>"Anon? What is a 'bible'?"
>>25562114
One of my favouritemythologybooks
>>25562114
It's a powerful item, Twiggy
>Upon activation, the player grows angel wings and gains the ability to fly for that room. Using the Bible on Mom or Mom's Heart/It Lives will result in an instant kill. Using the Bible on Satan or Isaac will instantly kill the player, but with The Wafer this is reduced to half a red heart and all soul hearts. It will not kill the player if used on ???, however. The flight effect will be granted as usual.
http://bindingofisaac.wikia.com/wiki/The_Bible
>>25562114
https://youtu.be/9FheUCn5GKw
>>25562114
It tells us how humans were created by God to rule the universe and how animals are just dumb soulless husks here for our amusement/food.
>>25562114
It's a book that Christians use to determine how they're supposed to live. Despite some of the good values taught by the books, it has a lot of improbable stories and is based on 2000 year-old traditions and values that not everyone accepts nowadays.
Also, the Lutheran bible is an incorrect version, and as a good Christian it's my obligation to burn those and replace them with King James's unabridged version.
>>25562114
It's an extremely popular book with a large fanbase, Twee.
You should read it and join the fanbase.Greentext of Anon tricking Twoi into acting like a biblethumper?
>>25562114
Tis a book.
>>25562199
Dubs demand it
>>25562199
to be honest it is a pretty good read when you get past the ye olde language.
>Start up earth like a civ 4 game
>Flood everyone for being so shitty and start over
>Survivors are still shitty and build a big ass tower after trying to cancel it
>]: sv_scramble chat 1
>People get sent everywhere
>Slavery, famine, wars, and religious killings
>instructions on how to cosplay
>Disembowelment of evil kings and queens
>Angles smiting people and shit for opening a golden box with angles on it (around 10,000 ish)
>Lich Jesus doing cool shit like raising dead people, dodging taxes, and respawning in 3 days
>Also giving some sick-ass burns to those who question him
>Taking animals
10/10 novel material right there.
>>25562114
A book of lies.
>>25562560
>The final boss is anti-Jesus himself
>The final chapter has trumpet-playing angels, Satanic ghidorahs, locust swarms and Satan
>Get the good end as Satan and Antichrist are doomed to fire and brimstone for eternity
Remind me why the Bible isn't a video game yet, but then we had a multi-thread CYOA about a hermaphrodite Jesuspone with an afro?
>>25562114
It's a fanfic which people take way too serious.
>>25562114
It's a good book, but if you take anything from it, make sure it's the new Testament. God wasn't a happy camper until he had a son.
>>25562114
The most overrated fanfiction of all time.
>>25562114
Samson was my favorite character
>inb4 Hercules rip off
>>25562560
9/11 bretty gud
GODDAMN THIS IS THE SECOND BIBLE THREAD I'VE SEEN THIS MORNING. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW BAD I WANNA BE A MISSIONARY IN EQUESTRIA. Shut would be tight af. I would call celestia a heretic, then preach the good news right there in the fucking castle.
>>25562114
You shouldn't be doing drugs, Twilight.
>>25562199
>"I have to be honest, Anonymous, I can't even quite follow the structure of the Genesis part. I haven't touched the book since yesterday, and you know me! I never do that."
"Well I mean, that's fine and all, the book wasn't made for anyone at a low reading level."
>"Excuse me?"
You plant your hands on your back and stretch forward casually.
"I MEAN, sometimes you just gotta admit when a book is going to be too challenging to understand. Not everyone loves books as much as humans, Twilight."
>You can see entire universes forming and crumbling in her eyes, fires burning and extinguishing and civilizations growing and falling.
>Pride cometh before the fall.
>"There's not a single book I can't understand!" Twilight finishes with a loud huff.
"Awesome. You're going to love the fanbase."
>"...It has a fanbase?"
"The biggest. You won't be able to find a single person that doesn't love it."
>How can she not read it now?
"Heck, if you didn't love it, I'd almost be ready to cross you off as a... blasphemer."
>"Huh?"
"NOTHING. Here, go read your book. We can totally meet up tomorrow and talk about it."
>And just like that, the little pony was off to read one of the most influential and controversial novels in human history.
>More importantly, it was time to see what Equestria would look like with Christianity.
>This couldn't possibly have any reverberations.
>>25562560
the ye olde language is really only part of some translations like the king james.
most other bible translations are more in the vernacular and, in fact, the original manuscripts themselves were in more everyday language of the time as opposed to the elevated language the king james translators used out of reverence.
>>25562683
>It was another typical morning in the world of stupid rainbow palette horses.
>You began your morning routine by taking a jog through some of the more bustling parts of town.
>On your way through, you noticed a small commotion in front of the coffee shop.
"Huh."
>"...and as the Princess of Friendship, I hereby decree that this heathen establishment be closed down permanently!"
>WHAT
>You run up to the crowd, only to see Twilight tearing up the deed to the property, surrounding by ponies expressing a spectrum of heart-breaking emotions.
>Even the mayor was sitting out of this one.
>"You can't do this!" one pony cried.
>"I can! And I will! Because there is nothing more important than your salvation!"
>...This can't be right.
>"...Anonymous! There you are! Oh, you wouldn't believe the luck I had with your book!"
"Yeah, Twilight, listen--we need to ta--"
>"AFTER I finished reading it, I found a SEQUEL! Isn't that exciting?"
>Sequel? Oh no--
>"And one of the most important things is keeping caffeine out of our diets!"
>nnnoooOOOOO!
>"It's called--!"
>NNNNOOOOOOOOO
>"The Book--!"
>NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN--
>"Of Mormon!"
>OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
>The crowd continued to clamor all around you.
>You felt like you were shrinking into a void that continued to weigh infinitely down on you.
>"And there's going to be some big changes around here!"
>Jesus Christ--
>"And our friendships are going to be stronger than ever!"
>--Of Latter Day Saints.
>>25562745
>>25562745
>A week had passed since the Java family had closed up shop.
>The guilt was still haunting you like a ghost.
>You had been practicing the speech you'd deliver to Twilight.
>And it had to be right or else the world would be doomed.
"Maybe I can just... go up to her, say it was all just a funny prank and that everyone would forget about it in like a week. Yeah."
>Your pencil continued to roll between your index finger and thumb.
>Suddenly, the door to your room swung open.
>"Anonymous!"
>Oh God.
>"Why haven't you gotten dressed yet? You're going to be late for Ponyville's premiere first day of church!"
>"Rarity and I already cleaned up that abandoned cathedral that was on the side of town! I'm so excited!"
>You stood up and began searching for your Sunday best.
"Alright, I'll be there in a jiffy."
>Wait, she wasn't actually forcing the entire town to show up, was she?
>...
>You arrived at the front doors, which seemed to tower over you.
>Yeah, you can feel the fear of God slowly seeping back into your bones.
>Upon entering, you quickly notice almost every seat is almost full.
>Shit.
>Planting your ass firmly into one of the only remaining seats, which was of course in the front row, you begin staring at the ground and asking yourself what lead up to this.
>You didn't notice it walking in, but there was a caged lamb in the front corner behind Twilight, who was now cycling through a thick stack of index cards, undoubtedly containing her first sermon.
>A feeling of unease was draped over you like a wet blanket.
>>25562828
>You heard a knock at the door.
"I'm not in heeeeeere."
>"Anonymous! Is this about the lamb?"
>Yes.
"Noooo."
>The day had gone well into the evening, and you were still hiding under your covers.
>Maybe it was safe from her here.
>"Anonymous, listen! The blood of the lamb will keep us safe and in God's good graces. It was just a small sacrifice!"
>ojp;iajsidjf
"Yeeeaaah, sounds good" you yelled back.
>What had you done?
>The entire town had to see that little display.
>None of the parents had time to cover their fillies' eyes.
>None of the ponies had a second to look away.
>"And thanks to you, Ponyville is doing better than ever!"
>No going back.
>"I could definitely see the fear of God in everypony's faces!"
>No going back.
>"...Well, I'm going to be making more pamphlets with Pinkie Pie! She's making sure they look really friendly for ponies that don't get it yet."
"Sounds gooooood."
>Please go away.
>"After all, we're going to need some able-bodied ponies ready for their missions soon!"
>It was only a matter of time.
>"We're going to make sure our message of God and friendship reach every corner of Equestria! Maybe even the world!"
"Tuh...Twuh..."
>You couldn't get the words out. This was too horrifying.
>"I just can't imagine where we'd be right now without you, Anonymous!"
>>25562653
GODDAMN THIS IS THE SECOND BIBLE THREAD I'VE SEEN THIS MORNING. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I WANNA BE FUCKED IN THE MISSIONARY STYLE IN EQUESTRIA. My ass would be tight af. I would get fucked by CelestIa like a heretic, then preach my love for pleasure right there in the fucking castle.
>>25562114
A book. Pretty fun story.
>>25562114
Ot was a book made by Muslims and Islam but had been corrupted by christianity.
[Spoiler]*Grabs popcorn*
>>25562904
>>25562904
How to ruin Equestria with one action: the guide.
>>25562114
A book.
You'd be shelving it in your fiction section.
>>25562114
Well, Twilight, bibles are the holy tenets of a particular religion. Different religions generally use different ones, but some share. Most bibles tend to be a bit all over the place, at times acting like a story book, a record of tribe history, a collection of political theory, or a song book.
It's kind of a touchy subject too. To some people bibles are the word of god, to others mythology, and to others just literature.
TLDR, a whole bunch of different books jammed together that are considered holy by some people.
>>25563362
Here, try reading Exodus. You might like it since it has a magic duel in it. Imagine if under the reign of King Sombra there was an adopted pony with a bad temper named Moses, and he used his magic to force Sombra to let all the ponies go free.
>>25562114
a collection of fables , people take WAAAAAAAY to serious
>>25562745
>tfw live in utah>tfw not mormon
>>25562156
/thread
>>25562728
>>25563522
Like this?
>>25562114
Bible
ˈbʌJb(ə)l/
noun
the Christian scriptures, consisting of the Old and New Testaments.
"Bible stories"
the Jewish scriptures, consisting of the Torah or Law, the Prophets, and the Hagiographa or Writings.
a copy of the Christian or Jewish scriptures.
noun: bible; plural noun: bibles
>>25562114
It's just some religious book don't worry about it
It's some stupid fan fic about some Mary Sue that comes back from the dead or something like that.
You wouldn't be interested in it.
>>25565383
i´ve always wondered
is that a good read ?
is it entertaining ?
>>25565809
If you like being amused by narrow-minded fanaticism, then yeah; it's a good read.
>>25562683
>>25562745
>>25562828
>>25562904
>>25562114
"Bible" is a word that means "book" in Latin, which is a dead language on Earth. We use Latin to name a lot of things since it doesn't change much over time since it isn't used. A problem you might not comprehend well since your language doesn't seem to have changed much if at all in the past millennium. But anyway, the most common book for a long long time was a religious one, since its practitioners would create many copies of the book by hand before the invention of the printing press. It got the name of "bible" because of this.
>>25562944
Here's your reply
>>25565809
Entertaining? It's well written and not at all dull so I guess. Read it yourself instead of taking the opinions of the fedora tipping Sunset fag though. Should be easily available on torrents too.
>>25566569
Not sure if you're referring to me, Even then, I'm against both organized religion and mainstream science, since they're two sides of the same coin, as far as I'm concerned.
>>25565809
Richard Dawkins has nothing new or interesting to say on the topic of God or religion. It's a pleb-tier book.
Check about Arguing about Gods by Graham Oppy or Logic and Theism by JH Sobel if you want to engage with the current literature.
>>25562144
>>25562232
I think the previous dubs state quite clearly that she should play The Binding of Isaac instead.
