The other crit thread hasn't yet hit its bump limit but i know that once a crit thread reaches over 200 posts there rises this anxiety in us that no one will read our posts and will only check out the ones closer to the top or the posts with the most replies. This is true for me at-least.
Heres mine anyway. Its called Raping Her Heinrich.Edgy i know.
If your gonna crit, ignore the spelling, grammar and punctual errors because the application i use is traysh and it doesnt gimme the old red/green squiggeld line under wrong words or phrases
http://pastebin.com/VbzJkX8k
>>7990598
Note also that the paragraphs haven't been finalized and its a mile from being complete. i just want to show off i suppose
I suppose I'll repost this here.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1mQjaWKcEC6s6Ewv5hKekcSLD1EqJ8HufhmpB-DDYlHM/edit?usp=sharing
Very early draft for the prologue of the novel I'm currently working on. It's fantasy genre fiction shite, and it's almost 6000 words, just a fair warning for those that wouldn't want to read something like that. let me know of any errors regarding spelling/grammar/awkward sentences/tense/syntax/whatever else. General impression will also be appreciated
>>7990598
> Out of the frosted windows of that cold broken hotel, On the streets of stomping rubber and squeaking leather.
Incomplete sentence, I know you said ignore grammar but autism kicked in.
I'm enjoying the general imagery though, does a good job of putting me there.
>Well he slips on the ice and cracks his neck and spine off the floor, almost knocked his self unconscious but nevertheless he sat up on his hunkers, sobbed, tryed to push the pain that was radiating from his crown and his backbone back inside his skull and back and when there was no avail he just lay there and stared up in despair.
Sounds kind of awkward, maybe it's just me though.
