why is this too complicated for anglos and americans? why is walking around with shit in their arse cracks is acceptable to them?
i get looked at weirdly if i mention i dont ever use toilet paper and just use hot water in the shower or occasionally a hot cloth or baby wipe.
i REFUSE to walk around all day with shit between my arse cheeks and a dried up nugget clinging to my sphincter.
i cannot understand people who use toilet paper. it doesn't work, it doesn't clean your arse, you are not clean, you are still fucking dirty.
why the fuck do people in anglo/americuck countries willingly walk around all day with shit in their pants???
my father does this and my uncle. only me, my mother and sister have the intelligence and sensibility to realize toliet paper doesn't clean anything, it just smears the shit around and you get paper stuck in your shit too and it makes your pants soiled.
uncultured swines.
euro master race.
Discuss, faggots.
pic related
2/3 my daily shits I shower after
the other 1/3 is usually at work so I Just use wet wipes instead of dry toilet paper
>>73728380
Why is that sink shaped so weirdly?
Do Euros have really big hands?
POO
IN
THE
LOO
AMERIANGLOKEKS
>>73728380
"invented in France for the prostitutes, is now widely used in all those countries where people like to fuck more then once a day."
the french truly are the master race. bless them.
![wet-wipes-1[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/YDUBvsS.jpg "wet-wipes-1[1].jpg")
>>73728380
We've developed a more American solution that is far more effective and far more wasteful.
>mfw foreigners are so fucking stupid they haven't figured out how to use a wet wipe.
>>73728695
Did you read the post, fgt?
I use wet wipes too, but only on occasion. A blasting stream of hot water mixed with soap is the only way to make sure your ass is 100% clean.
Baby wipes are a band-aid on a wound.
A last resort, if you're stuck somewhere camping or you're in an uncivilized country like the United States or the United Kuckdom.
>>73728380
Why the fuck aren't these used across the western world?
>>73728850
what the fuck am I looking at?
What is this nip contraption? Looks like an rectal prolapser that sucks your insides out.
>>73728918
Mecha toilet with a built in water jets to blast your bunghole clean
>>73728380
I wash my ass at the sink. It's not rocket science
>>73728513
moral of the story: don't fart in public, you fucking degenerates. Sharts are karma.
>>73728380
From /int/
>>73728835
>he can't even use wet wipes properly
Australian education everyone.
How're you wiping? I don't have any significant poo in my asscracks.
>>73728994
I have one, it's only like 300 usd from Amazon, heated seats too
>>73728533
>>73728695
>>73728835
Just fuck my sewers up senpai
>>73728994
Nice. Bless the nips too.
>>73729069
>I wash my ass at the sink. It's not rocket science
Lmao
>>73729096
Green is master race.
>>73729131
LMFAO!!! DUMB NIGGER!!! You think your ass hole is clean!? Check again, idiot.
>>73729138
God damn....
>>73729215
Lol
>>73729136
>I don't have any significant poo in my asscracks.
>significant poo
So you admit to still having poo there?
>>73728380
Finally you get us. We have water jets on our toilets. The ones that do work that is.
>>73728918
It's a demo model, the plastic tube is to ensure you don't get a jet of water in your face.
>>73729408
You just poo in the streets though and wipe with your hand. How is that clean?
>>73729069
stfu degenerate
>>73728918
a "washlet"
japs have made bidets built into seats or even whole toilets
bunch of different options to get the job done well, heat, pressure, motion, position
also heated seats and an ass dryer, some even have shit to neutralize odours
The tube is just so they can demonstrate it's ability without spraying people/the store.
It's the future, old style bidets are fucking trash in comparison.
>>73729096
>Arabia/North africa
>Has another "device"
My sides.
>>73729069
I wash my ass at the sink
dude just get a bidet attachment for your toilet
and snip that ass hair too
>>73729096
>Sri Lanka is brown
kek
>>73729408
Alright, the poo expert has spoken. Thread's over.
>>73728380
I wipe my ass with toilet paper and then use wet wipes to get it really clean.
>>73729504
Did you miss the rest of the map where most of Asia is purple as well?
>>73729502
God bless them.
>>73729507
Rofl..
>>73729548
xD
>>73729555
trips....
>>73728513
What the fuck happened in this picture? Do Americans really randomly shit themselves? Jesus, you guys are fucked up
>>73729504
Almost all the countries with 'another device' have this thing.
>>73728380
But I do use a bidet Aussiefag. Bought a mechanical bidet off amazon. Cost like $30, easy to install and now have clean butt all the time. Havent had a dingleberry in god knows how long.
Would love to spend a few grand on a Japanese bidet though.
I don't know if I'd like the sensation of a water jet blasting my ass as I am a hetero but I do wish we had a better way than wet wipes. Because they are not dissolvable and fuck up your plumbing if you flush them (t. Plumber). Wiping your ass as an adult male is like trying to get peanut butter out of a shag carpet.
>>73729096
I just noticed Finland.
ROFL!!!
Fucking Mongols....
>>73729670
its probably due to their high fat diets. too much greasy food.
>>73729686
that's actually bretty gud
>>73729702
Nice man
>>73729618
>wet wipes
this nigger knows whats up.
>>73729507
>>73729640
wew meant to greentext the wash ass in the sink phrase
>>73729548
It's because in a previous version somebody painted India and indian culture countries as brown with the legend 'doesn't poo in the loo' or something like that.
I wipe till there is minimal shit on toilet still shit but very minimal
>>73728850
I would buy one right now, but they are a couple hundred to a couple grand depending on how pampered you want your ass.
>>73729817
>>73729548
my sides
>>73729855
YOU STILL HAVE SHIT THERE
>>73729670
Some Americans do this not as many as it seems like from that picture. In 27 years of life I have only seen one other adult shit himself and it was a shart.
>>73729494
What precisely is degenerate about cleaning the feces off of your body?
>>73729507
>bidet attachment
maybe I will
>and snip that ass hair too
that's pretty gay m8
>>73730114
massive arse hair is exactly why paper never works :(
>>73728380
>spraying max droplets of shitwater all over your bathroom
>instead of the minimum
What are you, Indian?
>>73728380
>Aussfailia
>Europe
Choose one you dumb fuck. No one cares about your boipussy you arshole. Just because you're a little chink that needs to have his boipussy ready for German pedophile tourists doesn't make you superior.
>>73730222
nice trips
i just do my shit in the toilet then waddle over to the shower and blast the feces out of my arse crack and down the drain and use soap/hot blasted water to clean my ass 100%
>>73728380
Because they are really poor, and cant afford basic sanitary for their bathrooms.
Only 1st class world countries got that, even in poor families.
>>73730345
im european, actually.
>No one cares about your boipussy you arshole.
>ust because you're a little chink that needs to have his boipussy ready for German pedophile tourists doesn't make you superior.
it seems to me you're a closeted faggot and wish for a chink boy to be a trap for you :^)
>>73730410
ah, italy. im glad you showed up.
>>73728380
>be me
>go to Italy with an aussie girl
>arrive to the hotel
>she points at the bidet and asks "what the hell is that?"
>told her it's called a bidet and explained what it's used for
>she starts laughing hard
>told her she was a fucking peasant
>punches my shoulder
>fucks my brains out
>goodtimes.jpg
true story
>>73730502
god i fucking hate australian women.
i hope you rekt her holes
>>73730502
the fact that you have to brag about having sex is pretty pathetic
did she also happen to be a prostitute?
>>73729670
No, there is a disease fat people get that makes it hard for shit to stay solid and in their ass. So it leaks once in a while.
I don't know whats up with the chick though, thats fuckin gross.
>>73730712
id fuck dat ass desu
>>73730712
It's probably menstruation blood
>>73730990
it looks like shit to me
>>73731065
dried blood looks like shit
go through your mom's old underwear drawer if you want proof
>>73729686
damn I wish we had these.
could just give myself a water enema everytime I get constipated.
>>73728380
>this thread
>wahhhhh I dont want to wipe me bum mate
>my diet is so shit mate.. it takes 800 wipes to clean me bumhole mate
you fucking idiot faggot fuck
>>73730586
i like them, they're nice and easy XD
>>73730670
jelly virgin detected
>>73728380
Fat shitty Walmart things are animals. Most Americans can wipe their ass and don't have time for fucking bedets and other faggotry. We actually work in this country mate.
>>73731871
i'm not jelly that your gross ass fucked a prostitute m8, not when i fuck my qt wife daily
>>73731948
said the virgin
and why the hell would I go to Italy to fuck an aussie prostitute? make more sense burger
>>73730670
Nah, man... we can't afford prostitutes
>>73728380
That "Nugget" you mention is actually called a dingleberry.
>>73734584
We call it a tarzan.
>>73728380
>Babywipes.
if not on hand, wet the toilet paper in sink or flush water till clean, then dry paper to polish up.
Anyone who doesn't do this is a subhuman indian-tier degenerate.
>>73728380
I agree. I only use toilet paper to clean my peepee when I pee, but otherwise I wash myself with the bidet.
>>73729357
Probably. I've never inspected my asshole with a magnifying glass though. It's probably in the gooch hairs mostly.
>>73735035
>I only use toilet paper to clean my peepee when I pee
Wow just like a fucking woman. It must be the oestrogens in the food or something that leads men to threat their dicks like fucking clits.
Those bidet threads are made up of a small circlejerk of actual homosexuals who feel the need to have inner ass cracks 100% clean as opposed to the 99% dry paper provides.
I swear I see the same fucking flags over and over again with more than 20 posts in the same thread.
yeah sorry we don't use aqua buttplugs, I mean "bidets," as an excuse to titillate, I mean "clean," our buttholes
>>73735733
What? Your posts makes no sense. Besides check my ID, I only posted once.
I'd rather not have a drop of pee in my pants once I tuck it in. Sure I'll flap it otherwise, but it's not as effective.
>Not wanting to have shit in your ass makes you a faggot
Besides, if you ever use one you'll see that it provides no sexual stimulation at all. It's not a fucking tentacle that gets inside your rectum, it's just high pressure water like when you shower.
>>73728850
Doesn't the shit water just blast everywhere around the toilet when it sprays out? If it's just a gentle stream it won't do anything to clean you bunghole, but if its a blast, it will spray shitwater all over your ass at the very least.
Then you have to have an ass bath or do you just pull up your pants to dry your shitcovered buttocks?
I don't get how these ass fountains work. there's no possible way of positioning yourself so your asshole is the lowest part of your body, so won't there be water that touched shit dripping off you?
>>73728380
> i get looked at weirdly if i mention i dont use toilet paper
> dont bring it up in random conversations then autist
>>73737171
>I'd rather not have a drop of pee in my pants once I tuck it in.
>what is shaking
>Would rather lose dignity than having a micro drop of pee in pants
Estrogen dude.
> It's not a fucking tentacle that gets inside your rectum, it's just high pressure water
So its basically like a tentacle that gets inside your rectum.
Besides, friend, do you even know how to take a shit without staining your cheeks? Do you realize you arent supposed to squeeze the turd like a big black cock? ideally shit squatting or at least with your cheeks well spread.
Paper is just to remove the extra shit that may still stick outside your asshole. If your shit is 100% liquid go see a doctor and take a good shower cus chances are you're sick.
>>73728380
So what youre saying is you like the feelz of liquid gushing into your anal cavity.
>>73729096
Lol all the places that have them everywhere are Mediterranean countries with greasy as fuck leaky arse diets.
>>73737868
all these bidet faggots either wash and dry their entire asses after taking a shit like prissy fags, or they just blast some water in their crack, call it clean, and walk off with a dirty wet bum.
>>73729096
>Sri Lanka
My sides have just passed the Oort Cloud
>>73738195
Are you one of the poor /pol/ trolls the rest of the website warns about?
>>73737868
>>73738296
Americans are cute! CUTE!!
>>73729096
AH GREEN MASTERRACE PLEBS
>>73738450
>Are you one of the poor /pol/ trolls the rest of the website warns about?
>>73738296
Only Japanese asses are clean.
They even have massage options, temperate control options, and voice activated actions so you can just tell the toilet to flush itself without lifting a finger.
>>73728380
I agree Ausbro.
I use toilet paper and then baby wipes to make sure its 100% clean.
>All you dickheads using only toilet paper have no idea how much shit is left behind without using any moisture from a wipe or water etc.
>>73728380
you are a complete retard
what is so hard about you uncultered swines unable to understand how to use toilet paper
you are literally sub 80 IQ, if you cannot figure out how to use toilet paper, or if you find that it doesnt clean anything and you are still fucking dirty then that just goes to show that you are an absolute failure
I am not going to teach you how to wipe your fucking arse on /pol/
if you don't know by now, just do the world a favour and jump in front of a truck
>>73728380
I knew Australians were shitposters, but...Jeez.
I agree
If someone walked up to you and smushed poo into your chest would you just wipe it with paper?
I find the whole thing insane: a bidet is literally a sink for the lower part of the body, that's basically it. One of its immediate uses is to comfortably get close to you ass and wash it as if you were inside the shower i.e with a good amount of soap. But that shouldn't be the point of it, just like a sink isn't designed for a single purpose.
>>73738295
Stay mad
>>73728380
can someone explain to me why it has a plug
How fat are you that shits keeps sticking between your butt?
There is nothing left after a wipe, even if, nothing serious the daily shower won't take care.
If your boyfriend complains though, just kill him, so he can't complain anymore.
>>73739529
This last winter I got out early in the morning without realizing it was snowing, but since I was already out I didn't feel like putting some proper shoes was needed.
As I got home, I had plenty of water inside my shoes and I had my feet pretty much frozen.
So I got in the bathroom, plugged the bidet, filled it with warm water and I unfroze my feet there.
>>73728380
It's pretty fucking simple. You just don't get shit all over your entire ass like a fucking idiot and once you're done shitting, you roll out a sizeable strip, fold the toilet paper a few times so you get a good pad, and wipe several times going both front to back and back to front to get it all, folding it after each wipe. Ta-freaking-da you have a clean ass. Not everybody enjoys having a wet butt and just get some toilet paper that isn't fucking single ply because that shit is thinner than paper.
>>73728380
THIS.
so much THIS.
What is more maddening about it is how they think washing your asshole is actually LESS sanitary. wtff. i can't even.
>>73740089
We clean with paper
Then wash
Then dry with specific 1 use towels for genitals (not shared between members of families).
You're just a subhuman
>>73739967
We call this invention: Badewanne.
Our Anglo friends know it as a bathtub.
It has not only place for one foot, but for your whole body.
>>73729504
toilet sprinklers, faggot, ever heard of them?
>>73729686
We don't have that, but I know most of Asia, and Arabia do.
We have >pic related
>>73728380
Why don't you wipe your ass properly instead of needing a cunt sink?
>>73740690
Great, I see that at least in that domain you aren't only a step above poos in loos.
Join civilization and get also a bidet, I'm sure you can afford one.
>>73740089
>folding your tp
after even one fold it's too narrow to ensure that you don't get shit on your hand
I don't wipe and I like walking around with shitty ass crack. It's like lube in there.
Nice drinking fountain!
I uh... I flush once and then dip another couple pieces of toilet paper in water to clean up if I didn't have a nice dry shit.
i just put tp around my finger and dig into my anus about 1cm to make sure i'm clean
>>73729096
Put me in red
i also like that faint lingering shit smell when i eat lady's pussy
>>73728380
Seriously never understood this, do you just throw hot water at your ass?
Do you wipe then?
>>73728380
>Then wash
>Then dry with specific 1 use towels for genitals (not shared between members of families).
Or you could just wipe properly the first time and not have yo waste water and towels cleaning your ass. Just wipe until nothing comes up and then go about your day.
>You're just a subhuman
Good one m8, almost couldn't hear you over the sound of my freedom. How's imminent terroristic threat over there in Europe?
>>73728380
Toilet paper, like the ceramic jew, are below us.
Toilet paper needs to be bought again and again, this tickles the grabbler.
The ceramic jew fucks up your bowel movement, giving hemorroids and stuff.
But how do we let the people know?
>>73738611
>Siri...lick my ass
>>73740925
You're folding it completely long. Don't tear it off for starters that's fucking stupid. Just get a strip like 5 squares long, tear it at the end, and fold that in half where it's 1 sheet wide and 2.5 sheets long. You can use more sheets and fold as needed. Throw it in the toilet once it' s too small to wipe.
>>73728380
Because plumbing is complicated.
>>73741397
Why have showers in the first place then? Why not just rub paper all over yourself until it looks clean? Why waste precious water and electricity/gas to heat it up?
This threads are comedy gold with all the damage control.
>>73728380
Last time I used a bum cleaner in Japan I wound up with someone elses pubes in my ass when I wiped to dry off afterwards.
Never again.
>>73738797
On the other hand, would you just splash a bit of water on it and pretend it was clean?
>>73741724
why would you do that though instead of just making a 5 sheet stack?
>>73739529
to keep the spiders from climbing up and biting your bum
>>73741989
Do you "splash water" all over yourself when showering? Or maybe you actually use soap and brush? You are supposed to do the latter with a bidet.
>>73738611
Those "japanese toilets" are actually pretty rare in Japan, they are wipers just like you dirty bastards.
>>73728513
>couple pictures of white trash and spics acting like white trash and spics
>represents 325 million people
>>73729670
No, you fucking nigger. Are you stupid?
>>73739967
>washing your feet where shit particles have been
Some of my poops stick to the hair around my butthole, so I need to break them up and sweep them away with a hefty chunk of TP.
Sorry Australia, we can't all be low test smoothskins.
>americans
>claim they circumcize kids for "hygene reasons"
>think that taking a shit and using only toilet paper and having a dirty stinky asshole all day is "hygenic"
lol
>>73742157
>how does a sink work
>what's water
oh ameripig u so hilarious
>Average American bus stop
>>73742157
>taking a shower
>washing your face where you wash your ass
HURRDURRR DERP
>>73742390
I'm sure he has some toilet paper in his bag to clean his ass and the floor anon, no worries.
>>73728380
>Why have showers in the first place then? Why not just rub paper all over yourself until it looks clean?
There's a big difference between dried sweat and oil on your body and shit on your ass... But using soap and water to clean your ass every time you go to take a shit would quickly get annoying and time consuming. Just take a fucking shower once a day like a normal human being in a first world country and use shampoo and soap to clean everything at the end of the day. Way easier and more pleasant than making my ass wet after every shit.
>>73728380
>straya shitposting about shitting
/b/ tier thread if i ever saw one.
>>73742042
Because then you can't fold it at all? A stack of 5 single sheets is terrible, especially if you have single ply.
>>73741921
How would you even know this? Also, how is a bidet gonna shoot pubes up your ass? Maybe the pubes were on the towel.
>>73742497
>But using soap and water to clean your ass every time you go to take a shit would quickly get annoying and time consuming
with a non-american diet that would be 30 seconds or less of your life after your single daily shit, I don't know how much do you guys visit the bathroom for a number two there
>>73729670
Its shopped you fucking idiot.
>>73742118
No one ever mentions using a fucking ass brush when talking about bidets.
>>73742713
Because it was a jet black jappo pube and I am the aryan master race
I know it's hard for a hispanic to understand when all of your hair is the same colour
I used paper to dry off afterwards
>>73742779
You can brush your ass however you like, either with your hand or with a sponge only used for that purpose. You can clean you ass just like you do inside a shower.
>>73742851
>I swear I don't know how those pubes got on my ass
>Oh wait it must have been the BIDET...
Maybe your boyfriend believed your lies, but it doesn't fly here.
>>73742671
why do you need to fold it? you have a stack of however many sheets you think you need, and drop them into the toilet as you use them until your ass is clean or you need to make another stack.
>>73737727
A little arm comes out from the seat and sprays from there, not from the bowl itself.
>>73729502
Also sound, in case you don't want people to hear you go.
I just let the dog go to town on my butt
>>73743299
pls buy me one
May as well use this degenerate thread to see if kikechan still has me banned
Christ, too late to join this party.
The bidet is something wonderful. Other countries don't need to apply. I just kek to the thought of how much shit foreign panties contains every day.
>>73728380
>with a non-american diet that would be 30 seconds or less of your life
>how much do you guys visit the bathroom for a number two there
I eat a healthy diet and only go out to eat maybe once a month. I typically use it once a day but dependant on bacteria in the food I may go more.
Having a specialized sink mainly just for washing your ass if weird and unsanitary at best. There's a reason we don't touch toilet water. But using a jet to spray your ass doesn't make it necessarily clean, and having to dry it is also a hassle because what the fuck do you do with the towel afterwards. Paper towels are an option but then you're using about 3 times as much paper to clean your ass than you could if you just wiped with toilet paper. So many problems and so much more resources being used if you don't just wipe.
>>73743299
Like customized sounds, e.g. horse racing, so you can pretend that you're not actually taking a massive shit in the toilet?
>>73739529
It has multiple uses, not just for cleaning ass. My grandparents bathed me on the bidet as a baby, since it's smaller and safer.
You can also wash feet as another anon pointed out. Girls probably can rinse their vags or whatever the fuck they do in the bathroom.
>>73740893
Had one in the house, never used it.
After renovating the bathroom we just built a bigger shower.
And of course it is less sanitary.
Not only you dirty your toilet, but also this thing. More to clean, more work.
You have to dry yourself. One use towels that were in your ass? Really? Seperate of each user?
Someone needs to wash that, also a place to put it and keep storage. Also storing wet towels for some days is not really clean.
Or do you hang your asswipes out to dry?
For a 4-5 people household you would need a whole closet and every 3-5 days a whole washing machine just for your towels.
In Germany most 3 or more room appartments and houses have designated shitting rooms, the guest toilet room.
It is considered very rude to enter or use a bathroom of a stranger or even friend, so most flats and all houses have at least one, houses usually even on every floor.
In it is just a toilet and a small sink, sometimes not even hot water. I don't like to shit in my bathroom. The smell alone makes the bathroom feel dirty.
How would you build your house considering the added logistics on limited space?
Your guest toilet would have to be like half a bathroom.
They shit in the streets in San Fran Sicko
>>73743640
This is what the bidet sjw's don't tell you about their filthy habit
>>73743594
They're good, but the default setting is always "saw in half."
>>73743710
The sound of water running.
>>73743752
Your grandparents bathed you in a toilet?
We need a 'Poo-in-the-loo' video for the niggers here
>>73743165
>>73743299
don't lie Japan, i know you motherfuckers use toilet paper too.
>Not cycling wet wipes and dry toilet paper to get all of the shit off the outside
>Not rolling up a little bit of the wetwipe and shoving it up your ass to get the shit lingering just inside
Would be cool to have one of those ass shooter things but whatever it still wouldn't get the bit just inside.
>>73743640
>Having a specialized sink mainly just for washing your ass if weird and unsanitary at best. There's a reason we don't touch toilet water.
Every time you put your shitstained paper-wiped ass on the bathtub is basically the same thing, only worse, because the shit is touching the rest of your body.
Bidets are cleaner however you look at them.
You wash your ass separately than from the rest of your body. What's not to like?
>>73743945
Well yes, I'm not hiking my drawers up with a wet asscrack.
Ass Wiping science
Sit down, wet toilet paper, wipe up, dump in toilet, repeat twice
Dry toilet paper, wipe up once, new paper, wipe down once
Stand up, wet toilet paper, wipe up
dry paper, wipe down
if you're in a date, grab some mint gum, chew it, DONT SWALLOW, continue chewing it, spit collective initial mint flavored saliva in toilet paper, final wipe
You're ready to get a rimjob after your Chilli's ribs
I use the shower everytime I shit but I only go like once a week so its not an issue with me.
>>73743081
1. Single Ply
2. They tear easy if you have ass hair no matter of the ply
3. Just fucking fold it seriously it's way easier than individually tearing out the squares which almost never tear along the lines.
>>73728380
Are Americans the new Poo-In-Loos?
>used a bidet when there's perfectly good shitskins to lick you clean
I shiggy diggy
>>73743924
It's not a toilet, it's a little bathtub/sink.
You don't pee or shit in it.
They'd hose me and let the water go down the bidet drain. It's not customary though, but nothing wrong with it. It's clean.
>>73729096
>>73729771
finnish toilets have bidet showers, which is obviously much more efficient than having extra sink in your shitter
Ok Euro Fags lets say i spritz my asshole with water, how do I dry it fuckwads?
>>73744138
Yes! We shit in the streets here and it's so free and allows the poo to flow easily. It's the newest trend here. Every country should try it!!
>>73744521
This is always my question. Other wise bidet sounds like the way to go. Do you keep a shitty wet rag laying around?
>>73744521
If only there was absorbent paper next to the toilet.
>>73728380
thank you based ausbro. bidet is the way
but do you accept the real hard truth of the full squat pose?
>>73744521
Bidet towel. Personal and not mixed in the family
Also, adult people with reason in their brain knows how to wash and not stain even the bidet towel.
>>73744521
They usually wear 2 pairs of underwear and just pull them up, the first pair absorbs the wetness and no one can notice.
>>73744726
So I need a machine to spray my ass plus toilet paper...You fucks really crack me up.
>>73744808
>towel
cant you afford paper
>>73744808
So you have your own personal shitty wet rag? Do you ever smell it?
>>73744808
you keep a shit rag and dry your ass everytime with the same shit rag you used last time? how is that good?
>>73744867
Beats digging in your asshole.Spray water, pat dry, like a civilized person.
>>73728380
>Every time you put your shitstained paper-wiped ass on the bathtub is basically the same thing, only worse, because the shit is touching the rest of your body.
Maybe don't bathe in a bathtub for starters? Also if you wipe the only way you get shit smearing on the tub is if you spread your cheeks and purposely attempt to rub your asshole onto it.
>Bidets are cleaner however you look at them.
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha
No. Take a fucking shower like the rest of the first world. You literally have a sink dedicated to cleaning your shit off your ass. AKA there are shit particles all over that sink. AKA not fucking sanitary.
>You wash your ass separately than from the rest of your body. What's not to like?
Having a wet ass when no other part of you is wet. Have you ever accidently sat in a puddle? It's fucking disgusting and annoying. Just wipe properly and you won't have to clean it separately. Just take a daily shower at the end of the day. It's that simple.
>>73745020
Smell it? They're so hygenic they use it to wash their faces next
>>73745039
What do you fucks eat? I've never wiped my ass and stood up only to feel shit stuck around my asshole.
Lay off the vanilla paste and Cuddle fish you fucking chicks.
>>73745039
simply spraying water on your shit covered asshole and then patting dry will not clean your ass.
>>73745034
That's fuckin nasty!
>who used my shit rag??!
Where do you keep a shitty wet rag?
I'm going to assume people ITT are trolling themselves, there's no way what I'm reading is not ironic.
>>73744893
Doesn't work that way.
A normal person here, after the poo in the loo, use paper to get out most of the shit, then hot water and soap.
Flush and repeat as/if necessary.
Then dry with the towel. Before going out, hand wash in the sink.
No rocket science, and if it's weird, remember that when you shower your shit runs, melted by water, on your legs and feet, even inside the fingers and under the nails.
So a lot more skin is smeared with shit. And what do you use after the shower to dry?!?!?
>>73745263
Neither have I, because of the washlet.
I'm surprised your curry diet doesn't give you sticky shits.
>>73745268
Trust me, it does. The higher settings could strip a deck clean.
My toothbrush is my bidrt brush 2bh
just rinse it well, flouride kills bacteria anyways
why would I use toilet paper when ur mums dick cleans me arse for me m8?
>>73745407
>when you shower your shit runs, melted by water, on your legs and feet, even inside the fingers and under the nails
wat
this is an /r9k/ tier thread
possibly /lgbt/ tier because you faggots gay for caring about other mens assholes
>>73745450
Been to Japan. can confirm.
These things are what dreams are made of.
>>73745450
Well that explains japans lack of sex, they masturbate to anime while being fucked by their bidet.
>>73745407
Ever tried soap over there in Italy?
>>73744521
I know this all seems very futuristic to you Burgers but it's pretty simple.
You dry with toilet paper.
The process goes like this:
1. Shit
2. Wipe with dry toilet paper just like you do in the USA
3. Get more toilet paper
4. Rinse your ass on the bidet.
5. Wipe with wet toilet paper.
6. Repeat 4 and 5 until ass is clean
7. Wipe with more toilet paper to dry.
>>73745516
Sorry, some wrong grammar. Phone is a pain to use to post. I mean, between the toes and under their nails too. Hope you understood.
>>73745623
Better the bidet then Mohammed.
>>73745690
You really do think that we wash without soap in the bidets? There are specific soap also sold in every shop
>>73745512
after scrubbing your ass, just splash the toothbrush with some water and pat it dry with some tp, and it will be totally clean and ready for your teeth
>>73745692
Repeat? I really dont get how you fucks dirty your assholes this much? The worst shits in my life are manageable with a handful of tp.
You poverty stricken fucks must be eating something raw.
What do you do if you have to unexpectedly shit in a public restroom? Do they have bidets in public restrooms? Do restaurants have bidets? Businesses? Your place of employment?
Given how beer Australians drink, it would surprise me if your bowel movements are perfectly regular, such that you can completely avoid using wipes or paper.
After I wipe my ass with standard dry toilet paper, I use a moist towelette to do "detail work". I also stick the towelette partially into my asshole to make sure I'm 100% clean.
There have been times when I was camping or in a situation where only toilet paper was available, no dampened cloths I could easily use to wipe with... and afterwards my ass felt really dirty. It was absolutely sickening, I can't imagine people who use nothing moist to clean their butt... they probably have small bits of poop stuck to their ass virtually 24/7.
>>73728380
I don't need to wash my asshole and imagine spraying water on it would make what little shitty material there just liquify and spread around my pants
but then again my shits are pretty solid, not runny, and maybe the average americans horrible diet means they need one
>>73745890
I don't usually need more than 1 wipe.
But just in case. You need to keep wiping until the TP comes out clean.
>>73745728
Maybe all those bottom feeders you shitheads eat is what leaves your assholes rekt.
>>73729686
How do you keep the nozzle from being covered in shit? Surely splashing around all that fecal matter is going to spread some to your hands. And even if you vigoursly wash afterwards, a fleck could get on your wrist or arm. Then later you touch your arm, then lick your lips to turn a page.
BOOM! You just got black plague.
>>73746068
in our country we have food, so we have to use more than one wipe
>>73728380
hey man, i guess you got some raging shits, and your ass crack must be filled with hair, but i am not an abo, and i have none of these problems.
i regret to inform you that you are in fact a subhuman.
you keep spraying your fecal matter everywhere with water though. stay clean you animals.
>>73746081
My asshole is cleaned by a stream of warm water and patted dry, it's not rekt at all. Nice attempt at a come back, your English is really coming along Jean Pierre.
>>73741697
I forgot about this seashell meme.
>>73745915
Bidets are almost everywhere.
Sure, the public restroom at the movies doesn't have one. But my office has, for example. Usually I don't shit if there's no bidet.
I'd rather hold it.
>>73746141
It retracts into the seat, at least in Japan. And you clean it when you clean the toilet.
>>73746332
Jesus, you have to clean your toilet every shit? Like truly disinfect it?
Doubt it. I'll stick to wet wipes and showering twice a day.
The Asian equivalent of a Nigger is trying to bring the bantz.
What has the world come to...
>>73746220
We are a bigger food exporter than you and eat more beef per capita than you as well.
Try your bait at a shittier country.
>>73728513
I don't know how people do this. Are they fucking chugging canola oil? Solid food=solid logs.
>>73728533
Lol found the guy causing the clogs in the pipes.
>>73746485
No, the nozzle comes out when you press the button, and retracts when you stop it. Unless you shit again when it's going, it doesn't get dirty.
I or my wife clean the toilet once a week.
>>73746332
I just cannot understand where the remaining shit goes.
If there is a stream of water from below, how can the fecal matter go down?
My imagination is just it is going to spray around and not really clean better than a peace of toilet paper would.
And how again are you getting dry? So you do use toilet paper?
>>73729096
Another water device= A fucking bucket with shit water in it and a rag
>>73746691
Yeah but if I turn my detachable shower head upside down and shot a jet of water towards my shitty asshole, surely some of that fecal matter will come into contact with the nozzle.
You know I'm right.
>>73728380
That's not a loo.
It's a crack washing device. Designed to clear the crevice of unwarranted tagnuts and dangleberries. I've used them. It sends a jet of water up the back passage that cleanses the ringpiece of unwanted hangers on.
Jesus Christ, there are people on /pol/, in this fucking thread, who don't purposefully give themselves diarrhea.
>Letting yourself get literally raped by the fecal jew
I bet you faggots fantasise about Jamal's big black cock as those hard, girthy turds plop out of you.
I knew this board was fucking gay.
>>73728380
kek, if your bowel movements aren't fucked up then you don't have a dirty ass.
is not holding your shit too complicated for poo in loos, ausfags, and europoors?
>>73729096
>Bong
>Bidets
literally never seen one inside my own country.
Where the fuck are they?
also
>ceylon
>brown
>>73746734
Like I said, and posted here >>73743165, you press a button when you're done, and a nozzle comes out and spray. When you feel clean, you push stop, and it goes back in Use a few squares of paper to dry it and you're done.
>>73746814
It's a pretty small target, about as big as a marker cap.
I nair my ass hair once a month and shower after shitting.
Based nip tech.
>heated seats
>soapy water
>water pressure option
>heated water option
>actually leaving the house with feces in your rectum
Are you all animals? Irrigate your colon, daily, you literal shit bags.
>>73747312
>soapy water
Nah, it's just plain water.
>tfw it's getting warmer everyday and my office still has the heaters/heated water on.
Bidet only exists because European sewage systems are terrible and can't cope with excess toilet paper.
>>73728380
Who the hell wants cold water on their asshole? it just seems incredibly gay. Be a man and use toilet paper
>>73747466
'no', since you are supposed to wipe before using a bidet anyway
>>73747622
Kind of refreshing in the summer, honestly speaking. And the water can be heated too.
I read somewhere that in Japan women's public restrooms have toilet seats that play music because women get embarrassed by the sounds they make when taking a shit.
Do they also have this technology in home bathrooms? Like, if you're married for 25 years, does your wife still use the music-playing toilet seat at home?
>>73728380
No way man, I own a bidet. Dry toilet paper does not work. I'll even hold my shit in all day at work despite extreme discomfort and gas pains because that's still preferable to having actual shit and toilet paper dingleberries stuck in your butthole.
I've started using baby wipes and that is usually good enough at work, but I still hit the bidet as soon as I get home and throw my undies in the wash.
Also a fiber supplement helps with the clean up. You'll often have a clean shit.
>>73741381
I had my first encounter with a bidet when I went to Costa Rica for bird watching earlier this year. I found it amusing to use, but it seemed like way more work than just simply wiping your ass once and being done (and throwing the tp in the trash, because your septic systems suck.)
>>73747839
> play music
It's loud water sound, not music.Sometimes they have in homes too. If your a guest you maybe don't want your hosts hearing you rock a piss or drop a beef log.
>>73738717
savage af
>>73747926
>(and throwing the tp in the trash, because your septic systems suck.)
God, the whole country must smell like shit. Like what about public restrooms in restaurants? There's just a bin with shitty toilet paper? Doesn't the whole restaurant stink?
>>73747963
Do Japanese people actually poo tho?
>>73748143
Ye,s but not enough. Colon cancer is the most common type here.
>>73748110
From my observations, this was the case everywhere, except maybe in the airport where they had good strong AMERICAN-made toilets. But I didn't notice any smell, and the bathrooms were cleaner than almost any American bathroom I've been in (no toilet paper all over the floor). It was just strange to use a bin instead of just throwing it in the loo. Maybe everything being open-air helps with ventilation?
>>73747093
Where does this machine know where your asshole is? And when the pressure is high enough to clean, it has to spray particles around.
I just cannot fathom how this is more clean than just toilet paper.
On top of that it sound like to be a lot more work to dry yourself off, which is the actual cleaning process not that water.
Also what if after cleaning with that arm you have a little latecomer and shit all over that arm.
The next person using it is litterly going to shoot your turd in his ass.
Of course you can clean it, but not everyone will or do a bad job at it.
>>73747407
>colon irrigation
do you actually do this daily?
>>73748614
>Where does this machine know where your asshole is?
Lower tech ones just go by the average size, you can shift around until it hits the bullseye. The company that invented them here almost had a secretary call the police when they ask if they could measure where her ass hole was relative to her cheeks (no women on the design team=no data on females.) Higher tech ones have heat sensors.
> And when the pressure is high enough to clean, it has to spray particles around.
The water doesn't go straight up and straight down, it sort of drips off the walls of your crack.
>On top of that it sound like to be a lot more work to dry yourself off, which is the actual cleaning process not that water.
It's a lot better to just pat dry than dig your asshole clean, trust me.
>Also what if after cleaning with that arm you have a little latecomer and shit all over that arm. The next person using it is litterly going to shoot your turd in his ass.
It's angled in a way that it's pretty much impossible to shit right on it. And water is still coming out, it push it off
>Of course you can clean it, but not everyone will or do a bad job at it.
That's why I always look first when at work/in public.
>>73728380
We have bathtubs too anon.
>>73748680
Nah, but I do it before sex.
t. man who has a girlfriend that likes to get adventurous with her tongue
>>73749029
>The company that invented them here almost had a secretary call the police when they ask if they could measure where her ass hole was relative to her cheeks
oh Japan
>>73749487
>Babby's first alone bath
>>73750207
I kekked when I heard that on TV, I wonder how you get so autistic that that seemed like a good idea.
>>73747926
>and throwing the tp in the trash
Brazil is like this too.
I hate this shit.
And yes, I went to a Starbucks bathroom in Rio and it literally SMELLED LIKE USED TOILET PAPER because the dustbin was full of it.
Nasty as fuck.
Thank God for proper sewage systems.
>>73750413
Rio 2016!
>>73749558
dang I need a girl like that
I have a girl that comes every friday to give me blowjobs and she started touching me there too and it's great, but she's not willing to use her tongue
gonna dump that one for a licker
>making yourself vulnerable to swamp ass
No thank you
>>73729670
A mixture of photoshop and real people in walmart. People would notice if there were that much shit in their pants.
