the most insane fucking genius book ever written.
The World Is A Stage! The world is like a giant play, written by and watched by God for His own personal entertainment. Just because there is a scientific explanation for everything, that doesn't mean there is no such thing as God. We are all God's toys, His playthings. God makes us build things, He has a few laughs, He watches us evolve. God is in complete control, but God is in control of people. God cannot make the human race act out of character, but He can create the characters that He needs to steer the human race in certain directions. God speaks to us all, I can teach you to listen to Him and to follow His plan for your life. This is the new religion for the 21st Century.
Post a download link and I'll read it.
Whats the link for your Kickstarter, Mikey?
>>7707231
Hi Mikey. Give me a free copy and I'll read it.
Consider making a better cover. The picture is fine but the title and the author text are shit.
So my cunning disguise didn't work? Funny that. Seriously, I've been working on this for fourteen years. You can get it from all major ebook retailers, but I'd recommend smashwords. It's free everywhere except Amazon forced me to charge for it. The spamguard won't let me post a link. Tell your friends.
>>7707231
i'll try to give it a read.
i always have wondered how people on this board write.
congrats on finishing something.
I take your criticisms re: the font, but I'm very happy with the image.
>>7707742
Thanks for the congratulations. It's been no small feat.
>>7707750
You shouldn't be; its shit. Its how i can tell youre strictly self published - shitty cover.
Go shill elsewhere you hack.
>>7708137
Dude. You haven't even read it. You don't know how good it is. Lose the anger. It's unnecessary. Fourteen years of philosophy. What's that all about anyway? What have you written lately?
maybe it owns but the cover looks like something amanda palmer made in microsft publisher 97
>>7707231
Dude, what the fuck? Is this some sort of double secret irony? No one would sincerely present this high school creative writing project on /lit/ of all places. I don't believe it. I'm so confused.
>>7708983
Ha ha, fair enough. I'm not much of an artist. Anger just seems so unnecessary. I don't know what I did to offend that guy's sensibilities.
>>7709006
Mate, it's not a high school creative writing project. It's a theory of religion, a story of schizophrenia and a theory of time, gravity and the infinite Universe. It'sa take of madness and discovery. I'm sorry my cover isn't to your liking. Geez.
>>7709006
Criticised by another person who hasn't read it.
>>7709006
bruv imma let you in on a secret
this dude is brutally autistic and actually thinks hes smart and creative
but what he is really doing in taking ancient ideas maybe even an archetype running them through his autistic filter of a brain draining all subtlety and philosophical value in the process
hes pretty much chris chan
im sure Joshep Campbell would have a lot to say about Sonichu
Reported for shilling.
> couldn’t stop thinking about my new universe theory, I lay in bed imagining the
universe in my mind, seeing universes within universes, big bangs within big bangs, stars
being created, gravity sucking them all back together. I was virtually comatose, an infinite
series of explosions had detonated in my mind!
I started developing my ideas, of course I didn’t really know anything about physics, but
that didn’t stop me from thinking I did. I wrote it all out, and I dropped it in all of the
neighbour’s letter boxes. I felt like Homer Simpson in the episode where he has the crayon
removed from his brain and he tells Flanders “while working on my taxes I accidentally
proved there’s no God” and he’s putting the flyers around town. I felt like I had disproved
the existence of God, now that science can explain the origin of the universe there is no need
for God! I also posted it to Stephen Hawking, I thought “Stephen Hawking will love to hear
about this” and I eagerly awaited his reply.
>>7708963
About five short stories received well by the people I've sent them too - two of which being strangers from another country. But this is irrelevant as i am not the one trying to gain a readership (right now anyway).
I am simply stating that every self published book I see on here or anywhere displays an incredibly shitty cover that immediately tells me two things about the effort: unprofessional and amateurish.
What happened to the minimalist trio of font, position and colour?
Your image is also cheap and bought off a website since you were too lazy to pay an artist to create what you envision. You cant be arsed to spend money or time making a decent cover? Why should i spend time reading someone who doesnt care about the look of their art?
>>7709072
Please tell me this isnt an extract.
>>7709126
Yes it is an extract, there's worse shit in there, the reference section is gold tho. On the last page there's a giant picture of his leg or something like that for some reason.
OP not to offend you but do you have some sort of mental illness?
This guy should write manuals for Temple Os
>>7709152
>there's a giant picture of his leg or something like that
This is too real.
Really liked what you've written, OP! Here's my favorite excerpt:
All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first, the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms.
Then the whining schoolboy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress’ eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honor, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon’s mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lined,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slippered pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side;
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank, and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.
Font is absolutely terrible, makes it look very amateurish which makes people instinctually avoid it, because they (rightly) think "If he can't spend a few bucks getting a designer to look at his font choice, why should I believe he spent time enough making the book good?"
The picture is ridiculous as well, it looks like you're trying to make it look like an anime? I don't know why you would want to do that, and you probably aren't actually, but that's what I get when I look at it. It's just ridiculous looking, and way too obviously ties into what the title is.
The concept is also trite and asinine. This concept is quite literally something that everyone has thought of. Just looking at the cover, and reading the way you write your posts, I can't imagine that you have anything new to say, or that even if you did it would be said well.
I laughed quite a few times
V. nice
Looking forward to 404/this thread. No offence; this might not be your target audience.
>>7710434
That looks familiar...
8/10 OP. v thought provoking
am i the only one who fucking loves marionettes?
goddamn i would always almost blow a load when this commercial came on
>>7711362
>am i the only one who fucking loves marionettes?
because you control them ?
do you love robots too ?
>>7711370
nah, just marionettes.
the asian chick puppet in team america did it for me, too.
though, oddly, the "am i still sexy?" marionette commercial was a total shut-down
The big twist at the end of the book is that You are God
>>7711362
Dolls and puppets, marionettes and mannequins, masks and paintings and writings and even pareidolia
I find all crafted and dreamt reflections of mankind more charming than the rough and deliquescing original
>>7711409
I think I'm going to throw up. I thought my writing was pretentious
Omg. Let this 404
What's that herb that comes after parsley but before rosrmary and thyme?
>>7711453
Moot took all that herb with him when he left, I'm afraid
>>7711430
>>7711460
Aww shit. And left us with fuckin' "senpai" word filter.
Does anybody remember the days of ' roody-poos? That was fun .
>>7711362
you should find someone with cerebral palsy to date
>>7707742
Have to admit, this is how I feel as well
We should have Shill generals for when people on here publishes something, or wants to talk about publishing, that might encourage more writing, and there's no escape from the allure of reading from /lit/'s books
>>7711493
Lit barely reads, hardly writes, and manages to publish once in a blue moon.
I'm pretty sure we already have shill threads, they're just rare and bare
I'll read your book, and if I like it I'll make you a better cover. I mean it.
>>7711326
No. Because i can tell itll be shit by looking at it. You can tell immediately its an amateurish effort of writing.
Know how to get around it? Make a less garish or obvious cover.
>>7711665
I think only the flames can salvage this masterpiece.
>>7707756
Hi Michael,
I'm reading through it now. I have had similar ideas and appreciate you for putting this down on paper - I could never vocalize them. Good luck with everything man.
Michael use a better cover, something more minimalist, the one you are using makes it look like a shitty young adult book
>>7707231
This is a great book man, the idea is very original and the writing is amazing. Keep up the good work!
It was cool before this but you lost me around here, mate.
>>7707231
Holy shitspeckle, you are on Barnes&Nobles. How the fuck does this numbnut gets published and shelved and I don't?the feels are real.
>>7712507
Barnes and nobles will sell anything in their store. They have book signings by self published authors all the time since it brings people into the store, even if it is friends and family members buying awful books as charity.
>>7707756
im starting to reading it. so basically you are saying that the knowledge of good and evil it´s morality?, morality it´s the sin.
>>7707231
>thinks he has invented christianity in 2016
take this L senpai fr
>>7707231
And what difference does it make?
I was walking along the path, feeling very down-hearted, when a most cheery and tingling freshening-up sensation went rippling through me, and I was too glad for any words, for I knew by that sign that Satan was by. I had noticed it before. Next moment he was alongside of me and I was telling him all my trouble and what had been happening to Marget and her uncle. While we were talking we turned a curve and saw old Ursula resting in the shade of a tree, and she had a lean stray kitten in her lap and was petting it. I asked her where she got it, and she said it came out of the woods and followed her; and she said it probably hadn't any mother or any friends and she was going to take it home and take care of it. Satan said:
"I understand you are very poor. Why do you want to add another mouth to feed? Why don't you give it to some rich person?"
Ursula bridled at this and said: "Perhaps you would like to have it. You must be rich, with your fine clothes and quality airs." Then she sniffed and said: "Give it to the rich—the idea! The rich don't care for anybody but themselves; it's only the poor that have feeling for the poor, and help them. The poor and God. God will provide for this kitten."
"What makes you think so?"
Ursula's eyes snapped with anger. "Because I know it!" she said. "Not a sparrow falls to the ground without His seeing it."
"But it falls, just the same. What good is seeing it fall?"
Old Ursula's jaws worked, but she could not get any word out for the moment, she was so horrified. When she got her tongue, she stormed out, "Go about your business, you puppy, or I will take a stick to you!"
>>7712719
Oh, it's one of THOSE novels...
A disguised lecture.
Someone post the garbage man.
>>7711478
postero underrato
>>7711478
marionettes don't shit
>>7712725
>>7712725
you shitting on twain?
https://www.gutenberg.org/files/3186/3186-h/3186-h.htm
>it's a 'you have to assume god exists but manifests in ways that have nothing to do with religion or science, you just have to believe' episode
>>7711476
Nostalgia is strong with this one. Also peoples champ. Was there more?
