Gather, /n/erds and see the joy in alleycats.
ITT: Alleycat stories!!
Today, I did my first alleycat and I got Dead Fucking Last (13th). I'm still super fucking proud, though. I even got my DFL prize which was a ton of stickers that I'm going to put on a new bike.
At the very beginning a newbie slammed on his brakes right in front of me and I collided into him. I went down, fucked my hand and shoulder up.
>pic related
I think I was a little concussed because, all I could remember was where I was racing to get to and that I needed to get there ASAP.
I used a really shitty fixie that I've been riding for months. It was my first, and I'm saving up to buy a super rad one I'm gonna build.
Anyway, more pics of the race.
>>948656
OP here!
This is the manifest.
>pic related, of course.
>>948656
>>948658
And my bike that has taken me many places, been through many accidents, and has been a real trooper!
We used photos to prove we were at the checkpoints, so I had to use this.
>pic related, again
>>948656
>>948658
>>948660
Cool. I like the bike m8.
>>948660
Messengers are cool but the insistence on singlespeed is downright stupid
I did my first alleycat this Sunday. It was really fun, and they strapped ome of those 360 cameras on my bike. Idk when the video is going up.
>>948656
>>948784
How can you not take pride in your ride? You replace the tubes and grease the chain, why not give it fresh paint and order bar tape?
As for alleycat races, I volunteer for my cities annual cranksgiving (training to git gud though). Two categories, single and group, race around to specific stores and buy food for the homeless. Score is determined by speed and lbs of food. Sadly the fastest fixie riders formed a team and then promptly cheated.
>>948784
So? I paid for it and made it how I wanted.
I'm not some Sanic Go Fast on it, I just cruise.
>2/10, because I replied.
>>948784
They both have brakes so they are already better than 90% of alleycat poseurs.
What the fuck is an alleycat? Is this some sort of bicycle race for poor people?
>>948842
I live in Iowa, we don't even have "alleycats" or anything like that about.
They are in some of the big cities but very few and far between.
>>948845
You tie an inflatable animal(a crocodile is most common)to a cat,naturally it will start runnning from the inflatable animal.
20 seconds after the cat has been set free the riders can start chase the cat with bikepolo hammers and whomever kills it wins the race
Did an alley cat as well
Wasn't last though
This is my bike
>>948759
Quicker to fix in a pinch
>>948845
it's a race for people who are ashamed of being cyclists
they wear dirtbag clothes and helmets designed to look like they're designed for spastics (no ventilation, heavy, "i'm definitely no cyclist")
the other important thing is that they do not make any attempt to coordinate the event with local authorities, because FUCK THE MAN, MAAAAN
so there are a lot of crashes and unfriendly interactions with pedestrians or as the alleycat participant calls them, "obstacles"
>>949115
>anyone who doesn't wear lycra and only race in UCI-sanctioned cat 5 crits isn't a cyclist
you're an actual retard
>>949115
What about the cyclists who race them in full kit on a geared bike
Or are they somehow not part of your sekrit klub still
I mean I myself love cycling
But like you I hate it when someone does something different than me
HOW FUCKING DARE THEY NOT RIDE THEIR TOURING BIKES AND THEIR BACON RIDER APPROVED 15% BODY FAT LYCRA
UGH IM SO PISSED
GOOD THING IM IMPOTENT FROM MY STIFF SADDLE SO I AM NOT PRODUCING ANYMORE TESTOSTORONE
>>948845
Basically an organized CAT 6 race.
>>949110
and slower any other time
>>948759
i've raced in alleycats with the same geared bike i used in crits, and a lot of messengers have geared bikes anyway. nobody really gives a fuck about what you wear or what you're riding on unless they're assholes
most of what makes a good messenger is knowing how to get in and out of buildings to pick up and deliver shit. riding sanic fast is far less important than being able to deal with assholes and getting their shit from A to B safely.
>>949110
also cheaper because you don't have to replace cassettes and drivetrain shit
>>948845
basically you go to various checkpoints, some of which might have tasks like find this thing or ask the bartender for a blowjob or whatever
you also drink a lot of cheap beer
>>948801
>739 lbs
lol wut, was chris hoy there with a fucking fixed gear bakfiets with a trailer
>>949145
and here we have the psychology of the typical alley cat "racer". extremely angry, angsty, and judgmental, but probably sincerely thinks he/she/zhe is the most nonjudgmental person ever MAAAAN because like, check out my totally non-matching clothes and unkempt beard MAAAAAN! like fuck the man, MAAAAAN, my bike is totally like, a pipe bomb! like, fuck people with jobs, I bet they have so many regrets, MAAAAN, not like me and my free-spirited dirtbag lifestyle.
>>948801
>grease the chain
I just have to stop reading and point out how retarded that sounds.
All the bumfuck lbs here say that too when talking in English.
>>949213
What's the gearing like on your bus pass, anon?
>>949213
No like you anon, I think if they don't like the same thing I don't like I get to generalize the fuck out of them
I can't believe they have the audacity to like a different kind of cycling
How. Dare. They.
>>949345
>I can't believe they have the audacity to like a different kind of cycling
I guess I see cycling as an end unto itself, rather than using cycling as a means to lash out against THE MAN, MAAAAN.
If you want to ride in a non-competitive event, or a minimally competitive event, or an optionally competitive event, or in any case a non-professional event, you can choose from many kinds of venues that are open to your fixies and single-speeds, but perhaps ironically, also open to non-fixies, which I realize makes them terribly, terribly unacceptable to someone who wants to lash out at THE MAN, MAAAN.
For example, normal people do brevets, charity rides, and so on, using touring bikes, flat-bar hybrids, BSOs, carbon fred machines, MTBs, and whatever else. These tend to have the cooperation of local authorities, which provides a better, safer experience for the cyclist rather than a pack of angsty dirtbags rushing through city streets and yelling at pedestrians in the crosswalk.
Alternately, if an organized even is not your thing, you can ride alone.
Organizing packs of people to RACE through public streets while doing everything possible to make sure NO ONE KNOWS YOU'RE RACING is just the kind of retarded idea a fixie dirtbag would come up with.
I fully expect you now to harangue me with a rant about how a closed course (or a partially closed course, or in any case a course that is marked for normies in any way shape or form) is selling out to the man, MAAAN, like, critical mass DUUUUDE my dick is frozen someone lend me a sock! Because, for you, it is not about the ride per se, it is about cultivating an antagonistic relationship with people outside of your secret club of people who watched Premium Rush too many times.
>>948849
should note that it's not whoever kills it that wins, but whoever brings its carcass back to the start. this makes for interesting football-esque chases where one racer gets the carcass and more or less has to sprint away from everyone else.
>>949458
did a fixie rider steal your gf? you're mad as hell
>>949458
>>949458
>it is not about the ride per se, it is about cultivating an antagonistic relationship with people outside of your secret club of people who watched Premium Rush too many times.
S A V A G E
>>948656
Allycata more like downtubers
Alleycat racers are literal fucking downtubes.
>riding in cities without brakes
>often without helmets
>being idiots
>going through intersections without looking
>thinking it makes them cool
Not even real cyclists. Just fucking downtubes.
>>948846
What city? I'm in des moines.
>mfw fixie hipsters shit on me for having an 'expensive brand name bike'
>they have zipp wheels that cost more than my entire bike
Man, the whole messenger or whatever circle ranges from incredibly chill nice dudes to horribly inflamed assholes
>>949965
I always die a little inside when I see some horrid gaspipe frame with $40 lizard skin tape and HED wheels and gold-plated chris king headset, I guess that's why they call them trollbikes
it's usually piloted by some dirtbag with a bern helmet too
>>949939
Little place called Waverly.
>>949458
Nah I wish there were more crits here
I think riding fixed is fun
I also have a geared road bike
I like bikes so I ride them
There is a tight nit fixed gear community in my city and they are generally not terrible
There are a lot of cyclists in my city and the worst group of them are the Freds
>>948656
reminds me of my days as a courier, best part of the whole job was a Friday night alleycat, best part of the alleycat was dicking around in the city until 2 or 3 am after the finish.
