I want to serve Equestria with my fellow Horsefuckers
>>22022142
>You will never ride into battle with your fellow horsefuckers
>You will never just stand around awkwardly once you get there because all this worlds problems are solved by friendship lasers
>You will never be known as "the knights who try to do feats of heroism but are just too slow"
>tfw we will never to be able to end earthly conflicts with friendship lasers
>>22022142
What armor would we even use? Would the ponies make royal guard armor for us? Do we get to choose what armor from Earth we want? Do all of us have to wear the same armor, or can we have diversity in our ranks?
What would you guys choose?
>>22022670
>>22022670
>>22022670
obviously all of us would have glorious
>pic related
>>22022726
deus vult
>>22022756
get out of here edgelord faggotron
>>22022966
>edgelord
Fine, is this better?
>You will never look into the sky and be comforted knowing you have superior air support.
>>22022988
>armor is still a glowy fagrag
no
>>22022670
>>22023330
Aside from the helmet, where is the glow?
Also, how about this? No edgy arcane runes and no glowshit helmet, you happy?
>>22022670
>>22022902
>>22022920
>>22023403
stuff like this but with more plate armor like some pauldrans and a breast plate
I'm a coward, so I'll be cheering you guys on.
>>22022920
>>22023410
nope that armor is impractical in manufacturing and wear-ability.
>>22023495
How?
>>22023410
>implying there is biosuits in equestria
this obviously does not go with the whole "only primitive technology" thingkill yourself
>>22023330
>not liking glowing armor
I bet you don't even sculpt.
>>22023507
vidya games are unrealistic thats how
>>>/v/
>>22023520
But that doesn't explain your previous statement.
>>22023516
all of us having glowing armor would look stupid
it'd be better just to have plate or chain armor
>>22023547
i wasn't the op
>>22022670
>>22023520
Fuck it, why don't we dress it has this then?
>>22023410
>>22022988
>>22022756
>posting mass effect shit in a EQ army thread
>>22023577
>Implying that is Op
>>22022966
>>22022988
>>22023577
>>22023599
>>22023600
why are there so many dubs in this thread
>>22023600
>Implying Mass Effect
Special Horsefucker Division dressed in full plate armor, assembled into large Phalanx's. We serve and heed the princess's call whenever they would need us.
>>22023601
the op of the post holeass
>>22023600
>Posting memes in a EQ army thread.
>>22023547
notice it's practicality and customizability. no over engineering here. modern armor has no use for jutting metal plates and helmets that severely block visibility
>>22022142
>You will never ride her to glorious battle
>>22022670
Gothic
>>22022670
>All these faggots choosing shitty crusader gear
THIS is the Armor we need
>>22023669
This
>>22023668
For the Goddess, her Honor guard stands at the ready! Only the most skillful and dedicated Sunfags may prove one's worth among their ranks!
>>22022670
>>22023676
i like the helmet of the guys that's looking away
>>22023669
We be these guys!, Storm the Bridge men!!!
At 1:27
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zeYz56_oJwg>>22023669
>>22022670
>>22022670
>armor
>not being completely naked
>not psyching every single creature out with our nude bodies
>them completely unaware of what to do against such a foe as we are normally wearing clothes
>us not even harming them unless threatened, more or less just making them feel uncomfortableor very comfortable
>>22023668
good, because then she might get hurt
>>22023658
im not the guy ur arguing with but modern armor would be impractical because all of the other armies in EQ use spears and swords so there would be little protection
>>22023687
*tips helmet*
>>22023741
Sexually intimidate then in to defeat.
Green when?
>all these fags choosing medieval armor
the fuck i want to walk/ride around all day in armor for?
We need Slavshit
We need a fearless and wise King
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUfbAVLP14E
>>22023795
They live in a world where melee weapons are the norm and they have no guns. Armor makes sense
>>22023772
yeah i know. and dead spaces armor did show good protection against puncture. but fuck sci-fi bio-suit armor for looking so stupid.
but an arrow wouldn't do shit against a ceramic plat
>>22023820
so we didn't make guns (something we have a very good knowledge of) because?
I like the idea of Anons from different cultures having there own divisions in the Equestrian military. But then you get the Japanese Anons picking fights with the Euro Anons and such. Constantly trying to out do each other on the battlefield.
Obligatory
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5yRi1jgOlE
>>22023790
Boner at the ready!
> charge
>>22023864
Do you actually know how to make a rile from scratch?
Replace Jesus with Celestia SOMEONE
>>22023893
>metal tube
>gunpowder
>bullet
>fire
the possibilities for experimentation are nearly endless. we have the basic idea of a self-loading weapon.
>>22023893
Comrade, I am seriously of hoping you don't believe that on mlp there is of kommandos
>>22024028
Exactly.
We should start at crossbows and work our way from there. Maybe the zebras have an idea on how to make a gunpowder substitute.
>>22024028
no which is why i asked
>>22024054
kek
>>22023963
Had R&D whip something up from those specifications anon.
>>22024071
There are worse ways to die than a gunshot
and all of these ways are readily available in massive quantities
>>22022142
Well let's see, if you guys went to Equestria you have no way to know if it is like canonically portrayed or if it might be different.
If it's not you have 50% to either no problem or ending in someplace way more unpleasant than you could imagine
>>22024149
Kek
>>22024152
>Anthrax
>Not smallpox
>>22024149
we are making progress
>>22024199
>smallpox
>30-35% mortality rate
Call back when you break 75%.
>>22024234
>75% at best
>>22022670
I wanna be that guy, yeah, you know the guy
You plebs not want to server under our one true king
>>22024152
>>22024199
>>22024234
>>22024300
How would we even weaponize disease?
This is what we do
Armor
Guards are given spartan esq steel armor with no chainmail, chainmail is replaced with a regular tunic or long sleeved shirt which is coloured white or dark blue depending on what time the guard does his rounds. Guard armor still has pauldrons. Soldiers will be given crusader esq armor with chainmail and plates. The soldiers armor has a steel breastplate, gauntlets that cover all of the hand, thick boots that go up to the shin, steel pauldrons, and a faraam helmet
Weapons:
Every soldier and guard is equiped with an ulfberht sword. Castle guards are given halberds during shifts so every enemy pony/thing that sees the guard will be intimidated and civilians will feel safe. Spears will be replaced with a recreation of the Mosin Nagant with a bayonet (this will replace archers as well). Guards will also be given zweihanders (again for the intimidation factor of a 6 foot set of armor holding a giant fucking sword) it will be their choice for which weapon they use during their rounds but guards protecting the throne room during daycourt and nightcourt will be forced to use the zweihander. This does not apply to the guards stationed outside the throne room doors. The shield for the soldiers would be a basic kite shield with the insignia of the sun, or the moon, for the guards depending on which time of day they do their rounds or which court they guard. Soldiers will also be equiped with a kite shield but their insignia would be >pic related but more of a gray color. Each and every soldier/guard is given a 6" - 9'' dagger for close quarters.
>>22024474
throw the heads and bodies of the dead deceased over the walls with catapults
or just send the diseased over the walls alive
If we're going to do some praising, better get it done right.
>>22024522
>The shield for the soldiers would be a basic kite shield with the insignia of the sun, or the moon, for the guards depending on which time of day they do their rounds or which court they guard.
>The shield for the guards would be a basic kite shield with the insignia of the sun, or the moon, for the guards depending on which time of day they do their rounds or which court they guard.**
I ghoofed
>>22024199
>>22024234
>>22024300
>Not Spanish Flu
>Nobody wants Rajput
Slavshit for medieval gear is the best because it combines the eastern and western arms and armor philosophies.
I want literal horsefuckers to go die in a ditch.
>>22025273
Wrong thread, bruh
>>22024759
Chocolate cake is great.
Taking a big shit is great.
Combining chocolate cake and a big shit... not so great.
>Not a single Anon deciding to wear theJudgementarmor.
But to be fair, theSun Knightset is a good choice too.
>>22025656
not
>>>22023669
>not tuetonic
>INCURSION WARNING
>CITY 1 BIOTIC BREACH
>CONTAINMENT FIELD: COMPROMISED
>INTERNAL STABILIZATION TEAMS DEPLOY, ENGAGE RESERVE
>SHIELD; CONTAIN; STERILIZE
>PRIORITY ALERT
>ALICORN PRIME NON-RESPONSIVE
>GROUND UNITS DEPRIORITIZE BIOTIC CONTAINMENT
>LOCATE; DIAGNOSE; STABILIZE
>MISSION FAILURE WILL RESULT IN PERMANENT OFF WORLD REASSIGNMENT
>CODE REMINDER: DUTY; SACRIFICE; HARMONY
>you faggots don't even know how to use a sword properly
there's a lot more behind it than just swinging and stabbing
I will get myself an armor like this and fuck shit up with an sword which is 2 METERS long
I wonder how long it will take all the autists to talk about BIDENHÄNDER
>>22025656
Praise the light brother.
>anon probably can't even lift for shit
>gotta end like a truemanlet with the power of the true nature, covered in the wooden armor
>died in 3 sec being on the battlefield
>>22022142
Protect and Serve, Protect and serve...
>>22024631
>kite shield
Nigga we most likely wouldn't be riding on horses, a round shield, (particularly a larger one) or something along the lines of a Scutum would be better. As for why no guns. Is ammonium nitrate and straight out sulfur going to be normal in Equestria. Also, metal tube styles are inaccurate as fuck and have been known to misfire in explosive ways.
>>22024759
This nigga knows what's up, well for the most part, those shields are shit.
>>22026138
>implying I haven't studied Cold Steel.
>implying 90% isn't building up muscles and tendons to handle swinging 2.5-4.5 pounds of steel.
>Implying I'd go with that rather than a Long Sword or any backsword.
>>22026137
Nice to see someone in this thread has good taste.
>>22022670
This. And wreck everything with a fucking monster maul.
sorry chaps,but ill be with the griffins raiding yo coasts. from the sky most likely.
![cossackslaughing[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/xQU51lE.jpg "cossackslaughing[1].jpg")
>Horsefuckers write a letter to Celestia
>>22023807
>wanting to abdicate the throne from our benevolent goddess
>>22022670
I love the full plate style and think it would be the best for protection. However, I'm big on mobility and have a hard-on for Greek armor and weapons, so I'd likely suit up as a richer hoplite who got the breastplate and everything
One unbreakable shield against the coming darkness,
One final blade, forged in defiance of fate.
Let them be my legacy to the galaxy I conquered,
And my final gift to the species I failed.
No being shall escape the Light.
I must die to save the sun? I must replace it's fuel? After all my fighting, I cannot enjoy the fruit of my labor?
I can become grossly incandescent?I will die for my Princess.
I am the wall that the Darkness breaks itself against.
i stand by your side, brother
>>22028193
>>22028179
>>22028164
>>22028153
That's my best suggestions. Any objections?
>>22023584
I only just realised Sir Gwayne's shield has a chicken on it. I feel like I missed a good Python moment
>>22026066
T-Knights master race
Also dubs.
>Everone wants medieval stylings and thinks they could actually handle a sword
>Nobody ever suggests archer division
>Assumes /k/ommandos will create firearms that won't explode your hand & face
>while clean, shiny armored twats pose for pics...
>>22026137
Mah nigga.
Thursday, March 5th, Year 2 of the 6th Equestrian Age, Day four of... whatever this is.
>In an attempt to quell the newfound chaos within Her Solar Majesty's royal army, Princess Celestia has appointed me captain of a newly formed "auxiliary" division, if you could call it that.
>My orders are to organize this mass of blathering Anons into a proper military unit using any means necessary. A simple tour of out barracks was all I needed to confirm that this will be no easy task.
>The, uh... "soldiers" are teetering on he brink of riot as they argue what this new division of the Equestrian army will be called.
>Since there are no dubs, trips, or quints to decide, they are forced to come to a conclusion by actually agreeing upon something
>Perhaps I should intervene
>Celestia help my poor soulwritefag reporting for duty, sir
>>22028477
Sunday, March 8th, Year 2 of the 6th Equestrian Age, Day 7 of Sunbutt's Harem
>It's taken a few days, but I've managed to quell the masses by staging a simple lottery. Every unit was ordered to write a name down upon a slip of paper and deposit it into a box. Easy.
>Of course the first thing I drew had something to do with sex. In fact, upon sampling a few submissions, I concluded that at least eighty percent had something to do with sex.
>I asked the Princess about this, and for some reason she had no opinion on the issue, and allowed it to pass. I did not know if the redness in her cheeks was embarrassment or flattery. Perhaps both.
>>22026137
this
time for you to start that fanfic
>>22028593
Monday, March 16th, Year 2 of the 6th Equestrian Age, Day 15 of Sunbutt's Harem
>After some back-and-forth with the army's blacksmith, fletchery, and provisions departments, we've managed to procure enough basic necessities to begin operating. Each of my nine hundred and fifty three soldiers are outfitted with some form of chainmail armor, made of iron by the looks of it. We now have access to a slew of classic medieval weapons such as shortswords, longspears, maces, heater shields, bows, and crossbows, and enough ammo to fire them.
>I've organized the division into five units of one hundred and ninety, and each of those units into five "herds" of thirty eight, and those herds into three squads of ten and one of eight. It isn't as symmetrical as I'd like it to be, but at least we have some semblance of order.
>I've tired to pair as many men with the same taste in waifu together as I could.
>I've got an entire unit composed strictly of Twifags
>Perhaps it would be best if I requested duty far away from Ponyville.
>>22022670
Wear this because we'd be a legion of unstoppable knights
>>22028477
>>22028593
write moar faster
please
>>22028765
DON'T STOP
>>22022142
Given the level of technology involved, I'd imagine it would depend on funding.
Gothic or other late plate would be ideal if we had infinite funding, but we'd probably be focused around pike&shot type stuff, as it would be a generally good balance between what there is available and how much it would cost. Just more or less guessing considering how much variation there is in Equestria's tech level.
>>22028949
I'd figure it more of a "Run what ya brung" approach.
We'd all show up with whatever it is we have and be organized accordingly.
>>22028765
Wednesday, April 1st, Year 2 of the 6th Equestrian Age, Day 31 of Sunbutt's Harem
>We've finally received some orders!
>Thanks the stars. The men have been getting restless as of late. I've put most of the unskilled to work sparring with each other, and those with practical skills teaching classes to those we've deemed responsible enough. i.e One of the soldiers was a paramedic before the spacial-temporal event brought us here to Equestria, and soon enough we'll have a somewhat knowledgeable medic in each squad. Those of us that have confirmed hundreds of hours playing Chivalry: Medieval Warfare are leading the sparring drills. Mortal Kombat fags have been teaching hand-to-hand, which is somewhat mired by not being able to rip people's spines out for real
>Anyway, Princess Luna has ordered our entire division to the Crystal Empire of all places.
>It seems that Princess Pink's military is somewhat lacking, as most of the population believe in using weaponized love as a deterrent for any hostile forces.
>Because it worked SOOO well for keeping The Slave King at bay.
>>22028277
>>22026066
>teutons
>Retards who couldn't do shit in the holylands so they decided to fuck with the catholic poland and steal land like a bunch of retards.
>>22029000
>Mortal Kombat fags have been teaching hand-to-hand, which is somewhat mired by not being able to rip people's spines out for real
>Glorius Battlemage reporting in
With the possibility of magic and enchantments I could finally live my dream. I would study magic under Twilight and fight along side my fellow horsefuckers
>>22029000
Tuesday, April 7th, Year 2 of the 6th Equestrian Age, Day 37 of Sunbutt's Harem
>Baby's first maneuvers have been going well. Apparently, the Crystal Empire is quite a bit more hostile than depicted on the show.
>It's really damn cold up here
>The men have been calling it "fucking Skyrim with horses"
>Outside the magical bubble shield-thingy, the Empire consists of miles and miles of rocky frozen wasteland and several isolated patches of taiga forests.
>These wild lands are host to a menagerie of wild beasts bigger and meaner than any human or pony could ever be
>Our first contact was what our crystal guard guides called "Ice Phantoms"
>It was some kind of crystal pony, only even more transparent and lacking any mane or tail.
>A horde of them, maybe fifty in number, attacked our Flutterfag unit
>The soldiers they fought like waterbenders or someshit
>Several my men returned with pencil-thin spikes of ice sticking out from between the links in their mail
>Reports showed that the swordsmen and archer squads couldn't deal any effective blows, but luckily there were two squads of macemen to smash the things to pieces
>Several men were reported wounded, two in critical condition, but thankfully none were killed in the attack. On the bright side, he entire horde was reduced to a pile of ice.
>Maybe this whole division wasn't such a bad idea after all.
>>22029207
Spetsnaz Horsefucker Unit when?
![condom-wrappers-and-parenting-wins.jpg[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/3ZdRdAA.jpg "condom-wrappers-and-parenting-wins.jpg[1].jpg")
>>22022670
>riding into battle
>armor
>>22029207
>Units whose anons fight for their waifus
>"Do it for her"
>Ponka peforming to the Ponkafag unit before a great battle
This is brilliant
>>22029207
Friday, April 10th, Year 2 of the 6th Equestrian Age, Day 40 of Sunbutt's Harem
>I'm pleased to report that our maneuvers outside of the Empire has been a success.
>After three days patrolling the city's perimeter, it had become clear to me just how badly they needed us.
>less than a week on duty and the man have faced more ice phantoms, dire polar bears, hostile pine tree ents (that's isn't even a joke), a tatlzwyrm that has adapted to cold climates, and all manner of timberwolves
>How the hell did these ponies get by without us?
>The men have been growing closer and closer. I'm hearing reports of both Sunfags and Lunfags living in the same barracks together without fistfights breaking out.
>Their obsession with sex has been toned down to a dull murmur thanks to the Empire's abundant supply of slutty mares that "love a stallion in uniform"
>Princess Cadence is impressed with our first run. She pulled me aside when I was on leave the other day and said that she had finally found a reason to relight the city's forges and reopen their mines
>She said that thanks to us, more crystal ponies can start pursuing their special talents after a thousand years of not picking up a pick or a hammer
>What a time to be alive
![$T2eC16ZHJIMFHI8cpF,4BSWfv4e8Kw~~60_57[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/DmTk2pn.jpg "$T2eC16ZHJIMFHI8cpF,4BSWfv4e8Kw~~60_57[1].jpg")
>>22029267
Spetsnaz in Equestria has potential
>>22029418
Tuesday, May 5th, Year 2 of the 6th Equestrian Age, Day 65 of Sunbutt's Harem
>It's been over a month since our arrival at the Empire. The Harem is starting to change for the better. My men are soldiers, and they're starting to act like it now.
>Just yesterday, I gave a man from the Ponkafag unit an order, and instead of saying "ayyy lmao" or "not your personal army", he said "Yes, sir."
>Morale is the highest I've seen it since we were transported to Equestria. The men have started paining their shiny new platemail armor to match their chosen waifu.
>Some of the /k/ommandos have been coordinating with the city's blacksmiths to create a supply of crude colonial-era firearms
>Some of the archers have been issued flintlock pistols or rifles in addition to their blows and crossbows.
>In addition to that, I don't know how in holy hell they did it, but some of the men from an Applefag herd managed to tame a fucking dire polar bear to pull a sled into battle.
>I've rearranged the squads a bit to equip this herd with some of those aforementioned riflemen
>They preceeded to name him Dakkabear
>>22029630
Petition to name writefag "General" when?
Capatcha: norme
>>22029630
>>22029682
Thursday, May 7th, Year 2 of the 6th Equestrian Age, Day 67 of Sunbutt's Harem
>Something is off
>My combat reports are becoming odder every day
>Right now, I have on my desk the written words of a soldier that swears on his life he saw the pine ents riding oversized timberwolves through one of the forests
>The beasts that we've been fighting have shown no sign of intelligence higher than attacking us on sight
>If that solider wasn't just drunk, or fucking with me for the fun of it, then this could be hard evidence that the beasts that threaten the Empire are becoming... organized.
>I hope he's a liar
>Armor
>Not Man enough to go straight up Berserker
Plebs, all of you
>>22029757
Snow niggers always talking about how great being naked is
>>22029772
>Implying a crazy naked man with a pointed stick coming to kill you isn't terrifying
>>22029732
Friday, May 8th, Year 2 of the 6th Equestrian Age, Day 68 of Sunbutt's Harem
>With the soldier in tow, I think he was part of one of the Sunfag herds, I took a ride on Dakkabear's sleigh and crew this morning to see the scene of the crime for myself.
>We ducked and weaved through a what seemed like an endless expanse of prickly pine trees and knee-high snow before the Sunfag stopped us.
>The snow around here gets blown around like sand in the dessert, so animal tracks don't stay there for long
>We didn't find much at first, just a few broken branches and some troll shit
>But then we hit it
>A fucking beaten path, twenty feet wide and littered with pine needles
>this couldn't have occurred naturally
>it had to be built, and we didn't build it
>We nearly shat ourselves GTFOing
>>22029812
>impying the crazy man isn't fucked if his enemy has archers
Thread needs more Vikings
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6pu5kfeapEA
>>22029997
>Implying they have more arrows than crazy men
>>22029630
>humanity taming godamb bears to pull sleids.
The end is near, taking bets now how long before humans kill all other sapient life on the planet
>>22030128
>kill all other sapient life on the planet
>not enslaving for our endless sexual pleasure
Die
>>22029932
Friday, May 8th, Year 2 of the 6th Equestrian Age, Day 68 of Sunbutt's Harem
>It was time
>This morning, I gathered the entire Harem for an announcement
>Fuck, I never was good at public speaking
>I told the men what we saw the other day, and what it meant. The monsters were working together, and they probably want to make a move on us
>If my suspicions were right, there was a organized force of supernatural beasts at the end of that road
>I told them it was a volunteer-only mission, because let's face it, we're just a bunch of paramilitary neckbeards killing animals
>When I asked who would go with me, I nearly cried like a bride on her wedding day
>Not a damn hand in that place wasn't raised
>Nine hundred-strong men, and they all agreed without another word
>I've left a skeleton crew of three herds to patrol the outside of the city. It was strictly defensive maneuvering from there on out, no going off and wrecking a stray pack of timberwolves
>Today we march for the road. Whatever lies at the end, we'll damn well be ready for it.
>>22030291
Be back in a few. Got some shit to take care of real quick before I keep on wrifagging
>>22030291
Wednesday, May 13th, Year 2 of the 6th Equestrian Age, Day 73 of Sunbutt's Harem
>"We're Anons forever, horsefuckers together
We're wizards, but so much mooo-oore
We will cum inside, our lyrics aren't that clever
We're Anons to the core!"
>We needed a marching song, and hey it's the only one that everyone here knew. It started out as apples to the core, but of course no one has had any mares since we left, so it turned into...that.
>We've been marching down the road a couple of days now. It eventually led us out of the forest and out into a Celestia-damned blizzard. Lucky for us trolls make nice fuzzy coats and Russian fur hats.
>Princess Pink loaned us some of her finest work ponies and several sleds worth of provisions, so we shouldn't starve out here. Keeping the water sled from freezing is a pain in the ass.
>So far, nothing ugly has shown it's face since we set our boots on the path. I don't know weather this is a blessing, or a mass of monsters was headed to the Crystal Empire while we dick around in the snow.
>Part of me wants to send a detachment back to the Empire to see if it was okay, and another part says that they'd die alone in the blizzard. Yet another part wants me to go home and sleep the rest of my life away. What to do, what to do.
>>22030732
Shit. Forgot my name.
>>22029630
>responding to orders with ayy lmao
hue
>>22023691
underated post
>>22023509
>tfw I've been documenting the collective Equestrian technologies and their tech is far from primitive
>>22023552
To be fair, there could be battlemages, but those would probably be the Fedora Division, or the unicorns.
>>22024054
>Gunpowder substitute
Bucko, it's charcoal powder, potassium nitrate, and sulphur to make black powder. All of these occur naturally. There is no need for a substitute. But right on for suspecting the ziggers to make it, Zecora being an alchemist and all.
>>22030732
I like this writefag. This is a good fucking writefag.
>>22028153
>grey knights
ma nigga
>>22030771
Continue...please ( ;-;)
>>22022142
Just because we all want to fuck horses does'nt mean we'd all get along.
>>22032200
But if said horses were in danger from vast amounts of enemies and darkness, Would you put aside your differences and rise with us to fight by our side and protect the things you as well as all of us, love?brother?
>>22032269
You have my sword, brotherAND my axe
Excerp from the journals of King Minos, third of his name, Lord of Labyrinthia and all of its holdings:
I had been been surprised when one of my generals wrote to me boasting to having captured a human during one of his many raids into Equestrian territory; almost excited even.
The only way a bull would see one of those demons was on the battlefield charging toward you with weapons raised high while he screamed death upon you and your brothers and now I had one in my procession to do with as I pleased?
Wanting to see the creature for myself, I decided to go down to where the general was stationed to see if his boasting held truth.
As luck would have it, the general was only a few days journey away from the capital; a horrid place that my forefathers had called The Rock.
Upon arriving my vanguard and I were greeted by the general, who immediately took several of my finest warriors and myself to the fort's dungeons to see the human
When I asked him if he had gotten any information out of the creature, useful or otherwise (Everything we knew about these creatures were from hearsay and rumor) I was told that they had received less than nothing.
The human stayed silent throughout the beatings and the torture that he had been put through, only opening his mouth to spit blood at my soldiers.
Impressed by the creatures fortitude (I knew this particular general of mine had a fondness for questioning captured soldiers and had excelled at it for many, many years) I had increased my pace, wanting to see this being myself.
>knights were deeply religious
>you're all atheist scum
>knights had morals
>none of you do
>knights followed a code of chivalry
>you never could
>knights were fit
>you aren't
enough of this
you shame the men that gave their lives for God
>>22032642
We'll manage
>All these plebs wanting to use historical bullshit armor
>Wanting to be hot, sweaty, aching, and still likely to die because of gaps in the armor.
>Not wanting to combine human engineering and pony magic to produce powered armor.
>Not striding into battle within ten feet of inch-thick composite plating.
>Not attracting the entire enemy army's attention by virtue of your sheer size compared to ponies.
>Not then laughing at their horror as javelins, arrows, and blasts of magic merely scorch armor meant to resist HEAT warheads.
>Not wading into the enemy line, firing blindly at masses of enemy troops and simply knocking aside those who are not hit.
>Not coming upon their leader, cowering and blubbering in disbelief.
>Not picking them up and one-handedly holding them aloft amid the battle, your magically-enhanced voice echoing across the battlefield to declare the conflict done.
>Not carrying them back to your lines despite their furious struggles, their screaming, ranting, and pleading.
>Not depositing them in a quivering lump at Celestia's hooves and saluting with a fist the size of her chest.
"I have done my duty, Princess."
>>22032642
White knight spotted! 10 O'Clock!
>>22032724
wow, what a fucking cowardly pussy
>i don't want a challenge from my enemy, then i'd lose!
>what? wearing real armor requires strength? screw that!
if you were any person worthy of even being compared to a knight, you'd wouldn't prey on enemies too weak to have a chance against you
>>22032585
There are many stories about these humans and their savageness in protecting the Equestrians. That they are stronger than a Manticore, faster than a Harpy, and do not fear death or pain in any form. I've even heard that they are demons spawned by the princesses themselves; demons of rage and bloodlust. And while I knew that none of these tales were true (tales that peasants told one another so that they could be fearful of the shadows) I had expected a human to be more than what it was.
The one that my general had captured was a stocky creature, no more than fifteen hands tall though thick in the arms and chest. With only a cloth to cover his manliness I was able to see that these creatures were, in fact, shockingly hairless
I would comment more of the creatures appearance if he had been more than a hairless, smaller, weaker version of one of my bulls.
The human had been chained to the wall with fine steel claspings, the size and length of which were for a far larger creature than the one that stood before me, naked and covered in his own blood.
I stood there with my soldiers, waiting for the human to curse, to shout, to plea, and was met with silence... until the human's eyes opened.
I cannot, even now, in the safety of mine own keep, write down how the creature looked at me.
Even in my old age I am still a powerful bull, and I must have stood head and shoulders over this creature, but I, and many of my soldiers, found themselves retreating from this monster's gaze.
>"And who might you be?" He had said, his voice like a knife cutting through the air.
One of my bulls explained who I was, and had explained his situation to him. He was a prisoner; a valuable one at that. If he continued to silence he would be tortured and executed, but if he loosened his tongue, told us what we wanted and needed for this blasted war, he would be free to go.
To my shock, I was met with laughter, thick and mocking.
>>22032867
>>22032867
>"Oh, the king of the bulls wishes this soldier of the sun to parlay and beg for his life?" He asked, staring at us as though we were children trying to bully an elder. "Begone, and take your threats with you; death nor torture hold any fear for me."
Being of great patience and virtue, I myself tried to reason with the human.
He was not a pony, nor were any of his fellows; this war was not his.
>"That is where you are wrong, king of the bulls," he had said, his eyes fierce.
>"These ponies you fight are not creatures of violence or war. They did not wish to fight or offend you and yours, did not wish to commit to open battle with you, but you wage war on them for land and wealth."
Something that sounded like a growl came out of the creatures mouth.
>"You come to enslave and conquer, to steal and take what is not yours, and my kin will not stand for that."
Now rather upset, I demanded to know why he would kill and die for these ponies.
I was answered with an unnerving smile.
>"Wouldn't you kill and die for the thing you love most in this world?"
That was the moment I decided to end this ill-fated campaign against the Equestrians.
I could see from this creatures eyes, a creature who had killed over fifty of my soldiers with a warhammer before they had managed to subdue him, that he did not fight for money, or wealth, or to test himself against another.
He fought to keep the ones (or the "thing" as he called it) safe and happy and free.
The term "love" comes to mind, but that is not a strong enough word for these creature's devotion. Very rarely does someone charge into a pike wall laughing because of love, or continue to fight whilst having been dealt more than a few killing blows, or face the cold and the rain and the battlefield for such an emotion.
>>22033096
I could see from this creatures eyes, with beatened and bloody and chained young male, that he would happily slaughter me and everyone in my kingdom, would burn and salt our earth, and commit any number of atrocities to keep the ponies safe. He had made their lives worth more than his, and he was more than happy to give up his in their defense... so long as he took some of ours...
And there is no fighting such monsters as that.
>>22032823
You're right. I wouldn't be a knight, applying some ancient and outdated code of honor to a situation that doesn't fit it.
I wouldn't be an archaic remnant of a time long passed, struggling to face down an enemy that is not going to play fair by any means.
I would be a soldier, aiming to most effectively dispose of any threatening force by the best means available.
If that means fighting on massively unequal terms, so be it - because I severely doubt anything I would face would ignore me on the grounds of some honor code.
It wouldn't be remotely fair, but I could be pretty certain that I would be getting shit done.
>>22033150
Then I guess you're not of knightly material.
>>22032823
Yeah, knights. How brave. Slaughtering untrained, under-equipped peasants while wearing full plate armour and riding a pure-bred horse, if they actually fought at all. Sorry, what were you saying about knights not preying on enemies too weak to stand a chance?
>i don't want a challenge from my enemy, then i'd lose!
>Implying you wouldn't take any advantage you could possibly have to win
>Implying entire military doctrines aren't build around getting every possible advantage over your enemy
>Implying Sun Tzu didn't write millennia ago about how you should do everything in your power to win, manipulate your enemy as much as possible and use literally every single trick at your disposal against them
>Implying the whole concept of a medieval knight as an honourable and just warrior wasn't created as a romanticised ideal for stories
Honourable. Effective (alive) soldier. Pick one.
Knights were just bullies with swords there to keep the serfs in line anyway.
page nine is no place for writefriend to die
bumpity bump
>>22032677
>Catarina armor
Fuck yes.
>>22024522
>viking swords
>not based longsword
>not swiss saber
>no artillery/cavalry sabre
>not any of the oakshott types
Literally pleb.
>zweihanders
>intimidating
DS pls, at least lrn2real life. No one even truly knows how they were used and they specialized
>dagger
>close quarters
Stop. Please.
>no mail
>using inferior armor
>paulrons
>no realizing pauldrons aren't even necessary protection
>thick shin boots
No
>faraam helmet
Leave
>>22024759
>implying
Scale is inferior to plate and mail
However hussars....well that's different
>>22022670
Obviously only the best armor.Would anyone care to be my "Biggs"?
>>22035192
There's like a whole thread of people able to fill the armor, take your pick
>>22026138
>gilded armor
Enjoy the extra weight and losing your fortune
>bidenhander
>not war rapier
>not longsword
Good choice, but still pleb
>>22035217
But can any of them wield a 20 pound wrecking ball on a stick?
>>22035254
Touche anon
>>22035192
If you'll be myDrake
>>22035254
>giant hunk of metal almost as big as the wielder
>20 pounds
is General Writefag the Fourth kill ;-;
>>22033150
>being a faggot
>being autistic
Knights were literally top tier in technology and the social ladder, we're applying this because for all nearly all cases, Equestria is mostly medieval/ancient with technological aspects flying all over the scale
>>22033942
>>22033946
>not knowing anything about knights
>Sun Tzu
>relevant
>>22035353
>Implying knights were NOT summoned up to enforce the collection of unfair taxes, kill innocent people, and burn down farmsteads in the name of their lords and kings.
>>22036081
>one bad egg in a dozen means all should be thrown away
>>22036081
>one
Topkek
>>22036212
>one
Topkek
>horsefuckers gather and discuss military technology and tactics of Equestria and write stuff about it
I have found a new favourite thread.
Also, do you think the Canterlot guards are armoured in bronze, or gilded steel?
>General Writefag the Fourth's story thus far
http://pastebin.com/MtSqVLQm
>>22036591
This question is relevant to my interests.
It depends on whether you see the Royal Guard as a small, primarily ceremonial group or an actual branch of a larger military organization.
>>22022142
Only one kind of armor I would take
>>22036834
The idea of a militarized equestria will never not be laughable to me.
>>22022142
Is this a Chivalry thread now?
Chivarly's chat is a real trip. It's like a slice of 4chan amputated itself and grew another body. In fact, I've seen blatant 4chan maymays.That's ok.equestriaaAAAAAAAAAAA
>>22022670
This one, to accommodate my warboner.
>>22037106
No, my Lord!
>>22036591
I think they are made of gilded steel or yellow brass.
Since they lack a decent muzzle and neck protection, i guess they're only ceremonial.
WATCH ME CRUSH THIS GUY
>>22038245
Careful kid, you'll poke your eye out.
>>22023600
>not knowing its deadspace
Play more video games faggot
General Writefag the Fourth return to us in good health ;-;
General Writefag IV of the 1st Horsefucker Auxiliary division, report!
I love armor and all, but it won't hold much ground against a real war machine...
>>22038782
This guy gives so little fucks, he gone into negative numbers.
>>22022142
WATCH THIS VIDEO HAHAHA SO AWESOEM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fz0WOmQ87bI
>All these sunfags posting their armor.
Fine by me. I'll just find me gravity hammer.
>"Im honestly not sure how to feel about these hu-manz Luna, I mean, they just appear out of nowhere and start worshiping us as well as many of our other little ponies, an-Luna?"
>Cut to Luna laughing straight up Skeletor levels of evil laughter as lunafag army is cheering around her like the hyenas cackling for Scar in the lion king
It was all k though, save for the constant duels and challenges to mortal kombat to prove who is the better husbando, kinda like the crusades except if everyone really wanted to fuck Jesus....so the crusades
>>22037239
the war-boner brigade is a tryed and true Zerg force, its kinda like the blitzkrieg except everyones super horny
>>22022142
Weird how prepared I would be for this exact situation.
>Have a full set of non-decorational plate armour
>trained with a hand and a half sword
>know which princess is the best one
Couldn't go wrong.
>>22042379
>mfw i own a bearded axe.
skirmish fighting when? someone gotta hit em in the rear and scout afterall.
>>22042129
Who the hell is that? He looks like pic related but I can't tell.
>>22042939
Let's just stop talking about it and go do it. I'll meat you at the thing in an hour.
>>22032585
>>22032867
>>22033096
>>22033133
this is parallel to my interests
>>22042952
Its the black knight from white knight chronicles, tis an OK rpg...but just ok
>>22044328
>meat
i dont like what your implying here...
Alright guys, got my armor on, we're good.
>>22023669
Ah, someone who's using their head right here.
>>22045672
Don't be scared, the guy's legit.
>>22045824
i think ill pass either way,meeting people in undislosed places is not my forte.
>>22023669
>not wearing a sallet
>All these knight armors
>Not wanting to be a mercenary warband of horsemen from Saddle Arabia
>Not wanting to call yourself something cheesy and cringy at the same timelike Anonlukes for mamlukes or Anonissari for janissari
>Not wanting to get hired by Celestia and Luna as an auxiliary force to the regular army and get an income from the royal coffers, the battlefield loot and the captive stallions we'd sell to the slavers to send them to forced labor, while we keep the mares for our own amusement
>Not wanting to yell "Ayylmao Akbar" before charging in and never tell anyone that we're in fact making fun of Earth's sandniggers
Or we could just dress in black-and-red outfits and call ourselves The Edgelords. Pick your poison.
>>22047085
why not the griffons? griffons could probably appreciate human technology and violence better then any other race.
>>22047085
Or you know...knight.
>>22047243
Alright, fuck it. You know what? We're gonna be an army of naked faggots. But not just naked, no. We'll paint our whole body (skin and hair) with our waifus' colours. We're gonna stitch horns and wings with some cheap wal-mart duct tape, preferably silver duct-tape and more preferably over the paint. We're gonna carry shields in the shape of the only thing that we praiseread: worshipthe most: the sunbutt. We'll place Bad Dragon's horsecocks at the end of our pikes, and cover our chest with a cuirass made out of steel scales and personal cumrags. Specifically, the cuirass will only cover our torso: we don't want to hide our actual meat-swords, we need them strong and steady, ready to thrust into the hardest of armors and penetrate inside our foe's flesh, with firm pelvic movements that would deflower someone else's daughter from miles away. We will wear warpaints too. Our left shoulder will read
>rape,
while on our forehead we will paint the sacred winking mare pussy that guides us through the darkness of our masturbation sessions. And as a last defense technique, we will cover ourselves in lube, so that we can be as soggy and slippery to our foes as your hands when you talk to a real girl.
And, you may be asking yourself: what will our name be? Well, shut the fuck up for a second before I chain you to the wall and pull your testicle hair off one by one and I may tell you.
We shall be the strongest of Equestria! We shall be the proudestscumof humanity! And everyone will fear and cringe at the very whispering of our name!
They will learn to fear thePlot Twisters!
>>22047508
well id certainly run like fuck from an army like that,namely to make sure they didn't force me to join their ranks.
>>22047085
and we follow prophet Moothammed
>>22047508
On a scale of one to nope, I would have to give that a "Fuck that shit".
>>22047508
This is what I see...
The prophecy is slowly coming together...
All this talk of armor..what of our transports? I vote viking long-ships
>>22048329
i mean i do to but...why are they carrying them into a fortification charge?
>>22047085
>yell "Ayylmao Akbar" before charging in
That cracked me up.
>>22048431
the fort is actually on a lake, they're running at the lake so they can get into the fort from behind it unopposed
>there are no walls on the lakeside
>>22048502
ah,neat.
smart of the vikings,dumb of the others to not have walls EVERYWHERE.
![182843_1296566429566_1692526840_567157_3955196_n[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/NMEu186.jpg "182843_1296566429566_1692526840_567157_3955196_n[1].jpg")
Praise the S U N
>>22047508
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dZabFrFLMc
>>22037106
kek, used to play that game a fuck ton, but then autists became way too common
>>22036591
I'd imagine gilded ceremonial armor
>>22047085
>sandnigger
Crusade when?>ayylmao akbar>maximum kek
>You will never stand amongst hundreds of horsefuckers clad in various armors and weaponry
>You will never fight an unknown enemy
>You will never get that pure rush of adrenaline right before the two hoards of being clash to start a bloody drawn out fight
>You will never caress the cold dead bodies of the friends you made
>You will never fight for Celestia, nor Luna
>You will never aid in any cause be it just or defiled
>You will never come back to your waifu to tell her of the wondrous sights you have seen whilst venturing in the name of anyone
>You will never have friends in the Royal Guard
>You will never receive any accolades for your faith, bravery, or act
>You will never come back from the fields of fighting bruised, battered, and tired
>You will never plunge your sword / mace / spear / arrows / halberds into the enemies of harmony
>You will never pledge your allegiance to any Sun or Moon deity
>You will never know the joys of victories nor the heart-breaks of defeats
>You will never serve along side Celestias best knights and mages
>You will never spill blood nor tear on Equestria's pure and magical soil
>You will never see the sun and moon rise and fall at the whim of Celestia and Luna
>you be anon.
>well,one anon anyways.
>there seems to be a lot of anons lately.
>you,currently,are sailing across the great,vast skies of equestrias borders on the raiding airship known as the “GriffonFucker”.
>you did not pick the name,nor do you find it appropriate,given your job of raiding pony settlements.
>some say you and the crew of the GriffonFucker were on the griffon kingdoms payroll,a baseless claim you only supported on payday.
>you personally had only gone over to the griffons in hopes of siding with a race more...understanding,of the humans need for violence.
>the rest of this lot were just griffonfuckers.
>fucking gilda wasn't much of a fighter it turns out.
>now,those humans recruited into equestrias armed forces? They were fighters.
>>22051203
>luckily,you had avoided direct combat,the griffon kingdoms who you only worked for on payday had a bit better of a war industry,so they had been able to equip you and your fellow raiders with lower tech firearms and even a few cannons much sooner then the horsefuckers even had the plans drawn down.
>you had to admit,they were more...noble,then you were.
>even the gildafags at least followed the others examples,running off to pester their waifu.
>you,on the other hand,had taken the more edgy,instead of autistic route,going where you thought you could best let out all the pent up human aggression onto a world a bit less expecting of it.
>the griffons,who you only work for once a week,were all to happy to accept you and the griffonfuckers into their ranks,unofficially and in exchange for quite a bit of technological “secrets”.
>no matter,while you were no captain,you currently had a life you quite enjoyed,sailing around the sky,firing cannons at unsuspecting pony villages,then dropping down to take everything they owned of value.
>thank fuck those places never had large garrisons,especially recently,with equestrias military finally putting out their own firearms.
>you were quite certain more and better /k/unts had decided to defend equestria instead of join your merry band,and you didn't exactly take up this job with a fair fight in mind.
>you turn as a horn blares,three short bursts.
>you smile,the familiar sound of a spotted target ringing in your ears.
>looks like you had a some raiding to do.
Best Armor
Out the way heathens!
>>22051123
Not with that attitude you silly cunt.
>>22051260
>cleave at shoulder
>blade gets caught
>upward thrust towards back or guts
>blade gets caught, most likely penetrates
>upward swing into armpit
>arm is gone
>stab at groin
>you're castrated
>stab at ass
>asshole enlarges by size of blade
but its le magicul fantasy armer u cant kill it XDDD
>>22051787
>le magicul fantasy armer
In le magicul fantasy horsey land? Whhaaaattt who would have guessed???
>Capta : Epone
so hows this work? we get telefragged to Equestria together and along the way we decide what armor and weapons we want? Do our bodies get morphed into peak physical prowess? If so pic related
>>22052130
i think most anons have settled for "realistic" boundaries on technology. however in a magical world full of magical ponies said boundaries get blurred and stomped into dust.
id also assume you gotta train like normal. then again,magic might help with that.
>>22050656
>>22050681
>>22051732
>Lordgood's art
Mah sandniggas
>"I just don't get it Despit, one moment were flying out south and the next we get orders to drop everything and retreat back home?"
>"I'm not sure either Thorn some of the other legion captains have been saying its because of those crazy human warbands that have been roving around"
>"They'd pull us back for that? Are they really that bad?"
>"Apparently so, the entire 3rd battalion got shot down with canonfire...and then eaten"
>"By the friggin trade winds! The fuck is up with those things?"
>"Hard to say, they just showed up one day and pledged themselves to the ponies without missin a beat"
>"The hell would they be serving the ponies for?"
>"Your not gonna believe me, but apparently they just really really really like ponies"
>>22023658
eww what is that shit?
>>22022670
>muh armour
I can only imagine what a sight we would be charging down a hill, all in various degrees of nakedness.
Though the Faraam armour gives me a raging boner.
