>"Wow Anon. When did you become such a stick in the mud? You are so uncool now."
Look. I just want sex, alright?
>>25896704
I'm just sitting here eating potato chips by myself, Dash. What the fuck?
>>25896704
Drugs are for losers, Rainbow Dash.
>>25896704
I didn't even fucking doing anything, you bitch.
>>25896704
>>25896704
This is your brain on drugs, Rainbow Dash
>>25896908
THIS. THIS is your brain on drugs, Rainbow Dash
>>25896704
Well excuse me missy but i don't feel realy cool with a buttplug with ponietail
Now get the fuck away from me i need to plow a certain apple
(To plow someone: used as a synonym for vaginal inercourse)
Dash, believe me, I do want to go snowboarding with you this winter.
>"Then do it! What's the big problem."
>You raise an eyebrow as she glares at you.
>Dash isn't the brightest crayon in the box, but this is ridiculous.
>You think she'd at least acknowledge, or see, the wheelchair you're in.
I'm fucking crippled.
>"No you aren't."
>She gets behind you and continues pushing you to the store.
>"You're just being lazy."
For three months now I've just been being lazy?
>"Yep. Ever since you got hurt falling out of that tree you've just been pretending to be more hurt than you really are.
>"It was a funny prank at first, you even got the hospital in on it somehow, but now you're just using it as an excuse to get everypony to do things for you.
>"That may work with Fluttershy and Rarity, but I know better, I know you better, and I know that you'd never cripple yourself doing something so lame."
>Soon a joking tone lightened the mood.
>"I mean, falling out of a tree? The Anon I know would cripple himself in a much cooler way."
If there was a cool way to become crippled I would've done it.
>"Are you kidding? What about karate matches, or track and field, hoofball?"
All the things we used to do?
>"Yep."
>Your wheel goes over a rock and the chair briefly lifts up and then slams down.
>"Used to do."
>Not being able to stand the melancholy of your friend you try to think of something.
>Then an idea came to you as you watched her pet tortoise fly by on his magical propeller.
Maybe I could put some skis on my chair somehow.
>Dash gasped and the two of you began discussing how such a thing could work.
>As you passed a store window you looked at the reflection of two athletes cut down, and the wing that was still damaged during a daring rescue.
>Still bandaged from the night you and her got caught in a raging thunderstorm going through Ponyville.
>Dash got caught in a gust that not even she could fly in and crashed into a tree, injuring her wing badly in the event.
>You saved her.
>>25896704
I'm the same Rainbow, maybe you've just gotten cooler.
>>25897245
Now I want a feels story where ponies ignore the fact that anon is a wheelchair bound cripple and refuse to give him help.
>>25896704
Piss off i'm just taking a nap.
>>25897306
This is a beautiful post.
>>25897306
How much cooler, would you say?
>>25898516
About19%cooler.
"I'm sorry Dash, kids are a big responsibility. I'm sure even you can understand it."
>"Fine, but please make time to hang out with me more often."
>She says kicking dirt.
"Of course I will, Dash. See you later."
>You say, closing the front door of your house.
>"Goodbye, you moron"
>A few seconds later you go check on your little ray of sunshine that is actually just a sack of flour.
>One day you decided to dress a sack of potatoes as a baby just for fun, and a few days later convinced Rainbow that you had a baby.
>It´s been two months and she has not asked to see the baby.
>Lately you just use it to avoid doing dangerous things.
