ITT: greentext the last book you read and others guess what it is.
Mein gott, she could kill me in seconds. Does anyone get turned on at the thought of this girl wrestling you down and then using her strength and technique superiority to smother your face with her breasts while teasing you and laughing?
please post this kind of stuff elsewhere
>be me
>be an artist
>out of ideas
>go to a new place to clear my head
>immediately fall for this qt 3.14
>she's literally everything to me, all i ever think about is her
>take care of her younger sisters, get to know her pretty well
>she's promised to marry some fucking normie chad
>go away for a while
>all i can think about is her
>come back
>fuck this, one of us has to die
>decide to kill myself
>share a really passionate moment with qt
>goodbye guys, time to die.
>>8028009
>DUDE
>SPOOKS
>LMAO
>Be an old, lonely proofreader
>Sabotage a history book just because
>New supervisor asks you to rewrite the said history book as if the error actually occurred in real history
>Fall in love with the supervisor
>The end.
>>8028053
This sounds like something Borges would write.
>>8028053
Is it a book by murakami?
>>8028022
sorrows of young werter
>>8028009
>be me
>have uncomfortable relationship with mother
>see her almost burn to death but whatever
>see a Nazi plane crash in my village, check it out
>start using dead pilots respirator
>breathing out of his lungs lmao
>start lodging at this couple's house.
>be me
>have weird guy lodging in my house
>he talks me into fixing a horse race
>go with him to transport the horse and he ends up getting kicked to death by it
>lmao just bury him under some mud
>go to race
>see one of the guys who is on it get murdered by another guy who is in on it
>whatever I'll just fuck some bimbos
>where the fuck is my wife?
>oh...they raped her
>oh...they killed her
>time to stop the race
>limp as fast I can across the track
>oh shit there's someone in the bushes
>fuck he shot me
>still limping, blood trailing, mixing with the dew
>he keeps shooting
>falling, limbs flailing, falling, no one sees, no one sees, the grass rushing closer, ready for me, I'm ready, fade to black
>fuck I'm dead
>be me
>be 30, old as fuck
>just married some 23 y/o chick
>she's fucking materialistic and egocentric
>need to go to the hospital for some shit
>wife doesn't even visit me for like a day and a half
>start thinking about this chick i used to fuck, because friends keep bringing her up
>decide to go visit her when i get out
>she acts weird, as if i'm nothing to her anymore
to be cont.
>golf course golf course
>smells like trees
>ooh no oh no ooh im a wettie maybe ill kill meself
>dam sluts dunno wots good fer em
>dam sluts dun run awf again
>silly white folks praise jesus
>>8028009
>Everything is a fucking metaphore
>The old man can speak cat ayyy lmao
>>8028101
The sound and the fury
>>8028087
The Lime Twig. Nice
>be me
>go to a funeral
>stroll around for a bit
>meet people
>go home
>cheating slut of a wife won't stop mumbling abstract meaningless nonsense
>yes
>>8028009
>run away from home
>chill in a library
>dream that I killed my dad
>be anxious that I killed my dad
>friendly tranny lets me chill at his cabin
>go wander in the woods, find some soldier bros
>they let me chill at their cabin
>decide it's not chill so I ball out
>>8028235
Dream Meme by Jambo Jouissance
>>8028209
Bingo
>yoyoing and searching
>>8028373
VVVVV
>>8028009
>writer goes to his childhood town
>sex with girl he met like two days ago
>befriends old teacher and boy
>vampires everywhere
>priest lost his faith and runs away to save the day in other book
>kill vampire
>burn town
>>8028235
Odysseus, by J.J. Meme
>be me
>got hired to observe the venus transit in Africa
>got to take a amauter with me
>ship is attacked by the french but we survive
>stay in and landowner house in Africa
>all his daughters want to fuck me and my friend
>found out they just want me to fuck their woman slave so they can have a white baby to trade in the city
>meet a talking dog that loves watching cockfights
>suddenly clocks are having an argument
>finished the job
>keep seeing dead wife
>is there any superior force commanding our paths?
>hirer sent us to America
>cross the country with a bunch of lumberjacks, indians, a reverend and a china man
>china man believes there's an jesuit who want to thwart our job and kill him
>china man disguises as jesuit
>china man starts believing he's the jesuit himself
>meet a french cook
>he's followed by an invisible talking duck who protects him
>he invents sandwich
>meet a guy who is a werebeaver
>found out the Swedish lumberjack who works for us is an spy for something or someone, he's not sure
>werebeaver fights Swedish lumberjack, eclipse makes werebeaver loses his powers
>finished the job
>go back home
>life is almost over now
>meet children I've been running from
>got married again
>feels good man
>dead wife keeps showing up
>feels bad man
>friend says he went to the inner earth
>we still meet from time to time
>be me
>be rich, powerful mayor of pleasant city
>still secretly depressed all the time
>have retarded friends and family
>have to save the town while facing a coup because everyone is a moron
>>8028087
Wait, Hencher and his mum lived in a village? I had the impression it was an apartment building in London or some other big city.
And did Banks get shot before jumping on the race track? I thought the thug in the bushes missed.
>be a Jew
>the fuzz caught me
>dad saves my ass
>>8028235
Effin' Game's Weak by J.Jo
>>8028481
Anne Frank's Diary - 50th Anniversary Alternative Ending Edition
>>8028235
Finnegans Wake
>be me
>best friend wins the war and becomes king
>he becomes decadent and foolish
>king visits
>son falls and is paralyzed
>king asks me to be right hand man
>travel to the king's city with daughters
>investigate the last advisor's death
>discover terrible secret
>sentenced to death
>drop to my knees
>sword is swinging towards my neck
>kneeling on the floor
>everybody walk the dinosaur
>>8028054
>Fall in love with the supervisor
>something Borges would write
I don't think you've ever read Borges, m8. Don't post shit like that again, please. I know you don't intend to be funny but you are to me, cunt.
>>8028519
a game of memes
>see neighbor
>he has a mental break staring at some green light
>later
>he let's a woman drive his car and she kills someone
>gets murdered over it
>end
>people go on islands for ages and dont eat
>gods and shit
>not just greeks though
non-fiction, suggested here a lot
>>8028414
Candide
>>8028414
Mason and Dixon.
>>8028009
>be moon
>be computer scientist
>let's overthrow the government for fun
>I don't know what I'm doing
>let the computer do all the work
>libertarianism is kinda cool
>become space america
>oh I'm president but my best friend is dead
the end
>going down the river on a boat somewhere in Africa
>then this dude starts telling us about that time he went down the river in Africa
>niggers and shit on his story
>there's also this one dude that speaks so fucking well, but proceeds to die because fuck if i know
>he ends the story and we keep going
>>8028688
It's that Heinlein book, isn't it? Haven't read it.
>leg hurts, or does it
>can't remember my name. oh, wait, yes i can.
>kill doge but woman is nice
>wew forest is big
>another leg is stiff; i crawl
>i think i can stay in this pit
>.
>but why should i go after him
>why is my son so stupid
>i have to leave, i have to leave
>buy us a bike, son, DO YOU UNDERSTAND
>why have i just killed this lad
>leg hurts
>son left
>come back home, it's empty
>it's midnight...
>not
>>8028691
Great oh Darkness. Ducking auto correct. I ain't even gonna bother editing this.
>>8028009
are people actually attracted to this body type?
>>8028704
It's a great book if you can tolerate the made up english dialect. Has some neat ideas, definitely ahead of it's time.
>>8028733
Betas who're into dominatrix-type women are.
I wouldn't be attracted to her, but i would still respect that girl because she could beat me to death, probably, with my current body state.
>>8028017
Me.
![882387914[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/Q6FctMH.jpg "882387914[1].jpg")
>>8028733
yes
>Be me
>Be a wizard
>Romping through the jungle
>Climbing up a sheer cliff face
> I end up in an an old temple, natives are creeping on me
>Pass out due to exhaustion
>Dream I am a teacher
>I am lecturing hundreds of my pupils
>In the waking world, I eat very little and sleep the whole day away
>In my dream, only one pupil can challenge my brilliance
>I dream night and day, teaching this pupil all there is to know
>Soon in the waking world I fashion my dream pupil a crude body of mud and clay
>After much focus and concentration the clay shell becomes filled with his spirit
>I begin teaching him while I wake, no longer able to dream
>At last, I send him off to another temple down river where he is to study
>Can't let him know he is only a dream. The weight of what I have done sets in
>The temple catches fire, my pupil presumably dies a flaming death
>My own temple is engulfed in flames, but I cannot be burned
>Because much like my dream pupil, I too am simply the product of someone's dream
Should be easy
>be me, chillin on a boat
>boat crashes and I awake on another boat
>scary burly sailors everywhere
>now I'm trapped on this other damn boat
>captain scary dude who could easily kill me
>he's kind of a bro though, we talk lit
>get used to life on the sea
>some other stuff happens
>>8028247
Kafka on the Shore.
Murakami has stated the book is a riddle, the answer to which will only be revealed after numerous rereads, and that there will be a different answer for every individual.
And that was the point where I knew beyond a sliver of doubt that Murakami is a hack.
>>8028559
Chill the fuck out man
>>8029052
Borges, cba to find Ficciones and tell you the name of the story
>>8028009
>Wake up to police in my house
>they fuck up qt grills room almost imperceptibly
>use as excuse to get with grill
>she ignores
>some other things happen, fuck if I remember
>get shot in the head
>>8028009
>be me
>following this old dude through the mountains, keeps outpacing me despite being like 200
>finally get to hippie commune in a cave in the mountains
>getting introduced to all these weirdos, leader is a mouth breathing chad
>q.t.Ï€ comes out of the cave
>tells me she loves me, promise to marry her that same night
>spend the rest of the evening listening to these fucks tell their dreary stories about village life
Anyway fast forward like 3 days
>running away from the cops after we messed around with some transport infrastructure
>leg gets blown the fuck off by the damn feds
>trying to hold it together
>everyone decides to fuck off, including q.t 3.14
>have to go an hero to maintain my dignity
>>8029211
the trial m8 not even hard
>>8029052
Fuckin Borges, I forget the name of that story.
>>8028748
The third one is definitely Mason & Dixon. It's a pretty good description.
>>8028009
>In my 40s, wife dead, lonely as shit
>Young girl slips me a note saying that she loves me
>My 40+ brother doesn't want me being together with anyone because it would be bad for the family
Pff fuck that guy
>Fuck on the low
>He finds out and convinces us to stop seeing each other
>Family is the most important thing.
>I love my Big Brother
>be young homo in nihon
>like muscular dudes
>like gore
>love girls
>no erection though
>>8029313
1984
>>8028247
Crushed on the friendly tranny when I read this
>be me
>young boy
>see the boi
>run away from home
>get stabbed in a bar fight
>recover and leave bar
>get into another fight and get my ass beat again
>guy who kicked my ass helps me up
>we homeboys now
>establish our friendship by killing a dude together, male bonding.
>get thrown in jail
>get released and join up with some shady fuckers promising money and adventures if we just kill some folks and scalp them
>go in some desert adventures, killing everyone we meet
>one if the guys is a fat bald white guy that talks like a redditor
>stops every 10 minutes to draw some shit
>more desert adventures, killing dang ole injuns and almost getting killed by dang ole injuns
>almost starve to death like 16 times
>find a ferry crossing
>lol it's ours now
>SHIT INDIANS
>call them niggers anyways
>run away with an arrow through my leg because our shit just got rek'd
>see a figure in the desert
>it's that goddamn redditor
>tries to fucking kill me
>run away, go on some other adventures. grow up and shit
>go to a bar
>IF IT ISNT THAT GODDAMN REDDIT FAGGOT PROBABLY GONNA LECTURE ME ABOUT FUCKIN SPACE
>he totally does
>there's a dancing bear and some fuck shoots it
>fat white guy dancing
>says he doesn't sleep, he will never die
>mfw he doesn't sleep
>mfw he will never die
>mfw I have no face because I am dead
>>8028009
>every1 b4 me got it wrong
>senses is but the beginning
>die a lick tick
>CONSCIOUSNESSCONSCIOUSNESSCONSCIOUSNESS
>the internet is in our brains
>dude mal lmao
>hipster quirky girl against the corporations
>tragic irony as she dies pleading the corporations
>main hero is as dumb as a brick
>hipster girl and main hero tries to fuck
>in the end, she becomes a vegetable
>>8029031
ew by
>>8029342
meme meridian
>be me
>ex bf dies
>have to execute his will
>how.jpg
>put on a shit load of clothes
>fuck this guy
>weird symbol on stamp
>MostImportantThingInMyLifeNow.jpg
>see a play
>go to a factory
>go to a club
>all these coincidences
>YouCallMeParanoid,ICallYouUninformed.png
>Guy thinks I'm a trap
>question sanity
>go home to see psychiatrist
>tfw he's actually /pol/
>husband becomes one with the universe using LSD
>leave
>auction of stamps
>guy in Trystero going to buy them
>going to assault him to try and figure out if crazy or found real conspiracy
Should be very easy. Might have got the order of events a bit wrong though.
Stoner
>Be me
>Go to a graveyard with my friends for some shits and giggles
>Get lost, feeling scarred start running
>Bump into this guy and fall down
>See guy get attacked
>I save him for some reason
>tfw I might be gay for a guy I don't even know
>>8029391
TCoL49
>>8029391
crying of lot 49
>turned into old person
>rule #1 of magic club is you can't talk about your curse
>>8029432
Howl's Mobile Mansion
>there is a God
>is a God
>a God
>God
>implying God is real
>The Idiot
>2 guys from Germany use super hot dialectics to BTFO modern economic systems
>Decide to make a melodramatic leaflet about it
>>8028009
Rereading it
part 1:
>Gimmie bak my gurl
>NOO
>ARRRRROOOOWWWWW
>SOWWy
>ShEEp DeATh
>BOO BOO BOO A DREAM FOR YOU
>RiSE UOP ABNDF RAPE IT ALL
>1000000000000000 BOOOAAAAATTTTSSS
>REEEEEEEEEEEE
>>8029342
>see dat boi
>I'm a suicidal woman
>My mind is immaterial and my body is filthy
>I only want to die
>Let me explain how badly I want to die for 38 pages
>brb suicide
>>8029550
Iliad. Nice.
>>8029617
Sylvia is that you?
>be me
>amateur filmmaker
>only friend is a nigger
>girl gets cancer
>forced to befriend her
>she like our movies
>girl dies
>nothing happens
I'm ashamed
>>8029671
Newp.
>>8029677
I had to guess, never read the Bell Jar
>>8029517
I don't think you're doing it right
>>8029617
I want to say something by Plath but the "38 pages" is throwing me off
>>8029673
Me n Earl n dead girl
I saw the movie. didn't know it was a book
>>8028595
The Groots Gotsta Be Fuckin' Scott & Cheryl
>>8029474
What is this?
>>8029704
Righto. It's pretty good as far as YA books go. The writer is a Harvard graduate, and it's pretty fun overall and plays with form a lot. It just took me three hours to read (and I read rather slowly), so if you're interested it's a quick, easy, and enjoyable read.
>>8028595
Fitzy Gerald and the Gobsmacking Gat
>>8029717
you had me at 3 hours
>>8029313
Kek
>>8029376
Neuromancer
>>8029695
Her last published work was 38 pages. And a play. Your only hints.
>>8029531
De comme une est-ce main en fasse t'sois?
>be me
>take a boat visiting my fellow wealthy lit snob
>boat crashes and sinks
>gonna die
>get saved by passing ship
>forced to join crew by ubermensch captain
>some people die
>life sucks
>become frenemies with captain
>slowly lose effete rich-bitch ways
>some more people die
>win picturesque knife sharpening starring contest
>some people die
>wish fulfillment waifu joins ship under similar circumstances
>captain becoming increasingly uncool
>escape
>fuck seals
>fuck waifu
>free ship
>crazy ass guy comes into town
>builds mansion
>bastard son returns, tries to marry daughter
>bastard murdered by legit son
>crazy dude gets killed
>legit son dies
>last surviving heir is a retard
>be me
>have to bury my mom
>hot hot hot
>bangin qt
>why is it so hot
>mudslime tries to gang up on me
>too hot can't see
>five leads to his head fixes the sun
>get jail'd
>qt bich says she loves me but I just want that ass
>it goes it goes it goes it goes and public execution
>>8029815
le strange
>>8029837
u got it senpai
>>8028009
>be me
>be mentally ill
>be normie
>guys in suits
>the beatles
>THE WORLD IS OUT TO GET ME
>>8029874
He fucks his sister phoebe
>>8028156
my boy Nakata was the best part of that book
>be me
>be drunk
>have broken pieces of emanel instead of two front teeth
>take knife
>dig in
>pull broken shardes of teeth out so I can grab them with tweezers
>rip them out
>stich gums together
>pass out
>Fuck you Roxanne
I hate rats.
>>8029117
the first part sounds like a Poe story, but it's not that.
>>8028733
Yes
>be me, nondescript character living in a literary space
>wake up one morning
>mysterious plastic knob stuck to the back of my head
>have to face the absurdity of life
>tfw normies aren't bothered by the fact that we don't have free will
>tfw even acting in a way that is harmful to ourselves is still advantageous because it makes us think we are free
>tfw there are people living their lives earnestly
>tfw normie military guy I went to school with is having a retirement party
>tfw I'm way smarter than him and will go just to make wise ass remarks
>tfw they all hate me
>tfw that's the point
>tfw drunk fight
>tfw go different bar
>tfw convince young qt to come to my house
>tfw she comes and I just shit on her world view
>mfw
>>8029979
A book that is about 11% of my personality tbqh
>>8029313
underrated
>DUDE EXISTENTIALISM LMAO
>DUDE OBJECTIVISM LMAO
>>8029980
notes from the underground - pretty good summary, but the military retirement party line makes it too obvious
>>8030011
A book written by Ayn Rand-chan in the hopes of drawing my attention so I can fill the gap between her legs in the dark of her lonely nights.
>Frenchie with crazy brother
>Brit who hears voices
>650 pages of the history of psychiatry, with a bit of Pride and Prejudice thrown in
>be son of farmer
>life sucks
>go to university for glorious STEM
>mandatory literature course gives a glimpse of what life could be, should be, ought to be
>so seduced by this vision that you become a literature professor
>do unforgivably wrong by your friends and family because you're viewing your life through the naive eyes of an idealistic dreamer
>mentally ill cripple pisses on your academic career
>mentally ill wife spiritually rapes your daughter, turning her into an empty shell
>"w....what did I expect...."
>would probably be an SJW wienerlord in modern times
>grew up doing everything the right way
>got good education
>got good job
>got good life
>got good wife
>suddenly get pain in my side
>docs don't know what it is
>become increasingly bitter
>I'm dying
>why me?
>tfw you realize cold professionalism replaced love
>tfw all these achievements were meaningless and did nothing to improve your life
>tfw you realize your life had been going downhill since the time you were born
>tfw you realize you never had a life and your entire existence was just a slow death
>tfw it's too late now
>>8028009
source?
>>8030093
que es estos?
sounds like a good read
>>8029031
fuk i wanna sniff her sweat soaked panties after a hard workout
>>8028047
Pale horse?
>>8029979
This must be Gogol.
>come back from the front
>chilling with my wife
>her dad finds out we're married
>I find out she's been cheating on me
>Bro 4 lyfe tells me what she's been doing
>I get worked up and stab her to death
>bro lies, dies
>I'm arrested
>>8029376
Feed
>be historian
>discover a play that sounds like history
>in the play, the hero is killed by a traitor, whom is actually a hero, and the hero is actually the traitor
>the play makes me so butthurt that I join in and tell everyone the hero is the real hero
>>8030546
Now this is definitely a Borges story.
Theme of the Traitor and the Hero
>>8030093
This book fucked with me, good shit though
>>8028009
>Be rich guy
>Tried to fuck the neighbor
>Kicked out
>Run away
>Find out that a robbery caused her death
>Live life of squalor
>Find her again
>Reports of her death were exaggerated
>Lose her again to a rich man
>Continue to live in squalor
>Find her again
>We've both grown old, but she's ugly
>Hit it anyway because why not
>Make honest living as a farmer and try not to think about it
>>8028499
Nah, the bible
>be me
>one of the greatest American authors
>decide I've written enough fiction about the U.S. and its people
>time for a road trip, just my best friend and me
>name my customized and awesomely-outfitted mode of transportation after a famous fictional horse
>meet a lot of interesting people, have interesting conversations over whiskey and beer
>learn a lot about people from all walks of life, even a bit about my best bud who is accompanying me on this expedition
>contemplate what it means to be "American"
>paas through more than three dozen states total, keeping notes on what happens/who I meet along the way
>publish a book detailing the entire trip
>>8028009
yum fake tits and a fake ass yum
>be me
>be a wageslave
>normies at work always laugh at my shitty coat
>work my ass off
>finally get enough to buy new coat
>go to office party
>accosted by thugs
>they take the fucking coat
>go to the authorities
>this asshole throws me out
>get sick
>die
>come back as a ghost
>steal people's coats
>>8031112
Gogol's The Overcoat. Too easy.
>>8029711
The God delusion
>be me
>live in a castle
>qt 3.14 baroness starts giving me the eye
>we fuck
>her faggot dad kicks me out
>whatever decide to go to Portugal with two best friends
>they get executed
>fuckme.jpg
>LOL I find qt again what are the odds
>turns out she was raped by some Hungary niggers
>have idea
>"hey qt want to go to Argentina?"
>"LOL ok"
>we decide to bring along some old hag
>arrive in nigger land
>king of nigger land steals my bae
>feelsbadman.png
>decide I should befriend his enemies so I can kill him LOL
>wtf turns out my best friend is here too
>kill him lol
>get a slave
>see two girls getting raped by monkeys
>mfw
>kill the monkeys
>girls start crying
>wutface.jpg
>meet some more niggers
>they give me heaps of diamonds
>shits cash
>go to France because WHY NOT LOL
>shit country
>go to Italy
>beyond all odds, I meet my dead friends there
>at this point in just like wtf
>anyway, we decide to go get qt3.14 from earlier
>she lives with cockroaches now
>damn, bitch got ugly AF
>marry her anyway
>banish my other friend because fuck him LOL
>buy a farm
>boring as fuck
>meet some sheep fucker coming back from the city
>he tells me I just need to work and I'll be happy
>I do
>tfw all I ever really wanted was to be a peasant
>>8029980
>tfw 2x2=4
>be a lawyer
>be second of three sons
>be Russian
> be highly regarded and successful
>"I did life wrong"
>"fuck"
>die
>>8031497
candide, 2ez
>>8029741
>>8029976
top kek. jolly good work, lads
>>8028235
Useless by JJ
>>8029129
Thanks
>>8031024
Forrest Gump
>>8031097
Travels with Charlie (or whatever it was called).
>see fight club for the first time
>decide to blow up a boat and kill myself
>john lenon dies
>my dead husband's dead friend's ghost is haunting/possessing an autistic boy
>take a new age yoga course
>be 17 in college
>some psuedointellectual punks bust in on my class and shit talk the profs
>think they are cool as fuck because i am a retarded 17 year old
>eventually run into them at a bar
>tag along drinking
>get succccc from some girl who hangs out with them
>start going to her house to fuck her while her sister sleeps
>realize i haven't gone to school in a while
>go to chick's house for a blowjob
>end up getting stuffed in a car with the pseuds
>we drive into the desert and they shoot a fat old woman or something
>>8028715
Molloy
>>8032328
the body artist
>>8032338
The Savage Detectives
>be me, a child
>eat some mold, mom freaks
>mold makes me stop feeling things
>be me, a teenager, really good at sports
>friend and i try this cool drug
>it reverses the effect of the mold, now i feel loads of things but cant express them
>my dads ghost inhabits this really upright guy
>we might face off in the sports tournament
>>8032847
>be pleb poseur
>can't understand Infinite Jest so I look up retarded theories and think it is a book about mold
>be me
>be lawyer, polyglot, soldier
>work for old religious guy
>kinda useless, but what you gonna do?
>king btfo's him
>mfw ( :| )
>king sees talent in me
>asks me to help him get rid of his bitch
>mfw ( :| )
>other religious guy opposes this
>he's kinda an asshole
>i get rid of the bitch
>new bitch even worse
>plain but otherwise cool teenage chick works for the new bitch
>new bitch has other religious guy killed for treason
>mfw ( :| )
>take king to cool teenage chick's house
>he falls in love with her
>mfw ( :| )
>>8029316
Mishima??
>muh baseball
>>8028009
>aristocrat poet
>have passionate affair with married woman
>woman is a whore, runs around on me, I hate her so much
>i still love her tho ;_;
>also have gay relationships for the lulz
>brother died and was buried far away, shit was very sad but I keep dregging it up because it produces such great poetry
>write vulgar lampoons of prominent politicians
>write greatest poem about ecstasy, castration and regret in a meter so difficult (and so suited to the subject) that none of my compatriates ever even attempted to write in it after me
>write another really great poem about the marriage of a man to a goddess with a super modernist structure
>I will sodomize and facefuck you
>be me
>student pilot
>total fuckup laughing stock of academy
>taking my solo flight final at same time as normie chad thundercock
>we take off a few minutes apart.
>lose my cheat sheet on the floor of the cockpit
>totally forget what to do.
>pieces of the cockpit start falling apart due to the age of the craft.
>realize there's a fly in the cockpit with me, buzzing around
>make that two flies
>keep distracting me
>nervous as fuck but somehow make it back without any serious problems
>find out chad thundercock crashed
>mfw
>>8029247
For Whom the Bell Tolls.
>>8030373
It is. Its translated title is Gregor Berowkon.
>>8030093
>scream for three straight days
>>8033386
Underworld. Too easy.
>>8033436
Pirx
>>8029979
Berrycone. Classic.
>>8028009
>be me
>live in kek shit tier country that is literally responsible for all of my problems.
>also be ship captain.
>all of my officers think I'm basically Moses.
>We all want out of shit country.
>makeitlooklikeanaccident.jpg
>still send a letter to my boss calling him a complete fag.
>former comrades die horrible deaths trying to find me.
>mfw
>>8033622
>"find"
>be investigative journalist
>go down south to investigate a story
>get picked up by redneck cops
>they throw me in jail for smoking a dooby
>start threatening my life
>suddenly broken out of jail by mysterious terrorists
>they bring me into their yellow sumbarine
>they spend 1000 pages explaining to me how free market capitalism is totally groovy and not exploitation
>meanwhile fernando po is about to blow
>meanwhile anthrax is about to break out in las vegas
>meanwhile there is a squirrel in central park
>we go to woodstock
>i'm fucking this girl and she turns into every girl ever
>we find a giant illuminati squid
>hagbard plugs it into a computer
>mfw i realize i am in a book
>i am strange and deformed, but my mind still works.
>i want to love, but no soul will allow it
>i will explain myself in poem
>maybe i can enlighten this stupid human animal of his mortality by reminding him of Vesuvius' wrath
>be me
>ww1 starts
>hanging out in british party society
>associate with some heavies on both sides
>one of them wants to fuck me
>he gets gatted the fuck out by the other
>some years later
>chilling in italy
>meet this schizo guy at a bar
>he disappears
>riots break out
>move to germany
>hit it off with this respectable soldier type
>go to some parties with him in africa
>lose my eye in an uprising on the colony
>few years later
>shit goes down again
>meet the schizo guy's son
>he's looking at me funny
>few years later
>teaching this hot ass babe ballet
>she dies
>go to some remote island shithole
>get beat to death by kids
>few decades later some guy i've never met comes looking for me
>mfw
>joke
>without an end
>old-ass merc
>pulled out of retirement for one last mission
>cross the Spook Zone to reach Planet Asia
>friend's son can speak to devils
>go back home but home is full of exploding germans in burkhas
>activate the Spook Zone, fuck you guys
>go back to other home
>girlfriend's sister runs the place, is insane
>she turns into a bird for some reason
>all my friends die under Spook Zone-related circumstances
>win the day or something
>become king of the Spook Zone
>mary sue kid is gonna be the bad guy in the next book
>tfw there is no next book
>>8033854
infinit chest
>>8029951
I'd need my hand, my foot, my neighbor's hand, his foot, anon's hand and foot and a dragon dildo to satisfy that ass.
>>8029951
she's clearly got a good figure but it's also been photoshopped, the edge off her visible ass and all the wall behind it looks sketchy and blurred
>get hired for a job
>work so diligently i lose track of time
>work so diligently i lose my job and home
>mfw i have become a homeless walt whitman
>be in a car crash
>get transported to the future somehow
>literal socialist utopia, nobody has to work unless they want to
>unfortunately marxism won too and cuckolding is normal
>punch a guy for flirting with my qt gf
>he only responds with "are you aware you're being offensive right now?"
>be forced to either undergo therapy or expulsion
>after a long period of therapy, go visit my gf again
>she's literally in bed with the guy I punched
>leave her place and accept my new life
Few of you will get this one, I reckon.
>>8033457
It tolls for thee, we have a winrar
>go west
>go east
>go west
>go east
>go west
>go east
>go west
>go east
>go west
>go east
>go south
>go north
>i learned nothing
>mfw people are going to take this as advice
>fuckin trains mang
>muh determinism
>>8029316
Confessions of a Mask
>going home from my little pony event
>some dumb Chad finds me and my buddies
>he gives them atomic wedgies and makes our lives hell
>dumb move, he doesn't know who he's messing with
>fuck that guy up royally and make a getaway
>as we're about to escape, I turn around and brag
>he tells his bigshot daddy, and that's when the real trouble starts
>>8028009
A,B,C, and D go to a desert
>A turns into an asshole
>B turns into a pornstar
>C gets a killstreak
>D drives off into infinity
>>8033904
on the road?
>good day at work
>not going home until a long time tho
>>8034273
This sounds like a shitty fanfic
>>8034375
Given that it'sThe Odyssey, you may be right.
>>8032941
Wolf Hall?
>>8033889
BNW?
>>8028009
Here's one you fags'll never get.
>be me
>nobody
>move to florida
>get robbed
>go crazy
>black people make me uncomfortable
>move to a trailer
>smuggle some people
>they die
>give the money to cajuns
>they stab me
>die
>should've stayed at home and made a pizza
>>8034558
>haitians, not cajuns
>>8028734
should i continue? I started it but immediately returned it to the library because i thought that sending prisoners instead of scientists on the moon was fucking stupid.
>be me
>>be me
> refused entry to art school
>> accepted at art school
> live as a bum
>> learn painting at school
>got to war, miraculously survive
>>go to war, experience hell
>return from war, hate jews
>>paint
>kill 6 millions jews and kill myself
>>become art teacher
>>8031024
candide
>>8035057
Mein Kampf
>Be ultimate NEET
>Skin has turned pale as fuck from years of malnutrition and avoiding sunlight.
>See like three fucking kids in costume
>Older man creeping up behind them with a knife
>OHFUCK.jpg
>Freak out do the only thing I can grab a knife from the kitchen and stab the fucker.
>Turns out parents of one of the kids is a corrupt lawyer.
>Fucks with the crime scene to protect me.
>Get off with tampered evidence.
>>8028009
>drop out of school
>wander around
>do fuck all
>sometimes talk to this old dude
>he's probably queer
>>8033666
Illuminatus! trilogy
>be jewish yung'un
>survive holocaust
>come home, get fucked by soviets
>write a book about it
>tfw nobody gets it, that the holocaust was beautiful
>[myth of sisyphus intensifies]
>tfw write another book about it
>>8030036
stoned by jimmy waller
>>8032847
>i read the first chapter of infinite jest and now claim to have mastered it: the post
>>8035760
The catcher in the rye
>be russian young
>kill old lady
>oh shit what have i done
>>8028022
>all i ever think about is her
No one's worth this. Neither you nor her.
