>"Anon, I...don't know if I should ask this of you, but I fear that desperate times call for desperate measures. The Griffons, the Minotaurs, and the Diamond Dogs have already conquered our allies in Saddle Arabia. The Crystal Empire is facing internal turmoil. Equestria stands alone. Humans are well versed in warfare. We need a weapon to change the outcome of this terrible war. Please, will you help us?"
>>21853357
Sure why not
>>21853357
Okay, but in return I want to take you as my wife.Then I will take you again, but in a far more literal sense.
Finally I get to hit something I mean to cut. My years of HEMA may pay off after all.
>>21853357
A weapon, you say?
>An evil smirk forms across the Anon's face
Yes... I have just the weapon you are in need of, Princess... And I can assure you, there is no finer, none more effective in all the realms...
>>21853357
Sure, I'll give you an Italian general. What could go wrong?Napoleon wasn't Italian dammit.
>>21853414
Im not a bombfag, but is that shit going to leave radiation?
>>21853357
I can promise you a victory so decisive and so glorious it would cement your unchallenged rule for a thousand years more. All I need in return is some fancy military title that puts General to shame and, of course, your hoof in marriage.
>>21853468
Fat Man was the third nuclear weapon ever built, and it was dropped on Nagasaki. So yes, it will.
>>21853357
>>21853414
>Celestia unlocking the untold potential of the atom with the help of an anon
Please continue, I like where this is going
Better yet, writefags?
>>21853357
Celestia, let me tell you of mankinds greatest saint...
>>21853357
>Implying strong female warrior types getting raped isn't my fetish.
>Implying I wouldn't pay to see you take the barb, the horn, and the knot.
Have fun.
>>21853383
>>21853469
>"Dear sister, are you sure you want to go through with this? You look as nervous as I've ever seen you."
>Celestia takes a deep breath to steady herself as she looks at her reflection in the mirror.
"I have to, Luna. Anonymous is a very powerful and influential individual with a levy of over eighty-thousand soldiers at his command. A political marriage is the most reliable way to ensure his support, and his armies could prove vital in winning this war."
>Luna sighed.
>"But do you love him?"
"I... He has proved a great friend over the last few years."
>"You didn't answer my question. Tia."
>Celestia looked down at her sister.
"We cannot afford not to have him on our side, and for that... I will just have to learn to love him."
Celestia obligated to enter ito a sexual relationship with Anon? Unf.
>>21853624
Actually I like this idea. I may write an actual story about this one day.
>>21853635
Doooo iiiitttttt
>>21853624
>"I will just have to learn to love him."
This pleases me.
>>21853414
One does not simply assemble a nuclear weapon with layman knowledge. Good luck refining uranium, running it in a lightwater reactor to produce plutonium, refining spent fuel rods into a critical mass of plutonium, and developing the precision explosives necessary to force them together.
If you have the high explosives to build a nuclear bomb, then you could be building regular bombs. Or cannons, guns, and rockets.
>>21853528
Closer. But where are you gonna get gunpowder?
I'm thinking unless they have fireworks, the best we can do is longbow (assuming anypony can pull one), crossbow, trebuchet.
>>21853624
>Tia
Ifucking hatethis nickname.
>>21853641
Just imagine their first time together as Celestia climbs onto the bed, knowing that she has to fulfil the physical side of her obligations in order to keep Anon's support, but nervous as she has no idea if he'll be gentle and caring or rough and take her like an animal with no regard for her own comfort and pleasure.Of course it'll end in true love because I like a happy ending.
>>21853645
>Implying trixie didn't have fireworks
>>21853645
Why you gotta ruin my fun, anon?
Magic could take care of a lot of that, I'd just tell them how to focus it.
Besides, it's not so much about the practicality as it is the intimidation factor.
>>21853645
>Implying they don't have the concept of a "bullet." (See "Find a Pet" lyrics)
>Implying they don't have cannons and tanks for recreational use (via Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich)
>Implying they couldn't easily build guns with the resources and materials they have.
>>21853624
Forced marriage Celestia and Anon when?
>>21853668
How about Sunny Buns?
>>21853693
I'll start once I've had some sleep and food. If this thread dies then I'll post a new one titled "Celestia's political marriage" or something when I have some good amount written.
>>21853645
>Implying that Nugget clips aren't made from the condensed blood of fallen comrades and vodka.
>>21853682
>black powder
fucking savages
>>21853695
I can't imagine Luna using that one.
But I guess Anon is an entirely different story.
>>21853357
All wars have an end Celestia. That's why their started in the first place. You get more than one ruler with a small penis in one room together and soon they start measuring each other up, then you get to the one with the smallest dick and he doesn't want to show. By process of elimination he is ridiculed as having the smallest penis in the room, and though he doesn't want to admit it he knows its true.
And you know what he does? He leaves the room. He refuses to acknowledge the insightful wisdom of others simply because he is insecure about his own self. Then he goes home and spreads lies and slander about the others. He stages a few mock attacks on his own soil and shifts the blame to the others. Then he raises an army on a defunct speech you could construct on a speak-n-say.
And so he marches. He marches and he justifies his genocide as glory for his people thinking falsely this will convince the others once and for all that he doesn't have a small penis. But you know what happens next? Of course you do. Soon the war turns against him and starts encroaching on his territory. His home town, his childhood home is destroyed and he is left with no past, barely any present, and little if any future.
He soon realizes that to win this war, he needs the help of a madman, or become one himself. He approaches the worst of the mentally ill and calls him friend. He asks his advice because, well he's obviously so well behaved he must know something about restraint, right?
*sniggering laughter*
Only when it counts Celestia. All this man wants to do is watch the ruler fall and his world burn. That's all any of us want isn't it?
When was the last time this ruler felt truly happy? Was it before the war he started? Was it after? The truth is he was never happy, and he never will be. Because he has destroyed everything he ever held dear, because he lusted for what he couldn't have. Why have the fates conspired against him? They haven't.
You just have a small penis.
>>21853823
I read that in the voice of the Heath Ledger Joker.
Fucking creepy.
>>21854000
thank you
>>21853724
I decided to write a little now. Keep in mind I'm tired so it's probably full of mistakes. I'm going to bed right after posting this.
The way I imagine this is that Anon is King of a nation composing of many species, most notably humans that are the descendants of those that came to Equestria from Earth long ago.
>"I do not ask this of you lightly, Anonymous. I assure you I understand that while joining in our war may seem-"
>You hold up a hand, effectively silencing the princess as you take a sip of the wine she'd kindly provided.
"I understand well enough what you're asking and the reasons for doing so, princess. My holdings and those of my vassals include many of the major trading ports along the Northern coast, and in addition we control over sixty percent of all gold and silver production throughout the continent. Certainly our support would prove of great benefit to Equestria and its allies. "
>From across the table you see a brief look of hope flicker in Celestia's eyes.
>"Then does that mean that you'll accept our call for aid?"
>For a long while you say nothing, preferring to gaze thoughtfully at your host while you weigh up the choices in your mind.
"I'm afraid that no, it does not."
>Though it's hard to see under the calm, diplomatic and near indecipherable exterior that she'd honed over centuries of practice, you spot the faint glimmer of hope Celestia once possessed being replaced by one of dread.
>"Please, lord Anonymous, I urge you to reconsider."
>She's desperate now and you know it.
"I cannot in good conscience draw my people into a war that's not our own. This alliance of your enemies has no quarrel with us or our lands and would find it all but impossible to assail our holdings North of the Whitefang mountains. You would ask me to call upon my lords to raise armies and sally forth from the safety of our lands in order to aid in your battles, knowing they would stand to lose much yet gain nothing but your thanks?"
>>21854344
>"Equestria has always been a great trading partner with your people, has it not? If we fall then-"
>Once more you speak, interrupting the princess.
"If you fall then we would trade with those that took your place. I understand your reasoning, Celestia, and if it were up to me alone I would not hesitate to rally to your call. Unfortunately that is not the case however, and because we are not officially allies I would have no way to justify such a war to my vassals. A king that disregards the opinions of his lords doesn't remain a king for long."
>"Please, we have nowhere else to turn."
>Truly you pitied the princess before you.
>To have once such as her reduced to little more than begging for assistance made you feel ashamed on her behalf.
"Give me something... Some way of convincing my lords that this war would be of benefit to our people. Do that and I can offer you all the help that's within my power to give."
>Across from you Celestia looks down in thought, no doubt scouring every corner of her mind for something that would sway you.
>After a long silence the princess finally looks up at you and speaks, her voice one of resignation.
>"I can offer but one thing."
>You take another sip of wine.
"Oh?"
>You see her take a deep breath to steady her nerves.
>"I can offer you myself."
>>21854354
>That was... unexpected.
"You?"
>Clearly she can see the look of curiosity and confusion on your face.
>"In exchange for your aid I offer myself in marriage."
>You're quite frankly speechless.
>Never would you have guessed that she'd be so willing to resort to such means to secure an alliance.
>There was no doubt it was an interesting proposition.
>Though you knew it was desperation that drove her to it, you can't deny that it was a tempting offer.
>Celestia was renowned far and wide for her beauty and, though you were of an entirely different species, the attraction was there for sure.
>In addition, your people had long since discovered that humans could produce viable offspring with a great many races.
>The sheer number of half-ponies and half-griffons in your land bore witness to this fact.
>So not only would you gain an ironclad alliance with one of the world's strongest kingdoms, but you'd also be able to conceive an heir that would be in line to inherit both The North and Equestria.
>Though that heir would be a half-breed.
>Your lineage had consisted of nothing but pure-blooded humans for many hundreds of years, and some of your more traditionally minded lords may not take kindly to you diluting the royal bloodline with one of a 'lesser' race.
>You mull the notion over in your mind for several long moments, trying to foresee every possible outcome and consequence for the decision.
>You stand to gain much but it comes at a risk.
>After a tense minute or so of silence you finally give your answer.
"I accept."
>>21853823
>implying war is caused by lol small ween-peen, nothing more
>implying that penis size correlates to being right or just in any fashion
>implying you can win a war without first winning over the hearts and minds of people first
>implying all war is genocide
>implying any good commander would have shit fall apart so hard he needs the help of a Jokeresque saboteur
>implying conquering your enemies isn't the greatest joy a man can experience
>roleplaying
Jesus Christ.
>>21854359
Many years later.
"Mommy, how did you and daddy first meet?"
>"Oh, well...
>>21853357
How many Tigers do you need mein fräulein?
>>21854439
I think she'd prefer a tank that didn't break down ever few miles and that was in less need on constant maintenance.
>>21854450
How's this?
>>21854450
Of course, have this instead.
>>21853357
Here
>>21854450
>I think she'd prefer a tank that didn't break down ever few miles and that was in less need on constant maintenance.
Eww, I butchered that sentence
>>21854504
>>21854509
Both better.
>>21853823
Spend much time thinking about small penises, m8?
>>21854906
where is this from
>>21853645
ok i agree with you on the bomb but im sure they could build a firearm not an advanced one sure but a basic one
plus anons a genius
>>21853357
I could, but it would be hard to convince the American government otherwise unless you give us mineral rights to areas X Y and Z surrounding Appleloosa on this map here and the capabilities of shipping our cargo back home.
>muh oil
>muh war economy
>>21854359
Please continue good sir
>>21853624
i like this,including the idea that anon could use his military and technological knowledge to raise himself an army in equestria,might even be a mixed race army,going around,proving his worth,taking whoever will give him loyalty. id ask "but why would he do this?" but then i think "because hes human of course."
>>21855592
Nice trips
>>21855610
That's not how it works.
>>21855655
Godammit im stupid
>>21853645
All gunpowder is, is charcoal, sulfer, and potassium nitrate (saltpeter) three common ingredients for alchemy
>>21854344
So the way I seeing this is that Anon's kingdom has a ruling class of humans and that, while other races also serve him, they're considered by most to be of lesser birth and standing than their human counter parts. Humans form the backbone of the military and the knightly classes with satyrs coming in below them in the hierarchy, followed after by the other races who act mostly as serfs, servants and levy troops. While crossbreeding with non-humans is widespread, it's considered distasteful for humans of noble birth to "dilute" their bloodlines.
I think it'd add an interesting component to the story if Celestia knew about the slightly xenophobic attitudes her husband-to-be's people beforehand.
Thoughts? Does it sound too edge or whatever?
>>21853645
>One does not simply assemble a nuclear weapon with layman knowledge
You wanna fuckin go m8?
>>21853357
Anything for you, my Princess.
>>21853357
"You need Janitor Anon, I hear that just a mention of his name can turn an army around."
>>21855610
That's not trips fucking retard, holy shit you're a newfag
>>21853357
>ctrl+f 'jews'
>0 results.
Really? I was sure at least 5 people we're going to blame the Jews for this
>>21853414
>implying anon knows enough about nuclear physics to say anything more than "Well you have to get this uranium stuff and somehow enrich it and there's something called heavy water that factors in somewhere and then you hit the pieces together really hard and it explodes."
>>21855874
>2015
>Not knowing nuclear physics.
>Do you even split anon?
What if I want to marry Luna instead?
>>21854344
>>21854354
>>21854359
i have one question, if they are descendants from humans from earth, what tech do they have?, why do they have that hierarchy, and not something more "modern"?
>>21854359pls, continue
>>21856063
I'm thinking medieval tech and a feudal hierarchy. As for why they still use such an archaic form of governance, well I was thinking that the original humans came from Earth back when such a system was the norm, and that they wished to maintain the status quo with themselves at the top of their society with the "lesser" races being subservient to them to an extent.I'm literally just making this up as I go.
>>21856148
Continue, please.
>>21853357
We'll end their memes together, Princess.
>>21853357
oh boy!
>>21853357
"Please, I beg of you, find another way. My kind cannot be trusted. They only seek reward for themselves. allowing them into this world will only doom it."
>>21856253
Get the fuck outta here.
>>21854509
>>21854517
>>21856204
>Tanks and Artillery
>Of any use versus an opponent who can fly or burrow through the earth respectively
Griffons and Diamond dog armies alone would fuck over most of the pony lands, with human help or not.
Nevermind them also being allies + Fucking Minotaurs. Only weakness they have is that none of their races have been seen to use magic, and so presumably they cannot.
Anon's only hope of survival is to give Celestia the finger and defect.
Hopefully the Dog and Minotaur leaders could be convinced not to simply kill him on sight due to him standing on two legs, having hands / fingers and looking vaguely like they do.
>>21856056
Good question. Maybe a Luna version will be written later on?
>>21856407
bah, were humans,we can easily over power and kill them,especially if were allowed to forge modern technology.
i will say it is a hard battle to win.
>griffons from the sky
>Minotaur from the ground
>diamond dogs from below
the diamond dogs are the real problem here. we can always come up with a way to take out things in the vast,open sky,and on the ground we've got no problems,but even WITH modern technology we really have no experience dealing with an enemy like the diamond dogs.
dealing with them honestly will decide victory or defeat.
>>21856407
...Diamond dog in your pic has a sharp rock on a stick...That won't do much.
>>21856486
>the diamond dogs are the real problem here.
- Flooding
- Flamethrowers
- Mines
- "mustard" gas
And that's just old ass shit.
>>21856511
Perhaps, but if a pony is about waist-height to a human, then the average Rover / Guard sized dog is about as tall as a human, if not more so.
If they can burrow through rock presumably they could tunnel within close range of any human warmachine and destroy it without needing weapons
We can also assume they are aggressive as any dog can be, strong, and resist shit like arrows through toughened hide, and the armor they wear.
They're pretty much Orcs that can tunnel. Fighting them would be like some Gears of War shit.
>>21856575
hmm,true.
well problem solved(even without poofing in modern shit).
now we just have to make sure we have the numbers to at least not get stomped in an ocean of flesh.
doesn't matter how much technology,traps,and war machines you can pop out if the enemy outnumbers you 200:1. unless we bring nukes into this but then we wouldn't need anything else anyways.
i personally like the idea that everything has to be built from scratch,no magic poofing in of human technology. id say with magic aid,we would be lucky to reach the technology of WWI,if even that. although plenty of things before gunpowder was even invented to turn the war in equestrias favor.
>>21856486
simple.
Torch out the holes they build.
>>21856575
>>21856639
Ponies/humans equiped with Mustard gas / grenades / possibly flamethrowers could deal with Diamond Dog tunnelers as they attack i suppose.
The problem is not removing existing tunnels from use, but dealing with the ambush potential as suddenly a small pack, or perhaps a huge army of dogs shows up behind your force.
Whilst also watching the skies and the ground for everything else. Each race can be dealt with on it's own, but it's the alliance of the three that puts the serious pressure on.
>>21856625
They have knowledge of canons iirc. Just hop-that up and load it with chain and grape. Guaranteed to break any mass charge.
Then there's the trenches.
With gas.
Barb and razor wire.
Mines.
Muddy/flooded fields.
Cross fire arc flamethrowers if you don't like Maxim or Gatling guns.
That'll be the basic outer perimeter.
>>21856688
Tunneling and mining are very dangerous activities. Doubly so when conducting military operations like sapping.
Ever hear of mines blowing up, caving in, suddenly flooded? That's just nature and not someone who actually knows you're down there and trying to dig through. Just pumping the ground with sewage and anaerobic bacteria can lead to dangerous methane build-up in tunnels.
>>21856688
The Alliance of the three lets them fight on pretty much any terrain, and cover each others weaknesses.
That said, no one has mentioned the ponies ability to control the fucking weather and the elements themselves.
Unless the Griffons alone could destroy or take Cloudsdale that would be a problem over long campaigns
I'm liking this idea. I'll get on a story for later.
"You made a wise decision coming to me."
>She smiles and opens her mouth, likely to thank you, but you cut her off.
"While we do hold a most favorable position, as well as fresh supplies and manpower to bolster your own, we just simply can't do this."
>"What do you mean?"
"You want me to march my men into a battle they have no involvement in? One where they'd be outnumbered five to one, against forces they've only heard about in mythology? It's madness, and I can't do that to my people."
>She leans to you, eyes pleading. "I beg you to reconsider."
"I cannot. Humans are a very tricky thing, Celestia. As it stands, this would be a causeless fight. We would be slaughtered out there. A human needs a purpose to go on, understand? A king's word only does so much for his troops, and I will not be the one to send them to their deaths."
>Just then, a pony mailman enters into the room.
>"Not now," Celestia sighs and pulls away from you.
>"Princess, we just got word the Loosatainteyah was attacked by the griffons. Only 761 ponies survived of the 1831 ponies and 128 humans."
>A sense of dread washes over you. You swallow hard and sit up.
"Well Princes..." she wears her same diplomatic mask, designed to hide her true feelings, but for a second you swear you could see a glimmer of happiness in those huge eyes of hers. "You've got your cause. Expect reinforcements within a week."
>>21854359
>tfw Anon is Ned Stark
>>21856486
Conceivably, you can fight WWII with WWI Technology. The Thompson SMG was available by that time, if we go by late WWI standards. Not only that, but the French 75MM could provide decent artillery support. And the British had a plane that could be used for paratrooper drops. The problem was with the Generals. They were still fighting the last war, and thinking in terms of Napoleonic warfare.
>>21853357
Well princess, I can't say I can help you here, but these Dwarves seem to have a solution to your problem.
>"FUCKEN YEAH!!"
>>21857817
Oh god please no not them.
>>21853645
>But where are you gonna get gunpowder?
>He doesn't know how to make his own gunpowder
>>21853468
A better question would be, does it matter?
Bump.
>>21855770
Depends, really. Do you want Anon's kingdom to be composed of Modern humans, or modern pricks? I'd like to have a little faith that we aren't that dickish, nowadays. And if the kingdom isn't considered "Modern," then go for it.
As for me, let me writefag a little based off of >>21854359
From the moment Celestia secured the alliance with the North Kingdom, we were doomed. We had not yet realized this, until it was far too late. We scoffed at the idea that the humans could be of any use to Celestia in this late hour. They had no claws, no magic, no great strength. They could not fly or dig great distances on their own. Our might, combined with our formations, made our warriors unstoppable. The diamond dogs were hardy, and could burrow quicker than they could run. And the griffon air battalions were bloodthirsty, and none could escape their vision. Together, our alliance was a force to be reckoned with, a juggernaut with no equal. We saw her marriage to their king only as a futile attempt by Celestia to prolong the inevitable. That was our first mistake. Underestimating the humans.
The North Kingdom had not warred with any great force since it's inception. No one knew what they were truly capable of. There were rumors that, back on their world, they were masters of warfare. Our own pride chalked it up to silly propaganda, preying on superstition of an unknown race. We were on the verge of taking their capitol, when we first encountered the human soldiers. There was a forest, the Everfree. Our army had decided to take a shortcut through the forest, as it had been too large to merely go around in order to get to the town just outside of the capitol, Ponyville. We began our march boldly, going through that dreaded forest. Since the forest was so unnatural, we believed that none could survive within it, save for the mindless beasts that hunted each other in its depths. But the humans didn't just survive there. They thrived in the Everfree.
>>21858584
Damn post limit.
As we marched, the sound of thunder came at us in rapid succession, and immediately, our numbers began to fall. I looked, and saw silhouettes of humans, aiming at us with what the dogs called "thundersticks." Perhaps the humans have another name. Immediately, I began to rally the troops, but by the time we got into formation, the humans were gone. That's when there was more of that awful sound, striking from behind us. In our pride and arrogance, we had unwittingly stumbled into the human's trap. We could smell them, but the forest made it difficult. The dogs could not burrow, the roots of the trees grew too deep. The griffons could not strike, for the dense foliage masked the human's positions. And we minotaurs could not form ranks, there were too many trees in our path. To say we fought hard would be a lie. We were slaughtered. Our enemy struck hard and fast, and never gave us the chance to retaliate. As griffons fell from the skies, I sounded for the retreat.
We had lost a tenth of our forces in the forest, I later learned. But had I not ran, I believe that number would have been greater. Some of us learned our lesson the hard way, to never underestimate the humans. Others who were more arrogant believed this to be a stroke of luck against us. Regardless, our first mistake was made. And we soon found that we would make many more, before war's end.
- General Longhorn, Fifth Minotaur Army of invasion.
>>21858596
More.
>>21858596
Reminds me of this
>>21858716
That's because it is that, just a remake.
>>21858596
BE ORIGINAL, FAGGOT.
>>21858716
Honestly, I've never seen that before.
>>21858881
>Originality
>21st century
>Not realizing that every episode of MLP is just a rehash of older tales
>kek
My weapon is Fear princess. All prisoners of war shall be impaled around our borders.
“I’m flattered really. Tell me, Celestia. What is so urgent you set aside this war of yours to make time for a little ole’ human like me?”
>The princess removes her helmet, hovering over some wine and glasses for the two of you.
>”It is with a heavy heart that I’ve called you here, King Anonymous.”
“Oh please, you’re with friends. Anonymous is fine,” you say, taking a glass as she finishes pouring.
>She smiles a diplomatic lie and sits.
>The two of you are silent for a time, simply looking about the room or out the window overlooking the castle-like city of Canterlot.
>”I’m sure you know of our current situation.” She finally says as you take another sip of the crimson wine.
>If there’s one thing Equestrians were good at, it was making this.
>That, and jumping to “friendship” to solve all their problems.
“I know you’re busy fighting on three fronts.”
>She sighs heavily and sets down her glass.
>"Anon, I...don't know if I should ask this of you, but I fear that desperate times call for desperate measures.” She peaks your interest. “The Griffons, the Minotaurs, and the Diamond Dogs have already conquered our allies in Saddle Arabia.”
>You already knew this much. It was quite annoying since now you can’t get any salt out of them.
>“The Crystal Empire is facing internal turmoil. Equestria stands alone.” She pauses, preparing herself for whatever she’s about to say. “Humans are well versed in warfare. We need a weapon to change the outcome of this terrible war. Please, will you help us?"
>Oh boy.
>Did you hear that right?
>You smile and stifle a laugh. She deflates at your response, or lack thereof.
“You must be kidding me. That’s why you called me here? To ask for help in some war?”
>”This is not any simple war, Anonymous. My people, their culture, their freedoms, their very way of life is at risk here.”
“As is in any war.”
>You set your glass down and lean forward. “As it was seventy years ago.”
>>21858984
care to continue?
>>21858984
>She frowns.
“Oh, did you think we’d so easily forget about your little crusade? Do you have any idea how many people, how many human lives were lost because of you?”
>”I know full well the results of my actions. I’ve thought and rethought every day since then about what I did, and I am truly sorry for what we did to your people.”
“Sorry doesn’t cut it, Princess. We were lost. We were thrown down into these lands without any warning, and what is the first thing you do? You send a battalion to wipe us out because of our ‘lack of friendship’.”
>You slam your glass down on the table, splashing out a small bit of wine.
“My father wasted the best years of his life fighting a senseless war because of your lack of foresight!”
>Her ears fold back as she lowers her head.
“We lost thousands to your damned ponies. Top of the line technology versus our borderline *sticks*!”
>”And yet you won regardless.”
“It was no easy feat.”
>”Now you sit upon the throne of a race known throughout the land for their military prowess. You have a foothold in the region’s largest mines and ports, plenty of land to grow and prosper, and a reputation that will keep you safe for generations.”
“And we owe that to you? Ha! All of that we earned. We paved it with the bodies of our friends and families. People that wouldn’t have been lost had it not been for you. Now you come to me asking for help? No, Celestia. It’s time you reap what you’ve sewn.”
>”You would become the very thing you hate simply to get back at me? There are innocent lives at stake, Anonymous. I urge you to reconsider.”
>She stands and raises her head again, high enough that she ends up looking down on you.
I have a big weapon for you, princess...
It's about time you asked for help, I see you've finally come to accept that the human race is far more superior in terms of weaponry. Maybe now Mr.Tibbets over here will stop dropping thermonuclear weaponry on all of Equestria's capitals.
>>21859041
>”Anonymous, I stand before you, begging for help in a war I cannot win on my own. Millions of ponies are on the line. Our morale is low, our soldiers are tired, and we’ve exhausted the supplies we once had.”
>Her eyes shine in the light. They’re wet, you think, and you can see some red forming in the corners.
>”Our allies are either defeated or unable to help. No other nation will offer their support. You, the humans, you are our only hope. The fate of millions rests in your hands. Please, do right by them. Don’t make the mistake I did all those years ago.”
>She stares at you, unmoving save for that majestic mane still flowing in the imaginary wind.
>She frowns.
“Oh, did you think we’d so easily forget about your little crusade? Do you have any idea how many people, how many human lives were lost because of you?”
>”I know full well the results of my actions. I’ve thought and rethought every day since then about what I did, and I am truly sorry for what we did to your people.”
“Sorry doesn’t cut it, Princess. We were lost. We were thrown down into these lands without any warning, and what is the first thing you do? You send a battalion to wipe us out because of our ‘lack of friendship’.”
>You slam your glass down on the table, splashing out a small bit of wine.
“My father wasted the best years of his life fighting a senseless war because of your lack of foresight!”
>Her ears fold back as she lowers her head.
“We lost thousands to your damned ponies. Top of the line technology versus our borderline *sticks*!”
>”And yet you won regardless.”
“It was no easy feat.”
>”Now you sit upon the throne of a race known throughout the land for their military prowess. You have a foothold in the region’s largest mines and ports, plenty of land to grow and prosper, and a reputation that will keep you safe for generations.”
>>21859057
“And we owe that to you? Ha! All of that we earned. We paved it with the bodies of our friends and families. People that wouldn’t have been lost had it not been for you. Now you come to me asking for help? No, Celestia. It’s time you reap what you’ve sewn.”
>”You would become the very thing you hate simply to get back at me? There are innocent lives at stake, Anonymous. I urge you to reconsider.”
>She stands and raises her head again, high enough that she ends up looking down on you.
>”Anonymous, I stand before you, begging for help in a war I cannot win on my own. Millions of ponies are on the line. Our morale is low, our soldiers are tired, and we’ve exhausted the supplies we once had.”
>Her eyes shine in the light. They’re wet, you think, and you can see some red forming in the corners.
>”Our allies are either defeated or unable to help. No other nation will offer their support. You, the humans, you are our only hope. The fate of millions rests in your hands. Please, do right by them. Don’t make the mistake I did all those years ago.”
>She stares at you, unmoving save for that majestic mane still flowing in the imaginary wind.
>>21859073
>Funny. Even when throwing all her cards on the table and groveling at your feet, she still holds a regal air around her.
>It may be her size or reputation, but there always seems to be a power emanating from her. It’s managed to put all those in her presence at ease.
>All those save for demons from Tartarus and you humans.
>She has a point too.
>She’s at the end of her rope.
>Equestria’s future will be decided by what you say in this room now.
>It’s a terrible burden to have so many lives dependant on what you say.
>That’s a burden you accepted when you took the crown though.
>A human crown. These horses are meaningless to you.
>They’ve done nothing for you humans. Simple trades and the occasional festival.
>Still…there is an entire generation of innocent ponies on the line.
>Horses that never raised a hoof to your people.
>Women and children that have never seen war before.
>Could you really abandon them?
>Yes, you could. You were so ready too minutes ago.
>But should you?
>Would it be right to leave them to suffer alone?
>Your father, King Incognito, had always said that the strong exist to help the weak, and that’s why a king puts everything on the line for his people.
>There’s no doubt the humans are a force to be reckoned with.
“What are you prepared to give up?” you finally ask?
>Celestia seems caught off guard by your question.
>She raises an eyebrow in response.
“For my aid, what are you prepared to give me in return?”
>You’re going to squeeze her for everything she’s got if she wants your help.
>>21854439
>>21854504
>>21854509
>>21854517
>not using Project Thor
top pleb
>>21859041
>>21859057
>>21859073
>>21859090
LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!
>>21859090
>”I could reduce the prices on all our exports to New Earth.”
“More.”
>”W-well we could—“
“Here’s how it’s going to go. New Earth is now your favorite trading partner. Half of everything you export will be sent to us at half the price, and everything you buy from us will be double. Your soldiers will be drafted into any skirmish we may face. The humans will have exclusive access to your mines and ports.”
>Celestia stomps her hoof, obviously not happy with your terms.
>She glares at you, wings now flared out, and barks in borderline Royal Canterlot Voice.
>”That’s absurd! Why with all that, we may as well be ma—“
>She stops herself.
>The princess is silent for a minute.
>One turns to two, turns to you enjoying the rest of your wine.
>After staring off into space for a while, she sighs and composes herself.
>”In return for your help, I can offer you…myself.”
“Excuse me?” You’re going to need a buzz to think about that one. Down the hatch goes a newly poured glass of the red stuff.
>”My hoof in marriage.”
>You cover the table with the contents of your mouth and cough up whatever made it down your throat.
>Wow, right out of left field.
>That’s probably the one thing you weren’t prepared to hear.
>”Well?” she asks.
>Unbelievable. She thinks herself important enough that her hoof is such a powerful bargaining chip?
>Well, actually…
>Until this war, Equestria had been one of the strongest countries in the world.
>It’s taken a year facing three equally powerful nations alone to bring them to this point.
>Still though.
>>21859107
“This is a surprise. I’ll be honest. Of everything I thought you would say, that wasn’t on the list.”
>And you thought she had all her cards out before.
“I never thought I would live to see the day when my father’s greatest enemy would…propose.”
>”Our nations’ wealth could be shared. You and I could usher in a golden age. The humans and ponies both could prosper if you accept and send your aid.”
>How do you respond to that?
>She’s a…pony.
>She’s also the ruler of the sun, and the closest thing to a god you’ve ever seen.
>You’ll admit she’s not too bad looking either.
>Two nations like yours combining would be a sight to behold.
>It’s not real marriage.
>It’s just strategic allying through rings and a life bond.
>That’s a thing.
>Father forgive you.
>You slowly nod.
>Celestia perks up, taking a few ginger steps towards you until the soaked table stops her.
“I…accept your…generous offer.”
>The princess smiles, elated by your response.
>Then, you suppose the weight of your acceptance dons on her.
>Her smile slowly fades. “Very good. When can I expect your aid?”
“Soon. I believe we both have…things to attend to.”
>”Yes, quite.”
“…”
>”…”
“…”
>”…”
“I’ll uh, see myself out.”
>”Goodbye Anonymous. I’ll see you soon?”
“Yeah sure. I’ll bring a ring I guess.”
>”I will have one prepared as well.”
"Until next time."
>"Until next time...honey."
"Don't do that."
>"Right."
That's all I have written. Should I keep this going later?
Where is that B-29 flying bastard...
>>21859052
>implying you know how to build that
Come on, that's almost as ridiculous as the anon who wanted to give Celestia an atom bomb.
>>21859119
YES PLEASE
this is territory i havent experienced
>>21859119
Yes, yes you should.
>all these "war is bad" libtards
>No fuckawesome viking-like humans
Thread is shit.
>>21859131
...You rang?
Ah, I see the problem.
>>21853357
Just gimme a target, your majesty.
>>21859183
>"war is bad" libtards
What thread are you reading?
>>21859188
I direct you to >>21859160
>>21853645
>Mine Uranium 235
>Using a specially built nuclear centrifuge that Anon may remember the designs of since he'd be a nuclear scientist in the story, he enriches the uranium 235 to about 5%
>If a trucker can build Fat Man, a scientist can build little boy
>Harvest about 141 pounds of Ur, get some TNT, build your Little Boy shell and pretend its 1945 all over again
Dude, do you even nuke?
>>21859119
Fffuuuuuuuuck yes!
>>21856577
So you're saying get buff and curb stomp them? yeah, real challenge there.
>>21859188
read what this anon said tho>>21859056
>>21858920
"Hold on I must tweet this."
>>21859119
More.
>>21859056
Sir, my sides just left the stratosphere.
And perhaps you're right...
Maybe I should let Bockscar take over.
>>21859370
I actually meant if you'd stop bombing Equestria entirely. Unless Celestia tells you to, of course. You're essentially her soldier at this point, since you offered her help, in order to keep the deal up you need to do as she requests.
At least no nuclear weapons, mutated ponies would be kinda weird.
>>21859463
I'm offering to nuke her enemies though...
She wants a weapon to help end the terrible war, and I'm offering her one.
I don't see the problem here.
>>21859506
Does she even know of their power?...
>>21859514
Guess she's about to find out.
>>21859514
I'VE ONLY DROPPED THREE OF THEM ALREADY.
If she hasn't figured it out by now, she never will.
>>21859528
Consider the shit you're dealing with here, at least warn her about it
>inb4 another LuftAnon fanfic
>>21859544
Maybe she's just too focused on the war to actually check in on it, or something. As I said, you're essentially her soldier at this point, and what kind of soldier doesn't ask of their permission from their leader to drop a weapon capable of wiping out an entire army?
>>21859619
Fine, fine...
Princess, I have, in the bell of this flying machine, a weapon which has the potential to end this war in a matter of moments by wiping out an entire military in one explosion.
Would you allow me to use such a weapon to help you end said war?
Please?
So how's this for a premise:
Anon actually happens to be a high-flown nuclear technician and aviation scientist, and agrees to build weapons for Celestia:
Atom bombs.
Dropping one on a city of minotaurs and threatening more is enough to push them out of the war.
Diamond dogs, living underground, are more difficult to threaten, so they continue their harassment of Equestria unabated, and on his way to drop a bomb on the capital of the griffon kingdoms, anon, his plane, and his bomb all fall into the hands of the griffon special forces when they intercept him.
The griffons know what a bomb does by this point, given what happened to the minotaurs.
>>21859897
Sounds just as retarded as the roleplay.
>>21859897
>The only individual that has the knowledge to create the bomb, would recklessly go deep into enemy territory to drop it on a race of flying creatures.
uwotm8
>>21859897
Assuming Anon could also build bunker-busters and ICBM's, the war would still end rather quickly.
>>21859119
I like it.
>>21859943
I dunno', trusting a friendshippone to kill millions is a bit heavy.
>>21859725
The suspense
>>21860009
ya know what they say...silence is consent.
>>21860035
What if celestia is kill?should we bomb Canterlot again just in case they raided it in our absence?
>>21860077
Dubs demand it.
Canterlot it is!
>>21860262
Oh Celestia, save us all!
oh, wait...
>>21860262
For the hat-trick, boys!
...Target coming into view...
>>21860320
...Opening bomb-bay doors...
>>21860358
Is it too late to say I changed my mind about the idea of bombing Canterlot?
>>21860358
>>21860369
Yup.
>>21860358
>Griffons fly in out of nowhere and steal the bomb
>>21859119
>>21860389
Confirming the payload has reached its target.
For the third time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtSt5XZ7fq4
>>21860389
Well shit.
Now we definitely know Celestia is kill. I guess the marriage is off?
>>21860441
>implying you can't just marry her dead remains
>>21859370
>>21859463
>>21859506
>>21859514
>>21859528
>>21859544
>>21859552
>>21859563
>>21859619
>>21859725
>>21859897
>>21859927
>>21859943
>>21859945
>>21859958
>>21860009
>>21860035
>>21860077
>>21860262
>>21860303
>>21860320
>>21860358
>>21860369
>>21860389
>>21860401
>>21860428
>>21860441
Shhhhhhhhhhhhh. We are marriage alliance now.
>>21860486
What's that?
I can't hear you over the sound of these roaring engines.
>>21859119
Please do.
>>21860529
There, now that that is taken care of, let's get back to the story.
>>21853645
>this pleb doesn't know how to make gunpowder
The ingredients are fairly common anon, they've been making it since the 15th century.
>>21856577
Not really, keep in mind that if they are built to the scale of the ponies most diamond dogs would be around 4/5 foot tall at best. And their hides have not been shown to be stronger than that of an average dog, meaning projectiles would be effective.
Also anon, they live in close proximity in deep burros, a simple flu would decimate their numbers, add some weaponization to a couple of em..
>>21860633
>>21853357
>Tfw you are an engineer
>Tfw you know how to forge best blades, hardest armor and optical systems including lasers
>Tfw you are also a chemistry doctor so you know, how to make poisons, explosives and other things
>Tfw you can (in theory) make primitive gun by yourself frop a couple of pipes, wood pieces and some other... secret things.
That'll be more fun, actually, if Anon at this situation won't be an army commander. Instead he can be a "crasy scientist" who will greatily improve the quality of an army, combining his knowledge with the magic of this world.
Just imagine a simple bomb, enchanced with magic. Or an optical system, that focuses and "powers" raw "unicorn ray" into a thin laser-type ray, that cuts through everything.
A blade, that is...
>Tfw you know probably too much, he-hejhe
>"Well, sir, this beauty here should do the trick"
"What on Elequestria is that?"
>"M41A Pulse Rifle. Fabricated by Armat Battlefield Systems. UNCM standard issue. Decent weight, LCD ammo counter on the right side, fairly easy to handle. Sights are total shit, but they are usable, if only barely. Fires 10x24mm caseless ammunition at 900 rpm, in either single shot, quadruple shot, or fully automatic. Can split a Minotaur in half at close range, or cause fatal tissue damage to one at long range. U1 Grenade launcher fires 37lb antimatter fragment grenades, easily able to blow the average Elequestrian house in half".
"Very impressive, Anon! When do we start shipping these in?
>"Oh, after a payment of, say 40 million credits..."
>>21853357
I shall dispatch the drones right away, however in return I ask you execute lord Tirek before he takes over both of our realms.
>>21861232
>37lb
>>21861269
The wiki page didn't specify, so I winged it.
Also, 37lb of antimatter reacting with 37lb of matter would probably vaporize the entirety of Saddle Arabia.
>>21858716
got any more that are similar to this? because i would love that
>>21861232
>M42A Pulse Rifle
>Not M56 Smartgun
Give me two hammers and I will rebuild this world. In the name of your sister.
I mean...you can come too...but...moonbutt> Sunbutt
>>21853357
Simply point me in the direction of your enemies and remove my leash.
>>21861455
>One billionth of a gram of positrons contains as much energy as 37.8 kilograms (83 pounds) of TNT,[9]
I'm pretty sure 37 lbs of antimatter would vaporize the entire planet.
>>21858596
The invasion of Cloudsdale was a total disaster. Not because of the ponies defending the cloud city, no. The Wonderbolts were nothing more than trick flying showponies. What costed us the battle, what costed us so many lives, was the machines. The machines the humans created, that allowed them to fly. Large machines of wood and steel, moving far quicker than any griffon could fly. In comparison, these machines flew rather clumsily, and were larger than our minotaur allies, but they were nevertheless deadly. The thundersticks they mounted towards the front, the four fixed wings, the wheels on the bottom...just by looking at them, one would never guess they could fly. But they did.
We griffons could fight any pony in single combat, and emerge victorious. But just one of these human fighting machines could wipe out a single squadron of our warriors in a matter of minutes. We had formed ranks, and began descending upon Cloudsdale. The ponies were ready for us, and charged. They fought with courage, and any griffon could be proud, had they fought the same way. But soon the battle turned against them. We had taken their rainbow factory and their stadium, when we heard a loud buzzing coming from above. We tried to look towards the source, only to be blinded by Celestia's damned sun. Then came the thunder. The rapid sound of those awful human thundersticks. Immediately, my comrades around me began dropping out of the sky. Then I saw the shape of a massive "T" soar above me, in formation with five others. What followed was a strong wind, which blew me away, and scattered my unit. As I recovered, I saw the humans break their formation, and form into pairs. Why would they send only six, I wondered, and why only after my unit? Then I saw they were only the first wave.
>>21861619
Rapidly, other human machines began diving down at us, tearing through our ranks. There must've been dozens of those infernal machines, maybe hundreds. Too quick for our warriors to catch, too hard for our arrows to pierce. We tried to fight them, but how could we? Our numbers were gradually being thinned, and it was only by sheer luck that I managed to down even one of them. I saw from a distance that the controllers of the machines were exposed. I decided to descend quickly, going up over the top wing. The human at the controls looked up with a gasp. He reached for what I saw was a small piece of metal, and aimed it at me. I immediately knew it was a smaller version of one of their thundersticks, and ducked behind the wing, hearing two shots ring out. Knowing that he would not tolerate my presence long, and would attempt to shake me off, Itook my spear, and quickly lashed out to stab him. As the spear thrusted into his chest, he raised his weapon, and took my eye.
I heard the sound of the retreat horn, and with little other recourse, I flew off, my face bleeding. When we were fighting the ponies, we'd only lost two or three griffons. When we fought the humans, we lost 150. I was the only one who made a kill that day.
- Sgt. Bronzebeak, Third Aerial battalion.
>>21861619
>>21861630
Bretty good but lets here some shit about humans in close combat.
Brothers everywhere!
raise your hands into the air!
>>21857850
FUKKEN YEAH!
>>21861715
The humans would loose. We aren't superior by any physical measurement. It's our tech that makes us superior.
>>21861832
>>21861832
But guns are boring. Humans would rape the dogshit out of anyone in close combat.
>>21861832
>humans would lose
>>21861832
>humans would loose
>>21861973
>>21862036
>>21861904
>>21861878
>forgetting that thumans are up against legions of minotaurs
>>21862083
>Implying the minotaurs of MLP are that big.
>Implying a boy didn't kill the minotaur in his own labrynth
>>21861904
i disagree.
diamondog? maybe an even match,against a trained,melee infantry soldier at least.
griffon? again,only maybe, due to the possibility of hollow bones despite the lion body,and it would be a tough battle one on one if you were lucky and fit as all fuck.
Minotaur? yeah one minotaur could take out several humans like we were nothing.
and this is me being generous to us against creature inherently made for more physical feats then humans.
i do agree the era is a bit boring to think about. put us with napoleon era tech at least,and things get interesting. further back,rome times even. watch scorpions and crossbows take out the griffons,and maybe spartan like soldiers keeping the Minotaurs at bay through sheer numbers,although i still think a single minotaur with a large weapon would sweep them aside.
>>21862128
>Implying mlp minotaurs AREN'T that big.
>Implying that the boy didn't achieve a feat thought to be impossible
>Implying the minotaur in that story wasn't fed prisoners on a daily basis, I.e human beings
>>21861904
>modern guns are boring
ftfy
>>21862083
>>21862128
>>21862192
Guys, guys.
There's been plenty of work done to figure out MLP sizes before.
The average mare is 3.5 feet tall. Iron Will is over two mares high.
Iron Will is a bit short of 8 feet if you count his horns.
>>21858716
oh god, these are getting annoying quite fast
>>21853357
Drop a 500m - 1km wide meteor or asteroid on them or, hell, shower them with 10m wide meteors. There, problem solved.
>>21862422
She doesn't control asteroids
She can drop the Sun on them, though
Which brings up the question why anyone would go to war with a nation who's diarchs control the Sun and Moon
>>21862460
It's an illusion created by discord. They are the only ones that can break it, but it is only in equestria. The rest of the world has the sun and moon raise on their own.
>>21861559
I see where your coming from, but those things are probably as heavy as a present-day mini-gun (aka really fucking heavy), so, while it pales in comparison in firepower, when it comes to practicality, the M42A comes out on top for me.
Mind you, ponies can lift heavier weights than us humans, so they might be able to carry it, but, I'm not that sure.
>>21862460
Still doesn't mean the combined power of Celestia and Luna couldn't just grab a meteor and bring to the ground. Hell, Twilight hopped up on Celestia, Luna, and Cadence leveled mountains in her battle with Tirek, imagine what the true wielders of that power can do.
>>21859097
>Project Thor
we're trying to be almost-feasible here m8, we dont even know how universal gravity works on their realm seeing the moon doesn't fall into earth when it stands still, for example.
>>21861617
Okay, lets just change that to a two billionth of a gram grenade. That seems more like it. Or let's just replace the antimatter with ordinary plastic explosive.
>>21861832
>humans would lose
Technology is great, but there was once a time when our greatest tool was a spear--and a flimsy one at that. We fought then and won. I doubt a trained human with adrenaline in their veins would have a hard time against whatever Equestria can throw at them. We have an amazing ability to ignore pain and injuries and fight on like wild animals.
>>21862083
>>21862192
Pic related. Ponies are tops waist height of a human, and Iron Will is about twice a mare. They're not that tall, and I'd be willing to bet there are a few other things that would make them pale in comparison to the minotaurs of legend. Again, a trained human should come out on top.
>>21863089
>pic related
My bad.
>>21853357
Maybe a Blitzkrieg?
>>21863145
Someone with a good grip on those horns could easily break his neck
>>21859119
Keep this going or I'll insert a live sea urchin up your urethra while you're sleeping.
>>21863381
I would wish someone step on a lego before I wish this upon them. What horrid things had you seen when you were little? How many hugs were you deprived of?
>>21863381
I don't there are adult sea urchins small enough for this to be feasible
At least, not spiny ones
>>21863381
while i agree he should keep going,i feel he has yet to disappoint to the point of urethra torture via anything,much less a sea urchin.
compromise and use a sea cucumber first as a warning?
>>21863475
It was awful, Anon. Once when I was a child my parents wouldn't let me watch Thomas the Tank Engine while at my nan's house. Those kids in Africa that have to walk fifteen miles every day for water that's just going to make them shit themselves to death anyway don't know how lucky they are.
>>21863286
Hence why horned helmets were always a bad idea.
>>21863536
Okay, first as a warning I'll delicately insert a daffodil into his anus while he's sleeping, then take a series of thought provoking black and white photos of the scene from different angles and tour the world's most prestigious galleries with them, calling them an "impressionistic journey into the nature of human sexuality."
>>21863571
>Those kids in Africa that have to walk fifteen miles every day for water that's just going to make them shit themselves to death anyway
This thread has convinced me to buy Total War: Attila. Lets hope it's better than Rome 2.
>>21863654
empires rose and fell during the time i spent in paint making this.
>>21863819
>>21863914
That's... not the reaction gif I was looking for. +1 like.
>>21863286
>Nine feet tall
>Neck thicker than your torso
Watch out guys, we've got a badass here!
>>21863997
The way I'd attempt to defeat a minotaur would be to strike at his legs. I mean look at them, they're an obvious weak point and a good spear thrust to the calfno cow pun intendedwould topple him easily thanks to how top heavy he is.
>>21863914
>>21863933
seeing as how you threatened to stick an urchin up someones urethra for needing a break from writing,i think ill pass on fighting you.
>>21863933
>+1 like
>>21863997
Look at the guy. He's completely top-heavy. His legs are toothpicks and his waist is like a fifth of his shoulder length. A thick neck means shit when someone can have you on the ground in less than a second, and with muscles that size, you won't be able to do much to get them off you.
Continuing from >>21859119
>You leave Celestia alone, exiting the castle and heading to your carriage.
>As you near it, a familiar girl jogs up to you, the little armor she wears clanking along the way.
>”Did it go well, my lord?”
“Don’t worry, Innominate. It…went.” You smile, stepping into your grand vehicle with her in step.
“And you? How were the accommodations?”
>”The guards were pleasant enough. They didn’t talk, but I wouldn’t have enjoyed conversation anyway.”
“You should try to be more sociable.”
>”A general doesn’t need to be sociable; they need to know how to command.”
“And how can you command someone you don’t even know?”
>You share a smile and engage in idle chat the rest of the ride up north.
>Along the way, you catch the occasional group of ponies migrating out, likely to escape conflict.
>They’re dirty creatures.
>The war has sullied their coats and drained their homes, which is why you suppose it be best to get your troops down here soon.
>After making it through the borders, you enter into unclaimed land until making it back to New Earth.
>The second the gates open, you’re met with a bustling little town.
>It warms you to see all the smiling humans running between shops or homes, darting between carriages in the street, and just enjoying life.
>When you were little, your father would tell you many stories of the planet you came from.
(This post limit is killing me)
>>21864300
>Earth. Just Earth. On it, billions of people shared the land, but divided it into countries much like in Equestria.
>He would talk of cities. Huge, monstrous things, filled with people and strange machines called cars.
>The buildings, each a testament to human architecture and their victory over nature, was large enough to scratch the sky itself.
>The Canterlot Castle was the same, though it cheated. It took refuge on a mountain.
>No, according to your father, humans would dig even deeper into the ground to level it all out, *then* build up.
>That’s even more amazing than just putting up on whatever was there before!
>When you first took the crown, you made a vow that before you died, your people would have that.
>Your humans would find home in giant structures that would pierce the clouds, and look out on the lands above everyone else.
>”My lord, we’ve arrived at the castle.”
“Gather your troops and bring them here. I’ve to tell them our hand in the war.”
>”Yes, your highness.”
>>21864316
“Alright Tia, it’s ok. It’s only…marriage.”
>You are Celestia, and you are pacing back and forth in your private quarters.
>Worried, and reasonably so, you mull over what you just said.
>One thousand years.
>You’ve ruled for one thousand years, fighting against all odds, the greatest foes your world had ever seen.
>How then, has everything gone so far south?
>This last century has proved to be just as draining as a millennia ago.
>It all started with those humans.
>One day they just…appeared.
>Nobody knew how, but a small group of these monkey beings found themselves plotted right outside Equestria’s border.
>Having just finished off yet another great threat, you were not willing to take chances.
>After all, what if they were soldiers of Tirek? What if they were some relics of the past like Discord’s chaos seed? A morphed, physical embodiment of negative emotions, maybe.
>You looked into them, searching for any sense of friendship you could work with.
>It was there, but not much. Everything was buried under tons and tons of mixed emotions.
>Hatred and malice you would have trouble finding in the most jaded of ponies.
>Greed and jealousy that would put a grown dragon to shame.
>Anger and ferocity that could poison the gentles of beings and turn them into some mad beast.
>No, you would not take a chance.
>>21864330
>These monkeys proved to be more than a challenge though. With sorry tools made from sticks and stones on the road, they had defended themselves from a battalion of trained guards.
>It was embarrassing.
>You sent more forces to wipe them out, but they came on top every time.
>Their numbers shrunk from the starting hundred thousand, but only in small increments.
>It was when they called it a war that everything changed.
>Those humans took the offensive, and with laughable tools made from ores they found in the north, they charged.
>It was wild and bloody.
>It would take forty humans to take out one of your squads, so they would send eighty.
>They adapted their techniques, and fortified their armaments.
>Losses on both sides were staggering, but you figured you wait them out.
>You had been so wrong.
>No, you couldn’t wait them out.
>The humans were driven by *something*.
>To their last breath and beyond, with both feet planted firmly in a coffin, a human would fight on until their body was in ruin.
>Your guards were absolutely no match for a force like this.
>After several years, the bloodshed was too much, and you and your sister had to call the whole thing off.
>It was then you found out that these brutes had actually developed a government.
>Both people and military were led by one man. A self-dubbed king named Incognito.
>He was gruff, and when in the room made you feel nervous. He exuded an aura of power and pride that filled his men with vigor.
>Despite being the very monster that had ordered such unspeakable things done in the name of “human advancement”, he was quite reasonable.
>You agreed to simple terms, and the humans were out of your hair until now.
>>21864347
>Such a display made Equestria look weak.
>You were worried about the fallout from that war, and you were right to be.
>Come last year, the three countries you would least want to interact with teamed and attacked.
>Needless to say, it went about as well as your campaign against the humans.
>Now here you are, pacing and sweating over a marriage proposal made in desperation to the people that had embarrassed you so completely it would start a war seventy years later.
>King Anonymous is much like his father in many ways, and yet vastly different.
>In or out of his kingly garb, you can feel a sense of pride that mirrors Incognito, and a smoldering hate you would fear to see unleashed.
>It really is a good thing you’re getting married.
>The humans are surely more formidable than they were years ago, and they hold a most favorable position. Abundant resources won from the elk and frost giants fuel their economy.
>Now you can share in that wealth, that protection, and even gain more land for your ponies to thrive in.
>Yes, this was the best course of action.
>>21864359
>You look out over a monstrous crowd filled with civilians and soldiers alike. The torches in the moonlight illuminate them well enough that from your high ground on a stage, their faces are clear as day.
>You, King Anonymous, must now deliver a pretty little speech to fire them up and ready them for war.
>Innominate stands by your side, having added to the little armor she once war, and now in a full suit.
>You’ve dressed up yourself, donning the battle crown and a jewel-encrusted sword gifted to you by your father, which had been gifted to him by the elk after he conquered them and pushed them out of the north.
“Do you know what I see before me? I see my friends. I see my family. I see my brothers and sisters in arms, and know that I can trust my life to each and every one of you. This is what it means to be human. No matter our differences, we are all undeniably bonded by our humanity. Against any force that ever was, or ever will be, we have and will stand united, for there is no greater or nobler purpose than fighting for those who would risk their life for you. There is no being in this world or the next that will be more willing to stand for your rights than the man by your side.”
>>21864374
>The crowd claps and cheers at your words.
“Now I ask you to put that bond under the fire once more. To the south, our Equestrian neighbors fight. No, to call it a fight would be insulting. They are barely managing to hold off a slaughter! The might of three kingdoms pound down on them this very second!”
>This gets a mixed response. There are definite gasps, and yet a few more cheers.
“The ponies, try as they might, are helpless against these monsters. Monsters from legend! Griffons, minotaurs, and diamond dogs alike, threaten to undo Equestria! They threaten to slaughter her citizens, destroy their homes, and blacken the ground with their blood!”
“Can we let this continue? This senseless massacre goes against everything I was raised to believe. I believe that the strong should exist to protect the weak, so that all may live happily, so that all may prosper, and all may live a fulfilling life. The Equestrians are weak, and yet these brutes terrorize them. Their strong rape and murder the weak, and disgrace the gods themselves!”
>>21864054
>>21864155
I'mSureToWinMySpeedIsSuperior.png
>>21864392
>No cheers now. There is only silence, and that’s perfect. You have them hanging on your words.
“We humans are strong. It not our obligation, but our duty to stop this madness. The actions the belligerent nations of Griffonia, the Canis Lands, and the Taurus Empire, are affronts to the gods! They spit in the face of all that you and I have been raised to believe, and it must be stopped! Equestria’s fate lies in our hands, and by our hands, we will decimate the opposition. For our beliefs. For our families. For New Earth, and for Equestria!”
>You raise your sword high, the gems sparkling in the torchlight, and the humans before you erupt into mad screams and applause.
>Soldiers pump their blades, hollering, and civilians clap and whistle.
>”And for your fiancé?” Innominate smiles and jabs your side.
>You smile back and shrug, then return your gaze to your subjects, and puff your chest out once more.
“Ready yourselves! We march at dawn!”
>>21864408
And that's all I got for now.
>>21855770
So continuing on from this thought process, what are your opinions on satyr soldiers in the human armies? The way I'm imagining it is that in Anon's society a satyr is considered of higher standing than it's non-human parent, but below that of a human half-sibling.
So for example if a human lord had satyr child with a pony or griffon from an affluent merchant family, that child would be considered of higher status than its non-human parent thanks to its human blood, but it could never inherit its fathers land's and titles and would be considered lower in the feudal hierarchy than its pure human half-sibling, even if it was older.
That's not to say satyrs are necessarily considered second class citizens. They're renowned for their endurance and quick reflexes, and make ideal light infantry in service to their lord, with some even being knighted after proving themselves on the battlefield.
Non-humans in Anon's land also would have identical legal rights as their human counterparts. Killing a satyr, griffon or pony etc, would hold the same punishment as the murder of a human.
1/2
>>21864487
The way I'm imagining the history of Anon's kingdom going is sort of like this.
>About 1,500 - 2,000 years ago the first humans entered Equestria, numbering in the low thousands.
>After several decades their numbers had grown considerably and they now resided as citizens within many nations.
>After years of growing tensions with the native species, the humans were cast out from their homes and eventually settled in the area now ruled by Anon.
>Through many centuries they grew and expanded their borders northwards and colonised much land that was previously considered too inhospitable to settle, unearthing vast mineral wealth in the form of gold and silver.
>Through years of trading, the humans grew prosperous and built many great cities and fortifications to protect their lands, making special effort to ensure that the mountains on the southern borders were made almost impassable to hostile forces.
>As trade flourished many immigrants of various species settled in the human lands seeking a better life than that which they'd left behind.
>Though distrust was rampant, cross-breeding inevitably occurred and over time a new race of half-breeds emerged.
>Over the centuries the satyr population has grown and they now make up the single largest minority in Anon's realm.
>Though mixing of the species was common now, especially among the lower classes, the noble houses always sought to preserve their pure human ancestry.
>Fast forward to the first year of Anon's reign and he's fighting a civil war against an alliance of lords that seek to depose him in place of his younger brother.
>Anon defeats the rebellion and rules for 10 years unopposed.
>Present day, Celestia calls for his aid.
Too edgy perhaps?I've been playing too much Crusader kings 2.
2/2
>>21864426
Its good
>>21864426
dude, this is fucking amazing, you must save this in a pastebin for the future to enjoyand maybe some animations
>>21864406
It's nothing to do with speed but rather reach. I've done HEMA for a few years now, and while I'm not that great and certainly no expert, in my experience a man with a spear and shield can beat an otherwise superior opponent with startling ease if he knows what he's doing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=klOc9C-aPr4&index=9&list=PLCA860ECD7F894424
>>21864605
>CK2
My nigga.Do you praise the Zun?
>>21858716
>>21861500
>>21864487
>>21864605
Why are people assuming satyrs can happen
Crossbreeds obviously don't work with any other species in Equestria, why would humans be any different?
>>21864684
Lately I've been mostly playing the Game of Thrones mod. I just love capturing that bastard Joffrey and killing him in trial by combat, then going and making yet another baby with Daenerys.
>>21864719
Because humans are the most virile species in mythology.
>>21864719
Because they're cute and I like the idea of them charging into battle alongside their human counterparts. Plus there's not much point to marrying Celestia if you can't produce an heir.
>>21864719
Explain bat ponies then.
>>21864719
.....Explain Griffins then. After all, they are just the bastard child of an eagle and a lion.
>>21864840
Donut steel
>>21864866
I don't believe the mythological creature is supposed to be a halfbreed, just an already existing animal that happens to have those traits
Ancient people weren't very original with their mythological beasts
>>21864884
>I don't believe the mythological creature is supposed to be a halfbreed
okay, Minotaurs.
>>21864719
>Crossbreeds obviously don't work with any other species in Equestria
>What are Griffins and Minotaurs
>>21864154
I think he was joking.
>>21864799
wouldn't celestia outlive any hier? infact this is a great deal for her, 100 years from now she's queen of the humans.
>>21864926
You're saying that like we're not going to impregnate her and produce an immortal, sartyr child.Or twenty
Then we make plans for regency in the form of our children.
>>21864906
Shit
You got me there
>>21856407
A dog with a stick versus a tank, artillery and ground forces?
>Air.
Anti Aircraft Artillery exists for a reason. Tanks also have mounted MGs which would be just as effective.
>>21864926
Except that unless Anon changes the laws of succession her species disqualifies her from inheriting Anon's lordship. Though that does raise the question of if Anon and Celestia's child would be considered the rightful heir by the lords after Anon's death.Of course if something were to happen to both Celestia and Luna that means Anon would become sole ruler of both Equestria and his own lands.
I don't know, I really don't have it ironed out. All I know is that I want satyrs to be a thing.
>>21864926
You're saying that like humans would allow themselves to be ruled by a non-human
At the most, they'd become an autonomous province within Equestria
>>21853444
>>21864966
actually come to think of it, celestia would be queen-consort so the crown would pass to our children as soon as we died.
>>21864374
>“Do you know what I see before me? I see my friends. I see my family. I see my brothers and sisters in arms, and know that I can trust my life to each and every one of you. This is what it means to be human. No matter our differences, we are all undeniably bonded by our humanity. Against any force that ever was, or ever will be, we have and will stand united, for there is no greater or nobler purpose than fighting for those who would risk their life for you. There is no being in this world or the next that will be more willing to stand for your rights than the man by your side.”
I think I recognise some of this speech from Arn - The Knight Templar, right?
>>21865185
I've never seen that movie, but I won't lie; a few of the lines were inspired from other speeches.
>>21865203
It's not half bad in my opinion.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhrMo-z8E04
------
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8fhwf8qAQrM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhWjCmqEhlc
>>21853357
>Diamond Dogs
>>21865220
I'm always in the mood for a good knight flick. Thanks.
>>21865220
>Open movie in new tab
>Scroll down to comment section out of habit
Fuck me. Well, there goes the movie.
>>21865276
It's still worth a watch I'd say.
