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>be Boffer Bings
>born of honest parents in one of the humbler walks of life
>father manufactures dog oil
>mother disposes of unwelcome babies
>have assisted my father and mother in their jobs
>always have to watch out for cops opposed to my mother's business
>father's business of making dog oil less unpopular
>dog oil is actually a valuable medicine under the name Ol. can.
>mfw most plebs are so unwilling to make personal sacrifices for the afflicted that they keep their fat dogs from coming near me
>tfw I led to my parents' deaths
>it's evening
>carrying a babby's body from my mother's studio
>passing by my father's oilery factory
>see a cop
>quickly hide inside my father's oilery
>find that my father had retired for the night
>don't want to get out because cop might still be there
>see my father's vat of dogs
>throw the baby in the vat
>no one will notice
>next day my father is excited because he has a batch of the finest quality oil ever
>all the doctors had pronounced its quality
>feel guilty
>tell them the truth
>they both get pissed and prevent me from working with them
>later they decide I was right and combine their businesses
>mother moves her studio into my father's factory
>soon the public has a meeting to decide that my poor parents can't do this anymore without being met with hostility
>tfw no more unwelcome babies to make oil from
>at about midnight I peer through a window into the furnace room where my father now sleeps
>notice he's not in bed
>mfw he had made a noose
>he seems to have gone to mother's bedroom
>ohshit.jpg
>a fight breaks out and they try to kill each other
>mother ends up stabbing father
>in his last dying bit of energy, he swings them both into the boiling cauldron
>tfw I have to skip town
>go to Otumwee
>start writing this memoir