>>44210994
Bumping to keep the thread alive until I return in 4-5 hours.

In the meantime, could you go into more detail about the different routes and what endings different choices in the last thread would have led to?

>>44210994
Nice, so, what would have happened specifically if we failed to help one or more of the girls?

>>44211491
>>44211561

Gonna give you some content.

"Exile" is the neutral ending only for the route you took.
In the other two routes, there's really nothing keeping Johnatahn in this dimension, so Exile is the good ending, while Destroy is the True Ending.
If you had chosen destroy, girls would have had a worse nightmare (i.e. Rin would have commented that she did, indeed, see the color of the meaning of life, but somebody erased it before she could memorize it).

The other two routes involve, as I said yesterday, either an alliance with Lilly or touching Emi's Core Heartache.
>>44211561
Like for example turning your back on Misha or killing Emi?

>>44211577
Precisely, or even just antagonizing one of them further, rather than befriending.

Also what did you have in mind for hanako considering we neber delved deep into her

>>44211607
Hanako has a more central role in the other routes. Especially in the one in which you touch the core heartache of Emi, since that route develops around the idea that communication is cumbersome. I hadn't thought precisely of how to make that route end, there are just some notes. One idea would have been to replace "exile" as a good ending ending with something a la Evangelion, with Johnathan using the grail to break the barriers between humans. (naturally exile would have still been a possibility).

Antagonizing too many girls might lead you to different bad endings. Not understading Rin's POV leads to Lilly believing you're cruel, and while she doesn't intend for you to die, she doesn't send Archer to watch over you, which causes you to die.

Same thing happens, ironically, if you forge an alliance with Shizune.

>>44211694
What would've happened if we failed to bond properly with Saber, also what could've lead to that?

>>44211777
That would have been rather hard to do, since Saber tends to be very understanding. However if you do touch Emi's Heartache and in a later choice don't apologize, that causes Saber to disappear because he believes his master is rotten. (Needless to say it's a bad ending, you turn into the grail and whoever is the winner does what she wants).

>>44211829
What would've happened if Shizune won?
Also, each girl in general. I think the one we had no insight one was Hanako's right?

>>44211859
You never get to witness Shizune's victory, since an alliance with her usually ends up in a bad ending.
Shizune, Hanako and Lilly would eventually all cast the Grail out, either to restore balance
or to revive Hisao.
Misha is a conflicted character, if she were to be able to decide on her own she'd probably make Shizune fall in love with her. I can't think of a decision branch that makes her the winner though.
Same thing goes for Emi and Rin, they don't really have a chance given how the routes are written. Emi'd probably try to resuscitate her father, and Rin would do something like the ending of the "Touch-core-heartache" route.

>>44212006
What was the core heartache?

>>44212138
Actually witnessing the accident which killed her father and costed her legs.

>>44212175
Does Lily's song have anything more to it?
Like, any chance they actually do meet again or is it just wishful thinking.

>>44212292
It's an actual WW2 song, that women used to sing when their husbands, brothers and sons left for the war. There's no chance you'll meet again just like many soldiers never made it back home

>>44212175
Did you actually write up stats for all the Servants, or did you just have rough ideas of their abilities? What was Assassin's Noble Phantasm?

>>44212499
Mostly rough ideas.
Finding an Assassin Heroic Spirit which was actually an assassin and not the Nasuverse kind of bullshit you see recently (Caster Andersen, for example) was rather hard.

Assassin's NP is "Blades of the Chosen People", which works like Ananke to a lesser degree (can break armor but not bonds)

>>44212639
What about the identities?
Sebastian
Roland
Dali
Aristodemus
Hisao
And who were the others again?

>>44212836
Oh and pheidippides

>>44212836
Archer-Saint Sebastian
Berserker-Roland/Orlando
Caster-Dalí
Lancer-Aristodemus
Saber-Hisao
Assassin-Eleazar

>>44212867
fugg forgot that one, but I saw you were missing Assassin and I threw him back in.

>>44212905
Was it a possibility to save Saber/Hisao from getting shrekt by berserker?

Gonna add an easter egg since yesterday no one noticed.

Greater Grail-Sister says that Mutou, homeroom teacher, used to be good at collectible card games.

It is a reference to Yugi Mutou, main character of the Yu-Gi-Oh! anime.

>>44212983
No, in this particular route Berserker kills Hisao.

If there was a brawl with all the servants thrown in, who would be victorious?

>>44213328
Difficult to envision, but most likely Berserker.
He'd also be able to break Saber's RM using the Oliphant.

>>44212999
One more Easter Egg.

Before facing off against Lilly, John says "People die when they're killed", a quote from the original F/SN anime.

>>44213967
yeah, i kekd a little with that one

>>44214125
did you get the one about the chocolate and Hanako?

>>44214136
must have missed that one

>>44214835
It's somewhere at the end of season 2.

Could I, by the way, get some feedback from you?

I was thinking I could run another quest (on an original setting) and I think feedback is crucial for that.

Oh boy, let's see now.

>>44211577
What would have happened if we had chosen to seal the Grail instead, apart from the obvious. What repercussions would it have had?

Was there any way we could have stayed with our sis permanently?

>>44211694
>Hanako has a more central role in the other routes
What about Iwanako? Would there have been any way to come into contact with her again, before the end?

>>44211829
Conversely, would it have been possible to bond MORE with Saber, possibly leading to him winning battles he would otherwise have lost? no homo

>>44212006
What would Kenji really have wished for, if we had handed our Command Seals over to him, or otherwise have allowed him to wish in our stead?

>>44212639
>Assassin's NP is "Blades of the Chosen People", which works like Ananke to a lesser degree (can break armor but not bonds)
>weaker stats than Saber
>weaker NP than Saber
Isn't it sad, Assassin? ;_;

>>44213081
What would have going for Ananke instead of the chant have done?
Also, would it have been possible to avoid losing our arm? What repercussions would that have had? Obviously, Saber would have had an easier time with Berserker, for one.

>>44214918
What sort of feedback are you looking for?

And am I correct in thinking that Lilly would basically have been the final boss for all the routes you had planned?

Will likely have more questions after I skim the pastebins again.

>>44214918
Definetely do so, I am at the hospital right now so it's a bit hard to reply.
I liked your quest, if you put as much effort as you did in this one it'll certainly do well. No complaints really.

>>44215063
Sealing is staying with your sis. In a certain way.
If you sealed it you would have gotten out of the Grail and probably just carried Lilly at the hospital.
Shizune would have said she hated you for taking away the only thing she ever loved in her life. Misha and Shizune would fall apart and her, Lilly, Hanako and you would become closer friends.

>Iwanako
Not for the ending you chose. The other ending does foresee you meeting her again and talking about Hisao

>Bonding more
No, you were already doing pretty good, he couldn't win against Berserker. He was the strongest servant in this war, his only weakness was his mad love for Angelica, but Misha could relate to that, so fat chance.

>Kenji's wish
He would have wished for every woman to always be obedient and truthful. Or something like that. I didn't plan any scenarios in which that would actually happen

>Assassin is weak
Assassin belongs to Cavalry, Saber to Knights. It was destiny

>Going for Ananke
You jointly try to severe the connection. Doesn't work.

You could have saved your arm if you teamed up with Lilly or touched Emi's core heartache. Despite what she said Rin would have refused giving you an amulet, afraid you might kill her.

The arm-thingy is specific to this one route you picked

>Feedback
Anything you really disliked and anything you really liked. Something that could have been improved so to say.

>Lilly final boss

Actually no, at least not if you team up with her, then she takes the role Emi used to have (except she dies). I am not sure who would be the final boss in case you don't listen to Saber during the duel with rider, but if you had allied with Lilly the end of the first season would have been the end of the (first) grail war.

>>44215066
Oh anon, hope it's nothing serious.

>>44214918
Was there any way to beat Berzerker?

>>44215245
Just getting some exams done for a surgery, nothing serious.

>>44215258
See >>44215245 and >>44213361

Berserker only loses because his master has the hots for a girl.

>>44215280
get better soon then!

>>44215245
>Sealing is staying with your sis. In a certain way.
Yeah, but was there any way for her to stay with us in a physical manifestation, and not just a voice in our heads? Alternatively, could we have sealed ourselves within the Grail with her and kept her company forever?

>Assassin belongs to Cavalry, Saber to Knights. It was destiny
Meanwhile, Berserker wrecks face every war, all wars.

>Feedback
Was pretty good overall. There were some typoes here and there, but that's nothing that can't be solved with a little more proofing before posting.

Perhaps one thing you might want to try next time is allowing write-ins, or at least taking into account discussions from players during the voting period when you write. As a player, I find it enjoyable if I see the comments and elaborations I make in my posts affect the writing in an update.

That said, I don't think I have terrifically high standards - I just read things I enjoy reading, and I enjoyed this quest quite a bit.

>>44215459
Thanks bro!

>>44215543
No. Sealing means that the grail becomes part of reality. So sis would have become 'part' of the universe in the same way Hisao was. Holy shit this sounds like Madoka, I swear by all the known gods that I've never read about it before today.

Berserker is a tricky beast. In F/Z he'd be the strongest IF JUST Kariya wasn't so weak.
In F/SN he IS the strongest but unfortunately Gilgamesh counters him hard.
It's always a matter of finding the exception to the rule.

Write-Ins were a bit difficult for me to do because I wanted to give this a more "visual-novel" kinda feel. I did try to insert as much possible "user content" in my posts as possible.

For the typos, I can tell you that before starting any quest thread I would revise all that was written previously. It's not much use but it's better than nothing I guess.
Next time I am so pre-writing my stuff.

Thanks anyway for the feedback.

>>44215671
Well in other iteractions Berserker kinda has a foil, in this one he didn't chimp out or anything but got held back by his master.

>>44215744
Isn't Berserker basically screwed over by his master running out of mana in F/Z?

>>44215671
>In F/Z he'd be the strongest IF JUST Kariya wasn't so weak.
And Gilgamesh didn't get pissed enough to pull Ea on him. He's probably just get his arm cut off for his trouble again, though.

>In F/SN he IS the strongest but unfortunately unfortunately Gilgamesh counters him hard.
Which is funny, because you'd imagine Archer would have been able to do exactly the same thing in his Reality Marble, except that he didn't.

>I did try to insert as much possible "user content" in my posts as possible.
I did notice that. Just saying that you might want to give more leeway for write-ins next time and see where how that goes. Be ready to go off the rails if you do, though.

>>44215671
>Next time I am so pre-writing my stuff.
Nah, just give it a quick re-read before posting. There weren't too many, so none of us here really found it too distracting, but if you attract more readers you might find increasing amounts of shitposts every time you fuck up. A typo here and there is to be expected, really.

>>44215791
>Isn't Berserker basically screwed over by his master running out of mana in F/Z?
He was screwed over by not just hijacking more damn F-15s to just blow the fuck out of everyone ever. Seriously, does 'turn anything her perceives as a weapon into a Noble Phantasm' seem more broken than Arondight to anyone else?


Did you plan out any romance routes for this quest? How would they have changed the outcome? Who is best girl?

>>44215904
>archer could have done the same
I think it has to do with divinity, anon.

>"romance routes"

Not exactly. In different routes you interact more with other girls, but it wasn't the focus. One complaint from the /tg/ community is that quests are full of waifufaggotry. I personally don't mind, but I didn't feel it was the purpose of the game.
Iwanako is there more as a memento than a girl (if that makes sense, tumblr pls don't kill me).

Her role is not to be a potential partner or romance interest. It's rather to be a reason why Johnathan (in this route) would try to stay in this world, or at least feel conflicted about leaving it.

I think that by how they came to be in this quest, Iwanako and Lilly are pretty close. I'd say Iwanako is slightly better since she saved our life while Lilly tried to kill us

Also honest questions to my readers, if I have any left.

I have a couple of ideas for the new quest, and I am not sure whether to go for independent setting or recycle another setting like I did this one time.

Again, another complaint is that quests are "fanfic-tier bullshit" and I am trying to change that.

File: I'm not saying it's alpha waves, but it's alpha waves.gif (1 MB, 400x400) Image search: [Google]

1 MB, 400x400

>>44215990
>another complaint is that quests are "fanfic-tier bullshit" and I am trying to change that.
People will always give this complaint, no matter what you do. Write what you, the writer, want to write instead of trying to pander to the audience with something you won't enjoy. Hell, some of the best and/or most popular quests are basically fanfic-tier bullshit anyway.

Are you going to get a Twitter account to announce new threads? Otherwise, when can we expect to see you next?

Again, bracing for Katawa Yuushas.

Oh, and one more thing: in your head, where are John and his sister now?

>>44216191
I don't know if I am going to set up a twitter.
Don't really know how that works with quests.
So far I've been trying to dish out quest per day, I think I might tone it down. I guess I will see how the other QM do it. I am not gonna change my trip, so tripfagging shall be easier.

>Where are John and sis?

I have many scenarios in my mind. Nevertheless I like to think they're somewhere in the Oreimo Universe, after Kuroneko has cast a curse on "all those who feel loved"

I felt this quest was pretty fresh compared to a few i follow.
Digged the mashup style a lot.
Maybe set up a system where you need a minimum number of responses (like 3 or 4), if you don't mind longer waiting times.
Your typos were very few, not really bothersome.

8/8 ur a gr8 m8