Twilight wants you to read her a bedtime story.
What do you read to her?
>>27456335
the ponysutra
>>27456335
The Joy of Sex
>>27456335
Naked Lunch.
>>27456335
Mane Kampf
>>27456335
Obviously Of Mice and Men
>>27456335
The ugly barnacle
>>27456335
At the mountains of madness by H.P. Lovecraft
>>27456335
>once upon a time
>rape
>>27456335
>>27456335
Twiggles: The fat lonely nerd
>>27456444
Trips confirm the Rape series by Anonymous is top quality literature
>>27456335
The story of The Donner Party.
>>27456335
This.
>>27456335
Animal Farm
>>27456335
Past Sins
H.P. lovecraft
>>27456335
Don't Stand To Close To A Naked Man
Plot Twist: I'm already naked and operating power tools
>>27456335
WHITE WHALE
HOLY GRAIL
>>27456445
>The smartest book for the smartest pony
Just smart people like myself
![51gSaz7bTAL._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/zCTQSCZ.jpg "51gSaz7bTAL._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_[1].jpg")
>>27456335
>Anon, read me a bedtime story!
Ok. What do you want me to read you?
>Make something up.
I saw a young man the other day. He was standing by the ramp to the freeway with a cardboard sign. I pulled over and asked him his story, and he told me about his time in Iraq. He'd spent two weeks under heavy fire, and got shot in the hip. It ruined his life, and any chance he had of trusting anyone again. He said his buddies left him for dead, and now he walks with a limp. I opened up my car. I knew he was hungry, so I fed him at a local diner, and then took him back to my place. He fell asleep on the couch, tired from standing all day. I took off all my clothes, and found myself staring at a man I remember looking at once before. I pulled an old shoe shining kit out from under my bed, and began painting my face black with the polish. Then I walked over to my nightstand, and retrieved my field knife. I remembered where I'd seen him before. It was in a ditch along the Truong Son trail, hiding under a pile of leaves as the Cong marched above us. That sniveling face beside me would soon cost me my life with his crying and muttering of prayers to god. A god that wouldn't save us from the Charlies putting a couple holes in our heads if he didn't shut the fuck up. That young man on my couch man on my couch had the same look on his face. He was consumed by fear. He'd never be normal again, and all he'd be is a burden on others until the day he died, miserable and afraid. So, for the second time in my life, I gave someone a soldier's mercy. Just like that Kentucky boy I left buried under the leaves in Vietnam. He could walk with god now, unafraid.
>>27456574
>O-okay anon...you don't have to tell me bedtime stories anymore.
>>27456574
>>27456574
>>27456574
I'm on a new laptop, so just imagine there's an image of a face with an expression that is a mixture of confusion and worry, as if to say "So THIS is the guy my parents warned me about when I was a kid" attached to this post.
>>27456574
Read her this exactly:
"Dormientis experrectus splendor praeteritum ne memineris incipiens primi motus mundus in dolore reanimate" its all truth man!
I feel like she'd really like The Book Theif...just because it's so simple yet dramatic!
>>27456574
Oh ok
>>27456574
>>27456335
>I'm a pig, and I smell bad. Mr. Smother is my god, and that' s what he says. He's always right. I kiss his ass. I suck everything down into my guts. I never shit. My body's greedy (there's nothing I can do about it). I ' m bloated. I ' m soft. I weigh 349 pounds . I ' m fat
scum. I despise myself.
>I' m sitting here in the pink pajama bottoms my mom gave me when I was 15. They still fit. I hate them, but I wear them. They're caked around the crotch with various foods that I dripped, and old sperm i never wiped up. My sperm's sweet. A lot of that sperm's there now because of Mr. Smother, so I like it. >I like to break it off in chunks and grind it between my fingers thinking about him. Then I feel disgusted with myself, but I like feeling that way for him. I' d like him to take a shit on my face while I lay back on the sidewalk and have people crowd around and laugh. He'd point down at my face and tell them how I deserved it, and they'd laugh again in agreement with him.
>>27456574
Kek
I have an unhealthy obsession with this fire.
>Once upon a time there was a beautiful, lush planet known as Krieg...
It's the story of the ugly barnacle
>Once there was an ugly barnacle
>He was sooo ugly, everyone died
The end
>>27457251
sponge bob fags leave
Hamster Huey and the Gooey Kablooie
>>27456335
The Lord of the Rings
better use the bathroom now kiddo, this is going to take a while
>Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria...
>…there came an era when the ideals of friendship gave way to greed, selfishness, paranoia and a jealous reaping of dwindling space and natural resources.
>Lands took up arms against their neighbors.
>The end of the world occurred much as we had predicted...
>>27456335
El ingenioso Don Quijote de la Mancha
This is the tale about a brave knight who hunted Giants and slayed pussy
>>27456335
The greatest tragedy of all time.
>>27456335
Cupcakes.
>>27456335
The stories of World Wars 1 and 2
>>27457488
>Magic, Magic never changes.
>>27457488
>The world was plunged into an abyss of balefire and dark magic.
>The details are trivial and pointless.
>The reasons, as always, purely our own.
>The world was nearly wiped clean of life.
>A great cleansing; a magical spark struck by pony hooves quickly raged out of control.
>>27456485
Awwwwmy nigga
>>27457913
Jesus, are you trying to give her nightmares?
I'd read her Fahrenheit 451.
>>27457930Sony's making an animated movie out of Ferdinand. Be very afraid.
>>27457935
>mfw that book will get more hate than the Nazi and Commie content
>>27456574
>>27456335
From the "Twilight" series. Duh!
>>27456335
Alright Twilight, listen close.
You never know true beauty until you see Ponyville from the Frozen North, or true terror until you hear someone knocking on the dark magic observation station door from the outside. You look through the ice tinted window and see a unicorn, but all your comrades are inside and accounted for. You use the comm to ask who it is, and he says it's Sgt. Gleaming Gallops returning from a surveillance mission, but Sgt. Gallops is sitting right next to you in the observation room and he's just as confused as you are. When you tell the unicorn standing outside the door this he starts banging on the door louder and harder, begging you and pleading to let him in saying he's the real Gallops. Meanwhile the Gallops inside is crying to keep the door locked shut. It really puts life in Ponyville into perspective.
>>27458036
That's creepy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mu8wT_pd4So&list=PLvSdkhSerZHaEI7mtfsfMwA0G3kzGCxqE&index=9
1984 "big brother is watching you, Twi."
>>27458036
Who would win the Thing or the Blob?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwj-OEnPKUo
>>27456574
>>27457951
Kek
>>27458131
You will overcome your disability. You will love Big Brother
>>27456574
Wait, what?
>>27457913
I was trying to post extracts from John Galt's speech (the famous 50 page speech) but its on Google docs and my pc can't load 4 Chan right now for some reason
>>27456335
The story of my cock in her mouth
>>27456574
Y-you ok Anon?
>>27456574
Good shit boi, I admire your creativity.
>>27456335
The plot of Metal Gear series.
>>27456335
Well book horse I hope you like dragons.
And sadness.this'll take a few nights
>>27456335
The hatchet
>>27456335
A nice and saucy clop fic
![5192UgWFhcL._SX365_BO1,204,203,200_[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/VnnIIr9.jpg "5192UgWFhcL._SX365_BO1,204,203,200_[1].jpg")
>>27456335
Mein Kampf
>>27456415tell me about the rabbits georges
>>27456335
>>27457951
You monster.
I was going to read her the tale of St George and the Dragon.
>>27459127
That series is shit
>>27456398
>Naked Lunch
I can think of at least two things wrong with that title
>It's a beautiful day
>You're sitting in the shadow of a huge tree, a faint smell of sunny grass dangling in the air
>In front of your eyes, a wonderful grassy field, going as far as your eyes can see, mixed with placid hills and a quiet river
>Sitting in your lap your beloved waifu, asleep.
>Smiling quietly
>on your right, your second favorite pony, her cute head lying on the side of your chest
>and she's ringing
>"Wait, what?" you think "Why the fuck is she ringing?"
>The ring gets louder, and louder
>...
>You wake up
>The clock says it's 2 am in the morning.
>Your phone is ringing
"Who the fuck..."
>You pick the receiver up, ready to cuss at whoever might be on the other side
"...hello? Who th-"
>Before you could say anything, Twilight's excited voice cuts you short
>"HI ANON! YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS, BUT I JUST READ 18 AND A HALF MAGIC THEORY AND PHYSICS BOOKS AND...and, wait a second...NINETEEEEEEEEN! NINETEEEN! MAGIC! THEORY! AND! PHYSICS! BOOOOOOOKS!!!!"
"...and now you can't sleep. Again"
>"yesyesyesyesyes"
"...and you won't stop bugging me, until I read you a bedtime story. AGAIN!"
>"YESYESYESYESYESYESYES!!!"
>>27459535
yay, a good story
DAD?
>>27459805
Sooo...Jamie Vardy is Naruto, now?
>>27456335
The Catcher in the Rye
>no children's books in this thread
>>27459822
>"And to this day no one has seen the Hungry Hungry Caterpillar"
>"But we do know one thing">"HE IS STILL HUNGRY"
Sweet dreams, Twilight.
>>27459835
and then the Hungry Hungry Caterpillar visited her crotch, later that night.
>>27459853
I don't know why, but as soon as I read it this played in my mind
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_V2sBURgUBI
Obviously this.
>>27456335
The Humpbacked Horse a.k.a. The Magic Pony, Puff the Magic Dragon, or The Last Unicorn.
>>27459505
It's been years since I read that, so I was probably remembering it better than it was, but why is it shit?
>>27456335
Old yeller
Amerigo Farina's Abnormal Psychology.
Reminds me of a prompt where you're asked to pick scary movies to watch with each of the m6.
>Twilight: The Shining
>AJ: The Happening
>Fluttershy: Man's best friend or Cujo
>Dash: Nightmare on Elm street
>Rarity: Creepshow
>Panka: IT
>>27456335
my first thought was
The Razor's Edge by W. Somerset Maugham
Its an interesting story and one that gives you some insight into parts of people that you don't always get to see.
Though I'd probably describe some of it to her and ask if she was interested. If she said no then I'd try something else.
>>27456389
Very outdated book but still plenty of good advice in there.
>>27457963
Because there are people who actually take it seriously.
>>27460846
"Chapter 1. And God said-"
>"Zzzzzzzzzz..."
"Works every time."
>>27457962
GOD NOFuck, I can see it now, they're going to get Jack Black or Seth Rogen to voice him
>>27459535
>tfw you watched that episode recently for nostalgia.
Had a good kek.
>>27456335My Little Dashie
>>27460846
For a second I thought you would just be listing names
>>27460524
Not that anon, but looking back on the series it just screams teenage angst to me. I think it was the third book that killed it for me where only the end battle really felt like it was written well.
Overall, the world building is done well and how magic is defined on a technical level is spectacular, but Eragon himself just didn't seem to ever grow up. Just my thoughts.
>>27460524
The whole thing is just a glorified self insert fantasy fanfic. Honestly I skipped over the cringiest chapters and songs because they just weren't memorable. Really high school tier writing and the only reason I can see it selling as well as it didbecause I'm not going to call it a successwas because his parents own the publishing company and held his hand every step of the way.
Everything about it is not good, and I would never have read the series if it weren't so horribly fascinating to read this kid's delusions.
>>27461554
Also the faggot set up a bar fight somewhere in the story and threw it away.
>>27456335
All the Time in the World by Arthur C. Clarke
>>27456335
Nyx of the Night.
>>27456335
Little Black Sambo.
>>27456574
Anon
You're scaring me
>>27461386
Question from someone that hasn't watched that anime.
Since many people share the same first, last and even middle names, does the anime ever address the fact that people share exact names?
>>27462685
MyIndian because Tigers aren't in fucking Africanigger.
>>27458036
I just imagine that scenario in my head
I'd totally freak out if that ever happened to me
>>27462706
Panjet you are as smooth as the tigerbutter on my pancakes.
>>27456574
That was possibly the saddest thing I've seen on /mlp/ yet. Are you alright, Anon?
>>27457976
Seriously, fuck you. Not everything that's not happy-go-lucky is 'edgy.'
>>27462728
And you're as fast as the leopard that killed my famaroni.
>>27456574
holy shit
Mein kampf
>>27456335
"Having captured every type of British tank in France (except for the Cruiser Tank Mk.VI, first employed in Operation Battleaxe in June 1941), the Germans were well aware of the appropriate ranges in which to engage the British tanks. Only the infantry tanks had gained their respect and attention as being heavily armored and difficult to combat. All of the rest were thinly armored and therefore easy to penetrate within any range that the tank and anti-tank guns could manage to hit. Special bulletins were published listing the ranges and vulnerable locations of the Infantry Tank Mark II. From examining the Infantry Tank Mark IIs that had been captured in France, the Germans determined that their anti-tank guns could penetrate its armor with destructive effect at ranges up to:
200m with the 2,8 cm Pzgr.("Panzergranate") 41 fired from the s.Pz.B. ("schwere Panzerbüchse") 41
200m with the 3,7 cm Pzgr.40 fired from the 3,7 cm Pak ("Panzerabwehrkanone")
100m with the 4,7 cm Pzgr.36(t) ("Tschechisch") fired from the 4,7 cm Pak(t)
350m with the 4,7 cm Pzgr.40(t) fired from the 4,7 cm Pak(t)
200m with the 5 cm Pzgr.39 fired from the 5 cm Pak 38
600m with the 5 cm Pzgr.40 fired from the 5 cm Pak 38
1500m with the 8,8 cm Pzgr. fired from the 8,8 cm Flak ("Flugzeugabwehrkanone) 18/36..."
>>27462694
I think the idea is that you have to be thinking of the person when you write the name, or something like that.
>>27456574
I...
Someone cap this
>>27465059
I honestly don't feel like fucking around in Paint to show reactions. Is this good enough?
>>27465059
>>27465093
Slightly better version.
>>27457951
This is the only answer
>>27456403
underrated post
![latest[2].gif](https://i.imgur.com/jvwtv6H.gif "latest[2].gif")
>>27456574
That was amazing.
>>27456335
asoiaf
>>27457488
If I’m going to tell you about the adventure of my life -- explain how I got to this place with these people, and why I did what I’m going to do next -- I should probably start by explaining a little bit about PipBucks.
That opening gives me feels and memories of good times.
https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Story:Love_Can_Bloom
>>27456335
Watership Down.
>>27456335
Tbe Tale of the Stretched Purple Ponut
I read her Five Score Divided by four.
>>27456335
War and Peace, an i'm going to make sure she stays up for the whole god damn book, no excuses, no leaving the bed, no sleeping until the last word! That'll teach her to ask for a bedtime story!
>>27456335
Now this is a story all about how my life got flipped turned upside down and I'd like to take a moment just lay in bed, I'll tell you how I came from my world to your world instead.
Sanctuary by Wm. Faulkner. (My personal preference after making it through that nightmare in Junior year.)
1984 (second preference if she's looking for something shorter)
Tears in the Darkness: The Story of the Bataan Death March and Its Aftermath
Hitler's Last Secretary- Gertraud Junge
The Life and Times of Joseph Stalin.
All Quiet on the Western Front
Toss up between Dresden Files and Kingkiller Chronicle. Or Discworld. Never enough Discworld.
>>27467115
You forgot about Slaughterhouse 5 and Lord of the Flies.
>>27456574
>>27456335
I am going to read you one of my favorite fantasy books, Twilight.
It's about a human wizard called Harry Potter.
>>27456335
50 shades of gay
>>27456335
Go the fuck to sleep.
>>27456335
Twilight
>>27468631
how horrifying
How the Universe Works: Starkillers
>>27468631
>cowboy accent intensifies
>>27456335
The back of my hand.
Now go to sleep, shithead.
>>27456335
Here is a story where a girl fell in love with her brother
>>27456335
The scum manifesto
It was the evening on the 3rd of February 2008...
Any manual
>>27462694
You need to know the first and last name, and you need to know what they look like.
>>27456574
I was not expecting that, that the hell
>>27456335
Growing guides
>>27456415
No fuck off. Horses shouldn't be made to cry.
>>27457778
is that the Tempest by big willy shakes?
>>27461554
The absolute worst thing about that story was just how bloody unlikeable the main characters where, everyone except maybe eragons brother roran were completely unbearable for most of the bloody book.Killing off the BBEG with a god damn Deus Ex Machina because the chump had written himself into a corner is also generally a pretty shitty thing for an author to do
I'm kinda disappointed that his parents held his hand through that though, I mean if that shit could have gotten published by its own merits thenmy novel must have a chance right?
No such luck I guess, back to anxiety row I guess.
