I know its not very good I just needed somewhere to post it

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Anonymous
I know its not very good I just needed somewhere to post it 2016-05-30 09:08:33 Post No. 8100420
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I know its not very good I just needed somewhere to post it Anonymous 2016-05-30 09:08:33 Post No. 8100420 [Report]

Im scared of you and everyone
and wouldn’t you be overdone

The so slight so lice a linger
Tell you all right might finger
Trusting long sloppy bet
Turning Evil East Coast West

Return and chill to the western landed
for a year then re publican
in and out of rain and dry
to learn the drugs and culture why

I’m over back tight near the home that brought us in
alone, turned out, residences those for never being
borne without’

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Anonymous 2016-05-30 09:11:59 Post No.8100429
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Anonymous 2016-05-30 09:11:59 Post No.8100429 [Report]

>rhyme

not poetry

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Anonymous 2016-05-30 10:35:03 Post No.8100534
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Anonymous 2016-05-30 10:35:03 Post No.8100534 [Report]

>>8100429
what is it?

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Anonymous 2016-05-30 11:26:23 Post No.8100606
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Anonymous 2016-05-30 11:26:23 Post No.8100606 [Report]

Anyone here speaks portuguese?

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Anonymous 2016-05-30 11:33:35 Post No.8100615
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Anonymous 2016-05-30 11:33:35 Post No.8100615 [Report]

>>8100606
oui

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Anonymous 2016-05-30 11:37:26 Post No.8100619
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Anonymous 2016-05-30 11:37:26 Post No.8100619 [Report]

>>8100606
Sim, porquê?

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Anonymous 2016-05-30 11:37:42 Post No.8100620
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Anonymous 2016-05-30 11:37:42 Post No.8100620 [Report]

>>8100420
You're adhering to structure and language more than a message. Use concrete details before ever thinking about witty linguistics that don't really have weight, especially connected images that tell a story. You have an eye for interesting word play but you aren't saying anything, and poetry is all about making a statement.

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Anonymous 2016-05-30 11:39:41 Post No.8100623
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Anonymous 2016-05-30 11:39:41 Post No.8100623 [Report]

>>8100619
>>8100615
Check this please: http://affalencia.blogspot.pt/

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Anonymous 2016-05-30 13:54:00 Post No.8100776
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Anonymous 2016-05-30 13:54:00 Post No.8100776 [Report]

>>8100620
I was trying to be cryptic I guess. It all has meaning. I appreciate the critique.

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Anonymous 2016-05-30 13:55:23 Post No.8100778
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Anonymous 2016-05-30 13:55:23 Post No.8100778 [Report]

>>8100620
This is a silly question, but what kind of statement should I be aiming for?