Post opening lines of the next great American novel.
>>7956343
"When I was six years old I asked my friend's dad to wipe my ass."
Cuck Mulligan clucked lewdly.
Call me cis male.
People say I make strange choices, but they’re not strange for me. My sickness is that I’m fascinated by human behavior, by what’s underneath the surface, by the worlds inside people.
I'm writer
The fact that women have vaginas fucks me up daily.
After several intensely long moments of concentration, he carefully unplugged his hoselike cock from his own asshole sending an undulating curtain of piss down his legs, hed done it, after 40 years of study and training he'd finally peed in own asshole
>>7956393
You should be explicating this truth through actions of your character, imagine someone really saying or thinking that to themselves coherently.
大抵 の イズム とか 主義 とかいう もの は 無数 の 事実 を 几帳面 な 男 が 束 に し て 頭 の 抽出 へ 入れ やすい よう に 拵え て くれ た もの で ある。
>>7956438
lol
"One time I sucked a black dick, cum in my throat made me sick."
I don't like going for a poo sometimes because i know when i wipe i cant get all the poo even with wet wipes cus its like when i later sit down and start to sweat i get a poopy butt a gen and its dirty and i cant help it so i need to wipe a few hours later even when i dont need to poo, and they rode on.
He bought the burger from the burger shop and ate the burger and clapped, "thank you, God's country" and cried a little before he rode his mobility scoot-scoot down the road.
THAT MOMENT WHEN UR WIT UR CREW N U ALL ON POINT
Cuck meme a e s t h e t i c . john green u U U u
S0crat3z maneuvered his hyperpad into the digiportal. "We're going to do a world jump!" he exhaled, trying to remember the last episode of The Six Million Dollar Man, the key to Aloysius Naruto's amazing cyberpuzzle. S0crat3z glimpsed at his shining white skin and male body. Here in the cyberzone, no one could call him an otherkin nigger. He'd reclaimed his privilege.
Donald Byrnes smiled on the material of his glut, unaware of the horrible death which would soon be his. 600 feet below, and 60 due west, a mailman thought of beautiful women, his dreams all haunted by she-ghosts, his bags containing (inexhaustively) Byrne's mail, a vibrator, an envelope with some freebase or other soon to be in the possession of Byrnes Jr., a bilingual edition of the Dead Sea Scrolls, and an invitation to a wedding that would never occur.
Sunset found her squatting in the grass, groaning.
>>7956343
It was the best of times, it was the best of times.
It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times.
>>7956472
too close to home fampai
My earliest recollections of things sexual are of what I think must have occurred some time between my age of five and eight years. I tell of them just as I recollect them, without attempt to fill in what seems probable.
...
>>7956472
> tfw I know this feel
The sheer purity of the plan, it's crystalline beauty, had entranced her, and she had willingly drug herself through depredations and humiliations, just to stand at this watershed moment she always knew would come: Ponyville was going to burn.
I'm CIA
>>7956420
Weird advice / 10
>Seriously, Nabokov, "Light of my life, fire of my loins"? Imagine someone really saying or thinking that to themselves coherently!
I slept for a long time and then i slept some more, till one cloudy day a prick rang the bell in my red, wooden door.
why do people like butts they stinky
>>7956673
This. The future of literature will be minimalist.
>>7956343
話說美國曾經是富國,曾經是強國,曾經是大國。哈!
the midnight glow of the computer monitor is the only light in the room
remember when dogs could shart latin listen non noh kabuki kook gookies shamble cham driddle poor piss-man's working theatre class, terrible reviews in local revues publications embarrassing exterior region anti-proximity alarm viewership drunken snobbery, but it's alas the hoighty-toity motherfucker doctor asinine of assholes full of shit: a critic cannot do.
english is a dead language
Let me start this novel candidly: I don't care about niggers, and neither should you.
>>7956379
Underrated.
>>7956553
The next Pynchon has been born .
>>7956379
severely underrated
"and but so I must go, my people need me", and there he hung, swaying from the rafters, cicadas singing a farewell song, only to fall upon deaf ears.
When I was 10 years old my mother told me know was black, at the time I thought she was joking, but now, at the age of 28, and after my retinal surgery, I know she was.
>>7957030
lel
"Michael was a NEET who browsed internet image boards"
Ayo hol up so you be sayin we was kangz an shieet?
Be me.
After my daily three hour long black dick sucking session, I had to go to the social office to turn in all my earnings.
>>7956379
>>7958601
dat clever wordplay
>>7958529
Nah man it's:
>be me
>>7956343
So I fondle this man's ball once. Of course, I tied him up and down before doing that. Having a man playing with your ball is not something you wake up for, of course.
I knew from the beginning that his father is the rule by which a man judges himself.
His penis became his arm. So, he double-fisted her.
>>7956343
>Make American Novels Great Again
When it's quite enough to hear yourself think, should you listen?
>>7956379
absolut fantastisch
What lil shawty say?? She suck on that dick on the plane and I just call her airhead
I just went hunting, I found me a rabbit and pick up the carrots
Prologue:
Dear Constant Reader...
>>7958722
I like this, but there's something clumsy about it that I can't point out.
here i sit same as ever took a dump pulled the lever the toilet clogged the water flowed look out world it's the motherload
>>7958722
The first lesson I learned was that the father is the standard which a man holds himself.
>>7959191
>would not read
>kys snorelax
>>7959209
OK I MAKE BETTERS
The first lesson I learned was that the father is the standard which a man holds himself.
This is my story on how my father inspired me to take up his mantle. And is name was Geoffrey Leonard.
The skies grow dark and heavy
And our sugar houses are not ready
One day it's gonna rain.
One day it's gonna rain.
>>7959221
Take it easy. Sheesh.
>>7959232
Did you think I was being serious? No harm bratha.
You'd think that if you put out enough books you're bound to have a diamond in the rough eventually. But then ask yourself, "did I ever shit out a diamond?"
Dear Reader: Stop.
>>7959242
Sweet. I'm not a writer, but I feel like it should be "to which," as in holding himself to a standard. Idk though. U do u senpai.
>>7959247
Dear reader, I wrote the book and even I knew to just steal it 4free on the Internet, dumbass. ...Thanks for paying for my sweet house though.
>>7959253
Yous right.
It's sink or swim on this little blue planet. But in the end, we all end up on the bottom.
I had a friend who could burn a hole through drywall with his farts. This is his tale.
>>7959088
Oh, I know! It should be "one's father".
Vengeance burns in my soul. I know I'll be consumed by its flame; I welcome it. I'll get you, clichés... I'LLL GETTT YOUUUU!!!
>>7959282
Ayy it works.
>I used to shit my pants when I was a kid. I grew up and learned better. Now I don't wear pants.
You ever punch a man in the dick? It feels good, visceral.
She was so pretty. I was in love the moment I first laid eyes on her. My heart fluttered gaily in my chest as she smiled and said, "I'm cliché bb. U want sum fuk boi?"
as the feces fell on my face, i felt alive. i felt free.
>>7959293
I think I threatened to punch someone in the dick in this thread. Kek.
>>7959301
CHOCOLATE RAIN!
Some stay dry and orhers feel the pain.
CHOCOLATE RAIN!!
Don't misunderstand me: no, I could not kill a man, but it isn't out of some false sense of empathy. I would not kill a man out of the gnawing fear that one day the man could have contributed something bigger to humanity, bigger than himself, and even if it was just a clever remark that it was worth listening to.
The only downside to death is dying
-edge kid
#too sharp 4 ya?
>>7959261
Dear Reader: My Sweet House.
410,757,864,530 DEAD COPS
>>7959309
Nah. Fuck that Metallica had it right with Kill 'Em All.
My mind was split between continuing my escape from the law or letting loose right into my pants but either way you look at it, I gots ta' runs
I have cancer. I am a woman. I wrote a book. Give me money. (Saved tou about 300 pages of incoherent babbling right there.)
Candy and treats,
Vans and meats,
Hello junior,
Have a seat.
>>7959323
fuck no.
>>7959337
BEAR ALEART !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There was a big ol fuckin splosion in rhe sky and people were screaming and running. That shit was crazy man. You should have been there. The end.
>>7959344
Diddly dee,
Do you have to pee?
Just come to my mouth,
And I'll suck down south!
"Touch it, please, i'm dying here", my half-brother-turned-sister pleaded. He - or she now, i suppose - had been obsessed with me and my crooked genitalia ever since our communal baths had abruptly ended due to the fact that we both had long entered puberty, and it is, I've been told, generally frowned upon for siblings of our age to engage in such matters that might, perhaps in a strangers eyes, seem like something that it is not, mainly something to do with incest, and in this particular case the stranger would've been completely right in saying that the business with my half-brother-turned-sister is in fact, incest, although we share no common ancestry, but who's to say where the line of abomination is drawn, especially when she still had his (or her) boy-bits attached.
>>7959435
another YA porno, loli, incest, fag shit. Go kill yourself or something.
>>7959444
i was only making fun of that crap m8
>>7956369
This is genuinely a line from Ulysses for those not yet inducted into the service of the Meme Triumvirate.
>>7959449
ilikedit...
>>7959460
thank you anon.
My dad came into the shower, grinning. He asked me if I needed any help. I smiled, became aroused and ejaculated with a few squeezes of his hand. He hugged me, and jerked off, and we were in love.
>>7956348
i like this for some reason.
>>7959482
It's a topic from an /r9k/ thread a few days back.
>>7956348
Did he wipe it with his penis?
"I am writer."
>>7956379
damn
>>7956556
underrated
Keep reading, I'll be right back.
My dad once told me "There's more things in life than weed son" fuck that faggot ass loser bitch#period
>>7956343
It was 2022 and the year of the second holocaust.
After spending 10 minutes clawing shit out of my ass, I realized that I should probably stop eating q-tips.
I always promised myself the first sentence of my magnum opus would somehow cleverly include meth ;).
What are the emoji grammar rules of the future
Boт тaк и пaлa нeкoгдa вeликaя дepжaвa Ивaн. Cпacибo Tpaмпy.
>>7956343
It all started so randomly.
Scenesters and one offs collected their guilt as the proto-crypto bled his own blood and roared "get in where ya fit in buds".
The hero exists for as long as you don't think about it.
>>7956379
There's an old world romance in personifying the ismss and ist's....
It was a dark and stormy night.
I have a certain, irrational hatred of black people. Well, okay. Not irrational.
>>7956343
Ass 'n titties, ass, ass and tiddies.
I can't stop thinking
At the end of a cigarette otherwise saved for tomorrow, she looked at the mess she had made of herself, a 21st century, free woman.
>>7961331
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SY_I0ubL6E0&t=193
>>7956343
"Dogs were the first living beings to make it to outer space, so dogs are the superior species", Rover countered Lawson, who to this day wishes his talking dog would shut the fuck up.
"Bismillah al-Rahman al-Rahim"
"Oh yeah, he's cool."
"Are you being sarcastic?"
"I can't even tell anymore"
>>7963212
>>7963234It's a quote from the simpsons
>>7956343
ey ese
"Well ladies," Jimmy Carter said, "I'm a peanut farmer. If you catch my drift."
>>7957030
now I be cry
>>7956343
Memes. The dankest memes. Not the ones that make you laugh for a while. The ones that keep you up at night.
'From a little after two oclock until almost sundown of the long still hot weary dead September afternoon they sat in what Miss Coldfield still called the office because her father had called it that—a dim hot airless room with the blinds all closed and fastened for forty-three summers because when she was a girl someone had believed that light and moving air carried heat and the dark was always cooler, and which (as the sun shone fuller and fuller on that side of the house) became latticed with yellow slashes full of dust motes which Quentin thought of as being flecks of the dead old dried paint itself blown inward from the scaling blinds as wind might have blown them.'
i wa gonn lie 2 u but i ha 2 tell th truth i'm jus bean unnist
[void]
My novel isn't going to have an opening line because it's not going to have any words. 1023 blank pages.
>>7962307
This sounds like the start to a Morrison comic
>>7956379
Holy shit
No one tells you the thing you love most will be the thing that kills you.
There are consequences for violating the sanctity of a dead boys ass.
>>7965106
Horrible
>>7956379
Do it.
>>7965112
Gold
>>7956343
I'm not telling you shit.
>>7956505
1000 copies sold to Reddit, etc.
>>7965288
Fuck you newfag frog posting
>>7956343
Donald Trump. The tanned lion of a new America, an America that shouts goodbye to the fathers. All raise their shovels high for the President, in honor of an unsure future. Ercole switched off the screen and sighed.
>>7963654corncobby
Modest proposals are the ones without prose.
During these long nights, the prussian visage of the wind blows her cool breaths across the shapes and organs of my anatomy,
unleashing upon my skin a dead Christmas.
>>7965640
>the prussian visage of the wind
It's only two steps from this to trying to invade Poland anon
>>7965655
Haha, I meant the color, not the country.
>>7956343
Boy Pussy
