Let’s get hypothetical.
You’re a writer who’s been going at it for a bit now. You really enjoy what you do and put your blood, sweat, and tears into each story. One day, you decide to post it in a random thread to get some feedback.
Just one problem: no takers.
You wonder if you should even bother writing; you decide to quit and move on to something else.
If that story applies to you, then hold your horses. If all you wanted was feedback, to improve your writing skills a bit, or maybe just see how others do it, then you’ve come to the right place. There are a few rules, however:
>Posting the story directly in the thread is preferred over a link to Pastebin, FiMFiction, etc.
>One story at a time.
>Don’t be a dick or asshole when reading or critiquing.
>All stories posted within the thread must be pre-written.
This thread’s purpose is to encourage writefags all over /mlp/ to write. We’re laid back here. Post what you want as long as it’s pone related. We’re not all “STOREEEYS ONLY!” We discuss topics such as writing techniques, interesting tropes, and bring forth story ideas. Let’s have fun.
>>26922773
Tips and links:
Things you should know about before writing clop:
Vhatug’s tips for anatomically correct clop and squash soup:
http://pastebin.com/g4VpEg4f
http://www.literotica.com/s/erotic-synonyms (Because using dick, balls, and pussy just isn’t enough to get the reader off. Remember, the reader cums first.)Had to. Puns are awesome.
Things you should know about writing:
Clever’s Tips on How to Write Short Stories: http://pastebin.com/GGBkxi7e
How to into writing: http://pastebin.com/V1ujiyJt
Writing rules from Navarone: http://pastebin.com/bnMmZ2T3
Ezn’s Guite to writing Fanfiction: http://eznguide.neocities.org/
Writing Book for beginners: https://mega.co.nz/#F!pwo21SKA!dljqCUmOhkwLX3x9_ApEgQ
Help for creating OC characters: http://www.dawnsomewhere.com/ocguide/
A few authors from different threads should you seek inspiration from their stories:
Flutterrape general’s writers: http://pastebin.com/eG8iY7Wy
Active AiE general writers: http://pastebin.com/mVG33ERX
PiE general’s writers: http://pastebin.com/Mgd0QuNy
>“How do I cure my writer’s block?”
Magic.
>“FUCK YOU ANSWER THE QUESTION!”
There’s no one way to cure it, but, if you can’t write, you may as well read stories. There’s more to writing than writing; there’s reading too, and that helps. Check some of the links above.
Try the following (keep in mind this won’t work for everyone):
-Figure out when it’s the best time for you to write.
-Fap then write*.
-Write anyway, and allow yourself to write shitty stories. More often than not, the block is the fear of it being bad. That’s what editing is for.
-Seriously, drink coffee. It’s a writer’s best friend.
-Listen to music while writing.
*Unless you’re writing clop, then listen to your boner.
I was gonna put this up yesterday, but figured I'd wait for the shitstorm to blow over somewhat first.
Erotic violence writer, I know you showed up just in time for the last one to go under. If you're still hanging on, drop that link, and I'll be happy to give you a second critique.
>>26922800
Hey, LG. When you're done with the erotic violence writer, mind looking at an incredibly short story? I've been playing around with voice, and wanted to see if what I wrote was too pretentious
>>26922773
>goo pony fetish OP
k.
>>26922910
Go ahead and post it now, if you want. I generally operate on a first-come first-serve basis.
>>26922932
It ain't my fetish, but I find the scene captivating.
>>26922773
Aka self-congratulatory masturbation general
>>26922948
Alright, here you go. It's just this one post. A critical eye is much appreciated
>She was an armful of contradictions.
>Powerful, yet so fragile.
>Dangerous, yet her smile invited you.
>So anxious to be moving, yet eager to stay in your arms.
>She represented everything you hated, yet you couldn't help but feel love for her.
>Holding her was nerve-racking, yet so comforting.
>She belonged to someone else, yet she was so willing to accept nurture from anywhere.
>You were so insignificant compared to her, yet she made you feel important.
>Yes, this armful of contradictions stirred up many thoughts and feelings in your heart: excitement, anxiousness, awe, protectiveness, an instinct.
>The entirety of the world, brought down to the size of a few pounds that rested in your arms.
>She reminded you of someone.
>Someone you never knew.
>A child you never had.
>A life you never nurtured.
>A love you never fostered.
>"Anon?"
>You look up from the child.
>Cadence has a warm, tired, smile.
>"It's time for Flurry's nap."
"Huh? Oh, yeah. Sure."
>You hand the foal to Cadence, and with that, the world went back into motion.
>The emotions fled your body, and you once again remembered where you were.
>Twilight sat next to you, and you both watched Cadence and Shining take their child away to rest.
>"Anon? You okay? You look a little lost."
"Yeah. I'm fine, Twilight. I was just thinking."
>"About what?"
"I never had a kid of my own."
There was a man standing at the water's edge.
Anon, a spotless youth with a man's voice and jaw, stood alone on the beach, gazing over the royal blue water with his unblemished multihued crystals. His many-colored hair danced lightly in the ocean breeze, tickling against one cheek as he smiled to himself with anticipation, resting his cheek against one hand as he clacked the heels of his pitch-dark boots together. He wore a viridian shirt with sleeves that ran down to his wrists and a pair of obsidian formal pants. His coiffure flowed in a multihued torrent past his shoulders, complementing his pure rouge-flushed pale visage. Beautiful wings sprouted from his back. He stood, awaiting his love.
They had known each other since they were children. They had spent time together so often that, despite all differences, others often mistook them as siblings. However, it was not until recently that they had recognized their feelings for each other. From then on, they were inseparable. They shared every part of their life with each other. That was how it was to this very day.
"Anon," Princess Celestia said simply with an admiring look-over and a smile on her face. Her turquoise globes complimented her ocean-colored locks, brushing against her ears, belying her childlike heart. She was dressed in refined garb befitting her station. She had a toned but slender body covered with healthily color-touched fair skin. As Anon drew nearer, he caught a note of her familiar scent of lingering iron and steel. He smiled to himself. It always reminded him of the time they shared.
"Oh, Princess Celestia! You came!" Anon said breathlessly, reaching out to take her into an embrace. She laughed and put her arms about him, holding him as they turned about once on the sand with their momentum. With that, they began to walk along the beach.
>>26923061
To their surprise, Anon was the first to speak. "I-I've never really... had anything like this." He clung a little tighter to Princess Celestia's calloused hand, resting his head against her strong, slender arm.
"Never?" she asked.
"Oh, never," he said breathlessly. "You are my first true love."
"I love you," she replied, landing a peck on his soft many-colored hair.
"I love you too."
They strolled together for a few moments, the beautiful clear cerulean sky decorated with only a few hints of loamy clouds. The sun struck his strands in a opaline halo about his face.
Princess Celestia looked at him admiringly. "You're beautiful," she told him. He blushed.
"W-Why do you say that...?" he stuttered, still recovering from her compliment.
"Because it's the truth." Princess Celestia placed her hand around Anon, drawing him nearer. "Not only that," he continued. "You're talented as well. We couldn't have saved the world without you."
"I caused a lot of trouble for you," he mumbled. "You were really the one who did all those amazing things. And you're so strong..." His eyes wandered over her face, her gentle depths, her teal coiffure. "... And handsome. Sometimes I can't believe you were that scrawny tomboy..."
"I'm not that scrawny tomboy anymore," she replied with a frown that might have been hurt or joking. "We've both come a long way since then. I've gained the strength to protect you, like I said I would."
"As long as you're by my side," he whispered, letting Princess Celestia draw him into an embrace, "nothing bad will happen to me."
"I swear it," she affirmed.
"Nothing..." he whispered, his hand seeking out her calloused ones.
>>26923071
After a few moments, they found themselves walking down the beach again. Something rose to the front of Anon's mind -- something he had been trying to beat back all this time. It was so special to him to be with Princess Celestia, and he didn't want to pass that time making them both feel horrible. But it just wouldn't leave him alone.
With concern, Princess Celestia turned her seraphic depths toward him. "Anon? What's wrong?"
"Princess Celestia... it's..."
And at that moment everything came together, all of the magic and the hurt that had been building that day, and she locked her pools with his and whispered, "You can tell me."
It was like a floodgate burst, or some barrier of fear had been struck down. Anon shook his head and everything came out at once. "It's... it's my mother. Sometimes I can't believe she's gone. It's not just that she's dead, but when it happened, it... changed so much. Sometimes I wonder about what it'd be like if it all went back.... I don't even know how I would feel about that. It just... it hurts, Princess Celestia, thinking about it. It just hurts."
Princess Celestia listened silently and solemnly. At last, when all the words had left him and he was at a loss for words, she reached out to him and took a deep breath to whisper back, "Anon... that's awful. It wish that weren't how it is. I wish I could say more. Anon...." Anon's eyes began to burn, and he abruptly pulled her into a fierce embrace. Her orbs widened at first, but then she too felt overwhelmed by emotion and succumbed to the warmth of his touch.
"You," Anon whispered, his breath hot on her ear. "As long as you're here, I'll be all right." They held each other as tears trickled down cheeks and dripped onto the shifting sands to be carried away into the sea. Their pain dissipated into a mist swept out by the ocean breeze and toward the setting sun, where dark clouds began to loom into sight.
>>26923082
They basked in each other's quiet companionship for a few moments.
"Look... it's the sunset."
Anon lifted his head at Princess Celestia's words to behold the dying sun's fermented radiance. But even as he replied, "How beautiful," the raven clouds looming on the horizon worried him. "Princess Celestia, I'm worried about those clouds. Maybe we should go back."
Princess Celestia looked at him with such caring crystals and asked, "Just a few moments more? I want to savor today."
"Mm... if you want to," he relented.
They were unprepared for how swift, how brutal the coming storm was. The rain poured in torrents, bading the ocean itself to rise. Winds whipped about them and kept them from moving on the shifting sands. Soaking, shivering, they fought against the storm.
"Princess Celestia!" Anon screamed against the wind. "Please, don't let go!"
"I won't!" Princess Celestia shouted back, her hand clasping his firmly as she struggled upward on the beach. "It's my fault! I won't fail you, Anon!"
"Princess Celestia--!!"
His scream was lost in the crash of waves against his body, the roar and power of the sea risen to steal him from his lover.
He struggled against the water, but it was too much. The violence of the storm-swept waves forced him under without contest.
>>26923093
The waves had beaten the air out of his lungs. Desperately, he willed herself not to suck in the icy water about him. Will I die this way? he wondered. Will I die... like this...?
A calloused hand seized his and he felt himself being pulled up, up and up until the cold wind hit him face again. He coughed, sucking in the air greedily. His arms had tightened themselves around Princess Celestia's neck without permission, and she was shouting, "Hold on, Anon. Hold on!"
"Princess Celestia," he murmured. "You shouldn't have. We can't make it out here. This way, you'll die, too...."
"Don't talk like that, Anon," she commanded. "We'll make it through."
"Princess Celestia..."
Thunder crashed in the distance, and the waves pitched and brought a mouthful of salty water against their faces. He coughed and held on to her, thinking, no, this isn't how it should end, this isn't how *Princess Celestia* should die...
Something bumped against his leg. A shark? Fear coursed through his body. But before he could react, another wave pushed them under. Princess Celestia slumped against him, momentarily knocked senseless. With burning eyes, Anon saw a large silhouette with a slender body and a bottle-like nose.
A dolphin, he thought. How lucky.
Summoning forth all his will, he put Princess Celestia on the dolphin's back.
It was the last thing he did before his world went black.
>>26923102
Three days later...
"He was always so sweet, so gentle. I don't think I've met anyone else so kind."
"The world is truly darker without him, without our little light."
"Don't forget what he did. How much he helped us in those dark times."
Princess Celestia sat on a chair by the coffin, globes dry, her soul too numbed to grieve. The funeral attendees nodded to her as they passed. She nodded stiffly back.
The reception lasted hours, but it seemed to Princess Celestia that it was only moments before the crowd disappeared. She picked himself off the chair and turned to look into the coffin for the first time since the funeral started.
Eyes closed and still, Anon laid inside in a fine obsidian suit, his hands clasped over his chest. He could have been in a very deep sleep. Princess Celestia fought the urge to reach out and nudge him awake. Anon was gone. Gone because of her. Because he loved her. Casting a long look at his beautiful visage, Princess Celestia leaned in and laid a single kiss on his lips.
is it extremely cliche to write about writting, meta-writing, should one avoid it?
>>26923188
Depends. Explain your idea
>>26922773
>>that OP image
did someone put too much determination in those ponies?
>>26923015
This is pretty good. It is a little pretentious, but not offensively so. I don't think you need the line beginning with "Yes"; I think that's hitting the point too hard. The examples that come before are enough to create that sense of emotional confusion on their own.
I'm not so sure about the emotions fleeing Anon's body. Might they linger a while, muted but still stirring? That would make more sense, given that wistful final line.
I think your voice is pretty good for this, though it's occurring to me right now that it would probably need pared down for something longer. That kind of lengthy treatment of emotion, the giving of multiple examples for feelings and so forth, can get way too saccharine in bigger works.
I particularly liked
>The entirety of the world, brought down to the size of a few pounds that rested in your arms.
>>26923212
Well, you know, writing about writing.
Or writing about someone writing
Or writing about what to write
That theme, kind of.
What if we put all prompts in this thread
>>26923253
>Might they linger a while, muted but still stirring?
Makes sense that it would. My main focus was to bring Anon back to reality. I guess I could cut the first part of that line, and find another way to create the feeling of Anon reorienting himself. Thanks, man.
>>26923268
I guess it depends on what you're trying to say. My suggestion is that the higher level the meta, the more it needs to fall into the background. If you're writing a story about a writer, and you try to make commentary when the character is at his typewriter, the reader becomes hyper aware of what you're doing, and you run the risk of beating the point into the reader and being too obvious.
>>26922783
Loving those links, thanks friend.
What do you guys think of the Reversed gender roles thread?
not to be a /r/ fag, but where can I find clop greentext (for the sake of improvement)
>>26923553
I seem to be hearing more about that thread lately. I honestly have no opinion of it. Never been there. I only have the vaguest idea as to what the content is
>>26923438
That would be good for keeping the discussions alive and bumps.
>>26923553
I like the idea, but I haven't taken the time to check out their works
>>26922773
>>26922773
Hey are you guys still critiquing stories?
I wrote one that was supposed to be a little edgy, but funny.
I wanted to know if it sucked.
>>26923671
I'll post it anyways, and you guys can tell me what you think and if I should continue this. It'll be under my pen name.
>>26923671
Sure are, albiet it'll take a while to get a response, a lot of reading and all
>>26923650
Prompts aren't banned if they are not OPs!
>>26923703
True, and that's what this thread is for. It's more than just critiquing stories.
What's the best piece of advice you guys can give to a new writefag?
Damn, this thread is really hopping today
>>26923061
Hey, I'm not little guy, but I'll read your story and give you some thoughts
>>26923671
>>26923699
>"Umm Anon...I'm gonna be a little behind on rent again...sorry."
"You're late.... again?"
>"I'm sorry Anon..."
"Look I understand that times are hard and all, but you have to help give back if we're going to get through this depression."
>"I applied at the warehouse downtown today...from what I hear, they still need ponies to load trucks for them..."
"Look, that's all fine and dandy, but what about now?"
>"...."
"Alright listen...I have an idea."
"You're gonna help me do a little job tonight, and if it goes well..."
"Well, maybe I might need more help later, capisce?"
>"I umm...I think I understand..."
>She replied with a faint blush on her face.
>Later that night at around midnight things had calmed down.
>Flutterbutter was combing her mane in front of her mirror waiting for Anon to come
>She had never imaged herself doing that kind of 'job'
>At least...that's what she thinks Anon meant....
>>26923749
>Than very suddenly a lound thump thump thump could be heard at her rooms door.
>"Oh...oh my."
"Yo! You ready Paesan"
>"Umm....sure....come in."
"Come in? What type of job do you think we're doing tonight get your coat on!"
>"Ohh...I thought that...well maybe..."
"Listen, get your coat on it's chilly outside and my car's running, come on already let's go."
>"Okay...."
"You drive, I gotta check my bag first okay?"
>"Okay..."
>"Where are we going exactly?"
"Upper east side, just keep driving I'll tell you when we're there."
>"Okay...what...what kind of job are we doing?"
"It's uhh...an odd job...a friend of mine needs me to pick up a car for him."
>"Ohh...well that's awfully nice of you."
"Yea, well problem is, he's kinda in a bind right now...he uh lost his keys so he needs me to go pick it up."
>"Oh my...that is a problem isn't it? How are you gonna get inside without any keys?"
"Oh well...I'm a bit of locksmith in my spare time so I've got us covered in that department."
"What I need you to do is to sorta mmmmmm...you know watch my back."
"This sorta thing can be misinterpreted."
>"Well...that doesn't sound too bad I guess."
"Good...hey listen up we're here pull up behind that Allard, you know that fancy blue car."
>>26923725
Don't get discouraged if you don't get replies right away.
Avoid:
>You are X
Don't be in such a rush to post your content, proofread, the proofread again. A lot of stories get skipped from grammar errors that could be caught in the proofreading stage.
STAY AWAY FROM:
>You did this
>You did that
>You
>You
Your clop scenes are going to be terrible starting out writefagging.
>Greentext
and Prose are both fine as long as it doesn't look sloppy.
Have fun writing, if you're not having fun, you've got a problem.
>>26923765
>Anon gesturing towards a blue Allard J2 on the side of a dimly lit road, perched next to a building reading Auto shop. A small flickering light can be seen from the window, and lone streetlamp illuminated it and the other cars lined up along the street's sidewalk.
>"Is that your friends car?"
"Sure"
"Alright listen here, keep the motor running and if it looks like I run into any trouble, just run out the car and use some of that charm of yours to help....mitigate the situation."
>"Anon....this feels kind of wrong..."
"What's wrong with picking up your friends car?"
"Listen it'll be a piece of cake, and we'll split the profit 50/50. Now how's that sound?"
>"Okay...."
"Good girl, alright keep the motor running"
>he said leaving the car.
>Sitting at the wheel Fluttershy patiently turned on the radio, flipping through the stations, none of which were satisfactory as it being late at night they were all radio shows hosted by conspiracy theorist.
>Looking up from the car stereo she could see Anon fiddling with the door.
>A loud yell emanated from the auto shop window.
>Startiling Anon and making him turn towards the noise.
"EH NIGGA, WACHA DOING WIT BIG BUBBAS CAR!!"
>A large dark colored man, much bigger than Anon left the Auto shop, with nothing but a stained white tanktop and some blue jeans.
"Easy, easy there moulinyan."
>The large man ignoring Anon lifted him by the collar of his shirt and slammed him against the car.
>"Oh...my..."
>Fluttershy frantically trying to open the car door, reaching for the doors lever and missing, until finally she snatches it and leaves Anons car tripping over her hooves in a rush to help mediate the scene
"An't no mulan nigga, and ta names sweet ricky, and dis here's big bubbas ride!"
>"Oh...um excuse me, sir."
"Huh?"
>The large man turned to Fluttershy still maintaining grip on Anon's coat.
>"Umm...my...you're big..."
>>26923779
"Wat cho wan little nigglet?"
>"Well, you see....me and my friend here were trying to return to return our mutual friends car...and we've lost the keys is all...I know how this might..."
"Friends car? Na uh nigga this an't your friends car this *clink* UHHH"
>Anon striking the large man, with a hidden pair of brass knuckles concealed inside his coat.
"Grab me be the collar, fucking monkey"
>The dark man falling to the floor as Anon continued beating him with the same hand, over and over again.
>"ANON! STOP!"
"What, oh, you're right....he's done."
>"Anon, is he gonna be okay? Do you think we should call someone?!?!? I don't feel right about any of this..."
>Anon rummaging through the man's pockets simply replies.
"What? for this guy? He's just some crazy nigger, probably trying to mug me."
>"He said this car belonged to his friend..."
"Well, his friend is my friend."
>Anon finding the man's wallet began to rummage through it taking out a neat stack of cash from it and tossing the wallet.
>"...I don't know Anon..."
"Look"
>Anon said placing his hand on her shoulder
>"Here, this is half of what I found, keep the car running."
>"Anon, this doesn't belong to us...this is stealing!"
"No, this is uhh reparations for emotional damages yea."
>"....okay...."
"Good, now keep the car running and follow me when I get this one up and going okay?"
>"....Okay.....what about the man?"
"What about him? He's just eh taking a nap, in the morning he'll be fine."
>Anon returned to the car door and at long last jimmied it open.
>The two drove down the winding roads and to a junkyard, where a dirty balding man wearing an oil-stained blue jumpsuit talked with Anon.
>Fluttershy decided to stay in Anon's car. Anon and the man laughed, and the dirty man gave Anon an envelope and took the blue car into his lot.
>Anon re-entered his car Fluttershy still in the driver's seat.
"See what I tell you flutter butter piece of cake."
"Take us home cream puff."
>>26923794
>At their home some time later, Anon sat at the coffee table wearing a white t, and some dark green pajama pants.
"EY YO FLUTTER BUTTER! IT'S TIME TO DIVY UP THE CASH!"
"Look, we made six thousand, off of one easy job."
"Here's your cut, two thousand four hundred, I skimmed a little off the top for this week's rent."
>"Thanks..."
>She replied looking down.
>"Anon...are you sure that was your friends car?"
"What? of course I am. Look we even made enough cash take care of both of us this week."
>"But the man you hit...he didn't seem to think that..."
"He was just some crazy nigger. look what is this fifty questions?"
"I'm ordering some pizza tonight, what kind do you want, it's on me?"
>"....cheese please..."
>And it was good....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXaHy814cEA
>Fin~
Next month Fluttershy still couldn't find a job and had to help Anon on another job.
Ran out of time towards the end so I skipped a picture.
>>26923492
>>26923521
No problemo.
>>26923574
I've got no links or anything, but you're bound to find something if you lurk pretty much any general. Fingerbang and Flutterrape spring to mind.
>>26923725
Write what you're interested in. Don't be afraid to ask for feedback, but also don't feel like you need to please every single person.
For every one person who responds to your writing, there are ten who are reading it without comment.
Don't overextend yourself. A story that ends a little short is better than one that peters out when the author loses interest.
Proofread before posting.
>>26923807
It's getting late where I am, but I'll be glad to read this tomorrow.
>>26923807
Anon, this was terribad, yet so silly. Surprisingly enough, I liked it.
But here's my problems with it:
Chill out with the ellipsis when Fluttershy speaks, she's timid, not out of breath.
The details of actions and environment were lacking heavily. I'm sure you want nothing more than to get your green posted, but take your time.
For example
"Good girl, alright keep the motor running"
>he said leaving the car.
Could've been
"Good girl, alright keep the motor running,"he said leaving the car.
Work on your writing structure, and stay consistent with your punctuation.
Outside of that, I like the story idea of Fluttershy sheepishly agreeing to be Anon's partner in crime, it's cute.
When did they get in the car,
>>26923116
Okay, here are my thoughts. The language is kind of flowery. Just to name an example
>gazing over the royal blue water
What does being royal blue add? It doesn't tell me anything other than that it's blue like every other ocean. Only this and the ocean breeze are the only bits of imagery used to describe the setting. I know it sounds like I'm going off on a tiny detail, and I am, but it's to highlight a recurring hiccup. What does saying that the ocean is royal blue add? What is added when you say "her turquoise orbs" as opposed to "her turquoise eyes?" That's just something to think about.
>To their surprise, Anon was the first to speak.
Why? I have no idea who these people are. Why is it a surprise that Anon speaks first.
>on his soft many-colored hair.
We already know it's many colored. No need to say so again.
>clear cerulean sky
Like before, what does cerulean add?
>decorated with only a few hints of loamy clouds
Okay, now this is a good descriptor. Clouds come in all shapes and sizes and quantities, and this descriptor informs me about what I should be imagining.
>"W-Why do you say that...?" he stuttered
Either pick the - break up words or say that he stuttered. It's kind of redundant when you have both.
>Anon's mom is dead
Why? What does this add to the story as a whole? It's not necessary
>Dolphin
That's honestly pretty cheesy. I'm sure you can find a better way for Anon to sacrifice himself to save Celestia.
>>26924218
>When did they get in the car,
Ugh, this is why I need to scroll down to makes sure everything is deleted, but I did have a point about this.
I don't recall them getting in the car
>>26924628
pls
>>26922800
. Nice to see this thread back. Here is a link to the story:
http://pastebin.com/neMhnNUE
>>26923725
Write, read, and write. Wish I could give better advice, but I can't think right now.
caution bump
Ya ain't dyin' on meeeee
>>26922773
>You’re a writer who’s been going at it for a bit now. You really enjoy what you do and put your blood, sweat, and tears into each story.
One day, the thread you are working in mysteriously 404s and the mods post a sticky on the board saying, basically, you and your kind are no longer welcome here.
Welp, time to find my audience somewhere else, I guess.
>>26928520/gtpone/ on 2*4chin can use the green.Someone was talking about that board in the Dazzlings thread, and it's not too bad of an idea
Buamp
>>26929403
le bump
boop
How does one write a greentext scene where 3 people (well, ponies) are having a conversation with eachother?
>>26931051
Give your characters more than just lines, have them do stuff, but keep in mind that someone usually ends up speaking the least.
You could have a character chime in with his two scents-- Here lemme show you.
Here's a shitty scene off the top of my head that.
"You can't be serious, Dash. You're dating that asshole again?"
>Dash glares at you, her face starting to scrunch.
>"He said he changed Anon! What's the big idea? You can't forgive ponies?"
"Dash, he framed you for-- fuck's sake, I don't even feel like spelling it out. Pinkie, will you bluntly tell Dash why dating Soarin again is bad?"
>Pinkie leans over to Dash.
>"He framed you for murder."
"MURDER!" You shout, slamming a fist on the table.
>Both the ponies jumped in their seats.
"Dash, I usually don't give two shits what kinda scumbags you chase, but Soarin is bad news. I'm surprised he got out at all."
>"Weeeeeell," Pinkie speaks up, putting a hoof on her chin and her thinking face on. "It -was- a changeling that Queen Chrysalis sent to kill Spitfire. So wouldn't that make him a hero?"
"Goddamn grey areas."
>"Anon, trust me, he's changed, you'll see."
>You raise an eyebrow before you can bring your cup of morning coffee to your lips.
"I'll see? That implies that he'll be joining us for dinner this evening or something that involves me being in the same room with him."
>Dash rubs the back of her neck, avoiding your cold gaze.
>"Yeeeah, kinda invited him to dinner for tonight."
"God damn it Dash."
That's just an example of what you can do. Point is, have your characters act their natural selves. It's more than a conversation, it's the actions between lines that can speak as well.
That's just what I do anyway.That scen was on the fly, please ignore any errors or typos
>>26931200
thanks
>>26932073
Hope that helped m8
readin' is fun
>>26933128
Reading is very fun. What's everyone reading at the moment? I haven't been reading greentext much, but I finally got around to reading 1984
>>26934220
>>26923574
I go to my search engine and type "mlp archive"
>desu archive
>ok
Then I try lots of keywords in an attempt to get greentext stories, there are some words uniquely used on greentext that are not used for normal posting, so I look some keywords in order to discover new green, you can also search for pastebins, or stuff
>>26923807
The other post is correct, and this is what I have to add. In addition to a lack of detail on the settings and actions, there wasn't much going for Fluttershy except for her slowness to go along with what Anon wanted. Even so, I had a hard time believing she would be so easy to convince. Anon had to give just one half-hearted excuse per obstacle, and she was fine. For that reason, there didn't feel like very much conflict in this. The fight with the black guy was pretty quick, and, even though you describe him as being bigger than Anon, Anon doesn't seem any worse for wear by the end. As a one-off, it was otherwise okay.
>>26925697
Okay, cool. I've got a busy night tomorrow, so I'll give you my thoughts on this Friday.
>>26934252
Take you time and thanks a lot.
I appreciate it.
bumpi
ump
bump before bed
>>26935807
>be anon
>see pone
>have awkward confrontation
>pone likes your stupid ass
>he shy
>pone comes out to you
>make sweet succulent love to pone
>win lyfe
>wake up
>clean sheets
>fin
