Let's play a game, /mlp/! Now on Easy difficulty!
If you don't know what's happening, catch up here: http://anonpone.pineapplecomputing.com/tragic/
>>25995820
>>25995820
Easy difficulty from you? Bit early for April Fools.
"Trust no one, especially not yourself" - Inept 2016
>>25995820
Last time, Holiday Special got some much-needed sleep, but the following morn... um, afternoon, she was awakened to find that it had only delayed the inevitable: The Royal Guard delivered an ultimatum from Princess Celestia right to her door: Make a friend in one week, or get the fuck out. But Holiday Special has some plans of her own...
After many seconds of deliberation, Holiday Special decided to exile herself: She's going to pack up and leave on her own terms, but before she can enact her master plan, she needs two things: money, and inventory space. Applejack and the Cutie Mark Crusaders have helped on both fronts, but her search for quick work has distracted Holiday Special, who is now searching for a local colt's toy boat. He said he lost it in the river near the windmill at the northeast of town. What horrible creature could have victimized this innocent wooden plaything...?
HP: 80%
Bits: 54
Inventory: 1 apple
Status:
>>25995820
>easy mode
>>25995884
Let's test whether or not this is actually easy mode by climbing the waterwheel.
>>25995884
Go find a taser or tranquilizer gun.
>>25995915
actually, the last thread was an even easier mode
>>25995820
>easy mode
>>25995884
>find big net
>bait harpy with apple
>throw net over harpy
>attach net to water wheel
>watch harpy get dragged under
>stop waterwheel
I foresee no issues whatsoever.
>>25995884
>>25995923
The horrible boat-snatching culprit in question reveals itself in a flurry of blue feathers and sharp, scaly talons! It is a...
...harmless bluebird. Most likely of happiness, but potentially of misery and regret as well. Holiday Special should be wary of this wily creature!
>'It's pecking at my ass... What's its deal? Does it think my Cutie Mark is a nest or something?'
Oh yeah.
'This is where your quest continues.'
>>25995994
We loose one fight and you give us training wheels.
>>25995994
That bird is a bomb!
Quick run away!
>>25995994
scream rape and sue that bird
>>25996007
We didn't really lose, it was ended.
>>25995994
Did the bird take the boat? Tell the bird to go home and buck it off.
>>25995994
>filenameObviously, it's your quest after all.
>>25995994
Tell the bird to fuck off, and keep searching for the boat
>>25996026
How could that tiny thing pick up the boat?
>>25995994
Take the infernal beast as a pet, to carry out our dark bidding.
>>25996044
The boat had to go somewhere.
>>25996040
This.
>>25995994
Ask it if it's seen a boat around.
>>25996072
Buttershy might help us with this if we bring her the creature
>>25996094
good idea. drag the bird to flutters.
>>25996015
>>25996016
>>25996026
>>25996040
>>25996059
>"HELP! RAPE! BIRD RAPE! BEGONE WINGED DEMON!"
Holiday Special thrashes and shakes her ass (It'd be nice if someone with actual talent drew these, huh?), stumbling and falling from the waterwheel in a frantic attempt to escape the feathered fiend. Holiday Special plummets into the river with a SPLOOSH!, clawing her way to the surface and gingerly inspecting her rump for damage.
>Butt integrity: 97%
Not perfect, but adequate (more like butt adequate right? Guys? Where are you all going?).
>'If that flying rat comes within ten feet of my precious ass again I'm going to stuff it into a throw pillow.'
But the bluebird appears to have lost interest. It merely hops along the ground, looking to and fro. Is it maybe searching for something?
>>25996150
Wreathe on your butt, its looking for nesting materials.
>>25996150
Clearly it wanted something soft and comfortable, why else would it target such a quality rump.
>>25996150
Even the beasts of nature are attracted to this quality rump.
>>25996150
>>25996164
>>25996172
>>25996194
Stop smelling your own farts and catch that bird to have Yellow Quiet interrogate him
>>25996094
>>25996110
>>25996164
>>25996208
Inspiration strikes Holiday Special!'
>'It must be looking for nesting materials! Toy boats are made of wood, right? Is that how this stupid puzzle is supposed to make sense? Maybe if I can catch it and bring it to what's-her-name, she'll tell me where it put the boat!'
Her plan set, Holiday whistles, getting the bird's attention. When it looks over at her, she turns and slaps her flank.
>"Hey, you! You want some of this, right? You wanna impale this flank on that long, hard pecker of yours, dontcha~?"
The bluebird is enticed! It flies back and perches on Holiday Special's flank. Every now and then it pecks at her Cutie Mark. Holiday Special winces a little, but she grins around it.
>'Perfect. Now for Phase 2...'
Holiday Special heads over to Fluttershy's cottage (I wonder how she knew where it was... Oh well who cares?) and knocks on the door.
"Hello...?" a soft-spoken yellow pegasus answers.
>>25996566
NO TIME TO EXPLAIN! BIRD! HORSE! BUTT! NOW!
>>25996566
Ask her to ask the bird what it did with a toy boat since she can probably talk to animals.
>>25996566
>>25996583
>>25996592
>"Hey, I-"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"
>SLAM!!!
Holiday Special can't even hear herself ask "What the fuck?!" over the sound of nails being pounded into the other side of the door like machine gun bullets.
>>25996622
HEEERRRREEE'SSS HOLIIDDAAAYYY !!!
>>25996622
Knock again.
>>25996622
Trick her out by saying there is something wrong with the bird.
>>25996622
Start crying to guilt trip her into helping you.
>>25996622
"well I guess I'll leave this bird die slowly since you don't wanna help it"
>>25996622
Open up or the burd gets it!
>>25996622
Fine you can just let the nestless bird be homeless fluttershy fine with us.
This should get her out.
>>25996622
Threaten the bird if she doesn't come out.
>>25996681
This.
>>25996622
In through the chimney.
>>25996726
This if comunicaton fails
HO HO HO, HOE!
>>25996657
>>25996663
>>25996668
>>25996681
>>25996710
>>25996722
Holiday Special gets a sneaky, sneaky idea.
>"OKAY, I GUESS I'LL JUST LEAVE THIS POOR, IMPOVERISHED LITTLE BIRD OUTSIDE SO IT CAN FREEZE TO DEATH...!"
The bluebird squeaks in earnest disapproval.
>"Shh. It's reverse psychology."
The bluebird warbles with clarity.
After a short pause, Holiday Special hears the creak of wood. Many, many times. Behind the door she can hear the clattering of nails hitting the floor one after the other, and then the door finally opens a crack.
"A... l-little bird...?" that meek voice asks.
>"Yeah, the one perched on my ass. See it? I, uh, found him and he needed some help."
The eye in the crack swivels from Holiday to the bluebird. The supportive bluebird nods in affirmation.
"Oh, my..." the pegasus whispers, before opening the door a bit more widely. "Please, bring him in. I-I mean, would you... like to come in...?"
>>25996986
I guess.
>>25996986
Well you're quite and don't talk a lot so maybe later but right now I just need this bird off my ponut so I can get this toy boat back to a kid.
This naughty birdy was using it for its nest and no one steals toys from children while holiday special is around.
>>25996986
Suuuure sure. Say, you can like, talk to animals and shit right?
>>25997019
>>25997182
>"...Okay."
Holiday Special accepts the invitation to come inside. The wimpy pegasus' cottage smells like lavendar, which is kind of nice because she expected it to smell of dog food and bird shit.
>"So, you can talk to animals or whatever, right?"
"Y-yes." Fluttershy answers, the bluebird perching on her hoof and chirping to her. "Mr. Bluebird of No Particular Emotional Allegiance here, for instance, is saying thank you for bringing him here. He needs a nest and has been having a lot of trouble finding good materials this close to winter."
>"He might have found a toy boat. Can you ask him about that?"
"Why, of course...! Mr. Bluebird, did you try to make a nest from a toy boat?"
The bluebird nods sheepishly and squeaks.
"It looks like he thought it was a premade nest." Fluttershy explains.
>"Well it's not. It belongs to a kid I'm working for. Can you tell him to give it back?"
"Oh, certainly. Go on, Mr. Bluebird, go get that toy boat, would you please? I'll help you make a proper nest when you get back."
The bluebird nods and flies out a nearby window.
"He shouldn't be long." Fluttershy says reassuringly, before turning her attention back to Holiday Special. She seemed at ease when she was talking to the bluebird, but now it looks like she's forcing a smile. The problem is that she's got the worst poker face in Equestrian history and might in fact be wetting herself now that she's realized who's standing in her living room, in strangling range no less. An awkward silence hangs in the air...
>>25997391
Comment that her house looks like it was made for ants
>>25997391
A N T S
N
T
S
>>25997391
So how's your day goin, bby?
>>25997417
>>25997424Whoopsie.
>>25997391
You have a terrible poker face. If you go make some tea you'll have an excuse to be out of my direct presence for a time and I'll get some tea out of it. It's a win-win for both of us.
>>25997391
Tell her she has alright birdhouses but you could make one that's WAY better.
>>25997391
Sheesh, calm down. We only strangle ponies who cross us or that we don't like.
>>25997391
>>25997424
Alternatively, ask her if she needs any furniture.
Tell her about our plans to move.
>>25997490
Also this.
>>25997391
cough awkwardly. ask how many animals she usually talks to a day
>>25997391
So, does she have the stuff to make a nest or birdhouse with?
>>25997522
this.
But if small talk is necessary ask her if she wants a bird figurine for hearth's warming.
>>25997466
Y'know you're pretty far down my List of Hate.
>>25997570
Only foals deserve Hearth's Warming presents.
>>25997576
Change this from "List of Hate" to just "The List."
>>25997490
This.
>>25997588
Basically Holiday is a manchildmarechild?and can only connect with children. All adults are fuckheads and losers, but we're good with the kiddies.
>>25997490
>>25997512
>>25997576
>>25997604
Holiday Special shakes her head at the shuddering bird poner.
>"You're pretty bad at playing it cool, you know. You can relax. I'm not going to strangle you."
She seems to calm down a little. "Y-you're not...?"
>"Trust me, Buttersly, as far as ponies whose necks I want to wring go, you're pretty far down on the list."
"Oh...? That's a relief. I guess I just assumed otherwise from all those times you yelled at me and spraypainted obscenities on my house."
>'Heh... Good times.'
>>25997503
>>25997522
>>25997547
>"So, can you really help that bird out and build it a nest?"
"Oh, yes...!" she answers, sounding almost possibly like she's considering becoming slightly excited. "There are plenty of trees and bushes around here that my critter friends and I can scavenge nesting materials from, and I have plenty of birdhouses all around for the more fussy birdies that come to visit, too."
>"I noticed. Did you build all these?"
"Actually, I'm not much of a handymare..." she admits. "Most of these birdhouses come from yard sales or Thrifty's. I don't know how to build birdhouses myself."Unforeseen IRL issues have come up and I need to go. Sorry for the abrupt cutoff; I'll be back tomorrow night.
>>25998637
Kay bye
>>25998637
You're an easy target, so I took frustrations out on you.
Nothin personell, kid.
>>25998637
I can make them. You want to order some? They'll be better than whatever trash you'll find elsewhere.
>>25998637
Since we have nothing better to do until the boat gets here, how about we teach her how to make a birdhouse. Could make us a few bits.
>>25998637
try to sell her some more
if I remember correctly, we had a bunch of lumber in our toy shop we could use to construct them, and since we're fucking out of ponyville forever, we need to either use the lumber or just sell it all
>>25998637
>bird poner
Who?
>>25999024
Fluttershy.
>>25999133
Spike!
>>26000393
Who
>>25995820
>>26001586
1762 called. They want their meme back.
>>26001624
Who?
>>26002457
Bird Poners.
Who?
beb
I want to cum inside Holiday Special
>>25998769
>>25998879
>"You know... I don't say this often, so feel flattered; maybe I could build you some better birdhouses. You'd get some quality birdhouses that aren't shitty dumpster-diver trinkets, and it'd help me to use up the spare wood in my basement. What do you think of that, Stuttercry?"
"New birdhouses?" Fluttershy murmurs. "High-quality ones? That would be just delightful...! Oh, but I wouldn't want to burden you..."
>"What burden? Building stuff is one of the..."
Holiday Special looks at her hooves, but then she remembers she has no fingers and does her math mentally instead.
>"...Six things I actually enjoy! Come on, I insist."
"Well..."
Holiday Special balls and raises her hoof.
>"I. In. Sist."
"O-okay!" Fluttershy squeaks, taking a step back.
>"Spectacular! How many can I put you down for?"
"Well, I know that Mr. Bluebird needs a place to stay, and I've been meaning to replace Russell Crow's birdhouse as well... It's kind of old. And Dan Quail needs a new roof. Not to mention David Finch's bent perch, Bluejay Leno's water damage, and Unfunny Bird Pun #97's improperly-sized entry hole... So I guess 6 would be enough. Oh, but maybe I should get a spare, just to be safe... Actually, make that two spares. Just to be extra-safe."
>"So, you want 8 birdhouses, then?"
"Yes, please. I-if you wouldn't mind, that is."
>"You got it, Puddledry! I'll have them done by tomorrow!"
>'Shitshitshit why did I say that? I've already got a bunch of other stuff to do and I don't even know if I have the necessary supplies!'
>>26007582
hey it's the boat. get it
>>26007582
Take boat and leave. Smell you later Buttershy.
>>26007582
Foolish festive horse. There's no such thing as spare time for the next week. We gotta bust that lightly pecked ass if we want any chance of doing this.
Now grab the boat and tell the bird thanks, but don't touch the booty again. Or else.
>>26007582
Remind ourselves of the five other things we enjoy.
>>26007582
She has various outdoors places that she'd need to repaint every few years since she's probably incompetent at paining. Ask if she has any paint.
>>26007625
>"Oh hey the bird's back."
"Oh, so he is... Thank you, Mister Bluebird. Don't worry, we'll have a nice new house for you soon."
Mr. Bluebird is greatly pleased by this turn of events.
>"Great. Thanks, two-legged bird and four-legged bird. I'm outta here, smell ya later."
"O-okay, have a nice night."
>"Mm."
>>26007803
On the way out, Holiday Special happily thinks of the things she loves most in life... Being around foals, making toys, and drinking are certainly three of them. What could the others be? Well, I don't want to spoil anything, but word through the grapevine is that Holiday really lovesher dad's cooking.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCwQb_Pgrw8
>TOY BOAT added to inventory
>HOLIDAY SPECIAL learned ROLE PLAY!
>...That just means she's better at identifying and pandering to what others need, which is a good skill for a savvy businessmare to have!
>(You sick fuck.)
>>26007877
I'm sure role play will be very handy for getting more cash :^)
>>26007877
>Holiday really lovesher dad's cocking.
>>26007877
Now that we've got the Toy Boat, let's return it to the wee lad who lost it.
>>26007918
>>26007963
>(You sick fuck.)
>>26007981
Holiday Special makes the long trek back across town to the playground. But the colt isn't there anymore...
>'Goddamn it don't kids disobey nighttime curfew anymore? I know I did! Especially when Mom accidentally locked me out of the house.'
>>26008203
we don't know where he lives, do we?
we'll give the boat back tomorrow, let's go make some birdhouses
and why the fuck didn't we negotiate a price with fuckershy? we need money, we can't be doing shit for free
>>26008203
Check weird transparent thingy near that double-pendulum toy thingy.
>>26008203
Guess we'll just give it to him tomorrow. Lets see if we can do some shopping.
>>26008203
Whatever, he said he's usually here, we can come back tomorrow.
What's that on the floor near the climbing frame?
>>26008203
Looks like there's a rock with a note.
>>26008239
Holiday Special is not a clever horse.
>>26008264
>>26008358
>>26008414
>'It's a piece of notebook paper, being held down by a rock.'
Holiday Special reads the note, which has the same writing style as the request to find the toy boat had in the first place.
>"'I have to go home for supper. I'll be here tomorrow after school again.' Signed, Goober... Urgh! Damn Daylight Savings Time!"
>>26008529
Then unless we have other obligations that I forgot about we should go home and start working on those birdhouses.
>>26008529
Better add Daylight Savings Time to the list then.
>>26008529
It's getting late. We should go for a walk to see if something interesting happens
>>26008529
Are stores still open? We still need to buy paint
>>26008529
goddamn it, we need money, we can't just make these birdhouses for free when our time is so valuable
now we're fucked
we either don't make the birdhouses at all, or try to charge her when we deliver them
or we could try some kind of barter when we give her the birdhouses, maybe not ask for bits, but she might be thankful enough to give a favor or some help
hmmm
>>26008625
Hey, just because we didn't negotiate a price beforehand doesn't mean we're doing it for free.
We can still refuse to give her the houses for free. We're kind of a dick like that.
>>26008672
that's not proper business though
>>26008687
Who cares? We're Holiday fucking Special, not a kind or reputable pony.
>>26008625
>we need money
We have 54 bits. Surely we can work up from that.
>Plot twist there's a grenade on the screen
>>26008529
Welp may as well start on those bird houses.
>>26008567
No need to fret: Daylight Savings Time (also known as "an excuse for the ever-widening Prince-ass Cel-ass-tia to sleep late") is already on the list, right in between 'Background Pony #217' and 'Stupid-Face Janitor.'
>>26008553
>>26008580
>>26008593
>>26008973
As the Sun sinks behind the horizon and the temperature begins to drop, Holiday Special heads back into town once more. After much deliberation, she decides to just go home for the night. But she comes across an unexpected sight as she follows the alleys back to her place...
>>26009376
I have no idea what that is
>>26009376
Is that a squid-pony wearing a polkadot dress?
>>26009376
the fuck even is that
go kick it to find out what it is
>>26009376
I can't tell if that's something bending over to look into the trash or if it's something in the trash throwing up on the grass.
...think it can be trained to make toys?
>>26009376
Some sort of garbage ninja.
>>26009376
>rape
>>26009376
Since that thing appears to be hunched over, use the opportunity to observe the mystery creature's posterior. We need to know what kind of ass this thing hasand how it compares to ours
>>26009402
>>26009451
>>26009514
>>26009597
>'Oh shit, there's a crazy hobo digging through my trash! He's blocking the way home, and he doesn't have the money to buy a coffee table! What do I do?!'
Holiday Special gets as close as she feels comfortable getting. The pony (At least she GUESSES it's a pony.) rummages further, pulling out an old ice cream carton.
"Oh, wow..." Holiday Special hears the figure mutter. "Dessert... And I only had dinner yesterday...!"
>>26009644
Holiday Special squints at the pony's rump. To her relief, it is both smaller and narrower than her own. Also, the granny dress covering it cuts down on its attractiveness by, like, at LEAST 60%. Ew.
>>26009713
go kick it for going through your trash
>>26009713
Kick her into the trashcan
>>26009713
Ask the hobo why it's digging in our trash and what it even is.
>>26009713
Ask if they intend to pay for that garbage they're stealing.
>>26009713
Hey kid, ever wanted to be an elf?
>>26009713
Tell the hobo pony to get lost.
Then again I don't know why you would care about someone going through your trash.
>>26009753
>>26009763
>>26009785
>Beating the homeless.
Let's not get kicked out of society too early.
>>26009989
nigga that's OUR trash
we're not gonna let some homeless societal reject pick through it all willy nilly
>>26009753
>>26009763
>>26009776
>>26009860
>>26010038
Holiday Special attacks with a kick to the head! The literally filthy thief crashes through the garbage cans and slides down the side of the house.
>"MAKE LIKE ME ON HEARTS AND HOOVES DAY AND BEAT IT, YOU... you... what the fuck are you, anyway?"
The fallen bum twitches. "...I probably deserved that... Story of my life..."
>HOLIDAY SPECIAL learned PUNISHMENT!
>>26010166
how about you eat some REAL food you stupid fuck. GET INTO MY HOUSE
>>26010181
WHAT
NO
why would we invite a thieving garbage gnome into our house?
we have work to do, we can't be playing host to freaks
>>26010166
question the garbage theif
>>26010166
Ask him what a squid pony is doing so far from the ocean and his squid pone brothers.
>>26010166
Whats with you bum what makes you think you deserve a kick to the head. Are you an outcast too?
>>26010166
You're damn right you did, you little raccoon.
>>26009713
Rip off the bum's gaudy clothes while they're down, just to make sure there's actually a pony underneath all that.
>>26010342
This.
Tell her that she should steal garbage from a pony less known for beating up random strangers.
>>26010299
>>26010300
>>26010317
>>26010342
>"You're damn right you did, you little raccoon!"
Once she's done seeing red, Holiday Special approaches the fallen vagrant and interrogates him... her... it?
>"Start talking you deadbeat.... squid thing. What are you doing so far from the ocean? This is skid row, not squid row!"
"I'm not a squid." the bum answers. "If I were a marine animal, I'd probably be a filter feeder. Or maybe a barnacle. Yeah, a barnacle... That'd be nice..."
Holiday Special is unamused. She's also unsure of whether this hobo is a male or a female.
>"Quit trying to be cute! What are you doing here?"
"Looking for a place to sleep." the androgynous hobo answers, still not bothering to get up. "I was going to use the trash can, but now they're both empty... I'm not used to having so many options. It's... it's overwhelming..."
Holiday Special cocks her head.
>"...What's with you? First you said you think you deserved to get kicked in the head, then you talk all weird and like you don't even care about it."
"Oh, well, you see, I don't know if you noticed, but I'm kind of the scum of the Earth. Everypony pretends I don't even exist anyway, so I just try and make that as easy for them as I can. I rooted through your trash as quietly as I could, and I made sure not to rearrange it too much when I was digging for food. But you still heard me... I'm sorry that I made you assault me. That was really douchey of me. Totally my fault. Why don't you just ignore me and go inside, and maybe make some nice hot water to drink? I'll drag myself off your property once the feeling in one of my legs comes back, alrighty? It's the least I can do."
>>26010694
Wow guy, just wow. You're not even fun to fuck with. How the hell did you end up being such a sad sack?
>>26010694
Well shit if every other pony dislikes this freak it can't be that bad.
Let's give it some real food and invite it inside. It can sleep on the couch until we sell it. Maybe we can get it to do some free labor afterwards.
>>26010694
Why don't you cum inside?
>>26010694
>>26010694
Fine, and stop trying to appeal to my good nature. I don't have one.
Go try that on Princess faggotmunch.
>>26010787
>>26010837
Fuck that.
If it was a foal Holiday "38" Special might have some sympathy, but as is this would be character breaking.
>>26010880
But anon if it's in debt to us we can get free slave labor.
And if it refuses webeat it to deathtrain it. Like any good slave..er I mean elf.
>>26010880
>character breaking
Friendly reminder that the concept of this game was to play as a pony who hates everyone. Not just adults.
>>26010694
Invite him in.
He can pull our sleigh when we bail on this shithole.
>>26010756
This one. Don't be all nicey-nice.
I hate to leave on a no-pic note, but it's nearly midnight and I need to be up early again. I'll leave you guys to deliberate until tomorrow. See you then, and thanks for playing!
>>26010968
er...anon we've been nothing but nice to foals this whole game, its kinda a character trait at this point.Unless it's diamond tiara then we punch the bitch in the face.
>>26010694
its head is sorta scootaloo colored
ask what it is
>>26011006
thanks for entertaining us, friend <3
beb
I want to cum inside Holiday Special
bup
beep
Pg 9 save
Holiday Special is uncertain of how to proceed.
>>26010756
>>26010864
>>26010981
>>26011103
>"Who or what are you, anyway?"
"I'm a pony, of course! Just like you... except I don't have quite as many things as you have, like a house... bits... feeling in my legs and back... Nothing really important. I'm just listing the things most ponies notice first."
>"The first thing I noticed was that you look like a garbage ninja. What's with the outfit? You look like if Pozo the Clown opened a retail outlet!"
"Oh, this old thing? This is my winter ensemble, hoof-picked from the finest dumpsters in Ponyville. What do you think of it?"
>"I think my eyeballs are going to melt out of their sockets if I look directly at it for too long."
"You make a great point, but look on the bright side: You don't have to look at my face while I'm bundled up like this!"
>"Okay, first, you need to stop trying to appeal to my better nature. Go do that shit to Princess Twiggy Piggy, because it won't work on me. Second, holy shit are you depressing. What happened to you to make you such a sadsack, anyway? Are you like a comic book character? Is your superpower that you make every pony around you want to kill themselves?"
The bum is quiet for a moment before it responds: "...Is talking to you making you sad? Gosh, usually when I talk to somepony for too long they just walk away, or they start kicking me until I lose consciousness. I'm really sorry, Miss. I didn't mean to upset you. I just take my work really seriously, is all. If the best way I can do that is to be really quiet, just say so and I promise I'll stop talking."
>>26019218
>my work
this isn't work, this is failure
>>26019218
Tell her to be quieter and then go inside.
Hobo-faggot tried, but Holiday is too jaded. Hobos have a habit of trying to fool ponies to get them to give them stuff, and Holiday needs money badly.
We already did our good deed for the month by giving away a couch.
>>26019218
Bluh, give him a piece of clothing that we'll never be able to sell and tell him to get lost.
>>26019218
take hobo. use as lackey and mule to hold things for you.
>>26019218
we could make him do things for us
like get the paint we forgot to buy
then we can pay him in garbage
>>26019354
That's not a bad idea...
>>26019354
I agree, do this.
>>26019260
>>26019350
>>26019354
>>26019367
>>26019442
>"Your work? Failure isn't work. Work would be carrying boards and going to get paint and..."
It is then that inspiration strikes Holiday Special like a kick to the face, through a pair of trash cans, and into the side of a house.
...Well, maybe not quite that strongly, but almost.
>'Say... Maybe this smelly bum can be of some use to me. I could use some help filling all those birdhouse orders and selling excess junk, and he's already destitute so I can pay him in peanuts. Literal peanuts, in fact! Holiday Special, you're a genius!'
>"...You take your work seriously, huh?"
"Oh, definitely. More than anything else in the world...!"
>"Would you like to earn some overtime?"
"Would I ever!?" The hobo flails its dirty little forehoofsies eagerly. "Just tell me to jump and I'll ask how high! ...Um, metaphorically speaking, I mean. My spine hasn't popped back into place yet. But that's okay: My front half will do the work of two half-ponies! Just tell me what to do and I'll give it my best shot! Or my worst, if that's what you prefer: I have a wide range of talents!"
>>26019850
Well, you can start by picking up our garbage and returning it to it's containers.
>>26019850
should we try to put their spine back in place?
>>26019967
Nothing that a precise stomp can't fix
>>26019967
A broken ponie is a useless pony let's fix it's back.
>>26019967
>>26019978
>>26019996
>A pony was found dead this morning...
>>26019967
>>26019978
>>26019996
>"I guess I should fix your back so you can actually work, instead of just lying there stinking up my lawn."
"Wow, you're really nice...!"
>"Shut up and hold still."
HOLIDAY SPECIAL used STOMP!
It's super-effective!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ea8c1cm4fpc
>>26020255
Once it's able to work then tell it to clean up the trash and then it can come in the house.
>>26020255
Ask how they feel now.
>>26020255
Wow, we're so multi-talented
Get them up and ask for a name.
>>26020390
>letting the dirty homeless squid pony into our house
how about no
we can give directions through the window
if we need it to come inside we can order it to clean itself in the river or something
>>26020465
we could just tell it to leave it's clothes outside and then have them use our shower. Then they won't be dirty anymore.
>>26020465
>>26020474
I'd prefer the river. We pay for that hot water.
>>26020474
>letting the dirty homeless squid pony use our shower
how about no
>>26020465
If we don't clean the pone it can't do jobs for us.
No one sells to dirty poners.
>>26020491
we don't care about really care since we're moving anyway?
>>26020493
did you not read the part about it no longer being dirty if we clean it?
>>26020465
He'll probably have to come inside eventually anyway.
We might need his help moving the couch.
>>26020521
yes, but it would be dirty the entire time it's in the house before it's done showering
that's unacceptable
it can clean itself in the river
>>26020545
we can just wrap his hooves in baggys if you care so much about it leaving a dirt trail. We can also just lift him and carry him to the bathroom with telekinesis.
>>26020570
he'll contaminate the air with his hobo stench
RIVER
okay, how about a compromise? we'll give him some soap or something out a window and he can get extra clean from the river?
>>26020545
It's not like we're saying there. Were moving remember.
It really doesn't matter if the pony is dirty or not.
>>26020590
he'll lower the value of the house if we let him in, we'll get less money when we sell it
>>26020582
We can literally just open a window. Also you and I both know you're grasping at straws. Alright how about we put two trashbags over him. on his front half and then bottom half. your precious air will be clean and then we can put him in a tub of warm water.
>>26020605
You guys realize he needs a proper scrubbing right? You drop a dirty horse in cold water and all you get is a dirty wet horse that smells twice as bad.
>>26020654
He can have use some soap.
>>26020685
But, without a good scrubbing, thats the equivalent of spraying a little bit of aerosol air freshener after someone takes a mondo stinky ass dump. It smells like someone took a shit in a basket of potpourri.
>>26020750
So we can toss it a scrub brush. I don't see your fixation on getting it inside before it smells better. We're certainly not going to be scrubbing it down ourselves either way.
>>26020756
We got a horn and a shortness of time.
Can't be waiting around for this.
>>26020395
>>26020407
Holiday Special steps off the hobo when she hears a soft crunchy sound. The hobo groans and begins to stir.
>"There. How do you feel now?"
"Unnh..." The ponies hind legs twitch, and then it sits up. "Wow, that's the best massage I've ever had...! You have magic hooves, Miss..."
>"Don't push it. What's your name, anyway?"
"My name? Oh, I didn't introduce myself? It's Gutter Pup...! How about you? What's your name?"
>"None of your damn business."
>>26020465
>>26020474
>>26020491
>>26020493
>>26020510
>>26020521
>>26020545
>>26020570
>>26020582
>>26020628
>>26020654
>>26020685
>>26020750
Holiday Special is very conflicted!
>'This dirty fucker definitely needs a bath or three before I can let it in the house; I don't want him getting bum cooties all over my stuff.
>Except... When I fell in the river this afternoon, it was freezing. It'll be even colder now... Damn it, I can't get labor of questionable legality if my laborer gets hypothermia! What do I do?'
>>26020961
get him in the house. your magic aura will contain his cooties.
>>26020961
do we have a hose?
>>26020961
Give him a quick hose down outside, then hover him inside and drop him in the bath.
>>26021009
This works. Run the warm bath first and tell him to strip down.
>>26020961
Get a bucket of hot water from the house.
>>26021006
>>26021009
>>26021067
>>26021080
>'Oh, wait, I have a hose, don't I?'
>"Alright, stinkweed, you get those filthy clothes off. I'm going to get you cleaned up. Wait here, got it?"
"Okay..." Gutter Pup answers, reaching for the torn scarf wrapping around its head. "Um, if I freeze to death before you get back, I'm sorry in advance."
>"Urgh..."
Holiday Special shakes her head as she goes inside and turns on the bathwater, being sure to empty any stray liquor bottles that may have accumulated in the bathtub since she last used it.
>'Fucking weirdo suicide horse... Who even says stuff like that? He... she... It must be doing that on purpose. Fishing for sympathy, I bet. Too bad these are empty waters.'
Once the water is warm enough, Holiday Special lets the tub fill, going out to start up the hose in the interim. Gutter Pup is right where she left him, pulling the last sock off his hoof and setting it down on the grass. Without his trash wardrobe, Holiday Special sees for the first time how short he is. And that he is indeed a male.
...Wait, a short male? With a high-pitched voice...?
>>26021404
is he a gnome pony?
>>26021404
It's probably just a short guy with a high voice instead of you know. An actual homeless colt.
>>26021404
Oh no. A teenager.
don'tthinkaboutitdon'tthinkaboutitdon'tthinkaboutit
>>26021404
His he a child?
We can't just wash a child outside with a hose like he's a immigrant.
Get him in the tub.
>>26021443
>>26021449
>>26021462
Or we could ask how old he is instead of assuming?
>>26021462
hey, for all we know he could very likely be an immigrant
get out the hose, proceed with plan
>>26021484
Sure that works.
>>26021484https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtFKOJKtXLQ
Wait a second! It looks like you never set the language option before you started playing. Would you like your answer to be given in English (human years) or Equestrian (pone years)?
>>26021596
English.
>>26021596
Me no speaku horsetongue
>>26021596
Click sound test.
>>26021596
I don't speak pone so I need the answer to be in English.
>>26021596
english.
>>26021624
I want to know how many different variations of "Fuck you" there are!
>>26021624
>>26021666
Sorry Satan, there's only copyrighted and usually-poor-quality video game songs in there.
>>26021615
>>26021621
>>26021628
>>26021665
Kay done.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtFKOJKtXLQ
>>26021443
>>26021449
>>26021462
>>26021484
>>26021502
Holiday Special suddenly looks nervous.
>"What did you say your name was?"
"Oh, um, it's Gutter Pup."
>"Gutter Pup, how old are you...?"
"I'm 14."
>'Oh shit.'
>>26021736
well then. looks like you're bringing him in the house now.
>>26021736
Where are your parents?
They better be dead, because if not they soon will be.
>>26021736
You poor thing!
Get this little guy in a bath with a hot meal stat!
>>26021766
this
>>26021736
On the one hand he is an abandoned child but on the other hand he's a fucking hobo trying to appeal to emotion.
So I guess we couldgo behind the house where no one can see and give him a pre-bath with the hose, then he can have a nice hot bath in our house.
>>26021766
This.
Spray with hose still out of frustration.
>>26021736
Apologize for beating him earlier and these:
>>26021766
>>26021772
>>26021757
>>26021772
>>26021819
>>26021943
Holiday Special feels a pain in her heart.
>"Oh, shit... I'm so sorry! You poor little guy, come on...! You deserve better than being sprayed down with a cold hose like a rioting zebra in Baltimare. Let's get you into that nice warm bath right now!"
Holiday Special lifts Gutter Pup right off the ground with her magic and carries him inside. His hoofsies dangle meekly. They begin to kick as he is levitated over the bathtub.
"You don't need to go to so much trouble for me...!" he tries to say. "I wasn't going to complain about free water."
But Holiday Special is having none of the colt's backtalk. She drops him into the bathtub mid-excuse and begins grooming him.
>"Where the f... Where in Equestria are your parents?"
"I don't know." Gutter Pup answers. "I grew up in an orphanage. I haven't seen my mom since I was really little, and I don't think I've ever seen my dad at all."
Stopping for the night. Please leave feedback and such, and thanks for playing!
>>26022337
Ask where he's from.
When you're soaping up his hair remember to tell him to close his eyes and pour water down on him.
>>26022337
Ask why if he's from the orphanage that he's wondering the streets.
Is the place not treating him and the other kids right?
>>26022337
At first this lil kid reminded me of Napstablook from Undertale. Always apologizing for getting in your way and beating up on himself. Now he feels like from one of those abused teenagers from a madea movie.
>>26023485
unf
no beb
Ber9bel
>>26022537
>memetale
top beb
>>26025889
>tfw you realize dismissing things because they are memes
>is a meme
>>26027979
everything is a meme, anon
even you
we need to give this colt a toy.
>>26028683
Let's go for a pluchie !
>>26029010
can we even sew? I thought we only worked with wood.
If we can, we need to make a little holiday special doll.
>>26029340
Better?
Or, we could sculpt some wood, you are right.
What about...some kind of toy maybe?
Like a train or...
God, what did little colts play with!?
Shall I Bump ?
For the glory of this epic quest ?
>>26029340
>'I suck at sewing. Lord knows how I'd get good at it, outside of some stupid sidequest or something...'
>>26022361
>>26022447
>"Close your eyes."
As Holiday Special rinses the colt's hair, she asks the obvious question:
>"Why are you roaming the streets if you come from an orphanage? Especially in December - you must be freezing!"
"Oh, no, my winter wardrobe keeps me very warm!" Gutter Pup insists between rinses. "I haven't gotten frostbite once since I finished it! Anyway, I was getting too old to stay at the orphanage; I left after I got my Cutie Mark, to make room for other foals."
Holiday Special glances at the colt's flank; there's a picture of a welcome mat on it. Even in the warm soapy water, the mat looks tattered and dirty.
>"A welcome mat Cutie Mark...?"
"Uh-huh. I got it after a pegasus at the orphanage fell on me and bruised one of my ribs. He might have gotten really hurt if I didn't break his fall... That was when I realized what my purpose in life was...!"
Holiday Special is dumbfounded.
>"Right... So, where are you from? "
"I don't know. I live here now because it's a nice town, but the orphanage was in Hollow Shades. And the ponies there said that my mom came from the north when she left me there. So... I guess you could say I came from nowhere."
>>26030058
How long have you been in this town?
Continue cleaning him. Once you're done with his mane start working on that coat.
>>26030058
What is your purpose in life, exactly?
>>26030058
Anyone else considering temporarily adopting Gutter Pup and making him a elf to help us in the workshop?
>>26030058
Sounds like he needs the help of a certain trio to find the real meaning of his cutie mark.
>>26030289
I thought about that toobut inept didn't watched S5 so the CMC in this story are cutiemarkless.
>>26030125
>>26030279
>>26030289
Holiday Special brushes Gutter Pup's coat.
>"How long have you lived here?
"About three and a half weeks..." Gutter Pup answers. "I was going to keep going south for the winter, but I was too tired to keep going, so I decided to stay here for a bit. I think it's worked out well."
>"You're a bum! How is that 'working out well?!'
"Oh, not for me. I mean for everypony I've met here. I don't like to brag, but I think I've done a great job...!"
Holiday Special turns Gutter Pup around and scrubs his back.
>"Yeah, this 'job' of yours... What is it, exactly?"
"Making other ponies feel better about their lives. I see a lot of ponies on the streets. When I talk to them, they say things like, 'Boy, I'm glad I'm not you.' And that helps them, because when they see me, they know that no matter how bad things get for them, at least they aren't me."
