>"What's the matter, Anon? Cat got your tounge?"
>>25804219
Why? Do you want my tongue instead?
>>25804219
No but Discord seems upset that you, his mother, has been attempting to seduce me ever since you arrived.
>>25804219
For some reason I read that as "cat got your touge?"
>>25804219
ok, now where's the visual gag where she has kittens come out of my mouth?
>You watch in horror as Opal bursts forth from your mouth, painfully expanding your jaw.
>But it's not nearly as painful as the unmistakable feeling of your tongue being replaced with an open wound.
>Opal hits the ground running, and as she disappears, yowling proudly, towards carousel boutique, you notice she has a pink, floppy thing in her mouth.
>A thing that is clearly your tongue.
>She's already gone by the time you realize the stuff filling your mouth is blood.
>what do?
>>25805719
>the unmistakable feeling of your tongue being replaced with an open wound
>unmistakable
Yeah, I hate it when that happens, but it's just something you deal with.
>>25805719
Bleed to death.
>>25805719
PANIC
>>25805831
I have to imagine if it happens, you kinda know.
>>25804219
I wanna suck on your fang.
>>25804219
"Pleath lethgo of my thung"
>no
>>25804219
No, you got my heart.
>>25806278okay, I'm pretty autistic so my opinion doesn't really matter much, but damn. That was smooth as fuck.
Would you a EQG Eris?
>>25806542
I want to babysit her
>You, Anonymous, can't help but question the decisions in your life that lead up to this moment as you raise your hand to knock on the door of the house before you.
>The abode itself was if anything hard to describe, seemingly an amalgamation of virtually every known architectural style you could imagine thrown almost haphazardly together.
>Admittedly it was actually perfectly fitting considering the creature that dwelt within.
>Eris.
>In all the years that you had now lived in this strange world you now called home, you had never met another like her.
>You had heard she was once the most dangerous foe Equestria had ever faced, though now was considered to be at least somewhat reformed.
>In any case the two of you had formed a kind of friendship of late, if indeed that was the correct term for the kind of relationship the pair of you shared.
>You really don't know what keeps bringing you back to her.
>In many ways you're like a moth to her flame and she a cat playing with a mouse, toying with it to keep herself amused.
>She finds you interesting and you have no doubt that one of these days she'll take you apart to see what makes you tick.
>You can only hope to Hell that she remembers how to put you back together again afterwards and that she can be bothered to do so.
>>25806572
>Knocking on the door, you cease your moment of introspection.
>You don't have to wait long as after no mare than a moment or two the door swings inwards and you're pulled off your feet by some unseen force that levitates you inside suspended a few feet above the chequered marble floor.
>Around you the interior of the house shifts and changes apparently at random, hallways opening where before there was nothing while staircases sprung up out of the floor before bursting through the ceiling above.
>Despite all of this the invisible force pulling you ever further inside showed no hesitation as it guides you through the warping depths of the strange house.
>You kept telling yourself there was no possible way a building like this could exist.
>The inside was far larger than it appeared on the outside.
>You had asked Eris once about this but she had merely giving a dismissive chuckle and muttered something about pocket dimensions.
>Eventually you felt the force weakening and were deposited unceremoniously upon your backside on the cold floor.
>After scrambling to your feet you glanced around the room you were now in.
>Though you had been inside the house many times now it was never the same from one visit to to another and you'd be willing to bet you'd never find your way out if weren't for its owner having an apparent soft spot for you.
>Having said that you also wouldn't put it passed her change her mind at any moment and keep you as a pet.
>>25806576
>All about the room were scatted various pillows and cushions, while at one end was a large, roaring fireplace.
>A subtle pink haze also filled the room, not unlike mist, but without being cold or damp.
>A soft chuckle draws your attention the opposite end of the room, where upon a large mound of red cushions lay the draconiquis herself smirking at you.
>"Hello kitten," she greets as once again the invisible force lifts you off your feet and pulls you closer to her, "come to play with me again? Or perhaps you'd rather be the one being played with. If I run my talons down your spine will you purr for me kitten?"
>Setting you down upon the cushions beside her she coils herself around you like a great serpent, her head resting on your shoulder as she runs a claw over you chest.
>When the princesses had first learned of your friendship with the creature now entwined around you they had cautioned you to keep your distance, believing that, though claiming to be reformed, she still posed a very real danger should you grow too close.
>As you feel Eris tightening herself around you constricting you so that breathing was becoming difficult, you turn your head to the side only to see her smiling at you with half-lidded eyes.
>"What's the matter, kitten? Why so blue?"
>You don't doubt you're turning blue as your lungs cry out for oxygen.
>"Say it."
>With what little air you still had you manage to splutter out a reply.
"Please, mistress... Can't breathe."
>>25806591
>Feeling the coils around you loosen, you gasp for air, the draconiquis beside you laughing softly before giving you a playful kiss on the cheek.
>"Good boy."
>Turning to face her you frown slightly, not truly appreciating the times when she decided to do this to you.
"Yeah, funny. You may not need to breathe but I do."
>Eris merely pouts at you.
"Maybe one day I won't say it and deicide instead to just drop dead and see what happens."
>"Oh now shush, you know I wouldn't let my favourite toy go so easily."
>Was that all you really were to her, a toy?
>Something to be played with ad abused and discarded once broken?
>You like to thank that you're-
"Ow! What the Hell‽"
>You're pulled from your thoughts and recoil slightly as it dawns on you that your companion had indeed just bitten you.
>You wouldn't mind so much if her teeth weren't like razor blades.
>"You were doing that whole internal monologue thing again, I could see it in your eye."
"So you bit me? What are you, five or something?"
>"Don't be grumpy, kitten, it doesn't suit you."
>With a snap of her fingers Eris untangles herself from you and conjures herself some chocolate milk before promptly swallowing the entire thing, glass and all.
>You can't help but cringe slightly as she chews, the sound of shattering glass grating against your nerves like nails on a chalkboard.
"Do you really-"
>You're cut off by a clawed finger pressing itself to your lips and effectively silencing you.
>"Not now, Anon, I'm enjoying a treat."
>>25806597
>Rolling your eyes you wait patiently for your companion to finish her so called treat.
>You honestly don't know if she does this kind of thing to just to mess with you or what.
>Eventually Eris swallows and turns to you once again with a satisfied grin on her face.
>"So what has my favourite boytoy been up to lately?"
>Wait what.
"What do you mean favourite? You have others?"
>Once again the draconiquis wraps herself around you, fortunately far less tightly this time.
>"Favourite or only, what's the difference? Though I must say I'm pleased that you're more annoyed at the prospect of there being others than of being referred to as my boytoy. Perhaps you've finally reconsidered my offer, hmm?"
"Look, I-"
>"We could do such wonderful things together, kitten. We could create such chaos. I could make you a god, a king above all others and you could rule by my side forever... if only you'd swear yourself to me... if only you'd let me in."
>God it was tempting.
>You knew Eris found your near invulnerability to magic fascinating, not least because she alone seemed able to effect you where even the Elements of Harmony and the princesses could not.
>She had been trying to get you to 'let her in' for a while now, whatever that meant.
>"I could show you such sights that you wouldn't believe them possible."
>With another snap of her fingers you found yourself lying down on your back supported by cushions with Eris atop you, smiling down at you with her usual self assured smirk.
>"I pity mortals with their preconceived notions of pleasure." She says as like a snake she slithers her way up your body. "Those oh so fleeting moments of bliss they yearn for."
>You lock eyes with her as she brings her face level with yours.
>>25806601
>"I could show you pleasure the likes of which they couldn't even imagine. The likes of which their frail bodies couldn't even hope to endure."
>Her lips are now mere inches from yours and you can feel her sweet smelling breath upon your face.
>"But with my help and my careful guidance I know you could hold strong where they would crumble."
>With a grin she lewdly trails her forked tongue over your lips all the while maintaining eye contact.
>"Would you like a taste? A small sample of what I could give if you were to accept my offer?"
>>25806605
>Would it really be so bad to just give in and give yourself over to this creature lying atop you?
>The princesses had warned you that she'd most likely try to bend you to her will somehow, but at the end of the day what did it matter?
>You had no family and few friends in this place, the sole member of your species.
>A species that, once you were gone, would fade from memory and into the history books of this world.
>Would it really be so deplorable of you to just give in and accept? To say 'fuck it' and spend the rest of your days in bliss with Eris?
>And what if what she said was true and she could make you a god to rule by her side for all eternity... or at least until she grew bored of you?
>Wouldn't that be worth going against the princesses' will?
>Sure they'd be disappointed in you, seeing it as you letting yourself become corrupted by temptation, but who where they to judge you anyway?
>True they treated you well and were kind and generous to you, even going as far as to provide you a home to allow you to settle more easily into your new life.
>They pitied you like they would a stray dog, knowing you'd never see your old friends or family again.
>They didn't understand though, what you'd do to just forget and lose yourself in the arms of one who could offer you an escape from the realisation that you were in all the world alone.
>You snap out of your self pitying musings and look up again into the eyes of Eris as she smiles down at you.
>Decision made, screw it.
>Who was anybody else to judge you?
"Yes... do it."
>After a brief chuckle Eris closes the gap between you and locks lips with you, though only for a moment before again pulling away with a look of satisfaction.
>"Good boy... Now just lie back and enjoy. This is going to feel like nothing you've ever felt before."
>She leans forwards and whispers in your ear.
>"It's going to be intense."
>You don't have time to reply as the draconiquis places once of her eagle talons on your forehead.
>"Don't fight it."
>In an instant you feel like you've just been hit by a lightening bolt, a searing sensation coming from where she had touched your head knocking you flat against the pillows below you.
>You quite literally can do nothing but gasp, unable to even move or blink as your blood feels like it's turning to fire in your veins.
>Despite the heat flowing around your body you can sense no pain, even as your heartbeat grows ever faster and thumps in your ears while your vision fades.
>If this is what heroin was like then you'd been missing out for all your years on Earth.
>After you don't know how long you began to see colours dancing in front of your eyes, not even caring if they were real or just in your head as every nerve in your body seemed to sing out in pleasure.
>You could no longer feel the pillows or floor beneath you, your body seeming weightless as you floated through an endless expanse of miraculous colours and shapes that shifted and changed before your very eyes.
>Do you even have a body anymore or has your consciousness ascended to a higher plane of existence made of of light and colour and energy?
>You can faintly hear a voice calling out somewhere in the distance.
>It's calling its kitten to come home.
>>25806613
>You vaguely recognise the voice but you can't bring to mind its owner.
>Did it even have an owner? Was it really even there of was it just in your head?
>The colours are changing now, forming into distinct shapes that couldn't possibly exist in any dimension.
>They pass by you and through you without resistance as you float ever higher.
>How long had you been here in this world place? Seconds? Hours? Had it been days?
>You couldn't remember.
>You can't ever remember being anywhere but here.
>You want to stay here forever where everything is bright.
>That voice is back again, calling for its kitten.
>If you listened closely perhaps you could remember who the voice belonged to.
>"Kitten."
>You vaguely remember hearing yourself being called that once upon a time, but you can't remember who by.
>Kitten."
>Was the voice calling for you?
>Did it want to take you away from this place?"
>"Wake up, kitten."
>>25806618
>With a start you bolt upright, the colours that had just seconds earlier filled your vision fading as you regained equilibrium and your faculties returned to you.
>You shiver as, looking down, you see you're drenched with sweat.
>Panting in exhaustion you fall back down onto the cushions and simply stare up at the ceiling above.
>You feel as if you'd just run a marathon.
>Slowly Eris floated herself into the line of sight, suspending herself midair a few feet above you.
>"So," she begins, looking down at you with a smirk and a playful gleam in her eye, "how was it?"
>You exhale slowly and trail your hands down you face.
>How was it? Such a simple question, but so hard to answer given what you'd just experienced.
"I feel... I feel like my soul just had an orgasm."
>Eris waggles her eyebrows at you.
>"That would explain the tent you were pitching in your pants the whole way through then."
"Pervert."
>Eris laughs loudly as you pull yourself upright with a groan."
>"Me? You're the one that probably jizzed yourself."
>You still feel like there's fire pumping in your veins.
"Yeah well whatever, what d'ya want to do now?"
>>25806619
>Half an hour or so later you find yourself in another part of the impossible house, this time sitting on a large sofa with Eris again coiled around you as you watch TV.
>You have no idea where she got an actual working television given the total lack of them in Equestria but deicide not to question it too much.
>Come to think of it you doubt 'Celestia's most embarrassing blunders throughout the ages' is an actual show either, but again fuck it.
>"So why did you come to visit me again?"
>You glance lazily to where your companion's head lies on a pillow on your lap and shrug.
"Hell, I don't know. I like you."
>"Aww," she cooed, "that's sweet, kitten. I like you too."
>You roll you eyes, knowing she was probably just teasing you.
>"So tell me, what have Dorklight Neverlaid and the merry munchkins been up to lately? It seems like forever since I last got out of the house and had a little fun around town."
>You know full well what Eris considers 'fun' and you're not sure if you should be grateful for that or not, especially hearing the emphasis she put on the word and seeing the way her eyes lit up mischievously when she said it.
"Well.. uh, Twilight had me help her out at the library again as an excuse to run some more tests on me."
>"~Booooring~"
>You ignore the interruption.
"Rarity made me a couple of new shirts, this time without the sequins."
>Hearing a loud snore you look down to see your companion pretending to have been bored to sleep, her head resting against the armrest.
>>25806623
"Oh and Pinkie blew up Sugarcube corner."
>In an instant Eris's eyes shoot open and she sits upright.
>"Wait, really?"
>You shake your head and smirk.
>"Not fair, kitten, getting my hopes up like that," she pouted, settling back down and once more draping herself over you.
"Well you know nothing interesting ever happens around here anymore."
>You barely notice as your companion's snakelike tail winds into way into your lap, its owner seemingly engrossed with what's happening on the television across from you.
>"Hmm... tell me about your week."
>Your week? It had been as uneventful as any other and certainly wouldn't make for an entertaining topic for conversation.
>Being a masseur paid the bills and was easy work compared to some of the other things you'd done but you wouldn't call it an exciting subject.
>"I'm waiting, Anon."
>Well it's not like you can think of anything better to talk about.
"I made a nice haul of tips this week for starters and hopefully should be getting next Tuesday off as compensation for filling in for-"
>You stop mid sentence, suddenly aware of your companion's tail having wormed its way beneath your shirt and under your belt, the silky fur at the tip brushing tantalisingly against your thigh.
>"Compensation for what, kitten?" Asked Eris, seeming totally oblivious to her actions.
>>25806630
"For... For, uh-"
>You can't help but stutter, unable to ignore how the offending appendage of the draconiquis had now found its way into the waistband of your boxer shorts.
>Why did you have to wear your belt loose today of all days?
>"For?"
>You glance over at Eris expecting to see her smirking at you with her usual teasing grin, instead greeted by the sight of her still watching the television like nothing out of the ordinary was happening.
"F-For filling in for Lotus."
>You hear a faint giggle from your companion.
>"There, was that really so hard to tell me?"
>It may have just been your imagination but you could have sworn you heard a slight inflection in her speech when she uttered the word 'hard.'
>As if to emphasise her words the tip of her tail had now coiled itself firmly around your ever hardening erection.
>You had never had the best self control to start with but months on end of living amongst creatures that mostly considered you little more than a friendly novelty had meant that there had been slim pickings for Anon junior of late.
>As such it didn't take much for you to pop a boner worth of mighty Zeus himself.
>"It must be so ~hard~ for you, being expected to bring all those mares such sweet bliss and relaxation with nothing but those nimble fingers of yours."
>Oh great, now she really is teasing you.
>You can't do much more than lie back into the soft cushions of the sofa and let out a shuddering breath you weren't even aware you were holding as slowly you feel Eris's tail coil and glide over your shaft.
>For being covered in scales her snake like appendage has no business being this soft, and the fact that her almost feathery plume of silken soft fur seems intent on tickling your thighs and other areas isn't helping you maintain your composure.
>>25806635
>"It must be so frustrating for you, kitten, to see all those selfish mares lying there utterly satisfied from your attention without even so much as a word of thanks in return," she practically purrs after a few minutes of torturous silence and constant teasing.
>Your breath hitches in your throat momentarily as you feel her tail coil a little tighter, though not quite to the extent of being painful you couldn't help but flinch slightly.
>"They treat you differently because of how you look, just like they do me."
>That much was true to some extent, though you wouldn't say you were discriminated against.
>"Believe me... I know how you feel."
>You don't doubt that.
>You're pretty damn sure she knows exactly what you're feeling right now all thanks to her.
>If the steady increase in the speed of which her tail was teasing you was anything to go by you'd be willing to bet she was having a lot of fun making you feel this way too.
>You're ashamed to admit it, but your months long dry spell has sapped your endurance and your muscles are already tightening in expectation of your imminent release.
>"Perhaps next Tuesday then you'd be willing to take little old me out for a date then, hmm? I'm sure we'd turn a few heads and we could certainly have a lot of fun together."
>Fuck, yes, whatever she wants.
>You're too engrossed in your impending orgasm to argue or even think about what she's saying.
>With a hushed, almost animalistic grunt of satisfaction you feel every muscle in your body relax as you unleash several months worth of pent up frustration, Eris's tail never ceasing its motions as it's covered in a thick, white coating of your special home brew.
>You don't even want to think what a mess you've made of your pants.
>Letting out a relaxed sigh as Eris withdraws her appendage from your waistband, you fail to notice her turn and offer you a playful smile.
>>25806641
>After an hour or so more of idle chitchat and the odd childish joke at your expense Eris had rather bluntly informed you that she was bored and wanted to be alone.
>It was almost jarring how at times she wove her words like a delicate tapestry, never quite saying what she meant yet offering fleeting glimpses of the inner workings of her mind, while on other occasions she'd quite openly tell you what was essentially "go away, I'm sick of the sight of you for now."
>In any case as you trudge your way home through the early evening chill, you can't help but reflect on exactly what just transpired.
>You still feel light headed and you'd swear your teeth were vibrating if you didn't know better.
>What exactly did she do to you?
>Even now in the dim light of the moon above the world around you seems alive with movement.
>Casting your eyes out over the shadowy landscape, colours seem slightly more vibrant and the air smells almost sweet as if carrying the scent of far away meadows of wildflowers.
>Off in the distance you hear the faint echoes of conversation, yet in your current state every word seems clear and crisp as if they were coming from you yourself.
>You shake your head to try and dispel whatever bewitchment she'd cast over you, but it's of no use, your mind is alive with sensation.
>>25806650
>Finally reaching your door you fumble with the keys momentarily as the sudden cold, unyielding hardness of the metal against your skin proves almost startling.
>What in God's name had she done to you?
>You hadn't felt like this while the two of you were sitting and talking with her wrapped around you like a great snake.
>Was this just some final joke she'd decided to play on you? To leave you stumbling home like a doped up madman jumping at every shadow to cross his path?
>Despite the thousand thoughts racing through your head you eventually manage to get your door open, the slight creaking of the hinges sounding like thunder to you as you practically crawl inside and slump down onto the floor, barely remembering to shut the door once again behind you.
>Climbing awkwardly to your feet you limp unceremoniously over to your couch, your coordination almost non-existent as your mind is overloaded with sensation, making even the most basic task near impossible.
>Throwing yourself down onto the cushions you let your head fall back and look up at the ceiling above, the unadorned white plaster now a canvas on which colours dance, mingle and intermix with one another before vanishing on the edge of your vision.
>Slamming your eyes shut you try to focus on nothing.
>You feel like you're going to be sick.
"Enough... Damn it, stop already!"
>>25806656
>In an instant your world snaps back to normality, your senses dulled to their usual acuteness.
>Sighing in relief you stare at the wall opposite you, thankful that compared to a few moments earlier you're now practically blind, your eyes seeing only that which the human eye was designed to see.
>Picking your feet off the ground you slip off your shoes and lie flat on the couch, thoroughly exhausted by your ordeal.
>After a few minutes of blissful silence you recall something Eris had said to you before you'd left.
>"Perhaps next Tuesday then you'd be willing to take little old me out for a date, hmm?"
>Was she serious? With her it was hard to know when she was teasing or actually being genuine.
>Would she have forgotten her remark and be offended if next Tuesday you invited her out somewhere.
>Giving it a little more thought you realise that no, she wasn't one to get offended like others would if the local novelty came to their door and asked them to come out on a date,
>If anything she was more likely to call you 'cute' and pat you on the head like a lost puppy.
>There was no way she was serious.
>Right?
>No way.... Although there was the fact that she'd essentially molested you earlier which is throwing you off slightly.
>>25806662
>God damn, you hate indecision.
>On the one hand she may have been serious, as was evidenced by the fact that she's given you what you've decided to call a tailjob and had always in the past been strangely affectionate and clingy with you.
>You'd previously written this off as her just playing with her favourite toy but now you weren't so sure.
>On the other hand she may have been just leading you on or simply teasing you, as was evidenced by literally everything else she'd ever said or done with you.
>You have to admit you liked her, despite her quirks and new habit of giving you what seemed essentially a mental heroin enema.
>Where would you even take her on a date?
>A restaurant is a terrible idea as you're sure she'd quickly grow bored and decide to make the food come alive or something.
>Would she even care where you took her or would it be more the gesture that she would appreciate?
>>25806669
>You don't get nearly as much sleep as you would have liked that night.
>Even after you'd finally crawled under your warm and welcoming sheets, determined to put all thoughts of the day's events behind you, your mind was still racked with indecision.
>Where could you take a possibly insane demigod who had all the subtle social graces of an angry bison and serious boundary issues?
>Of course you could always just let her decide.
>While it may not be the most imaginative solution it at least guaranteed you'd not end up taking her somewhere she hated, plus it'd show willingness on your part.
>Perhaps that was the best idea.
>You couldn't help but feel you were getting ahead of yourself, after all you hadn't even decided if it was a good idea to ask her out in the first place.
>If you'd had to guess you'd say it was at least two in the morning before you made up your mind to flip a coin once you got home from work later that day.
>Heads you'd ask her, tails you wouldn't.
>The relief that came from having the decision taken out of you hands allowed you to finally drift off to sleep for a few short hours.
>>25806677
>All too soon you're awoken by the ringing of your alarm clock telling you to get up and get to work.
>Swinging your legs out from under the comforting warmth of your bed and setting your feet onto the cool wooden floor, you let out a loud yawn.
>Cracking open your still weary eyes and stretching yielded a few satisfying pops from your joints.
>After shutting off your alarm you take a brief moment to collect your thoughts for the day to come.
>Thursday.
>Today wouldn't be so bad you told yourself as you reluctantly stood up and traipsed your way over to your modest bathroom.
>On Thursdays you were in charge of overseeing the sauna, which mostly meant handing out towels and keeping the coals hot.
>Neither were hard tasks but it did mean a lot of standing around and smiling, which honestly you were in no mood for today, wishing nothing more than to slide back under your beautiful duvet and sleep the morning away.
>Still, only today and tomorrow you told yourself, then you got two whole days to waste however you saw fit.
>Invariably this meant bumming around your house in your underpants until about midday, at which time you most likely decide to actually get dressed and go borrow some more books off of Twilight or something.
>Strange how your plans for your weekends had remained much the same after coming to Equestria as they had done back on Earth.
And that's as far as I got. Sorry for all, and I do mean ALL the grammar mistakes, but I made this up as I went along for a thread a year or two ago while dog tired and fuelled by coffee.
>>25806693
This is good, would love more
>>25804219
Fun fact, female Discord is voiced by Gilbert Godfrey.
>>25804256
Also, this intregues me.
>>25804219
Why is she so perfect, lads?
>>25806693
Agreed with other anon. Please do more, it's excellent.
>>25806693
xDD I love it do more
>>25806693
>anon and eric fic
Hope you continue it, anon
>>25806693
Holy shit, 10/10 writefag.Eris reminds me of Slaanesh
boop
Have some qt eris. Too bad my Eris folder is full of porn.
>>25808972
C-can I get a imgur album of that. For research?
>>25806693
If you leave this been incomplete, you make baby Jesus cry.
I'll just leave this here.
>>25809287
Of what?
>>25809479
The folder, the whole shibang
>>25804219
As a male he fucked Fluttershy, now he turned into a female to fuck me!
>>25809487
Sure, here you go:
https://imgur.com/a/qOPva
>>25809518
Thanks m8
Unf at the human one.
le bumpy bump
Bumping for writefriends return
>>25809518
Thank you, Anon
>>25806693
I may continue this one day, after having gone back and corrected all the existing grammar and spelling mistakes, but I have no idea when or even if I'll get the chance. Work's been crushing me lately and I won't be having a day off until the start of January. I can't remember where I was intending to take the story, so I'll just have to once again make it up as I go and hope it doesn't seem too disjointed.
Where would you even take Eris on a date anyway?
fnord
No, you've got my tounge
>>25804246
smooth
>>25810770
Sugarcube Corner, and she tries to blow it up. Then romantic lewd.
>>25810770
Take her to any high class gig in canterlot.
She would love the opportunity to fuck with the nobles.
Page 1 bump
>>25804219
>Eris is actually just discord messing with you and it's a trap
>tfw no chaos waifu
There needs to be more r34 of Eris. She's so fucking hot.
>>25811464
>eris will never pin you down and get you off in front of all the high class ponies
>>25806568
>9 thumbs up
>>25804219
>Do writefags even name anymore? I wonder if anyone remembers me? is this attentionwhoring warrented? can i be more drunk?
Be anon
>and be speechless with what you are seeing in front of you.
>Eris was sitting back on the bed with a cute half smirk on her face and a unsure, but sincere look in her eyes
>the trail of rose petals from the front door was a nice touch too
>and she's even playing barry white, what a gal
>She put a lot of effort into this, she really cared
>this almost gets you choked up inside
>It all started awhile back after Eris had came frolicing into this demention
>>25814432
Be anon
<and be walking back from your day spent fishing by the lake
>pretty sucessful, got bout half a dozen fish, good enough for a dinner or two
>when suddenly a strange creature slithers out of the bushes and starts walking beside you
>yeah you were a little suspicious, but so far the time in horseland taught you everything is marshmallows and sunshine
>so you kept that knife right in its sheath, whatever this is might be friendly anyway
>it was about half a mile in silence before it spoke up
>or rather SHE spoke up
>"what are you?"
>you got that a lot at first here, but the bluntness made you smile a bit
"human"
>"whats that"
"Somebody that isnt from this world"
>"really? cool, got a name? mine's eris"
>you two talked a good while up until you got to your house at the outskirts of town
>you wished her well and she literally floated off
>interesting gal, a good change of pace from these ponies
>>25806693
I'm loving it. Please continue.
>>25806693
Im begging you desu familia pls continue
>>25814541
Be Eris
>and be trying to regain your bearing after that cross dimentional jump
>naptime might help and so off to a bush for a hearty nap
>waking up to feeling much better you hear something walking along the trail near by
>peeking out you get a good glance
>what is THAT? it looks strange, whyy not say hello
>slithing up to it you notice its demeanor didnt change
>at least it didn't run in fright from you
>you decide to match its stance and pace for awhile, get a good look at it and try and figure out what it is
>walking around a mile-ish maybe you decide to just ask
"what are you?"
>that gets a smile from it, what was funny about that question?
>"human"
>it, or rather HE responds
>what the fuck is a human?
"whats that?"
>Somebody that isn't from this world
>very helpful jackass, but try and humor him, get more of his story
"really? cool. got a name? mine's Eris"
>the two of you talked for a long time and eventually he reached his house
>Quaint looking place
>he had to go, and so you wished him well and off you went to stretch your magic and cause some mayham
>He was a really cool dude, you should visit him more.
>>25814797
Be anon from the first panel agian
>boy the goofy grin on your face from reminicing must be funny
>but its probably best you act before Eris thinks you are laughing internally at her or she gets too nervous
>"Cat got your tounge?" she trys to almost purr out in a seductive tone
>its absolutely adorable
>throwing your hat and coat to the side you begin to apporach the bed
>man had the relationship between you two had blossomed
>>25814884
>remembering all the weekly bar meet ups with her
>remembering how no matter what shenanigans she pulled your house and area stayed un-nuked
>she always seemed to enjoy time around you
>her sense of humor was unmatched and she was definatly more abrasive than the ponies
>you'd sometimes get into disagreements, but things always seemed to work out
>remembering one night after she had a rough week and had drank too much at the bar, confining some of her deeper feelings and anxieties
>and you remember doing the same
>perhaps something more had grown
>>25815177
Be anaon
>and as you move towards bed Eris blushes hard
>as boisterous as she normally is this is pretty bold for her
>but the thought behind this, the effort she put into it.
>from what you told her back home and she remembered
>she cared
>and well, you cared too
>fuck it its friday and you have all weekend off so you might as well
"you"
>"me"
"you really paid attention to what I told you, huh?"
>"I may have picked up a few things"
"what if this was jsut a coincidence"
>"what if it wasnt"
"I guess ill just have to find out"
>her face lights up, and its her turn for a goofy grin
>a snap of her fingers removes your clothes
>a strange sensation, but not that big of a deal
>her tail end flicks a bit in exciement and nervousness
>reaching the end of the bed, the excitement is oo much for her and she springs forward
>giving you a lovbing embrace and a deep passionate kiss
>its a good thing you live outside town
>>25815566
end tale, imean sotry, i mean drunken abortion of words
off to suicide, iman bed. drunkeness takses me
I have a burning desire for Eris to call me kitten and make me meow for her while she rides on my cock
wew lad
page ten
>>25815198
>>25815649
Unf
Why is she so perfect?
Boomp.
>>25818108
Because she gives the best blowjobs.
>>25813317
>>25806693
Pls continue
>>25819666
We'll see, Satan. Not today though, I just got home from a twelve hour shift and am heading straight to bed after I've checked a few things.
Bump.
Eris is my goddamn waifu. Here's another anon x Eris clop one-shot I enjoyed.
http://pastebin.com/TMgShkv1
>>25822096
Fuck you nigger she's mine.
>eris will never call you kitten
time to kill myself
>>25806693
>>25815566
Pls Writefriends, provide more green.
Noooo!
Boop
Bup
>>25806542
Cancer
I need more Eris in my life.
>Eris' vagina is linked to every mare in Ponyville
>When you fuck her, the pleasure is also transferred to each little pony
>Every last house in Ponyville cries out in orgasm as you rock Eris' world
>implying you wouldn't wreck this sexy seductress's non euclidean pussy
>>25827181
w-what cyoa is that image from
>>25827920
it's not
looks like a sketch for https://derpibooru.org/973053
>>25806693
In the last two days I've managed to write a grand total of two small posts worth of green. It seems unlikely that I'll have any significant amount done before this thread hits bump limit and dies, but that's unfortunately just the way things seem to be going at the moment.
I expect this is full of mistakes and will seem obviously written at a much later date than the posts preceding it, but it's this or nothing and hopefully it'll show at least some willingness to continue the story on my part.Expect continuity errors from what I wrote earlier.
>Freshly showered and shaved, the short walk to work is largely uneventful, the most noteworthy occurrence being a brief chat with Roseluck which ended in her booking an appointment with you for the Wednesday of the following week.
>You weren't lying when you'd told Eris that things around Ponyville had gotten dull as of late.
>Not that you missed getting woken up in the early hours of the morning by Twilight and her friends' latest attempts at preventing some disaster or another.
>Taking the last time for example, you could appreciate that it was indeed important to prevent a herd of stampeding monsters from the Everfree from flattening the town, but at the same time was all that shouting really necessary?
>Rainbow's insistence on loudly taunting the poor creatures throughout the encounter was especially infuriating when you knew that you'd have to be at work in a few hours and that you had precious little time left to snatch some shut-eye.
>Didn't these ponies have jobs to go to?
>That is to say that you knew that Applejack worked on an orchard and that Rarity owned a boutique, but considering the apparent lack of time they used to actually spend doing their jobs made you wonder how they made enough bits to say afloat.
>Eris thread
What a surprise
>>25828307
>You bet they were all on benefits.
>Though Rarity had in the past made you the odd item of clothing here and there, Pinkie was the only one of Twilight's friends that your were more than passingly familiar with, given that you often stopped by the bakery for a quick bite to eat on your way home.
>It's not fair that they could afford to be up all night causing a commotion while you and the other hard working inhabitants of the town needed to be in bed by a set time if you were to have any hopes of getting up the following morning.
>You know you're being grumpy, but damn it, it's the principle of the thing!
>You'd very much like to kiss the mystery mare, who you strongly suspected to be Bon-Bon, that was heard shouting for Twilight and her friends to 'go play Power Ponies somewhere else,' but you know she'd probably take offence at the attempt.
I said they were short posts, sorry. I have a vague idea of where I want to take the story now though, so that's good.
>>25828313
so will you finish before we hit the bump limit
>>25828313
>>25828313
>Continuing the apparent theme of the day, your first few hours at work go by in a flash and before you know it you're taking your half-hour lunch break.
>A little tiredness in your arms and hands from the morning massages is to be expected, though over time your body's adapted and you've grown used to it, as it now usually fades entirely by the time you resume work at half-past twelve.
>Heading out the door of the spar, you grab your jacket and bag and decide to head over to the cafe just down the street.
>It's a pleasant enough walk.
>The air is fresh and the sky clear, the sound of hustle and bustle as the town's other inhabitants go about their daily chores washing over you like a wave the instant you stepped out into the street.
>Listening closely, you can even hear the sound of foals laughing and playing in the distance.
>That strikes you as odd, as the schoolhouse is on almost the opposite side of town.
>You suppose the wind must simply be blowing in the right direction and think noting more of it as you continue on your way.
>Drawing close to your destination, you're happy to see that the cafe isn't too crowded and that several of the tables outside are unoccupied.
>That's good, you'd prefer to sit outside.
>Though not as overpowering as it could be, the inside of the spar had a strong scent of perfume and various oils, which, though initially pleasant, can get a little annoying after several hours.
>It sort of reminded you of the twins, Aloe and Lotus.
>Sure they were nice and you got on very well with them, not least because they gave you a job, but damn if they weren't infuriatingly... girly, for lack of a better word.
>>25829644
>The way they gossiped and giggled like a couple of schoolgirls grated on your nerves from time to time.
>Still, it was nice the way they both stood up on their hind legs and kissed you on either cheek the day you came to work on your birthday.
>You snap your mind back to the present as you take a seat at one of the tables and await service.
>It'd be nice to sit outside and enjoy the beautiful any in any case.
>You're not forced to wait long, as no more than a minute or two later a waitress arrives to take your order.
>Deciding on a light lunch consisting of a little something out of the ordinary for you, a spicy mango salad with an accompanying cranberry juice, you pull a book from your bag and lean back in your chair, making yourself comfortable while waiting for your order.
>Your drink arrives quickly and you're no more than a few paragraphs on from where you'd left off the previous day when you're startled by a sudden flash of light, Eris popping into existence seated in the chair opposite you.
>Needless to say, this proved a great shock for the other diners around you, many of whom visibly jumped or otherwise recoiled at the sudden appearance of your companion.
>"You're going out for lunch and you didn't invite me, kitten? I'm going to cry."
>You roll your eyes, thoroughly used to her teasing by now, though slightly surprised she had used her pet-name for you in public.
>Up until now that was something she'd never done before.
"What's the use in inviting somebody who you'll know will turn up if they want to regardless of if they're welcome or not?"
>The draconiquis laughs at that.
>>25829650
>"Are you saying I'm unwelcome, kitten?"
>You mark your page and shut your book before placing it back safely in your bag.
"Of course not. So can I get you anyti-"
>You're interrupted by another much smaller flash of light as your companion conjures herself up a yellow fruity looking punch complete with fancy glass, bendy straw and a little umbrella.
"I guess not then... So are you here just to enjoy my admittedly fantastic company or is there something you needed?"
>Eris waved her eagle clawed hand dismissively and shrugged.
>"Why does everything need a reason? Perhaps I'm here just because."
>Feeling your companion's long, slender tail snake its way over to you and up your leg beneath the table, you take a sip of your drink and attempt to act nonchalant even as the memories of last night's events come racing back to mind.
>Well the jokes on her, you'd worn your belt extra tight today.
>The discomfort and lack of blood getting to your lower extremities was a small price to pay for not being molested in public.
>But... maybe you were being overly suspicious?
>Perhaps wrapping you in her tail was sort of like her way of holding hands.
>Heh, when you put it like that it almost seemed sweet of her.
>Holding hands together while enjoying a day out at a nice cafe on a lovely summer afternoon, it almost seemed like the two of you were on a date.
>Oh crap, the date! You'd totally forgotten.
>Since deciding to flip the coin to decide whether or not to go through with it you hadn't given it a moment's thought.
>>25829660
>Where would you take her if it comes up heads?
>You're suddenly feeling much less relaxed than you had done a few minutes ago.
>"Are you okay, kitten?" Asked Eris, apparently sensing your unease.
>You nod, though you're not entirely sure if you even believe that yourself.
>Perhaps you're worrying over nothing?
>After all the coin could come up tails and then you could go on as normal as if nothing had ever happened.
>Although... part of you wanted to pursue this new opportunity to expand on the relationship the two of you shared.
>Tearing your gaze away from the table in front of you on which you'd been focused, you look back up at Eris and offer a reassuring smile, not wanting her to see your inner turmoil.
>The draconiquis in turn smirks back at you and tightens her tail's grip around your right thigh, though now you're less concerned about this as you're reasonably sure her intentions are benign.
>You quickly prove wrong, however, as a third flash of light once again illuminates the cafe's exterior, revealing your companion now gazing at you with half-lidded eyes and leaning forwards so that she's resting wither her mismatched elbows on the table between you.
>In her hand, hanging from one of her talons, is what is unmistakably your belt.
>Caught off guard, you look down only to have your fears confirmed.
>Your gaze darts back up to your companion just as the waitress from earlier returns with your food.
>"Enjoy your meal, sir, and don't hesitate to call me over if you need anything else."
>The mare smiles at you.
"Oh uh, y-yeah, thanks."
>Choosing this moment to strike, Eris swiftly worms her tail down the front of your trousers and grins at you as you offer your thanks while attempting to appear as if nothing untoward is happening.
>"Well, kitten," she speaks in a husky whisper a few seconds after the waitress leaves, "why don't you purr for me one more time, hmm?"
>>25829668
That's probably it for today. Pastebin for the story so far here http://pastebin.com/X0bq6QP7
Please point out any mistakes you see.
>>25829668
This is bretty good.
>>25829834
agreed
>>25829710
That is the most horrific mlp pic I've seen..more story pls
This episode would be much more shippy if the genders were reversed.
Damn it, somebody write something. Here, have an image to inspire you.
does anyone want to see Eris with Discord's snakey body with breasts and hips? I can't find any images like it
Page 9 bump keeping it alive
I want eris to punch me in the kidney
Question
Would you let Eris bully you?
>>25833531
I'd let her bully me in a sexual way.
>you've been going out with Eris for a few months now
>she tells you that she wants to go with you back to earth for a few days and meet your parents
>she's not going to disguise her appearance at all
what do
>>25829710
It's pretty good, keep it going
>>25834217
"Mom, Dad, I'm dating a goddess from a world of pastel equines that may or may not turn you into cactuses."
Also she'd probably mention every 30 seconds about how she has sex with you to make it awkward."
>>25834217
"Oh hey you're not gay and started dating again. Maybe you will be married by 35."
>>25834549
>"When can we expect grandchildren?"
>>25835032
"Well, considering they're going to look like her more than me, do you really want them?"
>"Anonymous, did you just call me ugly?"
"I didn't call you anything."
>>25834573
T-thanks
>>25834217
>"But son, how can you date her if she's not real?"
>>25829710
Bumping to keep green going
>>25806542
Yes, I would fucking wreck her pussy, mlp or eqg. It doesn't matter.
>you will never have weird human-draconequus children with her
why even live
>>25836840
why indeed
>>25836257
This
>>25829710
Please return soon anon
>>25822670
Fug...
I knew a really qt girl who called her bf kitten
I was jelly as fuck
>>25834217
"At least you're not gay."
>Anon see's Eris
>Immediately move towards a relationship
>No confusion about an unknown species
>No Eris getting wet over realizing how chaotic anon is
FLESH YOUR SHIT OUT FAGGOTS
>>25827919
I want to be chained to a bed with fuzzy handcuffs while Eris uses me for her every whim and desire.
>>25838243
96% of those whims and desires have nothing to do with anything sexual and instead mostly involve deep-sea creatures and tropical fruits, sometimes both
the other 7% appeal to some random fetish mostly unintentionally
are you sure you want this?
>>25838277
I can live with that.
Something adding up to 103% sounds like her.
>>25838305
Best of luck then fella, you'll need it to tame this pile of crazy.
And btw, she's an awful cook, as she doesn't believe in recipes. You'd best learn to cook yourself or there'll be flakes of random metals and the shed skins of assorted insects in your meals.
>>25838344
I'd do my absolute best. I'd never want to see her sad. As long as she would stop me from dying if I say, ate some arsenic she accidentally put in food or whatever, I'd try and keep up with her.
>>25838373
Oh no, she would neeeeeeever hurt another living thing! She's "reformed" now.
And it would certainly be hard to keep up with her, seeing as she can be anywhere she wants in an instant and back again the next holding souvenir shot glasses from wherever her split second vacation took her.
Fair warning, she doesn't believe in property either. She sees everything as hers, and what's hers is everybody else's. So she'll be using your toothbrush. Often. For things toothbrushes shouldn't be used for. Like dicing onions. Or picking locks. Toothbrushes are actually very useful tools once you stop caring that they're supposed to be used to brush teeth.
>>25838438
She's too cute to say no to.
>>25838438
>>doesn't believe in property
>keep that up and you'll end up on outside on the streets
>>25838438
I feel like you are trying to turn other people off so you can keep her for yourself you awful human being.
>>25838438
>Toothbrushes are actually very useful tools once you stop caring that they're supposed to be used to brush teeth.
Please. Tell me more.
>>25838438
>"DELETE THIS"
>>25838642
They may try, but it would never work. For all the hours I'd spend trying to find my way to the bathroom which moves every five minutes, for all the times I'd have to take star fish out of my shoes before putting them on, for all the times she'd replace all the pictures of my friends and family with framed images of the Secretary of Defense of Argentina, there'd be at least one time where she would just want to curl up next to you (or around you) and lie in your embrace.
And it would be totally worth it.
>>25838707
I am fully erect right now you have no idea
>>25839068
Yeah, while big porn-esque scenarios do turn me on, some of my favorite greens are just little ones about lazy Sunday mornings laying in bed together, neither wanting to leave the other's side.
Eris seems like under that cold enigma of a shell, she would throw herself on you and say, "hold me!" If she truly thought you were drifting away from her.
>>25829668
>You take a sidelong glance at the couple seated at the table a little off to your left, hoping to hell that they haven't caught onto what's happening.
>"So," begins Eris, taking a long sip of her drink before continuing, "how are you feeling?"
>You shift position in your chair slightly, hoping to obscure the view of the draconiquis' tail that the pair you'd been looking at would otherwise have had.
"Oh, I'm pretty sure you know exactly what I'm feeling right about now."
>Eris grins at you, showing off her signature lone fang.
>"Why don't you humour me and tell me how you've been feeling since last night specifically?"
>So she was asking if you'd had any weird side effects from whatever the hell it was she'd done to you when she touched your forehead?
>That wasn't exactly reassuring.
>What if she'd scrambled your brain in some way without knowing?
>You stifle a gasp as your companion's tail continues its wicked work beneath the table.
"A-Aside from some dizziness and nausea on my way home... and stuff sounding weirdly loud now and then, I feel pretty normal."
>"Oh?"
>You lean forwards, trying to cover as much of your lower half as possible from view as the waitress from before trots passed to deliver a couple of coffees to the adjacent table.
"I keep getting these brief spells where everything seems too vivid and bright, almost over saturated. They seem to pass quickly though if I take a deep breath and close my eyes for a second.
>"I see."
>>25839908
>You'd long since given up trying to fight the sensations caused by Eris' prehensile appendage as it toyed with you.
>You knew it was no use to resist and that she'd always get her way whether you wanted it or not.
>She was like a force of nature when she wanted to be, and attempting to keep her from getting her way was as futile as swimming against a riptide.
>Better to just give in and let her have her fun.
>Not that you weren't enjoying yourself too, despite your better judgement.
"What was it that you did to me anyway? It felt like you set my blood on fire or something."
>Eris gave a small shrug before fixing you with a mischievous grin.
>"All in good time, Kitten. For now, I really must be leaving."
"But-"
>"Ta-ta!"
>As quickly as she'd appeared she was gone in yet another flash of light, leaving you alone and with an uncomfortably throbbing problem that needed taking care of.
>Grunting in frustration, you look at your watch and discover that you only had about ten minutes of your break left.
>Not enough time slip off somewhere quiet to deal the pressing matter in the forefront of your mind.
>Damn it, looks like you'll just have to spend the rest of the day feeling pent up and unsatisfied.
>Adding insult to injury, you suddenly remember that Eris still had your belt.
>Why did she always have to mess with you like this?
I sort of felt like writing a brief, non-canon side story where Anon pulls the waitress aside and really makes her work for her tipby working his tip,but like him, my lunch break is over and I have to go.
>>25839930
>Anon pulls the waitress aside and really makes her work for her tip
Somebody please do this. She's either a hardworking single mother that could really use the cash or else a feisty young mare tryng to pay her word through college
>>25839930
>Adding insult to injury, you suddenly remember that Eris still had your belt.
Shit, depending how loose his pants are that might be worse than leaving him with a boner.
>>25841055
HARD
AS
DIAMONDS
>>25841111
>>25841155
"So...what do I do now?"
>"Well Anon, you can do two things: You can walk out my door behind you right now, and it will simply drop you off at home, in your bed, and you'll be left wondering whether or not this was all a dream."
>You look behind you.
>"BUT, if you take a bite of my golden apple, I'll show you an entire world you never thought possible."
>>25841055
>>25841111
>>25841155
These dubs and quints confirm Eris is best dragonequus.
>>25841155
I would eat the fuck out of Eris' apple.
>>25841052
Anon walks back to work through the busy streets with his pants around his ankles and a raging erection threatening to pierce the heavens.
"The fuck ya'll lookin' at? You niggers walk around naked all the damn time!"
>A mare's jaw drops and she quickly clamps a hoof over her young filly's eyes and ushers them away.
"Yeah that's right, walk away!"
>>25804219
>Eris steals your tongue
>You wake up with an empty mouth
>Can't talk
>You can still feel your tongue
>Tastes like tuna...
>Eris greets you in the morning
>"Morning Nonny."
"Hnaaa."
>"Oh right! I'd better give you this back." she giggles
>She presents her weird cloaca and pulls a pink muscle out of it
>She stuffs it into your mouth and it attaches to your throat
"What the hell was that?!" you shout
>"Sorry, Nonny, I was lonely last night and thought you'd enjoy it too." she gives you a sad puppydog face
"Damnit. I can't be mad at you."
>>25839930
Please come back it is getting so boring in the hospital all by myself
>>25841496
>tuna
>cloaca
could have been good but instead was trash
>>25841539
To you, maybe
I liked it
>>25841539
this desu
still though, now I want Eris to remove my tongue and shove it up her vagina
I like to think eris would rub it in celestia's face how she has a boyfriend and celestia doesnt
>>25841891
>Anon brigs Eris to the gala
>Eris spends the whole time making fun of Celestia and Luna for being 1000 year old virgins
>>25841944
>"He fucked me in the ass too!"
Eris, please, you're gonna get me sent to the moon.
>>25842076
That made me laugh
If i wasnt on mobile i would have a proper image
>>25842076
>"He didn't ask permission or anything, he just shoved it right in there!"
"Miss Eris, this really isn't the time or place to-"
>"That's part of what I love about him, you know? He's just so forceful and dominant in bed. A REAL man."
"Miss, please, this is a formal event and you're disturbing-"
>"But you know something else? I kinda liked it, so I didn't stop him. He just knows me so well and presses all my buttons just right!"
>Meanwhile Anon is totally oblivious to the ongoing conversation as he stands some distance away at the buffet table stuffing his face with those little sausages and pineapple cheese things on sticks.
>>25842280
>"Now, on to how he eats me out!"
>Anon sips his punch and stuff more cocktail wieners in his mouth.
What are these? A kind of Equestria Vienna Sausage? I like 'em.
>"--that's when he hits my clit and I just explode!"
Yeah, a little sauce would be nice with these.
![latest[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/gqCKeil.jpg "latest[1].jpg")
>>25842280
>>25842373
more
>>25842373
Anon is the hero we all wished we were.
Also, just thought I'd leave this here: http://pastebin.com/S8MTLTjJ
>>25842373
>Anon finally notices the disapproving stares he's receiving from several of the noble ponies and foreign dignitaries.
"What, is there a limit to the number of canapés you can have? Sorry, I didn't know."
>An elderly mare stood with her husband turns her nose up in disdain.
>"When I was young, we saved THAT sort of thing for marriage, young man."
>Anon looks down at the Vol-au-vent in his hand, thoroughly confused.
>Who knew there were certain foods in Equestria that only married couples were supposed to eat?
>Meanwhile Eris had now wrapped an arm around Celestia's neck, effectively trapping the increasingly uncomfortable Alicorn who looks for all the word to be wishing she was somewhere else.
>"Of course Anon loves when I return the favour too, but then that's not surprising seeing as I have a foot long prehensile tongue that I can tie a knot in a cherry stem with. Some nights he'll look over at me while we're in bed and say 'Hey, how about a little something to help me sleep?' Which of course I'm happy to provide."
>>25841722
>You're with Eris at a nice cafe.
>She's taken a liking to the thought of you being her boytoy.
>She's even on her best behavior right now.
>She hasn't turned any of the waiters into walking lamp posts.
>She hasn't set fire to the glasses of water on all the tables.
>That's because the entierty of her focus is on you.
>Most recently, she's really taken a liking to doing things to you that are rather...uh...unorthodox.
>Using her magical powers of chaos, she's found a way to detach your dick, but still keep it just as sensitive to you.
>For the most part, she likes to tease you.
>She'll keep it locked in a box for days at a time, perhaps open it every couple of hours or so and give it a quick kiss.
>You'll REALLY want to jerk one out, but alas, your dick is in another castle and you have the anatomy of a Ken doll.
>Sometimes, you'll be working for Book Hoarse at the castle library, when all of a sudden Eris decides it's playtime.
>Believe it or not it's very hard to pay attention to the Pony Decimal System when your dick is being used as a dragonequus' plaything 2 miles down the road.
>But now, she REALLY has all the cards.
>She invited you out to brunch, and as you've gone through the day with her, you just had a feeling she was going to do something, you just didn't know what.
>>25842736
>>25842663
This is good mang
>>25842663
>>25842736
oh bby
Eris was stolen by waifu stealer Butterscotch.
>>25842999
guaranteed replies
>>25842999
Not this time
>>25842663
moar
>>25842736
moar
Moar give us moar give us moar!
>>25842736
>You took a sip of your coffee.
>It wasn't the same as what you used to drink back home, but it was nice.
>Eris however hadn't even touched her cup.
>What she has been doing for the last fifteen minutes though is give you a sultry grin.
"Eris, you haven't drank any of your coffee yet, is something wrong?"
>She shrugs.
>"Oh, I don't like my coffee black, I just think it needs a little...cream."
"Well, I can ask the waiter for some the next time he comes around."
>"No need to worry about that Anon."
>She materialized a purse out of nowhere and began rumaging around.
>You coincidentally felt a sensation where your dick should be.
>"I've got all the cream I'll need right here."
>>25843486
>mfw
wut
Green was delivered, but at what cost? Free. Free was the cost.
>>25844255
Nice dubs
>>25844255
What the fuck are you on anon
>>25844455
Look at the dub numbers, now to your number, then back to mine. Do you see the magic?
>>25843486
>A smile spread across her face as she grabbed something in the bag.
>"Got it!"
>Yep, that was your dick.
>She pulled her arm out of the bag, revealing a small, roughly phallic shaped cylindrical flask.
>You felt handjob, but you didn't see handjob.
>Dafuq is up?
>She must have noticed your confusion.
>"Wondering where your little friend is?"
>She gave a firm squeeze and a peck on the tip.
>Yep, that was your dick.
>"As much as I would love to see all these ponies run at the sight of your 100% all-beef thermometer, I think I'm going to go a little more discreetly here, and let you take center stage."
>She brought it close to her mouth, and began to wrap her long, snake-like tougue around it, before pulling away and givng you a most evil grin.
>"Besides, this way I can make you squirm and watch it as well."
>Oh boy.
>herewego.jpg
>>25844681
>>25844681
MORE DAMMIT
>>25844519
I feel it
Neat, an Eris thread. Posting an old short.
>After another day hard at work, you've come home to relax and let your stress wash away
>Your plans are just you, a steaming hot cup of coffee, and a nice view of the countryside
>At least that's what you keep telling yourself
>You don't know why you keep trying, really
>Without fail, Eris always invites herself in and drives you to distraction
>Locks that can resist chaos magic don't seem to be coming any time soon
>It's not that you mind, you just wish she let you have a few minutes to unwind after work first
>The coffee doesn't even finish before she barges in and makes herself at home
>There's never a dull moment with her around, you can say that much for her
>Plus it's nice to have someone here that shared your sense of humour
>The ponies are friendly enough but their only setting is sunshine and rainbows
>Not Eris, though
>When you first saw her start popping up around you -- sometimes literally --, you thought she was just another gawker
>One of the many who flocked to see the weird alien thing while it was still topical
>Albeit the only one who looked as out of place as you
>Once you started talking to her it was surprising how much more you had in common
>She was witty, sarcastic, always ready to trade insults for a laugh, and had a refreshingly blunt personality
>It was surprisingly theraputic having someone to ruthlessly make fun of the ridiculousness of this place with you
>Having her around in the early days of being here probably helped keep your sanity
>Not that you'd ever tell her that
>That would give her way too much ammo against you
>The delicious aroma of coffee fills the air as you finish brewing it
>You could practically sense Eris's anticipation, despite only hearing and not seeing her since you got home
>Occasional thuds from whatever she was doing to occupy herself made sure that you knew she was there
>She never could stand being ignored
"Coffee's done!" you shout across the house
>>25846566
>You look over, and sure enough, there was Eris peeking her head around the doorway with a fanged, toothy grin
>"Coffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffee," she chants gleefuly as she slithers through the air
>Landing on the kitchen floor, she stares like a predator waiting to strike as you pour the first cup
>The instant it was full it's snatched from your hands
>You were long past trying to hold on to that one
>Slurping victoriously, Eris strolls back into the living room, and you follow shortly after with your own cup
>The two of you sit on your worn out second-hand couch in the same spots you always do
>Sometimes you like to rib her about all the consistent habits she has as a supposed avatar of chaos
>It usually gets you punched, but it's totally worth it
"Y'know, I don't get why you insist on stealing my coffee when you could just snap your fingers and make your own."
>She looks at you like the answer is incredibly obvious
>"Because it doesn't taste as good. Duh."
>That gets an eyeroll out of you
"So you have god-like cosmic powers, but you can't make a good cup of coffee?"
>"Yup."
>All you can do is shake your head and drink in silence
>Eris wasn't one for silence so she starts chatting about her day
>She manages to do it while drinking at the exact same time, but that's Eris for you
>Considering she can go wherever and do whatever she wants, her days are pretty entertaining to hear about
>The highlights today were wrestling and then riding a dragon, and causing a mudslide made of chocolate right by a village
>The foals loved it, but the parents were super pissed
>That managed to spark a debate between you about whether chocolate mudslides or icing sugar avalanches were better that went way longer than it should have
>After her crushing defeat by your clearly superior logic, she changes the subject
>"Hey Anon, have you thought any more about the attraction thing?"
>>25846583
>Of all the things to talk about, of course Eris picks this one
>A few weeks ago you were talking and the topic turned to relationships
>During which you mentioned that since you were only attracted to your own species you were now destined to be forever alone
>Apparently Eris didn't approve, so she had taken to trying to change your mind
>For the past few weeks she's been taking every opportunity to give dirty descriptions of mares
>Sometimes there were visual aids
>You hated to admit it, but it was starting to work
>It had been a while since you got here, and even longer since you'd gotten any action
>With Eris putting those thoughts in your head you've found your eyes starting to wander places you never thought you'd be looking
>You've even caught yourself looking at Eris a few times, but forced yourself to stop whenever you did
>Don't want to make things complicated between you and your only real friend here
>Plus the ribbing would be endless
>In the end it was easier to ignore any emerging inter-species attraction
"Ehh, not really."
>"C'mon, Anon, you can admit to staring at some choice flank to little ol' me."
>That makes you flush a little, partially because of how close to the mark it was
"You're such a fucking pervert, Eris."
>She has that grin on her face now, the one that somehow combined cheeky and lewd into one expression
>"I don't hear you deny it."
>Her smug sing-song voice was simultaneously endearing and incredibly annoying
"Why are you so obsessed with this, anyway?"
>Looking uncharacteristically serious she turns to face you
>"I don't like to see you hurting yourself with stupid, pointless limitations"
>You raise an eyebrow at that
"Hurting myself? I feel fine."
>She keeps a steady, serious gaze, longer than you've ever seen her be serious before
>"Are you? Because it seems to me like you're forcing yourself to be lonely when you don't have to be."
>Your mouth opens to respond, but nothing comes out
>What can you even say to that?
>>25846600
>Draining the last of your coffee just for something to do, you idly turn the cup in your hands
>"Oh, I almost forgot! I have a surprise for you."
>And there's Eris to save the conversation like you knew she would
>It brings a little smile to your face knowing you can rely on her quirks like that
"I hope it's not as surprising as the time you thought it would be a great idea to infest my house with weasels. Never should have taught you that fucking nursery rhyme."
>She giggles and stands up, putting her hands on her hips and grinning down at you
>"It might be. Now close your eyes and don't open them until I say."
>Bracing yourself for whatever ridiculousness she's come up with, you comply and close your eyes.
>A snap of her claws and a loud pop signals her magic being used
>"Hm, it's missing something... Ah ha!"
>Another snap and pop go off
"Are you done yet?"
>"Jeez you're impatient. Yeah, I'm done. Go ahead and open your eyes."
>When you open your eyes, Eris is standing in front of you, posing as she shouts "Ta da!"
>She's put on a French maid outfit, of all things
>There's even a feather duster in her claw
>The image of her posing in that cute little uniform goes straight to your dick
>It occurs to you that you probably shouldn't have told her how much those outfits get to you
>You feel your pants getting tighter as you struggle to form words
"Eris, what the fuck?"
>"Do you like it? I think it looks good on me."
>Emphasising her statement with a quick twirl, she shoots you a sultry grin
>The spin lifted her skirt just enough to show a glimpse of lacy black panties
>You have to adjust yourself so you're not bulging because you are uncomfortably turned on right now
>Why she's teasing you so hard all of a sudden, you don't know, but you aren't sure how much more you can take
>She struts over to you and leans in enticingly
>"Oh, Anon, you are a dirty boy."
>Slowly she brushes the feather duster up your chest
>"Come on, dirty boy, let's get you cleaned up."
>>25846620
>You can't help but burst into laughter
"Are we in a porno or something?" You stop to chuckle again. "Wow, those lines were cheesy."
>A blush lights up her face and all her confidence saps away
>She's frozen in her position leaning over you as she scrambles to recover
>"Ah, um, I mean-"
>It's not often you see her flustered, but it's always cute
>With that outfit still on her it's also kind of sexy
>Your erection was not going away, and you needed to make your escape before you did something awkward
"Alright, I admit it, you got me with that one. Very funny. Now scoot over so I can get some more coffee."
>A look came over her face that you couldn't read at all
>Nudging her over was unusually easy this time, she usually likes to put up a fight to make your life difficult
>She was unresponsive in general, staring at the coffee table in front of her
>You weren't sure what was up with her, but you did know that coffee always improves things
>Quickly grabbing refills for the both of you, you put her cup down in front of her and take your seat again
>Eris isn't touching her drink at all and just watches the steam rise from it
>Even more worrying was the noticeable silence she was allowing to continue
"Okay, what's wrong?"
>Hearing your voice snapped her out of her thoughts and back to the real world
>"Hmm, what? Oh. Nothing's wrong."
>She stands up swiftly and takes a few steps away from you
>"I'm gonna go now. Things to see, places to do, you know how it is."
>Forcing a smile she raises her hand to snap her claw and magic herself away
>Faster than you thought you could move, you dart forward and grab her wrist
"No. I don't want to hear that bullshit. Tell me what's wrong."
>A growl escapes her and she attempts to pull her arm back
>"Nothing. Let go, Anon."
"Don't lie to me, Eris. I'm not stupid."
>Annoyance bleeds into your voice at her stubborn attitude
>She outright snarls this time
>"It doesn't matter. You'd just laugh at me again, anyway."
>>25846638
>Her being mad at you was not what you'd expected, especially for something like that
>Sure, you laughed when her little act slipped, but you thought she was only messing with you
>You look her firmly in the eyes
"Eris, what aren't you telling me?"
>She bites her lip and looks away
>"Forget it. You wouldn't..."
>You've never seen her this hesitant before and it's starting to worry you
"I wouldn't what?"
>So quietly you almost can't hear it, she answers with obvious reluctance
>"You wouldn't feel the same way."
>Once the context of that clicked in your head, your eyes went wide
>Suddenly her dressing up in a skimpy outfit for you made a lot more sense
"I didn't- I don't-"
>She gives you a small, sad smile
>"It's okay. I know the inter-species thing is weird for you. I got impatient and did something stupid. Like always."
>In that talk about relationships you had a few weeks ago, she'd told you how hard it was for her
>Not many in this happy technicolour land could handle her brash, chaotic personality
>It was difficult for her to even make friends let alone have a relationship
>This left her a lot of doubt in herself, which was apparent right now
>You standing there paralysed while you try to figure out how you feel about this probably wasn't helping her confidence either
>If you were honest you had to admit that being with Eris had its appeal
>Her playful demeanor and passionate enthusiasm were things you love to have in a girlfriend
>The different species thing was still awkward for you, though
>Even if your dick disagrees
>Also you didn't want to lose her as a friend if the relationship didn't work out
>You don't know if you could handle losing one of the few people that made you genuinely happy
>That thought stops you in your tracks
>It hadn't occured to you before just how much she meant to you
>A relationship now was simultaneously more appealing and more worrying
>>25846652
>You can't help but voice your concern
"Eris, what about our friendship? I mean, I wouldn't want to lose it because of a relationship not working out."
>She scoffs at that
>"You really think you can get rid of me that easy? You're stuck with me, Anon."
>There's a bit of hurt in her eyes as she thinks that you've made up your mind, but she still sticks out her tongue playfully
>"Besides, where would you be without me? I'm the best thing that's ever happened to you."
>It's said as a joke, but the more you think about it the more you realise she's right
>Maybe it's time you take a lesson from Eris and simply do something because you want to do it, and not get hung up on the consequences
"Hey, Eris?"
>"Yeah, wha-"
>Quickly you grab her chin and mash your lips against hers, causing her to tense up in shock
>It doesn't take long for her to melt into the kiss, meeting you with equal passion
>The feeling of kissing a muzzle is a bit odd, but you don't mind because it's Eris
>After a long moment you finally pull away for air
"You look incredibly fucking hot in that dress."
>She'd forgotten to take it off, but you weren't complaining
>Giving you a cocky smirk she smooths the front of it down
>"I know. I look good in anything."
>Well it didn't take her very long to get over the surprise
>"Hey, Anon. You need to take me out on a date."
>You smile and nod
"Definitely."
>She walks over to the front door, and it takes you a second to figure out what that means
"Wait, you mean right now?"
>Her smile is wide even as she shrugs casually
>"Sure, why not?"
>And right now, you can't think of a single reason not to
Paste: http://pastebin.com/RjffAULJ
Based off this picture >>25838277 I saw it way back and just had to write something about it.
Let me know what you thought. I feel like it could be better, but I'm not quite sure how.
>>25846694
Its pretty good anon
>>25805146
More like you spot your tongue waggling from between her legs.
>>25846694
It was a sweet story
I liked it
>>25844681
Pls return writefag
>>25844681
>She looked at you and gave you a wink.
>"Sometimes, you need to give it a little 'motivation' to get the cream out."
>And with that, she took the entire thing and began to slowly suck on it, as if it was a lollypop.
>You on the other hand were gripping the chair you were in with your vice like hands.
>She slowly pulled it out of her mouth, making a loud 'pop' as it exited her lips.
>"Sometimes you need to shake it a bit, move the contents around inside."
>She began to shake it like a whipped cream can, but loose fingered.
>It was like the fastest handjob you've ever recieved.
>In a state of bliss, you put your head down on the table.
"Erissss..."
>She heard your trailing off, and smiled even more.
>"Sometimes, you have to give a little 'motivation' at the source."
>Under the table, you could feel the furred end of her tail brushing against your ankle, before she slowly slithered it up your pantleg, slowly stroking it back and forth against your thigh.
>You could die now and you'd have a smile on your face.
>>25847637
your back and you brought more lewd with ypu
>>25847637
>"And sometimes...just sometimes...you need to warm it up yourself."
>You raised your head to look at Eris.
>"Please, be merciful. We can go back to your place and-"
>She reached across the table, and silenced your lips with a finger.
>"No."
>Taking your package, she slowly reached down between her legs, which were hidden under the table and tablecloth, where you suddenly felt Anon Jr. get very, very warm.
"Oh god."
>Eris' walls felt like pure velvet on your dick.
>She looked at you with a mixture of satisfaction and glee, she seemed to be enjoying this as well.
>She began to pump faster, and faster, you could feel yourself getting close.
"Erisss, I'm gonna..."
>You couldn't complete the sentence, but Eris knew what you meant.
>"Aah, I believe I've just about coaxed the cream out of this container."
>Goddammit how was no one hearing ANY of this.
>With a loud 'schlick,' Eris brought your tool out from under the table, and up to her face.
>If you were any more on edge, you'd be a teenager making Holocaust jokes to Elie Wiesel while wearing a Guy Fawkes mask.
>>25848098
>"And above all else, sometimes all it needs is a little motivation."
>She firmly planted her lips on your rod, pulling away with a loud "Mwaw!"
>That was it.
>You fell over onto the ground and went stiff as a board as Eris pointed your dick into the coffee pot, making sure not a single drop of your 'cream' missed.
>When you seem finished, she brought it towards her lips, licking off the remainder.
>After what seemed like an eternity on the ground, you felt a hoof poking into your side.
>"Anon? Are you ok?"
>It was Sparklebutt.
>You sat up and nodded, getting back into your chair.
>"The girls and I were over there having lunch, and we saw you freak out, I wanted to be sure you were ok."
>Eris finished stirring the coffee pot, pouring herself a cup and taking a sip.
>"Oh hellow Twilight, Anon was just telling me how he used to suffer from terrible spasms as a child, and wanted to give me a demonstration. And you know I can never pass up a good show."
>"Ohhhkay?" She didn't seem sure that was the case, but also wasn't sure she wanted to know the reality.
>"He also brought his absolutely wonderful special brew of coffee for us to share, but brought way more then the two of us need. Why don't you and the girls share it?"
>She stuck the pot under Twilight's nose, who after taking a whiff, smiled.
>"This smells wonderful, I bet it tastes just as great, thanks Anon!"
>And with that, Twalot took the pot in her magic and trotted back over to her friends.
>Finally getting a sense of the situation, you looked at Eris.
"Did you just give her coffee filled with my cum?"
>"Oh Anon, you truly are the gift that keeps on giving."
>>25848114
>Later that evening, you and Eris were curled up on a couch in her castle, Eris streched out on your lap reading aloud while you rubbed her back.
>"And with her sister banished to the moon, a 20 year famine swept over the kingdom, partially due to Celestia's inexperience with raising the moon, affecting tides and crops, but also with her sadness, the government began to crumble, crime was rampant over the kingdom, and trade stopped between the villages."
>Eris closed the book and wiped a tear from her eyes.
>"I do so love happy endings."
>As she coiled around you like a serpent and gave you a kiss, she pulled herself close and whispered in your ear.
>"I hope you enjoyed today, as it's going to get even better tonight."
>Before you could ask her what she ment, you felt the sudden shock of you dick once again being shoved somewhere wet and warm.
"WO-ah, Eris, what are you doing, where's my dick?"
>"Me? I did nothing, and I surely don't know where Little Anon is now."
>You knew that was bullshit, and let your expression reply for you.
>"Buuuuuut, I might of just turned your cream cannister dick into a regular dick while we were still at the cafe...and a certain mare may have just seen it before I put it back in my bag...and I may have just let this local mare borrow you for tonight...not that she knows it's, well, you."
"Who?"
>"Oh, you know that mare, mint green, harp player, infaturated with humans, hosts swinger parties with her mare-friend every Friday at 8:00PM sharp."
>You both looked at her clock on the wall, which had just finished ringing eight times.
>"Oh Anon, you look so cute when your hips are involuntarily thrusting!"
FIN
>>25848291
Well. That was my first time writing lewd. Didn't think it would be about detachable dicks and coffee.
>>25848347
You get use to it.
>>25848347
Good job anon you kept my dick hard as diamonds throughout that whole thing
>>25848499
Thanks Anon, I can tell my GF I've at least pleasured 1 person sexually in my life besides me.
Goodnight Eris thread
I want Eris to bully me.Sexually
Also, more green, please.
Bumping in hopes of green
Moar green pls
>>25839930
Sorry for anybody reading this, but I've been called in to do some more overtime over the next couple of days so it's unlikely I'll get any writing done. Apologies, I just can't resist the allure of double pay.
>>25850740
noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Someone! Do the writefag summoning ritual!
I can write a story! But I suck at writing hooman, so anon no gud. I've also never wrote in the way of the green.
>>25850874
if teh people want, I can replace other writefag for a few days
The silence says maybe?
The silence says its time for bumps and content if there is any.
>>25851629
Do or don't, but you have to give something to go by to start with.
