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You are currently reading a thread in /lit/ - Literature

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Does this seem "Professional" enough?

"Good morning, I am Noah Blum for FOX Charllote and Today's top story is the crash of two Air Force jets just east of Morganton."

The screen changed to several scenes of a crater with debris and emergency vehicles around it.

"Last night around 1 AM, two F-15 Eagles from Seymore Johnson Air Force Base in Goldsboro plummetted from the sky, one landed in a large horse pasture, killing two animals, and the other landed in one of Morganton's parks, which was abandoned at the time. Early reports are saying that both aircraft crashed about two minutes apart from each other,The Air Force released an official statement, stating that both pilots safely ejected from the fighters after losing control while performing training maneuvers near the Burke County city."

The show cut to a woman with a microphone held in her face. "We where asleep when all we heard was this loud explosion and the ground shook." The interviewee said. "I ran outside to see and I could only see this fire burning in the park and you could hear stuff falling from the sky. My first thought was 'Oh my god terrorists have set off a car bomb.'"

The video returned to the anchor in the newsroom. "Other eye witnesses report that they saw the aircraft still in the air and firing weapons. The Air Force reaffirms us that the planes were not armed and it was only a training exercise. The FAA tells us that the Air Force is responsible for conducting a thorough investigation of the accident but no commercial flights can expect interruptions in the area. We'll be bringing you more from this story as it becomes available so stay tuned to FOX Morning News, Charlotte."
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>>7850262
t. cuck
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>>7850262
It's too professional, and not showy enough, especially not for daytime news, and *especially* not for FOX.
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>>7850733
How would you say it could be improved. I want it to sound right but not be horribly long.
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>>7850262

We seriously need a board on 4chan dedicated to creative writing.

Theres enough of these threads to warrant it.
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>>7850801
I would be down with that. Good luck getting it to happen.
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>>7850779
Why is length such a great factor in this? A good introduction is key to a piece, and in this case giving voice to things in a way that isn't stilted and more in line with what people are used to in our world will help you with that.
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>>7850801
/lit/ is slow enough to have several critique threads but they should all be posted in the general
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>>7850733
this.
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>>7850801
ye please i just want to discuss literature and literary theory, not read some gay ass "creative writing" shit from wannabes
Thread replies: 10
Thread images: 1

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