OkCupid thread.
Advice, questions, etc.
Any success or horror stories?
>>23960624
Changed my profile quite a bit based on advise from you guys. Still no luck, but at least it looks better, right?
https://www.okcupid.com/profile/JCRickards
idk thought about putting my link to my instagram on my profile so they can see more pics and stuff about me than just what thd site lets you post
Anyone else have the problem where as soon as you ask about meeting the girl drops all contact? Doesn't seem to matter how long we've been messaging or how slyly/overtly I put it.
I get like an average of 7 views a day, maybe 2 or 3 messages a month, and have almost an 80% respond rate when I message. Everything is going well until I drop a, "Hey, I'm gonna go to the beach with my dog this week. Would you like to join me?" Ghosted.
I've had a little success reigniting the conversation but it almost always fruitless in the end.
>>23960701
Your profile seems alright, a little by the numbers in some sections though.
Your decent looking, I'm sure there's plenty of girls that think you're handsome... Well at least from the thumbnail, I'm not logged in and didn't see your pictures.
I think your main problem is geography. I'm not from the East coast, but that place looks like a dead zone. Maybe try stretching out to the Baltimore area.
is this better or worse than tinder?
just looking for a fuck buddy or fwb.
tinder is shit house, only get spam, and any real girls are annoying as fuck, hardly worth the effort for the shitty fuck they are
>>23962468
Maybe if you wait a little longer and make sure she's really interested first.
The guys that ask to meet quickly come off as desperate.
>>23962652
Better than tinder for me.
I'm on OkCupid looking for a fwb, so there's bound to be girls in your area doing the same.
>>23963553
Hoe long is "longer"? Ive been having the same bullshit as the previous guy and its especially infuriating since I dislike using/am bad at text chat and just want to make a good impression irl
>>23960624
https://www.okcupid.com/profile/Axle183
Looking for some input on how to put myself out there more.
Went from a success to a fail
I had this girl I was talking to online but after almost a week and at least 100 messages I suggested we meet but she blew me off with the "I just picked up more hours at work" schick. I said it was fine and maybe another time but other times where I would ask her something it just died quickly.
>>23964448
In hindsight I should have waited a bit longer before asking I probably freaked her out apparently she's introverted.
>>23964448
If she wasn't for it after a week she was probably never going to be. Unless you two are like an hour+ away
>>23964785
Yeah it was the closest I'd gotten. She lives like 25 mins away
oh man
I've used this for about a year and I just want to kill myself. First day of depression and hit me hard after I talked up a girl at my barbershop and she said she was teasing me and walked off
https://www.okcupid.com/profile/Blopbleepblip
I've redone this and recently put up half assed photos
I fall apart during the messaging phase.
https://www.okcupid.com/profile
>>23964448
> Lincoln University
I used to work at the Giant down the street from you when I was in High school haha.
>>23963553
Like I said, doesn't seem to matter how long we've been messaging. It can be as early as 5 messages or after as many as 50.
>>23962468
Maybe some of them aren't into dogs or they are a bit scared to go on a walk in the wilderness with a stranger and his dog.
I would say yes to a date like that, a nice walk is cool, but I think going for something to drink or maybe somewhere crowded and public is better.
>>23962652
I'm on there and looking for something serious, but all I got so far were one night stands with the girls I went out with, if they lead to anything more than just casual chats.
If you make your intentions clear (put casual sex on it) and be straight forward it should be easier than on tinder (depending on your location and all).
>>23963553
>>23963849
Yea, sometimes I get girls who message me and suggest meeting right after 2-3 messages, others need a week of chatting, and others don't plan on meeting at all and just keep you busy. Simply ignore those, who don't want to meet you after a week or a certain number of messages.
If you drop some hints and they don't pick up on it or say no then they are not interested or just want to keep you around in case their current guy or other dates don't work out (I have done that with some girls too).
Also: I hate such an amazing time talking to this one girl and thought there might be a chance for something serious. Then on our date we just didn't click at all, 0 chemistry, really awkward and weird date, I was so happy when it was over. I was really disappointed then, but we talked and agreed things won't work while I was walking her home.
>>23964448
>>23964462
You seem like a nice guy, if she isn't considering to meet you after that, then I doubt she ever will.
I don't get why people go on a dating site and then don't want to meet up or need weeks of chatting first.
Meeting for a coffee/tea/whatever in the afternoon in a nice cafe is nothing, I don't get what the big deal is.
And if they're anxious or whatever, then they can just write it in their profile or tell you upfront.
>>23967101
>Meeting for a coffee/tea/whatever in the afternoon in a nice cafe is nothing
This, all of my this! Why is this so hard for women
>send one milion messages
>no response other than the profile visit
alas
>>23967101
>>23963562
thankyou.
anyway youre supposed to start chatting to chicks or just standard pick up lines?
>>23967640
Start a conversation about something that pops out at you from her profile. Lets her know you read it and just didn't look at her pics.
A lot of guys seem to do that.
>>23967048
50 is quite a bit for her to ghost on you like that if it's actual conversation and more than "wyd" "nm lol".
I have a theory that some girls use dating sites for male attention because they have low self-esteem. They don't actually plan on meeting anyone.
I'm from the UK, and both this site and POF pretty much died a death when Tinder got big. I used it back in 2011 sort of time, and my experience was basically that nobody on it talks.
>>23966560
Huh small world
>>23960624
How good is online dating really? Is it just a meme or does it really help you find people with your interests? What's the chance you actually develop something special as opposed to one nice night of sex?
Long distance a problem for any of you?
I get around 30 visits a day, likes fluctuate anywhere between 5~20 (doesnt really matter since you cant see them unless you pay.), and about 4~7 messages.
I think its better for more serious relationships but the format just sucks compared to Tinder. You literally have to buy A-list for half their features to be relevant.
I would rec tinder for fwb and one night stands because the girls on tinder are more likely to meet up with you earlier.
I am a guy located in the US for anyone curious
>>23968492
I think the experience depends on the person. I'm an introvert, so I use it to meet people. It's introduced me to friends, fwbs, and bfs.
It's easier to find sex than relationships on dating sites, but it's not impossible.
Every LDR I've had failed because I like sex but am uncomfortable with open relationships.
Why am I so unpopular?
https://www.okcupid.com/profile/notasandvich
Most amount of views I've gotten in a week is 5. I have a few likes but at least two of them are prostitutes advertising their business and the others just don't interest me in the slightest
>>23966551
>https://www.okcupid.com/profile
>/profile
kek
>>23969447
>https://www.okcupid.com/profile/notasandvich
Your profile seems fine. 5 views a week is pretty ok for a guy. Just keep messaging and you should be fine.
>>23969545
Also, add "long-term dating" to your profile. If you get in too deep then just pull the "this isn't working for me" bit.
>>23969447
Also, try fucking smiling in your pictures.
https://www.okcupid.com/profile/callmeovid
>>23969881
Change your "what I'm doing with my life" and "I'm really good at" to something that people can actually respond to (and to something less alcoholic sounding).
Ovid's Metamorphoses is plural not singular (Metamorphosis). Change it if you don't want to present yourself as an idiot.
>>23969935
Oh I forgot to specify, I'm not looking for any advice on my profile, having a non-serious profile filled with stupid jokes and as little personal information as possible actually has worked wonders for me
>>23969975
At least correct the Metamorphoses thing.
>Messaging a girl
>It's going well
>Ask her if she's ever met anyone on OKC
>That was Monday
>She hasn't responded, but has been online
Well okay then. Besides her, I'm struggling trying to message girls. I have no idea what to say to them to start a conversation off.
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/leftclickmyface
Always looking to improve things!
>>23970179
1. Pick something from their profile
2. Positively comment and relate it to yourself
3. Ask a question
That's my usual template for a first message.
>>23970287
Looks pretty good to me, like the profile name. You did misspell "glallery" in the Friday night section, but I don't have any other input.
>>23970307
Thanks for the catch!
>>23969545
It's already mentioned in the "looking for" part, do I really need to add it as part of the profile somewhere?
>>23970446
No. Its just so OKC filters won't exclude you with almost every search. I thought that your profile didn't include it when I first saw it. Almost no woman will take the first step in messaging you. That's your job. Spread a wide net and hope for the best.
Also idid
Does OkCupid do account bans, email bans, or IP bans? I want to use a copyrighted image as my profile image, and I don't care if I get banned so long as it's not an IP ban.
>>23972823
IP.
No advice ugly aa
Recently had a very bad experience.
Talked to a girl for about two weeks, completely normal talks. We clicked on a bunch of stuff, other stuff not no much. We used rabbitcast to watch dumb YouTube videos for hours each day. It was great and we really started to like each other and I couldn't stop thinking about her.
Then she vanished and I slowly realized, over the next few weeks, she was a catfish who was just getting close and THOROUGHLY testing the waters, or something of that sort.
Nothing bad has happened. That was month ago. But, as someone who is pretty intelligent and extremely paranoid, it's still hard to believe it happened. And it hurt. So just be wary, anons.
Thoughts on my profile?
https://www.okcupid.com/profile/GlebGuy?cf=regular
The photos besides my headshot are for my Acting Portfolio, but I thought I should include them anyway.
>>23976235
youre a moron
i talk to a girl for like 3 days. get her number. no skype calls. no fucking sharing all this personal shit. you small talk. you make her interested. you get her number. you meet up
jesus christ
https://www.okcupid.com/profile/Wii_Tigers
How to succeed on OkCupid
Guys:
1. Be 8+/10. If not, skip to step 6.
2. Make an amazing profile, following guidelines and hints from various sources.
3. Find a girl you share some interest with then come up with an amazing and unique message to send her.
4. Get ignored, try again. Repeat until not ignored.
5. Get a date.
6. Delete app.
Girls:
1. Make a profile. Put whatever you want on it. For the most part, it literally doesn't matter what you put on there.
2. Wait for the millions of desperate guys to message you.
3. Pick the one that looks least like a rapist and go from there.
>online dating is almost as much cancer as normal dating
>>23967101
The thing is I make it abundantly clear that if you don't like dogs then I don't like you.
Beyond that, OB in San Diego is far from wilderness. It's populated enough to not have to worry about getting murdered while not being too crowded. There's also plenty of pet friendly places and bars where you can get some ice cream or something nice to eat.
I literally can't think of a more perfect casual first date.
>>23976895
She was in a different country, about two hours away by car. We both also worked, and we'd've needed to plan it out ahead of time, like adults
Does anyone else have problems seeing their visitors?
About a week ago I can't see them anymore. After clicking the tab it loads for ages and then I just get the message to upgrade to A-list to see all my visitors and everything is faded/whitened out and can't click any profiles.
>>23960624
Girls dont so shit on meetup websites they just want to post pics of themselves to see the messages they get because they are fucking full of themselves.
>>23978016
The distribution of male/females is around 50/50. I still can't comprehend how easy it is for women to get dates and men to get cockblocked.
What gives?
>>23979096
Shorter version: looks matter, top 20% of either gender get 80% of the attention.
Traditionally, men pursue women. On dating sites, this principle becomes industrialized. Women rarely initiate contact; the men have to be the ones to send that message. Men also know that part of success is playing a numbers game, so they message many women.
With an abundant number of options, women can easily screen for whatever physical looks they're into, and then consider personality and shared interests from that smaller group. I don't blame them, I'd do the same thing. In the end, that results in a smaller pool of men getting the large majority of responses.
Basically, if we're talking less than 30 years old, women got what men want and they have an advantage when it comes to starting relationships no matter what the venue.
>tfw only half the people who look at your profile like you
>tfw you realize its because of the dick
Any advice or improvements I could make?
https://www.okcupid.com/profile/Faustfirst
Also it feels like trying to get a conversation rolling is like pulling teeth 80% of the time.
Rate away /b/ros and Femanons. Any advice is more than welcome:
https://www.okcupid.com/profile/l_316
I get messages every so often and usually I can converse pretty well for a while, but 99 percent of the time, they stop replying or disabling their accounts before I can even ask them out.
>>23979254
geez i'm so sick of this perception. women will message guys they are interested in. sorry if you're boring or crazy ugly, probably not going to get very many messages and that's not some gender conspiracy. women get more messages because you guys are desperate as fuck to go on a date with anyone you find marginally attractive (oh look, men are shallow too!). 90% of the messages women get on okc are shit anyway, every time i check mine i'm pretty disgusted and just close the tab. women, including me, frequently delete their profiles because of the messages we get so it's really not that we have a million options for a date. just because a bunch of desperate guys throw themselves with you doesn't mean any of them are dateable. i know that would work for you guys, but the problem is really that you're so desperate. if we all just sent quality messages to the people we were interested in, dating sites would work great. instead, women see them as a way to cast a wider net in order to find men they are actually interested in dating, and men see them as a guaranteed way to get laid even if by some insecure chick.
I don't know what pictures to use. Suggestions?
I was told before not to use any pictures that include male friends and to show at least a little cleavage.
>>23981544
Writing an engaging and sincere message is not worth the effort. Women reply so rarely and are bombarded with options that it still has a high likelihood of going ignored. Most of the people on that site look at a couple pictures of they person they interact with and that's it.
>>23960624
ok, people say take pictures of you doing your hobbies to add more personality to your profile, but my hobby is seen as childish and weird. I collect anime figs, pokemon cards and gudetama rement. It's something I'd never give up for anyone so it's certainly a package deal. Should I take a pic of me with it or just leave it out?
am gril if that makes a difference.
Made a Plenty of Fish account because I been sucking at Tinder.
Help me out here though.
American in England here.
The one questions that KILLS all interaction with me is,
>"How long are you going to be here?"
I leave next year.
Does this mean I can't at least try at a relationship?
>>23983690
Yeah, but it's kind of important if they want a longterm thing with someone that isn't an ocean away. Which most understandably do.
Here's another question for dudes.
What kind of clichés on women's profiles should be avoided? Netflix? Baking?
>>23981080
>https://www.okcupid.com/profile/l_316
>I’m really good at
Comes across a bit creepy.
apart from that your profile is fine. PLEASE get some more flattering photos. First and third are good because you look happy but all the rest could be thrown out. Dont have photos that you clearly state are a few years old, keep up to date only ones.
>>23979934
>I am a stubborn and opinionated man who loves to argue.
I instantly hit back. The rest of your profile is fine but this as an opener? he first thing I thought was "Probably a man child who wants to be right and keeps an argument going even if he's been proven wrong just to wear someone down until they concede" aka not someone anyone wants to date.
Your pics are ok, maybe get some full body ones in a better quality?
>>23977578
delete first pic, have at least one normal looking full body up close pic. profile is fine.
>>23976885
second and fourth pic are a bit much, you could lose those and still do fine.
>I’m really good at
Seems like you're trying to prove something but its a bit cringey. especially the "I'm surprisingly tougher than I look. I can move quicker, lift heavier things and last far longer than I may appear to" bit. Maybe keep the keyboard fact and ditch the rest.
>>23970287
First pic seems really depressing. Delete it and go with the second one? profile's great
>>23983706
So am I locked down to only 1 night stands?
I'll admit, I don't think I could do long term.
But the chances of moving somewhere foreign for someone is highly unlikely unless they have literally NOTHING going on in their lives
https://www.okcupid.com/profile/algernonon
>>23983727
Short-term relationships are a thing but it's basically just a fwb.
I'll dump my profile.
https://www.okcupid.com/profile/HiddenIngenuity
I used to link to this picture in my profile till I got tired of all the messages going "Wow, I didn't know girls were like that too" or words to that extent.
Removing it, I now get two types of messages. "Hey :)" and "Why do you have to be in Canberra?"
>>23983731
Your pics are kind of a mess, though i do like the first one. Dirty mirror selfies are generally a big nono.
Your profile tells me fuck all about you.
>>23983957
Doo you have a beard or not? If you've got a beard keep both up but if you dont have a beard, lose the beard pic.
Your self summary isnt original Ive seen it a million times. just have a normal self summary. DESU your entire profile is filled with meaningless nothingness and half the reason you're getting "hey" messages is because you're not giving anyone anything to actually talk to you about. The ONLY thing I actually know about you as a person is your favourite stuff is
Book: Gone Girl
Movie: Ex Machina
Show: Fargo
Music: The Protomen - The Cover up
Food: A bacon and egg McMuffin after 12 hours of fasting
try talking about what you do in life and what you like to do when you're not doing that. any goals you have or any personality quirks you think people might find attractive and creative. You actually have to, you know, talk about yourself on dating profiles.
but you'll always get "hey" messages because they're easy. I stopped fighting them ages ago and reply to them if I find the senders profile interesting enough.
>>23983725
How would you suggest rewording it then?
I'm stubborn but I'm not an idiot, I've always been good at considering all sides or points of view, and I'm fully willing to compromise or concede a point if good enough point is raised.
I debate for fun and to learn, not to be a dick.
>>23984473
Id just delete that line. say you enjoy a good friendly debate
>>23984165
>your entire profile is filled with meaningless nothingness and half the reason you're getting "hey" messages is because you're not giving anyone anything to actually talk to you about.
Your opinion is noted, but this isn't my first rodeo. I've been using the profile on and off for quite some time and it changes semi-regularly.
I think the last time I posted it here it was taken a bit more seriously with a proper self summary. Did nothing to curb the influx of easy "hey" messages. At least this way I get the occasional question thrown at me which starts a dialogue.
You did point out something useful though, I need to fix the caption of a picture as it's now confusing.
>>23983725
Cool, cheers pal.
>>23983725
Cool, thanks for the advice, I'll work on both areas you suggested throughout this week.
>>23984491
Thanks for the input.
>Find something about their profile thats interesting
>make some comment about it
50-70% of mine flounder due to other reasons, 20% it gets a random "huh" 10% it lands on target have a conversation then nothing after.
i'd combo a stupid pickup line+something interesting on their profile. Had way better experience with a shitty pickup line.
OKcupid.com/profile/MNWKAmeansbear
Fuck my shit up
https://www.okcupid.com/profile/flannelpanel
Just got out of a long-term deal that didn't come from OkC so I'm trying to get my profile back in order.
I've been fairly successful in the past, had 2 relationships that lasted a few months and I've been on more than a few dates as well. I think it is easier for college kids in college towns.
>>23963849
Months
>starting to get steady amount of visitors
>all from dudes who probably saw my profile posted in one of these threads
This is not why I bothered to post in this thread
>>23960624
I had stopped using dating apps for a few months. I would still get visiting notifications and all that bs, check them out, start conversations and then get bored.
Back in Feb I decided that I would put up some new pics and I got views from locals that didn't interest me. Because of my location I would get views from girls in Ireland. I'd started a few conversations yet distance made it it non starter.
An Irish girl viewed me a few days after my new pics went up. I read her profile, picked up on a random bit of info and went with. We exchanged numbers really quickly and moved to whatsapp after a day or two.
I took us two weeks before we actually called each other lol, and it was during some dirty chat.
We must of talked for 6 hours solid and we declared our love for each other. It still blows my mind every time I think about that. I still get the feeling that billion little fireworks are exploding while I breathe.
I've been to Ireland twice now, and, Im going to book the boat trip in the morning to see here again.
The first date was crazy. I was there for 3 nights, and was so nervous as the boat docked. What if it went to shit, we didn't get along, or a million other things that could of fucked up.
As soon as lay eyes on her, I smiled, looked into her eyes. looked down, picked up my bag and I knew she was the one :)
A long story but I had to share. It does work.
>>23965759
You're profile is a bit bland because you don't sound passionate about any of your hobbies or goals. Throw some detail in there.
In the profile you mention being weird multiple times. How or why are you weird?
>>23983581
Every single thought out message to a girl I've sent has at least gotten a reply..
It is frustrating though how often there is little to no interest in keeping the conversation going after that though (that is, the replies often get reactional rather than constructive).
Militaryfag here
I leave this country next February.
Is it frowned upon to use dating apps despite knowing I won't be in it for the long run with the girl?
https://www.okcupid.com/profile/Olafur_S
Any advice? Other than moving out of Iceland that is. (the Icelandic dating scene; 4 guys per 1 girl, mostly single moms and girls 3x my size)
As for stories, I met my ex-gf via an Icelandic dating site. A foreigner that was moving into the country. We had messaged each other for a few weeks before she got here and I ended up picking her up at the airport and housing her the first night in a spare bedroom. Second time we met was at a summerhouse I have unlimited access to and we became a couple.
A good 4,5 year relationship ending with us parting ways on good terms. She left because she couldn't tolerate the weather here.. No prospect in her home country, so, I decided to stay and work on getting myself an apartment.
Only relationship I've been in :(
Always been curious if talking about previous relationships are a big no-no on dating profiles or during the initial phases of conversations in general. I mean, with my history I'd think it'd be a good sign to others that my relationship lasted as long as it did and that it's the only one.
https://www.okcupid.com/profile/xX_d20rollit_Xx/
I get a lot of likes from fat girls and weebs mostly. There were a few qt's but they were too far away or had pretty shit taste. No traps or femboys though which is a disappointment.
Sent someone a message and got this.
Legit?
>>23991829
Definitely not. What.
>>23991829
absolutely legit. Get these all the time. Go for it man!
>>23960624
Met a girl one time, we kissed once, but she made things really awkward. She wouldn't stop sending me depressing messages. I went to sleep one night and woke up to 5 different messages begging me to talk to her because she thought I was ignoring her. So I didn't message her back, blocked her # and facebook. She used a fake profile pretending to be her sister saying that she was in the hospital, but I just blocked her. I stopped using old after that, she was practically stalking me online, I had to block her more than once
>>23992884
Okc*
>>23991829
It looks fake my dude, maybe test and see if it's a bot by asking off topic question that it wouldn't know how to respond to.
>>23969447
You look like a fucking goblin. Maybe you should fix your face before putting yourself in public you monster.
>>23979096
>The distribution of male/females is around 50/50
no at any given time it's more like 2/3 men and 1/3 women
women keep accounts for less time, get more messages and get what they want or leave faster, guys stay on for years
>>23983678
>am gril if that makes a difference.
are you fat?
>>23983678
If you're a gril and you're not getting inundated with messages that means you're either a fatty or ugly as fuck. Get fit and start learning to look presentable if you want people to fuck you.
>>23991100
there's only 300,000 people in that whole country, ur fucked m8ty my city is 5x that size...
>>23960624
I had one on and off for two years.
Had sex with about thirty girls, maybe slightly less.
Fucked some stunners, a lot of average but passable lays, and some ugly girls. Fucked many, many 19 year olds and one full grown woman in her mid 30s who told me post-coitus that she was engaged. I was in my early/mid 20s when I was on it. 19 year old hipster types seemed to be the most prevalent as well as the most DTF. I don't know if it was my profile, the city I was in (Portland), or the age of the kind of girl who would be attracted to someone my age. Probably a combination of all three.
I found the most success with my target audience (19-21 year old hipster girls) with barebones profiles that were 99% a joke... think single lines for descriptions, don't give a fuck blow-off answers, and aggressive joking in the messaging that led directly to going out and doing something: usually a really incredibly shitty dive bar downtown populated by punks/junkies or my college's free student cinema, where I'd sneak in beer with the girl.
I rarely (as in almost never; they usually were taken off) used condoms but somehow avoided any STDs that I know of.
>>23993272
Nah i get plenty of messages, just not from people i seem to connect with. hence why i'm looking to add more personality.
also thanks to both of you for answer the question i asked in the first place.
>>23993338
lucky faggot
>>23993355
the answer is that hobby shit does not matter for girls, what matters is you not being fat and/or ugly and having something I can comment about in your profile also having photos which show you are not secretly fat (far away standing up shots) are needed
also you are free to message guys and will have a good reply rate, so go find the guys yourself
and don't be fat
>>23962468
>go to the beach with me and my dog
too much pressure breh. This implies getting in a strangers car and going on a fucking drive with them. Meet in a public neutral location where she knows she can just get up and walk off to an uber or bus/train if it goes south.
>>23993357
>lucky faggot
okay. Not really luck, I spent time experimented with a broad variety of profile types in the time I had it, and what I described was what worked best with the audience I was after.
Just trying to pass on what I learned to other anons.
Also: avoid uploading selfies. It makes it look like you have no friends. Go with photos of you with friends, outdoors if possible, or in a social situation like a bar if it has to be an indoor photo.
>>23993451
you must be good looking as well probably 8/10 face that some girls find 9/10
>>23993338
>not posting your profile
Yeah, cool story faggot.
>>23993477
I've been off since I started dating my current gf about two years ago.
If you don't want to pay attention to what I wrote, don't. I don't give a fuck...just taking about what I saw since that's the purpose of this thread.
>>23993466
nothing special.
>>23993355
If you're not connecting with them that means you're ugly as fuck and you're getting the desperate betas who would plow anything with a pussy.
>>23993543
>If you're not connecting with them that means you're ugly as fuck and you're getting the desperate betas who would plow anything with a pussy.
harsh bro
>>23983714
Still wanting an answer to this, but it seems like most of you just message any girl regardless.
https://www.okcupid.com/profile/eigentum
Maybe i should post more pictures? Write more profile information? Won't that make people less interested since you have less to talk about?
>>23993015
t-thanks
>>23995844
>selfies won't work, especially selfies taken in the dark at home by yourself
>smile, at least try and look like you're having fun and are fun to be around
Find a picture of yourself doing literally anything with some friends. You could be hunting baby seals, but if you had a smile on your face and were in a group of smiling friendly people, I guarantee the picture of you covered in seal blood holding up a dead babby seal would work better for you than the picture you posted.
This isn't an attack on you or your personality or your face, just an analysis of what women want and don't want to see in a profile picture...what looks fun vs what looks unappealing or even scary.
I have a rather odd thing going on with my profile since I rejoined OKC in the wake of my LTR ending last November. I've somehow managed to accrue 25 likes (from women) without actually getting any dates from it, which doesn't bother me hugely but it does make me think I've carved out profile which presents me as likeable. You may disagree, and I'd be interested to hear from any ladies in this thread if so, why?
Pic for proof of modest popularity.
https://www.okcupid.com/profile/nitropinealredux
>>23996911
>https://www.okcupid.com/profile/eigentum
I'm sorry but your writing style makes you come off as a tryhard faggot. And you look like Mcaulley Caulkin
>>23998418
If by 'tryhard faggot' you mean I put some effort into making my profile interesting so as to stand out from the legions of bland, generic no-effort faggots on there then sure. You might not be aware of this thing called irony though; might want to look that up as it'll help contextualise not just my profile but a vast swathe of human life. I also don't see even a passing resemblance between myself and McCaulay Caulkin so I'll just assume you're reaching for some kind of celebrity image comparison to clinch your pejorative.
>>23996911
Honestly, a girl who visits your profile isn't going to read all that. And it's hard to start a conversation when you're already given so much information about a person.
>>23998957
>Honestly, a girl who visits your profile isn't going to read all that.
Some won't, but those are likely not girls I'd want messaging me anyway. Here's a reply from one from the other month though, who obviously did:
'You're really interesting. Perhaps because we are both troubled. Perhaps because you intelligence is sexy to another intelligent human. I'm unsure. Intriguing. I also love writing. I have just buried myself in anything to avoid reality. Reality is life!!!'
>And it's hard to start a conversation when you're already given so much information about a person.
Is it? I find the inverse is true when messaging women. Blank or three-line profiles tell you nothing about someone so you're left to fill it in with assumptions on what they're actually like. I think mine makes it pretty clear what kind of person I am so people don't waste their time guessing or messaging someone who isn't their type.
>>23996911
Femanon who admittedly hasn't used OKC in years but yeah, no, you come across as pretty pretentious. Sapiosexual in particular is a huge alarm bell for someone who thinks extremely highly of themselves.
>>23999043
Fair enough. Can you offer any advice on how to come across as playfully confident in the written word and its lack of inflection without seeming pretentious? Any grandiosity is meant to be tongue-in-cheek because as a Brit it's all too easy to be self-deprecating. This is also largely how I write, think and speak there isn't much point dumbing it down to be less convoluted - they'd just find out later in person.
>>23999056
Self deprecating can be funny. Using words that read like you're trying to give the sense you've just walked out of "Pride and Prejudice" is not self deprecating, it's self important. I can talk and write academically with the best of them, but communication is about being able to connect to other people-- not show off your literary chops and big vocabulary. It just looks like you're compensating.
Consider:
>Fair enough. Can you offer any advice on how to come across as playfully confident in the written word and its lack of inflection without seeming pretentious? Any grandiosity is meant to be tongue-in-cheek because as a Brit it's all too easy to be self-deprecating. This is also largely how I write, think and speak there isn't much point dumbing it down to be less convoluted - they'd just find out later in person.
vs
>Fair enough. Can you offer any advice on how to come across as confident without seeming pretentious? It's meant to be tongue-in-cheek because as a Brit it's easy to be self-deprecating. This is also how I tend to write, think and speak, so it seems pointless to dumb it down.
Stop peppering everything you write with flowery language. It's not a purple prose competition, my dude, it's a dating site. Also you can absolutely imitate inflection and speaking with ~the written word~ if you let go of all the formal rules it seems like you're clinging to.
>>23999083
Alright, I'll see what I can prune from it. What 'formal rules' am I clinging to though?
>>23999103
Do you ever use chatspeak, draw out one letter in a word, write in all caps, use punctuation marks outside of where they belong (eg, tildes)??
>>23999113
Sure I say shit like 'lol' and 'brb' or don't capitalise words that should be. Quite a few profiles I read bemoan the lack of grammar and spelling men have so I assumed fluent writing was an asset.
>>23999130
>bemoaned
>fluent writing
>asset
Stop. Why do you keep doing this.
Having a grasp of grammar does not mean writing like you're trying to pitch your high fantasy manuscript to a publisher. It means knowing the rules and knowing when to break them to be down to earth and personable.
>>23999145
Why is using the word bemoan a problem here? That is what they are doing. It's hard not to use a word that fits the context if I happen to think of it. :/
>>23999173
Because the majority of people you meet don't say, "Oh, so-and-so bemoaned the lack of caviar at the soiree last night, it was terribly pedestrian of them." That's how you sound dude. It's pretentious.
>>23999182
Alright then. I will think on how to come across as less pretentious. The bare bones of my life aren't very interesting though. How can I spin 'I eat, sleep, write and smoke weed sometimes' into something that intrigues a woman?
>>23999201
Less is more is a philosophy that exists for a reason. I hugely prefer 'I eat, sleep, write, and smoke weed sometimes' over the wordy stuff you keep typing. If you want to beef it up then tell me what kind of food you like, what you write about, blah blah. You don't need to try to spice up your interests with big words. Be interesting on your own.
>>23999215
That's the thing though - I don't consider words using words like bemoan unusual. If one thing is true it's that I only click with a very specific type of person, so simplifying my profile may not help me as much as you're implying. I am listening to what you're saying but I can't scrub my flaws out overnight. Thanks for your advice though.
>>23999243
Using words*
