>"Starting is easy! All you have to do is make a friend. Go out there, anon!"
>>25603092
>And with that being said Anon walked outside the castle.
>"I wish you luck!"
>The doors close behind you.
>You double check to make sure.
>Letting out a heavy sigh, you look at the town before you.
"This is gonna end so bad."
>>25603092
Would you consider being my friend, Twilight?
>>25603092
Can't I just hide myself in some dark crevice of the castle? I promise I'll only come out to eat when you're asleep or out.
>>25603141
>anon tries tom ake friends with ponies.
>ponies reject out of fear.
>anon goes to Diamond Dog territory.
>anon was the medic all along.
>those burgs were good though.
>>25603092
That line made me sadder than I can possibly describe.
... and I've got seven of them right here! Right Twilight? Right?
There are problems friendship can't solve.
>just be yourself anon!
>>25603092
Last time I made friends they sapped my life away, poisoned my view of the world, and used me for their own selfish games. I'm perfectly fine without friends, thank you very much.
>>25603235
>yeah, about that anon...you see.
>>25603141
>Making your way into the town, you're already getting the "what the fuck is that" look?
>Beautiful.
>Well time to go find a pony to befriend.
>You walk up to the first one looking away from you.
>A wild carrot pony has appeared!
>She has a carrot on her flank, so she must like them.
"Hi, my name is Anon and-"
>She isn't moving.
>It's like she froze in time.
"H-hello?"
>You poke at her side.
>Yeah, she's pretty dead now.
>She must've contact deceased on verbal impact.
>Jesus Christ, Anon......
>>25603192
>"Come on anon, what are you losing? Friendship is a magical thing!"
>>25603235
>"Ha-ha-ha, no; I mean, yes, but you'll have to put some effort into this as well!"
>>25603254
>"Try again!"
>>25603279
>what are you losing?
Right now I can't lose anything and that's the point.
>>25603279
>"Try again!"
No.
>>25603360
yes.
Be honest, /mlp/. If someone you know but didn't know well - a coworker, a fellow student, a clerk - asked if you wanted to hang out sometime, would you say yes?
>>25603397
>hang out
You mean, like, on skype?
>>25603423
Like, go to club!
Its a lot harder to make friends in real life than on television.
>>25603397
no, people get weird when their alone with one other person, they start doing things.
like complimenting the room.
saying they like the show you chose to put on.
next thing you know you're being bent over the kitchen sink with a dick in your backside and your head underwater.
>>25603433
Just stop a guy from destorying the timeline.
>>25603397
No, it's happened to me before and my response is always
>"N-no thanks, I have stuff I gotta do"
Eventually they just stopped asking
>>25603267
>Leaving the now pony mannequin alone you decide to make your way further into town.
>Walking up to a celery stand, the pony running it also has a jar of peanut butter being used.
"I know what else peanut butter is good on."
>"Excuse you?"
"Nothing."
>You smile and walk away, turning back the jar of peanut butter is now no longer on the stand.
>Time to head to the bakery called "Sugarcube Corner" that Twilight mentioned earlier.
>Something about a spaz living here or some shit.
>You walk inside, find that all the stools look like candy.
>You decide to lick the table since it looks like a giant peppermint.
>Looking up you see a pink pony laughing her sides off and a couple standing there confused.
>Time to evacuate.
>Upon exiting you almost get hit by a bag of Skittles.
>Turns out it was just a fruit loop.
"Gay pride?"
>"Wha?"
"Who?"
>You walk past the rainbow, instead of over.
>Making friends is progressively fun.
>>25603397
I'd say yes because I'm that spineless, and then I'd be the fifth wheel all the while.
>>25603474
>Upon exiting you almost get hit by a bag of Skittles.
>Turns out it was just a fruit loop.
sensiblechuckle.gif
>>25603397
Nope. Too awkward. The people I hang out with now are the only people I'll hang out with. Otherwise its too weird and I don't like it.
>>25603474
>Time to head over to the fancy clothes place.
>A snoo- I mean beaut lives here supposedly.
>You knock on the door.
>Some proper pone opens it.
>"Why hello there darling, Twilight said something about you going around making friends toda-"
"Dress."
>"Dress?"
"Dress."
>"Errr I don't understand darlin-"
"Dress."
>And with that you leave her in a state of confusion.
>You didn't mean to be socially awkward to everyone on the first day.
>But since you started this, and enjoy it, you are more than willing to see how far you can go now.
>Today, Ponyville.
>Tomorrow?
>Celestia and tin-foil hats.Dear god what have I created?
>>25603397
Would I be able to bring my tulpa?
>>25603474
>fruit loop
What's Big Mac doing away from the farm?
>>25603613
How the fuck are you going to find more people to hang out with if you never expand your horizons?
>>25603446
this, desu
So, how many friends do you have? Best friends? Have you had them since childhood?
>>25603890
I split up with my best friends and all childhood friends during middleschool. Since then I've had only 2 friends.
I can't make new friends anymore, and even if I could at this point they won't solve my problems.
>>25603749
I dont want to find more people to hang out with. Im completely fine on my own, by myself, entertaining myself at my house. I have no qualms about staying in except maybe to go out to eat with the occasional friend. It's ok not being a social butterfly for some people.
>>25603676
>But wait there is one more of the bookreader's friends you haven't encountered!
>Actually, three Ano-
>Yeah no the equal sign don't count.
>And the last time I looked into a mirror, bacon poured out and it vibrated.
>Fuckthat.png
>Where was it again?
>Everclear forest?
>Sounds like heaven in a bottle.
>Walking outside the rattled town, you come across some mound on a mound.
>Actually, it's just a really round cottage house thing.
>You knock on the door.
>No response.
>That won't do.
>HERE COMES THE SLAM
>Door is dead, fred.
>After regaining composure, you look around.
"There is no cause for alarm! I'm only here for the zoo attraction!"
>You see a pink tail from behind the sofa.
"Crikey! A shy wombat!"
>Wait where did that sofa go?
>Not halfway across the room, I can assure you that.
>Now all you see is a scared yellow hermit.
>You bend over to look her straight in the eye.
>She seems to be tearing up a little.
>And now for the ultimate whisper.
"The only easy day was yesterday."
>You stand up and walk out.
>You're taking the door with you.
>Insurance
>>25603943
>Back in Ponyville with your new doorfriend you run into Twilight again.
>"Umm, Anon why are holding Fluttershy's door?"
"Everything is fine. There is no cause for concern."
>She is getting worried.
>Shit. Time for plan B.
"Remodeling."
>"Wow you've made that much progress in making friends?"
"Guess I'm a natural."
>"Well, sorry to cut this short but I'm needed in Canterlot for the next day or two. Spike will still be at the caste if you need anything.
"Okay, later Twilight."
>"See ya."
>She doesn't even know.
>And most importantly, she just said Spike was back at the castle by himself.
>Luna and "cosmic brownies" can wait.
>There is a dragon that needs attention.
>...and not that one, you pervert.
>>25603397
No, I wouldn't.
>>25604125
>Time to get payback for that mess a while back.
>Wasn't your fault that spike spilled blueberry juice on the center table, stained it, then proceeded to blame it you.
>Oh yeah, blame it on the new guy hurr dee durr.
>Well someone is about to get SPANKED.
>You go back to the castle and open the doors slowly.
>Just to find that Spike is sitting there in at Twilight's chair with that smug ass grin.
>"Oh hey, Anon. Sorry about the other day. No hard feelings right?"
>snapcracklepop.exe
"REEEEEEEEEE!!!!"
>You rush over to the small purple turtle before he can even get a chance.
>After grabbing him you move back over to Twilight's chair and proceed to sit down.
"Now the fun part!"
>He is bent over on your knee and you have your hand held up high.
>One motion later and purple becomes red.
>"OW!! A-Anon?! Did you just spank me?!"
>No words now, only spanking.
>You were too caught up in your endeavor to realize someone was about to enter the room.
>"Twilight? Are you here I need to talk to you abo-"
>That highway seemed to make a dead stop all of a sudden.
>Looking up, all you see is communism.
>You just stare at her, then proceed to put a finger up to your mouth.
"Shhhhhhh."
> Well, even equals know when to get the fuck out of dodge.
>You get up put the crying Spike on Twilight's chair and proceed back out of the castle.
>After closing the doors you turn around and let out a heavy sigh.
"This is gonna end so good."That's all she wrote. Unless you want more.
>>25604386
>need. fify
>>25603194
Mah nigga
>>25604386
Please continue. It's quite humorous.
>>25604386
>Well let's see what you did so far.
>You take out a notebook to jot everything down.
>Even got a crayon.
>You successfully made things awkward with Rarity, Rainbow, and Fluttershy
>Spike became your bitch and the equal rights movement was effectively lost.
>Wasn't she broken to begin with though.
>And Pinkie is just Pinkie.
>Is there even a way to break that?
>Wait, you forgot someone.
>The apple on the ground just made a clear realization.
>Can't believe you forgot about that background pony.
>Time to head to the apple farm.
>Things are about to get apple in here.
>Stop, don't apple my mind please.
>Apple, I meant break!
>NO that's damn!
>Stupid brainwashing fruit.
http://pastebin.com/Zk1RcU37
pastebinned and I'm done for the night unfortunately.I'll continue working on it though
>>25603397
Yes, unless it is a party, I hate those.
>>25603092JUST BE YOURSELF
I can't make friends....everyone hates me.
>>25607223
For once, Carlos my friend, you are spot on the feels.
>>25607223
F-fuck you carlos
>>25603092
Why would I want to do that?
>>25603092
>>25603092
H-how Twilight?
>Just be yourself!
...Thanks. Thanks for that.
Just be yourself, Starlight
>>25603092
Can i fuck yours instead
>>25603194
fucking kek.
>>25603092
And that's the line the show could've just ended on. It would have been a pretty damn good series finale.
>>25603397
No, I have nothing to say, I don't deserve friends.
>>25603194
diamond dogs rape anon
>>25603279
>you'll have to put some effort into this as well!
Can't I be a major piece of shit instead? I've seen that work here around half a dozen times...
>>25603092
Anyone else bothered by how soulless that face is?
>>25603092
>>25603943
>You're taking the door with you.
>Insurance
Kek
>>25607691
l-lewd
>>25608771
tfw
>"You have so many potential great friends on /mlp/, anon! I'm sure you'll be able to find the magic!"
>>25607861
>>25607861
>>25603397
Fuck yes.
What's the point of getting a chance if you don't make use of it?
>>25603092
No.
>>25609494
>Twilight changes this place into a hugbox, spreading her magic of friendship.
>Tfw ponychan was right all along.
>>25603397
If they had weed, sure.
>>25603194
Who the fuck is Tom Ake? I have to know.
>>25603092
This scene felt like a commercial
>"But how do I start?"
>Billy Mays bursts in
>"Starting is easy, all you have to do is make a friend! With the help of our trained proffessionals you will get advice for all your friendship issues for just 5 easy payments of $49.99! Our professionals will help guide you through the first steps into socialization with external living beings! Recommended by the Princess herself!"
>"But wait, there's more! Call in the next 10 minutes and you will get a 500ml bottle of lube! Remember! Sharing is caring! And what is a better way to show a friend how much you care about them than sharing them something so personal? Call now at 0-100-GET-A-L1F3-0000!
>>25611334
Ever since the MLPonychan merger, Ponychan's had more porn than this place.
>>25612955
Kek
>>25603194
STANDING
>>25613865
ON THE EDGE
>>25613906
OF THE CRATER
>>25613993
LIKE THE PROPHETS ONCE SAID
>>25603397
Yes I like getting to know other people better and meeting new ones.
>>25614514
You don't have to lie on the internet.
>>25614639
I'l be doing that when I say that I deeply care about what they all say.
>>25605088
>Time to head over to the apple farm!
>It's gonna be a lovely time!
>...For you.
>Upon arriving, you see a very hard working pony bucking trees.
>It'd be a shame if you just happened to impede progress.
>You weren't going for awkward on this one.
>You were willing to die if it meant breaking her.
>"Well hey there, Anon! What brings ya to this side of the area?"
"Oh you know, stuff."
>The flint and tinderbox was ready.
>Now we wait for nightfall.
>But first you're reasoning with Applejack.
"So you wouldn't mind if I walk through the farm tonight would you? I like taking strolls through the night by myself and this seems open enough."
>She is somewhat wary of this but let's you regardless.
>"Well, I don't see why not. As long as y'all can find your way out at night."
"Won't be a problem."
>RAZE THIS BARN TIME
>Nightfall hits.
>Upon further inspection, you noticed that the apple tree are close enough to set off a chain reaction.
>Perfect.
>Time?
>2:30AM on the dot.
>They went to sleep a while ago.
>Time to deal the damage.
>Strategy Anon. Start with the outer area first so it isn't noticeable until it's too late.
>Then take a few random trees in the inner area for additional spread.
>It's like baking an apple pie, except we skipped a lot of steps and are just baking the trees as well.
>...Umm this may have got out of hand.
>The fire is spreading much faster than you anticipated.
>Well, no matter time to le-
>"Anon....."
>The way that was said just sent to most chilling shiver down you.
>You slowly turn around to something horrific.
>Smile and optimism, GONE.
"Oh h-hey AJ, wh-what are you up to?"
>There is no response.
>Just that cold lifeless stare.
>Time to get the fuck out of here.
>You may have just fucked up beyond all hope.
>Worth it? Slightly
>Not worth what you are bearing witness to right now.
>...Shit's creepy.
>You aren't actually willing to die, it was just the heat of the moment.
>......God help you.
>>25615316
TO
FUCKING
FAR
>>25615316
mother of isis.
what has anon done
>>25603397
Depends on what we are gonna be doing.
Going to a shooting range? Sure, I'll bring my 10/22 and some targets.
Going to get dinner? No, that shit will get awkward fast as hell 9/10 times because you are probably boring as hell and will have nothing to talk about.
Going to do some manual labor? Sure, I'll get my boots and give you a hand, hell it can be a group effort, bring friends why not.
Going to a "party" where people just get drunk and sit around between dancing like retards and pretending they are better than everyone else for being some sort of gay ass social butterfly? fuck no, I don't need to be as depressed and lame as they are, keep that shit to yourself.
See how this works?
Offer up something interesting and I'm game, expect me to be your entertainment and you can fuck right off, I am 2000% done with that shit and the people who think that is OK. I wouldn't do that to you and you shouldn't do that to anyone else you shallow fuckers, get a fucking hobby and grow the fuck up. You know who you are.
>>25615900
>This guy gets it
>>25615900
>likes to shoot things
>hates going out to eat because it's a waste of time
>likes to actually do something productive
>sees right through frat boy lifestyle
Are you actually me in disguise?>tfw I was you the whole time
>>25616093
>>25615900
>"You two should become friends!"
>>25612955
>But we're not stopping there! For a limited time only, if you call within the next 5 minutes, we'll double your offer! That's two (2) friendship professionals and a whole liter of lube to make sure things go smoothly, all for only $49.99! And ask about our rush, no-delay shipping! What are you waiting for?! Call 1-800-GETALIFE today, and start making those friends!
>>25612955
RIP Mr. Mays
>>25616149
Were all friends here twilight, for better or for worse.
That's why we come here, there's few other places with people like us.
>>25603092
"But Twilight, I haven't finished making my Fallout 4 character yet"
>>25615900
You sound like someone fun to hang out with.
>>25603092
This just made me realize it's been over a month since I talked to any of my friends I didn't meet through 4chan.
>>25603397
Unless I actually have something to do, yeah. No way am I gonna skip a workout or /tg/ session, but if I don't have anything scheduled I'm down to hang out with folks I don't know well.
Of course, last time I did that it was with a friend of mine's sperg boyfriend. He's gotten better at social interaction, but it still eventually devolved into a conversation about his fetishes and what he likes about them. She walked in as he was trying to explain the appeal of vore and just sat there patiently until he was done. Then we played MtG, taught him how to play, and went to see a movie. The theater was closed, though, so we just walked around downtown until around 4AM and then they drove me home and went back to her place.
>>25615900
You, I like you.
>>25618867
>>25616149
But Anon, if you want to become a wise person, you should surround yourself with people different than you.
What's the point of being stupid wizard?
>>25603397
>tfw always say no because I'm an anxious wreck
>tfw that's why I have tfw no f
>>25616007
>Just call him Bond
I can make friends Twilight
>Then what's wrong Anon?
I can't make good friends, you know the kind of friends who will help you move a dead body
>>25612955
>>25616206
Read that in his voice without hesitation.
>>25603092
>"Look Anon, I look like a duck! Isn't that cute?"
>>25603141
I WOULD RAPE TWILIGHT SPARKLE UNTIL HER NOSE WAS BLEEDING AND HER VAGINA LOOKED LIKE A SPAGHETTI DINNER
>looks at Twilight
"HA, YEA, FUCK. THAT."
>walks out castle like a boss
>trips going down stairs
>ded
>>25603092
>tfw you have more friends than twilight
>>25603194
>Anon was the medic all alongThis probably isn't a TF2 thing, but now I just can't stop thinking that this is how Team Fortress 2 actually started.
>>25603194
Kek, just started the phantom pain too
>>25603397
No, I hate socializing with people
Make a friend!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWGqDAuCNdI
>>25612955
writefag this, please dear god
>>25615316
will there be another installment?
>"I won't leave unless you make at least one friend, anon!"
>>25615316
>Okay, calm down Anon.
>You only are surrounded by a flaming apple orchard and one severely broke pony.
>Well, there is only one thing to do.
>Time to go back in time and stop yourself from this happening ever.
>...She is just walking slowly towards you now.
>No time for that, it's time to head back to the castle.
>On your way back, you just so happen to run into Discord.
>"Why hello there Anonymous, it sure is looking lively from where you're running."
"No time for that Discord, Twilight's Castle. NOW."
>You keep running toward there whether he follows or not.
>He is thankfully.
>Upon arriving you enter the main room and take a deep breath.
"Okay Discord, I completely fucked up. Now I need to find a way to go back in time and not do what I just did."
>"And I suppose you'll need this."
>With a snap of his fingers a scroll appears out of thin air.
"What is this?"
>"Oh something that I kept as a keepsake, but it'll let you travel back in time and-"
>You hear steps coming from the hall.
>..SHES STILL FOLLOWING
>As Applejack made her way into the room she was still walking at a relatively slow pace towards you.
>Discord snaps his fingers and a cage falls on the mental horse.
>"There, that will solve one problem for yo-"
>All you hear is metal beams just bending violently as if they were living and screaming.
>She's no longer normal.
>For this world anyway.
>You have turned a normal pony into something...else.
>A very dark aura seems to emanate from her.
>Discord has the most serious face right now.
>"...Anonymous, you need to go. And fix this."
>It's not like him to have this serious of a expression.
>Have you fucked up so bad that even a god of chaos is now concerned?
>>25627831
But doesn't that make you a friend then?
>>25612955
>>25627929
I love this
>>25603397
Yeah, but I'd be as obnoxious as always so they probably wouldn't make that mistake twice.
>>25627929
>It's a beautiful night outside
>Birds are singing
>Trees are burning
>On days like these Anons like you
>Should be burning in hell
Bumping threads.
>It's just what friends do.
>>25603092
You're a Mary Sue cunt and friendship is shit. Deal with it, Princess Prissy.
Farewell Thread;
ol' buddy
ol' pal
We lived, we laughed, wecame [/soiler]
And it was fuckin glorious.
>And now, I lay me down to perish.
>Into the murky, bottomless depths of the internet I must succumb
>For out of them we have come, and into them we shall return.
>Never again will these keks be keked
>Never again shall these gifs be saved
>Never again will the tier of the green be in such splendor.unless you're not such a newfag that you actually know the ways of the paste bin.
I mean really, nothing on the internet is /really/ gone forever.your mom was right anon,the internet is a dangerous place
>>25603092
No! It's cold and boring outside. Let me enjoy my vidya...HOLY SHIT A TALKING HORSE
fuck y-y-you purple horse.
>>25603397
Probably. Depends on what they want to do.
>>25603433
1. Pretend to be interested in what they're interested in.
2. Pretend to care.
3. Listen to what they say, commit to memory the things the other person thinks are important, and then bring them up again later.
4. Don't be a giant, slavering spazz.
>>25633175
whatever chad
>>25633162
Well, yeah
Maybe. I've said both no and yes.
It depends, dude.
>>25633175
This. Making friends is easy with just a little spine.
Getting rid of them takes a bit more spine and is much, much harder.
Have fun, OP.
>>25633209
>Getting rid of them
I don't think you understand the magic of friendship very well.
>>25633214
I don't think you've had friends before.
>>25633232
sh..shuttup
>>25633254
Why do i relate to this image so easily?
>>25633209
To be honest family, it's as easy as getting rid of a tulpda, just ignore and avoid them.
>>25603397
Probably not. People think I'm a huge normie (because I look like one), so the only ones who would ask me are normies, too.
And I share exactly zero hobbies or interests with them.
>hey anon, did you watch this reality TV show?
>no
>... okay, but did you see this sport match?
>no
>but you like getting completely shitfaced on the weekends, right?
>no
>a'ight, see you another time
