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Would anyone mind having a read on my introduction for an essay?
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Would anyone mind having a read on my introduction for an essay?
The essay is on whether the American Revolution was a revolution or not.

The American War of Independence, or the American Revolution, as it is otherwise - and, as will be established in this essay, inaccurately - known as, is an event that has inspired a rich historiography, with the subject of discourse often regarding whether it truly was a revolution. There have been neo-Whig scholars who have been convinced that the War of Independence was a progressive, radical movement, with far reaching social upheaval – a complete social transformation; such is the view of Gordon S. Wood in The Radicalism of the American Revolution (2014). Although Neil Davidson does argue that radical and irreversible change is indeed a qualification for a movement to be hailed as a revolution (p. 10, 2012), he does not agree with Wood that the American Revolution fits this qualification, dismissing it as merely a political movement, and one that did not alter the social fabric of the colonies (p. 59, 2012). While there are those who argue that by simply overhauling the political framework of the American colonies, the War of Independence was therefore a revolution, a political revolution – as defined by Hal Draper, one that emphasizes ‘changes in governmental leadership and forms, transformations in the superstructure’ (pp. 19-20, 1978). Nevertheless, for the purpose of this inquiry, the concept of bourgeois revolution will be the theory used to reach a conclusion in regards to whether the Revolutionary War deserves to be categorized as a revolution. However the judgment that it was not a revolution is one that is abundantly clear, as evidenced by the Revolutionary War’s lack of impact on the development of capitalism, the contradictions of the promises of the constitution with what was the reality for ethnic minorities and women, as well as …………..

(ellipses represent other factors of why the revolution was not a revolution).
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>>7844855
f a g g o t

Don't you dare finish this fucking essay

A revolution can still be a revolution if it doesn't slide into an anti-aristocratic hellhole. Get your Leftist shit away from my Washington, ethnic minorities and women are not talked about in the constitution, since "minorities" are subhuman slaves and women are not men.
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>>7845357
you are mad online
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>>7845365
You are gay in real life
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>>7844855

its boring, i feel bad they make you quote a bunch of people and disagree with them.
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>The American War of Independence, or the American Revolution, as it is otherwise - and, as will be established in this essay, inaccurately - known as, is an event that has inspired a rich historiography, with the subject of discourse often regarding whether it truly was a revolution

You're taking far too long to get to the point here. Just tell them that it was a War of Independence not a revolution.
I'd also put my points in front of the sources, your argument looks more original that way.
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sentence 1: remove the second "as"
sentence 2: i would use a comma instead of the em dash
sentence 4: remove the "while" from the beginning, add "also" or after "are" or "too" after "there"
also just fix the sentence structure here in general, it feels gross to me

also maybe talk about Articles of Confederation? I feel like those are more relevant to discussing the revolution that the Constitution, especially pre-Bill of Rights
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