All /crazies/ report in. Misery loves company. Meet friends-in-suffering, talk about your symptoms, medications and anything else which is /cray/!
Introduce Yourself:
>ASL
>Diagnosis
>Have You Been Professionally Diagnosed?
>How Long Have You Been Living W/ Your Condition
>Current Medications
>What's on Your Mind
>Would You Like to be Added to a Skype Group for /Crazies/? (Leave Skype name if so)
>Anything Else You Would Like to Add
Those suffering from substance abuse are welcome to post ITT. Please keep unnecessary negativity to a minimum. Bane-posters not welcome.
>>22761366
So this entire board
>>22761378
As much as I'd love to know the ego weaknesses of all /soc/ posters, this thread is for anons who may be looking for additional support, assistance w/ symptom management, general advice, mental illness discussion, etc. A step up from the /feels/ thread.
You know who is really mentally ill? This faggot who keeps making threads with the image.jpg filenames. You are just going all out today. You need help.
Go ahead and keep blaming Maxim for them though.
>>22761446
>soliciting mental health advice from /soc/
>ASL
23/f
>Diagnosis
ptsd
>Have You Been Professionally Diagnosed?
yes
>How Long Have You Been Living W/ Your Condition
i've just been diagnosed for a year but i've been dealing with the symptoms for probably over 13 yrs now
>Current Medications
30mg escitalopram daily
>What's on Your Mind
i have cravings for bonds that i feel i cannot attain. i find it very hard to let down my guard. i really do crave a close friendship or some type but i force myself away from it. i don't expect people to be empathetic of my behaviours, i know how stressful interacting with the mentally ill can be, especially if you cannot relate wholeheartedly. but it would just be really nice...
>Would You Like to be Added to a Skype Group for /Crazies/? (Leave Skype name if so)
not at this time
>Anything Else You Would Like to Add
i dunno, anyone who feels similar may be fun to talk to on steam or skype or something. just thought i'd throw out the line
>ASL
19/f/west coast
>Diagnosis
Borderline Personality Disorder
>Have You Been Professionally Diagnosed?
yes
>How Long Have You Been Living W/ Your Condition
I started showing symptoms in childhood
>Current Medications
Vybrid and Zyprexa
>What's on Your Mind
lonely and overwhelmed in life. yet solving my loneliness means being even more vulnerable than before
>Anything Else You Would Like to Add
not really
>>22761478
hi maxim
>ASL
24/f/UK
>Diagnosis
BPD, bulimia, addiction
>Have You Been Professionally Diagnosed?
Yes
>How Long Have You Been Living W/ Your Condition
All my life by diagnosed for 4 years
>Current Medications
I Haven't taken any in years
>What's on Your Mind
Lots of hate :)
>Would You Like to be Added to a Skype Group for /Crazies/? (Leave Skype name if so)
No
>Anything Else You Would Like to Add
Add me on kik if you want: phophon
>>22761848
My penis can help you.
i love how we're 3 girls to 0 guys so far lmao.
honestly sometimes i really do think girls would be better off as property
>>22762463
Hahah yes!
>ASL
25 m
>Diagnosis
Borderline personality disorder
>Have You Been Professionally Diagnosed?
Yes
>How Long Have You Been Living W/ Your Condition
Dunno bruh, I'm just me
>Current Medications
None
>What's on Your Mind
I seriously need to gym today
>Would You Like to be Added to a Skype Group for /Crazies/? (Leave Skype name if so)
No
>Anything Else You Would Like to Add?
I'm preddy cool
>>22762470
If that's a fantasy of yours I'm not going to fulfill it because in theory you can call the cops on me and in general be super obnoxious without giving me any resource.
>>22762449
>My penis can help you
no thanks I already want a specific penis
>>22762602
>BPD
Just the one?
>>22762529
Ya pussy
>>22762628
>Just the one?
suprisingly enough, yeah. I was going after a bunch of guys but one suicide attempted and different medications later, I've realized how damn important he is to me
>>22762660
Get dat dick and don't let go, girl! Treat it right and it'll treat you right, right?
>>22762660
Just don't get too wrapped up in him, hard as that may be. Take care of yourself yeah?
>>22762641
You're right I am that's why I'm a virgin loser at 25 year old ;_;
>>22762848
Kek
>>22762860
How about you fuck her violently instead.
>ASL
25/M/California
>Diagnoses
•Depersonalization Disorder
•treatment-resistant Major Depressive Disorder
•Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
•Generalized Anxiety Disorder (with features of panic)
•PTSD
•substance abuse
•Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder
>Have You Been Professionally Diagnosed?
Yes
>How Long Have You Been Living W/ Your Conditions
•DPD since age 10
•OCD/MDD since age 12
•GAD since age 21(panic intermittent since age 20)
•Substance abuse since age 20 (currently almost 2 moths sober)
•HPPD since age 22
•PTSD since age 24
>Current Medications
Olanzapine 5mg nightly since Feburary 2012 (I'm dependent, and it fucking sucks. Every year, likely due to the medication's probable neurotoxicity, what's left of my "soul" further evaporates, leaving me emptier of personality and rendering my life progressively more meaningless. I tried to taper off once in late 2012, and apparently did it much too fast. I had to abort when the withdrawal tinnitus got so loud I could hear it even while dreaming during my 2-3 hours per night of adrenaline-soaked semi-sleep.)
>What's on Your Mind
Death.
>Would You Like to be Added to a Skype Group for /Crazies/? (Leave Skype name if so)
I don't have Skype; also, no.
>Anything Else You Would Like to Add
Pic related is someone's rendition of me from a draw threat a while back. Apparently my expression accurately suggested the quality of my inner life.
>>22762463
A lot of them honestly would.
I'm not saying that because I wish the responsibility of another pet, just because it's true.
>>22761848
>Vybrid and Zyprexa
>Zyprexa
I'm so sorry, Anon.
>>22762874
Audible kek. Funny people shouldn't be virigns
>>22762431
Who and/or what do you hate?
>>22762480
What caused you to be evaluated for diagnosis in the first place? Did you seek a professional opinion willingly?
>>22761848
Vulnerability makes us human. It's the evil necessity to feelings. Especially love.
>>22762895
Fuck anon. They got to you early... Have you seen the same doctors all this time? When's the last time psychoanalyzed? Why PTSD? ... if you feel like answering.
>>22762998
>What caused you to be evaluated for diagnosis in the first place?
My negative thoughts were pervasive to the point of interfering with my life and relationships. I went in to chat about depression and a few months later I'm diagnosed with BPD. Still not entirely convinced it's a real thing desu.
Did you seek a professional opinion willingly?
Yeah
>>22763039
I'll reply in a little while. I've got to run to the local market.
>ASL
23/f/FL
>Diagnosis
Multiple anxiety disorders (social, existential, and a handful of shitty phobias), depression, paranoia, etc.
>Have You Been Professionally Diagnosed?
Yep
>How Long Have You Been Living W/ Your Condition
Uh, as far as I can remember
>Current Medications
None, atm.
>What's on Your Mind
... Bees?
>Would You Like to be Added to a Skype Group for /Crazies/? (Leave Skype name if so)
moonlily369 why not
>Anything Else You Would Like to Add
I am not your kawaii crazy waifu.
>>22763101
>I am not your kawaii crazy waifu.
But I was already imaging our life together.
>>22763178
I think there's a support group for that.
>>22763221
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uYnlzpSSevM
>>22763285
>ASL
28/m/eastern us
>Diagnosis
PTSD
>Have You Been Professionally Diagnosed?
Yes
>How Long Have You Been Living W/ Your Condition
Since around 2006
>Current Medications
Not taking them.
>What's on Your Mind
Work. I'm a bail bondsman/bounty hunter, so I have to keep up with a lot of people's court dates, payment plans and such.
>Would You Like to be Added to a Skype Group for /Crazies/? (Leave Skype name if so) eh, sure why not... Binarydata
>Anything Else You Would Like to Add
I feel a lot better after getting what I've done off my chest. War is hell, but it doesn't have to be the end.
>>22763065
here.
>>22763039
No, I've seen more doctors than I can even remember. As far as psychoanalysis goes, I've only ever consistently seen one therapist who subscribed to a great degree to Freudian/Jungian psychodynamic theory. I would say that I actually made the most progress in terms of insights related to my mental processes with her, despite the fact that I find Freud's approach reductionistic and largely pseudoscientific. (I have a bit more respect for Jung, who seemed to be onto something.) Unfortunately, she was out of my insurance network, and got too expensive. She was also a psychopharmacological withdrawal denialist, being pretty old school in her approach, and sharing her practice with the 80-something-year-old psychiatrist who for whatever reason thought it would be a good idea to put me on olanzapine (generic Zyprexa) and tell me not to under any circumstances research the potential side effects.
I think I was sort of primed for the development of anxiety disorders by my father's behavior spanning early-to-late childhood. My dad had an (at the time) undiagnosed thyroid condition that caused him to explode in bouts of rage. He never hit me, but would shake me while screaming in my face on a pretty much nightly basis. My mom was the primary breadwinner, so when I came home from school, my dad was the only person in the house. (I'm an only child.) He started screaming matches with my poor mom every couple of nights, usually after a couple martinis, and would sometimes take me on reckless high-speed car rides to fume after a row. He was also quite pathologically hypercritical of me and controlling until he finally got medicated when I was 11 or 12. When I was very young, he was jealous of the attention my mother gave me, and would make comments to 5-, 6-year-old me about going on "dates" (trips out to bring home pizza or whatever) with my "girlfriend" (mother). At 65, he's a lot nicer, but now he treats me like a child.
>>22763342
How's the money in that line of work? Not even sure if it's an option here but definitely something I could do.
>>22763342
Also where'd you do your fighting? I lived in Sarajevo from 90 - 96 but I've never actually been involved in combat.
>ASL
18/m/WA/OR border
>Diagnosis
GAD (no longer) and Depression
>Have you been professionally diagnosed?
Yes
>How long have you been living with your condition
2 years
Current Medications
Self medicated with supplements
What's on your mind
I feel like I'm getting better, and worse at the same time.
>Would You Like to be Added to a Skype Group for /Crazies/? (Leave Skype name if so)
Yes. Skype: Rholmy
>Anything else you would like to add
Pretty lonely. :(
>>22763039
Why PTSD? As a naïve 21-year-old, I started dating a street-drug-addicted borderline personality disordered all-around sad individual who had been abused physically, emotionally, and sexually as a child, and raped on camera at a party as a teenager. I tried to break things off with her after a month or so of dating when it became clear that we didn't have much in common (and that she seemed a little "off"), but she threatened suicide in a barrage of text messages. So I chickened out and stayed, thinking that she probably needed some support in her life. She hid her drug addiction from me for the first 5 months of our relationship. When she admitted being an addict, she also admitted she had been cheating on me for drugs. She did the whole waterworks routine, and informed me that I would break up with her "like all the others". Still pretty fucking naïve, I fell for it, and decided to give her "another chance". One day shortly thereafter, she threatened to kill herself as soon as I left her side. Not yet knowing how bad psych wards can be, and not understanding that she probably wasn't serious and just desired attention, I had her committed on a 72 hours hold. She never forgave me for that. I broke up with her when she got out, but she wouldn't leave me alone, calling and asking to hang out. When I would see her, she'd try to rope me back in with sexual advances. Then began a year-and-a-half long cycle of on-again, off-again, during which she continued to lie about her drug use and cheating. At one point, I got sick with a non-respiratory flu-like illness, and developed a bright red rash that spread from my genitals and groin up to my belly button. I also got pimple-like things on my buttocks and back. I saw 4 different doctors, who gave me 4 different possible answers. By that time, the rash that I had suspected was either herpes or HIV had gone away, and a doctor told me I just had folliculitis.
(Cont'd. below)
>ASL
20 M
>Diagnosis
Most likely Borderline personality disorder
>Have You Been Professionally Diagnosed?
Not yet, recently found out about it and noticed that I can cross off the 9 "symptoms", hoping to get help soon.
>How Long Have You Been Living W/ Your Condition
Couldn't tell you, I've been this way forever
>Current Medications
Marijuana
>What's on Your Mind
I'm in a dominant bdsm fling with my ex, I wonder if I'll ever enjoy normal sex again?
>Would You Like to be Added to a Skype Group for /Crazies/? (Leave Skype name if so)
No thanks, I'm anti social as fuck. This is actually my first post on /soc/.
>Anything Else You Would Like to Add
If you haven't tried Portillos you're missing out man
>>22763481
Wait you got PTSD because a girl was erratic? What?
>>22763505
Date a girl with BPD you will understand. It completely fucks with your head and the way you think.
This poor bastard...
>>22763542
Exceptionally crazy women can be toxic-waste levels of hazardous. (Schizophrenics, in my case.)
Especially if you really care about them.
Too bad they're always the most fun. >>22763297
>>22763542
I have BPD, I know what I'm like. It isn't exactly hard to walk away from people though so I don't really see the problem.
>>22763481
(Cont'd. from above)
I told my seemingly concerned ex that what I had was nothing to worry about. She then broke down crying, and admitted to me that she had been lying since the first time we had sex, when I had asked her if she had any infections. She said she thought I wouldn't love her if she was truthful. She explained that she actually hadn't been tested in a long time, but that she knew she was positive at least for two so-called "high risk" cancer-causing strains of HPV. (I was a smoker, and she watched me smoke for a year before telling me.) At that point, having herpes sores and undoubtedly HPV too, I figured no-one would ever find me attractive again, and that my ex was my "last chance" to have any sort of intimate companionship. Shortly after I resigned myself to being with her, she called me from Los Angeles to inform me that she had just been raped on Skid Row trying to score dope. I drove to downtown to pick her up, her makeup smeared and clothing disheveled, and drive her to a local hospital. After that saga, when I'd go to visit her in her university dorm, she'd lock herself in the bathroom and cut her wrists while I was powerless to stop her, short of breaking down the door. She was then hospitalized for trying to OD on benzos. I never knew whether she'd be dead the next time she went MIA for day or two. Eventually, she decided to transfer schools to the Pacific Northwest. I convinced her to move rather than take online classes. She wanted me to move with her. Obviously, by that time I was pretty fucking ambivalent. But I loved her, as I had been through so much with her, and had put forth so much effort trying to be a positive influence in her life. I told her I'd try to move once I graduated community college. She went north, and after a month living in a house with 3 other people, she started dating her roommate.
(Cont'd. below)
>>22763567
Rude.
True, but rude.
>>22763575
You're not necessarily like everyone else with it though. That's pretty common sense.
And in my experience, I feel like a lot of guys who are drawn towards girls like this tend to be a bit codependent.
Also being so determined to push the blame on someone else proves you aren't kidding about your condition, lol.
>>22763575
it can be difficult if you live with her and she was very clever about hiding her crazy for several years
>>22763542
i am familiar with this feel
>>22763589
My apologies, no (earnest) offense intended.
>>22761366
Holy shit, I had no idea she had such a long tongue, that's hot!
>>22763594
>You're not necessarily like everyone else with it though. That's pretty common sense.
Wasn't what I meant but I feel you
>And in my experience, I feel like a lot of guys who are drawn towards girls like this tend to be a bit codependent.
Ah
>Also being so determined to push the blame on someone else proves you aren't kidding about your condition, lol.
I'm told I can never accept I'm wrong. I gladly will the day someone shows me it's the case instead of just asserting it a million times.
>>22763655
>I'm told I can never accept I'm wrong.
Is that a joke because that's what you're doing right now. I chuckled. Even when we do you will just rationalize, change the subject, or divert it back to me. I'm so fucking used to it that girls I date now it feels so strange wgen they're agreeable and easy to get along with that I honestly get kinda bored.
>>22763385
>>22763420
There's good money if you have good business practices and treat people right. My supervising bondsman has several million now.
Mostly Baghdad and along the Tigris
>>22763679
What am I denying being wrong about exactly?
>>22763594
>I feel like a lot of guys who are drawn towards girls like this tend to be a bit codependent.
Partially true, but not wholly so.
At least in my case, I'm obsessive and have a short attention span. "Normalcy" is boring, at best, and the worst thing in the world for me is to be bored, as then I tend to be self-destructive. Not out of a desire to bring about my own doom but simply because I need a challenge (and the stimulation from it) not to be miserable. (BPT2+OCD)
Finding someone that is enough of a challenge to bring me out of my own mind is a blessing.
...wait, does that count as codependency, or a strong preference or bias towards a certain type?
Shit.
>>22763689
Very nice. Care to share any stories from work?
Were you there for the fall of Baghdad? Wild times, sorry it devolved into an insurgency instead of an actual fight.
>>22763588
(Cont'd. from above)
She kept calling me, as she had done every day since moving. (She would always cry and tell me how much she missed me.) Over the next 6 months, she would use me and her new boyfriend to play each other off of one another. When I got tired of that, I was pretty suicidal. I told her as much. She then threatened to kill herself, never being one to let an opportunity to make something not about into something her about her go to waste. When she'd visit her parents down where I live, she'd break up with her boyfriend, and try to get back together with me. Mindfucked and weak-willed on account of increasingly regular binge-drinking, I would consent, and we'd have sex. Eventually, I was getting close to graduation, and we were back together. I decided to visit her up north and decided whether or not I wanted to apply where she was going to school. Shortly after arriving in her town, she told me she didn't love me any more than her now ex-boyfriend. When I told her I was going to leave, she blew up like I had never seen, and told me she'd be much happier if I killed myself. She then demanded to be driven to her ex's house. When I dropped her off, he was just getting home from work. Before he was within earshot, she told me while staring penetratingly into my eyes that if he found out she was still using drugs (in other words, if I told him), she'd kill me.
I left immediately to her screams of "GET HIM OUT OF HERE" (referring to me).
The next time she was in town, she called me begging me for Xanax, because she had "run out". "I know you have no reason to want to do this favor", she said. She was right; but desperate to see her, I brought her Xanax. She invited me in, and spent the rest of the time I was in her place talking on the telephone excitedly to her now boyfriend-again while I pounded beers and popped Xannies. She delighted in torturing me. I was too drunk to drive home, so I spent the night. We didn't have sex.
(Cont'd. below)
I was hospitalized and diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder after taking acid, staying up and fasting for 5 days, and thinking I was the pope. Broke up with my gf. Just cut her off completely. Couldn't tell her what was going on. Age 21. It's been a year and a half since the whole ordeal.
>>22763697
You're pushing the blame on others for not being able to just "walk away" from people like you. So you're saying it's not your fault or the fault of others like you.
I've heard it a million times.
>>22763743
And a million times you missed the message apparently.
>>22763763
Just stop.
>>22763779
Stop being a needy bitch who can't detach from people. Straight up if I don't enjoy someone, I never contact them. How is this so hard? If I keep calling them seeing them despite their shittiness then that's on me isn't it?
>>22763805
We're not talking about randoms, were talking about people you've known a while and love and care about.
This is something that's incredibly easy for someone like you to do, to detach from someone and forget they exist.
>>22763728
(Cont'd. from above)
I left the next morning, and never saw her again. She'd call me once a week or so, and I'd answer. But I never called her like I used to. Eventually she asked me why I didn't call her anymore. I told her "Why do you think, Anon?"
I've had no contact with her since.
For about a year after the last time I saw her, I had vivid nightmares of her threatening to kill me. I would wake up feeling like I was full of poison, and would go straight out to buy a 24-pack of beer, a third of which I would polish off immediately with a bar so of Xanax. That combination was the only thing that offered me any relief most days. I began smoking more (a pack a day), and as my drinking spiraled out of control, it became less effective as a means of controlling my anxiety and self-hatred. I was plagued with episodes of seething rage, during which I hoped a stranger would try to start a fight with me so I'd have an excuse to kill them. Eventually, I decided to seek professional help after buying a razor that I planned to start cutting with. My insurance company's list of in-network providers offered only names and telephone numbers: no pictures, bios, or other information. I didn't know who to call. One night, I flipped out after work and had a breakdown. I just wanted to talk to a therapist, and felt that if I waited until morning, I might do something stupid, so I drove myself to the local hospital. The on-call psychiatric evaluator saw me, and after describing my symptoms, I thought he was going to set me up with a therapist. I was wrong. He told me he thought I had PTSD, and that he was going to commit me on a 72 hours hold because he feared that I was a danger to myself. In an extremely ironic turn of events, I was sent to the same psych ward that I had once had my ex sent to.
After getting out, I spent the next year drinking heavily. Two months ago, I quit.
(Cont'd. below)
>>22763723
Sure, I have a few... About a year ago, I was after a skip on a $77k bond (possession of a firearm by a felon), he was also a crack dealer. After tracking him to his drug house, we waited for him to get comfortable and surrounded his house. He started to come out, saw me and ducked into his house. He wouldn't comply with commands, and after he made it clear he didn't intend to come with me, I started busting his windows out and fogging up the house with pepper spray. He still wouldn't comply, so I readied my rifle and kicked in the door. The house was void of all furnishings except for a couch and a TV where he watched TV while he sold drugs. I saw someone to my immediate left, flagged him and got him on the ground. Spotted someone trying to hide in the kitchen, grabbed him and drug him out. He was the dealer I was looking for and the house was cleared, so I handed off my rifle to my associate and started cuffing the drug dealer. The other guy started moving a lot, so I drew my pistol and yelled at him to stop... After a lot of back and forth, I realized he was a junkie and let him go... All in all, was a good night.
Yes. As far as the insurgency, war is hell on both sides... Sadly, that's the world we live in. All we can do is learn from the past, and do what we can to help where we can.
>>22763864
(Cont'd. from above)
I had to quit my job because of the alcohol withdrawal. I haven't had a panic attack for a while now, and the withdrawals have generally gotten better. (I'm still having mild agoraphobia, vertigo and other balance/vision problems for which I'm now seeing a doctor.) I'm in therapy now, but it feels like too little, too late.
TL;DR I feel like a shell of a human being, with no motivation, no desire, no trust, and no hope for living a life whose trajectory remotely resembles the one I was on before.
>ASL
19 F USA
>Diagnosis
BPD & OCD
>Have You Been Professionally Diagnosed?
Yes
>How Long Have You Been Living W/ Your Condition
As far as I know, my entire life
>Current Medications
Currently, none
>Anything Else You Would Like to Add
Would love to make friends with BPD that understand the struggle. It's made relationships, platonic, familial and romantic, all incredibly difficult. It seems like the closer I get to someone, the more it comes out, and the harder it seems that I'm "pushing" them away. Ugh.
>>22763921
Hahaha damn good work, sounds like a great old time. Do you see yourself staying in that line of work?
I won't lie, I'm a little jealous you got to experience that bit of history. War is hell alright, what little I remember. Eating rats and being scared out of my mind when we got shelled is all that's left for the most part. Funny because I've never been able to sleep without loud music since kek.
What's the PTSD do for you? Back to wall, checking corners, that shit?
>>22762710
>Get dat dick and don't let go, girl! Treat it right and it'll treat you right, right?
Well he has so far, but the distance between us makes it difficult. plus that I have rock bottom self esteem that makes me feel not good enough for him
>>22762742
>Just don't get too wrapped up in him, hard as that may be. Take care of yourself yeah?
>tfw already bought him a $250 dollar Christmas present
>also knowing the fact that I'm so attached to him that I don't care about other guys means I'll be beyond fucked up if he dumps me or cuts contact like past guys
too late ;-;
>>22762930
kill me
>>22763039
>Vulnerability makes us human. It's the evil necessity to feelings. Especially love.
true, and I really am trying with him. doesn't help knowing he's the kind of guy that could level up anytime. I don't think he would, but just knowing he has better options kills me. but like I said, trying to put all my paranoid jealous bullshit aside and trust him and make it work
>ASL
20/F/Canada
>Diagnosis
Borderline Personality Disorder
>Have You Been Professionally Diagnosed?
Yes (self-diagnosis is a fucking joke)
>How Long Have You Been Living W/ Your Condition
Since I was a child, I guess.
>Current Medications
Teva-Escitalopram
>What's on Your Mind
Nothing much. Irrationally angry about how loud my neighbours are being right now.
>Would You Like to be Added to a Skype Group for /Crazies/? (Leave Skype name if so)
Sadshoe
>Anything Else You Would Like to Add
Not really. I don't generally talk about my disorder or tell other people because it's really embarrassing to me.
All these fucking girls coming in revealing they're mental.
No surprise there. Ain't never met a single woman that didn't have some kind of issue or hang up. I was told to never stick my dick in crazy, but they've all been cray.
>>22763976
Thanks! I definitely plan on staying in this line of work. As a civil service, bondsman save taxpayers an average of $1mil/year in costs of housing inmates.
It has it's ups and downs. Always thinking about what I could have done to save my friends, why I got to live, etc. Back to walls, corner checks, night terrors, random severe depression, issues getting to sleep... I wish I could have done more and been better at it.
>>22763061
Psychological categories are always going to be reductive, as no two people are the same. But their utility lies in their ability to explain harmful behavior or experiences in terms of general patterns that can be observed and studied more-or-less scientifically. Do you fit some sort of model to a 'T' with your behavior and feelings? Almost certainly not. But do your behaviors and experiences conform generally to a discernible pattern? Quite possibly.
>>22764050
I'm not trying to make this a competition but you seem much more damaged by what you experienced than I did. I'm not carrying any guilt about it because it was all a massive cluster fuck, totally beyond my control. Even if I'd had the capacity to make a difference it was always something bigger than myself. I think it's the same in your case in reality and really something I hope you move past. People just die in those shit situations regardless of what people do.
>>22761778
I met a 30-year old girl with similar stuff. Hooked up with her and now she calls me all the time.
Can you tell me what you'd want a stranger to do for you if you were in her position, to give her enough of a connection, friendship and support?
>>22763934
I mean no condescension but
I just wanna hug you and tell you it's gonna be okay
>>22764112
Thank you. I take it a day at a time and have only recently been open about it. I think a lot stems from the lifestyle of being in control and putting the lives of the men beside you above your own. I'm genuinely glad to see that there are people who were not ruined. It gives hope that things will get better
>>22764193
I appreciate the sentiment. Truly. I wish I felt something more when my friends/family hugged me, or when people wish me well; as it is, hugs provide about the same consolation as hugging a log would.
>>22764293
I never felt anything from or for friends and family, but out of half a dozen ex-girlfriends two made everything better with the simplest touch.
>>22764308
I dated someone like that. For some reason, I wasn't capable of letting myself trust her. (She never gave me any reason not to.) She got tired of that. Eventually, by some miracle, I realized that I did trust her. Literally the very next day, she decided to end the relationship (as I found out a month later when, after a period of slow emotional withdrawal, she "courtesy called" me).
>>22764293
Quite frankly, you're my favorite kind of human. Could I trouble you for contact info?
>>22764443
What kind of human is that?
I don't use Kik or Snapchat. I've got an OKC, if you're into that sort of thing.
>finally have the balls to tell significantly older friend true feelings after many many years
>abandonment issues which caused you to feel attached to them since childhood
>tried numerous times to forget about/bury silly adolescent memories
>have various relationships, but keep going back to it
>felt legitimate "connection" mentally, spiritually
>first person you loved unconditionally
>swore it was fucking real
>swore they felt it too but mutually put on an unspoken facade to throw everyone else off in fear of judgment
>tell them finally as adult and in turn learn suspicions were true
>didn't believe you would ever admit to those things either if they were true, moved on with their life
>they felt the same all that time ago
>and still do
>holy fuck
>present day
>they're in a committed relationship, kids
>unsatisfied with their life decisions, dream of leaving everything behind just to be in your presence once more
>refuse to be with kek
>refuse to be with parent who would choose to be absent out of pure selfishness
>disgust
>self loathing
>experience loss of faith in anything to do with love, let alone the concept of "soul mates"
>blow up on them
>end all communication out of guilt
>crippling depression
>literally ruined for any other person
>bitterly wanting to kill them for making you feel this way and for wasting years of feelings and emotional bullshit on them
>hatred grows daily with burning passion
>simultaneously holding onto the hope of seeing their beautiful face again someday
>still want them to be all right and be a great parent
>would lovingly let them take your life if only to put you out of your misery
>fantasize about the future that never will be, but mainly about suicide
>sometimes imagine choking them to death when feels resurface and rage emits
>see their face and hear their words basically every time you close your eyes at night
just
fucking
>>22764499
The interesting kind.
I'll take an email, idgaf.
everyone has bpd yikes
>ASL
29.m.urf
>Diagnosis
PTSD
bipolar
Schizo
Depression
Depersonalization
>Have You Been Professionally Diagnosed?
yeah
>How Long Have You Been Living W/ Your Condition
too long
>Current Medications
None
>What's on Your Mind
lemonade
>Would You Like to be Added to a Skype Group for /Crazies/? (Leave Skype name if so)
Maybe. I have a habit.of disappearing unannounced so dont want to trigger someone
>Anything Else You Would Like to Add
you're not alone Anons
>>22764505
Well, fuck.
If you're significantly younger, what's to say you won't meet someone else with whom you share a similar bond—one that will develop over a long period of time, and that may (if in a different way) be just as meaningful to you? That rhetorical question may seem platitudinous; but how long has it been since you told them? And exactly how old are you?
I think you could be forgiven for still wanting to see them again despite their admittedly less than admirable willingness to abandon their children.
I think they could be forgiven for wanting to rectify a perceived mistake even though the consequences of doing so would significantly affect others' lives.
Is this all not just an unfortunate case of two humans being humans? Why the hatred? Unless I misunderstood your greentext, you both hesitated to tell one another, did you not?
>ASL
18 m usa
>Diagnosis
PTSD, Depression, and ADHD
>Have You Been Professionally Diagnosed?
Yes, multiple times
>How Long Have You Been Living W/ Your Condition
Fifth grade
>Current Medications
I live in America without health insurance, and can't afford meds anymorev
>What's on Your Mind
I just want someone to hug me, and to just let me cry for once
>Would You Like to be Added to a Skype Group for /Crazies/? (Leave Skype name if so)
>Anything Else You Would Like to Add
>>22764977
Do you have supportive friends?
>>22764798
why do that when you know before you even begin, all you're doing is looking for them in another person. once you've had that person, no one else is ever going to be them. I've accepted this.
there are certain personality traits and values that develop at your formative years, I believe it's the same when it comes to attraction. you can't explain it, but those preferences are always going to be there. if you had positive experiences which impacted your life significantly during those imperative stages, you'll hold onto them forever. from that, what you like cannot be helped. and as such the feeling with another will never be as great.
I'm still young, but I doubt I'll meet anyone in my life who will surpass that person in my heart feelings-wise
. as kids our emotions are significantly heightened and all the more severe and intense, right? so, if you could go back and replace those times with different memories, maybe that would work. otherwise I don't see myself experiencing the same kind of emotions I did as a kid. and good luck recreating those.
I hate them because I can't be with them. had they not fucked up so badly and we'd both gotten over the idea of other's opinions, chances are the day would've come a lot sooner, and we would be together.
perhaps it was the (now) unnecessary obligation to keep the facade up that screwed us on it, ultimately. thus I fucked up too, instead of coming forward sooner. but admittedly, I was afraid of rejection if I'd been wrong, and wouldn't have known what to do if it cost me our bond forever.
timing was also a huge factor.
needed to be of age and shit, wasn't about to get them in trouble.
>ASL
18 / male / Washington
>Diagnosis
Depression
Anxiety
PTSD
Borderline Personality Disorder
Dissociative Identity Disorder
>Have You Been Professionally Diagnosed?
For everything but D.I.D. kinda worried to get it checked out. Dont really want to be put in a padded cell or something.
>How Long Have You Been Living W/ Your Condition
Between 4 to 6 years, depending on the condition
>Current Medications
Suppose to be taking busparone for my anxiety so i can leave my house, but i despise pills, as they have been a part of my life forever
>What's on Your Mind
How love is, in my opinion, the weirdest emotion a person can feel
>Would You Like to be Added to a Skype Group for /Crazies/? (Leave Skype name if so)
Sure, though i might be triggering to some people, if you are worried about that. Skype is NoobishExcellence
>Anything Else You Would Like to Add
Im afraid of frogs? I dont know what this area is for exactly.
>>22765468
Why do you feel that love is "weird"? Just out of curiosity.
>>22765471
Well for one, the three main chemicals activated in a person's brain when they feel love can, when introduced in excess, cause mental disorders such as schizophrenia, depression, and bipolar-like symptoms. Other than that, just the fact that no matter how its described, a person will most likely not know what love is until they have felt it. Love and hate are emotions that are taught or "gained". Not exactly hardwired.
>>22765471
Weird might not be the best word to describe it. More strange or interesting.
>>22765476
That is definitely interesting to think about. And will probably keep me up all night.
>>22765490
Well, apologies for that. Something i also find strange is that kissing is a sign of affection. We're the only species that does that. We're the only species that has a complex, drawn of mating ritual with many steps, though. So i suppose to question something as small as kissing is a bit strange in itself.
>>22763061
BPD diagnosis needs to have self harm or suicidal ideation at the very very least
>>22763061
I'm nearly convinced I'm lacking in serotonin in general, I don't like SSRIs would 5HTP be a good supplement
>>22765563
False
>>22765586
Well it used to be in 2011, the DSM might have changed.
I don't know of many people with BPD who don't at least self harm in some way
>>22765595
That's not true at all. Even in 2011 it did not require that.
>>22765599
Ok chill this is my first hand experience from multiple mental health professionals lol I didn't pull it out of the air.
It makes sense tho, the intensity of emotions with BPD will manifest itself as self destructive behaviours
>>22765604
You should go get those people fired if they are lying to you like that. All you'd have to do to disprove it is read the damn Wikipedia page for what the diagnosis required.
>>22765606
>Wiki
Sure ok, I think self analysis and first hand experience are a fair basis for that opinion, fair enough it's not in the DSM
Did that annoy you, anon?
>>22765612
The point is that this is a black and white factual thing. It's so factual that even Wikipedia can be trusted on it. I didn't say you have to take its word for it. That's the bare minimum is to look there and you didn't even do that.
BPD is something that has a definition. You can't change that based on your experience. It does not require what you said it did. It just does not. Period.
>>22765631
I didnt do that because I don't feel the need to reference wiki when discussing something very personal to me, I don't know what the basis is for your opinion other than what's written down but we all know mental health isn't black and white... ironically
>>22765650
OMFG. BPD is not something you just get to decide based on what you feel. It is very clear in black and white print what it is and is not. People got together and created the name BPD and said "this is what it is." You can't just make up whatever you want for it. Stop giving people misinformation.
>>22765569
I don't know or care, talk to a fucking doctor not me.
>>22761366
I'm a sociopath and have assburgers.
No medication, being this way is pretty cool.
Okay that's all.
>>22765676
Well fuck, I already accepted I was wrong at it wasn't in the DSM but why can't I just be entitled to my opinion.
>>22765694
LOL phwoar, didn't even need to reply really
>ASL
23/M/England
>Diagnosis
PDNOS
>Have You Been Professionally Diagnosed?
Yes
>How Long Have You Been Living W/ Your Condition
Since I can remember
>Current Medications
None
>What's on Your Mind
Mass murder
>Would You Like to be Added to a Skype Group for /Crazies/? (Leave Skype name if so)
Yes, masteridstewart
>Anything Else You Would Like to Add
Was abused as a kid, no mother or father figure whole life, want to meet someone to enable
>>22765697
Because this is a matter of fact, not opinion.
>>22765701
I've read your other posts and I was kind of responding to you as if I'd already established I thought you're an idiot. I can see how that wouldn't have come across.
>>22765707
We've accepted the universal fact of what the DSM says, but I think it's fine for me to also build my own opinion alongside that? Opinion being subjective, obviously; the DSM being objective
>>22765708
Cool, I don't care
>>22765716
Because it's objective, it is not subjective so a subjective opinion is irrelevant. Learn the difference between subjective and objective.
>>22765695
oh also add me to your weird skype group desu senpai.
bernd
lauerer
ino
remove the newlines : ^ )
>>22765719
Objectively it is irrelevant, I didn't argue that, you sound clinical and very uncreative to completely disregard subjectivity.
>>22765730
You sound like a retard who doesn't understand that the meaning of something being objective is that it is not a matter of opinion. Admitting something is objective and then saying you have an opinion of it different than what it objectively is means you don't know what objective means.
>>22765734
Why does it matter tho lol fuck! I clearly have mental health issues, you're not going to win me over
>>22766133
Learn what the word "objective" means.
>>22766134
Nah
>>22766137
0/10. Thanks for the trolling.
>>22766137
>Being willfully ignorant
Shig
>>22766139
I thought that's what we were doing
>ASL
18/ f
>Diagnosis
Bipolar 1 with rapid cycling
>Have You Been Professionally Diagnosed?
Yes, I have been followed by various professionals for over 10 years and they've always suggested it was bipolar however they were reluctant to diagnosis before I turned 18.
>How Long Have You Been Living W/ Your Condition
I would say I have been having these symptoms since I was 9.
>Current Medications
I am prescribed seroquel and depakote (valproic acid)
>What's on Your Mind
I'm sad I was born this way I guess...how am I going to get myself out of the house and go to work today? Sometimes it's just not possible yet people just tell me to try harder and to stop being lazy but that's not the problem. I'm 18 and alone, having to provide and fend for myself while having this illness, I just don't know how I'm going to make it or ever keep a job.
>Would You Like to be Added to a Skype Group for /Crazies/? (Leave Skype name if so)
Yeah I would.
>Anything Else You Would Like to Add
I'm really tired.
>>22766146
One last thing I should add is that I do NOT take my medication. I am really against being a drugged up zombie, I have taken so many pills over the years and I simply don't want to anymore. Even if it means I can't function in society for long periods of time and it hurts the every fibre of my being I refuse to be sedated into being half the person I am.
>>22766146
you need to post your skype name to get added by anyone, you realize that?
>>22766160
Oh yeah, dumb bitch. My Skype is normiecunt.
>ASL
24/m/Netherlands
>Diagnosis
PTSD, Manic depression and suicidal tendencies (love the band too!)
>Have You Been Professionally Diagnosed?
Jup, in an out of therapy since my 17th. Unfortunately most therapists are not the right person for the job.
>How Long Have You Been Living W/ Your Condition
Since 17th.
>Current Medications
Paroxetine
>What's on Your Mind
Anxious about anything and everything, lacking control over my life has pushed me into a numbing weed abuse over the years. Gradually worsening my situation. Finally took the courage to enscribe myself to rehab. Starts in a month. Eager but anxious about it.
>Would You Like to be Added to a Skype Group for /Crazies/? (Leave Skype name if so)
I guess I would, but if you want to meet up, just reply. Eventhough this is quite an ok board, it remains 4chan :'D
>Anything Else You Would Like to Add
If there's ever a doctor prescribing you Paroxetine (or Saroxan, whatever brand it is), decline. Proven to be a very addictive, and not necessarily helping, drug. As I would say my suicidal tendencies have all but deminishing, yet they're more persistent since I'm taking the drugs and way more vivid.
>>22762930
>look up zyprexa, thinking it's some fucked up medication that only crazies go on
>it's another name for olanzapine
>i take olanzapine
please tell me why you made that post, i'm scared now
>>22766198
Missed a piece on my meds. Supposed to be taking Olanzapine to get me through the night. Helped for a about a week (and only because I was strung out of my mind). After that it got me into full zombie mode. The first week after not taking it I was just as strung out as before, now that I'm not taking it anymore I feel a tad bit better.
Anti depression drugs are just sooooo annoying with all their side effects
http://strawpoll.me/5970529
Please post
Post please
Please post
Post please
>>22761478
Is it Hanz from /x/? German dude, posts a heart image or a feather, says he's looking for his wife
>ASL
22/F/USA
>Diagnosis
Things I have heard from professionals: dysthymia, ptsd, add/ocd, schizoid break, addictive personality, "an emotional processing disorder", borderline face blind
Things I think I have: Asperger's, mostly, making other minor issues more extreme
>Have You Been Professionally Diagnosed?
Yes
>How Long Have You Been Living W/ Your Condition
Since birth?
>Current Medications
N/A, cannabis if that counts
>What's on Your Mind
I've been focusing a lot on how incredibly difficult it is for me to act "normal" especially in terms of making and keeping up with friendships. Feeling hopeless.
>Would You Like to be Added to a Skype Group for /Crazies/? (Leave Skype name if so)
No
>Anything Else You Would Like to Add
Sigh.
>>22765476
>The specific combination of dopamine, oxytocin, vasopressin can cause mania, depression, or psychosis
Source? That's a claim I've never heard before.
>>22766244
Did you read >>22762895
Have you read about tardive diskinesia, type II diabetes and neuroleptic malignant syndrome (all side effects that can strike without warning and become more likely the longer you take it—the first two often being permanent, and the third being immediately life-threatening)?
Have you ever tried to taper off olanzapine? Google "olanzapine withdrawal". It's like getting off of benzos—a withdrawal that puts that of most street drugs to shame—but worse.
I can't believe how many of these fucking so-called doctors put people on antipsychotics without informing them of the potential consequences. If I had known, I never would have consented to take it. On that note, I actually feel violated by the shrink who told me to absolutely not research the side effects before taking it. I feel like a total fool for taking that fucker up on his advice.
>>22763101
What region of FL?
>>22767631
Oh, and I neglected to mention: tardive dyskinesia and neuroleptic malignant syndrome can actually be *masked* by the medication itself while the medication is causing them, meaning that you only begin to show symptoms when you *start tapering off*.
Also look up "rebound psychosis" or "tardive psychosis". If you weren't psychotic when you went *on* the drug, you may become so if, for whatever reason, you reduce your dose or stop altogether.
>>22766244
What's your dose, Anon? How long have you been taking it? Why was it prescribed?
