>be me
>good looking white male
>blue eyes blond hair
>6'0''
>not a sperglord
>CS major
>good university
>3.9+ GPA
>excellent personal projects
>good at interviewing
I watched some girl from my uni get an internship with google this summer. She's honestly so fucking stupid, but Google apparently is just interested in the fact that she has a vagina. I still landed a good internship for this summer, but not google tier (which I was going for).
If they didn't care about diversity I'd be in for sure, but that's unfortunately not the case. I'm so desperate I'm considering lying on my future job applications to say I'm bi, just so I can check the "LGBT" box. Thoughts?
>>79436636
Dude almost every fucking company here in Canada has a Pledge of Diversity page or some bullshit. Fuck it check the box.
>>79436636
No.
Real men have something called honor an integrity.
We don't lie.
Plus you don't change a broken system by adapting to it.
>>79437189
you don't change a broken system at all anon.
Go for it OP. If they want true diversity they should have a "Red Pilled" check box.
>>79436636
feel free to exploit it, pull an elizabeth warren if you can get away with it aswell.
They think they are getting a gay native american, suprise straight white aryan male.
>>79436636
Play the game check the box I checked the mixed race box and saved 15 thousand dollars on college tuition
>>79436636
Do it pussy. I expect some good stories.
>anon walks in for his interview
>boss tells him to sit down
>"So you want the job huh?"
>*unzips dick*
I do 'mixed race' if there's an option, even though im only 2% black
>have vaguely mudslime sounding last name
>everyone surprised i have blue eyes in job interview
>still get the job because i play along and never directly adress it
>once i got a job because i talked to the woman at HR and told her i could count as diversity hire due to my last name and just going along with it so they dont actually have to hire someone just because of their ethnicity
>got the job instantly after acing the a small programming test which was baby tier easy modo and really only calculting fibonacci to the 200th number
>>79436636
I'LL FUCKING SUCK A BLACKMAN'S DICK FOR A GOOD JOB I DON'T CARE ANYMORE.
I WANNA KILL PEOPLE, KILL THE POPE, FUCK OBAMA SHIT SHIT SHIT FUCK SHIT
Why the fuck would you want to work at Jewgle? They do literally nothing. They have near 100 thousand employees and not one single one of them has done one single thing since they finished google maps
>>79437830
>*unzips dick*
His dick has a zipper?
>>79438123
>Why the fuck would you want to work at Jewgle?
You make a fuck ton of money. I plan on getting an MBA after a few years, and google experience looks incredible on a resume.
>>79438123
And yet they all have great benefits and decent pay which is essentially everyone's dream scenario in the US
>>79438021
I dunno about getting aids and throat herpes but I too can't find a good job... there's nothing here and I can't afford to move.
>>79438244
It's going to look like you wasted years in google's ballpit with your latte mogadishu and macbook. Get a CS job in Estonia or Russia instead. They pay much better and you actually get to create stuff
>>79438594
>CS job in Estonia or Russia instead. They pay much better
Lmao
Do it or say you're bi
>>79436636
ive been thinking about this as well m8
you could just go a little queer dressed, slightly ambiguous haircut and claim you are bisexual
its not like theyre gonna ask you shit or check your anal virginity
if anything does arise you have a gf right now but you sometimes take a peek at dicks
>>79438594
>They pay much better
fuck off sven
you do realize a software engineer at google starts out at 6 figures, right?
>>79438594
The fuck is CS?
I've been telling everyone this for years. The only way to defeat the left isn't to fight their stupidity, but to use their own agenda against them.
We could short circuit their entire PC-hiring apparatus by all claiming to be 1/32nd injun or all claiming to be a muslim or a cock-gobbler. Make it something vague and unprovable.
And if they ask us to prove it all we have to do is cry 'discrimination' and they'll back off.
When everyone is an oppressed minority then no one is an oppressed minority.
>>79438903
If you take cost of living and quality of life into account you earn much more in Russia
>>79439056
Computer Science
>>79439085
>If you take cost of living and quality of life into account you earn much more in Russia
Dunno, guess it just depends on where you live in the US. I make $35 an hour right now (not in NY/CA) as an intern and am living like a fucking king.
>>79439057
It's fucking brilliant. I'm bisexual now.
>>79438135
HOW NEW
Like Elizabeth Warren, I've been claiming I'm Native American on every one of those bullshit Affirmative Action forms for the last twenty years since I left college. I'm convinced it got me at least one job, too.
Mixed race is super easy to lie about. Latino if you tan well. Native American isn't a lie; I was born here, and I'm an American you libfuckers.
To defeat the Jew one must learn how play the Jew's games.
I choose to identify as a muslim transgender african american female.
They cant say anything, because they would be using their white cisgender able-bodied privilege to marginalize my experiences, act islamophobic and transphobic, and opressing my experience as a gender dysphoric, racially oppressed, trans female.
Be 6', blonde/blue eye male.
Play the game, and win.
>>79436636
Just do it.
Unless you are planning to try and get famous or get in to politics, who gives a shit.
However you will be supporting statistics that this shit is more common than it really is.
Do it. If anyone asks, tell them you're bisexual but not interested in dating men at this point in time.
>>79437189
Fuck you.
>>79436636
If your so smart why not already lie about it.
>Here let me ask /pol.
You're not as smart as you think you are faggot.
Also a good way to get in is to check black under race. When you go in and they ask you about it say you identify as a black lesbian woman.
>>79437189
have fun not getting a job
>>79436636
Cheat on your taxes
Never apologize to minorities or sjws
Murder anyone who enters your house without permission
Live by these three simple rules and you will be a red blooded American man.
>working for somebody else
>>79436636
I amthinking doing this now too, Ill even say Im black just to get in there. They cant question it or they are racist kek
What if, in addition to saying I'm LGBT (bi), I say I'm part hispanic? What's the whitest south american country?
>>79439895
Argentina. HAHAHAHAHA oh fuck I make myself laugh.
>>79438135
Summer is here lads
>>79439895
>Argentina
When a resume from a white male comes in.
Eat shit crackers.
>>79439962
>Argentina
knew that was going to be the first answer kek
>>79439895
Just say you grandmother is from spain, they count as hispanic!
>>79436636
>Pretending to be LGBT
I wish I was only pretending
>>79436636
>Thoughts?
Register on gay dating sites so security check can prove your information ...
>>79436636
Go ahead and mark the black and woman box also. What are they gonna do say you aren't?
>>79440024
>discriminating against lgbt
i think we have a bigot in out hands
>>79436636
I'm actually considering identifying as gay for anything career-related. It should work fine - who is going to doubt you and risk coming off as a homophobe?
That feeling when you go through many resumes by white males to finally finding the one resume from an oppressed black woman.
>>79436636
Start a small /biz/ you bitch
>>79436636
>pretending to be a faggot so you can make the coffee at Google
What is it with this fucking generation?
>>79437189
This guy gets it.
>>79439056
Counter Strike professionals :^)
>>79437189
How do you lose your integrity by trolling a company that's discriminating against you to get a good job?
>>79437189
This
i would rather work for minimumwage than lieing about something like this, don't forget the old saying
"if you stare into the abyss long enough, the abyss stares back"
don't be that guy...
don't alter your self to appeal to a broken system
makes me really sad if people take the "easy" way even tho they have to abandon theire personality for it
>>79437189
Honor and mercy for those who deserve it.
>>79439895
Argentina duh.
>>79440268
Plus you can just show them your chinese cartoons and they'll lose all doubt they had about you being a faggot.
>>79438135
Newfag
>>79440457
you are enabling the system you fuck lord
haven't you learnt a single thing on this board or do you just come here for the memebanz
>>79436636
Honour is one thing, but i dont see how else to put an end to these nonsense diversity hires without gaming the liberals own system.
We've got to innovate, faggots.
Went to law school with a tranny. He changed his name to "Alexandria" and goes by "Alex," which is retarded as fuck because he grew tits and went through all this hormone shit just to start going by a gender-neutral name. So the retard actually lands a job interview and, since he's desperate to be employed by this point, decides to dress like a normal human being with a suit and tie. Problem is, he has long hair. The partner interviewing him tells him straight up, "You're interviewing to practice in Buttfuck, Virginia. If you show up in court with long hair these shitbird judges will shit all over you. Also, you're dressed like shit and you've got no experience but I like the cut of your jib. I'll hire you and advance your first paycheck so you can get some clothes as long as you cut your hair."
So this guy goes home and has a nice, long think about his identity and whether it's worth losing a job he got by nothing short of a miracle. He decides he'll e-mail the partner and tell him that he's transgender and that he can't cut his hair. Not surprisingly, the partner never talks to him again, and he goes on Reddit to bitch about it, then goes on Facebook to bitch about it by posting a link to his Reddit post.
This was...Shit, a long time ago. One and a half to two years ago, I'd say. As far as I know his ass is still unemployed.
Just tick the Asian box m8. Or in your case the Native American one.
They won't dare question it.
>>79437285
>Good employees ignored by big companies because they're white males
>White males decide to make their own company, hire people based on skill
>Women, foreigners and fags fuck up the first company because they're all inept
>White male company strives
>>79440662
I'm not enabling a system I'm helping to dismantle it by claiming to be gay when I'm not.
>Jews in HR think I'm gay
>don't suck a single dick
>still fuck girls
>get preferential treatment for being gay
INTEGRITY LOST
>>79436636
>I'm so desperate I'm considering lying on my future job applications to say I'm bi, just so I can check the "LGBT" box
Do people put their sexual kinks on their resume these days?
>>79437189
Fuck you. Don't play by the rules, bleed this shit system to death.
>>79440870
>white male company is prosecuted for racism
Ftfy
>>79437189
cuck
abusing the system is where it is at
i told my boss im a transman to get the job someone else would have got actually
>>79436636
If everyone checks the LGBT box, it'll eventually be removed.
>>79436636
Do it
If it worked on the 70s it works today
>>79440850
It's engineering. They don't give a shit about asians since they already have a glut of them.
>>79440703
Unless OP wants a permanent position there but they figure out he was full of shit and lied to them.
Gaming the system is one thing, getting caught in your own lies is another.
>>79437189
>Plus you don't change a broken system by adapting to it.
But you can change it by exploiting it, just look what happened to UK and EU.
>>79436891
I've never seen this, but I always check the disability box because muh ADHD.
>>79441104
Yes, I'm sure they can prove he isn't bi.
>>79440910
Yes, however it highlights how unreasonable, useless, and harmful the system really is. Say he lies and gets hired - his being gay or not doesn't affect his qualities in the workplace (skills, talents, etc.) at all. The diversity/affirmative action rules are completely unjust and enable preferential treatment toward specific demographics of people which is completely wrong.
By doing this, he is actually taking on a personal initiative to highlight a flawed and detrimental aspect of our employment/hiring process.
Do it.
>>79441006
Yeah that is the one flaw.
Is it possible to hire in a manner which wouldn't tell you the sex or race of the person you're hiring? Surely if you can proove you're doing it objectively you should be fine?
>>79441104
>Proving sexuality in 2016
>YOU CANT MAKE THIS SHIT UP
>>79441190
>You! Suck my cock!
>>79441104
And how the hell would someone 'trap' you?
> Ha! Anon has a girlfriend! I knew he wasn't bi!
> Wtf? For your information, i am in a memesexual relationship and do not bring my boipussi slaves to corporate events because they are all demisexualromantics who require full bdsm gear to be near me.
> S-sorry anon!
> :^))))))))
>>79437189
Two sides to that coin. Abuse this system and it's efficacy goes null, just maybe back to merit at that point. I still want to agree with this post.
>>79441417
The moment you hit 50 or so employees you are required by ethnic groups to have a diverse workplace or they will come after you with the media.
>>79441417
hire tokens
get some trannies, blacks, asians and mexicans and pretend they are doing important,diverse work
but they're there to keep your ass safe
>>79441104
Sexuality is fluid anon :^)
>>79436636
You don't have to lie per se. Just cuck your vocabulary; change just the connotation. Focus a lot on equality and diversity and feminism or something.
>so genetically perfect i'll never be a diversity hire.
>>79440910
no
you only cause the system to become more entrenched because you're actually good at your job
>>79441670
Start a cotton field behind the office?
>>79437189
Fuck you. If you ain't cheatin' you ain't tryin'.
>>79438135
Lurk moar.
>>79436636
Go for it. If you want the system to collapse to start anew, only choice is to game it harder than anything else.
Plus anyone has at least one jerked to some femboy on /b/ or /d/ so it's technically true.
>>79436636
Yeah you can check the box. If some gay dudes hits on you say there are not your type.
>>79436636
Not needed at all. Dude just do a cool side project and post your resume on dice.
I graduated in December 2015, traveled for a month and put my resume up on Dice the last week. I got a bunch of interviews even though I never had a cs internship (but I did a side project).
Got a great job 2 weeks after I got home. Pretty awesome.
Also - have a prof go over your resume.
>>79441941
Land is too pricy to justify the expense.
>>79442039
>Plus anyone has at least one jerked to some femboy on /b/ or /d/ so it's technically true.
If her cock is cute and feminine then is not gay.
>>79439056
CS stands for counter strike, you fucking pleb
what else would it mean?
>>79436636
WHY IS AN EMPLOYER ASKING ABOUT YOUR SEXUALITY???
Unless you're applying for a job as a porn star, that is irrelevant.
>>79436636
Leterally fauxahantas tier
>not checking "other" and writing in 100% Bavarian phenotype
>in near future burgerland you must be a special snowflake to get a job
Have you guys decided your "diversity" yet?
>>79441520
Suppose that girl he knows from college starts talking shit about him not loving the cock or something.
I'm just saying OP needs to gay up for the interview and possibly for a while after that.
>>79437189
>Plus you don't change a broken system by adapting to it.
If everyone takes advantage of a broken system then it is useless
>>79442440
It's a lie there is no box for that there is only a statement at the end that says "we don't discriminate against __"
>have slightly brow skin because 3/4th sate (people have confused me for being Kebab)
>otherwise Dutch name
>apply for internship
>guy at the company talks about how he wants diversity because it allows for multiple views on a problem
>eventually get message that I got the internship
As much as I hate social Marxism, it can help me out in shit like this
Pic related is me, I'm putting in job applications as a transgendered woman.
Don't even need a second job but I just want to see this happen.
I will document reactions and probably sue a bunch of companies for discrimination when they tell me that I can't be a woman with a beard and a penis and muscles. I mean COME ON IT'S 2016.
>>79442188
And be very liberal with your dice experience bar.
>>79436636
I just graduated high school, is it really as big of a perk as it seems to go the lgbt route?
Honestly is it even worth the trouble to suppress the desire to crossdress anymore?
>>79441061
>implying they aren't oversaturated on cocksuckers too
>>79442463
> Have you guys decided your "diversity" yet?
Yes, I identify as a digital hedgehog
>>79442626
>I will document reactions and probably sue a bunch of companies for discrimination when they tell me that I can't be a woman
So you are effectively becoming a SJW. Well done.
>>79436636
Consider the following: it may be a way some high-placed degenerate looking for people he can fuck. So your ass might end up in his hands and at the end of his cock.
>>79442463
I sexually identify as a jar of mayonnaise, I have 30 headmates and they are all Samuel L Jackson.
My pronoun is "motherfucker"
>>79436636
fuck that, just say you're part Cherokee because you have high cheek bones
Op is OK. We know you aren't lying
>>79442254
No, any sane man would do the same. But it still counts so if you say you like feminine femboy, traps and feminine shemales like that trap natalie, you're on the LGBTQTF3.14TRAP bandwagon.
>>79436636
so you are complaining about gender/sexuality being relevant while you feel your good looks are relevant?
>>79442668
>I just graduated high school, is it really as big of a perk as it seems to go the lgbt route?
yes
Speaking of which, what characteristics add or remove to your overall diversity score? What I think is
White: Large negative
Oriental Asian: Neutral unless workforce is predominantly white, then the lust for diversity positively increases score by small to moderate
Middle-Eastern: Large positive
Black: Large positive
Aboriginal: Very large positive (at least in Canada)
Mixed: Enhanced synergistic effects (i.e. final diversity score is larger than direct sum of constituents), nullification of negative effects by whiteness if a non-white race is included
Straight: Large negative
Homosexual, Bisexual: Small to moderate positive
Transexual: Large positive
Transvestite: Small negative to small positive (depends on how shit you look)
Non-binary gender: Small to moderate positive
Miscellaneous (i.e. other Tumblr "identities"): Variable, positive or negative, depending on how progressive your workplace is
Christian: Very large negative to large negative
Atheist: Neutral
Muslim: Large positive
Other: Small negative to neutral
>>79436636
>be straight
>discover tranny porn
>addicted
>end up getting to the point where I have a tranny gf
>at tech company event with my tranny gf
>meet ugly tranny representative for well-known company there
>she commends me for dating a tranny and helps get my foot in the door at said company
>mfw I get a job for being a good goy
>mfw me and my tranny gf both browse /pol/ despite being degenerate faggots
Looks like all these years of degeneracy have finally payed off. Literally all you have to do to get a job is pretend to be liberal, it's disgusting.
>>79442626
> bearded transgender
Still more plausible than you would think.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Usm7Q_4Xc7s
>>79436636
i'm tired of all these /b/ threads, can't nu- males tell their faggy life story there or reddit ? people on /pol/ are NEETS or we are actually in the real professional world kissing the economy's ass working all the time and we are pissed when were off work and don't wabt to see this gayness get the hell out i would report you but i got banned for reporting last time because of all the FUCKING CANADIAN MODS TAKING OVER THE FUCKING BOARD
how the fuck can they ban you for reporting ??? why can't they do their job
>>79443195
Kys
>>79436636
>has never filled out a job application.
>doesnt know its illegal for employer to ask sexual orientation.
>>79443278
did you just call me a nu male, you fucking nigger?
>>79443507
except they do you idiot
>>79443418
Sorry senpai I didn't know about the pornographic Jew until it was too late and I was turned into a tranny loving faggot.
>>79440307
>Be black woman in charge.
>Hire white male secretary.
>Grab his ass and rub his chest every time he comes in.
>Can't be caught for sexual harassment that doesn't exist.
>Only promote him if he can fuck me so good I forget he's a milk drinker.
>Have him raise our children.
>Dominate his whiteboi ass every time I come home from work.
>Make him attend church or I'll smite him for the good Lord.
>Hold him in my arms as he's dying of old age.
>Live out the rest of my years in solitude as a successful, independent black woman that loved her man.
>>79442626
Bahaha do it man. I wanna hear about this later
>>79436636
Silicon family is currently dealing with a lot of male programmers wearing dresses, who haven't yet had an operation, and convenient declare themselves lesbians and get girlfriends.
Yes it's a good idea. Get in on it. Do what you can. I wish I had known to call myself a sodomite or something when I applied to university.
>>79443717
>be white male
>fap to this
>tfw this will never happen in real life
>>79443717
boner stop
>>79443195
when you say tranny gf, do you mean looks like a girl with a dick or looks like a poorly executed parody of a drag queen?
>>79436636
Why the fuck not? The system you have is insane. Destroy it from within.
>>79441038
what if he sees your dick?
>>79444771
she's a girl, so its a girl's penis
>>79444087
I mean girl with a dick. All trannies look a little different from regular women, but she's passing. Even though she's a /pol/tard like me she's very friendly around other trannies, the ugly one didn't even know until she made a comment about it.
>>79438862
This. Do the same with race as well. What are they gonna do? Prove you wrong? Measure your skull? That's a PR-nightmare right there.
Just say that you're disabled. There are many easy conditions to fake that qualify as a federally-protected disability, such as major depression, and drug/alcohol addiction in remission.
>>79436636
Go for it. Who would challenge you on it? If they do challenge you, sue the shit out of them for harassment and discrimination against gays.
>>79438862
Fuck that, just go as yourself. They wouldn't dare tell you that you didn't act gay enough.
>>79437189
Meme
>Have fapped to traps before
>Can say I'm bi and technically not even be lying
Devious
>>79445382
its just to give more credibilty to your char m8
the more you believe the less spaghetti you'll drop and the less you will giggle at your leftist employer
its not indispensable tho, as long as you say you are they can't do shit about it even if you are fucking a woman in the office
>>79441890
>tick the lgbt box
>now you can be a useless retard retard at work, not enough to get fired, just bare minimum
>manipulate the opinion of co workers and company to make them realize just how the members of the scummy the LGBT community are
>devilish.
i am literally a bisexual and i wouldn't do this. do it if you want but the most important thing is working to destroy the system of non-white and female supremacy.
>>79442463
Being Asian doesn't exactly cut it in the diversity market
>>79439056
JUO ES, PELAA CS.
If a company has a checkbox for your sexual orientation you don't need to be working for them anyway.
Let me ask you, do you think schizophrenics get a break? I'm not retarded, gay or a gimp... but how do I use my shit to exploit the system other than getting neetbux? I want a job, a house of my own. Why can't I get the same break trannies have?
Why isn't the media shilling on my behalf?
>>79446175
You're gay. Enjoy your AIDS
>>79436636
Since when can your sexual orientation be a requirement for a position, outside of porn?
>>79446694
a lot of companies ask. the company im interning with now also had the checkbox.
You bring this shit down by subverting the fuck out of the system and abusing it until it doesn't work anymore. I've started doing this by default now and I have no problem getting work, if anything it's made it even easier. Usually they don't even bother to check the equal opportunities part and it just goes off to some central admin to be turned into statistics.
I just put down now in applications that I'm a 'other' gender, gay, disabled, mixed race black.
No employers ever questioned me on that point, system works, straight white males just need to find the loopholes and start subverting it.
>>79436636
>I'm considering lying on my future job applications to say I'm bi
Since when do job applications have a "sexual orientation" section?
>>79436636
Bi isn't enough. You have to be a stealth bomber.
>>79438563
I know that feel.
>>79442626
Good luck, m8.
