Who /felon/ here?Got done for 2nd degree burglary but I narrowly avoided charges of lewd/lascivious conduct with a minor under the age of 13.
>>72175493
What a degenerate
>>72175493
You will always be a NIGGER
>>72175493
>>72175493
No, because I'm not criminal scum.
kill yourself
>>72175493
I hit my brother and I got in trouble with the police because of that.
>>72175493
did you really do any of that or did she lie out of her cunt?
>>72175493
The most trouble I ever got into was Public Intoxication and thrown into the drunk tank. I was at a fucking bar.
>>72175972
nice try prosecutor
>>72175493
A burglar and a pedo, who'd have guessed a black man would act in such a manner?
>>72176098
kek
I had to go to jail for causing a man to become paralyzed, aggravated assault? May or may not be a felony. At any rate, he started it, I was drunk, he was even drunker and I beat him within the inch of his life. We had some history (him being a bully), so I didn't end up that bad. Had to pay him a few thousand euros and spend a little more than a year in the prison, but it hasn't prevented me from gaining employment. Heard being a felon is not that fun in the US.
>>72176418
It almost guarantees that you will never be able to hold a decent job. Even for people who get assigned diversion programs and have their charges officially erased still can't get jobs because when people google their names when they apply for jobs the articles about their original arrest come up.
>>72175493
Does getting kicked out of Japan count?
>>72175493
Criminal mischief.
Left a house a wreck and fled to Minnesota, land of the Somalis. Got caught six months later.
>>72176778
I have a story about Asians, quite similar to the Finn's story.
>Be in Bangkok Airport, since I was going back to England from Australia
>With little sister, who has blue eyes and is pale, but has black hair
>Slanty eyed cunts working there don't give a fuck whether she's blonde
>They start hugging her and taking pictures with her
>She's only 5.
>FUCK OFF FILTHY CHINKS!
They do make anime, so at least they have a reason for living.
DUI
[spoiler]twice[/spoiler]
>>72177949
What's that like? Night in the drunk tank and you're on your way?
>>72175493
who /dataminer/ here?
>>72179179
Not him but for me the judge said I had to go to rehab, and the DMV made me install a breathalyzer in my car for a year.
>tfw im a tranny and I haven't even been pulled over before
jesus christ and you guys think you are better than me somehow
>>72179661
Does your car not start up unless you blow below .08?
>>72179928
We might be bad but we're not demented.
>>72179928
We're better than you in the sense we have healthy, working brains whereas you're good at driving in areas without police officers or are genuinely just a competent driver.
>>72179179
Differeng guy as well. Only got 1 so it was a misdemeanor.
You get a year of probation which amounts to twelve months of some third party parasite squeezing you for money and trying to trip you up so they can say you violated.
Also a bunch of substance abuse classes that are bullshit plus comm service.
Nvr lost out on a job, but fuck the disclosure and documentation is a pain.
All for drinking two fucking beers and driving home.
>>72180190
I am a cadet actually so I am an exemplary driver. I feel like smashing people who never use their turn signals in the fucking skull.
>>72180090
Yes, but there are ways around it.
>>72180090
Kinda. I had to blow into it every time I wanted to start it up, and when I drove it would randomly ask me to blow. I would basically try to stealth it so nobody saw me do it.
If I blew over a 0.025 it would lock me out of my car and I would have had to call someone to unlock it to let me drive. Never had that happen to me though.
>>72175493
Yeah, nah, fuck you.
>>72180428
To his defense he didn't know if he was going to need that raccoon for another day.
>>72175493
Who /violatingparole/ here?
>be me
>shooting up with some pals
>my opium seller tells me I'm cut off
So anybody out there got any of that schedule 1 good stuff? Just give me your email and phone # in your reply, 4friend!
Wanted in Chicago for voting twice.
And mopery.
>>72175493
I've committed a few felonies, but they were all justified and in the public interest. I've never been arrested though, because I'm not a dumb nigger.
Got caught with xanax and oxy and charged with distribution. I got caught cuz I was parked on the side of the road high on xan, oxy, weed, molly, and crack. I'll tell you hwhat, it was dank.
>>72182206
You're lucky you didn't get hit with a DUI
>>72182294
It would be better than distro. DUI isn't a felony
>>72182403
I meant hit with both.
>>72175493
"If I had a son..."
-Barack Hussein Obama
>>72175493
I did 3 years for knifing down three chechens in self-defense. Court considered it as overdefense.
>>72175493
I've been arrested a few times but it never went anywhere.
The once was when I (apparently) got really drunk with my daughter and we passed out on a park bench.
Once I caught my one daughter with a cigarette and she admits she got it from the daughter of this bastard down the street. So I went and beat the shit out of him.
>>72180198
Did you admit to the cop that you were drinking? Did you consent to a breathalyzer/blood draw? What was his probable cause for pulling you over?
Vehicular manslaughter here. Was browsing /b/ while driving.
Shit was crazy but I finished with 3 years probation earlier this year.
>>72175493
Did you ever hear of an instance of involuntary ass rape while in prison? I think it's just a big meme to scary normies
>>72181288
are you a cop
>>72184569
bullshit
>>72184266
Cops literally not need a probable cause when it comes to DUIs. They'll pull shit out of their ass like how they saw you not stop at a sign, or go over a line, or swerved in the slightest.
Also, not consenting to the test is admission of guilt and you still get hit.
>>72183966
i'd probably suicide before doing 3 years in a russian prison
>>72184994
you have to tell us if you're a cop.
>>72183966
>overdefense
kek
Let me guess, you are black
Aggravated battery when I was 13 for stomping a kids face I later uploaded to YouTube where it went viral
>>72184266
>Probable cause
>For DUI
>Well, uhh, he was acting drunk or I smelled alcohol or something. You can't prove I didn't.
>>72185063
man I've literally driven probably 200+ times over the legal limit, not even joking, have never once been pulled over.
One time I was driving home pretty drunk down a highway and my fucking right front tire blew the fuck out. Managed to keep control of the car, pulled over, started changing my tire. A cop showed up to divert traffic away from me and help out, kind of freaked the fuck out because I was seriously over the limit. He didn't notice I guess and I finished up and shook his hand and left.
Only close call I ever had.
>>72185334
post vid?
>>72185580
this
>>72183966
>Court considered it as overdefense.
I thought Russia was red-pilled and based. Were the memes all a lie?
Also, why didn't you just bribe the police officers with like 500 rubles?
>>72175493
Fuck off nigger
>>72175493
Most intelligent anons don't participate in Data Mining threads like these, Iris threads, face pic threads, etc.
Whatever information you correlate from this will never be accurate, remember that. Your supervisor or your supervisor's supervisor most likely knows this already.
>>72175493
I GOT CONVITED FOR DOING 96KM/H IN AN 80 ZONE
ABSOLUTE MADMAN
>>72186325
how much time did you do
>>72186403
$220, fought it all the way to court
>>72175493
I have a felony. It took place when I was a minor though. I hit a homeless guy with my truck.
>>72185580
Cops raided house took desktop (wasn't even on there) but I deleted it asap it was a ebin vid
>>72186597
Oh yeah, I was charged with attempted murder. But pled it out to 2nd degree attempted assault.
>>72185949
This.
What Do You Guys Think?
I shot the sheriff mon
>>72180391
Was your name once beth and now it is ryan by chance? I wanted to fucking destroy that pussy when you were a battalion commander at a certain academy.
>>72186325
I got caught doing 90km/h in a 50.
Gave me 5 over, paid the 25 bucks and left.
>>72187021
That'd be alight if the cop car pulled you over. When you get caught by a camera though you're fucked.
>>72175493
I dodged a bullet that would have made me a felon.
>19 years old
>walking through a city neighborhood late at night with a few friends
>cop drives by and shines his light on us
>dumb friend gets scared, reaches into his sock and throws a small baggie of cocaine
>cop sees him do it and hits the lights
>he has us empty our pockets, put the contents on the ground in front of us and sit there in front of the police car
>he goes to look for the baggie but doesn't find it
>comes back really pissed off and starts searching our wallets
>searches one guys wallet and finds another $20 baggie of coke and foil to smoke it with
>other police cars arrive, officer gets sidetracked talking with them
>comes back a while later to commence the searches
>asks me, "Anon, has your wallet been searched?" (seriously....what the fuck?)
>"Y..y..esssss sir"
>$20 baggie of cocaine in my wallet, maybe .3-.5 grams
>Guy who they found the coke on gets arrested, the rest of us are free to go
>Go home and shit bricks
This was 10 years ago, I stopped all drugs shortly after. 18-20 yo was an experimenting phase, I'm glad it happened then when I was a broke student instead of now that I've got lots of disposable income.
>>72185214
It was nice for me. I just read a lot and exercised.
>>72185750
To be fair it was supposed to be regular fight between me and one chechen shitskin, but I decided to put a knife in his throat and when two his brothers rushed to me, I sliced them too. So, court kind of helped me out here.
>>72187421
You really dodged it
>>72175493
lol dumbass
>>72175493
>Getting caught
>Used to do security at night while studying at university
>Job would literally be to drive my car to a construction site / shop that had been ram raided or something, and just park out the front and make sure people don't steal shit or graffiti etc
>12 hours shifts so I used to bring a laptop with me and just study or watch movies or anything
>This was 10 years ago, so data privacy laws were just bring introduced, and the majority of shit was a grey area
>Called out to subcontract for police to make sure a repeat bail offender didn't leave his house or try to run away, and if he did, I had to ring the police immediately
>Sitting in the car on 4chan, and suddenly police lights come on next to me
>Look up and cops get out of their car, I get out to meet them
>They warn me to stay where I am, I try explaining to them what I'm doing but they won't hear it
>Tell me there has been lots of "internet theft" in the area lately, try not not to laugh
>One of them seems my laptop and tells me he wants to look at it to make sure I'm not "sniffing the wifi"
>Not one of those "DO YOU HAVE A WARRANT" faggots so just hand it to the officer
>He immediately sees i'm on 4chan and looks at his partner, telling him this is a child porn website
>Try explaining to him what it is, he just looks at me and looks at the laptop and smirks
>He goes straight to /b/
>Front page has child porn since this was ~2006 and the website was highly unregulated
>Get thrown in the police car and driven to the station, try explaining everything to them and they just laugh at me
>Long story short, after the police find out what the website is etc, they let me go
>Tell me they are keeping the laptop for a week to ensure I don't have CP on there
>Ok
>Work calls me up the next day and tells me the guy I was supposed to watch fled the state, and how the police are pissed
Everyone in that story was an asshole except me. I don't know what I did wrong to deserve that day.
>>72190419
>Not immediately closing all tabs when police approach
You deserved it
>>72190419
That sounds like a horrible day. Getting associated with CP, at all, will ruin your reputation.
Did anything come of it?
>>72175493
Not a felon but when I was a teenage degenerate I used to shoplift cough medicine to get high with my friends
>manager sees me with a bag with stolen boxes of medicine in it
>hand it to him
>sprint out of the store and down the road with my friends
>hear police sirens
>hide behind a strip mall under a bus
>wait 20 minutes until the sirens are gone
>walk back to my friends house
>never go to that shopping center again
Aside from drug use, vandalism, and other degenerate nigger-tier crimes I haven't done committed any real felonies.
>also am no longer a degenerate
>>72175493
Almost got charged with a hate crime when I was very young. Got a gay kid to attempt suicide.
>>72190922
No. Weirdly though, the guy who fled turned out to have been connected to police corruption, so over the years I've come to the conclusion it was a conspiracy so the guy could get off scott free.
>>72191572
>very young
>gay kid
Mexico Thread
I have a question /pol/
¿Why America (continental) hate Mexico?
>>72192157
8th grade year, aw those were the good days.
>>72192253
Because illegal mexicans come here with more loyalty to mexico than their new hosts, not to mention the welfare and societal drain they are.
They need to go back.
>>72175493
Possession of Embezzled Military Weapons
Facing 525 years if convicted on all charges
Never arrested, asked my lawyer to have me show up in court, judge let me out on a word bond
Took a year to decide what to do, went through 7 prosecutors, offered me a deal, I took it
1 count possession of an embezzled good, 3 years unsupervised probation, reduced to 1 year, if I kept my nose clean for 5 years my conviction would be expunged, allowed to retire from the Army with and Honorable Discharge, no reduction in rank, no fines
Enjoying my pension, got hired as a fireman in the city I now live in, record was cleared last year, can now travel outside the US and got my conceled carry permit in January
Glad to be Caucasian
