There's a strip club in Ponyville now. All of the Mane Six and your favorite non-mane six ponies are working there.
The amount of physical money you currently have in your possession is transformed into bits. Credit cards and money in the bank doesn't count, only physical cash which you currently have with you. 1 U.S. dollar = 1 bit.
To watch the pony of your choice pole dance to one song costs 2 bits.
To get a lapdance from the pony of your choice costs 10 bits.
To take the pony of your choice into the VIP room costs 50 bits.
What are you able to afford and who do you do it with?
>>27347784
trigger warning
>>27347784
What's the point in a strip club if they usually wear no clothes?
>>27347795
lapdances
>>27347795
Then it is a dress club
>>27347795
Instead of stripping they sensually put clothes on.
So 5 private room visits and lots of change.... Nice
>>27347946
If we were counting money in the bank I'd be way over 100 private room visits lol
>>27347784
I have no cash
>>27347784
>1 bit to $1
That's not the right exchange rate. Not adjusted for PPP, extrapolating from the price of tomatoes based on recent US data, the a dollar is worth 1 bit and 11 cents.
>>27347873
"Applejack what are you doing?"
>"Strippin"."
>She's doing something but it ain't stripping.
>Look around you, you notice that the other stallions are diamonds.
>But she's putting clothes on...
>Suddenly it hits you.
>Maybe that's why the mares are so flirty with you.
>>27347784
Instead of wasting money for a one night stand, why not get it for free?
Look, we all want to go to Equestria and we all imagine ways of making it, but wasting money there isn't even practical unless you have a steady source of income. What you need is a surefire way to get laid when you want it and how you want it. I have a plan.
Ponyville is a pretty small village/town, so everyone is pretty local. You just need to work your way into the society. You are going to need to be an interesting character in order for any of this to work, you need to be someone that can handle their own, but also someone who can handle others. You got the hardest part down, and that's getting to Ponyville, now you just need to make a name for yourself. You're gonna need guts, charisma, good karma, decent looks, and a positive attitude. You need to be able to manipulate any pony into doing anything. Assuming you got the essentials of: Living quarters, money supply, and food supply down, we can skip the boring stuff. We'll start off slow. I'll skip basics and get to the main plan:
>Step 1: Relations through immersion
Just being in Ponyville and talking to the citizens will end up netting you some positive karma and good outlooks, but that is just the very beginning. Take time to note the town for itself and learn the inner workings of everything. Learn how the ponies interact with each other and the overall mood and tone of your surroundings. Being new around will draw attention, so the conversations that appear will open opportunities for friendship.
>Step 2: Making acquaintances
You need friends. Regarding Step1 you should be somewhat social with the ponies by now, but you might not have any close enough yet. The recommended way to go about this is to casually talk to a few ponies and expand your friends mutually. This way you build close relationships while simultaneously creating new ones that slowly grow stronger.
1/? Continue?
>>27347784
I can get 1/4 a pole dance
>>27347784
>of being ivanon
>ponyville get new horse barn
>you are knowing is horse barn because horses are gathering inside
>where else horses go?
>of anyways, you are of being boredom and enter inside to see what is like.
>turns out horseland horsebarns are nice places
>male horses sit around at tables and booths and do the watching of female horses
>kinda reminds you of home strip clubs
>the kind of strip club that get you in much trouble when mamaslav find out you spend all nights there
>is reminding of home...
>across the way there is a large sitting area where some horses of gather and drink.
>that is all ivanon is needings to stay in fancy horsebarn
>with the quickest of speed that only slavs can muster you slowly hobble to bar
>if you were trying to be of blendings, you fail.
>you are easily largest of creature here, and you stick out like person claiming to be slav but cant squat
>squat is an art!
>of anyways...
"drink horse! ivanon request best drink in the barn!"
>the drink horse is of giving ivanon strange look
>"barn..? whatever.. alright that will be 12 bits."
>the drink horse place tall bottle of strange drink in front of ivanon
>drink horse is clearly new
>ivanon handings the bottle back to drink horse
"Ivanon request best drink! not fancy cider!"
>drink horse gets a look of upset on horseface
>"that "fancy cider" is the highest quality drink ponyville can provide. what would YOU like then?"
>ivanon quickly does the pointings to recognizable bottle on bar
"Russian standard"
>the drink horse looks back to where ivanon is the pointing
>"Russian standard? i dont have that.. do you mean Griffon Standard?"
>drink horse cannot be the serious...
>ivanon is not fool that bottle is of clearly russian standard.
>but ivanon must play nice to get glorious vodka..
>be of playing cool.
>ivanon does the reachings into pocket and place small pile of bits on table
"yes.. RUSSIAN standard."
>as the bottle is placed on counter ivanon quickly remove top of bottle
>>27347784
i would fuck until i die, i have millions
>>27348604
oh shit, i have none ON me though
>>27348469
>this is best place in all horseland!
>ivanons words leave lips like the coo of pretty russian dove
"preettyyy ponies! iva-hic-non is here!"
>ivanon is takings of seat between good friends at dance booth
>if ivanon could remember name of friends he would say
>but they must have went to be getting more drink as booth is suddenly of empty when ivanon sit
>all except pretty dance horse who is the lookings of unsure
>perhaps is her first night dancing
"dont.. dont of worryings.. ivanon easy to please."
>when taking of drink from bottle ivanon pull out bits and toss to dance horse
>reluctantly she does the dancing on large metal pole
>"i haven't seen anyone like you here before.."
>as dance horse is doings her best to make joke ivanon laugh loudly to prove joke indeed funny
>dance horse smiles slightly while lookings around
>probably because she hope new horse come to meet ivanon too.
>ivanon good friend to ponies
>especially when is drink..
>ponies always more pretty then..
>"would you like to take things somewhere private? only thirty-- fifty bits!"
>dance horse smile to ivanon making ivanon feeling the very excited at offer
>ivanon stand up from table and give bow to dance horse nearly falling to floor
>but ivanon too good for floor!
"that is of soundings nice"
>before long ivanon is in private room with dance horse
>already dance horse is getting the horse frisky with ivanon
>ivanon has barely sit down when horse is already rubbing on him like friendly house cat
>but with different parts of body
>"alright that will be fifty bits."
>oh, of right, the bits
>ivanon is of checking pockets before realizing is out of bits
>but luckily ivanon has been training for this moment all slav life.
>with strength of bear ivanon push away horse and run out of room
>"hey he didnt pay!"
>dance horse actually informant horse!
"NIKKO! ROMAN! be startings the car!"
>ponies in classy Adidas track suit rush out of bar with ivanon
>ah, such is life in the horseland
>>27348604
oh shit, i have none ON me though
>>27347784
>stripper ponies
muh fetish
>$70
Perfect, one of each service with leftover bits.
Who the fuck carries around cash?
Cash in my possession?
Roughly $26 , €10, £5, 190000 ₩, and 3600¥
So, whatever that translates into bits
>>27347784
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=A-07K5abVKw
>>27348872
Nobody, we're all just pretending. Go back to school, little boy.
>>27348952
klekles!
>>27348835
I feel you, stripper ponies and top tier fetish bro
>>27347784
>pony strip club
>>27349103
You gay?
>>27349103
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=USgQs9L2gjQ
>>27348138
Now that's an idea I want to see more of
>>27348469
>>27348711
my sides
>>27347784
$700 or so much, looks like its gonna be a grand time for me boys.
>>27348905
This shit's unrelated, but do you happen to have the caps of some kid who got raided back in 2013? He took a picture with George Takei
>>27347784
>~120 dollars
I'm blowing this shit all at once. Spitfire and Celestia are coming to a room with me... together.
Lap dances are just teasing that leads up to an over hyped and ultimately empty act that we only idolize because it feels good.
>>27347784
Is this techntechnically the anon the strpipper thread?
>>27347784
A place where they put the clothes on?
Ponies are sexier IN clothes so in the strip club they would wear sexy outfits and dance provocatively.
joke's on you, my waifu is not a pony so I get all that for free :^)
>>27347784
>tfw you have half a bit to your name
>>27348138
I need more green text of this type of shit.
>>27352028
Saying you get these things already led me to believe that you're saying you have a 3D human wife, but then you went on to say that you get it for no cost, so I know that you can't be talking about a woman. I don't understand.
>>27351862
which would be great
>>27349904
I know what youre talking about actually
I think I do
>>27348604
oh shit, i have none ON me though
>>27352211
You better post the others
>>27352541
Post the "dominant" Anon thread where OP was mad about women having free will
>>27348469
>>27348711
kek
>>27347784
>>27348835
I find these incredibly hot for some reason
>>27348138
GREEN WHEN
>>27355619
me too man
>>27348469
>>27348711
very gud green comrade. i rate kalashikov/vodka
Stripper ponies playset
>>27359062
Noice
>that celestia
is this a real thing
>>27347784
Equestrians don't have strip clubs, they're dressage clubs.
Watching some hot filly or stallion slink into a sexy pair of socks, a unicorn dancing with a lacy negilgee before wearing it, that sort of thing.
>>27348163
to hell with all that
the ponies are tiny, they only come up to your waist. take what you want, you are now their giant monkey king
you take what you want and the pones obey because they fear you. obviously you have a huge harem of pones
such is life in equestria
I'd be more into burlesque.
>>27360991
>>27352083
My waifu's race is not a pony
>>27347784
I'd have a private meeting with Starlight Glimmerbecause seeing her whore for money like that disgusts me. I'd then help her find a better job.
>>27360873
Yup this is a real thing
