ITT: tell your best racist jokes/jokes you can't tell in public
I'll start
How do you starve a Black man?
You hide his food stamps under his work boots
USA/EU Open about sex and it's okay in culture if boyfriend/girlfriend have sex. ASIA Are not open about sex and are not okay with boyfriend/girlfriend sex.
Populution EU 742.5M Populution USA 318.9M Population Asia 4.427B
>>74150925
What do you call a Palestinian? An Arabi.
What does a nigger do in a farm? Everything.
>>74151473
Haha, I love that joke too man
How do you get a nigger to wear a condom?
Put a Nike logo on it.
Why do Jews have big noses?
Because air is free
What's the worst thing about being black and Jewish?
You have to sit at the back of the oven
>>74150925
He dindu nuffin.
>>74150925
What is Hannibal the Cannibal's favorite food?
Paco Taco
>>74151845
Kek
>>74150925
A kike with a boner charges into a wall.
What brwaks first?
His nose :^)
>>74150925
WW2, a German offocer visits a ckncentration camp and finds it completely empty woth just a guard sitting there.
"Soldier were are all the jews?"
The soldier feels the windnwith a wet finger
"By now they'll be over Prague I guess sir."
How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?
None.
>>74150925
Why was the medicine shipment rejected in Ethiopia?
The pills were for after dinner
>>74151845
Nice one senpai :^)
why do germans love easter?
only time they can celebrate killing jews
>>74150925
There is none like literally i can say any joke i want in public.
How do you stop five black men from raping a white woman?
Throw them a basketball.
>>74150925
An unwashed black man with bloodshot eyes walks into a wal-mart and attempts to purchase 10 packs of Black & Mild for $19.99. He reaches inside of his stolen wallet to produce a bank note with Harriet Tubman's disapproving demeanor adorning it. The cashier says, "Sorry, I can't accept that."
"Bixnood azz motha fuckin why not nigga ass homo bitch?"
"You still need to pay us $7.99 if you're getting all of these."
>>74152030
hahaha oh fuck
>>74152035
double kek
>>74150925
What's the difference between a run over dog and a run over nigger?
Skidmarks
What do you call a bus of niggers falling off a cliff?
A good start.
What do you call an empty seat on said bus?
A crying shame.
Why are all the niggers such good runners?
All the slow ones are in prison.
What's a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross country.
Why does Mexico always do so poorly in the Olympics?
Every one there who could run, swim, or jump already went north.
>>74150925
Here's and old ass one.
What's the difference between a jew and a pizza?
Pizzas don't scream when you put them in the oven.
How was copper wire invented?
>Two Jews fighting over a penny.
Have you ever tasted Ethiopian food?
[spoiler]Neither have they
>>74150925
What's the difference between a black man and a pizza?
A pizza can feed a family.
Do baru wchodzi czarnuch żyd i arab
Barman podnosi wzrok i mówi
Wypierdalac
>>74151845
>black & jewish
at least it's not a womyn
how many jews can you fit in a mini?
two in the back two in the front and six million in the ash tray
>>74152279
Made me Kek irl
what's the difference between black jews and the ''white'' jews? - The black ones have to sit in the back of the gas chamber
>>74152172
haha thanks
What's the difference between the Dresden bombing and a German comedian?
Only the first can make you laugh.
What separate mankind from animals ?
The mediterranean sea
What's the difference between A Mexican and a bench?
A bench can support a family of 4
>>74151845
ah, you beat me to it
>>74152360
ayyy lmao
how many jews fit in a car?
3 in the back, 2 in the front and 6 million in the ashtray
what is the jew doing in the ashtray?
genealogy
>>74152288
kek
>>74152317
I mean six million jews worth of ashes would fill up the car atleast
How come Mexico has a higher obesity rate than the US?
>Only the thin spics were fit enough to hop the border.
>>74152167
I don't get it.
>>74152345
my fucking sides
>>74152356
Top kek
What do you call a black priest?
HOLY SHIT
how many jews does it take to fix an oven?
i dont know they stopped trying after six million
>>74152439
A nigress $20 is only worth $12.
How do you convice a jew to work out?
You bring then into a round room and tell them there is a shekel on the corner
>>74152288
>>74152425
You didnt think that through, didnt you?
>>74152439
during slavery black people only counted as a fraction of a white person
>>74150925
How do you get an abbo pregnant?
Cum on a rock and let the flies get at it.
>>74151473
That's because in Asia whenever you fuck you gotta make kids.
A nigger walks into a bar with a exotic parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says "Where did you get that thing?" The parrot says "Africa, they're all over the fucking place."
>>74152520
Jews trying to make us think they're dumb now, eh? Fuck off, kike, we know you're smart.
>>74152439
3/5ths Compromise.
>>74152439
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three-Fifths_Compromise
joke needs work though
how do you start a rave in israel?
you tape a shekel to the roof
What's blue and sits on my front porch?
My nigger, I'll paint him any color I want.
Don't forget guys, fucking your cousin is mandatory in islam
How do Muslims practice safe sex?
They mark the camels that kick
A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?” “Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!”
>>74152121
Yea same here, tell your best ones anyway! =^)
Muhammed: "Doctor, why do I allways cry when I fuck a white girl?"
Doctor: "You might be allergic to pepperspray"
What's 5 T*rks stand ing by the street?
A guardrail.
What do you do when you see a t*rk dying in the street?
Stop laughing and reload.
How long does a football match between Germany and Italy last?
90 minutes plus overtime.
How long does a football match between Germany and Ethiopia last?
Until the grass is gone.
>>74152167
>>74152439
>>74152575
The goyin know! Shut it down Shlomo!
>>74152345
DELETE THIS
>>74152531
nope
>>74152619
Hahahaha nice
>>74151845
Kek'd, cheers m8
Afganistan was the first country to use condoms by using goat intestines.
The British refined the invention by taking the intestines out of the goat before use.
What's the difference between a Muslim and a vampire ?
At one point the vampire stops being blood thirsty
What's long and black?
The unemployment line.
>>74152660
>What's 5 T*rks stand ing by the street?
>A guardrail.
explain this one
>>74152791
Kek.
Nice one mate :^)
how do you kill 1000 flies in one hit?
you smash a somalians head in
How do stop a niglet from jumping on the bed?
Put velcro on the ceiling.
So why is the landfill so well-lit on a Saturday night?
It's market evening for the Turks.
What do apples and niggers have in common?
They both hang on trees.
How does an Ethiopian fall out of a tree?
Whirling
What do you call 1000 jews on a train?
>whatever you want, they're never coming back.
Due to political correctness, you aren't allowed to say "black paint" any more.
Instead, you should say "Leroy, please paint that wall"
>>74152345
Damn Germany, how does it feel to be roasted by a Jew?
A binman is doing his rounds and after a few weeks notices that a certain house hasn't been putting out their refuse.
Being the compassionate sort, he decides to knock on the door.
After ages and ages of knocking a flustered looking Chinaman finally answers the door.
"Where's ya bin?" asks the binman.
"uuhh sowwy I bin on toilet" comes to reply.
"No no no, where's ya dustbin mate?"
"I told you, I dust bin on toilet" replies the chinaman worriedly.
"Mate you don't understand, where's your wheeliebin?" explains the binman in frustration.
"Okay okay, I wheeliebin havin a wank".
Tyrone: "Mom, I have the biggest penis in third grade, is that cuz I'm black?"
Mom: "No, that's because you're nineteen."
What do you call a nigger in a suit hanging in a tree?
Branch manager.
how does a somalian lose 50 pounds?
take a shower
>>74152931
It's not the first story they've tried to pin on them so I guess he's used to it.
How do you get ten niggers in a car?
>throw a welfare check in the car.
How do you get them out?
>throw in a job application.
Whats white on top and black on the bottom?
Society.
Did you hear the score for today's Olympic volleyball match?
USA: 8, Ethiopia: Didn't
How long does it take a black woman to shit?
>9 months
Why do nigger carry a turd in their wallet?
>identification
Why are black people so tall?
>their knee grows
The London Thames river police stop two Pakistani gentlemen in a rowing boat,
rowing towards central London.
"The captain gets on the loudhailer and shouts "Ahoy, small craft, where
are you heading?"
One of the Pakistani gentlemen stands up and shouts, "We are invading the United Kingdom!"
The crew of the Police launch all start laughing and when the captain
finally stops howling, he gets back on the loudhailer and says "Just the
two of you then?"
The Pakistani gentleman stands up again and shouts, "No, we`re just the last two. The rest are already here!
What's yellow outside, black inside and funny as hell?
>a schoolbus full of black kids falling down a cliff
>>74153148
Made me sad tho
What does an abo woman use as a vibrator?
- a beer bottle full of blow flies
How long does it take an abo woman to take a shit?
- nine months
What do you call an abo going down a waterslide?
- sewerage
www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkjPbu8A3Dk
>>74150925
What is the shortest book in the world?
"Niggers I met yachting."
>>74150925
why is aspirin white?
...it works
Notice on Italian buses.
'Don't talk to the driver, he needs his hands.'
A black man and a black woman had a child. The child was white. How is this possible?
>When you multiply two negatives you get a positive.
>>74153197
You have to laugh through the tears Giuseppe
>>74152819
Lol what the fuck is a guardrail for smartypoo
How do you get a nignog out of a tree?
Cut the rope-maybe too obvious for /pol/ but hey
Why do nigs smell so bad?
So blind people know who to hate.
Cop to driver: Why's there blood all over your car?
Driver: I ran over a nigger
Cop: I guess, but why's it also covered with mud?
Driver: I only cought him after a couple miles in the fields
Thank you all for making me laugh before bed
It's 3 am, keep this thread alive please
I'll make another one tommarow
>>74152167
Oh I get it. Americans add taxes ad the counter
>>74152288
Hahahahahaha, a screen door on submarine
You can only reply to this post if you think you can offend me with an antisemitic joke.
A white woman meets a handsome black man at a bar and decides to let him go home with her. At the door she reaches into his pants and whispers seductively "show me what they say about black men is true"
So he stabs her 10 times and steals her purse
Two Latvian look at clouds. One see two potatoes. One see impossible dream.
Is same cloud.
Questioning: Why did chicken cross road?
Answering: I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents’ farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers rape her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.
What's the difference between the UK and Pakistan?
[spoiler]Nothing[/spoiler]
>>74153619
>>74153675
I like your jokes
>>74152931
its okay the jews still need 5999999 more roastings before they are equal
>>74153741
Latvian walk into bar with mule. Bartender say, “Why so long face?” Latvian say, “I was thinking of my daughter. She has been lie with soldier for potato feed baby. “
what do you call an abo carrying a sheet of tin under his arm?
a first home buyer
>>74152656
I like this one.
>>74153480
>implying European Jews are even Semites
What happens to a jewish man if he walks into a wall with a full erection? He breaks his nose
>>74153763
don't stop
>>74153723
Two Latvian look at sun. Is not sun, but nuclear reactor meltdown. Latvian happy because maybe now warm enough to plant potato.
>>74153556
Kek
>>74153846
>implying European Jews are even Semites
I said offend not compliment.
funny joke tho
One day, hear knock on door.
Man ask “Who is?”
“Is potato man, I come around to give free potato”
Man is very excite and opens door.
Is not potato man, is secret police.
>>74152913
Kek
>>74153480
Why do Jews have big noses?
Air is free.
How do you get a Jew girls number?
Look at her arm.
How many Latvian is take screw in light bulb?
25. One screw in, 24 ride bicycle generator for 1-hour shift. But time probably better spend search food.
>>74153923
Heard both in middle school
>>74153863
>>74153907
>>74153961
GOLD
A black kid comes home from school and tells his mum “Mum I’ve got the biggest penis in the 3rd grade, is it because I'm black?” She replies “No you Fuckwit, it’s because you’re 19.”
>>74150925
I like my women like I like my whiskey, aged 12 years and mixed up with coke.
and
I like my women like I like my coffee, black, bitter, and fresh off the boat from Africa.
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Latvian.
Latvian who?
Please open door. Is cold.
Maybe you'll appreciate this too.
How many feminists do you need to change a lightbulb?
About three who will angrily blog about it and another twenty to send angry tweets before the university maintenance guy comes over and does it for them.
>>74153480
"Oh for fuck's sake, Heinrich. I asked you for a GLASS of JUICE"
Three Latvian are kome together to diskuss life. Meetings of three or more is prohibited and all are shot by glorious politburo.
>>74154048
hhahahahahah wtf m8
>>74154044
I like my women like I like my coffee, ground up in the freezer
>>74150925
>Whats worse than the holocaust?
Six million jews.
>How did German men pick up Jewish women in the 1940s?
With a dustpan and brush
>Whats the best thing to ever come out of Auschwitz?
An empty train.
>Why do German showers have 11 holes?
Jews only have 10 fingers.
>Whats the worst part of the Holocaust?
It never happened.
What's the difference between Santa and a jew?
A jew goes up the chimney.
Hey I know, I should post some more jokes about Latvians and potatoes. They're clever and original
Latvian man is hungry. He steal bread to feed family. Get home, find all family have sent Siberia! “More bread for me,” man think. But bread have worm.
>>74154018
Whats the difference between the Scouts and the Jews?
Scouts come back from camp.
What did the Jewish pedo say the child?
Want to buy some candy?
So Hitler and Stalin are sitting at a bar, chatting about their successes and failures. A guy pulls up a stool next to them, sits down and orders a beer.
He leans over, and extends his hand, and says,
"Hey, my name's Phil. How's it going?"
"Vell, I'm Hitler, and dis eez Schtalin. Ve are talking about a great undertaking. Ve are going to kill six million Jews, and a bicycle repairman.."
"Jeez, why a bicycle repairman?"
Hitler turns to Stalin, and smirks -
"Schee Schtalin! I told you no von cares about ze Jews!"
>>74154093
How do you define a queer Jew?
He prefers women to money
>>74154125
>>74154068
don't be jelly
your jokes were good too straya
>>74154023
>black kid
>school
What's the escape speed of a jew ?
Height of chimney*speed of wind
>>74154125
And totally not ripped out of Polandball ,up to the wording.
Why do niggers have white palms?
Because everyone has a little good in them
>>74154142
Quit while you're ahead.
>>74154152
Heard two of them in school too(last one is a classic) but the second one is the funniest so far
>>74152356
my sides
The Polish National Lottery is called, and the winner is a 95 year old Jewish man for Auswitzch. As he stands with the cheque at the press conference, he's asked if he'd like to make any announcements.
"I'd personally like to thank Adolf Hitler," he declares. Gasps and awkward silence spreads throughout the room, as the geriatric slowly rolls up with sleeve to reveal his tattoo.
"For giving me the winning numbers."
An Englishman, a Welshman and a Pakistani man were sat in the waiting room of the maternity ward at the local hospital.
A nurse comes out and says to the men "I'm sorry, but there's a been a mix-up and we don't know which baby belongs to which mother. Any chance one of you could come in and see if you can help?"
The Englishman stands up and says that he'll help. He walks into the ward and, a couple of minutes later walks out with what is obviously a Pakistani baby. The Pakistani man stands up and shouts "What do you think you're doing?!"
And the Englishman said "Look, one of those babies in there is Welsh, and I'm not taking any chances."
they ask a kurd: are you good at math?
he said: well, i can divide
>>74151473
Can't wait for you pieces of literal shit to run out of groundwater due to overpopulation.
>Jokes on me, apparantly
Do you know anything about Ethiopian cuisine?
No?
Well neither do they!
so it's the mid-term assessment at the soviet diplomatic school, where all soviets diplomats must train or go to the gulag. the assessor hands out the test.
"so comarades, here is the test. you must write a letter to an african head of state regarding the violation of their soveriegnty by a soviet warship. use everything you have learnt so far. good luck comrades!"
the students diligently writes their letters and hand them in. after marking them, their teacher returns their assessments:
"well done comrades!" the teacher says. "you have all passed! but you must remember next time that motherfucker is one word, get fucked is two and that nigger must be capitalised, after all, you are talking to a soveriegn head of state."
>>74152356
Lol
>>74154152
Got me.
>>74153907
dying
>>74150925
Ahmed, Muhammad and Aziz are in car, who's driving?
The police.
>>74154234
Why are Jewish men circumcised?
Because the women won't touch anything unless its at least 20% off.
Whats the difference between a jew and a canoe?
Canoes sometimes tip.
What do you call a Ham joint at half price?
A Jewish dilema.
What do you call the million man march if it rained that day?
Gorillas in the myst
semi-relevant:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mN3z3eSVG7A
>>74150925
>Gypsie woman to her husband: I think i am pregnant
>What makes you think that?
>Becuase this morning when i was in the shower and was washing my pussy someone stole the soap
>>74154301
What's big round and hates Turkey?
The world
How do you fit 6 million jews in a volkswagen beetle?
In the ashtray.
What's the difference between Santa and the jews?
Santa comes - down - the chimney.
>>74154189
who fucking cares, they're funny. this is a joke thread, not an everything has to be made up by the poster thread.
>>74150925
How do you save the jews?
Turn off the gas.
How do you save the world?
Turn the gas back on.
Have you heard about the new Jewish car?
It stops on a dime AND picks it up.
---------------------------
How was copper wire invented?
Two jews fighting over a penny.
Do you know why Hitler killed himself?
He just got his gas bill.
>>74154234
What do you call a Jew who uses /pol/?
Auschwistic
What do black men do after sex?
15 to life
>>74154649
u got me
>>74154649
KEK
What do you call a giant planet composed of deadly gases?
Jewpiter
>>74152670
>jus' about' three fiddy
>>74153148
>loudhailer
This alone made me laugh
What do you say to a black man wearing a uniform?
I'll take a Big Mac, large fries and a coke.
What's big, black, long and very smelly?
The waiting line at the welfare office.
Why are there no mexicans at the Olympics?
Because those who can run fast and jump high already became Americans.
>>74153387
Your fucking guardrail joke still doesn't make any sense. They're there to stop cars from going off a cliff.
>>74152232
kek. good one
What is the worst thing you can call a black person that starts with N and ends in an R?
Neighbor
What do niggers and bikes have in common?
They both work best with a chain on.
Why do the niggers stink?
So that blind people can hate them too.
What's running faster than a nigger holding a TV under his arm?
His little brother holding the DVD player.
What would Martin Luther King be if he was white?
Alive.
Why are niggers so much better at basketball than whites?
They trained a lot in jail.
>>74153885
Why did the jewish woman have a miscarriage?
she walked past a penny
Why can't you find loose change on the streets of jerusalem?
Why do you fucking think?
>>74152575
the shekel lust is grater than anything else
How was the Grand Canyon formed?
A jew dropped a coin in the desert.
>>74152931
It´s ok, only 5999999 roastings left until we are even.
Oh wait, it´s 6000000 again now.
Why do white people own a lot of pets?
Because Lincoln didn't allow them to own people anymore.
I've made many white people laugh at that joke.
>>74152356
Added to my repertoire.
Why did so many niggers die in Vietnam?
When the sergeant yelled 'get down!' they'd start dancing.
>>74153885
Oh shit we got an edgy jew faggot here!!
How many cops does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None. They just beat the room for being black.
>>74155225
God dammit. I'm guilty of hearing Get down on it in my head.
>>74155250
It hurt but it's not a joke so it doesn't count
>>74152437
Quality.
>>74150925
Why are there so many trees in Harlem?
Public transit.
Eva comes home to her family's secret camp in rural Argentina, the last white nation on Earth. She visits her great-grandfather, now well past a century in age, kept alive due to freakish science.
"Can you get an old man a drink," he croaks with a smile.
"Not a problem," Eva cheerfully, walking over to the fridge. "Water, milk?"
"I think there's some OJ lying around," he replies.
"There's none in here," she says, searching all the shelves. Then she tries the freezer, just to be sure, and maybe the pantry. Finally she finds what she was looking for.
"Opa, you're getting senile," she laughs. "You put the juice in the oven again."
What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.
>>74153281
loled
>>74152232
kak
>>74151473
>I never heard of contraception methods
>I only fuck my wife once every 5 years because i can't affoard to rise a turd at the moment.
>>74153273
Bayer master race
>>74155125
>>74153759
shit is fire
Did you hear about the new Jewish tire company Firestein?
Their tires not only stop on a dime but pick them up.
>>74154949
Underrated
>>74150925
So we are back in 1944 in one of THE "Camps" and the comandant make a special day with a competition who ever can do it can leave free the camp.
The competition is to swimm in a 15m long pool fill with acid.
So first one starts you see his skin melting 5 m 10m and you hear only bloob bloob ...
The second starts he take a step back and jump in but twists his arm by doings so and could not swimm more than 10 m befor he drown.
The third one start the skin starts to melt you see that view of his fingers are gone but he makes it and goes up on the other side of the pool a sec later the comasnder come and talk to him: "Nice try but that was defenetly a false start."
What was the worst part about the Holocaust?
The fact that it never happened.
>>74154649
>>74155412
Nice one
So yesterday I was walking in my neighbourhood when suddenly a nigger ran past me with a large tv in his hands. I panicked and thought it was mine, but when I got back home, he was still locked up in the basement.
>>74152574
fugg :D:D
>>74150925
How does a jew calculate his escape from Auswitz?
Height of chimney * speed of wind
>>74153759
>still believing in the holohoax
>>74154189
I was going to post that joke , wp m8
what's black and long?
>the unemployment line
how do you stop 5 black men from raping a woman?
>throw a basketball in the middle
why is suicide illegal?
>destruction of government property
what's black and never works?
>decaffeinated coffee you racist bastard
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbinNj5cZSg
>>74150925
Why do black people smell so bad?
So blind people can hate them too.
>>74151473
Designated street has free wifi eh Sanjeet?
>>74152288
Hahaha good one
What's better than a nigger, and even smellier?
A dead nigger.
A mob of indios caught three thieves. They rounded and tied them up. Then they asked the first one: "do you want to get fucked, or do you want to get killed?". "I want to get fucked", he replied. "Fuck him!", the head indio screamed. So the mob of indios fucked the everliving shit out of him. Then they asked the second one: "do you want to get fucked, or do you want to get killed?". "I'd prefer getting fucked", he replied. "Fuck him then!", the head indio screamed. So the mob of indios fucked the everliving shit out of him. Then they asked the third one: "do you want to get fucked, or do you want to get killed?". "I'd rather die", he replied. So the head indio screamed "Fuck him 'til he dies!"
Pedro and maria, a couple of indios, were fucking, and right in the middle of it, Maria asks "Pedro! Do me like the coyote!", and Pedro goes "Awooo!", and Maria replies "No! Like the coyote that brought us up north!"
>>74156446
>why is suicide illegal?
>>destruction of government property
Wait, aren't you forget-
>flag
HAHA, OH WOW.
Why dont muslims have sex ed and driving taught the same day?
Coz the camel gets tired out
Why did the Jews spend 40 years in the desert?
One of them dropped a penny.
>>74157361
Taking the piss out of yourself I see
>>74152035
Wew lad!
>>74157327
I don't get it, forgeting about what?
Why is a nigger like a broken gun?
>It doesn't work and you can't fire it.
>>74154155
These all suck.
>>74158010
tell a better one!
>>74153281
Had to think for a second and then kekd and spat out my morning cup of dingo piss
>>74158066
What do you call an American on a mobility scooter shopping for spray on cheese at 4am?
Disabled.
>>74157795
Context. But your flag provided it fine.
What do you call a turk stranded on the moon?
A problem
What do you call ten turks stranded on the moon?
Still a problem
What do you call all turks stranded on the moon?
Problem solved
>>74158167
What do you say if you see a dark brown syrian man fucking a goat in your front yard?
Good morning and Inshallah, my fellow brit!
>>74150925
I painted my computer black to make it run faster, instead it just stopped working
>>74158066
A kike, a spic and a nog walk into a bar. They see this old guy sitting in the corner with a big white beard, and the Jew says, "Oy vey, that guy looks like God!"
The wetback says "Aye carumba, I'm gonna buy him a drink!". Nog says "Bix nood, me too Paco".
Couple hours later, they've been sending this old guy drinks all night. Even the jew ( suspension of disbelief is required for this joke).
Finally the old guy goes up to them and says thanks for the drinks. They tell him they were only doing it because he looked like God. Old guy says "I am God, and I'll prove it my children".
He touches the Jew's forehead and says "Chaim, you have a brain tumor. You would have been dead in 2 weeks, but I have cured you."
He touches the mexican's stomach and says "Paco, you have stomach cancer. Yoi would have been dead in 3 months, but I have cured you."
The old guy goes to touch the black guy, and the nigger jumps back and goes "Keep yo muthafuckin hands off me, God. I's on disability!"
>>74150925
Why can't a turk marry a nigger?
Because then they make kids that are too lazy to go steal.
What hangs on the wall and kills niggers?
A kluklooxclock.
How do you know your house was robbed by asians?
Your homework is also done and you can't find your dog.
What is the difference between a nigger and a tire?
Tires don't start to sing when you put chains on them.
>>74152958
Hahaha classic!!
>>74158289
We don't have Syrians, we built a wall to keep them in France where they belong.
How many Jews can you fit into a car?
6 million. Two in the front, three in the back and the rest in the ashtray
Why pope John Paul II rape a little kid?
He's dead.
But what about racist anti-WHITE jokes? If whites are "the devil" to blacks, surely there must be some. I've never heard any.
>>74152167
>3/5ths rule
>>74152791
Proper setup for this one is:
What's long, brown, and smells like shit?
>>74153464
>he can't speak polish
What a faggot.
>>74151845
God damn I hate these holocaust jokes guys. My great grandfather died in Auswitch. He got very drunk one night and fell from the gaurd tower :'-(
>>74150925
What work boots.
Sneakers?
>>74150925
Why did the baby niglet start crying?
He got diarrhoea and thought he was melting.
I was in town the other day and I saw this nigger run past carrying a television. I panicked and thought : "Oh shit thats mine"
But then I realized it couldn't be mine,
mine was at home polishing my shoes
>>74154301
I wish they'd divide your goddamn head you goddamn turkroach.
Why are you even on the internet? Go fuck your bearded sister or something.
God damn, disgusting. Just leave. I feel gross just talking to you.
>>74151473
It really makes you thinking
>>74159479
There's some in latin america, but they're not funny. They're petty.
For example, one comes to mind. "A gringo is visiting Guatemala, and gets lost. So he stops an indio that was walking by, and asks him where they are. The indio tells him he doesn't know, so the gingo asks if he knows who to ask where they are. The indio tells him he doesn't, so the gringo asks if he knows how to get a bus. The indio tells him he doesn't, so the gringo replies with 'well, you're quite an ignorant indio', to which the indio replies 'well, at least I'm not the one lost'."
"Punching up" doesn't work in comedy. It comes as pathetic. Like a hardline atheist throwing cheap punches at christians - and I say this as an atheist who overall liked Carlin.
Woody Allen:
This watch I'm wearing is very special to me. My grandfather sold it to me on his deathbed.
What did the southern cop say when he found a nigger hung in a tree with 4 shoots in his back?
"Well hot damn, that's the most creative suicide I have ever seen, I tell you what"
An Irishman walked out of a bar.
>>74158915
A kike, a spic, and a nog walk into a bar, sit down and order a drink.
The bartender looks up at them and says:
"GET THE FUCK OUT"
>>74152317
Wrong. Zero. Two in the front, two in the back and none in the ashtray because the holocaust never happened.
