>>26411050
1 https://archive.today/f0oQ3
2 https://archive.today/dI35Q
3 https://archive.today/o0ktE
4 https://archive.today/w071K
5 https://archive.today/L40YG
6 https://archive.today/EaVK7
7 https://archive.today/uCJn9
8 https://archive.today/c1XZZ
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10 https://archive.today/Jmtlu
11 https://archive.today/eqheI
12 https://archive.today/qkLek
13 https://archive.today/EDijG
14 https://archive.today/ZbNtc
15 https://archive.today/CnI1z
16 https://archive.today/pTcOu
17 https://archive.today/MXTjw
18 https://archive.today/kk3FI
19 https://archive.today/JFE0I
20 https://archive.today/wygJG
21 https://archive.today/3bu9x
22 https://archive.today/63p7X
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24 https://archive.today/kKu4B
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29 https://archive.today/EP1S2
30 https://archive.today/0rb3f .5 https://archive.today/Y5NYc
31 https://archive.today/ONFET
32 https://archive.today/MpCy9
33 https://archive.today/Cqdkc
34 https://archive.today/tts5W
35 https://archive.today/kwIRG
36 https://archive.today/x5j0H
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40 https://archive.today/69MUD
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46 https://archive.today/Ah1u9
47 https://archive.today/Eh4Jl
48 https://archive.today/siDSi
49 https://archive.today/VFpsr
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51 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20740272/
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Here is full archive of the stories in condensed, easy-to-read form with all chatter in-between removed.
Check out the pastebin here:
http://pastebin.com/u/PrincessApplejack

Curious what happened last time, or just wanna know what happens during an active thread?
Check out the previous thread here:https://desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26346142
You are completely new and have no idea what is going on? There is a wikia with an overview of all characters, a complete timeline, previous thread recaps and explanation of the various concepts used in these stories!
Check out the wiki here:http://princess-aj.wikia.com/wiki/Princess_Applejack_Wiki

Confused about when a character first showed up or who they are? Want to know when an arc started?
Check out character notes and details here :
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1PsMAwLcIdC3IYxezAV9Ko4neEguNvc3eQqQqiTCxdDs/edit#gid=2119378650

We have begun working on a big project to fix up old stories and make this crazy world more coherent and accessible to new readers who don't like the thread format.
Check out the 'Princess Applejack: Re-Cut Edition' here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/15cv3kqExr_vOM0JkUh4dqnvVKxJ5Z-P1KHwE8Z7aG0k/edit?usp=sharing
And finally, while most of the thread is very much clop free, we have a pastebin in case you're feeling a little more naughty with your writing, find it here. http://pastebin.com/u/PrincessAJAfterDark please upload any like it to a pastebin so they can be added out of thread.
And above all else, enjoy your stay at /paj/!

First for OH SHIT DASH WHAT DID YOU DO

>>26411129
She has made poor life choices, anon. Very poor life choices.

>>26411050
>Chitty finally in the OP

YES

File: Madam Pie.png (3 MB, 2550x3300) Image search: [Google]

3 MB, 2550x3300

>Pinkie Preview


>I make a special delivery
>Vekir’s suit malfunctions
>the Empire’s paperwork wants 18 back
>Vinyl tries to get Octavia and Chitania to make up
>2 picks up a bad habit
>Twilight tries to figure out how hooves can pick up things
>Jetset goes through AJ’s desk
>Gwen doesn’t get enough attention.
>unrequited fanservice

>>26411240
It is funny because she was next in line back when we did the troll headers but it fell on thread 42, and we never went back to her. Mainly because by the time we could we couldn't figure out how to make it funny and not forced.

>>26411253
>>Gwen doesn’t get enough attention.

That's the truth.

Never quite recovered from the Kingsmoot thing.

>>26411289
Think about this, Gwen hasn't been seen in almost two months, But in story time, her bit with Shiny where she said "Our trade or the Changelings" was only a week ago.

>>26411264
I remember that, the problem was she literally had never once actually interacted with Applejack. They had seriously even by thread 42 never actually spoken to one another. It was trippy as fuck.

>>26411410
One could argue that made their eventual meeting in thread 50 something much, much more impactful though. To think, the first time they met during cordyceps, Applejack got to really debate her and even managed to get one over on her. Then of course there was the riding the giant dinosaur bug, that was pretty cool too.

Anon who did the survey last thread here with the results
>Most popular storywise
Got a Question stories with 7% of the vote (20/307) with shipping in last with only 1 vote
>Favorite Arc
Liking all of them won with 48% of the vote (11/23)
>Favorite thing outside of story
Discussion 23% (21/91), Arguments was of course last with 5% (5/91)
>Favorite Character
AJ, Shiny, and Chrysalis tied with 10% of the vote (24/242) and all non-equines were last with 1 vote.
>As for who we have with us
43 of the 59 people who participated have been with us since before Partyland, with 17 being in the original thread.

Thank you again for participating.

>>26411509
That was also at the point where AJ was still not aloud to let anyone get the better of her. We even had her no sell her infection for 90% of the arc. You could have had Faust come down to start shit and AJ would have told her off, been 100% in the right to do it, and win the argument back then.

>>26411554
Should note that Celly was only one off from tying with the other three for most popular character, and that unless the multiple choice was smaller than normal, the survey they answered the most was the when you joined question.

>>26411554
... there was a survey? Huh, I completely missed that somehow. That's what I get for skimming.

>>26411253
Thanks for the cover and a surprising choice in song. Didn't meet too many people who actually know that one.

>>26411773
Also You're welcome, I can't do fillers for Pinkie's show but I can handle story prompts.

>Rat
"Doc"
'Daw'
-Crew-
~???~
=???=

'And so then I rammed the big bitch with a centipede train! Granted THAT didn't work either but still, I did it!'

>Lass how you managed to top 'Crazy god made our ship fly' in five minutes, I'll never know.

"Quite a story, quite a story. And the boy?"

'Pom? Get this, he's only cap'n on the bleedin' guard! If you'd've told me the skinny little rotter that flopped onto our ship all them months ago woulda done half the things he did, I'd have spat in your face and stole your rum!'

"Truly remarkable, you certainly picked a winner as far as beaus go."

>Aye, old Evergreen'd be proud.

'Aye...he would be, huh?'

"No doubt about that. But haven't you a train to catch?"

'Yeah, that's right, gotta head back to that high-falutin' fancy town. Shame we couldn't...talk...longer...hmm...'

>Hmm?

'Got an idea. You lot took over Barkbados, aye?'

"Indeed."

>Renamed it Neighssau by the by.

'I like it. But you'd say that's a nation, aye?'

"An island nation but a nation nonetheless."

>A Free Port if we're bein' precise.

'...I got an idea, keep an eye on your mail.'

>Can do.

'Later lads, behave yourselves!'

"Always."

Whoosh

>Well that was fun.

"Shame we couldn't talk to the lad but work comes first I suppose."

>Indeed, helmsmare! Set a course for-

-Cap'n! We've stowaways belowdecks!-

>Stowaways!? How in the blue hell did that happen, we've been airborne for weeks!

-I dunno cap'n but they're...odd.-

~Hallo flying ship ponies!~

=We ended up in here when your boat smashed our tower.=

~Do you wish to trade?~

>...bollocks.

"Fascinating!"

~Yes, Rekulk's deals are splendorous, even if his inventory is far away!~

Goodnight, thread.

>>26411588
>We even had her no sell her infection for 90% of the arc.

Lad?

I zapped her with the stuff BECAUSE I tried to make her suffer.

Y'know, have to face whateverthefuckus at it's door and struggle on.

"Muh waifu no hurto" would be that AJ doesn't even get touched by the stuff

But god DAMN did we fucking drop the ball by just locking her into the office for that arc

>>26411554
>Got a Question
>most popular
Quite naturally.

>>26412742
>dat spoiler
In a way yes, in a way no. Could we have done more? Yeah, sure, but her struggling not to lose it against waves of suffering and a mental breakdown was an excellent way to go by itself. Felt very AJ to me.

>>26412742
Well I could not agree more with that spoiler, as I actually felt you zapping her was the dumbest fucking move you could have possibly made. It had no rhyme or reason, it had no substance to it, and it took her out of the biggest arc at the very start. Before Canterlot was attacked, before anybody was anything, AJ was just out of the ark again. And this time, it looks like she was personally saddled. She couldn't help with the preparations, she couldn't even interact with anyway because it hadn't hit the city yet, it was an all around bad mood.

And then, apparently somebody else wrote that whole battle with her parents, and her finding her resolution, and her mistake with the changelings, and her deal, and finally her badass final run. I actually have major props to whoever turned what had been an impossible situation that should have sidelined AJ permanently and turned it into one of her best moments.

Zapping her for the sake of suffering was dumb, but we figured out a way around that.

>>26412698
Good, morning.

>>26412971
Most of the questions were not very surprising.

>>26412988
>It had no rhyme or reason, it had no substance to it,

fugg

>>26413735
Right? Pretty obvious.

>>26412988
Unfortunately, infecting her that early only gave us two options. Lock her up, or make her one of the enemies

I'm really, really glad we did not decide to make her an enemy like we thought about with thread 50

>>26414591
Well in hindsight ANY alternative looks stupid because what we actually did was HAVE HER RIDE A DINOSAUR!

Only way you could top that if the dinosaur was riding a rocketship like a surfboard!

>>26412988
I think you meant 'disagree' there, or 'could not agree', but I get what you meant.

I also agree that infecting her that early just plain wasn't a good idea, as it really limited what she was able to do and who she was able to interact with. She couldn't talk with the others about strategies, she couldn't try to help hold the shield back, she couldn't do anything but either hide, or succumb to the infection.

And if she had succumb, that literally would have meant she was sidelined/an obstacle to be overcome yet again. So, we had to just lock her up, but not lock her up where anybody could see, which really limited what she was able to do.

That said, it worked out, her scene with her parents was top tier, and it made it all the more impactful when she finally joined the fray, but I really wish we hadn't infected her before the city was even invaded. It really cut down on what she could do before she busted out and went full badass. She struggled, she almost gave in, and when she got out she made mistakes(changelings) and ultimately did more, but it was just a biiit too early for my taste.

>Chrysalis
"???"
~~~~~

>...Huh.

Scouting ahead to the Empire had been both the best, and worst choice she had ever made.

"Uugghhh.... my... my head..."

On the one hoof, she got to see what looked to be several dozen Crystal Empire citizens all sprawled about, looking like a hurricane had come through. A hurricane made of alcohol.

"Where... where..."

On the other hoof, she now would have to describe the indescribable, when she saw the look on that crystal ponies face when he woke up, and realized what had happened.

"OH SHIT! WE PARTIED THE WHOLE TIME!... And the prince and princess is going to be back any second! QUICK! EVERYONE START FIXING EVERYTHING!"

Watching them scramble... was magical.

>This is the greatest thing ever.

"DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW TO REMOVE SPRAYPAINT AND VOMIT!?"

>Celestia
"???"

>Well, I certainly hope everything turns out alright with Dash, but I...needtohidebeforeLunafindsme!

Whoosh!

Slam!

>Yes, random building, she'll never find me in here.

"Who?"

>GAH! YOU AGAIN!?

"Me again! Hi, I'm Lavan. Are you here for the cake?"

>...yes.

"Okay, you'll have to wait of course, she wants her brothers to have some first. She thinks they will be very excited for it."

>...whose house am I in?

"This is a house? I thought it was called an Embassy."

The sun Princess blinked, craning her head to look past the blazing inferno that she was speaking to.

There in the kitchen, a look of savage triumph on her face, was a changeling...

...a changeling shoving many many pills into a slice of cake.

>Y'know I think I'll try my luck elsewhere, LATER!

Whoosh!

Slam!

"Okay, goodbye! ...such a nice girl, nothing like her jerk parents."

inspired by >>26413747
NC
>Spike
"Shiny"
'Twi'
~~~
We join our heroes looking hung over like all hell.

'Sooo... What did the two most important men in my life do on their 'brotherhooves social night'?'

>"Uhhhhh..."

FLASHBACK!

(see link, only add in booze bottles for each)

"NOW HERE WERE ARE! BORN TO BE KINGS WE'RE THE PRINCES OF THE UNIVERSE!"

>SKEEEEEEE KROOOON- *Cough!* Ugh I mean... RAWR!

"There! The tax office! Stomp it!"

>Smashy smashy, bitches!

Flashback end


>Uhhh... You know...

"Guy stuff."

'ahhh, secret, huh? Well, I'm sure we'll find out about what mischief you got up to when the Hive Gazette comes'

Spike and Shiny blanch while twilight sweeps out

OOCO
>Spike
"SA"
'Poindexter'
[Chrysalis]
{18}
~Celestia~
~~~~

>Oh, how I've missed this.

"I didn't. I didn't miss this at all."

'I actually kinda did...'

"And now I missed this."

[Ugh, these fucking updates.]

{There are new updates?}

[Get this, we're supposed to act out whatever we do in real life for 'immersion'-OW!]

~Bad bughorse.~

[It's seriously in the book!]

{I don't believe you. Nobody believes you. Nobody will ever believe you.}

[Just read it!]

~Chrysalis, just drop it.~

[READ THE DAMN BOOK!]

>Let's just let Chrysalis lie for a bit more on her own, we've got stuff to do.

[Fuck you!]

>Because you all find yourself in a dark, dim dungeon, and-

{I cast advanced seduction on Shiny!}

"OH COME ON!"

'Yeeep. Saw that coming.'

~Can I jump in the way? It's three spaces, but I feel like my character should be able to.~

>Rules are rules, two at a time. 18? What have you got?

{....Sixteen! Yay!}

>Looks like Shiny is getting himself some enchantress loving.

"Oh faust damn it."

[...I CAST ADVANCED SEDUCTION!]

>Can't, 18 already landed on Shiny and it stuck, you'll have to wait for her turn to end before you can try to override-

[Who said I was aiming for Shiny?]

{...No.}

'You had my curiosity, now you have my attention.'

[Now, what were to happen if, say, someone who Shiny has a love spell attached to fell hopelessly in love with me?]

{Nooooo.}

>It's a valid move, she'd get both Shiny's enchantment... and you.

{NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO-}

[Rolling!]

{Don't you dare-}

[Eighteen.]

{...}

[...that's the number, not the... not the you.]

{NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!}

[Oh yes! Come to momma, both of you! Serve your Queen!]

'Annnd now I get to watch Shiny have a hot threesome with two other mares in front of me... yep.'

"Ah haah... ahah... thirteen year old me just started going crazy, rest of me is sad."

1/2

>>26415273

{PUT MY PIECE DOWN!}

[Oh come now, I know how to work this! Just have to angle you like... and then him liiiike... hrm.]

{How are you that bad at this!?}

[First time coordinating a threesome, hold up. Maybe... this right here?]

{That's my damn elbow! Why would you think that would excite me!?}

[I'm actually more worried about me right here.]

{Figures!}

"Oh for the love of... give me that!"

[I can handle this!]

"You clearly can't, just let me take the reigns here!"

[Fine, let's see what you can-oh, I see what you're doing!]

{Yeah, that makes sense. Oooooh, pretty kinky, actually.}

[Can you bend me back to-yeaaahh.]

{This is amazing!}

[I love this now!]

~My oh my, Shining Armor! Is there something you want to tell all of us?~

'Be warned, I'm about to put a gun to my head if you tell me what I think you're gonna tell me.'

"I dream about myself and four or five clones of my wife doing sexy things every night. Every. Single. Night."

'[{~...~]}'

"You asked."

[I uh... I think we can end our turn now.]

{Yeeep.}

'...If we're admitting about dreams, can I say I-'

"[{~DEAR FAUST NO!~]}"

'Figured.'

>This is what I live for.

>>26415273
>that's the number, not the... not the you.]
I will never get tired of that gag.

>>26415315
I will never tire of OnO.

>>26415209
>Spike is not drunk during any of this
>He just hates tax offices

>>26412081
...Uhhh, does that mean Fancy just accidentally deported two foreign ambassadors to unknown and potentially hostile lands?

...Well, he's fucking arrested forever.

>>26415599
To be fair, they could only arrest Lavan or the guys who abducted him.

LAST THREAD RECAP, WE'RE BACK BABY EDITION!
>Snake eyes almost wrangles his way out of being caught. Almost. Then he slips up.
>Hey, it's his first time, he's new to this.
>The guards worry that the princess ran off.
>Fancy wonders if Appleoosa is nice this time of year.
>It actually is, as the Sheriff proves when he laughs off someone asking if they investigated the changeling over there.
>Pennydrop is happy it's all back.
>Filthy Rich finishes his investigation, and pays off a guard to keep quiet about what he did.
>JJ juggles in the shower... it's weird.
>10 continues her infiltration of Stalliongrad.
>88 plots to get nieces and nephews, because she is still a little crazy.
>Cadence is happy she managed to fight temptation, even if she lost spending time with everyone. Still, she's happy. So happy, that she requests that Shining and her go on their 'own' train.
>This is now Shinings favorite vacation.
>Pinkie misses her shack
>Arana isn't allowed to stay in AJ's office until she gets an okay, so she has to sleep with Blueblood... not like how it sounds.
>Q secured evidence. That evidence? A shitload of bits.
>After many chases, Chitania finally has Octavia cornered, and it looks like she's going to start smashing. Except then out of nowhere, 13 chimes in! And starts yelling her head off at her mother for being so quick to anger.
>A tense scene unfolds where 13 demands she stop, and Chitania tells her to never talk to her like that again, before leaving both on sour terms, and saying they will talk later.
>Sweet Note asks if she needs to bury a body.
>2, sadly, cannot bring Pinchy with her, for he is a giant crab, and they live in an icy tundra with no salt water anywhere.
>Tearful goodbyes are had, for both of them.
1/3justthreethisgoroundnotbad.

>>26415821
>29 finally crashes his boat and arrives where he had been seemingly mindlessly charging, and it turns out he was heading towards a seemingly barren shack that had a hidden passage to it. He disguises himself as a pony and tells the other three to stay up top.
>They don't.
>After fighting his way through far too many guards, 29 eventually finds what he is looking for, which as it turns out is a bunch of kidnapped children!
>Reluctantly, they follow him, but unfortunately are still children and thus annoying.
>He also gets lost, because ghost kids are silly.
>Finally, he seems to reach the end... only to be stopped by, of all things, a camel. Yes, a camel. They can talk, you racist.
>Said camel sicks his guards on him, but they are defeated in a flash of light!
>Yes, they have been saved by the GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE! And now the final battle can begin!
>Pennydrop is informed by her scientist that it's not possible to do a changeling infusion. Instead, they're beginning work on the 'synthesis project'.
>Luna finally found Celestia!... Just when the trip is over.
>Rarity wants to talk to Cadence, but seeing the look she's giving Shiny, she thinks the better of it.
>The CMC and Vekir get lost in a forest, and encounter a strange pony in a nice suit... so of course Sweetie Belle immediately rushes off to go see them.
>The CE crew, Celestia and Twi talk about why Shiny and Cadence got a train all to themselves.
>They all hop on to Centitrain to head out! Only, there is a clash of who gets to drive, and battles are had.
>Long story short, Rarity is conked on the head and talking funny.
>Also, biting Applejack's ass, because she wants apples.
>This also sets off a chain reaction that ends with everyone except Twilight and Spike biting said ass. Yes, everyone includes Centitrain.
>Celestia is with the CE crew instead of Centitrain. Why? Because she wants to race said Centitrain, obviously.
2/3threee!

>>26415834
>Despite the race, both parties stop at a fast food chain called Haydee's Burgers... that serves everything except burgers. Everything.
>Taking Two to a fast food place was a mistake.
>The Ponyville residents hear the Mayor is coming back, and must shut down all the illegal shit they've been doing, which is a lot.
>Also, demons decide to put off taking over the world when they hear Cheerilee shall return.
>Celestia laughs when CE train pulls ahead of Centitrain, and it looks like victory is assured!...Then Centitrain turns, but they don't.
>Because Centitrain is going to Canterlot.
>They are not.
>This JUST hits Celestia.
>She makes a dive for it before she remembers she can fly, and eventually catches up. Only when she lands does she remember she forgot something.
>That something is Luna.
>...this is not Celly's day.
>But, eventually they made it home! Back to Canterlot!
>There is only one person waiting for them when they do. Fancy Pants is waiting on the edge of the train station.
>They expect all charges to be dropped and the investigation to be over... right?
>"Miss Rainbow Dash? I have some... questions."
>Shit.

As always, if I missed something, it was because something flew in front of my face and I saw something Shiny, so put away your pretty things and tell me about it.

>>26415846
>and I saw something Shiny,

I knew recap anon frequented the homohorse thread.

>>26415734
>Imprisonment, this does not please me... finding something that does not please me, this pleases me. I am conflicted.

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Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Cadence"
'DT'
[Luna]
{Dragons}
~~~~
>Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your hosts the Pink Pony Club! It's during this time that content does matter, but my writer is feeling a little better!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imamcajBEJs
[The dream is collapsing.]
In the background, mulitiple dragons rush through the streets and fill the skies. They burn and smash everything in their way. Buildings collapse. Shadows, nightguards and Dream Eaters alike flee. Tall skyscrapers that were previously normal, morph and crumple into giant dragons. Houses become jagged teeth. The ground shakes and cracks as random giant gems jut out from below. A 3 story tall dragon from the sky lands on the ground creating a crater in front of Luna and the Pinks. It roars fiercely at them, before launching a fireball from it's mouth.

[LUNAR SLASH!]
Luna slices the the fireball in half with a sword and it explodes either side of her.
[LUNAR CROSS SLASH!]
She slashes vertically and horizontally in a cross on the dragon's chest. It glows brightly before the dragon explodes in pillar of light.

[...would you stop playing that?]

DT turns off the music and puts TBDRLIATU away.
'Sorry, Pinkie told me to put in background music.'

A group of Smaller baby dragons run up to them and wave hi.
"Oh, these ones look like a skinnier version of Spike."
They jump and start biting the Pinks.
>"'Ow ow ow ow ow!'"

>Stop, drop, roll! STOP, DROP, ROLL!

[LUNAR MARBLES!]
A number of moonlike marbles float up and fire into the baby dragons at bullet speed, dispatching them all at once.
[Obviously, we're being perceived as invaders.]
Luna opens a door.
[Leave. I'm going to stay here and make sure the giant Dream Eater is put down.]
The biggest dragon bites the head off of the giant Dream Eater.
[...Never mind.]
She shoves them all through the door and shuts it behind her.
Somewhere in a cave, an elder dragon wakes up.

{...Ugh why is it so hard for a drigga to get some sleep these days?}

>>26416154
>internal conflict, this pleases me

>>26416298
You're back! Yes!

>>26416298
Missed this.

Good to have you back.

>>26416298
I just find it funny LNPP returns in the middle of the day.

>>26416474
Pinkie Pie whenever just doesn't have that same ring to it.

>>26416305
>Or... Does it displease me? Am I pleased that I am internally conflicted, or is that cause for a concern?... Confusion, this confuses me.

More stupid stuff based on the upcoming toyline:
http://www.usatoday.com/story/life/tv/2016/02/10/my-little-pony-guardians-of-harmony-exclusive/80103638/

NC
>Chrysalis
"Twilight"
~~~
>OOGACHAKAOOGACHAKAOOGAOOGAOOGACHAKA!

"I kind of miss when you used to just say 'boom, baby'."

>I'm trying something different, but anyway thought, we need to talk about the new, anti-changeling weapons you've been developing!

"'Anti-changeling'?"

>YOU'RE WEARING THEM RIGHT NOW! The weird... Uhh... What the fuck are those anyhow?

"Oh, these? It's my new CAPTURE CLAW TWILIGHT SPARKLE(tm) power armor. It's meant to keep people from getting too close to me in a fight by stopping them-"

>when they're basically in makeout range with you... Nevermind, even if that was a weapon it's... pretty pathetic.

"Well what about those wheely boot things on your forelegs."

>... Ummm... I'm going to go roller derby with sunbutt?

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>>26416347
>>26416393
>>26416474
Glad to be back...aaaand back to sleep I go.

NC
>Celestia
"Dash"
~~~

>Dash! Horrible news!

"ACK! WHAT!?'

>Batwinged chickens have been spotted just outside of Ponyville, get going to take them down!

"...batwinged what now?"

>Batwinged chickens!

"If this is another Scootaloo joke, I'm so fucking done."

>No! Chickens! With bat wings!

"...Cockatrices-"

>SHHHH!

"..."

>...Pennydrop bought the trademark for the name, so if we say it we owe her fifty bits.

"How did moronic legislation like that get passed!?"

>Powerful lobbying, Dash.

"...Where did you get that cake?"

>...*munch*... powerful lobbying...

>>26415280
I was kind of curious as to what PD's thing was...

>>26416925
I feel like we're going to get wwwaayyyyy too much mileage out of this toyline.

>Dash
"Twilight"
~~~

"Now, Dash, I know you're a little off, but don't worry! I'm sure this will all get cleared... up..."

>...

"...What are you writing?'

>Nothing.

"You're writing something."

>...diary?

"Dash, just promise me that's not a note to a changeling, any changeling, to do mind stuff."

>....

"..."

>....It isn't ANY changeling-

"Dash no."

>Pennydrop
"Agent"
~~~

>AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHA!

"M-miss? You um... you've been doing that for... a while."

>AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

"Does this mean I did well? Infiltrating was hard."

>AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHH!

"Do I... do I get props?"

>AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

"...Do I get a raiiiiise?"

>AHHAHAHAHAHAHA-no.

"Awww."

>>26417138
When god giveth wine, thou does not say "Sorry, I'm sober."

>>26411050
K

>>26417471
>Asking for a raise from PD

It's like you WANT to be fed to sharks.

>>26417919
She's not that bad.

Piranhas, maybe, but she's not buying fucking sharks, what, do you think she's made of money?

>>26418187
Based on her name, about 5 percent of her is a picture of money.

>>26418237
...it's so weird that her name is based off a currency that doesn't exist in that world, I'm just realizing.

Like someone being named Fancy Pants in a world populated by ponies who don't wear pants.

>Jetset
"Harshwhinny"
~~

"Are you seriously going to just stand there until she gets back?"

If the serious look on the stallions face were any indication, that was very much a yes.

"It's horribly unprofessional to sit near her desk like that."

>I must ensure it's safety and that no other except for the qualified inspector examines it.

"They've already rifled through it, you know, you're a touch late."

>My Queen okayed that inspection, that is good enough for them... but no others.

"I suppose you're going to be difficult about this."

>That I am.

Stern, unblinking eyes remained dead straight as his head turned, until he eventually locked that unmoving gaze with the desk.

>Nothing, absolutely nothing, is going to get inside this desk-WAH!

"Annnd, down he goes."

Down he went indeed, until only his foreleg stuck out from the desk.

>DAMN IT!

"Need any help?"

>No! I can handle this on my own! My Queen is counting on me!

That foreleg shook, it wobbled, it tried to grasp, and then it stopped.

>...But if I could at least get a promise of some silence, that would be appreciated.

"No."

>And you wonder why you're still single-NO NO NO!

She didn't care how angry the princess was going to be.

It felt good to tip that desk over.

>OW!

"So unprofessional."

>>26418187
>do you think she's made of money?
Wait till she replaces most of her bones with gold.

Then we'll see who's laughing.

>>26418845
>Not titanium
>With lasers
>And infusions
>And also anti-magic waves

STEP UP YOUR GAME

>>26416679
>...Say it.

"No."

>Say iiiit?

"Noooo."

>...please?

"..."

>...*wibble*

"...Fine.... GO SPEED RACEBUG, GO SPEED RACEBUG, GO SPEED RACEBUG GOOOOOO!"

>AHAHAHAHAHHA!

>>26419389
>Chrysalis zooming around on those little things

HNNGGG

>13
"Changeling"
~~

>WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS PLACE ISN'T CLEAN YET!?

"So... so you were really put in charge? I just want to double check this before we continue-"

>WELL!?

"Ahhh, no. It's um... it's not clean. That would be accurate."

>The Queen is coming home TODAY!

"I thought Chitania was already here-"

>OUR QUEEN YOU IDIOT!

"The namecalling is not called for... and hurtful."

>We were supposed to have this place spotless an hour ago!

"Why an hour? That just... that's pretty arbitrary, isn't it? Just random time seemingly placed nowhere for-"

>Get to work! Hurry! If we rush we can beat her here!

"You do realize we're cleaning this for... for our Queen, right? Like we're showing her we're clean, when I mean, we're not, and she knows this, this is all kinda dumb-"

>Go clean the damn place!

"...I will go clean the place."

>Top to bottom, make it sparkle!

"Make it sparkle."

>GO!

"Going."

>...

"..."

>...

"...So did you mean now or-"

>GOOOOOOOO!

"Going, going!"

>...I almost ruled a hive of these morons...

*Shudder.*

>>26417919
You mean giant, mutant, one-eyed syper sharks, and that's not a typo.

She don't do shit halfway.

>>26420118
NC
>Pennydrop
"Scientist"
~~

>...

"W-well? The sharks have the lightning rods, the fireball launchers in their mouths, the wings, the jumpjets so they can fly in addition to the wings, the turbo booster to the fin, the sawblades that pop out of the side, the walking legs with sprinting capabilities, the chainsaw laser teeth, and even the motherfucking fuzzy dice! ARE YOU SATISFIED!?"

>...Where is his cup holder?

"..."

>Heh, the look on your- wait, why are you walking towards the tank-OH SWEET FAUST NO I WAS KIDDING DON'T JUMP IN- shit... how am I going to explain this to my insurance guy!?

>>26420506
'Another one tossed to the sharks for displeasing you, I take it?'

>No! They jumped in on their own, I swear! It wasn't me!

'Suuuure.'

>Damn it, why does nobody ever believe-Oh riiiiight.

>>26420659
...So does that guy want to get eaten by sharks, then?

>>26411614
Don't feel bad, I missed it too. I mostly skip the nightstuff unless I see some names at the top.

>>26419871
Wait till it turns out that even when they aren't Queens they give birth to entire hives.

>>26417318
Don't worry, AJ understands.

She wanted to use mind control too.

>>26419389
>Chrysalis
"2"
~~~
>Anyone seen my roller derby ska- 2, what are you doing with those?

"Imma racin' luvbug! Like Herbie! Beep Beep!"

>>26421189
NC
'Sunset'
~~~

'HOW!? HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT REFERENCE!? HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT!? HOOOOOWWWWW!?'

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>>26421255
-Twilight-
~~~
-When I realized Equestria didn't have movies like Pacific Rim and shows like MASH, I knew this travesty had to be corrected.-

>>26421189
A CUTE

C
U
T
E

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>>26421277
>Giving DT access to Pacific Rim

YOU FOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLL

>>26421458
>TBDRLITU is is now a jaeger
>With more rockets
>Like, half it's mass is rockets of various sizes and payloads
>to her chagrin, spike's the only one drift compatible with her to pilot it.

>>26421593
>Why even make it have the drift thingee?

"BECAUSE THE MOVIE SAID SO, OKAY!?"

>I'm just saying, this seems kinda dumb-

"YOU'RE DUMB! I didn't even want you here! I wanted sexy!"

>Have you tried drifting with the rocket launcher?

"..."

>I wasn't serious-

~~~

>Son of a-

"Sexy gets me!"

>>26421641
You fools! The obviously cool looking ones both got punked hard! You need to make it look slightly more generic and pull out the cool shit later!

>>26421641
'Chitania'
~~~

'....Yes.'

"BRING IT OOOONNNNN!"

>Someday, Spike... someday... and then Shiny will ride you.

"NNNN-wait, why do you want to be Shining's chariot?"

>Hm? What are you talking about?

"..."

'HA!'

>Oh, she does that too. Wonderful.

>>26415280
Just be thankful Twi wasn't in the room.

>>26421719
Er, DT? Fair warning, that didn't in so well for the last giant robot she faced.

>>26421961
This time.

Good night, thread.

Morning, thread.

>>26423579
Mornijg!

>>26422069
Bah, she made another one.

Not like this is the first time Chitty wrecked DT's shit.

>>26424512
That reminds me, she still needs some vengeance there...

>>26424887
>DT Vs Chitty
Wow. That's funny to think about even with our comedy standards, heh. Maybe a verbal one, okay, yeah.

>>26424950
... Did you forget they already fought?

>>26425186
Probably yeah. Who won?

>>26425210
Chitty. Obviously.

Fillydelphia rumble, thread 42.

>>26425272
Okay, so revenge for DT still hilarious to think about.

~~~~

When the tried finally pulled into the station, they were greeted with about what they expected.

There were banners, there were bits of confetti, there were all sorts of written words to say just how happy they all were that their prince and princesses were home. Of course, there were smiles.

The most forced, unnerving, nervous looking smiles they had ever seen on anyone, bar none. Pinkie Pie trying to hold in a secret had absolutely nothing on the crystal ponies all lined up and stiffly waving, almost robotically, to those that disembarked.

"Take it you didn't find anything?'

There were stutterings, scoffings, forced laughs and oh so many shrugs and waves of dismissal. Resonating far and wide with a-

"Find anything? Whaaaa? Maybe found how awesome this local brand of wine is!"

"Such a kidder, trying to talk about us when it's them who probably got up to something naughty!'

"Oh, I'll bet! We should totally talk to them about it!"

"Everything was fiiiiiine."

This populace was known for many, many, many things, but if there was one thing the group of sparkling ponies who lived in a giant land built entirely out of crystal with a massive beam in the middle that shined light everywhere were not, it was subtle.

"...Well, welcome back!"

"Yep!"

"But oh, look at the time, we have that thing in the oven."

"ALL OF US!"

"Yes! It's a group thing, sorry you missed it but hahahah you know there was that whole vacation thing well hate to cut and run but we gotta go!"

The speed at which they left was nothing less than magical.

"...So how long till they notice Shining and Cadence weren't here?"

"I give them a week, minimum."

It was good to be back.

>>26424887
The list of "Needs to get some vengeance" with Chitty is somehow even bigger than Chrysalis's was.

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Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Cadence"
'DT'
[Luna]
~~~~
>Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your hosts the Pink Pony Club! It's during this time that content does matter, but I like being abrupt and interrrupting!

"That uh...that was that I guess."

'That's not fair! We fought hard and took down a bunch of Dream Eaters. Even saved an old couple.'

[It was a valiant effort, but some nights are just a lost. However, we believe this was an act of desperation. Their hunger is pushing them to become more and more reckless to come in at that many numbers. While we may have lost that dream city, but we are sure he'll have to fall back asleep eventually. Unless there have been dragons dying left and right, folks will have to take up residence in another dream city...hmmm, which reminds me that there have been an unusual number of dream city dragon hosts gone missing lately.]

>That doesn't sound so bad. Folks can rebuild. Do the dragons ever interact with ponies?

[They usually seem indifferent about hosting the cities, so typically no, but when they do take action, it often results in the lost of the entire dream city.]

>What happens now?

[Continue on guarding the night. There are still nightmares to protect our citizens from. Thank you for answering the call, P-Team. Until you are needed again, farewell.]
Luna opens up a door and leaves.

"...yep."

'...yip.'

>...mhmm.

"...Pinkie, we're friends right?"

>Of course!

'and you know friends would be concerned if something bad was happening to a friend right?'

>Uh duh?

"Pinkie...what black eyes you have."

>...what are you talking about?

'Pinkie...what sharp teeth you had.'

>...oh. You're talking about that.

'Are you going to tell us what's going on?'

>...fine.

Life in the Pinkie Pony Club~

>>26425672
And thus, the dramatic reveal!

>Applejack
"Twilight"
'???'
~~~

>...

"What's wrong?"

>Ah' feel like Ah' forgot something.

"Oh? What's that?"

>...................OH CRAP!

"WHAT!?"

~~~~~

'So, how long do you think it'll be until Applejack realizes she didn't even know her 'student' isn't in the Empire anymore?... That's what I thought.'

>Pommel
"32"

>Well crud. We're heading back.

"This makes me uneasy."

>I left ticket money and instructions with the station's staff, they'll be fine...hopefully.

"How trustworhy are these guards of yours?"

>They're the best ones I know.

"..."

>Er...ok, so I don't really know the names of very many others.

"You didn't learn the names of your subordinates? Isn't that lazy?"

>Y'know it's weird, whenever I think 'I should learn those names' it's like I got a big alarm in my head, as though some angry higher being is forcing me to not socialize with people I don't already know.

"...odd."

>I think I need a therapist.

~~~~~

Things were finally looking up for once for Changeling number Twenty Nine, an occurrence that had been all too rare as of late.

It was a rare feeling that he felt when he watched those five brutes hit the ground in crumpled heaps, blinded and battered by fireworks that had been launched into them at such speeds it almost caused him to feel a touch sympathy for those monsters. It was a rare, but oh so very welcome, feeling indeed.

"Thou followed! Thanks to thee for listening not a word I spoke earlier!"

"Trixie never does!"

He chose not to comment on that.

"Niney! What the heck is going on!?"

"We followed as quickly as we could, but this place is not as straightforward as it should."

"Marey! Zecora!"

He was not surprised at all that those two had followed, if anything the fact that Trixie had been first was the only real shock to be had.

"...Niney, why are you surrounded by children?"

"Hi, misses lady."

"Hello, sweetie!"

It took some doing not to grumble and be annoyed that now of all times they decided to be respectful. A lot of doing.

"I am freeing these imprisoned children from their captors! THAT ONE!"

At last, the three took notice of the camel up high. Strangely, there seemed to have been a reason after all for him to be so silent.

"...Holy shit a talking zebra!"

No one was quite sure how to comment about that.

"And WOW what a zebra! Oh, yes!"

They knew how to comment to that one, though.

"Ew."

"A zebra, a changeling and a show unicorn!? My profits have just gone through the roof!"

A scoff from the most magical of their number was the only verbalization that could be found of the utter disgust on all their faces.

"Have you not been paying attention? Your pitiful numbers fell to the might of the GREAT and POWERFUL TRIXIE! Bring whatever you have to bear, Trixie will destroy them as easily as she could any other!"

"Can I stick closer to her instead of the bug guy?"

"NO!"

1/4

>>26426200

The changeling had hoped, perhaps naively, that the camel would admit defeat, flee like some sort of serial comic villain, run away to be faced another day, a day when there weren't so many squishy, small bodies around them. A time later, when the children were safely home, that he could be brought to justice. It was a desperate hope, he admitted.

"Alright, if you insist."

It was a foolish hope, he admitted.

"Let's show them how dumb that was, 'eh boys?"

The rumble that followed could only be matched in sound by the shaking of an earthquake, a powerful noise that sounded as if any second the world would erupt like a volcano and spew fiery death upon them all.

But it was not the fires of lava that poured through as door upon door burst open, it was not liquid or gas or any such form. No, it was a nothing less than a tsunami.

An utter wave, of bodies. Living, breathing, very big looking bodies, and all of them armed in some fashion.

"...Oh dear."

They were surrounded, completely covered in no time at all. Forcing the four adults to form a circle as best they could around the now terrified, screaming children. Blocking thme as best they could, as little as it could do.

"Niney... what do we do?"

He had no answer for her.

"Mister, what do we do!?"

Nor the children tugging at his heel.

"H-hrmph! You think this meager number is enough to worry Trixie!? She fights more than this for her breakfast! Flee now, before Trixie gets really mad!"

They did not seem intimidated, sadly.

"Well now, now that we've more firmly established who is the bitch in this situation..."

The camel smiled, the monster actually smiled, and raised up his hoof. Without a word spoken, the changeling knew that the moment he swung it down, they would all attack. They would all converge.

"What... what do we do..."

There were no options left.

"Twenty Nine, my friend..."

Over the beating of his own heart, he heard Zecora's words.

"...until the very end?"

2/4

>>26426220

Her resolution spoke louder than any word ever could have.

"...Marey, Zecora, Trixie... if this is to be the end..."

He called the fire to his horn, and prepared.

"Then if I had lived a thousand lives more, I would have found no others I would rather spend it with."

Zecora crouched into a fighting stance.

"Try to coverage enough to reach the way we came, perhaps..."

Trixie gathered her greatest magic to her horn.

"...we can hold them off long enough for some to escape. It is the best we can do."

Even the Mayor, as shaking and terrified as she was, prepared to dive forth.

"On three... one..."

The Camel, the rotten thing above, only smiled, and raised his hoof higher.

"Two..."

The room, everything, tensed, and all hell prepared to break loose.

"THRE-"

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM!"

A light, like a beacon from heaven, suddenly illuminated from behind the camel. He swung, his whole body rolling on his hooves as he turned around to look at what had suddenly appeared behind him.

There they stood, five bodies, gleaming in golden shining armor, standing proud and tall.

Powerfully, one stepped forwards, and pointed right at the ring leader of it all.

"In the name of the Royal Guard of Equestria and the majesty we serve, YOU ARE UNDER ARREST!"

The thing before them looked flabbergasted, eyes wide like a frightened animal as his long neck swung back and forth, looking down below and over again to those standing in the shining, shimmering light.

"...How the fuck does that work!? How did you get into that door!? That's my private room up there! There's no... how did you do that!?"

They all shared a look, but strangely, none of them answered, save to ask another question.

"So, are you going to give up peacefully, or are we going to have to make you?"

3/4

>>26426227

Flat teeth in the slightly loose lips grit a bit, brown and dusty fur bristling in waves.

"Wait, is it just you five? Where's the rest?"

Yet, when he finally spoke, it had no anger, nor fear.

"...They're lying in wait."

If anything, what came next sounded downright happy.

"Well? Shoot the fuckers!"

They did not run.

They did not hide.

Despite not being armed, despite being wildly outnumbered, despite there being so many, so little to do back, they did not flee or beg.

"TAKE 'EM DOWN, GUARDS!"

They met the battle, as guards.

"...they're gonna die up there, aren't they?"

Regardless of how much, or little, Twenty Nine agreed with the child, he bopped him in the head out of principal.

"FOR EQUESTRIA!"

>>26426234
>The guard get to do something

OH SHIT IT'S ACTUALLY HAPPENING

>>26426234
>"FOR EQUESTRIA!"

>and then they were riddled with bullets
>Because you can't punch bullets

>>26426477
That's one way to get rid of shit tier OC's.

>>26426227
I'm just still amazed a team of Trixie, Zecora and Mayor Mare of all random fuckers became so bro-tier in this series.

They're awesome.

>>26426234
You had my curiosity before, now you have my attention.

>>26426200
>"...Holy shit a talking zebra!"

I don't know why, but that is, by far, the funniest line we have done in a looooong time.

>>26426883
>coming soon:
>/pa/: lines through the ages
>where we take you on a look back through the series funniest quotes and get an in-depth interview with the speaker

>Acty
"32"
'JJ'
~~~~

>Boss? I have no qualms with coming back already, I really don't. I understand the whole... you know, you have to bring in the wanted criminal and yadda yadda yadda, but um...

"But what?"

>...

'He's wondering if the leash is necessary.'

>Right that?

"Pfft, of course it is! This leash is vital, one hundred percent, and if you even so much as think a thought about it's removal, then you will be sternly reprimanded!"

>It's just a little weird.

"I assure you this is a part of changeling culture."

'No, it isn't.'

"Other culture."

>You know.. I'm just not going to argue.

"That'a boy! At last, you're learning! Nod and follow through when I tell you to do things, wisdom incarnate!"

'Riiiight.'

>...JJ?

'Yep.'

>Please don't let my parents see this.

'No promises.'

>Sigh... come on.

"Oh my! Don't tug too hard... well, maybe a little."

'So we're seriously not going to question the leash?'

>Hey, look on the positive side... at least he's wearing it and not me.

"Pull just a little harder."

I just realized something, it has been bugging me ever since the emprah made his appearance and I thought 'Bruva Alfabusa' was a /pa/l of ours... that trio of greased up sun worshiping fuck pones were basically a rip off of
Bruva Alfabusa's Three oiled up emprah worshiping custode fuck boys... So... was
Bruva Alfabusa responsible for the oily shenanigans?

>>26427221
[Daw]
{Pommel}
~~~

{...}

[...so is he-]

{I have no fucking idea.}

>>26427295
Sometimes I wish I knew what all that was about, and then sometimes I remember that it's funnier that I don't. There's humor in not understanding a damn thing.

>>26426477
Well, Quicksilver is a Unicorn, Haymaker and SG are earth ponies, Suckerpunch is a pegasi, and Lucky Strikes is a... uh....

The fuck is Lucky, again?

>>26426477
>>26427796
See, now I want to see 'Maker haymaker a bullet.

>>26427796
>The fuck is Lucky, again?

Pretty sure he's a unicorn.

>>26427953
I am like 100 percent certain he's a unicorn, but I know for sure he's not an earth pony.

>>26425638
AJ's list dwarfs both of them.

>18
"???"
~~~

>Back again....

She loved her Empire, she truly did, but some part of her wished she had stayed away forever. Just her and Shiny, on a romantic beach, far away from everything. Just her and Shiny alone, before-

BAM!

>Well, I mean eventually, but I was hoping for a bit of lead in-

"HELLLPPPPP!"

>...Oh riiiiight.

Wordlessly, she flung the well worn door she knew almost as intimately as her own heartbeat at this point, the sight inside not surprising her in the least.

"OH DEAR CRYSTAL LOVE WHAT IS THIS THING!?"

~GRRRAAAGHHHH!~

The poor fool, her in training assistant had made the unwise choice of trying to fight the paperwork monster all on her own.

What was she thinking?

"IT'S EATING MEEEEE-'

>NO! BAD! BACK IN THE PILES!

With rustling of paper and maybe one or two screams of the damned, the piles collapsed back into neat, easy piles.

"...Miss Eighteen."

>Nice to see you! You ready to get to work?

Without even thinking about it, she stepped aside, sure that yet again she was going to have to watch this mare run off past her, just as she had after Partyland.

"...Yep! Ready and waiting, ma'am!"

She needed a minute after that one.

"Miss Eighteen?"

Her papers rustled, as if her very presence had brought them happiness.

>No worries, baby... Mama's home...

She sat down, tried her best to ignore the signs someone had been looking through her work, and she got back to it.

>Now, let's see if we can alter some budgets to get the school some new updated textbooks, and maybe some more teachers...

>>26428125
>Spitfire
>DT
...?

>>26428497
>Celestia (more of she will never get over her in the comedy bits and if she does it will never equal out)
>Chrysalis (2 head to head victories to none)
>29 (is he thankful for his position? yes. has she stopped treating him like shit when they interact? no)
>the Changeling hive (until she makes amends)
>Shiny (this is the second time that he personally was not allowed by us to even actually confront AJ on issues he had with her. "he told her he knows" that isn't confronting)
>The wives of Canterlot (another joke because Blowjob's aren't cheating and they blame the one who signed it not drafted it)
>Pennydrop (in process, she owned the lab AJ and co crashed)
>Sunset (just based on the continued neglect)

inb4 someone goes down this list and tears it apart.

>>26428497
Shiny gave her a pass, so that's not it. Her and Chrysalis are square, Chitty doesn't care about her....

Not sure.

>>26428687
NC
>Fancy
"Canterlot"
'Fleur'
~~~

>Alright, my investigation has concluded! And, as I'm sure you're all waiting to hear, I've made a discovery, one that will change... everything.

"..."

>...The law abou... ahem, 'oral attention' regarding it's use on married stallions.

"JUST CALL IT THE DAMN BLOWJOB BILL!"

>...Yes, Princess Applejack DID approve that law.

"GASP!"

>And yes... Princess Celestia not only approved it, but has since kept it approved.

"OH MY GOSH!"

"Told you told you told yooooou!"

"I don't care what the law says, what you did with that mare is NOT okay!"

"the princesses disagreeeeeheheeeee!"

"NOOOO!"

'Oh, my...'

>...

'...'

>...No, I would never do that.

'I didn't even need to check, darling.'

>Phew.

'...Unless it was Rainbow Dash.'

>Right, yes, unless it's Rainbow Dash, but that swings both ways.

'And hopefully she does...'

"OUTRAGE!"

>>26428927
>Rainbow Dash

...That is both somehow the last, and now the perfect choice I could have imagined for their Celebrity Exception.

>>26428687
>>29 (is he thankful for his position? yes. has she stopped treating him like shit when they interact? no)

Yeah, what's up with that? Dude does his job, raises his cousin and even helps ghost kids, give him a fucking break already.

At least he doesn't abandon his charge like you do.

>>26429247
because he's still got hints of that "stick my dick in all royalty no matter the cost" fuckery about him. and he's a prick, a polite prick, but a prick all the same.

>>26429247
He's a prissy asshole.

Look, don't care if you're a saint or not, if you act like an asshole and think you're better than everyone and constantly talk in a way that implies you're talking down on someone, you get treated like an asshole.

There are non-asshole changelings who do just as much as he does.

>>26429401
Having fruit on your ass and a hat on your head doesn't give you the all access pass to be a bitch and never get properly struck back by those you talk down to.

>>26429517
I could definitely see Zecora or MM calling AJ out, yeah.

Or at the very least, 56 renounces Applebooty, which somehow is a bigger insult than anything they could say.

>>26429531
We have seen this song and dance before
>Zecora is AJ's friend and won't say shit
>MM even if she might not be afraid of Spike blowing her head off anymore still is not going to back talk a superior
>Ass vs Family in 56's life, rarely goes well for the latter.

>>26429531
>>26429595
Trixie would be the one to speak up, which would give AJ the softball needed to shut everyone up before it starts.

>>26429401
Huh, maybe that's why he and 32 get along so well. Assholes have to stick toge-wait no ew.

>Rat
"Doc"
'Rekulk'
-Sebjek-
~Crew~

>Right, this will work!

"This is never going to work."

'I am thinking this will work!'

-I disagree.-

>"SEE, THE CAVEPONY AGREES WITH-...SHUT UP!"

'Firing us out of cannon as the train passes is a great idea, strange water ponies, wherefor do you get the idea?'

>Saw it at a circus once.

"International incident, we are going to cause an international incident."

>Nonsense, the pony who did it at the circus survived! Mostly!

-I have reservations.-

'AHA! QUICK FIRE US NOW! SEBJEK MUST EAT AT THE FANCY RESTAURANT!'

-Reservations also means-.-

'Pah with your double meaning words! Onward to the train!'

>You're the one with seniority here, right?

'Yes!'

>Good enough for me! Wait for the train to pass through that tunnel aaaaand...

Choo choo!

>FIRE!

BOOM!

'WHEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaa...!'

>Looking glass, helmsmare! Hmmm...aha! They made it! Excellent.

"Now here's hoping we aimed at the right train."

>Oh pish posh, how many trains are travelling along the coast to or from Puerto Burro? HELMSMARE, ONWARD TO NEIGHSSAU! WE'RE COMING HOME!

>???
"???"
~~~~

>...Are they gone?

Two figures, dark as the night they were currently surrounded by, crept up along the side of the train tracks, up to now completely barren platform that connected the Empire to the world.

"Looks like it's clear."

>Neat. So, now we just have to creep pass the rest of town, stay under the radar for as long as we can, and then sneak into the west side of the castle and we're in the clear!

"...This was a bad idea-"

>NO!

"Shhhh!"

>No! I'm insisting here! That was a great idea! That was a spectacular idea! That was an idea that we should be doing a lot!

"..."

>...Admittedly, there were some holes in the plan... heh.

"..."

>Sorry, thirteen year old me. Point is, sure, there was a... flaw. Little flaw. Tiny, iiiitty bitty flaw.

"You think?"

>Sigh... let's just get back to the castle, already.... and tell Eighteen to find the budget to start putting showers in the trains.

"..."

>Totally worth it!

>>26429401
Funny and true. Hence, Chrysalis.

>>26429531
She gave 56 a boarding in her room for the longest, and would probably root for him to join the guard. I don't see that happening in canon.

Although it would be funny to get 26, 56 and AJ in the same room and see conversation, watch 29 attempt not to act like a prissy prick and watch AJ try not to insult him or something while 56 just stares between the two, all smiles and whatnot like 'booty and family rock'.

>>26429949
You overestimate AJ. She doesn't care about 29, so she won't pull punches. The only one she held back around was 2 and that was out of respect for the other pony royals, not because she is afraid to rip into someone with a child around. It will be 29 trying to hold it together while AJ acts as she normally does. Probably with a "what? no Princess Styrofoam?" thrown in.

>>26430085
I can see that, but you don't really let a changeling sleep with you and bathe with you and continue to love on your rear where others might/have reacted negatively without some molecule of care towards their feelings so knowing how 56 feels about 29, I can only guess she'd make an honest effort at it. And even if she wasn't aware of what 29 meant she's smart enough to read the atmosphere and act accordingly, for as long as patience allowed anyway.

>>26430166
I've seen conversations with 56 around. If he is attached to her ass he is dead to the world. It would take 29 actually saying something about his being treated poorly for 56 to even put 2 and 2 together. And remember, ass beats family in 56's world. (because we made molesting mares his food source he will subconsciously side against 29 if push came to shove)

>>26430166
29 has tried to "act respectful" to AJ before, she just brow beat him until he broke or sicced Ara on him because she knows he is deathly afraid of her..

>>26430240
>because she knows he is deathly afraid of her..

At least that part doesn't work anymore, him and Arana got on okay terms forever ago.

>>26430225
>because we made molesting mares his food source
>50 years from now when 56 is entering his teens hell have touched every ass in the world
>cept cellys
>because fuck face melting

>>26430298
dude, he's stuck his face right in celestia's crack before, he's pretty much the only person to have done so and survived, the only ass he WON'T get is Chitania's

>Octavia
"Vinyl"
~~

"Wow, you're not beaten to a pulp... neat!"

>Such a wonderful thing to be greeted to, thank you oh so much.

"Nahhh, I knew you'd be fine."

>Hm! As if! I was nearly smashed by that... awful brute! I was terrified!

"Heh, yeah, scary bitch ain't she? Like, wow, just wow. Could punch a castle in half."

>At least! What an awful, awful creature!

"So, how'd you get out of this one? Groveling? Begging? Had to go down low and-"

>UGH! You disgusting thing!

"Juuust saying, survival tactic."

>I'll have you know that things far more approachable daughter called off that beast!

"Oooooh, bringing the kid into it? Smooooth, Octy."

>As if I needed chiding from you! Now, where are the guard?

"Like... everywhere. These guys are way better than ours, I'm noticing, total rip off."

>Well, let's hope they're up to the level of bringing that.. disgusting thing in!

"...for what?"

>For what!? FOR WHAT!? Are you actually blind behind those glasses!?

"Just asking, for what? She chased you, right, but didn't hit you?"

>Chasing me and implying she is going to do bodily harm is still illegal!

"So's smashing a musical instrument into someone's head because you lost."

>...

"..."

>...

"...Just saying."

>That is completely different!

"Did you even end up saying sorry?"

>Why should I!? She chased me!

"Because cello to the head."

>HRMPH! She's strong enough not to be bothered, I'm sure!

"...Octtyyy-"

>Be quiet, and join me! We are going back home, immediately!

"Seriously not going to apologize? She even played with you for like... hours."

>Now, I said!

"...Huh, think you know a girl..."

>>26430676
DAMN Octy, you a bitch.

>>26430468
Thank Faust for the Chitania action figure with rubber foam memory plot!

>>26430676
Sheesh, what a bitch.

Ponies are generally awful.

Barely a nice one in the bunch.

And pretty a sizeable fraction of the nice ones we made up.

>>26431027
>"Ah can fix it"

>>26430947
I know right?

It's not Chitty's fault you're garbage at the Cello and should shave that mark off, Octavia.

Go back home and binge eat some ice cream to get fat as Rarity used to be, you worthless bitch.

>>26431075
That isn't it. Both times they faced off wasn't because Octy was outplayed.
>first was Chitty took the cello off her and started playing randomly and it shocked Octavia and it embarrassed her somehow.
>this past one was an endurance contest that she lost not due to ability but being thrown off guard by Chitty calling sweet note food.

Neither time was saying she sucks.

>>26431119
Nah, she's shitty as a person and shitty as a cello player.

>>26431119
Yeah, it even gets mentioned both times that Chitty makes mistakes and skips a tune or two, but Octavia manages to do it perfect.

>first was Chitty took the cello off her and started playing randomly and it shocked Octavia and it embarrassed her somehow.

It was because she literally grabbed it, and when Octy made dismissive comments very loudly to her Chitty proved her wrong and showed her up, and more importantly it was in public, a public who actually applauded Chitty when it was over. Saying someone is shit at something and then having to watch as they exceed all expectations and get applauding would be an embarrassment for anyone, especially when everyone just watched you call her out and claim they couldn't even hold the Cello right.

She then actually came back again for a rematch, but she only had the one Cello, so she stole her friends Violin, thinking Chitty wouldn't know the difference. She got knocked off her guard again when, in addition to calling her out for thinking them being comparable is dumb She knew that, she just didn't know Chitty knew that. she STILL could play it. As someone who actually knows how these instruments work, that IS a huge thing, as both are wildly different in how you play them and even what they're capable of playing.

Both times, again, Chitty wasn't up to Octy's level as far as actually playing the thing, the concert Cellist was clearly superior.

>>26431119
>>26431174
>Being this deluded

She's a talentless hack that needed to be brought down by the superior musician of the superior species, then lost her cool when she couldn't handle how much better than her Chitania was and resorted to violence like all ponies do.

Worst sub-species of worst race.

>>26431200
What would be the opposite of Pennydrop? 007? Chrysalis?

>>26431216
>Opposite of Pennydrop

A character with depth?

>>26431231
Meant in terms of "RACE WAR NAO"?

>>26431242
No one

Changelings are blameless and cherubic.

>>26431248
I agree, 2 is pretty innocent and cute.

>>26430947
Of course, it's because we love our ideas and our made up characters, so we will make ponies shitty in order to play off that our made up character is better. After all, the made up ones needs to be better than the show ones or else it won't be loved.

>>26431323
Either you're just talking to yourself because nobody took you up on it or you took really awful, awful bait that's obviously dumb.

Either way, come on man, you can be better than that.

>>26431261
This guy gets it.

>>26431341
Eh, point taken. I did take that bait. Thought I had the resentment in check, but looks like it bled though. Sorry folks, back to work.

>>26431323
....This fucking ended with 13 walking up to Chitty and outright telling her she's a shitty person who flies off the handle all the time and frequently says shit like she doesn't care if someone else lives or dies, after other events where she threatens everyone with bodily harm when they try to challenge her. Literally nobody in universe except Sweet Note even likes her, and she's never once actually been shown to be 100 percent in the right.

And that you did it with such shitty bait too... I'm disappointed.

>>26431529
Literally the only example I can think of is Varry, and she is only there to give her a shitty life backstory and get her head ripped off, twice.

>>26429929
Didn't think train sex all the way through, did you?

>>26431845
This is the second time he has fucked Cadence since the thread started, the details didn't matter he was striking while her iron was hot.

>>26431863
Wonder if there's a bun in the oven now

>>26431961
Bad anon, no Flurry. Plus by the time we get to the end of her pregnancy Flurry will be the secret key to save the day in the movie/series finale. Just pointing out that in our timeline we moved around 70 days in our last nine months of real time, and half of that was a timeskip.

>>26432004
Come on, anon, you would deny Two being Best Sister? Besides, she'd be the ultimate straight man, trying to grow up in the world we made and make sense of it all.

File: PA_0001.png (18 KB, 540x1067) Image search: [Google]

18 KB, 540x1067

After hundreds of hours in MS Paint, here is the latest in /pa/ comic innovation. Notice the fine quality. :^)

>>26432046
It is hit and miss on the straight men, mind you the last one we tried to bring in is now a half Changeling Zombie.

>>26432055
Heh, oh the classics. Evenin blocky form they never get old.

>>26432057
Oh come now, would we really do something that awful to a small child...don't answer that.

>>26432055
What is that, like story 3, thread 1. DEEPEST LORE.

>>26432076
Close. It's the second one. The one right after, the beat cop rant.

>>26432103
So we literally establish that Cadence and Shiny are shit at their jobs with the second paragraph of the first thread. We fix Shiny in the first 4 threads, while 123 later we are only like 60% done with Cadence. That is the long game

>>26432118
I know what to do! We need an ass beating and some waffles, stat!

>>26430947
SURE LIKE THAT B I G B L A C K OVIPOSITOR IN YOUR ASS, HUH?

>>26432118
I honestly thought we were going to keep her sucky forever. I thought that was the point.

>>26432409
Well, she's halfway there, depending on how can kinky they got.

>>26433433
...it's Cadence. The answer to that one is, not at all.

>>26433915
You never know, she is trying to better herself.

>>26433045
Nah, because, that means we wouldn't fix everything. Any really shitty trait we gave our pones will, eventually, have a storyline where it is either mitigated or removed

>>26432055
That is weirdly adorable

>42
"Spitfire"
~~~~~

>Hrm. Looks like some of our number got drunk.

"So they did."

>I do not partake that often, is there usually a particularly bad hangover after that?

"Excruciating."

>I see. Well then, loud noises would be an issue, no?

"That they would."

>...
"...."

Without another word, they both held up an airhorn....

And smiled.

>>26432055
I don't care how silly it is, I'm putting it in the wiki.

>88
"Lavan"

>Hey alright, the Princesses are back so that means my brother's back, right?

"I do not see him. Is this the hide and seek game I've heard stories of?"

>No.

"Drat, that is a shame. Huh."

>Huh?

"Well I can see the train."

>Yes?

"It's going INTO town."

>Holy shit, hasn't this place suffered enough!? Robots, giant monsters, me, now a train crash!? Oh the Equinity!

"Oh it's not crashing, it's just approaching the castle. Here it comes now."

Screeeeeeeee!

>...

"Modern trains are very stylish...and arthropodal."

>Oh fuck the magic followed us home! Run for it!

"For the train? Ok!"

Whoosh!

>No, come back, damn it! Ugh...

>LD
"Gilda"
~~~~

"You know, a really loyal friend would go and vouch for a friend when they're being investigated."

If she was hoping for anything other than the lime green pony remaining in her captains chair and smiling, she was left without.

"Just saying, would be real friendly to her right about now. Sure would show some loyalty."

If she hoped for anything besides that smile growing, and her leaning back just a bit, she was again bereft.

"Sure seems disloyal not to-"

>Why?

She was practically singing.

"You know, because this looks bad?"

>Does it? I wouldn't know, I was completely and utterly unaware that any of this was happening. As far as I knew, I was just showing them what I've personally seen, that there was no reason whatsoever for me to hide or withhold any information regarding my superior officer. I didn't know about any of this.

"You had to have thought they were going to find something."

>What makes you say that? This wasn't a performance review, after all.

"Then at least go tell them Dash never interacts with the changelings."

>I wouldn't know about her personal life.

Feathers bristled, and it took far more restraint than she thought possible not to simply smack the mare in the head.

"So, what are you going to do?"

>Me? Why, Gilda... I'm not doing a damn thing.

That restraint became almost saintly, when that smile grew and grew, and grew.

1/2

>>26435591

> I'm going to sit here, and I'm going to wait. If Dash is cleared of everything and comes back? Fantastic! She gets to know I was so confident and helpful this whole time that I gave up as much information as I could, just because I was so sure she was totally innocent. Why, she might even start letting me in on these secrets now, just to make sure something like this never happens again. Most likely, she'll be back within the day. Lets be honest, that's almost certainly what's going to happen. She'll have any suspicions wiped clean and not a single repercussion to this whole thing. She's got enough friends up high to go to bat for her and knock out anyone who would make her frown, hell, Fancy has a better chance of ending up in a ditch, forgotten for all the world, then actually pinning her down with anything, she doesn't need me. She'll come back, I'm sure.

"And if this somehow does come back on her?"

At last, the smile could grow no more.

>Well... at least we'll have Dash's Second in Command, ready and waiting to take up the reigns to ensure that the Wonderbolts remain a fit, fighting force that is capable of defending Equestria and all her citizens, maintained and excelling while Dash does whatever pitiful community service or minor suspension she has to do.

"You really think she's going to get off so easily?"

>Gilda, Gilda Gilda Gilda, you can't be that naive. It's Dash, Rainbow Dash. She's so well connected she could murder someone and she wouldn't even see the cuffs. She'll get off, no question.

"...We'll see."

Her beak clacked, gritting just a bit as she turned to leave, knowing full well there was nothing left to be said. One of them would be proven in time. One of them...

>Either way, I win.

>>26435601
Oh hi Gilda, I forgot you existed.

>>26435601
...Fuck.

LD's about to fuck up everything.

OOCO
>SA
"Cadence"
'Chrysalis'
~Celestia~
[18]
{42}
^2^
(Spitfire)
~~~

>Alright, with the increased scrutiny on us, we're going to have to double down on the politicking, which means...

"Puppies?"

>No, not puppies, it means...

'Increasing our standing in the foreign community through trade, immigration, and sharing of cultures?'

>.........I'm not questioning that. No! It actually means that we are going to have to look on our best behavior with table manners!

~Wait, is nobody going to ask why Chrysalis just-~

>First off! This is a soup spoon. You all see it? Soup spoon.

[We know what that is.]

{This isn't the first time we've done this.}

(It actually is for me?)

^Don't worry miss Spitfire! You just gotta remember it's whatever it is that gets here the fastest gets the farthest!^

(That makes total sense.)

"Shiny? I um... am not sure this is going to help with the foreign stuff. Maybe we should stick with my idea?"

>Cadence, no puppies.

"But-"

(Does anybody know why we have a serrated knife in the middle of the table?)

>It's for carving bread.

(Oh... so is this like a sword in the stone thing? Because it's in the table.)

>I... ugh. Chrysalis?

'Wasn't me.'

{There was a bee.}

'HAH! Accidental rhyming.'

>Any particular reason a bee warranted shoving a knife through a table?

{Cadence has a minor allergy to bees.}

>You do!?

"I do!?"

{Not to the level of putting you into shock, but you would have hives for days.}

[How did you know that!?]

{I keep up to date on all of your medical records.}

(...Oooookay, I'm going to uh... scooch away here.)

{That won't help you escape the lice.}

(I DO NOT!)

1/2

>>26436223

>Can we all please calm down? This is important for our image around the world!

"Shiny, I really think we should talk about the puppies."

>Fine! Fiiiine! What about the puppies!?

"It's just, as a potential massive buyer or competitor, we should know what puppy diamond dogs eat, or else we could end up choking them."

>....huh. That actually sounds pretty sane.

{Unlike what Celestia did with that cake-}

~TABLE FLIP!~

CRASH!

~EVERYTHING SHE SAYS IS A LIIIIiiiiiiieeeeeeee....~

>...
"..."
'...'
[...]
(...)
{...You want to know the scary part? I made that last one up, I can't see her medical records.}

^HAH!^

>"'([{ABSOLUTELY NOT!}])'"

^Awww.^

>>26436236
...well, I mean, I guess that is actually her job, but somehow even though this is totally normal for most bodyguards, it feels... uneasy

>>26435485
I wonder where Centitrain sleeps...

>Gwen
"???"
~~~~

>I'm starting to feel like I don't get enough attention.

It wasn't entirely true, of course, but it was so worth it to watch the pony agent before her squirm.

"Miss Pennydrop sends her sincerest apologies that she personally cannot be here to tell you this information, and hopes you understand."

She did, of course. She knew Pennydrop was quite busy, especially now, but it was so much more fun to watch what happened when she narrowed her eyes, as if in annoyance. As expected, the reaction was simply one of a kind. She never tired of seeing them look as if in any moment, she would take their heads clean from their shoulders. It was never something she would actually do, of course. The mere thought of actually harming a messenger like that was enough to fill her with an unfortunate and quite disgusting feeling, but every so often she would let her catlike side bleed though, and she would enjoy watching her prey squirm.

But never for too long, she was not that cruel.

>I suppose this once, I will understand.

There would have been no fun in this, had she not also loved the look of profound relief that always crossed their faces, and the ways they tried and failed to hide it.

>Tell Pennydrop that I appreciate the information, and will be making fine use of it.

"Of course, your majesty. Your allies in Fawntaine simply want you to be informed, do with it as you wish."

They bowed respectfully, and the instant she waved her talon, the pony was off, hurrying as if she would stop them and torment them some more. A tempting idea, but more important matters awaited.

>So, it seems Equestria also has a problem with the changelings. Hrm, very well.

She rose, already calling over a messenger to go inform her husband of what was to be done.

>It's time to see if they hold the same opinions as their tundra based relatives. If so, well... at least none can claim I'm not consistent.

>>26436905
Annnnd, now Gwen is gonna fuck shit up.

Damn it, this is not Dash's day.

>>26436564
>Luna
"???"
~~~

>...Thou knows thou could simply sleep in the-

"SCREEEEEE!"

>Alright, alright!... We do not even ride thee-

"SCREEE!"

>Fine you can sleep!

File: PA_0002.png (22 KB, 540x1050) Image search: [Google]

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I made another thing. This time there's a background sort of.

>Snake Eyes' Thoughts

>Ok, this is a disaster. No, really, mushroom apocalypse? Worse than this. At least you didn't get fucking found out in the middle of that. Ok the dumb bug found you out but that was unavoidable.

>Think, damn it, think, you can't rat Pennydrop out. Well I mean, you can, of course, but then what happens? You're in jail AND that crazy bitch wants you dead.

>Remember your briefing on this jackass, there's gotta be something, anything you can do to throw suspicion off the boss lady. Someone that would reasonably hate him enough to send you to go dick around with his brain...

>...heh...heh heh heh...

>Got it. Time for a wild goose chase~

>>26437701
It's amazing what you can convey with literally nothing but blocks.

>>26437721
...interesting.

File: Mornings.png (310 KB, 721x722) Image search: [Google]

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I need a story to go along with this. Any takers?

>>26438313
Sure

>Chrysalis

>Ugh, what a day...lemme just get my hair here...oh damn it the crown's in the way-

RRRRRRIP!

>AGHFUCKIFORGOTTHAT'SAPARTOFMEEEEEEE!!!!

>>26438366
I'm pretty sure we established that its not a part of them I could be wrong though, its been a while since then.

>>26438313
>Fuckin morninsh, hate sheedsh, alwaysh gotta look sha besh and.....

PPPPFFFFT

>Wait a minute!... I can Fwoosh! Oh dear love, SO MANY HOURS WASTED!

>>26438383
I thought we established quite the opposite.

>>26438366
Not entirely what I was looking for but I chuckled.

>>26438393
Almost exactly what I was hoping for, I just wish you would have had that moment half asleep contemplation before realizing what she did. Maybe I should make her eyes a little more sleepy looking.

>>26438383
>>26438398
The crown can come off, it has multiple times in the past. She even swapped with 42's helmet once for a gag.

There was also a later declared NC backstory to the crown that had it originally be a gryphon crown that momsie stole, but was NC because...obvious reasons.

>>26438313
Huh, can't recall ever seeing this art before.

Is this new for-/pa/ artwork, or just something found? Wanna know just in case.

>>26438313
>Chrysalis
~~~~~

She hated mornings. Mornings were, simply put, the worst. The time she most wants to laze around, to do nothing at all, were instead spent on preparation.

Perfect hair to hold her crown, perfect fangs to intimidate her foes, perfect shades on her eyes to make that menacing glare the thing of nightmares. Every sleepy brush was one more reminder that she had to be, to look, to act, the perfect thing to scare the masses.

She was the greatest Queen, and she had to look the part-

>PFFFTT!.... Wait... wait..... waaaaaaaait a motherfucking goddamned love-sucking flash frying minion roasting minute....

Fwoosh.

>...I could have done this the whole fucking time!? OH DEAR LOVE I COULD HAVE DONE THIS THE WHOLE TIME!?

"Finally figured it out?"

>FUCK YOU SHINING! FUCK! YOOOOOOUUUUU!...Literally!

"No."

>But I can look fantastic afterwards! Put it to the test!

"Noooo."

>Well, this day already sucks.

>>26438729
Just drew it a few minutes ago on a whim. I'm gonna start posting more frequently, I don't have that much more to catch up on.

~~~~~~~~

It had been such a nice vacation too.

"Shoot the fuckers!"

In the blink of an eye, every single gun of the few in the massive crowd that actually had them was suddenly pointed upwards, directly at the five shimmering, shining bits of armor that were just barely visible along the edge of the catwalk. Those with more mouthheld weapons such as blades sadly could do little more to join in than whoop and cheer as they prepared to unleash hell upon the poor soldiers.

As the five up there were guards, trained by the finest Canterlot had to offer and those that could do the most damage to this operation should word get out, it would seem focusing all attention on them was the correct choice. In any normal situation, it would have been.

But this, thankfully, was no normal situation.

"FOOOLS!"

The lights came before any bullet could be fired, and it's all encompassing explosion of colors meant that as the triggers were pulled by wing or magic or mechanism, they went wild as their wielders let out cries of pain.

"YOU DARE TAKE YOUR EYES OFF THE GREAT AND POWERFUL-whuh oh."

Angering those with heavy projectiles was either the dumbest, or wisest, idea she had ever had.

"LETS DO THIIIIIS!"

When one of the earth ponies leapt from the side, a rope in his mouth and little else to his name, it seemed the former.

"TASTE THE HAYMAKER!"

When no less than three of their foes were launched into each other, stopping those that had been preparing to turn the blue unicorn to a state more resembling her male companions legs, at the very least it was closer to the latter than the former.

"Soldiers, FOR EQUESTRIA!"

Three more bodies came down afterwards, golden armor shining in the light as they did. An earth pony, a unicorn and a pegasi descended, and into the fray they went.

"TEAR THESE FUCKERS APART!"

The mob met the challenge with gusto, and with rage. Below their leaders, the battle was on.

"Looks like it's just you and me, buddy."

1/2

>>26439216

The Camel regarded the last one remaining with a calculating, if slightly dismissive, gaze. Not a single part of him seemed weary of this, as if there was no chance this would ever go any way except that which he intended.

"You really think five guards stand a chance?"

The one standing across from him crouched, every muscle tensing as if to run, and he smiled.

"Well, let's just say I'm feeling... Lucky."

A paused rolled between them like a gust of wind before a shootout. Calm, serene, and unable to hide the strange look the camel slowly gained.

"...Is that supposed to mean something?"

Every muscle that had been ready to jump froze.

"What?'

"You just said that in this really weird way, like I'm supposed to take something away from that. Is that supposed to mean something?"

"...Well, yeah, I said I feel "Lucky"."

"You put emphasis on that again. Are you a guy with a lot of luck or something?"

"OH! Oh, right, uh... my name is Lucky Strikes."

"...Really?"

"Well, you see how it fits now."

"How the fuck was I supposed to get that."

The soldier's eyes darted left and right, and his nose scrunched up.

"Well, looks like you luck... has run out."

"What now, you can do it?"

"At least I have context."

"...Just for that, I'm arresting you extra hard."

"Heh..."

From the side of the camels quite noticeable hump, something rolled down.

Something long, and sharp, and hungering for the soldier's blood.

"Try it."

The battle, above, below, and all around, had begun.

And all the while, the changeling in the thick of it could only lament.

"It had been such a nice vacation too..."

>>26439234
>That exchange

For being a child kidnapping asshole, this camel is pretty damn funny.

>>26439476
On the positive side, like... enslaving kidnapper.

Probably aren't gonna redeem that guy.

>>26439234
...So those guys were like, three seconds from being shot, right?

I mean, I don't blame them, not like they knew there were guns, but holy shit they were gonne die.

>>26439649
No worries, Trixie is there to save them.

She is Bro-Teir to all, not just her buggy friends.

>>26438689
Damn, I was seriously gonna do a gag that had Chrysalis try to take 42's helmet an
FWOOS!
>...Is... is this helmet fake?
"It is now."
>How long has it been missing?
"...Uhhhhh..."

>>26440135
>42
>Losing the helmet of helmets

BLASPHEMY!

>>26440338
>helmet of helmets

This is doubly funny because it quite literally is a helmet of helmets as its made from three smashed together!

>CE guard
"CE pony"
~~~~~~

>...

"...So um..."

>...

"...What, ahhhh... what's the point of the giant floating green orb behind like, eight million shields?"

>....

"That's an exaggeration of course, but this looks kinda... evil."

>...

"...Well?"

>This place used to be a bathroom...

File: 1453814735639.gif (2 MB, 300x168) Image search: [Google]

2 MB, 300x168

>>26440583
Caves 2: The Redu-OMFG NOT THE FACE!!! AHHH-

File: 77.jpg (352 KB, 1472x2259) Image search: [Google]

352 KB, 1472x2259

>>26440644
We have to go back Skiddy! Back to the caves!
Why?
Your kid Skiddy! Your Kid!

>>26440776
Two things. One, never again. Two, if you had posted just a moment later we might have had relevant trips shenanigans.

>>26440776
Oh wow... I haven't seen that image in a long, long time. First thing I ever contributed as an draw friend, besides the blood vessel popping images... Man now I'm probably gonna end up drawing 77 for a while.

>>26440583
I'm wondering now how that would go down

>We don't like that artifact being in the castle!

"Where, exactly, do you want us to put it instead? We can't destroy it without possibly freeing an evil mind to take someone over. What, you wanna fucking stick it in Canterlot?"

>....

"Oh! I know! Let's throw it out in the snow to randomly get found!"

>...

"Or lava! Because if there's one thing the evil changeling was missing, it was a giant DRAGON body! No way can that backfire!"

>...You don't have to be a dick about it.

>>26440776
Oh shit, I still remember the story where he grew old and all that...

>>26441143
Just throw it in a robot, it worked last time and then our rabid Red/Varry shipper sub-fanbase will have a ball.

>>26441643
>Variolus in a robot
....

PUNCHPUNCHPUNCH

"Why the hell did you put her in a bouncy clown"

PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH

>WHY WON'T YOU STAY DOOOOOOOWN!?

PUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCH

'You know EXACTLY why I did that... how long till she gives up?

PUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCH

"When do you think the sun is going to burn out, approximately?"

>>26441970
And the Varryclown is just laaaaughing

>>26441970
>>WHY WON'T YOU STAY DOOOOOOOWN!?

Ironically, that would be a pretty apt description of her at that point.

>>26439476
I'm impressed this is actually giving the guard a decent fight. Them versus a literal mob should be fun.

Good night, friend.

>>26443179
Night, anon.

>>26443179
>>26443662
And one more for the show.

>>26444080
And a good morning to grow on.

>>26444592
Yep, morning to all.

>>26441643
Nobody ships those two.

Now, TBDRLIATU and Varry, that has some legs...

>>26445634
She could make good use of all those accessories...

>AJ
"Celestia"
~~~~

>Tia? Got a question.

"And I now have the ability to summon a giant creature to shoot you with lightning. Tread carefully."

>Cute, but she likes me more.

"Damn!"

>Mah question is, though... where are those dragons gettin' all that treasure?

"Which dragons and what treasure, now?"

>Well, that there red fella had himself a pretty hefty pile.

"Ah... well..."

>...

"Sometimes you have to... look the other way when it comes to a little, em... diplomatic trading?"

>...Ya let them rob ponies?

"Rob is a very strong word."

>...

"Accurate, but strong."

>Ah'm tellin' Twi to develop anti-dragon technologigers.

"Oh yeah, because that'll end well!"

>Worse then constantly gettin' robbed?

"...Godspeed."

>>26446259
'spike'
~~
'OH COME ON'

>>26446292
>...
"..."
>...
"..."

'What?

>...
"..."
>...
"..."
>...
"..."

'..............It was just the one time!'

>Fleur
"Fancy"
~~~~

>Darling? Are you sure this is... wise?

"My dear, I'm surprised at you! Of everyone I thought you'd understand."

>Oh, I do, I understand completely why you must, it's just that...

"My dear, my morals simply cannot let this slide, this... is quite worrying."

>I know, of course, I know, it's just...

"Fleur..."

>Oh, fine, I'll come out and say it, they're giant massive laserhorses who can easily wipe out buildings in a single glance and can probably mind control you with either the changeling or the chaos being and then make you walk off a cliff, is shaking the cage really the best idea?

"...Yes."

>Just double checking. Have fun today! Love you!

"Love you too!"

>...If he doesn't come back fine and alive, I'm going to blow this whole damn castle to pieces.

>>26446647
D'aw, good looking out, Fleur. You're a good wife.

>>26446647
Awwww.

White unicorn stallions and their tall pink haired wives are always top tier.

>>26446647
Boss wife is boss.

She wasn't so boss on introduction but she's boss now.

~~~~~~~~

"Boss, I respect you, I really do, but calling both the fighters and the fuckers with the guns was the stupidest fucking idea-GAHHHH!"

Another one of the mob dropped, clutching the side that now sported quite the impressive looking wound from a stray bullet.

Their numbers had become all but meaningless as whoever was behind the soldiers instantly began to flee, trampling over one another when they saw one of the few in the mass with a gun point said weapon their way. In all the confusion, it made it far easier to slip in close, and deliver a blow before a shot could go off.

"Why did we all come out!? I have a sword! Why do you need me out here when-OH FUCKING FAUST IT HURTS!"

His cutie mark would never be the same.

"Stay still you bunch of sissies! If you block him, he can't dodge my shots!"

"But we'll still get shot you moron!"

"So!?"

"So that's fucking stup-AHHHHH!"

The mare fell to the ground, wailing in pain at the new mark along her cheek. The two mares beside her scrambled, and regretted that although the camel they worked for was a horrible enslaving monster, he was equal opportunity.

"You want a shot!? I'll give you a shot!"

"SHIT!"

Too late, the time spent shooting the uppity fellow mobster had proven to be a second too long to prevent a hammering haymaker blow to the side of the head, one that sent him rolling with such force to knock over his fellows like bowling pins.

"Huh, been working out, Haymaker?"

"Heh, PJ's surprisingly good at working a stallion out."

"No comment."

"HOLD FUCKING STILL!"

Round after round hit the ground, and most certainly not it's intended target of the wispy green unicorn in the golden armor. With an almost drunken grace, said unicorn slid in and out from the front of every shot, moving in and out of their sights before finally ending the shots in a wild, crazed tackle.

"Fucking crazy mare-"

"FUCK YOOOUUUU!"

The blows came quickly. They did not end quickly.

1/3

>>26447251

"Huh, so I guess Quicksilver has been working on his dodging."

"More like he got good thanks to everything from robots to Chitania inexplicably aiming right for him. Dude is like a magnet."

"THAT'S A GUY!?"

"I'd still hit it."

"You mean like this?"

It was cheap, Sucker Punch knew, but he couldn't resist. He had been doing it so often anyway, he no longer felt bad.

"LOOK OUT YOU IDIOT!"

Seeing no less than three guns pointed in his direction, on the other hoof, made him feel very bad. He appreciated Steam Gauges words, but it seemed it had come too late.

They were already pulling the trigger.

"Damn... sorry, 41, guess we can't go after all."

Blam, he expected that sound.

He just didn't expect it to accompany all three of the gun wielding ponies smacking hard into the ceiling instead of firing something to bring his swift demise.

"STOP IGNORING THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE!"

She ran through like a wild bull, horn blazing as she tossed ponies every which way, fired off sparkling firework after sparkling firework towards the masses that tried, in vain, to escape her.

"...Holy shit! I'm fine! I'm gonna be-"

"YOU IDIOT! THERE'S STILL-"

Blam.

The whole world seemed to stop when he heard it. His comrades and foes alike almost froze when they saw it. His heart most definitely stopped when he felt that bullet hit his side.

Time itself seemed to cease to be as ever so slowly, he looked to the pony holding a smoking gun, barrel pointed right at him. It stayed that way as he eventually craned his neck to look to the stinging pain in his side, and inspect what could very well be his end.

"Holy shit..."

"Ho... holy shit."

"Fuck me..."

"...THIS ARMOR ACTUALLY WORKS!?"

The spent bullet rolled off, leaving little more than a dent where it had been, and not a single drop of blood.

"Our armor actually does something!?"

"I thought this shit was just for show!"

"Oh dear Faust it actually does block stuff!"

2/3