Hello /lit/,
As one of the more intelligent corners of the internet, I wanted to share some thoughts with you, so that you could either expand upon or rubbish them with your learnedness and erudition.
One of the big reasons we strive for self-improvement - or, indeed, strive to create great works of art - is to appear attractive to the opposite sex, to make ourselves more worthy of the affection of others. The /r9k/ mentality is often rebutted by merchants of personal growth, people who advise the loveless and allegedly unlovable to go to the gym, start reading more, or do some other such salutary activity that will make them more romantically and/or sexually desirable.
I've been reading a lot on the Matching Hypothesis, which states, to quote Wikipedia, "that people are more likely to form and succeed in a committed relationship with someone who is equally socially desirable"[1]. This assertion is then backed up by quite a range of studies, all employing varying methodologies and arriving at (pretty much) the same conclusion: we're better off with those who share our 'social worth' (physical attractiveness being the main ingredient here).
All very well, you might say, but surely we should aspire to make ourselves have more social worth so as to find and flourish in a relationship with a 'better' partner?
The thing is, when you 'fall' for someone, whatever they were both (i.e. a 6/10, to use the tried-and-tested scale) they instantly shoot up to what is effectively a 10. You might objectively recognize that they are still a 6.5, but for all intents and purposes they're now a 10. This thought came to when I realized that the three girls I've had proper feelings for in my life have all been of a similar level of attractiveness, and that this might be more than a mere coincidence, and that I'm probably the equivalent thereof in male terms. What's more, when I had feelings for each of these girls, they were the only person I wanted to be with - no substitute, even if objectively possessing more social worth, would have done.
What's the point, then, in striving to make ourselves more attractive to the opposite sex? The Matching Hypothesis is the great leveler, ensuring the propagation of the human species by giving even the most hideous of our race the capacity to find and be happy with someone else.
tl;dr: self-improvement for the sake of romance is pointless, 'cus the Matching Hypothesis sorts us all out in the end.
[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matching_hypothesis
>>8059847
>One of the big reasons we strive for self-improvement - or, indeed, strive to create great works of art
>is to appear attractive to the opposite sex, to make ourselves more worthy of the affection of others.
Stopped reading right there. Reply and explain why I should give your low-effort thread another chance.
>One of the big reasons we strive for self-improvement
maybe the nerds on your autist board do this.
>you might objectively recognize that they are still a 6.5, but for all intents and purposes they're now a 10
this is some stupid ass idea. what if she hits and steals your money? your entire retard theory is based off the idea that once you get a girl you'll be happy, without considering the fact that she could break your heart.
>>8059847
Tbh I like to think lifting and reading is for me, but my ultimate goal is good house, good kids, good life, good job And so i somewhat agree all self done stuff is for the grills.
But There is no greater feeling than feeling self accomplishment, so we also do it to give ourselves a pat on the back. Anyway what thw fuck do i know i havent accomplished anything in my life
>>8059857
Subconsciously everything we do is for the opposite sex.
>>8059864
The Matching Hypothesis maintains that relationships are more successful when there is a parity of social worth between the two individuals involved, so once you've got the girl, sure, things might turn to shit, but there's less of a chance of them turning to shit if there's a equilibrium between the two of you.
>>8059877
What about suicide
>that influx of /fit/ and /r9k/ in /lit/ these last couple of days
Please go back to your respective boards; you're degrading the quality of this board.
Sage & Report
>>8059887
What no greater feeling or for the opposite sex
>>8059893
"Show myself an active able man for any kind of bodily exercises.and the i gave over to the study of rhetoric and poetry and of eloquent neat language"
Marcus Aurelius
Get /fit/ get /lit/ m8
>>8059847
Sounds like the ramblings of someone who is lonely.
>One of the big reasons we strive for self-improvement - or, indeed, strive to create great works of art - is to appear attractive to the opposite sex, to make ourselves more worthy of the affection of others.
This would mean that once we have the opposite-sex (or same-sex depending on your orientation), what is your motivation for self-improvement afterwords? Does self-improvement end when you get a girlfriend?
Secondly, your mindset is based on the assumption of your own lonely self. There are many people in history who do things for reasons other than impressing the opposite sex. Do you think the Wright brothers invented a flying machine that was heavier than air to get laid? They were already married by the time Kitty Hawk came around.
if you're attempting self-improvement for the sake of getting laid you have already lost. besides, the idea that men only seek to improve themselves in order to attain puss is demonstrably false
>>8059857
This.
>implying I haven't long given up hopes of romantic/sexual contact
>implying I haven't taken my personal hobbies to extents so autistic as to render them no longer appealing, but weird and foreign to women
>implying women aren't thrilled by mediocrity
>implying actual pursuit of excellence isn't terrifying and off-putting to women with their inevitably half-hearted interests
>>8059847
>tons of artist/writers/philosophers that died virgins or hardly had any relationships
I think you might have a problem with your argument.
>One of the big reasons we strive for self-improvement - or, indeed, strive to create great works of art - is to appear attractive to the opposite sex,
Seriously, just delete this. It's pathetic.
>>8059847
Well first of all, a person can only "fall" for another person after some initial attraction has been established, which requires you or the other person to have attractive qualities.
I would agree that most of the time, for most people, "self improvement" (in the sense of going to the gym, learning more, getting more money, etc) is done for the sake of being attractive to the opposite sex, but this motivation is far from universal. So, I really don't know exactly what your point is. Are you saying that there is no purpose to self improvement because it isn't necessary for love to establish itself? Because if so, you're vastly underestimating the diversity of human motivation.
lol op getting
B T F O
T
F
O
ahahahahahhahahahah what a faggot
how do i find out my level and where do i find girls of the same caliber?
>>8061414
well i would start w the women in your home room
>>8061418
i'm no longer in school
>>8061429
don't let that stop you sunny boi
>>8059958
>>no longer appealing, but weird and foreign to women
>implying women don't like mysterious, talented, and deep men
literally the most attractive thing to women is someone who has so many things to do that he cannot be bothered with her problems
you're well on your way to becoming a very desirable man
you're becoming a, in /r9k/ vernacular, Chad
>>8059847
>I read books to impress girls
What are you, some kinda faggot?
In the wild humans will straight up rape and kill each other with no real sentiment or motivation.
They don't fall in love or question their own value based on their social status.
Romantic and plutonic relationships are either latently purely practical in aiding survival/prosperity, or they're a delusion and based in the participants desire to embody an image or live out a narrative.
100% posturing and signalling.
Why not just bang whores?
It may not be glamorous but at least it's honest.
>>8061445
yes but there's nothing attractive about a nerd you never meet because he's locked up inside his home all day long. checkmate normie
on topic: i've played guitar for 7 years and 99% of the time nobody has heard me play but me.
>>8059877
>Subconsciously everything we do is for the opposite sex.
subconsciously everything you do is for the opposite sex, not me
>>8061462
not until u do something with it baby
u gonna slay that pussy like james holmes slays batman fans
>>8061462
all you gotta do is believe in the skills your developing and be able to talk about them at the most basic level in an aloof way
do that and you're in there like swimwear
just remember: be asked, don't tell
>>8061460
I like u
>>8059847
>One of the big reasons we strive for self-improvement - or, indeed, strive to create great works of art - is to appear attractive to the opposite sex
but what if you like dick OP
>>8061566
then u count your blessings and try to mend the relationship w your father
>>8061566
for some people the opposite sex has dick
Social status has little to do with looks. As you improve yourself, your social worth grows - you feel more confident about your accomplishments and that confidence bleeds into many aspects of your social persona. Your mind and body are a stand-in for the public "you", you represent a mental image of "you". You are the totality of perceptions of you, a vague definition that you can influence with self-improvement. Thus, according to the matching hypothesis, you gain access to more desireble women, right?
There's only one way to get girls - talking to them, letting them know you're romantically interested. Seriously, you have most likely missed out on dozens of opportunities just by being inactive
Improving for the others, or rather, for their impression of you, have always left me disapointed and later, demotivated. When I realised this I started to evaluate the reasons I act the way I do. And I found that I don't care about anything at all, I mainly do things to keep up my standard of living, and to kill time. I guess this actually proves your point, or it might be that I'm slightly depressed.
Now I mostly try to avoid the whole "woe is me", self-pity is just detrimental. I believe that I still can be happy, given the right circumstances.
>>8061638
>for some people
being very liberal w the term 'people' there buddy
>>8059958
>>implying I haven't taken my personal hobbies to extents so autistic as to render them no longer appealing, but weird and foreign to women
This. They are after a hipster with a few literary affectations. Not a weirdo with monomania.
>>8061460
>In the wild humans will straight up rape and kill each other with no real sentiment or motivation.
uh, not 100% of the time, rendering the rest of your post useless. if that wasnt enough, why do you care what other people do? sure, go bang whores your entire life. did you think anybody gave a shit?
>>8059847
>(physical attractiveness being the main ingredient here)
Only if we talk about extremes. Unless you're hideously ugly or extremely hot, it's a very small factor.
>You might objectively recognize that they are still a 6.5, but for all intents and purposes they're now a 10.
Sounds like you're just easy to please.
>tl;dr: self-improvement for the sake of romance is pointless
Self improvement for the sake of romance is only necessary when you're a r9k tier neckbeard, a normal person will indeed have no problems to find a mate eventually.
I don't exactly get the point of all of this given your faulty premise. Specially for artists, self improvement isn't just a mean to end but a very satisfying process. Besides, any kind of self improvement ... improves your own life beyond romance.
Did anyone in this thread ever hear of Freud?
>>8059847
>/lit/
>As one of the more intelligent corners of the internet
anon pls, tell us something we don't know.
