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Lyric critique thread
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You are currently reading a thread in /mu/ - Music

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Post lyrics, songs: we rate/critique.
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>I was always looking left and right
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>>63451407
7/10
>>
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>I was looking for your ass
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>>63451444
5/10
>>
There's nothin' to do
It's so hard to talk to you
And people never do what they want to
I don't know what and I don't know where
But I know it's out there
It must be out there somewhere
>>
Look towards the sun, it's an endeavor
why blind myself when it's cooler indoors
Even if I changed, though probably never
the same root problems are abundantly sure

It's not giving up, it's intended function
forcing ideals does me no good
cherish any bliss that finds it's way in
my strikingly sober view of the world

I'm two years old and I'm bathed in sunlight
among the intricate web of events that will determine my life
as soon as you see what's exactly happening
twenty years are waving goodbye

Aspirations are high at the start of summer
This year's destined to be better you'll see
Even though I know, it's a futile effort
something has to stop the depression in me

It's not giving up, it's brutal realization
what influence you wield means nothing
cherry buds amiss, frame moral desolation
and a strikingly sober view of the world
>>
fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me
>>
GAWK AS I THREAD THIS LOCH NESS SLIPSTREAM SEPSIS SUBCONSCIOUS UP F TWITCH ASTERISK OFF MY MEDS GLITCH

THOUGHTS SQUEALING THROUGH MY MILDEW
WATCH MY BACK IR I KILL YOU

SCHIZO SUPERSCRIPT SCAN THE VOICE IMPRINT ONLY I CAN HEAR YOU
>>
>>63451520
10/10
>>
>>63451489
2/10

>>63451490
5/10

>>63451493
0/10

>>63451520
0/10
>>
>No more chicken sandwiches
>Yes I'll pay for the damages
>>
i deke jeeps in the street
heat seek punch NEETs
bullet dodgin raw doggin
motherfuckin jaw droppin
still sellin theres no tellin
when or when it can end
take a dose make the most
till it gets in your head
>>
Aye Looove youuu =jesuuus cheiiiiiiiiiiist !!!
>>
You look different...
>>
My ex asked me where you movin I say onto better things
>>
For fun, I'll post the first lyrics I ever wrote. They're horrible of course.


The neighbours loved the gang
As they played their cards with ease
But they stopped as the bells rang
For their all on a big leash

The women never stops weeping
As girls they never left home
For casanovas are forever creeping
And they won't leave them alone

The men lost their lust
It was lost and nowhere to be found
And as their love became stale as dust
All they had was sound

The children read their tales
Their imagination starts to flow
And they play as peasants and slaves
Because that's all they know

Her dad sees her poetry
He burns it in the stove
Even though it's just a novelty
She'll never have to know

I'll leave this town tonight
But I'll be back tomorrow
For we are all addicted to might
Even though it only brings sorrow
>>
I can't wait til summer (yeah)
Cause it's gonna be a summer of love
Hey now (well it's a love thing)

People all around the world in every nation
Like to get together for some excitations
If you're a girl appreciates her recreation
Why don't you let me take you on a love vacation

Yeah I'll take you to the movies
But I'm no fool (wah wah oooo)
First I'll get you on the beach
Or in a swimming pool
Doing unto others is the Golden Rule
But doing it with you would be so
Very cool

Girls are always ready for a summer of love
Goin' out and lookin' for love (girls are always ready)
Girls are always ready for a summer of love (sum sum summer summer of love)
Goin' out and lookin' for love (sum sum summer summer of love)

I can't wait til summer (yeah)
Cause it's gonna be a summer of love
Hey now (well it's a love thing)

Everytime the weather starts to gettin' hotter
Don't worry about it toos your clothes and hit the water
We'll be California dreaminin' bay watchin' everyday
Just off the Malibu surfin' U. S. A.

Now no girl ever wants to leave their
Love back home (wah wah oooo)
So if you miss him baby
Call him on the phone
But make it quick
We're almost in a party zone

Cause summer days and nights
Aren't meant to spend alone

Girls are always ready for a summer of love
Goin' out and lookin' for love (girls are always ready)
Girls are always ready for a summer of love (sum sum summer summer of love)
Goin' out and lookin' for love (sum sum summer summer of love)

I can't wait til summer (yeah)
Cause it's gonna be a summer of love
Hey now (well it's a love thing)
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Where the fuck did Monday go?
>all the lyrics in that song, English and otherwise
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>>63451384
DUDE SUBURBAN TEENAGE LIFE LMAO
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>It's Halloween
>When I'm between her
>She can't handle me she's a screamer
>She can't handle my weiner
>Bitch is tryna get at me
>Sending me snappys
>Next thing you know she's sittin' on my lappy
>Come meet papi
>Tryna make it happy
>These days I told her
>Apples of the pine these days
>Bitches say my semen taste fine
>I'm a sweeterman
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>>63452750
>>63452750
>She said my banana too ripe
>Onanani too tight
>She wanna bite tonight
>Ride pipe like bike
>Ride pipe like bike
>Girl I know you wanna (banana)
>Smoke this marijuana (banana)
>Girl I know you wanna (banana)
>Smoke this marijuana (banana)
>She say she want my banana
>And she wanna give me that onanani
>Potassium, too much assium
>Potassium, too much assium
>Girl I know you wanna
>Smoke this marijuana
>Girl I know you wanna
>Smoke this marijuana
>Potassium
>Potassium
>>
I'm worthless
Put your knife in me
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>>63452960
YOU NAME IS FUCK

HALELELELELELELELELELELELELELELELELELUJAH
>>
SOMETHING ANGRY IN ME
DOESN'T LIKE THE ME IN YOU
>>
Here's to you my dreary angel
Snatched of glow in the chaos of wakeful nights
The haze of your voice is so soulful and charming
I'm dying to show you a smile
But 'till then I think I'll be
Hiding
In my head
There's no place I'd be safer than there
Walking
By myself
Will you hold my hand?
Hiding
Hurting
Every day
Will we hold our hands
and hurt together for a change?

From a psychedelic-ish rock ballad with alternation between soft vocals on the verses and harsh on the choruses. Writen over a year ago, kinda try-hard and teenagey but expresses what I wanted to express: Wanting something bad for the first time in a long time
This is an extract of the last verse and chorus. Let me know what you think
>>
Sorry for the length of this one...

I was thinking of ways I could get you
Now I’m thinking of ways to forget you
I was finished the minute I let you in my bed

I stayed up late bitching
About being awake
Until you said “For God’s sake”
That’s what you said

I don’t want a merry Christmas
I don’t want these naked pictures
That you took under some fictional name

I don’t want to lie awake thinking
“oh, is that what that was about?”
Because everything falls into place
So late so late but I gotta – wanna figure it out

Now that I got you
I won’t get nothing out of you no more

A couple hours, yeah, it was good
I’d leave by fire escape if I could
But you’re in my home, I took you here myself

And you came on your own
Into my unknown
Did you do it for me alone or your own health?

I wanted you tonight
Pretty soon it must get light
Just when I thought I might sleep some more

I listened to you sleep talking closed
my eyes and started nodding
When someone started knocking on the door

It’s not going to happen
It’s not going to
It’s not going to work out
I know we had plans to
It’s not going to happen
It’s not going to
It’s not going to work out
Now that I know you
No no no no no no no no

Learned to turn the light off
After I jerked off, I opened my eyes and saw nothing
A line of light underneath the door was all that I needed
>>
Someday you will see
What just happened to me
Someday you will see
I'm so tired of being me
Someday you will hear
The bad things that happen to me
Somehow you will be
Happier with me
>>
>>63454584
Meant to say "without" at the end***
>>
Thread is dead but posting one more just because

I stand in a house of mirrors
blacklight coming from the windows
An artificial scary effect

I hold on to cloth, your elbow
swings towards my hipbone, I recall
The confidence in your voice when you said

"You don't know where I've been
and you don't know what I've seen"
And I shook it off as a cliche
but I knew it was true.

Going down the halls, the LED lights
build us matching crowns. In your eyes
I see I'm no authority

The gates are open now, we're leaving
Our reflections start receding
And my hand is buried in my jeans

As always I don't dream
you'd bear standing aboard this crashing plane
But you turn to me and say "You're not such a mess.

I used to date a guy,
if the sun touched him he would die
and he drank blood from people's necks.
I learnt to have an open mind."
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>>63454484
That last line always gets me. Will's lyrics can become relatable as fuck even for a heterosexual man.
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>>63454584
The whole lyrics seem to be about soeone not understaning and being happy with it while the narrator sufffers, yet in the last to lines he/she uses somehow as in expressing doubt of the reason, when the reason (that the other person doesn't care) has been made clear in the previous lines. So are the lyrics contradictory or am I missing something?
>>
*folk punk guitar*

My dearest friends and family
If you're not feeling sane
I hope that you'll find therapy
In the little things

And if you're still inclined to think
Your suffering's deserved
Then it seems you are not yet freed
From your haunting hurt

*harmonica*

*quiet coughing*

Lee dee dee, dee dee dee dee
Listen on from the balcony
And fire a signal flare

(Featuring Jeff Mangum.)
Thread replies: 33
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