>"Oh boo hoo Anon. Do you need me to call the wambulance? Stop being such a pussy."
But I can't tolerate having my Internet reputation ruined!
>>25556545
But Rarity called me obese.;_;
>>25556545
"Stop being such a pussy," ooh, hurf durf, funny fucking joke. Get Twilight to change me back already, being your cunt is boring. You won't even schlick me.
>>25556587
That post gave me the weirdest boner
>>25556545
DASH
PLEASE HELP
>>25556545
Welp
Time for >rape again
Someone's gotta keep you in place around here
>>25556545
You bucked me, IN THE BALLS!
Fuck you rainbow! You can buy another couch. What am I gonna a do about my legs?!
>rainbow dash shake her head as you crawl away.
I SHOULD'VE NEVER GAVE YOU NIGGAS MONEY!
>>25556545
You shits with hooves will never understand the pain of hitting your pinky toe with a corner
>>25556573
That's fucking disgusting.
>>25556545
YOU PUNCHED ME IN THE FUCKING NUTS, YOU CUNT, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU EXPECT?
>>25556545
You're one to talk Rainbow Krust. You couldn't handle it when your turtle went into hibernation. You're the only pussy around here.
>>25556573
>CAN'T WAKE UP
>>25557463
You get back by dropkicking her right in the cunt when she least expects it.
>>25556573
>>>/b/
>>25557463
What the fuck is wrong with this guy's face?
>>25556545
>You grab her wing and violently bend it
>She screams as it breaks
>"AHHH! Why did you do that?!"
>The mare continues to scream as she falls to the ground
"Oh, boo hoo. Do you need me to call the wambulance?!"
>You groan, blood spurting slowly out your leg
>Soon, the wambulance in question comes and picks you both up
>As the heart monitor to beep, you hear a pair of lips smack from behind the curtain next to you
>"All right... I'll admit, I went too far. The pranking got a little crazy, I realize that now. I'm sorry."
"Yeah, same... And about breaking your wing."
>You are Anon
>And your pranking days are over
>>25556545
no i need you to call the police and report the violent face-rape of a dyke pegasus and they can advise the Wambulance team as they see fit.
Not that good with green, but let's have a go
>been in the land of horses for a couple of years already
>shit's so cash
>it's generally what you expected, considering you doing nothing but watching the show before you got here
>well, except they actually talk shit and aren't 100% into friendship n shit
>notbad.png
>you walk into your house that took you a fair amount of work to earn, but a hell of a lot better than sleeping with Flutters
>like, seriously, it smells like a fuckin barn in there
>anyways
>you unlock your front door and step in and...
>are you shitting me
>of course top cunt just has to be freeloading off your shit
"Do you horses really find it necessary to make such a mess in other people's homes?"
>"I swear to god Anon keep calling me a horse and I'm going to have to do more than eat your shit"
"And what're you gonna do 'bout it, faggot? Turn me into a skittle?"
>"Watch it, green ape. I can do more than just fly fast"
"Try me, sanic horse"
>"That's it!"
>she stamps her hoof down as hard as she can on your big toe
>you stand there for a second, taking it in
>ow
"GG no re bluefast, thanks for the limp for the next couple days"
>"Oh boo hoo Anon. Do you need me to call the wambulance? Stop being such a pussy"
>it is time
>your years of shitposting has trained you for this very moment
"Sure thing skittlehair, that'd be real great. While you're at it I'm going to clean the shit you made"
>little does she know, you brought a vacuum with you on your little journey to magical horse land
>"That's right, pleb, make sure to clean up the cereal too"
"Sure thing boss"
>you say as you pull the vacuum out of your closet
>years of training
>for this moment
>you very visibly plug it into the wall so rainbow can see it
>"And what the hell is that? Another one of your shitty human inventions?"
"Hey, you're actually right for once. Maybe you're becoming an egghead"
>"Yeah, yeah, whatever"
>*click*
>VRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
>>25558243
please don't tell me this is what I think it is
>>25557487
kek
>>25558243
... proceed.
>>25558243
It's the prequel to the whole vacuum incident. You brilliant motherfucker.
>>25556573
>>25558243
>"OH SHIT NIGGER WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"
>calling her surprised is an understatement
>she looks like a cat when their tails get all poofy and scared as shit
>oh this'll be good
"Your worst nightmare, top cunt"
>you quickly lunge it at her direction
>"WHAT'S IT DOING! ANON MAKE IT STOP YOU DICKHEAD"
"Can't hear you over the sound of me cleaning up your mess, shithead"
>you slowly back her up into a corner, her life flashing before her eyes
"Any last words, rainbow?"
>"hh...hhhh...a.."
>she's too scared to talk
>perfect
>you slowly move it towards her tail
>here_it_comes.png
>VRRRRRFRFRFRFFRFFFFRRFRFR
>you vacuum'd her tail
>and she looks like she's having a stroke
>just as planned
>she projectile shits and pisses as she passes out
>right into the vacuum
>you turn off the vacuum and take a look at what you've done
>a crippled cunt in your living room
>missioncomplete.avi
>now it's time to haul ass out of here before the bitch wakes up and beats the shit out of you
>or even worse, fasts you
>you quickly unplug the vacuum and insert a battery port to use it on the go
>you'll be needing this later for sure
>you slide the vacuum on your back and book it into town
>speaking of books...
>a wild book horse as appeared!
>"Oh hi Anon! What're you doing in such a hurry? And what's that on your back?"
"Oh don't worry about me, but what I have here is an advanced piece of human technology"
>"Oh boy! What does it do?"
"You know how you need Spike to clean the library all day?"
>"Mmmmhmm. He's pretty good at it too."
"Well imagine doing a days work of cleaning in only minutes"
>"Really!? Anon! Come with me! I need to see this firsthand! Come with me quickly"
>you're quickly taken to purplesmart's treehouse
>oh yeah, this is taking place before it burned down
>a shame you can't tell them beforehand, but oh well
>anyways, at least you have a place to hide for when dash wakes up
>for now
>as you head in, you see spike
>of course doing nothing of revelation, per usual
>>25556545
Nigga you cut my dick off.
It kinda hurts.
>>25558357
>"So Anon, how does this contraption work, exactly? I haven't seen something quite like this before. It must be controlled by magic, no?"
"Nope. We didn't have anything magic on my planet, but we had advanced engineering."
>"Ohh how exciting! Well wouldn't you mind using it to show me just how it works?"
>don't_mind_if_I_do.png
>without saying a word, you set the vacuum to 'Reverse' and prepare for blastoff
>you turn on the vacuum
>VRRFRRRRRRBRBFBRBRBBFRBF
>the shit/piss tincture rainbow dash made will surely do the job
>at the speed of sound it shoots out of the vacuum and hits chocolate milk point-blank in the face
>spike's face can only be described as if a clown tripped someone off the titanic
>a reaction of hilarity, and sheer horror
>before twilight can even react, you quickly set the vacuum back to 'Succ' and aim it back at twilight
>"ANON WHAT IN THE UNHOLY CHRIST"
>oh boy here it comes
>you stick it right back in her face
>it begins to suck up her face, and the shit and piss that was all over her
>but not all of it
>VVVFRFRFRFRRFFRFRRFVVVR
>glancing back Spike isn't even upstairs anymore
>pussy probably jumped out the window
>looking back twilight's having a damn near heart attack
>you pull the vacuum off of her face and she's in tears
>"A....Anon... why...."
>FINISH HIM
>you shove the vacuum right up against her ass
>VRRRRRFRRRFRFRFRRFR
>Shit/Piss Tincture: 2x
>a job well done
>you quickly rub your vacuum battery on twilight's horn to get some magic juices
>oddly enough it worked
>and now your vacuum has a x3 succ/reverse buff
>you leave the library asap, milk tipper to be last seen as a crippling, shitty mess on the floor
>"ANONYMOUS I'M GOING TO FUCKING MURDER YOU!"
>you look in the distance
>oh shit
>bluefast coming in... fast
"GOTTA BLAST!"
>you hop on your vacuum and set it back to 'Reverse'
>time for a literal shitstorm
>you turn the vacuum on and blast off to sweet apple acres
>>25558485
More?
>>25558485
>as you zoom above ponyville you shower the streets in shit and piss
>it's glorious
>you look back and rainblow cash isn't to be seen
>you must've lost her
>as you crash land into sweet apple acres you begin to realize how bad of an idea it was
>oh well
>nothing but a sprained ankle
>...
>as you walk through the apple orchard like you own the place, you notice the big red
>or as you nicknamed him, 'Eeyup'
>now's your time to shine
>and hope you don't get bucked in the chin
>you begin to walk up to him and he begins to notice you
"Nice day isn't it Big Mac?"
>"Eeyup"
"Alright well I need to get rid of this thing but do you like the sound of a device that can pull all the apples off every tree in the orchard in seconds, no bucking involed?"
>he seems a bit confused but understood
>"Eeyup"
"So before I lend it to you, want to see how it works before I hand it over?"
>"Eeyup"
>perfect
>you change the vacuum back to 'she succ' and prepare for a 50/50 chance to either get killed by a horse, or get killed by another horse minutes later
>eh, chances are fair
>you turn on the vacuum
>and his face goes from uncaring to the face of a murder victim in an instant
>there's no time to dick around this time, straight to the point
>eheh, dick around
>you put it right on his meat cane
>she_succ.png
>his face then goes from murder victim to a mix of horror and 'she succ'
>VRRRBRBRBRBRBRRR
>in only seconds he fills the vacuum to the brim with his stallion juices
>almost too much
>you quickly turn it off and back up
>big mac passed out from both the horrors of the vacuum, and the power of the succ
>poor fella
>then you hear it
>the dreaded rainboom
>oh fuck oh shit oh dear
>it's happening
>you've been ready for this very moment
>you look up and see an enraged sanic horse ready to kill
>your time as cum
>you turn your vacuum back to 'Reverse' and prepare yourself
>you begin to accept your fate
>for the mighty hath fallen
>she's getting close
>closer...
>closeerrr.....
>NOW
>>25556545
Fuck you, whorse. You don't have to work 12 hours on a Black Friday at Sheckles Dept. Store.
How do you ponies even have this day, anyway?!
>>25558609
Do ponies even have a Thanksgiving?
>>25556573
>>25558629
Next season.
>>25558629
Maybe something like it. Like a "Family Bonding Day" or some other crap.
Which is just everyone gorging on apple pie and watching hoofball.
>>25558602
This is amazing
>>25558602
>VRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
>with that x3 buff, the horse semen comes rocketing out of the vacuum with extreme force
>you almost fall on your ass
>with all those hours spent playing counter strike and cod of duty, your precise aim is just what you needed
>BOOM HEADSHOT
>you keep spraying at the horse flying at you at the speed of sound
>and it's barely working
>but it's working
>she's losing speed!
>she's also drenched in horse cum
>a large feat for a dyke
>as you begin to run low on your horse juices, as does she
>you both stop at the same time
>or more like, you stop spraying, and she begins to just fall down to the ground
>with a small splat, she hits the ground, drenched in horse semen
>it's also now raining semen
>gross
>she looks up at you, a small hint of defeat in her eyes
>"Anon... why..."
"Oh boo hoo. Do you need me to call the wambulance? Stop being such a pussy"
>the last words she hears as she passes out from exhaustion after being blasted by a wave of semen
>a big step for Anonymous, but small feat for ponykind
>for another day, will be decided the fate of anonymous
>will hilarity ensue,
>or will revenge be paid upon anonymous
>only fate will tell...
>in...
>Shitlord in Equestria
Fin~ (for now...?)
>>25558700
Moar is required
>>25558719
So now that I'm done writing what I'd call a mediocre story, how shall I continue with this story?
Shall I go on through with all of the main6 then the princesses as the original VacuumAnon did, or branch off differently?
Mainly taking requests from this point, since I'm not that great with writing or improvising that well
>>25558737
Id say continue like the original.
As for your writing skills, they are actually pretty good.Keep it coming, bruh.
>>25558807
Alright I'm gonna fuck around for the next hour to see if I can get any more suggestions, and think of some better ideas for how to continue. Then I'll begin to write.
Sorry for anyone who wants it on a "right now" time scale. I'm just not as creative as others may be
>>25556545
no blue horse! you are of vagina not ivanon!
>"well then jump it.. its not that far."
jump is of far! is across big hole in ground!
>"well then if you are too scared to jump it i will."
that would be of not helpings. blue horse have wing, ivanon no wing!
>"pffft whatever. see you on the other side monkey boy!"
>as blue horse go to be the fly, ivanon grabbings her leg
>"ah! what the hay are you doing!?"
ivanon not vagina blue horse! ivanon share fate."
>blue horse is of strugglings to keep in air.
>"ivanon! you're too heavy!"
is blue horse the boo hooing? i call baby plane! you stop being of the vagnia!
>>25558848
>i am of havings the writing block.Keep it coming, the others don't need to know.
>>25558893i will the trying.
>>25558737
maybe vacuumanon vs the villains?
vacuum anon vs chryssy.
vacuumanon vs tirek.
vacuumanon vs starlight.
>>25556573
>Sure, just fuck my shit up!
>>25559213
Alright well I'm more tired than I thought so I'm gonna head to bed and extend the story a bit with a majority of suggestions when I wake up n stuffs
Now I'll leave it to the yurofags to keep the thread up. If thread is ded when I wake up I'll likely just leave the story to die, so yeah don't disappoint, and neither will I
Also pic related is small spoiler for what I plan to start the story back up with, for the appulfags ITT
>>25558737
anyone have the original story?
f-for science...
>>25559331
Requesting this
A quick one-shot.
>"Oh boo hoo Anon. Do you need me to call the wambulance? Stop being such a pussy."
"Are you shitting me right now? You Sonic Rainboom my ass and you expect me to be like 'Oh yeah this is great!'?"
>"For christs sake Anon it's not like I hurt you that bad!"
"MY LEG IS BROKEN AND I JUST PUKED A FUCKING RAINBOW HOW IS THIS OKAY YOU CUNT"
>"Calm the fuck down you baby"
"Since when is puking rainbows and a broken leg perfectly okay you psycho bitch?"
>"Since when is it okay to hang out with my friends you cock?"
---
>fuckthis.jpg
"Yeah whatever you jealous horse I'm just gonna go fuck Twilight and get my leg patched up. Maybe eat some ice cream with Pinkie Pie without you"
>her face when
>Anon turns away and walks into town with a big wide smile
>Renboe Dosh tackles him and beats the shit out of him
>Bad End - 'Feel the Burn' Edition
>>25556573
>Such edge.
>Needs edgy song for edge zone.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCiFO7qV54E
>This is now edgy fucking thread.
>>25559891
Gonna do 2 more endings for lels
Hope someone likes 'em
A quick one-shot.
>"Oh boo hoo Anon. Do you need me to call the wambulance? Stop being such a pussy."
"Are you shitting me right now? You Sonic Rainboom my ass and you expect me to be like 'Oh yeah this is great!'?"
>"For christs sake Anon it's not like I hurt you that bad!"
"MY LEG IS BROKEN AND I JUST PUKED A FUCKING RAINBOW HOW IS THIS OKAY YOU CUNT"
>"Calm the fuck down you baby"
"Since when is puking rainbows and a broken leg perfectly okay you psycho bitch?"
>"Since when is it okay to hang out with my friends you cock?"
---
>fuckthis.jpg
>Years of shitposting gives you a wave of courage
>Yes
>You're feeling it now Mr. Krabs
>rape
"SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE WANTS TO GET RAPED AGAIN"
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmEXbgVmzR0
>"ANON NO"
>But it was too late
>For Anon had already booped her on the nose, making the poor mare faint
L-Lewd... End - 'Taste the Rainbow' Edition
>>25559891
>>25559925
>"Oh boo hoo Anon. Do you need me to call the wambulance? Stop being such a pussy."
"Are you shitting me right now? You Sonic Rainboom my ass and you expect me to be like 'Oh yeah this is great!'?"
>"For christs sake Anon it's not like I hurt you that bad!"
"MY LEG IS BROKEN AND I JUST PUKED A FUCKING RAINBOW HOW IS THIS OKAY YOU CUNT"
>"Calm the fuck down you baby"
"Since when is puking rainbows and a broken leg perfectly okay you psycho bitch?"
>"Since when is it okay to hang out with my friends you cock?"
---
>For fucks sake
"Is that what that was about? You know we're only friends right?"
>"And that's the issue you dense monkey! They were my friends long before you ever were and now you're taking them away from me!"
"Geez, who would've thought you can only have friends to yourself. I know! Maybe you can tell the Princess of Friendship all about how you think only you can be their friends! I bet she'd love such a breakthrough in the study of friendship!"
>"What's your point egghead?"
"I'm saying to quit being a cunt about it. I can be their friend if I want to, and if you have a problem with it, it can easily be taken up to Twilight that you haven't learned anything about the subject in all the years you've known her"
>"You wouldn't dare"
"Then learn to deal with it. I'm not fucking them, we're only friends for christs sake. Just deal with it"
>"Have it your way, just don't try anything or I'll make sure you walk away with more than a broken leg and a gay pride dyed shirt next time"
"Sure thing dosh"
Good End - Friendship Edition
And that's all I got.
>>25559331
>>25559795
Also requesting this. I've seen it already but saving it would be pretty nice
>>25559237
WOpWopWPoP
Night bump
>>25560914
Morning bump
>>25561736
page 10 beop
>>25558700
Alright time to write a little bit.
~Previously on Shitlord in Equestria~
>Rainbow Dash looks up at you, a small hint of defeat in her eyes
>"Anon... why..."
"Oh boo hoo. Do you need me to call the wambulance? Stop being such a pussy"
>And out like a light Rainbow Dash is, from pure exhaustion of the power blast put upon her
>'Tis a big step for Anonymous, to make a dyke pass out from semen
>Yet, a small feat for Ponykind
~Present Time~
>Alright well you've managed to cripple 3 ponies now, one of them twice
>Now what...
>"Ahnon.. w-what happened here..?"
>Sigh
>You were going to spare the fillies
>Seems not
>Shitlord in Equestria - No Survivors Edition
>You turn to face Applebloom with the best reassuring smile you can muster
>Congrats Anon you probably look like a maniac
>Oh well
"Oh nothing Applesauce, Big Mac was just trying out this new piece of human technology I brought with me from my homelands!"
>"Then what the hay happened to Rainbow Dash? And... why's she all sticky lookin'?"
"Oh she just got into the crossfire of Big Mac using our new toy. She's fine"
>"If yah say so. What does that thing even do anyways?"
"Ah you see Appleflower, it can do whatever you want! It can even give you a..."
>Wait for it
"CUTIEMARK"
>(As I said this was when the library was still up, so no assmarks for CMC right now either)
>"REALLY!? LEMME SEE LEMME SEE!"
>Jesus christ kid calm down
"Alright for it to work you need to be standing completely still and look at me. Like a statue"
>"Alraht, now what"
"Now just stay like that and let me do this and you'll get whatever you wish"
>You nonchalantly flick the vacuum back to 'Succ' and ready your aim
>Considering how bad the mares reacted to it, you question how a filly will react
>Can't hurt to find out
>Or maybe it will...
>Oh well
>Click
>VRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
>Onto her snout it goes
>"AHNONWHATTHEHAYGETTHISOFFMYFACEAHHHHHHHH!"
>Fuck me my ears
>Her face begins to morph into the vacuum like putty
>>25556545
>Anon immediately flips out his phone and plays the entirety of the crying scene from Tanks for the Memories
>"You were saying?"
>>25563110
>It's almost like she's becoming one with the vacuum
>Fukkin noice
>There's the spasms you were waiting for
>Poor girl's floppin' like a fish
>You yank the vacuum off her face with all your might to get it off
>And holy kek she's just about lost it already
>For the final blow you stick the vacuum right where her cutiemark would be
>FINISH HIM
>And for good measure, vacuum over underage plot and pooper for more ammunition
>VRRRFRFRRFRFRRRFFRFR
>And you get every last drop from her as she passes out from shock
>Click
>You stand over 3 Passed out horses and admire your work
>You feel like a god
>Unstoppable
>But no time to loli-gag
>Huehue
>Because it's only a matter of time before Applehorse finds you and fucks your shit up for what you did to her siblings
>You stroll your way out of the apple orchard towards Ponyville, wondering what you may do next
>You're already a dead man walking by this point, so you might as well keep going with the ride 'til it comes to a stop
>Maybe it's time to visit Pinkie Pie...
>She seems like a good choice
>As you begin to walk through Ponyville you notice something different
>There aren't as many ponies on the streets as usual
>And the ones that are look a little startled
>Must be all the VRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-ing
>Poor fucks can probably hear it from a mile away
>As you're about to walk into Pinkie's place, you begin to wonder how this is going to work out
>Pinkie sees everything as a joke, so what if she doesn't find it spoopy?
>Oh well, worst case scenario you succ up all her confetti n shit from the floor and book it
>Can't hurt to have some pretty colors with your... rather shitty ammunition
>Time for dramatic entrance
>You kick the door in and prepare for a mighty battle
"PONKA POE!"
>"Oh hi 'Nonny! I was just making some cake! Wanna try some!"
"I'm good Pinks, bu-"
>"C'mon Anon just try a bite! TRYIT!"
>Jesus tapdancing christ can you like, not
"Alright you walking cotton candy I'll try a fuckin bite"
>"YISSSSS"
>Hm
>Notbad
>>25563430
Alright gonna write more later, I'd write more but I can't stand doing something like this for too long at once. Gets excruciating by the end of it.
Again I'm taking suggestions for later on too. So if you think the story needs somethin don't be shy to bring it up.
bece
>>25557463
my sides
>>25556545
Sorry Dash, maybe you should chew those Waah-burgers and French-Cries with your mouth closed.
>>25556545
B-but Dash...h-he killed them all. They were all I had left and now...now...
Page 10 bump
>>25556545
>our faces when she jokes about us never having gotten laid before
>>25558485
I swear I read this "anon terrorizes all the pones with a vacuum" story a while back
Either that or we are living in the matrix and its glitching
>>25565878
Someone did write a vacuum story a while back, but this guy is just making his own version.
>>25565878
I'm doing a small parody of that story because I found it fitting.
And I'm continuing because people want me to keep it cummin
Either way, anyone have the original story for those who haven't seen it?
>>25565907
I would have a cap of it, but hard drive failure is a bitch
>>25565922
Fack
I had it a while ago but my hard drive got corrupted and had to get replaced, and so far haven't found the cap since
RIP Original VacuumAnon, his cap is merely a legend
>>25556545
>call the wambulance?
Yes! You fucking shot me!
>>25565948
Good thing derpibooru is here. Posting caps now.
That feel when you will never look to your side to see twilight sitting next to you
That feel when you will never snuggle up next to her on a cold winter's night
That feel when you will never be awoken by her at the middle of the night and feel her cold breath on your shoulder
That feel when you will never be cared about
That feel when you will never be loved
That feel when you will never be happy
>>25566056
>>25566066
>>25566071
Mah nigga
Now I only feel like shit because my story is nothing compared to this gold.
I plan to finish the story by tonight, hopefully a satisfying ending for you guys.
Godspeed, VacuumAnon
>>25556545
>You just stepped on a landmine.
>Your legs are blown off.
"Naw, just get me a band-aid"
>>25566128
>my story is nothing compared to this gold
Now that's where you're wrong, what you are doing is amazing.
>>25566226
Thanks m8
I've only wrote a handful of green so I wouldn't like to give myself much credit for my works. If you guys are sincere, it's some good inspiration. Once I'm done I would be up for some criticism though, since I got a feeling it can be at least written a little better.
Again I'll be finishing up by tonight so I guess keep the thread up and I'll be back
this thread is making me miss the old Human Technology in Equestria from a couple years ago
>>25567708
This thread is making me miss when
>>25566056
>>25566066
>>25566071
was actually being written
and it hurts knowing it was like 2 years ago when it happened
>>25567966
Time really does fly...Iloveyou guys. You're my only friends.
>>25568751
Don't be a faggot, Anon.
VacuumAnon 2.0 is back and ready to finish his story tonight
Gonna start writing in a couple of minutes, get hype
>>25569543
bump
>>25563430
"Not bad Plinko, but know what can make it better?
>"WHAT!?"
"CONFETTI!"
>You ever so quickly flip the switch from 'Succ' to 'Reverse' and turn the fucker on
>Click.avi
>VRRRRRRFBRBRBBRBFRBFRBFRBFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
>Oh shit
>It's fucking stuck
>This isn't good
>Anon's face when ammo's stuck in the poop chute
>"Anon I think your confetti cannon's broken..."
"No shit sherlock"
>"OH OH! I CAN FIX IT! LEMME SEE LEMME SEE!"
>Oh lord she has her face literally right in front of the vacuum tube
>VRFFFFFF---RRRRR-R-RFRBRRBRBFRBFRFBRFBF
>IT'S GONNA BLOW
>THONK
>As time seems to slow down, the most magnificent thing unfolds
>A literal small-scale cannon ball of shit shoots Ponks point-blank right in the face
>Pinkie immediately pukes fucking everywhere
>Puke on the floor
>Puke on the walls
>Puke on your shoes
>That last line made you cringe a little bit
>"Ah-Anon.... W-Why did you- *gag* do that.."
>"I thought w-we were f-f-friends..."
>She's crying
>You didn't sign up for this
>Oh wait
>Whelp, too far down the rabbit hole now
>You aim your vacuum at her face and flip the switch to 'Succ' again
>And now Pinkie's both flipping the fuck out AND crying
>Hoh boy
>You push the vacuum back and forth to Pinkie like you would a dog
>"AAAHHH.... AAHH.... AAHHH"
>This would almost be fun if she weren't pissing herself at the same time
>Oh well, time for the final blow before someone sees you
>With one swift shove you stick the vacuum to her belly
>"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHhhhhh.."
>And with pure horror in her eyes, she fades out of consciousness with shit and piss left behind
>You flip back to 'Succ' once more and vacuum up her waste and a big load of confetti, streamers, and others from the floors and walls, and leave with a rather large trace...
>To then walk right into Spike on your way out the door...
"We meet again..."
>"Uh... Please don't kill me?"
>Oh boy this'll be fun
>>25556545
FORZA NAPOLI!!!!
>>25569987
"Whatever do you mean Spike?"
>"I saw what you did to Twilight and Pinkie, Anon."
"Is that right?"
>"Uhh.. Yes...?"
"Well Spike, answer me this question right and you get home scot free"
>"And if I don't answer it right?"
"Then you get a special delivery from Pinkie herself"
>Spike's nervousness is obvious
>It is time
"What is feared most by Ponies, but feared least by Humans, and most helpful for Humans, but dangerous to Ponies"
>"How am I supposed to know that!?"
"You're starin' at it bud"
>"Wha-"
"ALLAHU ACKBAR"
>In the speed of sanic you flick from 'Succ' to 'Reverse' and turn that shit on
>VRRRRBRPBRRRPRBPVRBBPBRBVPRBP
>Point blank beam of shit, piss, confetti, and streamers right at his face
>But wait
>This isn't right
>He..
>He's...
>Pissed the fuck off
>Anon's face when
>"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
>Oh fuck oh shit oh dear
>Anon flips 'Reverse' to 'Succ' and braces for impact
>Spike draws in a big breath
>He's getting ready to make you a walking candle
>Gotta act fast for this
>And hope vacuums work they way you think they do...
>Yeah you're fucked
>And with all the force he can muster, Spork blows a huge trail for flame like a miniature flame thrower
"SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE PETE"
>VRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
>Holy fuck it's working
>THE VACUUM CAN SUCC MAGIC FIRE
>And as fast as it began, it faded, as Spike ran out of breath, and hope after he realized you just trapped a ball of magic fire into a vacuum like you're a mothafuckin ghostbuster
"Nice try walking football"
>And with a running start, Anon punts Spike with all his might
>Team_Rocket's_Blasting_Off_Again.mp4
>Ting.avi
>Well this was a rather interesting day so far
>But what shall you do with your now rocket-powered backpack?
>And just as you begin to think, you hear an all too known 'Bampf'
>Uh oh
>A very pissed off bookhorse has appeared!
>"WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR ISSUE YOU PSYCHO!"
>For the mighty hath fallen
>Oh wait
>New rocket vacuum
>Like a wise jimbles notrombo once said...
>>25570453
>New rocket vacuum
>Contrail is made of piss, shit, confetti, and fire
Holy shit, I don't even want to imagine the outcome
>>>25556573
I don't know what this post was, but from the butthurt it seems to have generated, it must have been good.
>>25570453
"GOTTA BLAST!"
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4rcBHtdUU8
>You hop on your sick ass vacuum and fly the fuck outta there
"TO NARNIA!"
>Or in other words, to the Canterlot Castle
>Minutes later...
"ALLAHU ACKBA-"
>And Anon crash lands through the Canterlot Castle's stained glass windows, right into Celestia's throne room
>"Well hello Anon. What a nice surprise!"
>Huh
>You'd think there'd be guards in here
>Oddly enough all you see is Sunny D Celly
>Drinking tea... alone..
>Huh
>Too bad you'll have to give her such bad news
>Considering how relaxed she is, even to the fact that you just broke a hole in her castle wall
>Anyways
"Well hello princess, how are you today?"
>"Thank you for asking Anonymous, I'm doing well. You?"
"Oh well I guess you can say it's been a pretty shitty day"
>It takes literally all of Anon's willpower, and then some, to not lose his sides to his carlos-tier shit
>"Well why's that for, Anonymous? Aren't you happy in ponyville?"
"Well yes, but you see, this machine on my back does wonders that only I can withstand, and I've been cleaning up such filth it's almost affected others around me"
>"What is that contraption, may I ask? It seems very... unique"
"Well it is an advanced piece of human tech that not many ponies can understand. And those who try go nuts!"
>"May I see what all the fuss is then, Anonymous? For me?"
>Well you can't say no to the sun now, can you?
"Oh well, if you insist. But I warn you Celestia..."
>Silently switch from 'Reverse' to 'For Succ's Sake'
>"Oh don't be silly Anonymous, what's the worst that can happ-"
>Click
>VRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
>"WAAAHH"
>And out of reflex, Celestia accidentally casts a magic missile at you
>And it gets sucked into your fucking vacuum
>THESE PONIES ARE ONLY FUELING THE FIRE
>LevelUp
>The vacuum upgrades from 'Twilight's Vacuumator Mk. II' to 'Sunny D's Magic Pack Mk. III'!
>Force Multiplier x3!
>Succ Multiplier x5!
>It's too late to turn back
>Your time has come
>And so have I
>>25570914
Sorry this has been taking so long btw, shit going on in house making it difficult to type
Anyways, back to typing....
>>25570914
>You slowly walk closer to the sun princess
>She doesn't like that one bit
>She tries to turn and run away
>But it is futile
>Her magic has made you-
>IT
>Stronger...
>And in only a 10 foot radius (or 3 meters kek), is all it takes to put her into your vacuumitational orbit
>SHE SUCC.png
>In mere seconds she goes from trying to run away, to being drug towards you ass-first
>Dat_Ass.unf
>And as it reaches the climax, the suction of the vacuum sticks her to the end of the hole
>Holy shit you can lift her over your heard
>It's like sticking styrofoam to a vacuum nozzle
>Only instead of styrofoam it's a horses ass
>And out like a light the sun goes, as she passes out from shock and excretes into the vacuum
>Jesus christ there's just no stopping you is there
>You stand there in amazement as you stand over the sun goddess of magical horse land
>All because of a vacuum
>SLAM
>What the fu-
>"ANONYMOUS STOP THIS INSTANT!"
>It can't be
>It's...
>The princess of the Moon...
>And her goddamned equestrian voice
>RIP ears
>"THIS HAS GONE ON FOR FAR TOO LONG ANONYMOUS AND IT WILL NOW COME TO A STOP!"
"How do you plan to stop me so fast in comparison to your sister and 1/2 of your elementals of harmonica or whatever?"
>"DON'T BE SO CONFIDENT MORTAL FOR WE HAVE MAGIC ON OUR SIDE"
"K"
>And a swift flick Anon gives to his little buddy as he again changes mode between 'Succ Mk. II' to 'Reverse Mk. II'
>As well as Luna, charging a magic bolt
>Click
>And at once, you fire a magic stream of shit, piss, confetti, fire, and literal magic missile out of your vacuum at Luna
>At the same time, Luna casting a beam of alicorn magicks straight to you
>Both beams fight each other, depending how hard Luna fights, getting closer or farther to actually hitting you
>But your vacuum's beam puts up a great fight, for you're just nearly there to breaking her magic beam
>CRACK
>You've done it!
>Luna is stunned and knocked on her ass, for her magic is proven unworthy to your vacuum
>>25571271
>"H-How could this be! Immortals ruined by a mere mortal and his petty machine! It's-It's blasphemy!"
"You're right. Maybe it's finally time to clean your act princess"
>And before she can react, you flip to 'Succ Mk. II' and click that shit on
>VRRRRWRRRRRWRRRRRWRRRRR
>And in an instant you have her in your grasp
>"NOOOOOOOOOOO"
"FOR THEE MIGHTY HATH FALLEN!"
>And just as poor Celly fell, as does Luna, out cold at the touch of the vacuum, and additional, excretional ammo to your machine
>And just as you think you're finally safe...
>BAMPF
>Oh for fuck's sake
>"WE'VE GOT YOU NOW ANON!"
"GIVE ME A FUCKIN BREAK JESUS CHRIST"
>It's the elementals of harmonica themselves
>Looks like they plan to make you taste the rainbow
>This_is_totally_not_good.png
>"ANON THIS HAS GONE ON FOR FAR TOO LONG"
"And you think you're any stronger than your oh-so-loved princesses over here? Bitchnigga I got alicorn magic over here"
>"There's no reasoning with him anymore! He's been corrupted! Now, girls!"
>This'll be interesting
>All of them begin to glow and their eyes turn pure white
>Oh lordy lordy
>It's happening
>As they begin to charge up their 'frendship magicks' you go ahead and switch again to 'Reverse Mk. II to Succ Mk. II'
>The_final_countdown.mp3
>TASTE_THE_RAINBOW.SHIIII-
>Click
>VRRRRRRWEWWRWRWWWRWRRRWRWRRWRWR
>THIS IS SOME LUIGI'S MANSION SHIT SENPAI
>YOU'RE SUCKING RAINBOW MAGIC INTO A VACUUM
>DON'T DO LSD KIDS
>It's getting harder to suck up all this power
>Your vacuum may not handle it
>But wait!
>The main6 are losing strength!
>Your vacuum will hold!
>It's happening!
>VVVVvvvvrrrrrrrrr......
>Your vacuum, triumphant against the powers of the land
>A very proud vacuum
>LevelUp
>Vacuum Upgrade!
>ALL STATS MAXED(10)!
"Any last words, little horses?"
>"Why?"
"git gud m8"
>And with that, Anon extracts the elemental magic from the main6 with his maxed out vacuum, along with the princess's alicorn magic
>Anon and his little vacuum have all the power in Equestria!
>>25571633
>With his newfound powers to do whatever he may please, he simply pulls down a little lever labeled "Banish" and turned a knob on the back to "Moon"
"Ahhh for thee mighty hath fallen... farewell my little ponies, for all it would have taken to prevent this was rainbow dash, not being toppest of the cunts."
>And on that last note, he 'Reverses' the main 6 and both princesses beams of his magic concoction, thus banishing them each to the moon, one by one. Powerless.
~Epilogue~
>It has been a year since the disappearance of the 6 elements of harmony and the 2 main rulers of Equestria.
>Along with the beginning of Anonymous's ruling
>Many tried to outright get rid of Anonymous and make him pay for his deeds
>But, no one could challenge him, for he was the most powerful of the land
>Anonymous, the Wielder of the Magic Vacuum
>Anonymous, the Human Alicorn
>Anonymous, a Pretty Princess
>Just as he'd always wanted
>And his wish is his command
Good End - Anonymous and his Vacuum of Power, or 'The Elemental Vacuum Mk. X' rule the lands together in "Harmony"
>>25571690
Now for criticism!
Just fuck my shit up
>>25571698
>>25571698
10/10, you should write porn now
>>25571945
I'm hoping you're joking (mostly so I don't want to write any more of this shit desu) but if you aren't, I've thought about it.
I just don't have the most confidence so when it comes to shit like this I merely wave it off as "nah it's shit"
Either way thx senpai
>>25572021
>desu
>senpai
fucking filters
boop before beep
>>25556545
"I only hang out with cool guys, like Discord."
