeing. Guess that's why I tried recommending the film as a means to an end.

I wish you the best of luck on your travels, anon. I'm sure you will have many, just do your best not to let any of this get to you as much as it clearly has done in the past.

Now hit the road.

>>1108137
>But still there are so much interaction you have to do with other people.

Not more than you do in everyday life. Also the best thing is, that you most probably for like 99.999% will never ever meet those people IRL.
The receptionist in a hotel on the opposite side of the world isn't the shop keeper on the corner of your street if you know what I mean.
You are free to behave completely different from what and who you are at home. Nobody will know.

>Getting lost and asking people how to go somewhere.
Never happened to me. It also depends where and how you travel. If you do urban traveling in civilized countries (like the average tourist traps and cities), then you will most probably also have some kind of offline maps in your smartphone or something.

>Especially not knowing the language is hell.
You know English! What else do you need? There are people traveling around the world not knowing English or any other language and hey, they somehow get by.
If you meet someone not knowing English then either say sorry and move on or you can point fingers or something. Just be careful if you trvel somewhere where is a chance of meeting people of very different cultures from your own. Like in Africa or something.

>I'm scared to make myself look like a retard trying to explain something without knowing the language
See point 1. You will never meet those people again.

>And I know in those places the more out going/confident you are the better the experience and it helps with many things.
Not really. Just like in everyday life. Traveling is basically just everyday life free time, nothing more nothing less. You are just in different location.

>Like fighting off scam artists or beggars.
Lol. Then avoid them.

Where are you from? WHat country?

OP, I don't even have one single friend and yet I travel a lot. You don't even need to interact much with people. You just have to be polite whenever you buy something/order food. And it's not that much different from everyday life. In fact, it's better, because you just need to make things easier and quicker.

Just go to a neighboring country, or in the worst case, to the other side of your country.

>>1108137
>Getting lost and asking people how to go somewhere. Especially not knowing the language is hell.
The good news is that there are something like 70 countries in the world where English is the first or second official language and on top of that it's the language of choice for travel so in places like hotels/hostels you're likely to find English speakers everywhere.

I used to suffer from anxiety like that as well, still do to some extent. I think it's easier when you travel because you can just put it in your head that those people you talked to will never meet you again. So even if you make a huge fool of yourself they will not remember you in a day or two. In my early travels I didn't interact much with people, I still don't as much as I would like to, but I get to see the sights and experience certain aspects without having to fully put myself out there.

I know it can be hard but if you don't break those walls you never will. Try to ease yourself through it, go to another part of your city and eat at a restaurant alone. Go to the next town over and visit a museum.

>>1108139
>Not more than
I understand what you're trying to say and I get it. It's just to put it in action. I guess trying to predict their reaction? Cause it's a different culture and norms and stuff. I don't want to be the odd looking and lost traveller. I hate attention.
Stalls me.
>Never happened
I'm sure it's going to happen to me once or more. It's really inevitable. Like going to India, or any South East Asian country. Even South America.
>You know English
Yea that's the one thing I see I can use to my benefit.
>See point 1.
Even if I don't see them. At the moment it's hard to put it in practice. It makes perfect sense in my head. But I know once I got there it will all crumble down.
>Not really
I don't think so. Especially if you're going to go more poorer places. Those people have been through horrible shit. And are much more raw maybe even a little more straight forward?

>Where are you from? WHat country?
USA

>>1108146
Well you might first try to travel around the western world, like Europe or North America to get some experience. Leave SE Asia or even India for later.

>>1108138
Yea I see that at least I know I have to do something about before I reach 40. There is a nice saying the Benjamin Franklin said.
>Some people die at 25 and aren't buried until 75
I've tried some meditation and it does help. I guess I have to start local travelling first to get comfortable. But I don't want to waste too much time. Like I said I don't want to be old and crippled before I have the confidence.
>>1108143
>in the worst case, to the other side of your country.
Sometimes I do think about jumping in the deep end.
>>1108145
Yea I do want to get out more and break the walls. But time is running out. Breaking the walls at 50 might be better than nothing but I'd rather do it sooner than latter. And seems hard to do it so fast. Hostels are good and bad. Good that it forces you to socialize but hell also because you have to socialize.

>>1108148
Yea I can see that as opening me up. It just solves the language problem. Better than nothing I guess. I try to learn a lot about the culture of the country I'm going to because again I don't want to be the foolish traveller. Not knowing the customs and how they interact is hell. I know I will never know 100% of their culture and just have to jump the gun. Makes it difficult. I guess Canada will be better for a first time travel.

>>1108157
The world isn't as drastically "exotic" as it used to be. Just don't be a retard nor an asshole, and you'll be fine.

Start with a safe and nice European destination, or even Canada. Then, you might want to reach safe East Asian countries like Japan. Or even Hong Kong; the worst you can get is getting ripped off, but again, don't act like a retard. The world is pretty much westernized, and they will forgive you since you're from the West.

>>1108159
>The world isn't as drastically "exotic" as it used to be
This. Popculture has spoiled most of the world. You will always get food in the same supermarkets or fast foods and shopping malls around the globe. See the same TV shows etc.
And even in those remote places where it doesn't work like that, you will always meet people of the same kind. We all have similar social behaviour and the most important thing is always politeness and friendliness. It helps a lot.

>>1108153
>Breaking the walls at 50 might be better than nothing but I'd rather do it sooner than latter.
I work in a university and I just (15 minutes ago) went to a presentation from a company that's looking to hire out students. We had them come over to give a few pointers about interviews and preparing to find a job. The best piece of knowledge that I picked up from it was that "no one knows what's inside your head". The presenter was talking about his own anxiety problems and how he overcame them. Basically it was through hard work. He practiced interview questions every single day for months and he got so confident that interviews were a breeze for him. You can you the same knowledge for anything you do in life, everything inside your head cannot be seen or heard by others until you tell them. When you go to another part of the world you can pretty much be anyone, and if you practice being an amazing confident person for a few months your mind will change.

Now look, you don't have to make huge drastic changes, it's possible to just expand slightly outside your comfort zone but you have to be open to it. Look at this thread, you're countering a lot that's written here, it's alright, I used to have that mindset before as well, there's no miracle that can happen, you have to work through those problems to improve yourself. Start now, it might sound silly but start talking 10 minutes into your mirror or a camera if you have one. Tomorrow do the same and do that every day until you feel confident enough to make simple interactions with others. Practice and you'll get better at it.

>>1108111
I've got social anxiety and depression where I mostly tend to become listless. It used to be really bad to the point of being almost non-functional, but I did some therapy a few years back and now I'm somewhat better on both fronts.
I still mostly hole up in my room aside from work, and I have no friends or private social contacts accordingly.
I usually travel with my parents because of that.

Last year, I noticed money piling up on my bank account, and I decided that at 30 years of age, it was time to blow it on a trip to Japan, which had been a dream of mine for a long time.

I chose to go with a group tour, which worked out perfectly.
A set schedule and good organization I could keep to, so no problems with become apathetic and lazing around in a hotel room all day. depressed.
And a small group of people with similar interests that made it easier to connect to them, if I wanted. Still easy to keep your distance, though. Being surrounded by people like me made me feel much more at home and less alien.

>>1108197
>no one knows what's inside your head
That's great advice and I think it will help me a lot. It's just that damn voice in the back of my head that constantly says "what if" he finds out that I'm a faggot loser with no friends. And were back to square one.
>>1108201
At least you did before you reached my age. So that's good for you. But I think I'd have to take this route too. Just fuck it and GO! Most likely with a tour or whatever. So everything is planned out and I'm kind of forced to with the tour. Because if I wasn't I'd most likely just make excuses for my self to not go or do certain things because I'm afraid. I'd have to go with a tour guide in Japan. I can't imagine myself going to a restaurant to order something.

>>1108111
nice repeating numbers
>How did you deal with your social anxiety?
I just do, my jobs have put me in position where I had to travel abroad. So I just forced myself to deal with it. It helps a bit to do some traveling in your own homecity, go to museums and the like.
>old and crippled.
lots of tourist are 50+, don't sweat it, but learn to deal with social anxiety

In the end is not like you have to befriend every motherfucker you come across.

>>1108220
>lots of tourist are 50+, don't sweat it
Yea, I wouldn't mind travelling at that age. It's just that I don't to be learning how to be social at that age. Or to be getting rid of my social anxiety. That's the age where all of these stuff are suppose to be gone and you know how to be social. You should already have all of your mistakes when you were younger. Not the opposite. Actually learning how to be social at 50. Making retarded mistakes when you're retarded is horrible. That's I want to learn it now and break of this horrible shell so I can experience life more.

>>1108219
>"what if" he finds out that I'm a faggot loser with no friends
Will never happen. I don't have any friends back home and no one has ever asked me about it when I've been traveling. Most people say it's awesome that I travel alone, they don't know that the reason is because I don't have anyone to go with. People also don't ask me much about my life back home, it's just not something people ask until they know you for a while.

After various group therapy sessions that focus on every type of anxiety, I've learned that the best cure is to always challenge yourself.

You wanna travel? Train yourself - set a new travel goal for yourself every day. Start out by exploring the town you live in. When you start feeling comfortable with that, move yourself out of that comfort zone by taking a trip to a nearby place. Keep going strong at that, it's horrifying but extremely rewarding once you finally hit the point where you no longer feel uncomfortable with everything outside your house. Simply hopping on a piece of public transport and getting off at the next stop can be seen as a challenge.
Point is, find your most inner fears and challenge them.

Now for the real travel part - I've made multiple journeys from my country to visit internetfriends over the years, but I've always had to take hour long train journeys to various destinations on my own after arriving in their country.
One time, there was problems with the train and I ended up being stranded on a massive trainstation in London without internet and a phone and no idea where to go because I hadn't planned for this. I found a bathroom and had a panic attack, washed my face, went outside and asked for help on which train to take next. Nobody laughed, or even gave a shit that a very distraught girl walked around looking like she was about to cry, I got the help I needed when I asked for it and I arrived safely at my destination two hours later. I grew just a little more after that forced experience and it helped me remember that people aren't as horrifying as my brain tells me.

That was 3 years ago, I still challenge myself and pat myself on the back when I need to. Going to Japan this summer for 1 month on my own, I'm beyond horrified but I want to check out Japan, and that won't happen by sitting in my room and feeling sorry for myself (no offense.)

Don't let the anxiety control you. I believe in you anon!

>>1108111
You have to go little by little. If it's true social anxiety it will be difficult jumping from a safe home into India or whatever. Slowly start taking bike rides out to random areas. Drive to new cities around you and explore the region you're from. Slowly you'll feel better and better about yourself, I guarantee it! It's just the first few times that it's difficult. You'' gradually become more adapted to feeling well in these situations. You have it in you! A few things I could recommend are -
1) As I said, do smaller explorations at first
2) Read a chapter or two of some self-help book relating to your issue a day
3) Try to interact with people in anyway, even if it's a hello or something.
4) Realize it's all mental. You're most likely not any odder than anyone else around you, just a mental state.
5) Get comfortable being uncomfortable! The only way to live life is being a bit uncomfortable!

Best of luck!

>>1108234
That's the thing. The more you talk with someone the more they'll know. And jut by the way you act and conduct yourself they'll know what kind of person you are.
>>1108285
Thanks for the well thought out answer. Just reading your experience in London was giving me anxiety. But I think there is nothing else to it other than to challenge and push yourself. "Easier said than done"
>and that won't happen by sitting in my room and feeling sorry for myself (no offense.)
No offense taken. That's the one thing pushing me. But like another anon said, I think going with a tour would be really great. They will fix everything and I just go with the flow. I might even make a friend and be forced to talk to some people. I want to gain confidence before I'm to old. And I think travelling can help with that.
>>1108315
Thanks for the points.
>Get comfortable being uncomfortable! The only way to live life is being a bit uncomfortable!
That's one that kills. That you have to be comfortable in being uncomfortable. And I know I have to be like this because well if I didn't than you will do nothing in live.

I don't know much about your situation, but have you tried medicine or CBT? I've had social anxiety my entire life, but have become much better since I started on an SSRI and CBT last summer, and plan on doing my first solo travel this summer to get a lot of exposure.

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>>1108201
here, I second
>>1108599
at least on the CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) front.
It really helped a lot to learn to take a step back and analyze a situation more rationally, then choose a helpful and beneficial mindset to get shit done.

Then you expose yourself to your fears, and you see that really, there's no reason to feel embarrassed because at worst, no one really cares, and most people are actually just nice.

I'd stay away from SSRI and other drugs if you can, because they may have lasting, nasty side effects (see: SSRI-induced sexual dysfunction etc). I'd only go that way if nothing else works for you.

This is what comes from overprotective parents who shout if their kid so much as eats something they dropped on the floor, first world parenting is objectively shit and has raised a generation of autistic fuckups.