Mouyes fucked up to begin with. He brought a woman on board his ship. Everyone knows this is bad luck.
She didn't adversely affect their fortunes, however, and they even won a title or two with her onboard. She became a sort of talisman, something his crew would draw strength and will from.
But then it happened. The first match of the new season, the maiden sail. If he wasn't the narcissistic asshole he is, he might've had a simple discussion with his fan favorite good luck charm and the next match would've been less emotional.
But he didn't. A tiny transgression, a little inadvertent nudge against his authority in the process of performing her role, and he fucking strung her up. He tied her to the bow and set her on fucking fire, blaming her for minor previous misfortunes. And what does a condemned, flaming witch do with her last breath as she plays martyr to an egomaniac?
She curses the ever loving shit out of him.
Last year's champions are one point above relegation, the dressing room is ripped to shreds, every player is in terrible form, King Shit has been fucking S A C K E D and whatever plastic fans they have are outraged in five different ways.
This whole thing has played out exactly like a 15th century naval legend. The voodoo healing lady gets fucking torched; the captain subsequently gets mutinied and the ship goes to shit. Time will only tell if the misfortune ends here or if this is merely the beginning of the true >Mouyes Saga.
Just remember lads, never, EVER fuck with a witch.
>>64297942
>EVER fuck with a witch
Too l8 m8, I just buttfucked ur mom
>>64298063
Don't you know that that's haram, Karim?
nice story, mate
>>64298129
Thanks Germanbro
It's too perfect the way it played out
>>64297942
>talisman
eh. the whore probably just cheered everyone up by letting them run a train on her.
this just proves that women have no place in football
women are subhuman
she was there when they won the CL lmao
try again, mike
I am convinced that Hazard and Eva were having an affair, and Mou knew about it. As soon as Mou outted Eva, Hazard started playing like shit (on purpose, to make Mou look bad). Hazard desperately wanted her back, and spoke to Roman about it. At the time Roman was hesitant to fire Mou because of his contract, so instead teamed up with Eva to try and sue him for sexism. If found guilty, Roman could have fired Mou for misconduct and not had to pay him out, but that didn't work. Eventually it got to the point where it was either Mou, or Hazard and the rest of the squad he has rallied, and Roman had to make the call. With Mou out of the way, Hazard will try his hardest to win back the heart of his secret lover, by playing phenomenal football.
It is actually sort of obvious when you think about it. Stay jealous Brana
>soccer
holy shit you fucking faggots might as well watch soap operas lmao
>>64297942
>Just remember lads, never, EVER fuck with a witch.
Chelsea were playing horribly vs Swansea before the Eva Caneiro moment happened
The preseason was bad as well
The medic thing is a red herring, the whole incident is overblown because she has tits and is not ugly, no one cares about the male medic
>>64297942
>He brought a woman on board his ship.
Canadians talking about football.
its not really got much to do with football, women just ruin everything. they are fucking parasites, truly.
>>64297942
>>64302450
The Mourinho firing was a blessing for legends
>>64302450
How does Willian becoming GOAT add to this though? Is he gay with a secret crush on somebody?
>>64302716
and they stink. i hate girls!
>>64298007
This
>>64302398
Radamel here knows what's up
>>64302450
>Hazard desperately wanted her back, and spoke to Roman about it.
And that's when Roman realized she was being unfaithful to him.
>>64302846
yeah, that's why I'm always surrounded by men. Being with women is for faggots!
>>64306538
Ramadan here knows what's up.
>>64306632
Totally bro! Let's have sex.
>>64306654
Shut the fuck up muhammed
Don't you have some infidels to blow up?
Although she done a good, and although she seemed like a nice person. Having a woman in that type of work environment is bad to begin with. ANY woman, unless she's a lesbian.
Why?
Just look at things here..
What if she ended up in a relationship with one of the players or other staff? Yeah, all sounds nice and charming at first. But what if the relationship broke out? Remember, after most relationships, the pair don't exactly see eye to eye.
So what does that mean? You have two bad apples who aren't seeing eye to eye, obviously. Then what does it cause? It causes the morale of the whole squad to fuck up to begin with, then the form drops, then people start rowing.
I would of terminated her contract as soon as I became manager of Chelsea FC.
Have a few females dotting around the catering, ground keeping and cleaning areas yeah, it's great to have the female company. But not literally IN your team.
Bad move whoever employed her in the first place, and I know it wasn't Mouyes.
Mouyes is still an arsehole though.
>>64302344
this.
>>64297942
>He brought a woman on board his ship. Everyone knows this is bad luck.
When routine bites hard,
And ambitions are low,
And resentment rides high,
But emotions won't grow,
And we're changing our ways, taking different roads.
Then love, love will tear us apart again.
Love, love will tear us apart again.
Why is the bedroom so cold?
You've turned away on your side.
Is my timing that flawed?
Our respect runs so dry.
Yet there's still this appeal
That we've kept through our lives.
But love, love will tear us apart again.
Love, love will tear us apart again.
You cry out in your sleep,
All my failings exposed.
And there's a taste in my mouth,
As desperation takes hold.
Just that something so good just can't function no more.
But love, love will tear us apart again.
Love, love will tear us apart again.
Love, love will tear us apart again.
Love, love will tear us apart again.
>>64297942
Plot twist: His estranged son hired her in his only season in charge as a poisoned chalice waiting for the return of the father.
>>64308213
portugal bringing the surprisingly good taste
>>64302697
Oh yeaaaaaa joseeeeee
he was once a very great sailor who ran a dangerous ship
they won the premiership trophy and embarked on a second trip
then his prized talisman made it all go rip
the size of his entailing fit couldn't prevent the drip
the drip of the sinking ship that soon got even worse
"OH WHY EVA, WHYD YOU LEAVE THIS CURSE"
his players started to turn on him, his captain was the first
then his hair started to thin as they took coutois to a hearse
"CESC WHY ARE YOU QUESTIONING ME LAST YEAR WE CAME IN FIRST"
poor mou didn't yet realize he's yet to hit the worst
3 points to Stoke, 3 points to West Ham
"OH WHATS HAPPENING?? WE'RE LOSING ALL OUR FANS"
"EDEN WHERE ARE YOU? WE NEED YOU TO FALL OVER MAN"
THE EVIL WITCH JUST LAUGHED AS THEY APPROACHED VARDYS PARTY
THE EVIL BRITS SMILE WAS AS VILE AS JOSES DAUGHTER
JOSE BLANKLY STARED, PREPARING TO BE SLAUGHTERED
BANG! BANG! BANG!
THE FAT LADY SANG
>>64302503
the cum inside woman
>>64298007
Pic incredibly related
>>64297942
>He brought a woman on board
spotted the virgin
>>64298007
Stannisfags are just as deluded as Mourinhofags too.
How did I not see the connection?
>>64308213
would be better for a manchester team but still, well done
they do call it a semen-slurping sport, amiritelads?
