>"Wait, what do you mean 'you're a virgin'? Didn't anyone take your virginity on your cute-ceañera?"
>"Well this won't do! Hurry up anon, to my bedchambers! I'm so glad you told me, any longer and who knows what kind of powerful magic would have begun flowing through you."
>tfw Wizard powers are amplified in Equestria
>>25489801
>implying any magic can take my virginity.
>>25489801
>Cute-ceañera
WhatQuinceñera?Doesn't make sense at all
>>25489801
YOU CANNOT CONTAIN THE SPAGHETTIMANCER, LITTLE HORSE
>>25489828
DYEWTS?
>>25489801
im sorry love horse but i cannot. i have made a vow before man and god that i shall remain pure and untainted. my pleasure will come from protecting the weak and defeating my enemies. but i am touched by your kindness fair princess, and since i am far from home i pledge myself to your service. before myself and god i am bound to your service, as i believe was his plan from the beginning, ave maria, deus vult
>>25489828
>fan of the fandom detected
Someday, you might consider watching the show.
>>25489801
Okay Princess, but first you gotta dump that trash you call a husband, and become my personal slave. Then you have to give me full ownership of the Crystal Empire, so I can make it into a powerful force to satisfy my fetish for world domination.
>>25489853
what's with all this recent christfaggotry
>>25489801
>cute-ceañera
BUILD WALL
>Trump Anon saves the day, Amareica is safe
>>25489853
DEUS VULT!
>>25489863
Fawk off. /pol/ is calling for another crusade.
>>25489866
Fuck off fan of the fandom.
>>25489853
D E U S V U L T
E
U
S
V
U
L
T
>>25489853
>>25489863
>>25489879
>>>/trash/
>>25489830
>Anon's magic is literally just summoning a huge ass spaghetti
>After mere weeks on this world he has already covered half of Equestria in tomato sauce and noodles
>He doesn't even do it out of maliciousness, he just likes standing around on hills and making things get covered in spaghetti
>>25489870
>I was only pretending to be retarded
>>25489892
>anon thinks he could feed all of Equestria, but horse could already eat grass
>horse is allergic to spaghetti for some reason
>all horse die
Bad end, would you like to play again? Too fucking bad because you can't. God's an asshole and everything is ruined with help, eat shit and cry yourself to sleep on a bed of noodles, tomato sauce, and parmigiano.
Also the sauce is made with canned paste and the cheese also came from a can.
>tfw Cadance will never take your virginity by farting into your anus until the pressure on your prostate causes you to ejaculate
>>25489885
get >>>/out/. Buy a horse, armour and sword. God is calling.
>>25489853
DEUS VULT!
>>25489934
I thought I was the only one who had this fetish
>>25489934
You still wouldn't lose your virginity that way. You need to stick your dick in a vagina.
>>25489937
>>25489938
Christfags ruin so many boards. Stop throatfucking everyone with your shitty catch phrases and LARPing
>>25489941
Perhaps once Cadance has jammed my penis into her horse vagina, she would force our anuses together and fart unrelentingly until I am forced to cum inside.
>>25489945
>implying we dont belong on this board that does the same shit
>>25489961
You guys are as bad as bronies and redditors. Fuck off and play alternate history on /his/. It's so fucking cringe-worthy.
>>25489801
You mean you fuck little fillies and colts when they get their cutie marks?
>>25489816
the magic of money and hookers anonand condoms, definitely condoms
>>25489974
would it be better if i used pone images?_____Deus Vult_____
>>25489801
>>25489853
DEUS VULT
>>25489992
Would it be better if someone ranted about how great atheism was if he had a picture of a pony in a fedora? no.
>>25490002
anon.. why do you hate a religion of peace so much? please just let the father the son and the holy spirit into your life
>>25489801
too old
>>25490014
You guys have no self-awareness, do you?
>>25489979
This puts the Cutiemark Crusaders' unhealthy drive to get their cutiemarks in a whole different perspective.
>>25490024
>>25489801
>>25489853
This seems appropriate
>>25490040
>deus may or may not vult
my fucking sides
>>25490040
>crusading
>smells amazing
I know it's supposed to be satirical, but come on. EVERYTHING smelled like shit back in those days, and war has never smelled good.
Is this the Crusade General?
As for >>25489801
, I wouldn't (immediately) acquire horsepussy before finding out just what my magical potential can reach.I may even get my cutiemark and know what to do with my life for once this way!
>>25490051
>satirical
topkek. we're going to have an actual crusade soon and we're rising our numbers. it's real not a satire
and the crusades did smell good because of holy water and rosemary
DEUS VULT
>>25490071
DEUS VULT brother!
>>25490071
>>25490074
You'll both shit your pants at the first shot fired in anger.
>>25489863
Because your mother is a whore
Sometimes I can't find a difference between /mlp/ and /trash/
>>25490076
and you'll have to accept christ or die
>>25490099
>mfw i just posted this in the other thread
>>25490095
Bring your friends. Larger groups make better targets.
>>25490102
nice fedora
>>25490110
*tips*
>>25489853
>>25489867
>>25489879
>>25489937
>>25489938
>>25489961
>>25489992
>>25489997
>>25490014
>>25490040
>>25490046
>>25490051
>>25490066
>>25490071
>>25490074
>>25490095
>>25490088
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=klF-vKy4qpw
>>25490099
>Double dubs
Cadence confirmed for purity plunderer without exception.Cap: lyeamgp announced
>>25490124
>>25490128
>>25490147
noice! that'll show em for posting a youtube video and a jpg you can google in half a second
>>25490147
now I want to see what games they have
>>25490147
i remember once the whole page was a game of asteroids... good times..
>>25490147
christ will kill you too
>>25490147
Wrong agency. You're thinking of the ATF.
I know, it gets confusing. There are so many different alphabet-soupers with only little old you standing in between the world and complete tyranny, but do try and keep up, nigger.
>>25490155
>>25490172
>>25490176
>all these newfags
Thanks for proving christfags are cancer.
>>25490147
>thank you for your tip
>your tip has been submitted
>your tip
Even the FBI are memeing you, fedorabro.
>>25489801
I had an idea for a story about Anon being a literal wizard in Equestria, and any sort of intimacy with others causes him to lose his powers, and a mare takes a liking to him, so he he's constantly struggling between the choice of love, and the one thing that's made him feel special and worthy of love and admiration.
>>25490210
make it about him wanting to crusade against saddle arabia but he's deciding between horse pussy and that
>>25490210
>>25490222
respect the trips.getgod has spoken!
If we're having a new crusade, can I be Altair?
>>25490246
>wanting to be a dirty saracen
Deus lo vultDeus lo vult is the motto of the Equestrian Order of the Holy Sepulchre of Jerusalem, a Catholic order of chivalry. —Wikipedia
>>25490222
ya hes right you have a good reason to go so go if your man enough i mean.
>>25490255
>not wanting to parkour and stab people
I'll fight for the Crusaders, just let me wear the outfit.
deus mori
>>25490286
What good would chloroform be in a fight?
>>25490284
>jump off a roof
>break your legs
>get beheaded by kebab
>>25490284
>wanting to wear mudslime clothes
>not wanting awesome crusader armor
are you a retard
>>25490343
he's so dumb he should be beheaded by us beforehand
>>25490296
Literally google "battlefield uses for chloroform".
>>25489853
>>25490400
moonman will get rid of you niggers too
>>25490418
But Tyrone is based. He's the one nog that we should want to keep.
>>25490176
>>25490128
Nice!
It's been a while since I read the last version of the Darwin Awards. Thanks for making a few more entries.
>>25490524
>not knowing how to handle explosives safely
What the shit did you DO with your childhood? Play football or something?
>>25490524
>Darwin
Atheists will be destroyed when our crusades come back.
DEUS VULT!
>>25490531
Look, we both know that 95% of the people who are stupid enough to actually try this shit DON'T know how to take adequate safety precautions. Especially if they do it for a youtube video or vine.
As an aside, is the Pinned Thread feature of 4chan X missing for anyone else since the update?
>>25490546
Then bring them back.
>>25490560
why would i want to bring back atheists from the dead when they're infidels who don't believe in christ
you're a fucking retard
>>25489892
and then papyrus happens
>>25490656
>papyrus
>mudslime inventions
fuck you and DEUS VULT
>>25489801
Greentext of Anon's wizard powers beginning to manifest and Cadance desperately trying to rape him before he starts juggling the sun when?
>>25490286
That pic probably makes mustard gas.
Besides, I can buy 1 liter of chloroform in a drugstore just behind the corner for 7 euros.
BUT THE WIZARD IS UNDETERRED!
>>25489801
bump for anon crusader story
DEUS VULT
if you don't accept christ, then you won't be able to go to equestria and you'll be beheaded by the holy see
>>25489801
"Wait, you mean...all I needed to do to have sex with you...was telling you the sad truth about myself...?"
>>25491798
DEUS VULT
>>25489853
WITNESSED.
I mean, DEUS VULT
somebody screencap this thread
we need to show /pol/ how christian /mlp/ is
>>25489853
D E U S V U L T
>>25489801
"Wait. You mean that I'll get wizard powers?"
>"If I don't have sex with you yes, and they can..."
>Anon back hand slaps princess.
"Fuck you bitch! I'm a wizard!"
>Anon jumps out of window and starts flying with spaghetti shooting out of his pockets
>>25491903
I'm sure /pol/ is plenty aware. Who do you think posts here?
>>25491931
they still bully me there when i bring up mlp
mlp is the most redpilled most christian cartoon
>>25489801
Well this explains how Twilight got so powerful.
>>25491903
>"L-look senpai /pol/! I'm like you! A-am I kewl, now!?"
Jeez, anon, clean your tongue, will you?
>>25491935
It's all a cover. They don't want to appear degenerate among their peers.
>>25489801
Wait, so if Little Pink Mc Bitch over here had her Cute-Cenera in that old Episode (The one where the CMC find each other, forgot the name) then who the fuck took her virginity there?
I hope it was Berry Punch in a drunken stooper.
>Now I want porn / green of Berry Punch molesting Diamond Tiara while Drunk
>amk
>>25491943
DEUS VULT
when the crusades happen we'll kill you fedoras
>>25491974
You forgot "*teleports behind you*" and "heh...nothin personnel, kid..."
>>25489853
DEUS VULT
>>25489974
But anon,we ARE bronies
>>25489934
>tfw Cadence will never take your virginity by peeing into your bladder until the pressure on your prostate causes you to ejaculate into her peehole
>>25489853
Thread successfully derailed. +100 internets to you.
>>25491338
Sure you can.
Now.
DEUS VULT
>>25494103
INSHALLAH
>>25490051
>Not liking the smell of gutted pagans and heathens.
You are literaly worse than shit, piss and all other kinds of scum mixed together and left out in the sun for a few hours.
>>25489853
>>25489867
>>25489879
>>25489938
>>25489992
>>25489997
>>25490014
>>25490040
>>25490071
>>25490074
>>25490260
>>25490360
>>25490546
>>25490661
>>25491786
>>25491871
>>25491893
>>25491916
>>25491974
>>25492158
>>25494103
>>25494295
Not supporting the true God of mankind - bunch of Milk drinkers and Thalmor in this thread
>>25494295
>talking about killing pagans and heathens
>posts a children's interpretation of a pagan sun god dressed up in heretical adornments from a fantasy boardgame
How's that idolatry treating you?
>>25494704
>Implying Celestia iand Luna arent the true goddesses in-universe.
>Not posting Celestia in the Crusade General on /mlp/
>Do you even PRAISE THE SUN, you filthy heretic?
>>25494875
DS sucked. Like it or not, your vidya, your headcannon; suck.
>>25489934
>implying any of this other than the perverted act of using the missionary position for the purpose of procreation counts for virginity removal
Ignorant pleb.
>>25494875
You're a terrible Christain, and God frowns upon your idolatrous ways.
>>25494973
Its an alright headcannon.
>>25495236
not really
>>25494973
>>25495070
>Being this mad.
>>25494973
Not headcannon, just a joke, if admittedly not a very tasteful one.
DS has it's good and bad moments. It does not suck.
>>25495070
That's your headcannon, m80.
Learn to take a joke, will you?
>Not being able to take a joke on 4chan.
>>25489853
DEUS VULT
>>25489801
Only if you brought peezur
>>25494973
Have fun with CoD 22 then, faggot
>>25490099
>>25490101
>The mare that saved the crystal empire
>The mare that tore the crystal empire apart
>>25495336
>ima troo christain
>we gon croosade
>no srsly just jokes m8
>pls dun b mad @ me god
You will be purged along with the rest come Armageddon, idolater.
>>25495838
Learn to read, faget.
>>25494295 here's a somewhat badly matched image.
>>25494875 here's a tasteless joke.
>>25495336 explaining that the joke is a joke to people who could not into joke. (>>25494973>>25495070)
>>25495838 fagget who cannot into reading
>It's like you don't like Crusading and the glorious smell of gutted heathens and pagans, peasant.
Deus vult... vos tacere! Omnes cum dignitate tractare!
>>25489801
Ewww thanks but no thanks. Now that you're pregnant you're ruined. I'll stick to my hand (any my silicon horse pussy).
>>25496492
Ama et tolera!
>>25490128
>what makes me a good demoman?
DEUS VULT
>>25496545
>not wanting to fuck pregnant Cadence
>>25499574
>not wanting Cadance to fuck you pregnant
get on my level
>>25489801
Uh thanks,can we get Luna in on this too?
>>25490124
Deus Vult, my brothers!
Amen.
NEW LUNAR REPUBLIC
DEUS VULT
>>25501049
>new lunar republic
LUNAHU ACKBAR
Hey, when you 'Saders are done nuking the Muslims, fancy hittin' India as well? The British would like that back
