/Poly/ thread!
This thread is dedicated to ethical alternative relationships, and who engages in them. Poly/pan/LGBT ect. Remember, ethical relationships. Cheating is not apart if this thread. And please be respectful.
I'm a 28 year old male who is married and in an open relationship, who has a girlfriend as well, just a little about me.
Questions, advice, bits of knowledge...
>>23627527
Soon to be 25yo dude in a semi-open relationship reporting in. (Semi, because fucking other dudes is off limits for my gf, girls are fine though.)
Recently we had our first threesome as a couple (gf is way more experienced than I am), let's see where it takes us from here.
>>23627556
Why are you guys doing semi?
>>23627666
>Why are you guys doing semi?
Started out as her giving me a free pass to get some experience if I ever wanted to, evolved into me being fine with her fucking other girls as well (she's bi). But when it comes to other dudes, I'm just getting really posessive. Not much I can do about it.
>>23627676
I would suggest reading the book in the pick, while it seems fine it's something that could lead to an issue at some point. Knowledge is power friend, but I do hope it continues to work! :)
>>23627694
>Knowledge is power friend, but I do hope it continues to work! :)
Thanks, anon. So far the two of us are happy with the ground rules we've established, so I guess I'll leave it be for the moment though.
20 / trans / US
idk why I'm posting in this, its just interesting to talk to others about being poly and relationship dynamics.
>>23627742
What would you like to know about? What interests you?
>>23627676
Wow that's unfair
>>23627798
I really don't have any actual questions at the moment, I just know that I've never felt like monogamous relationships appealed to me.
>>23627853
>Wow that's unfair
How come? As I said, that's what the two of us agreed on.
>>23627930
Yeah maybe she is compromising for you but you don't seem to be compromising (read: missing out) as much as she is.
>>23627958
>Yeah maybe she is compromising for you but you don't seem to be compromising (read: missing out) as much as she is.
Dunno about missing out. Currently it's mostly theory anyways, seeing as in the two years we've been togather so far, only the following happened:
>she had a session with a domme she knew
>we had a threesome involving her best friend
Neither of us are actively pursuing people at the moment.
>>23627884
It's been an interesting journey so far for myself being in an open relationship. But I've sort of realized that monogamous relationships aren't my thing. I think they can be good for so people but not for others. But being polyamorous in itself had been pretty difficult to accept and understand. I'm lucky enough to be involved with who I am and to be able to explore myself and learn.
>>23627527
>ethical
>slut
pick one
>also
there's no point in sugar coating it. being in an open marriage is a state of delusion for both parties , where by they think they are in a normal committed relationship to hide their selfish often broken needs. Ie stop kidding yourself , lose the dead weight and be single.
/thread
>>23627853
>>23627930
>>23627958
>>23627974
Hey this isn't about criticizing others relationships, shared experiences and info for those interested. Let's keep this civil.
>>23627987
That sounds nice. I mean most of trans people tend to be poly / non-monogamous, so I guess I sorta fell into it.
>>23627676
>>23627853
seconded. so she has to put up with you fucking random girls left and right but she can't do the same with dudes?
I suppose I should raise my hand in this. I'm 27, usually would be identified best as a relationship anarchist, but I've been kind of drifting into some sort of hierarchical situations over the last bit.
I usually have a fair smattering of partners, over the last bit only been maintaining one regular partner with a number of casual sex partners.
>>23627676
I don't think poly is for everyone, and it's not superior to monogamy or anything like that .. But jealousy/possessiveness is absolutely something you can work on.
Honestly, my take as another poly person is situations like that always makes me raise an eyebrow and avoid it. More often than not I find its a way for a guy to fetishize his partners bisexuality by treating it as "not a real relationship" / "it's something for me". Beyond that, I'm super uncomfortable with couples that have asymmetrical relationship rules - it's one thing if someone doesn't decide to exercise the right, it's another if someone is BLOCKED from an action that the other isn't. That being said, the fact its just "open" and not actually poly makes it better. You're probably better off titling this thread non-monogamous relationships though, because open relationships and poly relationships are different things.
I would be curious if you have talked to her (recently) on what her feelings are on not being able to engage with dudes, independent of your feelings.
>>23627884
Totally fair. Non-monogamy isn't for everyone; just like monogamy isn't for everyone.
>>23628005
Statistically, non-monogamous relationships are happier. A huge part of this is just the fact that non-monogamy requires more communication, and communication is the backbone to any relationship.
Just because it's not your cup of tea doesn't mean its illegitimate.
>>23628251
>seconded. so she has to put up with you fucking random girls left and right but she can't do the same with dudes?
First, see >>23627974. Neither of us are actively pursuing anything. I am not fucking random girls left and right. Neither is she.
Second, she has a veto power on my conquests, should she ever feel like she doesn't want me to, so she doesn't have to put up with anything.
>>23628425
>I would be curious if you have talked to her (recently) on what her feelings are on not being able to engage with dudes, independent of your feelings.
Last time we talked about the matter, she specifically stated that she doesn't feel the need to see other men. For her, the whole thing is about being able to have BDSM sessions while I am still "practicing" to be a Dom (started out like the stereotypical "I would never hurt a woman" kinda guy, but I'm working my way up there).
31m/27f/23f MFF straight/bi/bi triad here. And yeah, while we occasionally play with other girls (pic related), we aren't open to other guys. I'm married to one and we're dating the other, all live together in Burbank, CA.
Kik is LaserJesusBeard
Hi, I'm a 35 year old guy, my partner is a 28 year old female, we live together in the UK and are practically married. We've been open for over a year, done a little swinging and are now venturing towards polyamory and enjoying the journey. We're currently reading the Ethical Slut actually. We're looking to meet more poly/open people too.
>>23631235
I highly recommend reading "Opening Up: A Guide to Non-monogamous Relationships"
It's more practical/hands on than "Ethical Slut".
>>23631308
Just had that loaned to us too! :) But finishing TES first
>>23630133
That is a lot of fat people in one bed
>>23627676
>>23627853
>>23628425
I don't see how the dude's relationship is "unfair"; if the two agree upon rules, then that should be fine. It's like
"Hey if you let me fuck girls, you can fuck girls too."
"If you want to fuck girls, I want to fuck other guys."
"In that case, I won't fuck any other girls. Neither of us will fuck other people."
There are cuck relationships where the girl fucks other dudes but the guy remains willingly monogamous, so what' the problem with anon's relationship?
>>23631891
You're the guy who begged for more pics, then started saying this when I said no. It's OK, let it out.
>>23632952
There isn't any problem. I used to get a shit ton of hate for this exact reason - I felt it stemmed from knowing that there is a sex happy chick who isn't allowed to fuck them, rationality be damned.
>>23632952
As long as everything fits into the relationship contract and neither of them stray from it, it's fine. I never said that it's unfair, I said I get super fucking uncomfortable asymmetric boundaries. You don't have to exercise the right, but I do not think that you / your partner should have rights that you are blocked from being able to choose.
In regards to your last situation: There's a difference between the guy CHOOSING to be monogamous, but not blocked from it, and from being blocked from choosing.
To use an example, the person who is closest to being my primary has a boyfriend of almost eight years. He is allowed to see other girls. He does not feel the desire to do so, so he does not. EXCEPTIONALLY rarely he may exercise it if he chooses. It's his personal decision to not walk that path, not the choice of another that inhibits him from doing so.
I am far more comfortable with a situation like that than I am "commands from on high".
