[you awaken with a start, standing in an unfamiliar room]
[you are standing on a PENTAGRAM drawn in what looks like ashes, surrounded by five candles]
[before you is a pony wearing some sort of cloak. She looks surprised]
>>25776693
I didn't know I was a demon.
Point at her and ominously ask why she has summoned me
Do we have anything in our pockets? Is this a proper summoning circle or did the sorcerer cut some corners. If they're worth their salt there's some sort of mandala or whatever charged with magic preventing us from leaving the summoning circle.
If not, attempt to exit the circle.
>>25776706
Deep voice w/ Middle English language is nessesary.
>>25776706
>>25776718
>why have you summoned me so rudely from my slumber, mortal?
>>25776693
WHERE THE HELL ARE MY GOD DAMN CLOTHES?
I WAS EATING A TURKEY SUB
THIS IS MY ONLY HOUR BREAK ALL WEEK
WHAT THE FUCK, HORSE?
>>25776693
How does the pony looks like?
>>25776706
>>25776718
>>25776742
[you point a finger at the pony and ask why you were summoned from your eternal slumber]
>"I don't know why you're here, I was TRYING to summon a demon, not some bald headed gumbi monkey"
[the pony begins to flip through a book at her hooves and ignores you]
>>25776765
Flip her the bird and kick this purple cunt in the face
>>25776765
Step out of the circle, and start reading over her shoulder.
>>25776765
look around room and check inventory while she's distracted. also try and leave the circle so she cant de-summon us before we can cause any hassle
>>25776765
Let's use logic. Point out to the pony that clearly, if we were summoned in a demon-summoning ritual, we're a demon. I mean, come on. That's simple math.
Ask the pony what sort of DEMON STUFF it wants accomplished.
F R E S H M E A T
>>25776765
>And who says I'm not a demon?
>>25776765
Become the edgy demon
Grow the horns
>>25776765
I am a demon. A semen demon.
>>25776799
Rolling for anal circumference.
>>25776765
Eat the pony we are the demon she seeks
>>25776807
Let's go.
>>25776715
[you examine the PENTAGRAM]
[as far as you can tell, all it is is ash and candles. You can see a small gap in one part of the outer circle]
>>25776746
[you check your INVENTORY]
[currently you are carrying nothing]
>>25776761
[the pony is a light purple with a darker purple mane. She is wearing a dark cloak with a spooky brooch]
>>25776765
You ARE the demon! You weird little horse.
>>25776845
Pose dramatically!
>>25776845
Look for an exit to this room.
>>25776845
Creep up on her and lean right in. Ask what she's doing right in her ear.
>>25776845
Rape the horse
>>25776845
take horse cloak
>>25776845
Use your demon powers to make the book disappear.
>>25776845
>You can see a small gap in one part of the outer circle
ALAS
THE CIRCLE IS INCOMPLETE
ESCAPE
>>25776845
walk over, read over shoulder, >i said hey, whats goin on
>>25776845
Boop her nose to get her attention
>>25776845
Exit circle through gap. Attempt to rape pony.
>>25776845
Tell pony that she succeeded in summoning ritual and you are here to do her bidding.
At the same time slowly try make a step out of the PENTAGRAM.
>do the mario!
>>25776867
YEAH
>>25776771
>>25776781
>>25776855
>>25776864
>>25776867
>>25776870
[out of the pony's mind completely, you easily step out of the circle and creep behind her unnoticed]
[you boop her on the nose and ask what's up]
[the pony screams]
>>25776782
>>25776786
>>25776794
>>25776799
>>25776828
>>25776863
[you are not, nor have you ever been, a demon]
>>25776807
>>25776844
[your anal aperture is the same is it's ever been]
>>25776928
Geez, keep it down lady.
>>25776928
Oh no! We scared the little pony!
Hug her and pet her mane till she calms down.
>>25776928
scream with the pony cos it seems to be what everyone is doing right now
>>25776928
cast boop
>>25776928
Grab her horn and jerk it off
>>25776928
Call it cute
>>25776928
Step out of PONY'S PERSONAL SPACE.
We are exhibiting poor respect for pony's PERSONAL SPACE.
>>25776928
Hug the pony. Say they're kind of cute.
>>25776693
Consume her soul.
>>25776928
>rape
>>25776928
Damn she's cute
Tell her that
Make herblush
>>25776928
"Gee, I knew humaninty was fucked up, but fucked up enough for us to be considerd demons? thats a new one."
>>25776949
If you step away she's gonna blast yo ass with that horn nigga.
>>25776928
Start randomly pointing at the book saying, "well there's your problem!"
When asked to tell her what that problem is, tell her she's using an outdated edition of the book, and that all of the demons have changed their ethereal location since.
>>25776979
this is a good one
>>25776940
>>25776948
>>25776950
>>25776959
[the pony continues to scream]
[you being to hug her and pet her]
[the pony continues to scream, but a little less loud]
[you call the pony cute]
[the pony is still screaming, but quieter]
>>25776987
deploy tactical ear scratches
>>25776987hail hydra
>>25776987
She's screaming too much, cover her mouth and continue to pet
>>25776987
We should do this. >>25776979
>>25776987
Take the cloak off her and proceed with advanced scratching.
>>25776987
Give her a belly rub then when she least suspects it: pucker your lips, place them against her stomach, and blow with all your might.
>>25776987
Put something in pony to stop the screaming
>>25776987
Ask her why she is trying to summon a demon while ruffling her mane
>>25776991
>>25777002
>>25777008
>>25777011
Then tell her that it will bring you great joy once you finish enslaving her kind and thank her for summoning you so you could do so.
>>25776987
[MAXIMUM PETTING]
>>25777034
kek
>>25776987
Shoosh pat her into moirallegiance.
aw ye
>>25776987
Give her a kiss.
>>25776987
Whisper gently into her ear, "I bet you have the most delicious marrow."
>>25776991
>>25777008
>>25777011
>>25777025
>>25777035
[you remove the spooky cloak, then being scratching her ears and rubbing her belly]
[the pony is still screaming, but at a very low volume and with not much vigor. She looks like she could fall asleep at any second]
>>25776979
>>25776986
>>25777006
[before you cuddle the pony into oblivion, you point somewhere on the open book and tell her that's her problem, and that her book is outdated and all demons have changed locations on their plane of existence]
>SPEECH CHECK- applies to the first replies to this post with 'roll' in them. If the last digits of the post numbers total to 9 or higher, you succeed. Anything lower will fail the check.
>>25777110
Gimme the memes
>>25777110
roll
>>25777110
roll
>>25777110
roll
>>25777110
>last digits
Specify how many digits
>>25777110
We would never lie to a pony. Roll
>>25777110
Whisper I'm an incubus, you know what that means.
Roll
>>25777110
raul
>>25777146
Shiny plsroll
>>25777110
Keep going. Once she has fallen asleep we can escape to cause trouble.
>>25777124
>>25777131
>5
>SPEECH CHECK failed
>"Tha-that's stupid. This book is thousands of years old, and demons -ah, right there- always move around planes of existence. The spell has never failed...well, until now"
>>25777134sorry, single digit.
>>25777207
reachfurther downher belly
>>25777207
Try changing tactic. Tell her that book might not be the case then. It's she who made the mistake.
>>25777207
oh...
let's try again tomorrow, then
>>25777207
Well at least she stopped screaming. Inform her that she has interrupted your lunch and you demand she feed you in return for your trouble.
>>25777207
boop her snootle and tell her to try again
>>25777207
Oh, well that's a shame.
Anyways, thanks for summoning me. Now I can go about world domination and opening a portal to the ninth ring of hell.
>>25777207
You're telling the demon that just walked out of your summoning spell that they're wrong about your old ass book?
>>25777207
Well then I dunno.
>>25777222
>>25777248
>>25777229
[you tell her that you're no expert in occult rituals, but it was probably user error]
>"Well, as much as I hate to admit it, you're probably right. Strange as you are, you're definitely no demon, and that's what I need right now. Stand back and I'll summon what I need, then send you back to wherever you're from."
>>25777301
Nah. I have big plans for this world.
>>25777301
But don't you like the petting?
Why not let me hang around you and your future demon?
>>25777301
Ask her if you can assist her demonic needs somehow.Perhaps with your beastcock
>>25777301
but I'm prettyhandy
>>25777301
Remind her to fix up that hole in the circle, then make a run for it while she's distracted trying again.
>>25777301
Ask her why she needs a demon, maybe you can whatever she needs instead.
>>25777301
Tell her that she MUST fix her PENTAGRAM otherwise demon could slip out of it as easily as you just did.
Being torn to pieces is not in your best interest. Probably not her either.
>>25777301
Fool, we are more powerful than any mere demon.
>>25777301
maybe i could be your demon tonight
>>25777301
Ask why she needs a demon
>>25777301
Why does pony need a demon, anyhow?
>>25776693
Great, we got summoned by the pony equivalent of Raven from Teen Titans.
I'm having a very Tara moment here.
>>25777301
Run away before she sends you back.
>>25777301
you realize a real demon would probably just kill you right.
>>25777301
Place your fingers on your temples and concentrate, trying one last time to manifest a fireball or telekinetic powers to see if there's any chance we might still, despite every indication, be a demon.
Otherwise, roll the pony over and give it a belly massage as you inquire about the nature of the demon it is attempting to summon.
>>25777301
You should probably fix that circle first.
>>25777301
Don't be sent back, there are too many
unscritched and unbooped ponies in this world!
>>25777301
Reflect on your desire to conquer this horse-world, with her as your first slave.
Do not realize that you are speaking out loud.
>>25777306
[you actually have no plans at all]
>>25777325
>>25777338
>>25777456
[you point out the flaw in the PENTAGRAM]
[the pony thanks you and quickly fixes it]
>>25777326
>>25777348
>>25777349
>>25777354
[you ask why she even needs a demon, and tell her that you're powerful enough]
>"hah, don't get me wrong, the petting was nice. But you're not exactly the 'hired muscle' type I'm looking for. I've got the sort of problem that only several hundred pounds of angry muscle and magic can fix. Besides, I'm sure you'd like to go back home to whatever ethereal hellhole you're from"
>"now then, let's get this started"
[the pony begins to cast her magic on the PENTAGRAM]
[a sickly magic surrounds her horn that makes you feel uncomfortable]
>>25777503
grab the nearest blunt object
just in case
>>25777503
Sit next to her and hug
>>25777503
Inform her that you do not care for your ethereal hellhole, and would be more than happy bumming around with colorful talking horse things.
>>25777503
Now just hold on a dang second. I am the first among my people, the Neet. I am a warrior without peer at several Vidyas. And, truth be told, I have nothing better to do. Let me stick around and help?
>>25777503
Start stroking her horn casually
>>25777503
Tell her you would actually like to explore this place a bit. You don't want to go back to your hellhole quite yet. it's a hellhole. you silly pony.
>>25777503
[but nothing happened]
>>25777503
>[you actually have no plans at all]
Fuck you I dont.
>>25777503
Prepare your Kung-Fu.
>>25777534
kick a candle over
>>25777503
Even though you are not the type of summon that there's demand for. Assure pony that you are always happy to provide more scratches and petting if the need arise. Dictate pony your phone number just in case.
>>25777534
oh how embarrassing
performance issues little pony?
>>25777534
Looks like no one answered your call. It's ok, you still got me.
>>25777534
Welp, looks like she's stuck with us.
>>25777534
I was expecting anon to be poofed back into the circle. Disappointing.
>>25777534
Maybe the dance of our people will help!
>>25777534
Inform her that you would be more than willing to coddle anyone she wishes into unconsciousness.
>>25777534
Tell her it's okay and that this happens to everyone sometimes.
>>25777589
this
>>25777534
Comfort necropone by telling her that, hey, at least she didn't get a star-trek-transporter-accident type-a' thing.
Those are never fun. If she looks at you questioningly, lift your hands into clawed shapes, fingers wiggling while contorting your face into agony.
>>25777534
Maybe pony has some past-due demon rentals. She needs to pay up first.
>>25777575
we should ask her if there's some sort of pill to help her with this
>>25777534
Use the echoing fart sound of the ritual failing as cover for your own desperately-needed fart.
>>25777534
Well...you tried, lets get something to eat
>>25777534
It'd probably be good to mention the gap in the summoning circle.
>>25777575
>>25777579
>>25777589
>>25777592
>>25777595
[you make several erection innuendos and bad jokes about performance anxiety. The pony does a very good job of ignoring you]
>"That...that's not good. That's really not good. A botched summoning and a failed summoning doesn't just mean I'm messing up, it means someone or something on another side is trying to stop me."
[the pony stares at the smoking PENTAGRAM, the gears in her head nearly audible at how fast they're spinning]
[after a few minutes, she turns to you with a glint in her eye]
>"Well, I can't get the help I need, and like this I can't send you back... How much do you know aboutliches?"
>>25777691
[you've already fixed that!]
>>25777699
Inform her that you know nothing about Liches because you are most certainly NOT a D&D nerd.
>>25777699
Ha! I'm a huge fucking dork. I probably know more about liches, necromancers, and phylacteries than you do.
>>25777699
why, almost everything!
I'm practically an expert on leeches!
>>25777699
they are immortal and unkilliable but if you destroy the item their soul inhabits you can kill them for real.
>>25777699
Totally not horrifying abominations that command legions of the undead.
>>25777699
I'm an expert.
[roll]?
>>25777699
I've killed several lich kings before!
>>25777699
Litches are bitches
>>25777699
They are little black bastards that live in lakes and try to suck you blood.
>>25777699
They're the bad guys, right?
Well I know this one mexican guy...
roll?
>>25777699
Undead skelly wizards with loads of powers. Need a phylactery to exist and can't be 'killed' so long as it's intact.
>>25777699fuck I forgot to put the roll challenge
>>25777716
>>25777727
>>25777729
>>25777732
>>25777733
>>25777734
>>25777797
>>25777859
[you inform her that you are actually somewhat of an expert on the subject]
>SPEECH CHECK- applies to the first THREE replies to this post with 'roll' in them. If the last digit of the post numbers equal a sum of 15 or higher, you succeed. Anything lower will fail the check.
>>25777870
I'm ready to 'roll'.
>>25777870
0 GO
'roll'
>>25777870
roll
>>25777870
So yeah, you can become one by drawing. A lot. Trust me.
roll.
>>25777870
roll
>>25777870
I'm rolling even though I'm late.
>>25777870
ROLLING
>>25777870
this system doesnt work well
you should just roll a die
>>25777870
Can we level up to get multipliers later?
>>25777891
you fucked up. you should have gone for a nine.
this is a horrible way to handle dicerolls.
>>25777921
It works well you're just shit at rollin 2bh
>>25777921
System is fine. Just trust the man. It's barely the second roll.
>>25777886
>>25777891
>>25777894
>11
>SPEECH CHECK failed
[you tell her all about that time in camp when you swam in the lake and got them stuck all over your legs]
[the pony looks at you like you're an idiot]
>"right, well I'll explain later. Basically we've got to kill one, and he's got a ton of undead between us and him. You know how to fight, at least?
>>25777921
>>25777928
>>25777938sorry, kind of new to this. How should I handle it?
>>25777997
Assure her that you have over 300 confirmed kills and can handle yourself with dualwielding glorious nippon steel
>>25777997
I know how to tickle a man into submissionthe system is fine, that one anon needs to git gud
>>25777997
FLEX and present your amazing cuddle muscles, for cuddles.
Of course you can win a fight with petting and cuddles, silly small horse.
>>25778027
The system is not fine, use some fucking dice or an online dice roller.
>>25777997
Roll your own dice
>>25777997
I have a black belt in judo!Short of an RNG this is the best system you got.
>>25777997
Explain to her that you are an expert in close quarters cuddling which you have been lead to believe is ineffective against undead. Fortunately if she knows a combat trainer you know everything there is to know about montaging.
>>25777997
Boast and tell her about the life and tales of your Latest PC in a first person perspective
>>25778043
have you ever done a quest before?
>>25777997Your current system is just relying on the time you post. We're pretty much guarantied to lose if you post while the post count is in the 10s or 20s.
>>25777997
you could just google "dice roller"
>>25777997
If you use the post number, there's ways to do it.
If you want increments of 10%, just use last digit. So a target of 8,9, or 0 is 30%
If you want increments of 1%, use the last two digits. So something that has a 38% chance has to have a post that's 38 or lower.
>>25778058
Do you ever go on /tg/?
>>25778086
yes
have you been in any of the quests that have been done on /mlp/?
>>25778061
^This
There are no permutations in which posts ending in digits lower than 6X's will hit the mark.
>>25778092
No because they're often shit.
Rolling by post count is an awful system, I don't give a shit what you think.
>>25778073
that isn't truly random, as /mlp/ isn't fast enough for post numbers to be unpredictable
I'll get something near 115 at the end of my post number
>>25778109
But the vast majority of /mlp/ quests don't use post counts.
>>25778109
>often shit
?
A good deal of the recent ones have been alright, save the amount of circlejerking in that general.
>>25778109
>>25778121
>>25778124
>>25778126
>>25778092
>>25778086
>>25778073
>>25778067
>>25778061
>>25778058
>>25778049
>>25778054
>>25778058
Lets just use this dicebot
http://jsbin.com/amemah/13
>>25778137
would that work without the email field?
>>25778153
yes
it supports in post use
>>25778137
Does that still work?
Last time I tried it on /mlp/ it wouldn't.
[1d20]
>>25778169
>>25778153
Like so
My post
Name
options
Text:BLA BLAH BLAH BLAH
[1d40]
>>25778137
test
[3d6]
>>25778027
>>25778040
>>25778049
[you tell her that you managed to subdue her with cuddles]
>"I was surprised. And I don't have armor, or swords. And I have skin that can actually feel you. Whatever, you're gonna have to actually fight at some point if we're gonna do this."
[the pony leads you out of the summoning room and down a hallway. She pulls a key out of her cloak and unlocks a door]
>"alright, we don't have much time. Grab supplies and lets get going."
[you open the chest to find a bag loaded with supplies, and move to grab a weapon]
http://strawpoll.me/6277892
(after 5 minutes of this post, I'll close it off and pick the winner)
>>25778215
I want the mystery weapon inside the chest.
>>25778215
Wizardly hijinks incoming, boys!Our anon is probably just over 30 anyway.
>>25778215
>she thinks boner poners can't be cuddled
Oh she'll learn.
>>25778215
TAKE THE CHEST.
alright, I'm gonna go with an online diceroller for all future choices.
Thanks for the help.
>>25778232
>[you open the chest to find a bag loaded with supplies, and move to grab a weapon]
>>25778215
>Make inapropriate jokes about 'muh staff'
>>25778215
Equip chest as armor.
>No one has picked bow
I love you /mlp/
>>25778255
This one
>>25778270
Bows are sissy weapons for fru-fru pansyfags!
>>25778270
Fuck elves, and most importantly, fuck dex
>>25778270
because we hate the fucking Lucksmans deceptive hitboxes
>>25778270
Of course right after I say that, some asshole picks it.I love you even more now /mlp/
>>25778280
>>25778281
>>25778282
When I said that, I meant I was agreeing with all of you...
I love you guys because you hate bows as much as I do.
sword and staff tied...
>>25778270
Bows are inherently worthless against undead. You think any zombie will give a shit if you pierce its lung?
>>25778293I know, I just want to complain about elves.FUCKING ELVES
>>25778302
>>25778293
I'M AGREEING WITH YOU!
>>25778314
At least someone understands me...
>>25778255
>>25778215
Put it on your head.
>>25778215
[Ah, the bow. Tool of the noble hunter, the weapon that brought your people out of caves and to the top of the foodchain]
[you feel power flow into your fingers as you pick up the ranged weapon. Your arrows will mow down countless undead on your quest!]
>>25778333
Trips demand
Anon must become a DS mimic.
>>25778215
If we're going to be raiding a lich's dungeon we better bring a fucking ten foot pole.
Hit every floor tile with that sucker.
>>25778215
If we're fighting the undead we need fire and a bludgeoning weapon.
But mostly fire!
>>25778343
The strawpoll was worthless then?
>>25777997
First off, you're asking for rolls that are WAY too high. The maximum roll is 9+9=18, the way you're doing it. That means the chances of success were garbage to begin with.
A better way to handle it is to make it one post, and either the last two digits (00-99) or the last one digit (0-9) with reasonable goals for the roll. I'd use the second option.
>>25778343
w-what?
>>2577834310/10 senpai
And don't forget sick bow bashing combos.
>>25778343
You fookin surius m8?
>>25778343
it was actually the atlatl, the bow came far, far later
but i doubt we care about historical accuracy.
>>25778343
op is a duck
>>25778355
>>25778358
>Not getting the joke
Boy, it's almost like you're as dumb as the protagonist :^)
>>25778343He's gonna snap it, ain't he?
>>25778343
GOD DAMMIT NOBBY
>>25778343
[...if you were some kind of faggot. You pick up the sword like any normal person and leave the room]
[the pony is waiting at the door when you exit, all ready to go]
>"A sword? Well, that's probably the best for you. Is there anything else you need in here before you go?"
>>25778343
I T W A S A R U S E
>>25778384
You need a helmet.
>>25778371
It's not a joke until the >>25778384 punchline happens.
>>25778384
>not multiclassing
>>25778384
You need a 5 dollar foot long.
>>25778384
You need to use the bathroom.
>>25778384
Your sweet ponut and maybe some defensive spells little pony.
>>25778384
FOOD
>>25778384
breakfast
>>25778384
You need something to ride into battle on.
>>25778384
I need the staff too.
You know since we're supposed to be multiclassing.I also need to take a massive shit.
you need more cowbell
>>25778384
Yeah, a reason why I would even fight hordes of the undead. Maybe the little horsie could say pretty please?
>>25778384
Was the staff a wizards staff? Like to cast spells and shit?
If so I want to change my sword vote to staff.
GREEN WARRIOR NEEDS FOOD BADLY!!
>>25778384
Make her do things to stall. Like cooking and making her tell you stories.
>>25778394
>>25778403
>>25778416
>>25778424
[you ask if you can take the staff too]
>"Why, can you cast magic?"
[you tell her no, but ask if she can teach you]
>"Uh, magic doesn't work like that, green guy. You have it and you get better, or you don't have it at all. Sorry."
>>25778421
[Finally catching up with what the pony's asking for, you ask why exactly you're going to be helping her fight hordes of undead]
>"I'll explain on the way. Bottom line is we need to stop this guy, and fast."
>>25778396
>>25778405
>>25778407
>>25778465
[after running through a whole slew of terrible ideas in your head, you ask the pony for something to eat]
[a few minutes later, you leave the house with a sword in one hand and a sandwich in the other, the pony right by your side]
[you emerge in a strange land under heavy clouds. In the distance you can see a jagged mountain range, where the pony tells you you'll be heading]
YOUR QUEST HAS BEGUN
>>25778384
Ask for magical items since the pony is a wizard.
Like an enchanted ring of stealth or boots of swiftness.
>>25778508
Trip and break your leg
>>25778384
Ask her if she can enchant the sword.
Might help
>>25778508
From the land you come from, your kind usually rides ponies into battle.
>>25778524
>>25778521
These two together
>>25778508
This looks like the perfect place to cue that title card.
>>25778508
Put sandwich in backpack.
>>25778508
You could've used the staff as a walking stick, as well as smacking hoes to put them in their place.
>>25778508
Seems like a long walk, Inquire about quest to pone.
>>25778521
YOUR QUEST HAS ENDED
>>25778521
kill yourself
>>25778544
DAMMIT ANON
>>25778544
Ride her into battle now that your leg is broken.Nice dubs. :^)
>>25778544
gg guys see you next week
POST YER QUESTAN MUSIC
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0J5gN1DwNDE
I read the first line and thought it was going to be a pone murder mystery. Oh well. I always knew bronies were the devils spawn.
>>25778508
https://youtube.com/watch?v=NUIZvAe3RBg
