>"I can't believe no one asked me to the fall formal..."
>"Huh? Anon?! How long have you been standing there?!"
>>26782305
30 seconds.
>>26782305
Uh...
>>26782305
You stupid cunt i manifest whenever something, ANYTHING occurs that could potentially make a story or a dramatic event.
>>26782305
Do you think that might have something to do with the last fall formal? The one where you got drunk, puked in the punch bowl, tried to feel up your friends, then spent the next two hours in the bathroom crying?
>>26782305
All day. Someone put superglue on my shoes...and inside them.
>>26782338
Please help me.
>>26782322
>"What?"
>>26782305
"Dash, this is the fourth time you've 'accidentally' complained about not having a date to the formal near me."
>"...So, do you have a date, or...?"
"I'm fairly certain there are rules against a teacher and a student going together."
>"A-actually there aren't! The rules don't say anything about-"
"Have a nice day, Ms. Dash."
>"Drat...If I hurry, I can catch him on his way out to his car..."
>>26782322
>Anon is merely an agent of the gods to make the world more interesting.
>Anons only purpose in life is to create drama.
>>26782366
This is going in a direction I like
>>26782380
YES
>>26782305
"Sorry, Dash, I didn't mean to startle you..."
>"N-no, it's ok! How are you doing!?"
"Uh, fine...truth is...I have to ask you a thing..."
>"Uh s-sure! What is it?"
"So...I didn't mean to eavesdrop but...I heard nobody asked you to the fall formal..."
>"Uh, well, yes..."
"And nobody asked me, so..."
>"!!!!"
"O-of course you can say n-"
>"Oh my god anon! I accept!! YES! I W-"
"Good! So you'll clean bathroom stalls in my place!? I'm going to spend the whole fall formal night watching anime on Netflix!"
>"......."
"GREAT! You're a real friend!!"
>>26782396
>That night Dash cleaned the bathroom stalls like never before
>Then Hanged herself.
>>26782320
Eagle eyes dash?
Id ask you but..
>let's go boy!
Yes dear
>>26782305
Since you turned me down for the fall formal a minute ago.
>>26782380
I had been writing a story a real long time ago where that was the hidden backbone. It was going to be that Anon was summoned to Equestria by Discord unbeknownst to him to serve as a chaotic stake between the main 6 to ruin the elements of harmony. Too bad Keep Calm happened and I had to drop the idea because reformed Discord.
>>26782305
Long enough to know you're a whore, now repent or face an eternity in Hell
>>26782305
>Rainbow sighs deeply, sitting by her lonesome at a park picnic table.
>You watch from a nearby tree like some creepy anime stalker dude, and take a couple breaths gathering your nerve.
"Okay Non. Here you go old bean."
>She leans on her elbow, blinking slowly down at the wooden surface.
>"I can't believe no one asked me to the Fall Formal.."
>You put your hands behind your back rocking on your heels as you stand next to her. She either didn't notice your approach or just ignored it.
"Uh...Hey Rainbow."
>She perks up, and looks up at you.
>"Huh? Anon?! How long have you been standing there?"
"I just got here."
>You sit down a nice distance from her.
>She blushes holding her hands in her lap.
>"S-so uh...what did you want?"
>You rub the back of your head turning red as well.
"I had to ask you something...uh..Hoo boy.."
>She looks at you with big eyes.
"There's this person I wanted to ask to th-the formal.."
>She gasps, holding a hand to her chest.
>"You do?!"
>You nod slowly.
"They're athletic, and cute..and their body is just...DYNAMITE. I'd be stupid not to ask them out!"
>Dash blushes hard, fidgeting in her seat.
>"D-dynamite?"
"Oh yeah! I'd lick them all over, if you know what I mean~"
>She pushes you playfully turning redder than I R Baboon’s buttcheeks.
>"Cut it out! You want someone to hear you?!"
>You chuckle feeling a little more at ease.
"Let me cut to the chase. I was thinking that maybe you would like to--"
>Your faces inch closer, and closer.
>"Yeah...?"
"That you would like to---ask Soarin if he'd go to the fall formal with me?
>"......."
>>26782305
Why do girls complain no one asks them out? Just go up to a guy and ask him first. It doesn't have to be a one way street. No clue how we have this "progressive" society, but men still have to make the first move.
>>26782515
You bastard
>>26782535
Because what they mean by "progressive" is just women getting whatever they want as easily as possible.
>>26782535
>>26782535
Is it boy's choice kind of dance? Ever been to highschool?
>>26782614
I'm just sayin' we live in a world where women are allowed to vote, work as managers, hell, one's running for president. And yet, when dating, the man is still expected to make the first move and pay for everything. Feminism is a joke. It just picks and chooses what it wants.
>>26782535
Because even though the progression is there, most woman still have instincts that have been ground into them for a really long time. There are still tons of movies that have the male acting strong, forward, and in charge and a lot of woman like that deep down. Half of the time when they have a strong female lead in a movie, it's accompanied by a weak, clumsy idiot which makes a lot of people think of the man as a joke rather than as the woman being strong to hold her own. It's typically the focus that he's not a 'man's man' and a whimsy dude so much so that the woman next to him has to cover his ass to make up for his non-manlyness. Talk to a lot of women out there. If they're not the internet type of woman, they tend to mostly still play the passive game.
>>26782305
Daily reminder that NaOH won't come back.
>>26782366
That's hot.
>>26782665
>Talk to a lot of women
You need to leave this board if you're going to continue to be this normal.
>>26782322
>Interdimensional Anon is always there when a story is about to unfold
>You're enjoying a nice sandwich at lunch
>So far, today's been pretty good
>Nothing weird has happened in almost a week
>In a flash, you're standing outside the janitor's closet taking a bite out of your non-existent sandwich
"Fucking great. What is it this time?"
>You hear noises coming from the closet
"Oh, let me guess, I'm going find two people making out in here, right?"
>You open the door and see Sunset making out with Rarity
>"Anon, I can explain!"
"For the love of God..."
>"I didn't mean for this to happen..."
"Why do you think I give a shit?"
>"It just sort of happened..."
"Oh, you and I are dating. Gotcha. Look, Sunset; I just don't give a shit anymore, and honestly, I-"
>You're transported to another hallway of the school.
>Twilight is running down the hallway, tears running down her face.
>"Take that, you purple cunt!"
>It's Flash yelling.
"Fantastic. We're in the 'Brad's a complete asshole dimension' what a surprise?"
>Twilight runs into your arms.
>"An..."
>She sniffles.
>"Anon?"
"What?"
>"I'm not a know-it-all-bitch, am I?"
"Well, kinda."
>Twilight shoves you away and balls as she runs down the hallway.
>With another flash, you're standing next to Rainbow Dash in the front row of bleachers, watching the high school football game.
>She's leaned into you.
>"Isn't this rad, Anon?"
"Not really."
>"What?!"
"Yeah, fuck this. It's cold. I barely know you. I already know how this is going to end: with me fingerbanging you under the bleachers...wait. No, that's not right. Sorry, things just run together these days."
>"What are you talking about?"
>Another flash.
>>26782727
>You're in Pinkie's bedroom.
>She's laying on her bed watching TV, butt-naked.
>You're in your boxers.
"Really now?"
>Pinkie jumps up and shushes you.
>"Anon, I told you my parents are in the other room!"
"Oh, wow. Isn't that interesting? Fake tension that doesn't actually matter!"
>"Anon, quiet!"
>"Pinkie, is that you?"
>"Oh no."
>You hear the cocking of a shotgun pump through the door.
"Oh shit."
>Flash.
>"Thanks fer all the help today, Anon. How 'bout I repay y'all fer yer effort?"
>Applejack is undoing her overalls.
"That is not sexy. Like, at all."
>Flash.
>"Thanks for helping me take care of all these animals, Anon. H-how about I repay you f-for all your effort?"
>Fluttershy is slowly lifting her shirt.
"No...wait, what? I was just doing this bit with Applejack, and-"
>Flash.
>You're in a treehouse with the CMC.
>"Hey, Anon!"
"No."
>Flash.
>"Anon, I know I'm a dog, but can you uh...'
"NO!"
>Flash.
>"Anon, why have you stopped talking to me?"
>Flash.
>"Anon, look! An orgy!"
>Flash.
>"Anon, look at what Flash gave me!"
>Flash.
>"Anon, I need to see you in my office!"
>Flash.
>"Anon, ist es Zeit, die Juden zu vernichten!"
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
>>26782711
>Normies REEEEE
Yep, it sure is tough to be human.
>>26782737
>"Anon, ist es Zeit, die Juden zu vernichten!"
I chuckled good one.
>>26782737
Eventually, Anon's mind breaks and he no longer knows he's a dimension hopper. Every thread of /mlp/ has been the same Anon, even when meeting another. No one knows what sins he committed to earn this hell, but we know one thing; his sentence began on February 17, 2012.
You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you?
>>26782783
>>26782305I didn't get asked to my formal either... It was 3 weeks ago and nobody even bothered to acknowledge I exist.
Hello darkness, my old friend.
>>26782812
>anon doxxed himself with 'nasty' rule 34 pictures
>>26782783
Are you from Finland by any chance
>>26782878
Meant for
>>26782830
>>26782892
I was wondering what the hell you were talking about.
>>26782833
As soon as you leave high school, you'll stop caring
>>26782953
Fugg my mistake
>>26782515
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YaG5SAw1n0c
>>26782977
>"It hurts to live, sugarcube."
There any legit writefags around?
You guys are missing out
>>26783497
For this thread? No. Not every thread needs a writer
>>26783497
Yes, I'm a "legit" writefag. I've already done my bit, and had my fun
>>26783573
>not every thread needs a writer
>>26782305
I REALIZE
Cmon dash you pretty much set that up for me
>>26782977
Where can I get one of these?
>>26783814
I don't get it
>>26782737
>ist es Zeit, die Juden zu vernichten
SIEG HEIL!!
>>26782737
Keks were had. I could get down with this idea.
>>26782737
>>26782727
Good, except for the fact that dimension jumping anon is a flaming faggot
Bump xd
>>26782362
>that RD
>>26782362
>>26785010
Someone make a story of anon asking nerd Dash out
Haven't seen any DashAnon green in awhile
>>26785064
da, what this comrade said
>This is it
>Today is the day
>After weeks of stalling, the day you designated as "become a man" day arrives
>Most kids headed home an hour ago
>Those of you who have club activities all leave around this time
>And, as you hoped, you follow the sidewalk out to the front of Canterlot High and find Rainbow Dash waiting for her friends
>Along with Rarity
"Uh oh."
>There's always next weekend, it's fine
>You shut your eyes and pinch your nose
>No!
>What is there to be afraid of?
>Other than being rejected in front of the school's busy body
>You approach, shifting your backpack around on your shoulder and humming to calm your nerves
>Her big, multicolored ponytail bobs up and down as she gestures wildly with her right hand
>"Isn't that awesome?"
>"Uh, I suppose so, dear."
>"You suppose? Gaben HIMSELF posted that. He called him an ass, can you believe it?"
>Rarity, not even trying to mask her discomfort, slowly nods her head
>"Oh, by the way, Bethesda's having a sale right now. I have an idea to get you into video games. What do you think-"
>Dash raises her index finger and pauses
>"-about modding beautiful dresses into a fantasy world, with elves, orcs, and Silt Striders?"
>"What?"
>"We'll put them online and everything!"
>"Modding...?"
>"I'll wear them on stream! What do you say? Actually, I had a dream about this last ni-"
>"ANONYMOUS!"
>Rainbow jumps at the sudden raise in volume
>Though Rarity moves forward to speak to you, Rainbow stays, facing away
>"What are you up to?"
"Just heading home."
>"Us too. Waiting on the girls!"
>Her excitement to speak with you is nice
>But the sympathy you feel for Rainbow being ignored easily overpowers it
>"Did you have something to say?"
>She sounds about ready to beg you to change the subject
"I did, actually."
>Rarity smiles
"It's..."
>You swallow hard
"Uh..."
>She blinks
"...I was wondering if I could... borrow..."
>"...A cell phone?"
>You shake your head
>>26785837
>"A drink?"
>She takes a bottle of water out of a slot on Rainbow's backpack and holds it out to you
"No, no-"
>"It's fine! You look parched, dear."
>She lightly presses it into your chest
>"Rainbow doesn't mind."
>You tense up
>What the fuck is Rarity doing
>Though you are extremely thirsty. You hesitate before turning the drink down again
>"Ha, you're not afraid of germs, are you? A boy, afraid of germs?"
>Her words are mean, but the tone tells you she means no harm
>"Don't tell me you're afraid of something else."
"Like what?"
>She raises an eyebrow
>Rainbow slouches
>"You know..."
"I, I don't."
>She grins
>"Cooties, Anonymous."
>Your mouth opens, dumbfounded
>"From second... hand... k-"
"Rarity, I'm not thirsty alright?"
>Bad joke or attempt at teasing, whatever is was, Rarity stops
>With a little pout
>The bottle is slipped back into the backpack and she clasps her hands together
>"Well, what do you need then?"
"I wanted to know if I could borrow a. A person."
>At this her hands come unclasped, her eyes big with surprise, and her mouth agape
>She checks from the corner of her eyes that Rainbow is still looking away before pointing at herself and putting on a worried expression
>You shake your head
>As a smile creeps back onto Rarity's face and her finger slowly makes its way to Rainbow, you shake your head
>"OOH!"
>She roughly pats Rainbow's shoulder a half dozen times
>"Dashie!"
>Her posture becomes lazier, more uncomfortable, as her shoulder's slapped around
>"You heard the man! He's got something to tell you in-"
>Rarity leans around her friend and wiggles her eyebrows up and down
>"-Pri~vate!"
>Jesus
>Rarity must be REALLY excited to get out of that conversation
>Her dedication to avoid talk of dorky stuff leads her to run a hand through Dash's hair, straighten out her shirt collar and glasses
>Then she picks her keytar off of the ground
>"I'll be over there!"
>She runs past, not... nearly far enough to get out of earshot
>"Pr-practicing!"
>>26785845
Fuck, I meant "nod" of course.
>She starts up the melody of their band's latest song
>Waving her hips left and right
>Rainbow on the other hand becomes even less lively
>About ready to fall onto the grass
>Perhaps she's caught on to your intention, and isn't a fan of the idea
"Hey, Rainbow."
>"..."
"Sorry to intrude on your conversation."
>Though it looked pretty one sided
"I uh, I was wondering. Do you have any plans today?"
>The words come easier than expected, but the anxiety's about to turn your stomach
>She shrugs
>This is...
>A rejection, isn't it?
>Won't even look at you
"You don't know?"
>Isn't even talking
>You know you should feel humiliated, but that won't hit until you're walking away
>While you're browsing the internet later
>As you're trying to fall asleep
>Fuck
"You... you could just say no."
>You scratch your arm
>For a second it sounds like she's about to say something and you feel relief
>But she was only sighing
>...
"Well I'll head off then. Have a good afternoon, Rainbow."
>The music behind you stops and something hits the ground
>Rarity dashes past you and stops in front of your intended walkway
>"It's not a no!"
"Huh?"
>"Right Dashie?"
>After a tense moment of silence, Rainbow groans
>Rarity wraps an arm around her and spins her around, but she keeps her head low
>"I believe Anonymous has just invited you to spend some time with him! Isn't it so?"
>She looks to you expectantly
"...Yeah, I'm going to get some food. Maybe hang out in town a little bit."
>"Oooooh! You know what that sounds like to me, Rainbow?"
>"...Rarity... come on..."
>She playfully rolls her eyes and gives you a thumbs up
>"I think she would LOVE to keep you company today, Anonymous, I think so very much!"
>>26786069
alright alright alright
>>26786069
Continue senpai.
Also page 8 bump
>>26782366
>TeacherAnon
Miss that thread...
>>26786069
>This mad woman!
>So eager to get rid of her friend?
>Anger is at least a bit more comfortable than anxiety
>You pull on your backpack strap and lean a bit to the right
"I don't think she's up for it, Rarity. It's... it's fine."
>You pass the girls, Rarity's distressed face following you around
>Three feet away
>Turns out that's all it took for that humiliation to set in
>Stepping off of the grass and onto the dirt road starts your long, long walk of shame
>"...Wait!"
>Something small rolls up to your foot
>Was that...
>You turn around and find Rainbow, foot forward, arm outstretched, face bright red
>And glasses missing, having flown off of her face from the force of spinning around
>"P-"
>Her voice cracks
>"Pick me up at eight!"
>Rarity beams
>Rainbow covers her face
>You scratch your head
"I have to be home by then to help clean the house."
>She runs her hands through her hair
>"Uh, pick me up in an hour!"
>Squinting and kneeling, she pats the grass
"I don't know where you live-"
>"M-Meet me at McDonalds, okay!"
>She stands up and breaks into a sprint, with big, awkward strides and wobbly legs
>Before she gets very far you can hear that she's lost her breath
>Rarity approaches, hands held behind her bottom, leaning forward with a weird grin
"I'm sort of confused."
>"What's there to be confused about, darling? You got a yes. Cheer up!"
>She pokes your cheek
>"Turn that frown upside down, as Pinkie would say."
"Is she alright, do you think?"
>"Of course! She's absolutely fi-"
>Rarity bends down and retrieves the glasses
>"She is EXTREMELY farsighted. I'd better get these to her before she reaches the road."
>Pulling on her keytar strap, and after pausing to pat you on the back - no doubt a sadistic show of appreciation for removing who she views as a pest from her day! - she follows after her friend
>They both disappear behind the trees
>...
>Unsure of how to feel, or what to think, you once again tug on your backpack strap and head out
>>26787295
>Thirty minutes later you find yourself sitting at a table covered in sticky gunk and stale fries
>The ads on the inside of the windows hang loose, and there's a shattered beer bottle in the walkway
>Man! You've never seen a McDonalds this clean before
>It gets you a little excited
>Or that might be the impending date with your childhood crush
>You rest your chin on your hand to daydream about her hair, flowing in the wind as she ran through the grass so gracefully
>A syrup-like substance engulfs your elbow
>You sigh and lean back
"Fucking McDonalds."
>A minute into wiping it off with someone's abandoned - but clean - napkins, a thought hits you
>As hesitant as Rainbow was to accept, what if she doesn't show up?
>You get up and stand in front of the door, out of the way of approaching customers
>Surely she wouldn't do that to you
>You hope
>...
>It's been an hour
>A full hour of doing nothing
>It's done
>Everything's over
>Rainbow Dash is complaining to Rarity, who is blogging about this farce right now
>The link to her Tumblr has been circulating like crazy ever since she accidentally posted a photo of herself in her bra and panties
>On Monday, everyone in school will know you as the sticky-elbowed loser who struck out with the most beautiful girl in-
>"Anon?"
>You turn around
Rainbow Dash is staring at the door she's holding open
>"If you're waiting for me... um... I'm inside... so..."
"Of, of course."
>A good five seconds later you walk by her and feel the cool air and pop music wash over you
>>26782535
>womyn's make first move
>rejected repeatedly
>suddenlydevelop empathy about how they let down guys
This is why, it humanize you to them and they hate it.
Bampo
>>26787302
Go on...
Ok
>>26787963
Speak English motherfucker
>>26787302
Oh I'm sorry, did I break your concentration?
Please, continue, this is good stuff
4-20
Boop
>>26791729
Bump desu
>>26787302
You better not be dead
>>26787302
bump for this
>>26793682
>Hella
>>26793868
>Rad
>>26793938
>Beans
>>26794189
>Maxine
>>26787302
>>26794330
>Shaka-
Where the fuck is this writer at?
>>26794344
No idea. But i'll shitpost as long as he's not present.
Brump
>>26782305
It's not hard when you realize how shit and annoying you are
>>26794826
That's harsh sir
>Insert relevant comment
>when u bump at 1 am
>>26782305
where are all the writefags gone
>>26795906
And where are all the gods?
Where's the street wise Hercules to fight the rising odds?
Bam
>>26782305
none called me. this is way worse....
>>26796093
You need a bumper.
Someone to keep the thread, til the morning light.
>>26796628
you've gotta shitpost and ya gotta spam memes from morning until night
Bop
>>26782305
>>26782989
The second time today my sides have been launched into orbit.
>>26798269
Bump ok
Ok desu
>when u wait
>10 minutes lator
Meme
>>26782305
About tree fiddy
>>26782305
bump
stop bumping dead threads
Hopeful bump
>>26800638
We got a writefag in the thinking process.
Silence
>>26782305
Long enough to realize that you were just like me trying to make history
>>26800638
Bump
>>26782305
How about... Winter Formal, Dash?:^)
>>26782305
>Nobody's asking anyone
>They all know the next magical Equestrian demon thing will come and attack during the formal
>Everyone is planing on staying home.
Bloke
This world spins faster than you know
I want to die
>>26802026
That sounds like a good title. Someone write a story already. We have a title.
I want to have loving intercourse with rainbow dash for my first time
>>26803990
you and me both, You and me both..
I'd crack that hard outer of hers like i'd crack her hymen with my fat throbbing moon cock.
>>26804199
Why is Nerd Dash so perfect?
>>26804360
She just is. though my cock does not ask those kind of questions.
>>26787302
We're waiting on you
Bitch
When u see a copycat
Emergency bump
RIP thread
>>26805670
It ain't over till it's over
Xddd
>>26787302
Alright (alright, alright)
I'm gonna bump for the last time tonight.
If I don't see some green (I'm gonna be sad, but seriously take all the time you need t b h)
>>26804437
It's been two days
>>26806206
I believe in Fetcher
I believe in you jim
live dammit
Pearl Harbor idk
If there's no new updates by the end of today, I'm gonna let it die...
(Fetcher pls)
>>26782305
I just wanted to ask you if you had any advice on asking Fluttershy out?
>>26811363
this
