Links
New GoogleDoc Pastebin Archive:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1aoh8YH3I0q78czAnb9mt_4h5jUeCUbivFV5WhAh935U/edit?pli=1
Old CrazyRain's Stories' Archives:
http://pastebin.com/C82B4dea
http://pastebin.com/u/CrazyRain
well hello new thread
...
...
first
If you don't want to rape all of the cute horse butts you're faggot.
>>24962270
Don't touch my waifu's butt you filthy casual.
>>24962288
What are you gonna do about it, nerd?
She's my waifu now! They are all my waifus!
>>24962296
You can't have all those waifus. And if you rape her I will counter rape you.
>>24962303
>You can't have all those waifus.
Fucking watch me. I'm gonna get all of those fat plots begging for my cock; but don't worry,i'll let you be my waifu too.
I need more of frostybox's "Just'a Good Ol' Girls"
I /need/ it.
>>24962315
I'm not gonna watch you cuck me. I'm gonna... waitSoarin?
>>24962315C-can I be your waifu too?
>>24962337
>>24962342
Soarin gonna be my waifu too.
Everyone is gonna be my waifu.
>>24962345That looks like a fun doujin. Is it?
>>24962379
Never mind I thought you were someone else.
>>24962404
Writefag/Tripfag?
>>24962436
Just a fag.
We ded for real.
Everyone should just write at least a one-shot green to keep us alive, no matter how bad it is.
Did Barbarian Celestia and White Mage Anon ever finish?
>>24962810
okay
>"Hey there handsome what brings you tonight?"
"The booze."
>She does this every Friday night. You get paid, you got to the pub to relax, maybe have a one-nighter, but not with her.
>Not again.
>Any female that comes your way is instantly blown off by your 'savior'.
>...Except for that one gryphon who beat the shit out of her for trying that.
>Damn that was some hot rough sex. Wish she came to this bar more often.
>"So, what is a lovely stallion like yourself doing all alone tonight, without a special somepony no less?"
"Drinking, what else?"
>"Oh really? Then you wouldn't mind if I joined you for a drink tonight."
>She plops down by the stool next to you and waves over the bartender.
>"Hey barkeep! One cider and one more for what ever Anon is having."
>"One Apple Cider and another glass of Everfree Clear."
>"Wait... You got Everclear?"
"Yeah?"
>"Why!?"
"Cause I can."
>"Yo, Anon!"
>You look over and spot Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Rarity.
"Oh, hey Rainbow. Trip went well?"
>"You know it! Nothing is impossible when you have me on your side. Hey... why is Stardust sitting next to you?"
>"My name is LIGHTING DUST! And for your information I happen to be in a relationship with Anon."
>"Pfft yeah right... Right Anon?"
"Hmm? I wasn't paying attention. What where you talking about?"
>"Is she your special somepony?"
"...No, I'm not even a pony.
>"But we had sex!"
"So did the barkeep and rowdy table number 5, but you don't see me claiming them as my special somepony."
>"Never get tired of that brutal honesty of yours... Everfree?" chimed in Applejack.
"You know it."
>"That stuff will kill your liver Anon."
"For you, this is like watered down beer from back home."
>"Yeah, yeah, human liver blah blah blah! Are we going to play pong tonight or what? You promised last Saturday we would after our trip."
"Sure. Let me just finsh this and I'll head on over and drink you and Applejack under the table."
>"Big words for just a colt."
"I am a man. Applehat"
>>24963000
I don't know.
>>24963033
>"Wait! You can't just leave me I bought you a drink."
"And? I didn't tell you to buy me that drink."
>"But...But you owe me!"
"...Okay how does a handy after I play pong with them sound?"
>" Yes. What! N-No it's not that...I mean-"
"What. You thought this was more than that?
>You can't help, but to shake your head.
"Wrong setting. Wrong time."
>"But I was nice!"
"Funny, in my world I would of said the same."
>"Anon! You coming or not?"
"Hold your horses..! So about that handy. Do you still want one?"
>"...Yes."
Fin
>>24963000
No, I'm still working on it. I just dont want to screw up the ending like I did with Woodworking Anon.
>>24962810
>"HELLO ANON!"
>You turn away from the noise and try to cover your head with your pillow, except that's not actually a pillow
>"Morning."
>It's Shining
>Shining fucking Armor
>You throw him at his wife and try once more to bury yourself in bedding
>Goddamn horses getting up too fucking early
>You're too tired for this shit
>>24962810
>You be Anoms
>"Make me sammich, Anoms."
>U do
>Sammich knocks her sexy socks off
>Bitches can't cook in this world, either
>Dear Princess Celestia,
>Twilight is attempting to spy on me on a regular basis. She often does this while Luna is over for pizza and movies. I'm not sure if you put her up to this or if she is doing it on her own volition, but it is getting annoying. Mostly because I can hear her mutter, "Hurry up and start mating." and "Get to the action." Luna and I do not have this kind of relationship.
>Sincerely,
>Anonymous
>p.s. You have a blanket invitation to join us on movie night. Justify it as cultural exchange if your advisers have an issue with it.
>>24963310
>Dear Anonymous,
>Twilight is...excitable when it comes to new fields of study, often to her determinate.
>Remind me to tell you of the time she nearly caused a riot in Ponyville.
>Also I would think that with the amount of times that you two have often gone alone to your house for 'movie' night, that Twilight would be on to something.
>Luna becomes rather flustered whenever I ask for details about the night.
>Sincerely,
>Princess Celestia
>P.S I would love to watch some of your movies, it's fascinating to see other's cultures.
>P.S.S Also I would expect that Luna treat with the utmost courtesy that a stallion of your bearing would deserve of course.
>P.S.S.S If Luna 'accidentally' does something improper please know that the Crown will cover for expenses. Heaven's knows that Blueblood has enough of those under his belt.
>>24963078
Hey, I enjoyed it. Just because it didn't have a harem ending doesn't mean it's bad.
>>24960037
>Take the stairs two at a time because they were made for tiny quadrupeds
>Books and pillows are strewn about and there’s some shattered glass and puddled cider on the floor
>Not a bad time, you guess
>In the kitchen, you see a pink filly with a little tiara on her head with a bowl of cereal
>Shit, this must be the kid
>They probably heard all of it, whatever
“What uh- whatcha eating there?”
>You were always shit at talking to kids and you think that extends to foals too
>”Celestia Crunch…”
>Never heard of it
“How is it?”
>”It’s pretty good.”
“Mind if I have some?”
>You’re kind of hungry from banging her mom and it’ll help the hangover headache that’s coming around on you
>You pour a bowl and pour some milk
>There’s a picture of a horse on the carton and you don’t think about it too much
>So, there you are eating cereal with your matron’s filly acting like you both don’t know why you were here
>The cereal is pretty good
“I really like the marshmallow bits.”
>”Yeah, it’s the coolest. All the kids are gonna be so jealous.”
>You snort, it’s such a kid answer and you can tell that she’s probably a jerk to her little friends
“Maybe, you could share and then everyone would owe you something.”
>”I never thought of that…” Her mouth hangs open at the idea of sharing.
“That one’s on the house.”
>You gesture with your spoon before you spoon the last mouthful
>Drink the milk that changes colors from the probably magic cereal
>You open the bit bag and take another handful for yourself
>Draw the bag closed and put it back on the table
“I’ll give you two bits if you don’t tell your dad.”
>Her eyes get big, despite having all this money; she’s probably never had many chances to earn it
>She nods excitedly and you place them on the table
>You gather up and put on your clothes
>A plain black suit with a white shirt
>You are Anon and you are a call stallion to Ponyville’s well-to-do mares
>>24963892
I thought that last line said mare-do-wells.
>>24963037
lewd
>>24963892
Kek
This anon is such a dirtbag.
rump
>be gaynon
>you're a total raging homo, and everypony knows it
>actually, you just starred in several pornos, including 'My First Colt Cuddler Experience 2', 'Naughty Stallions of the Griffon SS', and 'Cocksuckers!'
>yet somehow, mares keep hitting on you
>do they just not understand the core concept?
You know, there hasn't been a single green about a pregnant mare in RGRE. Do they have maternity leave? Are the stallions expected to wait on her until the foal is born? Or do they go about their lives until the moment the foal is about to be born? Maybe we can have a RGRE/Satyr crossover green.
>>24966012
I'd skip the satyr aspect and just make it a non-AiE story. would be interesting.
>>24962810
maybe tomorrow, too late for brain function right now.
>>24966012
That's why herding happens.
Mares coordinate their pregnancies so they can all support each other an their colt when one of them is bedridden with child. Magic of Friendship and all that.
What's your favorite type of horse, RGRE?
I like the purple, nerdy ones the best.But don't tell the other horses I said that. I don't want to hurt their tiny equine feelings.
>>24963033
>>"Big words for just a colt."
>"I am a man. Applehat"
FINALLY someone said it!
>>24967650
Anon just normally doesn't want to offend their culture.
It's why people don't get offended by an Aussie calling em Mate, even though that implies they breed with you.
>>24968325
>Implying there isn't a clear difference between a m8 and a mate.
>>24968417
uh... that term long predates l337speak and the internet there m8.
I was wondering, how do you guys think female Griffons would treat their males? Would they act more like birds and be attracted to the more colorful ones and they'll make a nest together? Or would they act like cats and rub their bodies over the one they like while trying to act aloof?
>>24968325
The bloody hell you flapping about, mate? It's fair dinkum grouse lingo, ya galah
>Aus Anon in 'Questra
>Completely indecipherable manner of speaking
>Mares pretend to understand in an attempt to enter a relationship
>They know he's open to one
>Why else would every other word by 'mate'?
>Meanwhile Anon is having a bonzer time yabbering with ankle biter brumbies. Just like having a lark acting the dill with seppos and poms back home>He's fully aware they want a root, but he's no root rat bogan.
>Also that's close to sheep shagging, can't be stepping on the kiwis toes by stealing their national pastime
>>24968538
>Also that's close to sheep shagging, can't be stepping on the kiwis toes by stealing their national pastime
Kek, shots fired
>>24968437
It's not about l337speak, it's about the accent and pronunciation, as well as context.
>>24968325
colt is young stallion
anon is neither young nor a horse
speaking of which... have we had green of anon asserting his manliness on other ponies?
>>24967351
>Decent 3D pone model
After all the source filmmaker shit I thought it impossible.
>>24968538
my sides
>>24969175
What do you mean? I think they look fine.
>>24963892
>Head home on your walk of shame
>Arrive at the shitty house you rent with your roommates
>Attempt to open the door, it’s dead bolted
>Knock on door
>”Who is it~?” She calls through the door.
“You know damn well who it is.”
>”Oh? I think I hear a deadbeat.”
>You’re only like a week late for rent
>This time
“I have your bits right here, Bon Bon.”
>”I want to see them before I let you back in.”
“Fine. I don’t give a shit.”
>You reach into your pockets and fish out your wages from the night
>The door cracks open and Bon Bon sticks her head out
>After about a minute, she nods and swings the door wide
>Fucking Hell
>You close the door behind you before dumping the bits onto the counter
>Bon Bon sat next to her marefriend, Lyra, on the couch
>”So, you were out with your marefriend?”
“Yeah, something like that.”
>Most of the town knows what line of work you’re in, except for these two
>So, you just look like a jobless slacker
>”That’s good, don’t mooch off her for bits though. That’s really sleazy.” Lyra chimes in.
>You don’t know the half of it, Harpo
”I wouldn’t do that. Just called in some favors.”
>”Ah. You should probably get a job, you know, so we don’t have to shake you down every so often.”
“I tried working at Sugarcube Corner, I can’t bake and that’s half of the work around here.”
>Thank Celestia those kids weren’t yours.
>Dance inside your head like you’re on Maury
>”Well, maybe you could work for Rarity or something.” Lyra adds.
“Why are we even worrying about this?”
>”Anon… we don’t want to just rent a house for the rest of our lives. Eventually, we want to settle down, bring in some stallions, and have a family of our own. We like you, but if you can’t provide for yourself, what good is that for any pony.” Says Bon Bon
>You’re being lectured by miniature horses, time to leave
>You stand up and walk out the door without a word as your roommates protest
Anyone know what happened to the story where anon was digging a hole for plumbing, and everyone was trying to stop him because "colt doing hard labor"?
>>24970611
it turned into a holy war
shit got crazy
>>24970611
It's finished. It was written by LoveAndPowerLifting; you can find the story in the GoogleDoc thing.
>>24970189
>Be Lyra
>Anon just walked out when you and Sweetie brought up your plans for the future
>Neither of you expected him to get this mad
>You figured he might get angry but he’d understand that you and Sweetie weren’t kicking him out
>The two of you just wanted to make sure that he could support himself
>It was hard for stallions to support themselves without help from their families or siblings
>He had neither, that was probably why he left
>”I swear, I’ll never understand stallions.” Bon Bon whispered.
>You shake your head wistfully
>Be Anon
>You’ve cooled down since leaving the house
>It’s not their fault, peo- ponies mature and their going to eventually want to settle down
>That just wasn’t within your plans
>No matter how many you fuck, dating just seems weird to you
>You just barely made rent this month, so you need another gig, quick
>You arrive at Rarity’s shop and enter
>The bell above the door goes off and you hear her in the back room
>”Just a minute~”
“It’s just me, Rara.”
>You start heading back towards her work area
>Rarity has been kind of like your pimp in a lot of ways
>She helped hook you up with the rich and lonely type that you’ve become accustomed to and is always listening for interest
>You’ve never had anyone stiff you or try to pull something, so mostly she just has a finder’s fee and then leaves it
>It works for the both of you
“Whatcha up to?”
>”I am trying to hem this skirt, but this pleat will NOT cooperate.”
“Can I help?”
>”No, let me have my pride, Anonymous.”
“Alright. Anyways, have you got any new work for me? I’m already running low.”
>”Already? Do you have a salt habit, dear?”
“No, my roommates are just being pushy and I need money to, you know, eat.”
>”Okay, well, I heard Mayor Mare was looking for a bit of fun.”
“I really need bits in my hand, Rara. Don’t you have anything that I can do in an afternoon?”
>She puts a hoof to her chin in thought
>>24970794
>”I swear, I’ll never understand stallions.” Bon Bon whispered.
kek
Minofluff
>You are Anon, and you are visiting the minotaur homeland, Minotia.
>The little horses back in poneland tried to stop you, saying that the minotaur homelands are too dangerous for a delicate colt like you and yelling that you might decide to move there.
>They even went as far as trying to kidnap you and stash you away in Applejack's barn.
>Fucking overprotective ponies.
>This place is actually pretty sweet, it feels good not having to look down all the time when you talk to someone and the locals are just as nice as the ponies back in Equestria.
>You smile as you recline in your chair at a nice little cafe, thinking of all the good times you had in your three days here.
>Looking out the window onto the patio, you notice a minotaur girl wearing what looks to be a low v-neck shirt sitting at a table just to your left, looking at you and giving you what looks to be her best "I'm interested in you" look.
>Not the best, but it's certainly in your top 10, so you give her a big smile for her troubles.
>Noticing that you aren't quite dashing from your chair yet, she changes tactics, leaning forward a bit, resting her sizable chest onto the table, giving you a very clear view of her cleavage.
"Goddamn"
>You lean forward to better appreciate the beautiful valley that appeared in front of you.
>Seeing that you are very interested, she ups the ante and pinches the front of your shirt and pulls down while puffing her chest out, squishing her breasts and making them strain against the fabric, begging to spring out to freedom.
>At this point, you are half out of your chair, ready to go outside and meet this brave, brave girl. Not quite leaving, for you wanted to see if it would go furthe-
>Oh. Oh my.
>Tugging a bit more on her shirt, the minotaur girl just released a small amount of fluff that peaked her cleavage, pulling lower and revealing more when she saw your eyes widen.
Limit, I'm going to post the last bit next post.
>>24971379
>Finally getting up out of your chair in a daze, you start making your way outside to the minotaur.
>Moving here doesn't seem bad at all.
And done!
I wanted to get something out after not being able to work some more on my other minotaur story.
>>24971434
big breasted babe is best
>>24971445
You are wise beyond your years, anon.
>>24968538
And thanks to my aussie ex, I understood every word. Thanks darling, I'll never forget you
I found thing
>>24946027
>>24963892
I like the exchange with DT. was funny. looking forward to more of this story.
>>24962379Depends on your fetishes. If I remember correctly, it's mostly futa/sister on male/brother incest.
>10
>>24971379
>>24971434
oh my
>>24972606
>Anon is innaquestria
>Is younganon
>Adopted by twilight's mom
>Lives with twilight
>Twilight thinks he's a hermathrodite because misunderstandings
>"Just like in my mangos!"
>Secret sibling lust
>Anon ends up fucking Twilight's dad
>>24974001
Pony comics confirmed for being mango pits.
>>24967248
that's... not a bad theory actually.
>>24963033
>>24963037
This is how Reverse Gender Roles threads started for me and what I miss - silly stories about male Anon experiencing comedic encounters with pony parodies of jocks, good guys and sexist except gender flipped and well, adorable ponies.
How did you guys start ? With one of those elaborate revenge stories or the ones where Anon "fixes" Equestria ?
>>24974723
That and it gives the foals a more stable household to grow up in, with lots of other foals to socialize and play with.
>>24971434
Was fun read
>>24969661
The lips always look weird to me.
>>24972606Is the brother cute?
>>24975025
>you will never go to bed at night, several mares on either side of you cozied up for warmth
>your collective foals curled up on your chest with their heads tucked into the crook of your neck or cuddled up next to their mothers,
>>24975356adorable
>>24974934
>silly stories about male Anon experiencing comedic encounters with ponies
That's how it started. Not much has changed. In the beginng things where slightly more serious and there was a lot more focus on ponies noticing how strange anon was acting and bringing it up and less of the two way obliviousness you see in most of the stories now.
>>24975496
No need for bed-sheets to stay warm at night.
Just get all of your mares to cuddle around you and cover up any holes in your cuddle-pile with your foals.
>>24975496
>>24976066
Perfect.
>>24975496
Thank God for that! Can you imagine having to share a bed with, like, 6 other people? I can barely stand one as it is.
>>24976238
>not wanting to sleep in a pile with all your mares and foals
despicable
>>24976238
>Can you imagine having to share a bed with, like, 6 other people?
Silly Anon, ponies aren't people.
>>24976238
>Can you imagine having to share a bed with, like, 6 other people?
No, I can't.
In the unlikely event I ever got married, we'd have separate beds cause I can't sleep with anyone or anything in bed with me.
>>24976238
I have never had a pet dog that I could let into my home, but I once had to take care of a friend's puppy while he was out. Little thing was scared straight of everything at first but soon wouldn't get separated from me to the point where it would beg me to let it sleep with me on the bed.
Best sleep I've had in a long while, the tiny thing cuddling against me for warmth and protection, and I bet cuddling with ponies would be similar but even better.
I can only imagine what it would be to cuddle with a dozen ponies being all cute and shit.
>>24963037
>>24963033
This is actually rather good. You should write more one shots.
>>24968325
Isn't mate short for matey? They have pirates in Equestria right? Or at least the concept of pirates based on Pip Squeaks costume. Surely mate has a duel meaning there too. That or they think anon is a pirate of somesort.
>>24970611
It got really crazy built up to a climatic battle of epic proportions and more excitement and raw awesome I've seen in a greentext to this date.Then it ended on a pretty lame and low key note. The ride is worth it though.
>>24971434
>>24971379
Ya know I found pony fluff really cute and big juicy Minotaur boobs sexy, however something about a roughly female human figure having hair on her chest around her boobs makes me want to vomit.
>>24970794
The only thing I have to object is that Anon's attitude seems to be uh unrealistically cynical. Unless you were going tor a total unreasonable asshole, but something tells me you were going for a somewhat relateable anon.
Either way I like this thing. Make more of it.
>>24977125
The use of mate depends on your culture. In some places it means your spouse, and in others it means a friend. Or if you're British or Australian, it refers to literally anyone.
bnag
>>24977125
I believe mate is short for inmate as Australia was essentially a giant prison
>>24977998
>was
Are you saying Mad Max isn't based on a true story?
>>24978261
That ponk will always be amazing.
>>24978485
WHAT A MARE
WHAT A LOVELY MARE
>>24977125
>around her boobs
I was going for covering her boobs, I'll try and do some short and sweet descriptions that don't mess with the flow of the story next minotits short I do.Just realized I don't have any suitable and appropriate pictures of female minotaurs. Time to hang around /tg/ for a bit.
>>24979000
I know your feels.
>>24979000
>>24979826
I've always been of the opinion humanity would best get along with the minotaurs and griffons.
Getting close to an update on tabletop Anon, before this weekend hopefully (as its turkey day weekend and that means almost no writing time.)
>>24980368
soon
>>24980368
Noice
Minobump.
>>24981076
Welp, I got and idea for the next short now. Don't know how I'm going to tackle it, but damn me if I don't try.
Thanks anon!
>>24981285
>Mino is interested in Anon, but he says he doesn't date 'furries' so she shaves everything off.
Did I got that right?
>>24981450
>He's hairless, maybe if I'm hairless he would notice mesenipai
Top kek m80
>>24981450
And another possible idea if someone that's lightyears more funny than I am doesn't do it first!
It was more like another cute one like the last one, with Anon busting in tired as shit and moving to shave with a straight razor and the minotaur chick freaking out.
Time to outline!
>>24981797
Sounds cute. Cute is good.
>>24981076
This shouldn't expand dong, but it does.
page ten no
you go
go now page ten
>>24983261
Shhh only dreams now.
>>24983884
>You are Anon, sleeping human in Equestria
>You're dreaming about cheese
>An entire city made of cheese, empty of life save for you and the swimming cheese-horse
>You sit down on an armchair made of cheese and watch as it splashes around like some sort of dog or something
>Somehow the burbling noises it makes along with the splashing brings you a sense of serene joy
>You are Princess Luna, Princess in Equestria
>You are out amongst the dreams of your subjects
>You hear a strange taste behind you, sort of a greenish pink
>When you turn to investigate you see a dream flowing towards you, the contents unknown despite your skills at dreamery
>You try to dodge it but it slams into you and you seep into it as it moves on as if you never existed
>And you can't breathe anymore!
>OH SHIT WHY CAN'T YOU BREATHE?!
>You're underwater! It's thick and dark but you have to get to the surface
>You don't want to drown!
>As you push your head out into the air you see that the water is a creamy yelow colour
>And it tastes of cheese
>It's taking all your strength just to stay afloat
>You don't want to be fondue
>>24984281
You hear a strange taste
i did that once, i'll never do it again
>You tap the heels of your shoes to the floor to settle your feet into them
>”Anon? Was that you?”
>You open your front door and look over your shoulder to see Caramel walking into the living room
“Yup”
>His eyes widen as he looks past you to the open door, “You’re going out?!”
“Yeah, I wanna get some cider”
>”Now?!”
“I intend on drinking it tonight, so yeah, that’s why I’ve got my shoes on and was about to leave”
>”Alone?!”
“That was the idea or I would’ve asked you if-“
>”No! Nonono, I’m coming with you just give me a minute!” he shouts as he runs off to his room
>You have been leaning in the doorway for about ten minutes now
“Oh my god, are you ready yet?!”
>”Just one minute!” he calls back
“You said that ten minutes ago!”
>He comes out of his room looking exactly the same save for a little whistle looking necklace thing, “Okay, lets go”
>You let him go past you before shutting the door and locking it behind you
“What took you so long?”
>”Well I wasn’t expecting to go out on such short notice Anonymous. And some of us happen to care about our appearances”
>That might be because you didn’t ask him to-
“Wait, what did you mean by that?”
>He almost jumps at your question, “Nothing! J-just… maybe I can give you some pointers on how to dress tomorrow?”
>You look yourself over
>Worn shorts and a stained shirt
>The hell is he talking about? This is good enough for a quick run to get booze
>Caramel nudges the side of your leg
>>24984535
>You look down to see that he’s scanning around as you both walk the lamppost lit streets
>He breathes a small sigh of relief when you both reach the liquor store
>You walk the aisles lazily, looking to see if anything new, and possibly stronger, has come in
>Caramell huffs, “What are you doing? Just get the one you always get”
“Hold on bro, I’m just browsing”
>”I just don’t see the fascination here”
“Yeah well neither do I when we go to the pillow store”
>”A single throw pillow can off set the entire feeling of a room Anonymou-“
“Alright! I’m getting the booze”
>Caramel hums happily to himself
>He knows you hate being informed about the importance of a damn throw pillow
>You set the package of ciders down on the counter
>”Uhh, you boys sure you wanna buy this? It’s little heavy.”
>Nigga you wha-
>Oh, it’s not Hops whose running it tonight, some new mare
>You drop the bits onto the counter
“I’m way heavier than that. Trust me”
>You take the package in your left hand and head out of the store with Caramel close on your right
>”Oh Anon, you don’t need to feel ashamed of yourself. All bodies are handsome” he responds as you both exit the store
>Well, you meant that in a literal sense but still that was pretty nice of him to say
>You both walk in silence for a little until you decide that tonight is the perfect drink and a walk weather
>You pocket the bottlecap to throw away later and take your first sip of cool cider
>Caramel rolls his eyes as you breath a sigh of refreshment, “I don’t know how you can drink those”
“They’re the best thing I can find here in Ponyville"
>You offer the bottle to him but he shakes his head, “I have appletinis at home” he responds
“I don’t how you can drink /those/, they’re almost like an apple soda”
>>24984545
>You finish off your first bottle and drop it back into the package
>You were about to reach for a second before you feel Caramel tense up against your leg
>You look down to see him flicking his ears around
>Focusing on your own hearing, you can hear some other hoofsteps nearby
>”Hey colts!”
>You look around to see a couple of mares just rounding a corner nearby
>”Anon, let’s get to the other side of the street” Caramel whispers
>You don’t really see the reason but he’s already nudging you in that direction
>The mares watch you both cross over to the other side
>Your eyes squint a little under the brightness of the lampposts now that you’re both so close to them
>The mares start trotting over towards you both, “Hey! I bet you colts like to party with some cider like that! Me and my friend here are heading to a party right now, wanna come with?”
>Caramel trembles slightly as they get closer
“No thanks, this is my casual cider, not my partying cider”
>They close in but keep a short distance behind you, “Come on! There’ll be dancing, with thighs like those I bet you colts love dancing”
>The other mare just snickers beside her friend
>You can feel Caramel’s unease
“Thanks again but no thanks. We’re just gonna take these casual ciders home, and have a casual night. Y’know, at home.”
>The two mares trot up to walk beside you and Caramel, who’s really pressing on your leg now
>”Alright, that’s cool. Some casual stallions, I can dig casual… so where’s home for you handsome fellas?”
“Oh y’know. Down a few streets through a door and stuff”
>Both of the mares laugh, “Funny, you’re funny. I like that” the talkative mare responds, as she flicks her tail against he back of your leg
>You stop walking and Caramel is fumbling with his necklace
>>24984556
“Alright. So I tried being nice about it but I’m pretty much done with that. Go away, both of you.”
>The mares look dumbfounded for a moment, then glance over at each other and start laughing again
>”Come on colt, don’t be like that. We’re all just having fun now aren’t we?” the mare says as she walks closer to you
>With one swoop of your hand you hoist the mare up by her scruff and put her face to face with you, “H-hey! Put me down!” she shouts as she wiggles her limbs around
“You listen to me, we are not ‘having fun’ you are bothering me and my friend and so you two need to leave. If you don’t then when I’m through with you, everyone else will know why humans name mighty storms after themselves” you growl
>You set her beck down roughly, “Y-yeah!” Caramel shouts from behind you somewhere
>The mare and her friend glare at you, “Psh whatever…” she hisses as she turns away
>You walk backwards a few steps to make sure they don’t get the stupid idea of jumping you from behind before turning completely
>”Lets leave those fucking homos to their CASUAL NIGHT!” the mare shouts as she and her friend continue walking, “Fuckin’ teases mare” the friend adds
>Caramel is sniffling as you both turn the last corner to get home, “I can’t believe what just happened...”
“Yeah, fucking cunts.”
>Caramel hugs your leg and begins crying, “And you wanted to go out alone, just imagine what could’ve happened!” he whimpers
>You might have taken them up on their initial offer for one thing, or do a repeat of what just happened
>”I’m so glad we’re both okay”
>You gently pet his head and he nuzzles your leg harder
>Still though, it’s nice to know he cares
>You both head back inside and down your respective drinks together while reenacting the scene as though you were the mares in a very exaggerated and mocking fashion
>Tonight was a good night after all
>Twilight is dumbfounded when she learns that Celestia and Luna sneak into Anon's house at night.
>Investigating, she's shocked to find them--
>>24984602
>playing mariokart without her !
>>24984602
>watching the hoofball game and drinking beers.
>>24984602
>comparing butts.
>turns out Anon's is the biggest... and hairiest...
>>24984615
>In a later time, the house is torn apart from what seems a fight
>Twilight later find the two in a smashed bed after a session of hot angry sex.
>>24984602
>Having an orgy along with Cadence and Shining Armour
>>24984567
I like this little slice-of-life thing. It's good. It's nice having something that isn't purely "anon is awesome and mares are dumb" green.
>>24984656
What were they expecting? He's taller and wider than them, and he's been slacking on his diet.
>>24984567
>>24984718
I agree. Writefag, are we to expect more, or is this a one-shot kinda thing?
>>24985119
That's true.
>male anon with badonkadonk
U-unf. I'm confused.
No wonder the mares lust for him.
>>24984567
>>24971434
>>24970189
>>24963367
>>24963310
>>24963037
Keep going, all of you
>>24985193
the stalions too.
fuck someone get on that.
anon with enough ass to rival the sun and moon sisters.
>>24985954
>Dat Anon
>>24984556
>>You stop walking and Caramel is fumbling with his necklace
wait a minute
is he wearing a fucking rape whistle
>>24986638
I just realized that too. And he spent 10 minutes choosing which one to wear. The pink or the green? Or the one with the butterfly keychain attached?
>>24986638
Nah, he's prepared in case he has to referee an impromptu soccer game.
>>24986666
Nice quads satan.
>>24986666
Quads confirm
>>24986694
>>24986638
The sound of a non train whistle is a sign of a colt being raped or who fears he will be raped.
Being able to whistle is considered to be a sign of having been sexually harrassed a lot.
Anon doesn't know why all the ponies freak out whenever he starts whistling as he walks.
>>24987416
lmao
fund it
>>24987416
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1NN9rnNpEQ
I can already imagine the ponies being really creeped out as he whistles this tune
>>24984567
noice
This thread needs more minotaurs.
>>24988698
Would a human even be attractive to a minotaur? Anon might be too 'uncanny valley' for them.
>>24988754
The depends on how far his standards have dropped, but I personally would like to see more Minotaur's.
>>24988754
>anon
>0/10
>no horns
>>24988754
Maybe if anon is ripped
NEED MORE LEWD GREEN
MY DONG DEMANDS IT
>>24989861
>Anon ends up in Equestria.
>Everyon- pony wants his hot monkey dick.
>He ends up fucking anything and everything.
>The end.
>>24989917
Thanks fam.
>>24989861
>Be spa horse #1
>You are at the lake, swimming
>The human is there
>He's still wearing clothes, even in the water
>~unf
>so lewd
>>24989861
>Horse pussy struggles
>Hot monkey dick knows no fear
>Sunrise is delayed
I WILL SLAY THIS DRAGON
WITH MY DICK
>>24990408
I WILL SPEAR HER
IN HER MIGHTY WOMB
>>24990408
>>24990459
How would pony mares react to Anon "taming" a dragoness?
Scared for his safety, perhaps, but on the other hoof, ain't no fool gonna mess with a dragoness's stallion.
>>24991055
>"Imagine what he can do for a mare if he can handle a dragoness."
>>24987602
Or this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_xFuWmdhLk
I'm just imagining people running in fear as Andy and his son walk to the fishing hole.
Have we had Single DILF Anon in RGR Equestria yet?
>>24991680
I think the Anon-Sitting-Scootaloo is kind of like that.
>>24991680
of age cmc and DT SS all trying to get into dad anons pants his wife finds out and is secretly into it que orgy to end all orgys
>>24991703
But think about it.
>Anon as the RGRE equivalent of Button's Mom
>>24991680
>"Stop this Cadence: you're a married mare. A happily-married mare!"
>You peak over the hedges and catch an eyeful of Anon putting a band-aid on a sniffling Sweetie Belle's foreleg.
>…
>Your traitorous heart skips a beat.
"Happily married, unhappily married, happily married..."
>>24991680
Someone did one of those. I think Frostybox, maybe? It was a one shot, but it was both hot and hilarious.
>>24970794
>Be Anon
>”What about party’s?” Rarity says.
“Isn’t that more Pinkie’s territory?”
>”No, no, no. Stallions…” She says exasperatedly. “You could be the… entertainment.”
“Why didn’t I start with that before rutting every old maid from here to Canterlot?”
>”Please, such coarse language. Well, to be frank, there really wasn’t a demand.”
“Okay. So, now there’s a demand. Can I quit the home visits?”
>”Depends on how much you make, dear.”
“What? I shake my moneymaker to some music and get in an hour. No big deal.”
>”I’m sorry, what?”
“You know, stripping? Take my clothes off and give a lap dance to the lucky mare or something?”
>”Oh, uh, that should be enough.”
“Alright, sounds great. Let me know when I have my first gig lined up.”
>Turn on your heel and march out of the store
>Go out to the bar
>Be chatting with two stallions
>They say they’re with the Wonderbolts
>Pretty cool guys
>You’re all enjoying the free drinks
“Then, I say ‘cider? I hardly know her!’”
>Throw back another cider like it’s nothing
>Mares are starting to approach you three
>”Hey, aren’t you with the Wonderbolts?”
>”We are.”
>”Are you as quick on your back as you are in a race?”
>”O-M-G, Cherry Berry. You did not just say that! I am so sorry for my friend.”
>”Uh-It’s okay.” One of the stallions says. You can’t tell them apart right now.
>”She just got out of a long relationship. Maybe one of you little colts could help her out?”
>”I think we were just about to leave, right, Anon?”
“Yeah, sure, whatever.” You mumble.
>”Oh, come on. We just got you colts some drinks.”
“One for the road can’t hurt.”
>You reach for two of the drinks and slam them back.
“Ready to go, fellas?”
>They nod and head out with you
>Wow
>That is really starting to hit you, huh?
>You slip and catch yourself on a building wall
“Guys?”
>You manage to gasp out before falling over
>>24991967
Ah fuck, first line shouldn't have been >green.
>>24991978
Yay more green
>>24991978
Keep going pls
>>24991680
>>24991970
Yup, it was Frosty: http://pastebin.com/d36diuUy
>Anon and his best friend Mous in Equestria.
>They get into an argument in town that slowly escalates.
>Nearby mares eagerly try to get them fought up faster in hopes of a coltfight.
>Stallions try not to look interested.
>Everyone expects ripped clothes, hair pulling, and slaps.
>They never expect Anon and Mous to brutally beat the shit out of each other until one can't keep going.
>Then the unthinkable happens. They both laugh, the winner picks up the loser, and they go home to make up over drinks.
>Realization finally hits home in Ponyville.
>They are dealing with aliens. Aliens with a culture unlike their own.
>Not exotic looking stallions.
>Not funny foreigners.
>Aliens.
>>24992558
The green where Twilight knows the gender roles are reversed for Anon and has him abusing it to his enjoyment has Anon be challenged in the middle of Ponyville by a group of stallions into a 'show-off'. To say the least, Anon thinks he's about to get into a 3 vs 1 fight with some pastel horses and proceeds to grab an apple from Applehorse stand and launch it with his amazing-human-arms-evolved-to-throw-shit-at-other-shit so fast that he breaks a colt's nose, who starts crying inconsolably.
>>24992648
I want to read this now. Was the 'show-off' actually something girly?
>>24992699
It's was supposed to be like those shows males of some species of animals put on to attract mares. Like a 'pretend fight'; showing off your fluffy coat, your shiny plumage, your strength, nothing actually violent. And then Anon just straight sends a colt to the Weenie Hut General with his mean fastball.
Not that I remember better, it was actually from the Daring Douche story, since the colts where ex-boyfriends from Daring looking to make Anon cry for stealing their girl, like the slut he is.
>>24992852
>>24992852
>penis_balls.png
>>24992558
This idea has been posted and I like it, but most of RGR is either feelsy or humorous.
>>24992852
looks more
deerish
>>24992753
Darlings ex's were going for a full on dance battle, which kinda eventually happened... Was glorious
What you described, though, was when Daring Doo and the M6 were ambushed by a mob if background pone, who also wanted the HMD. To protect Anon, DD and Friends fought them off in the deadliest if combat.
Meanwhile Anon glances over in the middle of shopping to see Pegasi sky ballet, Earth pony line dancing and the unicorns generating a laser light show. Thinks its cute, walks off with groceries
>>24992558
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kie5hwjouNo
>>24993598
A+ Choice in audio log.
>>24993047
Does this mean that canterlot is filled with raves during pony mating season?
>>24993047
>Darlings ex's were going for a full on dance battle, which kinda eventually happened... Was glorious
you forgot the best part of it, when anon started singing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8tyehOb5dE
>>24994995
Does anyone have a link to the pastebin or a cap of the dance battle green?
>>24995422
http://pastebin.com/4frqRuPK
Apple beaning intensifies.
>>24995483
Thanks Anon
Well, I mcFucked up there. Accidently posted tabletop Anon 8n AiE.
Well, time to post again.
>Time ticks by in agonizing slowness, as you watch the clock in your room slowly count towards ten.
>You're already wearing the sneak suit like he asked, your mind racing with thoughts of the lewd acts he will commit with you in this.
>Maybe evenfully clothed snuggling
>The minute hand moves one tick closer, and you just can't restrain your excitement.
>Reality warps around you, and you teleport to Anon's door with a pop.
>Silently trotting in place, you look at the wooden portal seperating you and Anon.
>A hoof reaches out tentatively, only to be retracted.
>Mom never said your first time would be this nerve racking...
>You just have to thrust forward, just like he will.
"We're here, Anon," you say, knocking on the door.
>The door knob spins and the wooden wall opens, revealing Anon, fully dressed in black.
>"Come on in, Luna," he says, motioning you in.
>Entering his domain, you find yourself looking around, absorbing the details of a stallion's room.
>Well, what little things there are.
>It seems he doesn't have much of anything, the room is much akin to the other spare bedrooms around the castle.
>The only distinguishing feature is a desk loaded with paints, brushes and other Hyperspace Hyperwars tools.
>Dissapointing, honestly, but you'll be sure to help him add to it, after some fun, of course.
"So, um, what is it you wish to do with me?" you ask, holding back any expresions that might betray your lust.
>Lust for hot human lovings.
>"Well, I want your help in sneaking into the Canterlot HH tournament so I can watch it."
>What...
~~~
>>24995538
>Hearing your request, Luna seems to stop for a moment, thinking.
"I know it's not exactly what you expected, but I promise, I'll make it worth your while in the end," you say, bowing your head a bit.
>"How do you know it is not what we expected?"
"Blueblood explained it to me, and I appologize for making it sound like I was coming on to you."
>"No, I suppose I should waited to see what you wanted before becoming excited."
>Reaching an arm around her shoulder, you give a gentle hug that she leans into.
"Anyways, if we want to sneak in before the games start, we'll have to head out soon."
>"Do not worry, we can teleport us there."
"Really," you exclaim, "What's it like?"
>"Tis true it can be disorienting, but tis also the swiftest form of travel."
"Lets do it then," you say with a smile.
>Luna's breathing slows and steadies before saying, "you must hold tight to me, Anon, or we may not arrive in the same place."
>Wrapping your arms around her chest, you calm yourself as well while magic builds up around you.
>"Close thy eyes and hold thy breath," Luna warns, and you do so.
>The world around you suddenly lurches, and the moment your feet touch the ground again, you stumble, tipping Luna over onto you.
>Wiggling under moon horse, who seems to be having a few balance issues of her own, you open your eyes to find the world spinning slightly.
>Muffled voices appear in the distance, and Luna looks around quickly.
>"Nay, this isn't right..." she mutters, before pushing you back as she backs up.
>You see the toilet before you hit it, and push yourself up so you're seated on it, Luna squeezing against you before closing the stall door.
>Normally, it seems this stall would hardly fit her anyways, and with you squeezed in as well, you're mashed right up against her flank.
>>24992648
Daring douch?
>>24995545
>In a very personal way.
>If not for her sneak suit, you'd almost be making out with her lower lips.
>And you're quite sure she can tell that too.
>The door to what you can only assume is the bathroom opens, and Luna nervously takes half a step back.
>This, of course, leaves you in full facial contact with her rear end.
>She bites back a moan, and you try to regulate your breathing, limiting motion of your face.
>Even through the latex of the suit, you can smell her, feel nearly every detail.
>The two of you stay there motionless, and it's not long before there's the sounds of the other ponies leaving.
>She hold this position a moment longer, straining to hear sounds, before letting out her held breath and opening the stall door.
>With room to move again, you straighten out and stand, working out the pains from that awkward position.
>Awkward in more ways than one.
>Luna's barely able to look at you, her cheeks a vivid red.
>"It seems the, er..., we do not see any other ponies in the vicinity. We need to press onward."
"Lead the way. I'm assuming you know at least the basic layout of here?"
>"We have been here before, as it often holds important events that are not suited to the castle."
>Motioning you forward, she silently moves down the hall, peeking around the next corner.
>"If our spell was correct, this should be the second story lavatory, and as such, we need to go down before entering the main hall."
>Silently trotting down the hall, she keeps her ears swiveling, searching for sounds.
>You follow close behind, remaining as quiet as you can.
>At a split in the hall, she glances left and right, before motioning you to follow her down the right path.
>After all, taking the wrong one would be bad.
>>24995551
>Laughing internally at your joke, you almost miss her ears shooting forward.
>"A guard approaches. We must hide immediately."
>Testing a knob right behind you, you find it unlocked and rush inside, tugging Luna with you.
~~~
>Anon's hand guides you into a room, the door being closed right behind you.
>As it does, darkness sets in, save a small sliver of light from under the door.
>The sound of hoofsteps and shifting armour gets closer, and the two of you move to the side of the door.
>Pauses in the sounds indicate stops in the patrol, and just outside of your door, it stops too.
>Clicks sound as the knob turns, your pulse rising in your chest, and the door opens slightly.
>It doesn't stay open long, as the guard outside is satisfied, and you hear the sounds of the lock being engaged.
>Oh buck...
>Locked in a room with Anon.
>In the dark..
>All alone...
>Perhaps this isn't as bad as it seems.
>Leaning to rest on Anon, you stumble as it turns out he's not there.
>You hear the knob gently tested, before Anon sighs.
>"Damn. Unless you have some sort of unlocking magic, it looks like we need to find another way out."
"None that wouldn't trigger countless alarms here. Perhaps we can use the vents?"
>Lighting up your horn, a blue glow fills the room.
>Searching around, you look for a maintenance grate.
>"Found one!" Anon says, head down flank up under a table.
>Unf~
>Kneeling down next to him, you look at the vent and there's an immediate problem.
>There's no way you'll fit in there.
>>24995555
>Even Anon would have to squeeze quite tightly.
>Getting stuck...
>His lower half free to be used...
>Nay, not is not the time for such thoughts.
>That can come later.
>"Hmn... Maybe you can just teleport us to the other side of the door?"
"Indeed we can, but it doesn't feel appropriate..."
>"Well, it seems like it's that, or we use your horn or something to try and pick the lock."
"We can teleport us," you reply quickly, shuddering at the thought of sticking your horn in that lock.
>With a surge of magic and a close hug from Anon, you teleport to the other side, looking around quickly.
>No ponies are in sight, but the two of you have to move.
>Re-orienting, you tug Anon along with magic, leading him to a way down.
>Descending quickly down the stairs, you near the main hall.
>Excited chatter slowly rises in the background, and coming to a door, you peek through to see the main hall, seats and stands packed to the brim.
>There's no security at this door, more than likely they have all the entrances guarded, as well as patrols like the one earlier.
>Silenty opening the door, you duck inside with Anon, pulling him under the bleachers with you.
>The view isn't ideal, but the main hologram is still mostly visible, and you aren't likely to be spotted.
>And like this, well, the two of you could get into... things without being caught.
>Anon sits down, shuffling a bit to find a good spot.
>Seating yourself next to him, you extend a wing out, tentativel stretching around Anon's back.
>He shifts, and your wing snaps back silently.
>Stay calm, Luna, thy time will arrive.
>>24995564
>Matches start, and you find your attention drawn away from Anon somewhat.
>Several tables are cycled through on the hologram, lingering on more interesting parts.
>Of course, this is just the beginning of eliminations, so some matches are quite one sided.
>At one table, Slugnoids mow down Celestial Dawn, rather fast and hard.
>The pony controling them seems familiar, until you hear Anon say, "Ah, that's the pony from the game store."
"Indeed she is. It seems she is quite skilled, to be playing in this tournament"
>"AND WE HAVE OUR FIRST VICTORY!" The Voicemare announces, the hologram showing the last of the Celestial Dawn getting taken out by the Slugnoids.
>"And to our defeated, don't worry, there is still the defeated bracket with a chance to come back as a wild card in the main standings."
>A sudden touch draws your attention far from the happenings, though, as you feel something wrap around you.
>Anon's arm is around you.
>But it's supposed to be your wing around him.
>After some deliberation, you decide it can be both, and reach a wing around him as well, leaning into him slightly.
>His attention is held by the matches, when you see his jaw suddenly drop.
>Following his eyes, you see what surprised him, and you find yourself equeally shocked.
>Sitting there, on a private seat, is your sister, calmly watching the games.
~~~
>Stamping your hooves in applause, you smile at both the victor and the defeated.
>To think you almost forgot about this tournament, as well as your ticket for you and a plus one.
>Of course, Luna has hers as well, though it seems she forgot entirely.
>Still, at least she's enjoying herself.
>Glancing over, you smile at the fluctuating mass that is her mane, visible under the stands.
>And beside her, her colt crush, Anon.
>Well, you can let her little... escapades slip for now.
>Looking back to the fields of play, you can see another game coming in to a close.
~~~
>>24995579
>Quietly cheering with Luna, you watch skilled armies duke it out across numerous battlefields.
>While you wish you had snacks, it's still quite enjoyable.
>The mare from the game shop is doing well, breezing through to the finals.
>Her opponent is a very strong Lunar Knights player, much like the pony resting on your side.
>Something suddenly nudges your leg, and you look down to see a pair of drinks and some popcorn with a note.
>The note is a simple pony face winking, and you look over just in time to see Celestia wink at you.
>Hmmm...
>Well, this solves the snack problem.
>Holding the second drink up for Luna, she looks at you questioningly, and you wiggle the fingers on your free hand.
"A little human magic," you say as she takes it with her magic, "I even have popcorn."
>"Thank you, this is much appreciated."
>She gives you a smile, which you return in earnest, turning your attention to this final match.
>If these two are some of the best, it will be well worth the experience watching it.
>And it is.
>Their formations move excelently, Troops skirmishing with minimal loss.
>Every unit plays it's role, and every dice roll changes the course of the battle.
>Game Shop Girl hits hard with her Zilla's, but Lunar Knights Lass holds strong.
>Troops fall on either side, but the fate of this game is to be decided by a single roll.
>>24995585
>A last Muster Courage, rolled at max power gives the Lunar Knights enough strength to sweep the last of the Slugnoids.
>The entire room erupts into stomping applause, the VoiceMare announcing the winner.
"What do you say we head out before things get busy?" you say to Luna, your voice more than adeqeuately covered by the ambient sounds.
>"A sound idea," she replies, pushing in against you before charging magic.
>Grabbing hold of her, the two of you teleport back to the castle with a lurch.
>Once your stomach and vision settle, you find yourself outside a room you don't recognize.
>"That was quite enjoyable, although if we were to be caught, it would have been bad."
"I know, and sorry, but also, thanks," you say with a smile.
>As she smiles back, you lean down, her eyes going wider as you get closer.
>You move forward suddenly, kissing her right on the nose, before standing and going to the door.
"Thanks again, Luna."
>A bright red cheeked nod is all you get back, before the door is closed and you're on your way.
~~~
>You...
>I...
>He...
>Giving up trying to form a coherent thought, you simply let fillyish instinct take over, and squeal in joy.
>Prancing around the room, you run the scene in your head over and over, absorbing every detail of that wonderful moment.
>Wait, this means he likes you.
>Perhaps even more so.
>He knows you like him, as he understood your prior excitement, and perhaps he simply wishes to take his time with courtship.
>But he is a more modern colt, at the same time, so perhaps that kiss was even permission to act close to him in public...
>Letting out another squeal, you strip out of your hot and now quite sticky and slick suit.
>It will need some intense cleaning, but for now, some equally intence mare time is required.
~~~
And done. Pastebin is still here : http://pastebin.com/c2DCbdBc
>>24995589
You should crosspost more often
Probably been asked before, but what would pones think if you showed them something like this, or a similar clip from a movie or documentary: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8bt3quhLmK4
It sounds like in a lot of these stories Anon may tell them that men are the primary breadwinners in his world, and are the dominant of the two genders, but it seems like in these stories the ponies can't seem to understand how that can ever be possible. Mostly played for laughs though.
>>24987416
>Anon is at a bar
>Sees an attractive mare (Rarara or some shit for example)
>He wolf-whistles
>Starts flirting with her
>Oblivious to the confused internal freakouts around himnor the rumors born from them
>>24995483
>"THE TREES! CHARLIE IN THE TREES" Anon cries
Mein sides
>>24996118
Does that charlie happen to be Charlie Horse?
>>24996139
Yeah.
That asshole keeps digging tunnels and scaring everyone when he pops out with a water gun.
>>24995551
so l-lewd
>>24995589
hhhnggg
>>24995987
They'll schlick to hot human amazons, clearly.
>>24997449
That leg pose...
>>24997172
I didn't even consider that, Anon.
>>24997172
Any human female is an amazon compared to a regular pony mare.
>>24997954
I think he meant that a powerful human male would be an Amazon to pony mares.
>>24998019
Wait what about amarezon stallions?
>>24995589
luna is a Q T
>>24999185
even at their most hard core, amarezon stallons are still prone to balking at the levels of violence anon and humans in general are capable of
The royal guard are descended from a tribe of such stallions and maintain the same training and even then still buckle like wet tissue paper
>>24999968
>Royal Guard are Amarezonian.
I'm liking this idea
>>25000098
The really tough guards can take a boo boo without blubbering into hysterics
and they know which way to point the spear
and how to thrust
learning how to thrust was the most uncomfortable experience for them since their trainer was a very sexist mare who kept throwing out innuendo
>"Hey Anon, are those hay chips you're eating?"
"Nah, I can't stomach hay unless it's hot and greasy. These are potato chips."
>"Haha! Good one, Anon, but I know you wouldn't kill yourself!"
"Who said anything about killing myself? I dug up some wild potatoes, chopped them up, and baked them into chips."
>"Nonny... Are those really potatoes?"
"Yeah, what's wrong? Pinkie?"
>"Nonny, please spit it out! I love you!"
"What the fuck is going on?"
>"We were going to have such a life together, and now you're killing yourself!"
"They're healthier than storebought ones-"
>"I LOVE YOU! NOOOOO!"
>>25000280
>Guard Mares angry that stallions can get in under different physical requirements then mares.
>Pegasai stallions only have to do 10 wing-ups, and not even full reps like guard mares have to do their 75.
>Unicorn stallions only have to be able to lift a large watermellon using magic unlike unicorn mares who have to lift 2 large statues of Celestia (Pre-Diet Era ones).
>Earth stallions only have to buck 5 trees in a row, and they only need to drop one apple each, and even that part is sometimes waived, vs the earth mares who need to buck 50 trees in a row and drop at least 10 apples with each buck.
>Mares complain that with these lowered standards for stallions, they may not be able to react adaquetly to any dangers that Equestria would face, and as such may endanger the lives they are exactly trying to help.
We humans would never do anything like that, right guys? Especially not in fields like fire fighting, the military, and police?
>>25000630
>We humans would never do anything like that, right guys? Especially not in fields like fire fighting, the military, and police?
many keks were had.
>>25000483
>"They're healthier than storebought ones-"
>>"I LOVE YOU! NOOOOO!"
I laughed
>>25000630
>We humans would never do anything like that
Oh god I just realised. There's a quote where someone said "Women have to do twice as well as men to be considered half as good". It isn't that way at all now, is it? Now you have to do twice as well as women to be considered half as note-worthyor you know something clever and political.
Mares would probably see it as human matriarchy keeping the good gentleman down or something. Someone should write about that. If only I could write.
>>25000483
I want Anon who has a small garden where he grows vegetables.The twist is that many, if not all of the vegetables we consume are poisonous to tiny horses
>>25000748
>>25000483
Misunderstandings are fun, but wouldn't they realize that Anon eats different things due to not being a pony?
>>25000824
That's the joke.
>>25000731
>According to a study at Cornell University, "the under-representation of women in firefighting is an alarming inequity that needs to be immediately addressed,” said Francine Moccio, director of the institute and co-author of the report, “A National Report Card on Women in Firefighting,” which was presented at the International Association of Women in Fire and Emergency Services meeting, April 24, in Phoenix, Arizona. “Women are not getting recruited and hired because of an occupational culture that is exclusionary and unequal employment practices in recruiting, hiring, assigning and promoting women generally – and women of color in particular – in fire service,” Moccio added.
There are people who think this. Oh my fucking god. Anyways, I'll step away from talking about the real world problems before I get too heated about it, talking about it in pony land is fine though.
Is there a pony stallion equivelant of pic related?
>>25000824
What >>25000848 said.
Still, a good adventure fic finding how to manipulate the world by exploiting these oddities is something that attracts me. I think it started with the 'equestrian alcohol is really weak' premise so long ago.
>>25000656
>>25000731
>>25000883
I love the RGRE threads but it sucks when people treat it like a soapbox. I come here for goofy horse antics, not an angry lecture about patriarchy or misandry or whatever.
I'd love to see a green where Anon finds and falls in love with a super girly mare. To him, she'd be like a girl from Earth, but to Equestrians, their relationship would look like a super gay guy dating a butch lesbian.
>>25002346
dry your tears friend
>>25002397
YES
I LOVE IT
>>25002397
Apparently I don't have the summoning writefag poster, so here's the best reaction pic I can find for you.
>>25002397
Bonus points if the mare is actually gay, but she's just in denial about it.
>>25002397
There was a Bonbon fic around based on this. Gentlesir + very fragile delicate BonBon
>>25003509
Ya got a link to this fam?
>>25003602
I agree, i wanna read the crap out of that
>>25003987
Thirded
>>25004587
Yes hello I also want thing.
>>25002397
>>25003602
>>25003987
>>25004587
>>25004947
Not that anon but I think this is the one
http://pastebin.com/exAm1L4G
>>25005341
YESSSSS
>>25005341
>UNFINISHED
FUCK.
EVERY TIME
MANLY MEN MAKING MESSES OUT OF MINIATURE MISANDRIST MARES.
>>25003509
>BonBon
I just can't read BonBon anymore. LaP has so perfectly nailed BonBon in his Fucking BonBon series that if I read her in any other way it'll just disappoint.
>>25005772
LaP? got a link?
>>25005840
>http://pastebin.com/u/LaPsbin
Love and Powerlifting, a based writefag. He started the series here, but a couple of turboautists screamed about how it wasn't RGRE enough so he moved it over to AiE.
>>25005857
And we over at AiE thank you for him. I get hyped every time I see him post.
>>25005918
Yeah, I usually avoid AiE like the plague, have for over a year now, but once I heard LaP was posting over there after Turbo 'n Crew ran him outta here I threw it back up on the thread watcher.
But yeah, LaP is fun as hell to read. His stuff on FiMFiction is soild as well.
>>25005857
Fuck that pissed me off.
>>24963486
I can't speak for everyone who was disapointed by the ending, but I disliked the way it ended cause the way it was presented and set up especially with the Twilight POV's suggested that their would be a lot more shenanigans with Twilight trying to worm her way into Anon's heart using princess powers and whatnot. That and Shukanigger promised he would elaborate more one the business laws in he briefly went into at the beginning and show how they would make sense in a protective sexism way and not the "Prevent the Jews from taking our money" Nazi way it was initially presented as initially. He didn't do either and ended it quckly presumably because he lost interest, which peeved me and few other people (me especially so since I had 0 interest in barbarian Celestia)
>>24995589
Luna is top adorable and innocent. This needs more forward aggressive anon lewd.... oh and tabletop games I guess, but Luna lewd is more important
>>25005341
Will ZedjaBlack ever return (I can't even remember if that was the name he posted with)?
Maybe we should use that pastebin email thingy
>>25005857
>>25005953
>>25005918
Uh If I recall correctly a bunch of people over in AiE spammed him to cross post over here and then about 5 people here said it didn't fit the general. The Bon-Bon stuff started in AiE like he said he would switch over to after hole anon.
>>25006273
>Uh If I recall correctly. . .
I don't think you're remembering that right.
He started his story, Love and Powerlifting, here. He did some other stuff for other threads, small one shots, but he was a regular here. He tried a different thing, got bitched at for not being RGRE, then he did the Bonbon thing, got bitched at again, and that's when he went to AiE full time.
RGRE fucked that one up. Not everyone, but the autists made enough noise to get him to change his main thread to AiE.
>>24963037
>>24984567
This.
I want more of this Anon acting like a man and not being a passive fuck and just obseving things happening to him with no action. Please write more based writefriends.
>>25002346
I wanted to say a thing I realised and the other guy says right in his post that he'll stop. And both of us ended it with trying to change the topic back to pone.
>>25006367
Umm no Anon I was there when he started his BonBon adventures anon story in AIE. Yes he started his stories here but after He finished the one with Anon digging a holes story he sad he was going to go post over in AiE. Hell when he finished posting the first part of the BonBon stuff over there he explained why he didn't post it in RGR roles because he didn't think it was RGR enough here
https://desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24311638/#24357939
And he withheld from doing so until someone (probably drunk) people bugged him to cross post which is what he said happen here https://desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24448321/#24521708
And then a few people said it didn't belong here cause it wasn't RGR. So he didn't cross post anymore.
Don't you try to rewrite autistic history m8. Don't you know I'm the autism king?
>>25006577
It doesn't matter where he started his Fucking BonBon story. What matters is autists always ruin things for everyone around them. They're also why so many people have a negative and often false perception of AiE threads.
>>25006672
It sort of does matter. I said something someone said I was wrong so I proved that I was right. I'm petty like that.
And how exactly was anything ruined? LaP wanted to write something that wasn't RGR so he went over to AiE and started writing. People who want to read his work regardless of what he's writing can still do that and people who don't aren't bothered by it. No one drove him to AiE he went there himself and presumably if he started writing RGR green again he'd post it here. Literally nothing was lost. The nigger really didn't want to cross post over here anyway and only did so cause he thought people would get mad at him if he didn't, which turned out to be wrong.
And AiE got its reputation from how it treated new writers the entirety of 2014 and beginning of 2015. It isn't that way now and people who portray it that way haven't been there in a while (I myself was guilty of that 2 months ago), but to claim that the reputation for being toxic was all fabrication by autist is just lying because m8 it was and was for quite sometime.
>>24995589
Moonbutt is for flustered lewd. I demand more good sir.
Kind of wanted anon to actually take place in the tournament, but I suppose there is next year (also implying 40k is 80% RNG anyway competitive game my ass)
>>25000630
>Earth stallions only have to buck 5 trees in a row, and they only need to drop one apple each, and even that part is sometimes waived, vs the earth mares who need to buck 50 trees in a row and drop at least 10 apples with each buck.
There are still people RIGHT NOW who think knocking apples off a tree is any sort of great effort.
You do realize that when apples ripen the connecting stem weakens to a point where a strong enough wind can knock them down? Because it would make sense for the tree to easily spread its seeds around after they finish developing?
Seriously go find a wild crab (if you live on apple orchard you can try it there, but if you do I reckon you already know this) apple tree towards the end of the season when the branches are heavy with apples and just hit the trunk with a stick (not hard enough to knock off bard though) or lightly shake it in a hug. See what happenswear a helmet.
Sorry about the rant, but y'all need to learn to apple.
>>25000483
There hasn't been any Pinkie RGR have there? That needs to be fixed.
>>25005341
I remember him. Whatever happen to him anyway he just disappeared? I mean at least we know what happened to gardening anon as he comes back occasionally along with Amoeba, but he just vanished without a warning like oblivious.
>>25005857
>>25005953
>>25006367
>>25006577
>>25006672
>>25006750
>complaining about autist
>while on a little horsey fan fiction thread on /mlp/
wew lads
>>25006750
You're one of them AiE Autists shills aren't you?
>>25006884
Actually I was an anti-shill up until uhh July I think, but no that particular post is the first time I've typed "AiE" in this thread ever. Don't know about >>25006672 and >>25005918 though.
>Rainbow crashes at Twilights, complaining about how it is Anon's time of the month.
>About how he's so easily riled up and unsanitary getting blood everywhere.
>Twilight also finds this to be gross and helps Dash by confronting him.
>"Anon you have got to stop this. Your making a mess dripping blood everywhere and tits gross."
>Anon looks down at his blood covered shirt, >Then the butcher knife in his hand
>Then the dead boar behind him.
"I swear to Jackie Chan, if you jewpony me from this bacon on the one day a month I eat meat, I will set fire to Fluttershys chicken coop and celebrate thanksgiving early."
>>25006970
>how it is Anon's time of the month
Horses don't get periods in general.
Also how would that even work for RGR stallions anyway? ....Actually no don't tell me how it would work I don't want to think about.
>>25006984
They meant the day of the month he eats meat.
>how would that even work for RGR stallions anyway?
I like the idea of it but I don't think anything biological would compel them to be bitchy. Maybe some sort of anniversary for stallions trying to make a point, like the anniversary of a leap in rights or something.
>>25006984
How about you read past the first sentence
>>25006997
>>25007002
I know what it actually is but the line
"About how he's so easily riled up"
And the fact that Twilight doesn't freak out about blood being everywhere implies she understands whats going on as common
>monthly anniversaries along with holidays and parents visiting
Christ it would suck to be a mare
>>25007059
>And the fact that Twilight doesn't freak out about blood being everywhere
Presumably she's seen this before and this event must have happened often enough that she and Dash know it as his "time of the month (for meat)".
>>25006984
Every month a stallion's dick explodes only to grow back over the course of a week. This puts them in a pissy no sex mood and gets blood everywhere. Anon's current marefriend is elated at the revelation that his dick doesn't explode monthly.
![Male_and_Female_mallard_ducks[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/7lg5tVJ.jpg "Male_and_Female_mallard_ducks[1].jpg")
>>25007081
Did you know that at the end of each mating season, a duck's penis falls off and regrows when it's time for the next one? AND it gets bigger depending on how many rivals it has! It's also barbed and explodes outwards in a sort of corkscrew motion when it's time for sex.
I'd bump this thread
