OK Cupid thread. Post your profile and tips or whatever
My tip? Don't waste your money on boost if you don't already get a few visitors on without it; it really won't make a damn bit of difference and you'll continue to wonder why you are so unpopular
>>23884364
Is that tip from personal experience?
>>23884374
Yes. I've boosted a few times during peek hours on Friday and Saturday's to see if I could increase the amount of views to my profile but have netted absolutely nothing. Just seems like a waste of money based on my experience
>>23884364
>boost
>not A-list
>not feeding the algorithm to boost your profile at peak hours
>not reading boost reviews in the forum first
How new are you?
>>23884437
>forum
how the hell do you even post in that? I've read that you can only access it if you are an active user for a certain time but I've never seen the option pop up
>>23884502
90 days. There is no GUI access to it since match.com bought the site. You have to actually use your URL bar like a big girl.
Just reactivated
https://www.okcupid.com/cuttlefishyo
>>23884437
>not feeding the algorithm to boost your profile at peak hours
What did he mean by this
okcupid.com/profile/badtasteinmovies
I don't have tips. Unsuccessful so far.
>>23884630
Believe he or she means answering the questions. Since it posts those on somewhat of a feed before others.
>>23884630
The most active users get the most exposure. Answering questions, editing your pofile, quickmatching, and uploading new pictures does the same thing as a boost.
>>23884686
Got 46 views and 26 favourites in the span of a day. A day in which i had no internet access or computer at varying points of the day
My tip: if they favorited but didnt message, they arent worth shit.
But im a bottom and i expect tops to message me
I fix some things based on recommendations from the last thread. Hopefully it's a bit less dry now.
https://www.okcupid.com/profile/JCRickards
How do I get more views on my profile?
I've tried keeping it active by editing it and adding pictures, boosting, answering questions and generally trying to improve my profile but in the past two weeks I have had very few views, maybe five in total (and that was only because I posted a link to my profile in a previous one of these threads)
Is it really just a matter of physical attractiveness and nothing else really matters?
Fuck that site. Never gotten shit off there. I ain't ugly or dumb either.
okcupid.com/profile/mycroftsbrother
>>23886689
>https://www.okcupid.com/profile/JCRickards
1. Very basic. Not a lot of information. Keep everything you have, but I recommend sprucing it up.
2. That's a good main picture, but I strongly recommend having more than one.
3. Even if you don't read a lot, I would put your favorites up. The people that read a lot will pass, and the people that don't read a lot will like that you at least found some enjoyment in something literary. Just mentioning video games and movies is off-putting.
3. I'll be honest, your biggest problem is how plain the profile is. It doesn't spark anything mentally. You're good-looking and probably have plenty of things to say, but no one could know that you have any passion for anything with your current profile.
>>23884633
1. HGTV is a good thing to mention. No one hates HGTV and everyone will have a positive little bubble in their head when they read that.
2. I recommend adding more pictures. I suppose it doesn't matter TOO much, but generally when I visit someone's profile, if I only see one picture, I don't trust the level of attractiveness. But with that husky in your main, you definitely will get some views.
3. The only criticism I have is your answers are too short and to the point. The best sorts of people like information they agree with but makes them have to think a bit. You're very literal. It's a horrible idea to be abstract throughout your whole profile, but sprinkled here and there is always good.
4. Okay, one more criticism. Needs more funny.
>>23886719
If you aren't attractive nobody is going to click your profile. Why would they?
My very first message on okc
>>23886959
But I don't think I am completely hideous. I mean I have seen uglier types get more views in a single day then I get in a week
>>23886777
If you think "not ugly" and "not dumb" are the only requirements, you probably ARE pretty dumb desu
https://www.okcupid.com/profile/jakebudin
I have plenty of messages, I had two girlfriends from here that lasted a month each. No hook ups.
I want to continue getting messages, specifically from better looking chicks, do I needa change any thing ?
https://www.okcupid.com/profile/deckofcards8/
I do pretty ok when I message someone. Don't get a lot of messages, though.
https://www.okcupid.com/profile/notasandvich/
What am I doing wrong with either my images or my profile where no one is visiting it? I got maybe six total visitors this week but that was only because I posted a link in a previous OKcupid thread.
https://www.okcupid.com/profile/emimoonster
Is the hat too off putting? I keep going back and forth about whether or not being curt and forceful is good or not.
I guess I wrote my profile so if i read it i'd wanna meet me but maybe that's not right?
just a question for all the men in this thread and also all of you on okcupid
why can't you send a decent first message?? do you even read the profiles of the women you message or nah?
>>23888302
Women don't send good messages either... or any at all.
>>23884364
Any Females on OKcupid in the Chicago area?
>>23888302
Give us an example of a "good first message". I've always been shit at it.
>>23884364
i think im gonna go with match. 60 bucks for one year, and these bitches are actually into meeting since they are also wasting money on it
>>23888314
i message people that i really like. i don't try to message anyone i'm not actually actively interested in. although quality is subjective, i have never messaged anyone with "hey" or some other variant, or anything else generic. if i message someone then it's usually to give a response to something in their profile and ask more questions about it.
75% of the messages i get are completely generic, 15% are sexual, 4% are scary, and less than 1% are worth replying to
>>23888342
and when i say a response not "oh hey i like that movie too, what other movies do you like" but something that resonated with me and made me want to know them
>>23888342
I'm not a guy but i change up the way i message pretty often depending on what i'm looking for. I find if you actually send long meaningful messages then it pretty much never works for a hook up but likewise a short curt straight forward message never works for relationships.
OKC is more for the former and tinder for the latter but sometimes it's all about the type of person you're talking too. If you come off as slutty or just there for a hookup instead of a 'soul mate' then i think that attracts those 'hey' style answers.
Also keep in mind that OKC changes its messaging system ages ago to make it work as something between instant messaging and email. If someone's online and you expect an immediate answer so you can start a convo then sending 'hey' isn't bad imo. In I'd recommend giving guys that send you short messages while your both online the benefit of the doubt for a little while. Hey could just be the introduction to a better reply.
>>23888356
That's way harder than you think. Odds are you don't have much in common with most people on OKC. Try coming up with original deep openers yourself.
If you want some insight on how men feel about it switch your profile to lesbian for a day and try messaging random girls you think men would like. It's really not easy.
https://www.okcupid.com/profile/tribalskygod
Only reply I've gotten was a awesome girl I messaged telling me she'd normally be down but she wasn't into the open relationship thing. Shame. OkC is probably not the best place for poly people or casual hookups.
Still, any feedback is appreciated, especially from femanons.
>>23884566
You forgot the /profile/ bit before your username.
I'm guessing you get a lot of messages.
>>23888251
People don't see someone wearing a hat ironically, they see a Trump supporter. I'd say take it off unless you're ok with putting off the majority of people who match with you.
I find that curt profiles have an air of hostility about them. I'm really not into hostility, so that would put me off. That being said, I can't even speak for other guys let alone lesbian girls. As it is, it doesn't come across as being too curt, but more info never hurts and gives people something to go on.
For what it's worth, you seem pretty cool. I'd be interested if you weren't gay.
>>23888302
>>23888342
I put a lot of thought into my first messages. I explore almost every corner of a profile before I open my mouth. Then I'll see they visited my profile and never hear a word back from them.
Now, they obviously don't owe me a reply, but it's still discouraging when that happens over and over again. I think a lot of guys get sick of that game and figure they have better luck with one liners, who knows. It's shit, but there it is.
>>23888380
it's not that hard if you are actually interested in the person, that's what i'm trying to say. if you're messaging tons of girls that you just want to sleep with, then yeah it is hard. but if you are reading profiles and only messaging people that you really feel that you want to talk to, it's quite easy to send those kinds of messages. i am bi, so you don't need to tell me what it is like to message women on the site. men do not respond more frequently than women do in my experience. i have gotten very few quality messages in all the time i've had an account on the site - in fact i remember the majority of them, and have made a point to respond even to the ones i did not find attractive. of the people i've met from there, 1/3 messaged me first and 2/3 i messaged first. a quality message doesn't have to be long. most long messages i have gotten have read a bit psychotic tbqh. the message my favorite guy i met on the site sent me was "i cried at a (my favorite band) show" short but interesting/engaging.
again, i am very selective about the people i message. i only message people that i am truly interested in getting to know after reading their profiles. the majority of messages that i receive are from guys who like how i look, and didn't even read my profile judging by the questions they ask when they add anything other than "how are you" or "you're cute". i have an inbox full of this shit. i literally just delete any messages without any meaningful content because there are so many of them. nobody has time for that. and "well she probably won't respond anyway" is just an excuse you make to not have to put any effort in.
>>23888412
Does it come off as a trump supporter though? I mean it says Make america gay again and the hat is actually from a pro Hillary company (although i don't care i just wanted the hat).
>>23888412
i'm poly and i wouldn't date someone with a primary partner. poly =/= open relationship
>>23888429
I think you and I go about messaging people in different ways.
I message a lot of people because i want to start conversations to see if there's a spark there. I don't really get anything from just reading someones profile and honestly I'm uncomfortable focusing so much on a certain person. I don't want to imply my standards are low but a i think a lot of people would suite me well and I'll never know if i don't try. So I try to always put as much effort in as possible but when you're messaging a lot of dead ends it gets harder to devote as much attention. IT's not really an excuse i just think it's a different tactic and neither is wrong.
I think people like me and people like you could be more compatible if we were more willing to give each other a chance.
>>23888436
Well, I didn't even see the "gay" until you pointed it out.
So yes, it does come off as a Trump supporter.
>>23888471
Hierarchical poly. Not just a free pass to fuck. Still, a lot of people, poly or otherwise, aren't ok with being secondaries. Understandable.
>>23888499
Shit. Thanks for pointing it out.
>>23888472
i don't want to date someone who is interested in many different people or compatible with many people, though. i like people who are weird or majorly different in some way from most people, super authentic people who are comfortable being exactly what they want to be and are looking for the same in other people - not people who take cues from everyone else on who to be. sorry if that comes off condescending, but i'm intensely individualistic and i just don't find that people who are "ordinary" do anything for me - there is no "spark" to be had regardless of whatever we may have in common. i can definitely tell these types of people from their profiles, they stand out quite markedly. if your profile doesn't pique my interest then 99% chance you just don't have as strong of a personality as i'm looking for.
>>23887205
>messaging any girl with no car
>>23888499
hierarchical poly is just a more fucked up version of an open relationship imo, i wouldn't really differentiate between the two but that's me. both of those are "this is the person i want to be with but i also want to date other people, just not as seriously as this person" which is committed monogamy except honest about how boring that is.
to me "true" polyamory doesn't include weird power balances because the very idea of polyamory is that you are capable of loving more than one person. if i love someone, i love them just as much as i love anyone else that i love. i don't love someone more or make some of the people that i love secondary, because then that wouldn't really be love to me. if i care about you enough to put you on rotation, then nobody else comes before or after you. everyone is equal and i think that's the only ethical way to be polyamorous tbqh
sorry if this seems critical or judgmental, i know what works for me doesn't work for everyone etc. i just don't think those two types of relationships are related and don't often get to talk with other self-identified poly people so kind of just saying what's on my mind
What's a good message to start with?
>>23888532
It's a dating site. Looking for someone you're closely compatible with then gambling time and effort on a message that's probably gonna be ignored (unless you're an 8+/10, in which case you'll get replies regardless of what you say) takes more energy than just casting a wide net and hoping someone, somewhere, bites. It's a shitty numbers game, and for some people it works, so it won't go away.
>>23888559
Lol I had this exact discussion with a relationship anarchist a few days ago. I think of it more as a spectrum or pseudo-Kinsey scale. On one end you have a traditional monogamous relationship, on the other you have relationship anarchy. Me and my partner are somewhere in the middle.
Also, we drafted the ground rules for the relationship long before either of us actually encountered the poly community and actually engaged with it and discovered that what we were doing is, in fact, an accepted form of polyamory.
>>23888472
>>23888429
you guys are literally explaining how your sex picks mates. stop arguing, because they are both the proper strategies for male and female.
>>23886786
I'll pop in some photos soon. Will work on the funny too, although that might take longer.
>>23888595
I dunno. Most of mine tend to go out like
"Hi, ____, I'm _____. [Discussion of Interest]. [Question about Interest]? [Thought about another Interest].[Question on opinion]?
So far on 4 dates so far and three of them were just from messages like, "Hi, I'm new to the area. Where would you recommend for ______ and may I take you there?"
Only person I took out on more than one date was the one that I had actual conversations with though.
>>23888412
the usual amount for a 3.5/10 female I should think. But not loads
https://www.okcupid.com/profile/cuttlefishyo
https://www.okcupid.com/profile/the_daring
So far I've had 2 relationships off that site, and plenty of dates, Could always use critique
Looking for any tips or advice
https://www.okcupid.com/profile/axle183
------------------------------------------------------------
My only slight sucess on this site was I had this really long conversation with this girl for about a week and it was going well then when I asked her out she came up some BS excuse.
>>23890353
I'd say you appeal a lot to the alt crowd. You're at least a solid 4 in that field, with decent tastes and the cuteness appeal.
You do look kinda sad though. But it doesn't look bad on you, adds more of a layer of mystery imo.
I do find there's a little too much self-deprecation in your profile. Makes a really grim read. I can't imagine that being a hook to anyone but a) people who want to prey on it and b) people who want to "fix" you (read: control you). I could be wrong about this though. Nevertheless, it's the only thing I would change.
Looking to improve my profile, anyone care to critique?
https://www.okcupid.com/profile/JavonTheHero?cf=profile
any sort of internet dating i have attempted has been useless. even desperate women on the internet aren't interested in me.
the only time i ever got a reply i was too beta for it and had to apologise and give up
>>23888120
p-please respond. Am I just to ugly to warrant even a look from 99% of the female population?
>>23891008
>>23891008
Don't down grade yourself. I might be one talk but put yourself out there. Jump in and don't worry.
>>23884364
Mainly been trying to use this for hookups
Hasn't really worked so far
>>23891182
Yeah I tried that too for a while. It seems that most people who say on their profile that they're looking for casual sex are actually not, and most people who actually are only go for Chads and Chadettes, which is kinda understandable if you think about it, especially considering that females on this site are gonna get bombarded by people looking for casual sex anyway.
A while back, either OkTrends or some related group did an experiment where they set up 10 fake OkC profiles with different perceived levels of "attractiveness"; 5 female and 5 male. Even the "least" attractive female got like 10 messages asking for sex within the two weeks they ran the experiment. Meanwhile, only the top two guys received any messages at all. Interestingly, for both genders, it was the 4/5 that received the most messages, with the 5/5 receiving almost half that number of messages.
okcupid.com/profile/LeftClickMyFace
>>23887205
>Only if I get a ride as well.
You fucked up breh
Help me, /soc/! You're my only hope!
https://www.okcupid.com/profile/disposable_alias
I need help with opening lines.
>>23895336
>I made 4 million dollars last year. How about you?
>>23894107
That first picture is fucking terrible.
>tfw the only reason your profile has had any visitors in the last few days is because you posted a link to it here
>>23898052
Yep. And people I've messaged that never said a word. I'm not even being particularly picky beyond shared interests.
Seems that this whole site is a glorified Tinder; not worth it unless you're already an 8+/10 and can find a gf/fwb or get laid just fine without getting the internet involved.
Might just wait a year til I'm more in shape and start a Chad profile.
As a mod, If you don't do silly shit like this guy, you'll be fine
Some people that get flagged, really are batshit. some are just funny
>>23895437
OK seriously. I fucking suck at openers.
Also, should I wait until the girl's online before I send a message?
>>23899270
Surely you have more horror stories than that, right? Keep them coming !
>>23898052
This.
People are viewing me from all over the US and now China. Least they're all friendly.
https://www.okcupid.com/profile/moocussmith
>>23899916
I never screencapped them, but you know what. From now on I might.
Worst one I've seen was a 53yo old guy french kissing who I presume was his Granddaughter.
I keep getting new likes but the like count stays at 32, is this a bug or are those bots.
>>23900254
The sad thing is that doesnt surprise me too much! I hope to see a thread sometime soon buddy!
>>23900258
probably bots that almost immediately get reported and deleted. Happens to me all the time
>>23900306
I will keep some for a week, see if any funny ones come up.
>talking to someone
>they seem very nice but aren't terribly attractive or interesting
>just kinda lose interest and stop messaging them
>light goes off and realise I'm this person and this is what happens to me 90% of the time, except now I actually did it to someone
Damn.
>>23901062
>I'm sorry they stole your freedom
Loves responding to messages with "tf u want u gay nerd"
www.okcupid.com/profile/dust_river
