Let's play a game, /mlp/! If taken with alcohol, consult a mortician immediately.
If you don't know what's happening, catch up here: http://anonpone.pineapplecomputing.com/threshold/23516424
>>25724899
Dandy
>>25724899
First for Integrity is best CYOAfag
>>25724899
>thinking your SCP meme game matters anymore
Inept is a literal faggot.
>>25724936
#rude
>>25724899
I-Is this a game about the SCP foundation? Really?
>>>/2012/
>>25724899
Last time, Dandy used his tongue-immolating peppermint mouthwash to trick A3-96, saving his rump (and more sensitive areas) from death by bee stings. Then, Dandy took an early lunchbreak, which was almost ruined by another run-in with Blazar, but saved at the last minute by Günther, who gave him some... useful advice for his upcoming date. Then it was time for Dandy to get back to work, in his first field assignment. It seems that there's something weird happening on an island to the southwest. What could be happening?
HP: 100%
Bits: 204
CC: 1864
Inventory: 1 house key, 1 comb, 1 white fedora, 1 two-way radio, 1 Speed Snapper, 1 lab coat, 1 moon cake, 1 bag of maple yogurt drops, 1 drinking bird, 1 coffee mug, 1 color-changing putty, 1 poster, 1 Cathedral of Terra pamphlet, 1 bottle of peppermint mouthwash, 1 ID card, 1 ounce of "citrus honey", 1 can of bug spray, 1 leftover pizza (3 slices)
This is where your quest continues.
>>25724971
Kill self
>>25724971
See if the soldiers know anything about what's happening on the island.
>>25724936
>>25724955
Oh! Would you look at that!
A piece of shit so worthless it has to try to pick on of the most respectable Qm to feel a tiny bit more important than rot in a wet corner
Remember that time you wanted to kill yourself? You really should have done it !
>>25724971
Talk with soldiers
Introduce yourself and ask about their former assignement and if they know the place you're going
>>25724971
>>25724979
>samefagging
>in your own thread
Any respect I had for you is now gone.
>>25724971
Ask for their names, and if they specialize in anything.
>>25724971
Ask what kind of anomalies they've faced before. We might hear some interesting stories.
beb
>>25725024
Inept always names his/her files, that's not Inept.
>>25724971
>>25724995
>>25725045
>>25725052
these are all good.
>>25725024
>implying I'd ever call myself a respectable QM
>>25724976
>>25724995
>>25725045
>>25725052
Dandy straightens his coat and greets the soldiers.
>"Hello, every pony. My name is Doctor Dandy Pomp, and IIYAH!!"
Dandy is cut off by the whirlybird abruptly lurching forward, sending the purple pegasus to the floor of the vehicle. A loud rumbling noise filling Dandy's ears, followed by a whir that steadily increases in volume as the rumbling and shuddering sounds taper off.
"You okay, Doc?" one of the soldiers - a yellowish Earth pony stallion - asks, sounding like he's trying not to chuckle.
Dandy just rubs his head, his pride more wounded than anything else.
>"Uh... Yeah. Just dandy. Urgh... Like I was saying, I'll be overseeing this mission... So, why don't you guys introduce yourselves? Left to right, who are you and what do you do?"
The yellowish stallion gets serious, saluting Dandy as he answers: "Private Flash Nugget, F/M riflestallion. I mostly work with Level 1 ponynnel, sir."
>"F/M?"
"Fire and maneuver, sir. My job is to hit and run."
>"Oh. Dandy."
Dandy turns to the tall white unicorn.
"Next."
The unicorn salutes. "Private 33 and 1/3, grenadier, sir! This is my first field mission, sir!"
>'Grenadier? On a recon mission? Sheesh...'
The blue pegasus mare raises a hoof to her head. "Cadet Stormy Weather, sir! Automatic riflemare! We met yesterday in A1-1799's chamber, sir!"
>"Alright, and you..."
Dandy pauses.
>'Wait...'
The green unicorn at the front gives Dandy a look for a second before she salutes.
"Lieutenant Flare Gun . Team Leader. We worked together with A2-149 yesterday, sir."
>>25725686
Keep calm. Maybe she'll be cool this time and not do anything until you say so.
>>25725686
Keep it professional Dandy.
She obviously didn't complain about you.
>>25725686
Just say you remember and look forward to working with them again. If she's really that 'dedicated' to her orders she should behave.
>>25725686
Who's the medic?
>>25725686
Hopefully she can keep from shooting on sight, but that came from experience so take her suggestions seriously despite her liberal use of force.
Forgot to mention Dandy's HP is now at 99% due to hitting his head on the floor.
>>25725775
>>25725799
>>25725804
>>25725824
Dandy takes his time getting back up, mostly so he can scrunch and grumble to himself about having to work with Lt. Flare again.
>"Yeah, I remember all of you... I met you at orientation, 33 and 1/3."
"Yes, sir." he answers, smiling crookedly. "You really took charge against that mask-hologram thing."
Dandy chuckles, reminiscing how his first response to a giant tentacled mask monster was to hurl a chair at it. And he didn't even need to be told to do it... That brings a proud smile to Dandy's face.
>'That was cool... Maybe I'll tell you guys about it, sometime.'
>"So, do any of you know exactly what we're in for? Aside from a non...you-kidding disturbance? Dr. Fortissimo didn't exactly tell me much."
"I'm afraid that that's because we don't have much to tell, sir." Stormy Weather answers. "All we know is that the report came in about 20 minutes ago and mentioned bizarre stuff like the ground floating in the air, waves coming in sideways, trees bent at unnatural angles, things like that. We've heard about it before, but this is the first time we have solid evidence of it. That's why we're being sent to investigate and figure out what's causing it."
"Hopefully." Flash Nugget adds.
"And then after we figure out the cause," Flare adds, ignoring Flash Nugget's interjection, "we box it up and bring it back to the facility. Like usual."
"Hopefully."
"Stow it, private." Flare glares at Flash Nugget out of the corner of his eye. He glances down. "There's no room for that mealy-mouthed crap in this line of work. We go, we investigate, we detain, we leave. Simple as that."
"Yes, ma'am." Flash Nugget answers, glancing to the tail of the whirlybird and frowning.
>>25726138
Are we there yet?
>>25726138
these are some cool guys.
>>25726138
How long's the flight?
>>25726195
>>25726269
>"So how long is this flight, anyway?"
"Coquelicot Isle is about an hour from Canterlot when you go by whirlybird." Stormy answers, removing her helmet and pulling down her bandanna. "Until then, we can relax."
"Good, I could use a nap." 33 1/3 adds, removing his own helmet. "It's too hot to wear all this junk."
"No napping." Flare scolds. "We need to be alert for whatever we run into down there."
>"Does that apply to me, too?"
Flare rolls her eyes. "Technically, no, sir."
>'Well that's one way to pass the time.'
Not wanting to endure another concussion, Dandy takes a seat and quickly straps himself in.
Well, as quickly as he can, anyway.
>'Who designed these stupid buckles like this...?!'
>>25726548
Are we there yet?
>>25726548
Relax Dandy. You're gonna be busy shortly.
>>25726548
It's faster then regular flying and that's what counts.
>>25726548
Try to get some intel on where we're going. What's the terrain like? How close is it to civilization? How populated is the area? The details of the report? Who made the report? Is there anybody already there?
>>25726764
>"So, what can you guys tell me about this Coke-luh-cot island we're going to?"
"It's a really popular vacation spot." 33 1/3 answers. "I've got relatives who went there once, and they only had great things to say about it. White, sandy beaches, not a lot of ponies crowding around, fantastic food, the whole nine yards."
"I don't know how eager I'd be to go on vacation on top of a volcano..." Flash Nugget replies.
"Extinct volcano." Flare corrects him. "There's been no volcanic activity on the island in hundreds of years."
>"How close is it to civilization?"
"Forty miles off of Los Pegasus, give or take." Stormy responds. "It was an agent from the Los Pegasus wing that first picked up the report and forwarded it to Canterlot."
>"Why didn't they just check it out themselves?"
"They're not equipped to handle situations like this." Flare answers. "They act as the Threshold's eyes and ears."
"And we're the muscle, right?" 33 1/3 responds, grinning slightly.
"Affirmative." Flare answers, not sounding amused.
>"So, the report came from Los Pegasus?"
"Correct." Stormy replies, opening the file she's been carrying. "After the second missing ponies report on Coquelicot came in, the Los Pegasus wing sent in a scout to see if the situation needed Threshold attention. That scout got us these pictures, so we were rounded up to investigate."
>"Wait, so we're the first ones to actually go there?"
"That's right, sir." Flare answers in a commanding tone. "We're the first response team. We know that the geography of the eastern part of the island is being altered, but we don't know by what. And we don't know why those two ponies went missing, either. That is what we're going to find out. Does that uncertainty worry you? Sir?"
>>25727170
...no
>>25727170
Not really, we have you guys with us!
>>25727170
It certainly should.
>>25727170
What's the chance that the anomaly can make the volcano active again? Can we see the pictures?
>>25727455
>>25727278
>>25727411
".....No."
Flare's eyes bore into Dandy. "Good. We can't afford to bog ourselves down by worrying before we even get there."
"This sort of thing is what we train for." Stormy adds, giving Dandy a reassuring smile. "We'll be fine."
"Just as long as whatever we find doesn't set the volcano off." Flash Nugget mutters.
"I said stow it, private!" Flare barks at the mousy stallion. "Or so help me Celestia you'll be running laps around the hangar until you're puking BLOOD!"
"Y-yes, ma'am!"
>"...So, uh, you mentioned pictures, right?"
"Yes, sir." Stormy answers.
>"Can I see them?"
"Of course, Doctor. Thirty, pass these down, would you?"
"Kay." the unicorn answers plainly, his magic wrapping the photos and levitating them over to Dandy. "Here you go, Doc."
>"Thanks."
>>25727982
Damn chunk loaders fucking up again.
>>25727982
Fucking minecraft.
I really don't want to know what happens if you're standing in the middle of that when it happens.
>>25727982
Yep, that's an anomaly alright.
>>25727982
Are we there yet?
such flight, very wow
>>25728958
>"Are we there yet?"
"It's been twenty minutes, Doctor." Flare answers.
>"Oh..."
"If you're bored, why not take a nap until we get there, Doc?" 33 1/3 suggests, prompting a grunt from Flare. "We need to be alert, but you can get away with a few winks."
Sorry for the delay, but I didn't have anything to really work with. See you later/tomorrow, and thanks for playing.
>>25729544
Night Inept.
>>25729530
I don't know about you Dandy, but I'd rather not be that guy who does the thing no one else is allowed to right in front of them. Just keep yourself occupied. Look out of the window, play I spy or something.
boop
So does Dandy see/hear bumps too?
>>25729530
Sit in your seat and do nothing until you reach your destination.
>>25733691
>every now and again the voices in his head go bumpbumpbopbebbumpbackupbumpbumppage9boopbumpbumpbumpbebbop
>>25729530
Dandy, how about you tell us how you took on that tentacle monster all by yourself to pass the time?
>>25733691
>>25733705
>'You know, I do hear that sometimes when you guys go quiet... As weird as it sounds, something about it is kind of soothing.'
>>25729587
>>25733699
Dandy experiences something that has recently become very alien to him.
Silence.
For the remainder of the flight, the cacophonic voices of the Anons are silent. Dandy is a bit unnerved by the sudden silence, but something he can't pinpoint keeps him from complaining about it. Instead he just enjoys the quiet, punctuated only by the occasional voices of other ponies for once.
"Attention, everypony," a voice eventually says over the speakers, "we'll be landing momentarily. Grab your stuff and be sure to return your seat backs and tray tables to their original upright position."
>'My what now?'
Dandy gets a sinking feeling in his stomach as the whirlybird descends faster than seems safe, shuddering abruptly as it touches down. Flare's team dons their helmets and bandannas as Flare undoes her belt. "You heard him, fillies!" she says in a commanding voice. "Move your rumps! I want base camp set up in ten minutes!"
"Yes, ma'am!" three voices respond in unison as the bulk door to Dandy's right opens, and a breeze smelling faintly of salt water blows into the cabin.
>"What about me? What should I do?"
"Whatever you like?" Flash Nugget responds with a shrug. "You are in charge here, after all. I guess you can do what you want until we're ready to start the mission."
>>25734160
Well, lets head out and see what's what.
>>25734160
Silly Dandy, your stomach sinks when you go UP.
>>25734160
Take a look at things from the air while they set up.
>>25734160
Let's talk to that pilot now that he's not busy.
>>25734218
He is sorta the last member of our team. Is he staying? Did we ever get told how we were going to stay in contact with Threshold?
>>25734180
>>25734210
>'Oh, there you guys are. Welcome back.'
Dandy unbuckles himself (which is a lot easier than buckling was since there's just a big button for him to smash his hoof against) and leaves the whirlybird, opening his wings and flying about a hundred feet above the whirlybird.
>'Ahhhh, MUCH better. Yeah, this is how you fly. Not by sitting in a big cramped toothpaste tube for an hour.'
Satisfied with his pegasus superiority, Dandy takes a moment to investigate his surroundings.
>'Alright, Anons, are you still there? Dandy. I see the volcano to the northwest, and it is BIIIIG! There's some buildings to the west; I guess that's the capital or whatever. And off to the east is that screwed-up beach that we're supposed to check out. We're setting up on a meadow on the edge of town, about a quarter mile from the beach; the team is putting up a tent not too far from the whirly-doodad. Did you guys get all that?'
>>25734426
>are you still there?
no
>>25734426
Inform your comerades and go fly over the beach for a start
>>25734426
Let's have a chat with the pilot. Is he staying around?
>>25734426
Don't approach the beach yet. We should do that as a team. Go back to camp and ask Flare how they usually approach this kind of thing.
>>25734476
>'Go to the freaky antigravity beach? Alone?! Are you cracked, Anon? I'm not going out there until I HAVE to!'
>>25734504
>>25734560
>Oh, pilot. Right.'
Dandy lets himself drop down to cockpit level and goes to knock on the window, but he pauses when he sees that the pilot looks like he's napping.
>'Oh... Well, I guess he's sticking around, at least.'
Satisfied that his ride out of here is secure, Dandy goes to check on the campsite. It looks like everything's going smoothly. Flare is currently busy setting the tent up with Stormy and 33 1/3.
>'Must I talk to her? Urgh...'
>"Hey, yo, Flare."
The green unicorn doesn't stop working on the tent, even to face Dandy. "Yes, Doctor?"
>"How do you guys usually handle this kind of thing?"
"Our strategy is usually to split into two fireteams." Flare answers. "Flash and I scout ahead and report back via radio, while Stormy and the grenadier hang back and watch the flank, providing covering fire when it's needed. Most times it's not, but it always pays to be prepared."
>"Who would I be going with?"
"Nowhere. Your job is to stay here and report whatever we find back to the Threshold. We'll all be keeping in touch through our radios, and one of us will have a pony-cam mounted on our helmet, so you'll be able to see and hear anything that's going on."
>>25734953
>so you'll be able to see and hear anything that's going on
Through what exactly?
>>25734953
Oh, that sounds fun.
>>25734953
So nobody is going to ask the locals any questions? We're just supposed to stay at camp and be the radio operator?
>>25734953
Well alright. That doesn't sound unreasonable.
>>25734995
>"See and hear through what?"
"Our A/V equipment." Flare answers curtly. "They don't send us out here with no gear, you know."
>>25735008
>'Why are we complaining about NOT having to go into the death zone?'
>"So, no pony is going to ask the locals anything?"
"We already got our initial report from information compiled from the locals." Flare answers, aggravation clearly present in her voice by this point. "That's how we know two ponies have gone missing. The locals don't know jack about the situation anyway - the beach is closed to the public now. Has been since the second missing ponies report was submitted."
>"Okay, okay. So, my job is just to be a radio operator, huh?"
"Yes, sir. Just a radio operator. If you'd like to come with us, that's fine too. I just assumed it would be too scary for you, so I worked off that."
>>25735258
Shifting ground is really on my "scary" checklist.
>>25735258
A trained monkey can relay messages, we should go with them.
>>25735258
Yeah, because rubbing your face on anomalies is brave, not stupid. Let them go in first Dando. We can check it out out afterwards.
>>25735258
Come on, Dandy, maybe the anomaly is more like Squishy, the crab or the pumkin dog than anything mean
Maybe it needs more to be protected from your coworkers than anything else
Go with them
>>25735339
>'This guy knows what he's talking about!'
>>25735289
>>25735313
>>25735423
>'But... but... ...Luna dam it.'
>"I'm NOT scared of some floating rocks, Lieutenant! Get someone else to be your desk jockey, because I'm coming with you!"
That proclamation is enough to finally get Flare to turn around. "Are you sure about that, Doctor?" she asks.
>"Did I stutter?"
"No, sir." Flare turns back around. "Stormy!"
The blue pegasus flutters over. "Yes, ma'am?"
"There's been a change of plans. Doctor Pomp will be accompanying Thirty on our mission; you'll be staying behind as our overseer."
Stormy is quiet for a second. She looks at Dandy uncertainly before replying: "...Yes, ma'am."
As the soldiers resume their setup, Flare glances back at Dandy once more. "I hope you know what you're doing, sir."
>>25735690
Gathering intel, duh.
>>25735690
You're doing your job, nothing else.
>>25735711
>>25735756
>"I'm just doing my job, Lieu."
>'I'm going to bucking die. Again.'
"Mm... Well, it looks like we're all set here. Would you like to go over the plan once more, or just start the mission now?"
>>25736004
I'm good
>>25736004
Relax Dandy-boy, what could possibly go wrong? Remember that one of those guys blasted Squishy for no reason, so you've got to be there to make sure they don't kill the anomaly.
>>25736004
>>25736022
This, just tell yourself we're dealing with a reality-warping Squishy
Or maybe it's actually a prank from Discord, it has the look of it
>>25736004
Ah don't worry about it Dandy. Just get going and do your best.
>>25736004
Has the alterations in who's going changed the plan in any significant way?
>>25736059
>'That's supposed to make me feel better?!'
>>25736013
>>25736064
>"Let's start the mission."
"Yes, sir." Flare responds. "Dune Buggies, form up! We're ready to move out!"
The three other soldiers quickly line up outside the tent with a resounding, "Yes, ma'am!"
"You all know the drill. Stormy, you're our lifeline. Keep in touch with us and with the facility at all times."
"Yes, ma'am." Stormy responds.
"Thirty-three," Flare continues, "you'll be with Doctor Pomp. You are to protect him at all costs, understand?"
"Yes, ma'am!" he answers confidently.
Flare's horn glows, and a small, eye-shaped device floats up and affixes itself to her helmet. "Since Stormy won't be joining us," she explains, "I'll take the pony-cam. We usually give it to the pony who has the greatest vantage point, but Doctor Pomp doesn't have a helmet."
>'Yeah, thanks for reminding me how unprepared I am for this.'
"Now look sharp and let's go."
The trek to the eastern beach is uneventful enough. The only sounds to be heard are the clopping of hooves and the rustling of rucksacks. It's almost pleasant. But the solace ends all too soon when the squad arrives at the edge of the beach area. Down a sandy hill up ahead, they can see the first traces of the anomaly's manifestation.
>'Is it too late to turn back?'
>>25736545
lemme see
>>25736545
You'll look like a sissy if you do. Are you a sissy baby Dandu?
>>25736545
Who's this pony and what does the sign say?
>>25736590
>'Hey!
>'Hey.'
>'Hey.'
>'Anon.'
>'Hey.'
>'...Shut up, okay?'
>>25736564
>>25736674
Dandy trots forward to inspect the sign.
"HEY, YOU!" the elderly pony next to the sign suddenly yells, causing Dandy to jump what must be thirty feet.
>"AAGH!"
"Can't ya read, kid?!" the old pony barks, pointing at the sign with a shaking hoof. "'Closed to the public!' That means keep out! Especially if you're some young hoodlum set on vandalizing the place up! Go on, skedaddle!"
>>25736826
How did you not see that guy?
Anyway, explain who you are.
>>25736826
We aren't the public, baby, we's government.
We're allowed to vandalize this place.
>>25736826
Good thing we aren't the public.
>>25736826
We were sent from Canterlot to look into the situation here. Also we were about to read the sign before he yelled at us.
>>25736826
We came here for kick some anomaly ass and chew bubblegun, and we're out of bubblegum.
>>25736857
>'I DID BUCKING SEE HIM! I DIDN'T EXPECT HIM TO FREAK OUT LIKE THAT!!!'
>>25736860
>>25736886
>>25736906
>>25736940
While Dandy recovers from his heart attack, Flare tries to explain the situation: "We're not the public. We've been sent here to investigate the beach."
"Eh...? What was that, missy?" the old pony asks. "Ya ate a peach? What's that got to do with anything? You tryin' ta bribe me?!"
"No, sir, I said we're here to investigate. We're with the government."
"The environment?" the elderly stallion mutters. "Oh, I get it! You're with that new hippie group tryin' ta save the planet, arentcha? The Cathedral of something or other, right? Well, you're not gonna pull the wool over my eyes! I've done my homework, and I know all about where you charlatans get your money from! You ain't bleeding our little island dry, no way girly!"
>"Urgh... No, we're with the GOVERNMENT. We're here to see WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE BEACH."
The old pony pauses. "Oh, the beach! I'm afraid it's closed on account of some kinda weird magic or something turning the whole place topsy-turvy. They say if ya go too far, you disappear, never ta return! That's why the beach is closed fer now."
>"WE KNOW. WE'RE HERE TO FIND OUT WHAT'S CAUSING IT AND FIX IT."
The old man laughs a hearty laugh. "Fix it? You hooligans? Ee hee hee hee hee! That's a knee-slapper, right there! Why, you kids probably couldn't even handle them Parasprites over there, much less whatever's happenin' out on the coast!"
>'Parasprites?'
>>25737206
Holy fucking shit they're huge.
>>25737206
Tell the Parasprites to go away and continue arguing with the old deaf horse.
>>25737206
Oh hey, you can try out the new shooter. Uh, if it's alright to shoot them that is. I'm assuming they're pests.
>>25737236
Dandy tries to shoo the Parasprites away.
This proves ineffective.
>"OH LUNA THEY'RE IN MY HAIR! MY HAAAAAAIRRRRRR!!!!!"
>>25737462
heh
>>25737462
Why didn't you follow the shooting suggestion?
>>25737462
Dandy pls.
Pls.
>>25737462
Holy fuck they're gonna eat his glorious pompadour.
>>25737492Because if I don't inject some humor into this fucking glacier now and then I'm going to lose my shit.
>>25737540
With diplomacy having failed him, Dandy realizes that his options now are desperate. He must fight, or his precious hair might be... mildly soiled by giant bugs.
>'This cannot stand!'
Dandy arms himself with his Speed Snapper and squeezes the trigger as hard as he can.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4w5TeJVdhHY
The Parasprites squeak with shock and horror as a volley of glowing orange balls of energy rip through them, scattering them (and pieces of them) every which way. The rest of the squad instinctively pulls their weapons when Dandy starts firing, but they don't seem to see the same pressing need to use them that Dandy sees. Even Flare is uncharacteristically reserved. Oh, well, it doesn't matter. Dandy can handle this himself.
>"GET SOOOOOOOME!!!"
>>25737780
Yeah kill those hair eating bastards!
>>25737780
Yes. Good. Protect the pomp with extreme prejudice.
>>25737780
Dandy calm down, you look like a moron.
>>25737853
>>25737876
>>25737880
Dandy empties his clip on the hair-hungry hoard, his hoof not letting go of the trigger until long after the weapon has ceased firing.
"If you're done," Flare says flatly, "I think we can go now." She jerks her hoof behind her, gesturing towards the old stallion. He must have fled when the fireworks started.
>"Okay, but how's my hair look?"
Flare just slaps her hoof against her face and turns towards the beach; 33 1/3 trots up to Dandy and extends a hoof. "Looks okay to me, Doc." he says. "Nice shooting."
>>25738163
Stopping here to get some much-needed sleep. See you guys tomorrow, and thanks for playing!
>>25738163
Onwards!
>>25738179
Night Inept.
beb
>>25724936
>only quest that is somewhat likable
>SCP meme game
Stallman didn't die for this shit
