>Why do you hate me /lit/?
>>7870116
get out of here old man
A cliche in every sentence. The only writer I've ever had a more allergic reaction to is Dan Brown. I love genre fiction but King just plain can't write. I wonder if people who love him aren't bugged by cliches or just don't notice them.
>>7870116
You write shitty tomes of scat and scares.
Meaningless. Drivel.
On how many pages have been mentioned the "hairs growing from the edges of her areolas?" How many magic negros? How many telepathic children? How many readers defiled? How many bookshelves groaning under the weight of your ignominious collection?
>>7870124
What was your problem with my buddy Brown?
>>7870136
You have an issue with hairy nipples?
>>7870141
Brown's writing on a sentence level is significantly worse even than King's. His sentences are not merely cliche-ridden, they are completely unedited, and the worst ones are borderline not even English. I would go more into the fact that "Renowned curator" are maybe the worst two words ever used to begin a novel, but it's already been done better than I could ever do it: http://itre.cis.upenn.edu/~myl/languagelog/archives/000844.html
>>7870136
which book was hairy nipples?
don't remember that
>>7870208
most of these criticisms are awful
you can shit on dan brown for a lot of things but the asinine way it was done here does a disservice to the whole endeavour
>>7870116
I don't hate you, I just don't like your writing and don't have any interest in reading it.
I don't hate him. Some of his books are great. Some are god-awful too, but whatever, just pretend those don't exist.
>>7870116
I don't hate you. I like a lot of your books, even if they have flaws.
reminder Bloom blew him the FUCK OUT
He's a shitlib.
>>7870116
/lit/ is jealous of your skills.
>i still love you desu <3
>>7870244
Who's that and how?
>>7870239
I disagree. "A voice spoke" is just plainly incorrect English. This stuff is unforgivable and it's on every single goddamn page. I read the whole book. I wish I had kept a list of all the worst sentences - it was a horror show.
>>7870258
How?
>>7870261
If you don't understand the reason why "a man spoke" is correct but "a voice spoke" is not I can't help you. If that one's too much of a nitpick for you, surely you must understand why "a thundering gate" is fucking atrocious writing.
>>7870285
"A voice spoke" is absolutely fine you cockmuncher.
>a thundering gate
You'd be fawning over this if it was from Blake, but I'm guessing context isn't in King's favor
>>7870351
You're right, I only think Blake is a better writer than Dan Brown for the social status.
>>7870285
l'autisme
>>7870124
I like how Alan Wake made fun of him a bit
>>7870116
I don't hate you.
You've created a couple of very enjoyable stories though none are particularly deep, you seem like a decent guy, and you don't hold any delusions about your work being these great thought-provoking masterpieces. You're just a guy that likes to tell stories.
I don't love you either but you've got my respect.
Because your face is weird and your tiny glasses make your tiny eyes look even tinier.
He literally looks like a Who from the Grinch movie.
>>7870116
Teach me how to make $400 million dollars by writing.
His political views would make for a good horror book.
>>7870256
Here's a clue: stick your head in a westward cannon
I'm going to make it my mission in life to never read a Stephen King book. Who's with me?
>>7871048
Wouldn't call it a mission but I happen to have never read any of his books and it's incredibly unlikely that I ever will by now, so... okay?
Any writer who makes tons of money is god tier patrician.
he makes horror books that are actually good and makes a fuck ton of money
why h8
>>7871048
No one is with you. Give him a fucking try you fucking pleb. Form your own opinion about him.
geez Louise my man
>>7871048
Never used the word autistic as an insult before but this warranted it
>>7870351
Voices don't speak. They are heard. They make sound. People speak. Mouths speak. Voice is what happens when something is spoken. This shit ain't hard.
Sure, you can use "voice" to mean something more abstract, like someone's political opinion or whatever. But even then it tends to refer to someone's style, like saying "Brown's writing voice is fucking awful".
Of course, you can forgive a writer for something like this. Taking apart a few words in an otherwise fine paragraph could be presented as nitpicking. But if it's par for the course, it's not nitpicking, it's a structural problem.
>>7870116
He's what I've always wished I could be, but with much less interesting stories. Seriously, I'm half-expecting his next book to be 'the Lizardman in the Fridge'. He has these asinine ideas and then doesn't develop any further from them.
>>7870116
Because he looks exactly like the cunt head of department that kicked me out of uni for not attending his boring lectures.
>>7870116
11/22/1963, mother fucker
>>7871310
I'm sorry, John Kasich.
